Jack Jordan - Suicide and Bereavement
July 24, 2008 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Radio Show Guests, Suicide
Jack Jordan is a psychologist in private practice in Sherborn, Massachusetts, where he specializes in working with loss and bereavement. He is also the founder and Director of the Family Loss Project, a research and clinical group providing services for bereaved families. He has worked with survivors of suicide and other losses for more than 25 years, and is the co-author of a new book for survivors titled After Suicide Loss: Coping with Your Grief. He has also published articles in professional journals about grief counseling, support groups, and the particular bereavement experience of suicide survivors. Jack provides training nationally for therapists and other healthcare professionals through the American Academy of Bereavement (Center for Hospice & Palliative Care, Buffalo, NY) and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, where he is on the Board of Directors of the New England Chapter of AFSP. He is the also a Co-Principal Investigator on a research project to increase our knowledge about the problems, support needs, and coping resources of suicide survivors.
Order Mr. Jordan’s New book here
Special Dream # 6
Introduction: My husband suffered from what is now recognized as an obsessive compulsive, bipolar disorder. Greg completed suicide in 1987 when he was thirty-two years old. In his unfortunate brilliance he was able to hide his problems from the psychiatrists with whom he worked with at a well known university hospital. Greg’s inner turmoil was tragic. It was during the year after his death that the following dream gave me much reassurance.
Dream: I am sitting at our old oak table in the dining room area. It is daytime and there is natural light streaming in from the window. Greg appears, wearing a red and black plaid flannel shirt which is wrinkled. I notice this instantly because he was always so concerned about everything being ironed and perfect. He is also wearing faded blue jeans that are ripped at the knee.
His appearance makes me feel comfortable and in this dream he is a regular person, not like how he was in life someone who had to “look perfect.” He is barefoot and smiling and joyful. Seeing him smile is something I hadn’t seen for a very long time. “I am healed!” He exclaims. “I am all better, look at me!” I look at him as he dances around in glee.
In my dream I am aware that this is the Greg I loved and I am aware that all his pain and misery have fallen off of him and he has entered into a place where he is whole. I do not speak to him, but I am watching him in gratitude, deep gratitude to see him happy again. I can feel my love reach out to him, surround him and there is a sense of oneness and joy. I am aware of a physical joy in my body as well as in my emotional being.
When I wake up, I am still wrapped in that splendid embrace in the knowledge of his healing. I feel like I am in a magic land and full of wonder. Then it hits me Greg is still dead and gone and my joy turns to tears and I weep into my pillow for a long time. Over time I begin to understand that even though he is no longer here, on this earth, he is truly healed. It was through this dream that I gained comfort and reassurance that Greg is now whole.
Annie D.