Shovel Time

  • In fourth grade someone got the bright idea of cutting lunch to an outrageous 15 minutes (as if going to a year-round school without a cafeteria wasn't enough--we ate at our desks and were served by mobile carts in the hall). To get the slow eaters (me) up to speed, our teachers implemented a charming little policy called "Shovel Time."

    The first nine minutes would pass normally. Then as the tenth approached, Miss Stauffer (a feathered-haired gal who drove a Camaro, loved Little River Band...and apparently still teaches at Hollydale Elementary) would yell, "Do you know what time it is?!" The class would manically shriek back, "SHOVEL TIME!!!" Talking was absolutely forbidden the final five minutes—it was a deathly silent scarf fest.

    I don't know if I've ever been the same since. But as a nod to this classy ritual, I've adopted the humble scooping implement as my rating system's icon. Shovel on!
    ----------------------------------
    1 Shovel=Passing Fancy
    2 Shovels=Puppy Love
    3 Shovels=Crippling Crush
    4 Shovels=Serious Stalking

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Unguilty Pleasure

Vegetarian_chicken_salad_pita

I not only love old-fashioned chicken salad (light on the mayo, though—I’ve only shed my fear of the thick white condiment in recent years), but practically any permutation, Kosher vegetarian included.

These Healthy Korner pitas are inexplicably tasty. How can boring carrots, cabbage, celery, eggless mayonnaise and brown rice syrup (whatever that is) meld into a creamy, crunchy and satisfying light meal?

Carnivores and herbivores have been known to find the whole mock meat thing gross, but I love the chewy texture of pseudo proteins. Vegetarian Dim Sum House has mastered the Chinese approach, which appeals to my Asian food love.

But I don’t stop there. I have no love for hippies yet I’m a sucker for weird health food store prepackaged sandwiches. And as much as I like to rip on Oregon, I do miss the occasional Bhima Power Burger. I wish you could buy The Higher Taste products here. This isn’t the type of food I want to eat for dinner but I would take it over the deli salads and boring crap I normally eat for lunch.

I do draw the line at raw parsnip pinenut sushi, however.

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Comments

I didn't like chicken salad when I did eat meat, but this looks good to me today.

laura:It doesn't really taste that much like chicken salad, it's more of a hearty puree with some chewy bits in it but 100 times more appetizing than that description.

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