If God had wanted us to fly he would have given us wings, as the old Luddite-like phrase goes. I’ve always thought phrases in this groove were ridiculous and simply highlighted mental weaknesses in the speaker, however this is one I do agree with:
If God had wanted the Poles to act like dickheads he would have given them cars.
Although I am, in the organised sense, God-Lite I do force myself to take some solace in the thought that perhaps God is demonstrating something very important by giving to the Poles what is essentially a big metal machine with the ability through misuse to kill or maim. What his lordiness is demonstrating, I hope, is precisely how this big metal machine of maybe-misery should not be used. He is giving us highly visible and instantly recognisable examples as to the method of use that will result in the highest possible level of absurdity and danger.
The long and the short of it is that Polish people cannot drive. There, I said it. It’s out there in all its generalising gorgeousness.
May I present my first piece of evidence, m’lord.
1. They tailgate.
The Poles who are actually able to pass the driving test (and I understand that it’s not uncommon for people to fail upwards of five times) drive on your bumper. I’m not 100% certain why they do this but it could be for one, all, or none of the following reasons:
2. They rarely thank you if you do them a favour on the road.
Polish people do not look other drivers in the eye. Moreover, they don’t seem to see other cars at all. In four days of driving around Poland on my holidays only one driver thanked me for stopping to allow them through…and he looked foreign.
Research in Holland, Germany and (of course) Sweden indicates that if you take away road markings and all the associated road furniture that the number of accidents decreases – especially at junctions. This is due, in part, to drivers looking deep into the eyes of other drivers and assessing their intentions. It makes drivers rely on non-verbal forms of communication thereby reducing the breakdowns in communication that can lead to accidents. This wouldn’t work in Poland. There’s no way this could work in Poland.
3. They do respect speed limits / They don’t respect speed limits.
On certain occasions the Poles do respect the speed limit.
There are so many signs in Poland telling drivers of the speed limit. Driving along a straight piece of road the speed could be, for example, 80kph however as you approach a bend in the road the signs tell you to reduce your speed to 50kph. This confused me a lot, as surely the driver should be able to use his or her intelligence and manage the speed of the car so as to avoid missing the corner entirely and driving into a tree or pretzel seller. Not so, my girlfriend and very capable co-driver told me. If the speed limit remained at the higher level then the Polish drivers would obey it and hurtle around the corner or perhaps through the corner. Madness.
On all other occasions the Poles don’t seem to respect the speed limit.
Take residential areas as an example. When I drive through a residential area or built up stretch of road I am absolutely petrified of running over a small child. I think killing a child with your car is probably one of those situations that would lead to you to having to top yourself and so I am ultra careful.
Note: Rather bizarrely the introduction of speed cameras in residential areas actually leads to drivers watching the speedometer rather than the road thereby increasing the possibility of an accident.
I tend to drive at or under the speed limits in such areas due to this very real feeling that I mustn’t do anything that could endanger the life of a pedestrian. This is perhaps why I was so amazed to be overtaken in pretty much every town or village by a Polish driver.
From what I understand, Polish people have a very real aversion to authority. Perhaps this stems from them being dictated to by Moscow for so many years. Perhaps not. Anyway, this desire to buck against the rule of law seems even to override any sense of moral responsibility. Either that or they’ve all left the gas on at home.
Conclusion
At this point you’d probably expect me to ramble on about how much better British drivers are and how this kind of ridiculousness is uncommon in Britland, however I’m not going to do that. Instead I’m going to compare the Polish drivers to those who fill the roads of the Czech Republic just over the border.
During the four days driving around the mountains, villages, towns and cities of Poland we also popped over the border a couple of times. I can tell you, hand on heart, that during my brief time there the Czech drivers were considerate, sensible and safe. No tailgating, no thankless passes and no overtaking in built up areas.
I don’t yet understand why the contrast is so apparent so if anyone can educate me then I would be forever grateful.
Disclaimer: Of course, not all Poles behave in the ways I have detailed but I guarantee that if you are Polish and are reading this that you will have experienced some or all of the above. If not, then I’d love to hear how I got it so wrong because, to be honest, I don’t think I have ;)
Next up: Broadly speaking there are two types of Poles who go hiking. I’m going to have a stab at describing both of them to you. Bear with me.
If God had wanted the Poles to act like dickheads he would have given them cars.
Although I am, in the organised sense, God-Lite I do force myself to take some solace in the thought that perhaps God is demonstrating something very important by giving to the Poles what is essentially a big metal machine with the ability through misuse to kill or maim. What his lordiness is demonstrating, I hope, is precisely how this big metal machine of maybe-misery should not be used. He is giving us highly visible and instantly recognisable examples as to the method of use that will result in the highest possible level of absurdity and danger.
The long and the short of it is that Polish people cannot drive. There, I said it. It’s out there in all its generalising gorgeousness.
May I present my first piece of evidence, m’lord.
1. They tailgate.
The Poles who are actually able to pass the driving test (and I understand that it’s not uncommon for people to fail upwards of five times) drive on your bumper. I’m not 100% certain why they do this but it could be for one, all, or none of the following reasons:
- This is how they are taught to drive by the not-happy-with-their-lot driving instructors who until recently were open to bribery (until, that was, cameras were installed in the cars, I am told).
- They are drunk and need to drive that close to the car in front as to drive at what normal people would consider a safe distance would result in confusion and possible mental paralysis leading them to drive off the road.
- They are all enrolled on training programmes with the Polish Institute of Space Search (PISS) and are a bit over keen about practising their docking skills. Note: They really are very good.
- They are environmentally friendly and are doing it to conserve energy by utilising the slipstream of the car in front.
- They are unaware of the rear view mirror in their own cars and so rely on the one in the car in front. This confuses them as they see a crazed driver in the car behind so they drive closer still.
- They are drawn like moths to the lights.
2. They rarely thank you if you do them a favour on the road.
Polish people do not look other drivers in the eye. Moreover, they don’t seem to see other cars at all. In four days of driving around Poland on my holidays only one driver thanked me for stopping to allow them through…and he looked foreign.
Research in Holland, Germany and (of course) Sweden indicates that if you take away road markings and all the associated road furniture that the number of accidents decreases – especially at junctions. This is due, in part, to drivers looking deep into the eyes of other drivers and assessing their intentions. It makes drivers rely on non-verbal forms of communication thereby reducing the breakdowns in communication that can lead to accidents. This wouldn’t work in Poland. There’s no way this could work in Poland.
3. They do respect speed limits / They don’t respect speed limits.
On certain occasions the Poles do respect the speed limit.
There are so many signs in Poland telling drivers of the speed limit. Driving along a straight piece of road the speed could be, for example, 80kph however as you approach a bend in the road the signs tell you to reduce your speed to 50kph. This confused me a lot, as surely the driver should be able to use his or her intelligence and manage the speed of the car so as to avoid missing the corner entirely and driving into a tree or pretzel seller. Not so, my girlfriend and very capable co-driver told me. If the speed limit remained at the higher level then the Polish drivers would obey it and hurtle around the corner or perhaps through the corner. Madness.
On all other occasions the Poles don’t seem to respect the speed limit.
Take residential areas as an example. When I drive through a residential area or built up stretch of road I am absolutely petrified of running over a small child. I think killing a child with your car is probably one of those situations that would lead to you to having to top yourself and so I am ultra careful.
Note: Rather bizarrely the introduction of speed cameras in residential areas actually leads to drivers watching the speedometer rather than the road thereby increasing the possibility of an accident.
I tend to drive at or under the speed limits in such areas due to this very real feeling that I mustn’t do anything that could endanger the life of a pedestrian. This is perhaps why I was so amazed to be overtaken in pretty much every town or village by a Polish driver.
From what I understand, Polish people have a very real aversion to authority. Perhaps this stems from them being dictated to by Moscow for so many years. Perhaps not. Anyway, this desire to buck against the rule of law seems even to override any sense of moral responsibility. Either that or they’ve all left the gas on at home.
Conclusion
At this point you’d probably expect me to ramble on about how much better British drivers are and how this kind of ridiculousness is uncommon in Britland, however I’m not going to do that. Instead I’m going to compare the Polish drivers to those who fill the roads of the Czech Republic just over the border.
During the four days driving around the mountains, villages, towns and cities of Poland we also popped over the border a couple of times. I can tell you, hand on heart, that during my brief time there the Czech drivers were considerate, sensible and safe. No tailgating, no thankless passes and no overtaking in built up areas.
I don’t yet understand why the contrast is so apparent so if anyone can educate me then I would be forever grateful.
Disclaimer: Of course, not all Poles behave in the ways I have detailed but I guarantee that if you are Polish and are reading this that you will have experienced some or all of the above. If not, then I’d love to hear how I got it so wrong because, to be honest, I don’t think I have ;)
Next up: Broadly speaking there are two types of Poles who go hiking. I’m going to have a stab at describing both of them to you. Bear with me.
6 Carefully Carved Comments:
Sounds like my worst nightmare...I don't enjoy driving at the best of times. Stereotype away! It makes great reading!
Sounds very like driving in South East London to me!
Yes this has been a bain in my life here for quite some time now too. Some are rude, childish and unfit to be behind the wheel of a Maluch never mind a 4 x 4. Was it 48 dead again on the roads last weekend? Such carnage is difficult to believe.
diane - i love stereotypes and don't mind hearing stereotypes about the english at all. it's all good fun.
nat - i remember driving in south london (i used to live in beckenham and was up around blackheath etc a lot. i quite agree.
shaun - 48 dead?! jesus, that's a lot. i'm going to have to read more polish news. any recommendations? warsaw voice..anything else?
And this is why I don't drive in Poland and am not looking forward to the day when I'll have to sit behind the wheel of a rented car (there are only so many places that you can reach by train). It's insanity...I find Polish drivers so very rude. You have my commiserations on your weekend driving experiences.
Flowers, your description is pretty accurate, but what next? Would you proceed to origin(s) of the status?
Hints (and nothing more, as I don't know the ultimate answers either):
= Why will the average Polish would-be driver pass their driving test after n-th time (as opposed to at their first go)?
= What European country boasts most road signs per sq meter? (Why?)
= Which country's traffic management authorities' way to waiver responsibility for damaging your car's chassis on holes is to put speed limit signs galore?
= Are there more roads in the Czech Republic or in Poland?
= (This is the major one, I think:) Why are Poles in so hell of a hurry? [You know, I know biz-people who have extra banknotes ready for possible police intervention: it's economically sounder for them to pay possible fines and economise on their time (expressed in pecuniary resources).]
Why does a personal me have to disobey speed limits at times? At times - I have to catch up the time lost somewhen earlier on holes-called-roads slowing me down effectively.
Yes, been to Germany and saw their local politeness. But they have decent ways to catch up their time spent on being polite downtown. Yes, been to Sweden and saw their local respect for the road code. It's just hard to respect a road code without roads. Etc. etc.
Tailgating = your fresh post says it all, that's the reason (in Poland).
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