Crocodile Dundee star to taxman: 'Come and get me!', 'Friends' the movie? Dream on...

12:40PM Monday July 7, 2008

Crocodile Dundee star Paul Hogan has issued a challenge to Australian tax authorities to "Come and get me you miserable b*******", after a newspaper report claimed he's being probed over alleged tax liabilities.

Aussie actor-director Hogan, 68, who has lived in the Unites States for several years, is said to be under investigation amid claims of tax evasion, according to The Australian national newspaper.

The newspaper claims the Australian Tax authorities have enlisted help from the US Internal Revenue Services to obtain nine years worth of Hogan's banking records.

Four companies related to the actor are also said to be under investigation, according to court documents.

However, the Croc star is fighting back, and says he has already paid plenty of tax to the Australian Tax Office (ATO).

"They should build a statue of me at the tax office," the acerbic Aussie told Network Ten from his home in Santa Barbara.

"Come and get me," Hogan supposedly said with a grin.

"Come and get me you miserable b******."

"I'll give them every cent I made - both me and (business partner John) Cornell - if they give me back every cent they made out of the movies. I'll swap with them."

Hogan also revealed that he plans to return to his native Australia in September to work on a movie.

"I'll be arrested the minute I land on the shore, of course, but I have a gun; so be warned," he joked.

The actor's lawyer, David Rydon, said: "Mr Hogan is in the invidious position of not being able to publicly comment on any issues because of legislative constraints which may or may not prohibit him from public disclosure."

You just know that this will all end in tears.

And here comes one of my favourite sayings: "Remember that the toes you step on today are attached to the butts you may have to kiss tomorrow."

What a Croc.

Sharon Stoned (part deux)

Those friendly people over at PETA have offered knickerless wonder Sharon Stone a free brain scan - to help improve her waning compassion.

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk has reportedly written to the movie star, suggesting her recent brain-farts - like suggesting the recent China earthquake was all down to karma, and constant refusal to stop wearing fur - could all be down to an underdeveloped brain.

Newkirk writes, "Given that millions of people... were killed, injured, and left homeless by the recent earthquake in China, everyone was shocked to hear you dismiss the devastating effects of this disaster.

"However, your cavalier attitude did not come as a surprise to us. We are used to the indifference that you flaunt and the callous remarks that you make about the suffering and death of the animals whose fur you wear so often.

"Scientific studies suggest that the prefrontal regions of the brains of people who lack empathy might be underdeveloped. Here's our offer: Would you allow PETA to pay for a scan of the prefrontal region of your brain to determine if comments and actions that seem to demonstrate a lack of empathy are the result of a physical defect?"

Amazingly enough, Shazza's declined to comment on PETA's kind offer.

Blind items

Guess the celebutards...

"Which annoying singer is so into his Colombian marching powder, he's known as The Hoover by fed-up record label bosses?" Mirror

"Classic Hollywood... Our guy... was in rehab several times. One of his attempts at rehab took place out at Betty Ford. Prior to going to rehab he made arrangements for a helicopter to meet him in the desert with drugs. He would then use his exercise time to walk out into the desert, meet the helicopter and do his drugs. He would repeat this each day."

"Which naive actress didn't make any excuses as she sat in her party dress and sniffed cocaine off her mate's hand in the middle of a party?" Mirror

Quotes of the day

They said what?

"I made love to a few songs. Love You Gently is one of my favorites. Make her call you 'Daddy' when you put that one on."

- Remind me not to go on a hot date with R&B singer Usher. Daddy? Eugh.

"I think knowing which people I can trust and being more aware of my surroundings. It's like Dorothy, I'm not in Kansas anymore."

- Follow that yellow brick road, Miley Cyrus. Please.

"Do we get rich from the show still? You're cheeky but yeah - we all struck deals, hence I can take nice holidays in London."

- Moneybags Jennifer Aniston is enjoying making money from old rope.

Madge update

Your daily(ish) Madonna.

Madonna has issued yet another statement through her mouthpiece denying the escalating divorce and 'dirty love shame' rumours.

Her rep says via People.com: "My husband and I are not planning on getting a divorce. I know Alex Rodriguez through Guy Oseary, who manages both of us. I brought my kids to a Yankee game. I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study."

She adds: "I have learned over the years not to take accusations and the many false reports about me very seriously. I also appreciate how fiction and fact seem to be perceived as one and the same by people who read both newspapers and the internet."

Jeez. Cheer up, love.

All in the wrist

Erm, is Jake Gyllenhaal trying to tell us something?

Look here.

Nice teapot, dear.

Mimi's back

Mariah Carey's video for new single I'll Be Lovin' U Long Time.

Verdict?

Deep throat

Playboy hare Hugh Hefner almost died in 1977.

How? Well, the soft porn magnate nearly met his maker while choking on a sex toy.

Obviously.

A new book about Hefner reveals how the beast was making love with then playmate Sondra Theodire when the unfortunate incident occurred.

A source familiar with the tell-all book says, "Hef began choking and was about to pass out. Sondra quickly started pumping his chest until the toy was dislodged."

Occupational hazard for Hef, I guess.

Source.

Doing a Borat

Jim Carrey likes to cross-dress.

See here.

Ooh, matron!

Enjoy your lunch

Susan Olsen, aka Cindy Brady of cheesy US sit-com The Brady Bunch, turned up for a radio interview recently with the hangover from hell.

So green at the gills was Olsen, the Brady nearly barfed on her microphone.

Retching to her heart's content, the former star had to finally confess that she'd been out on the razz the night before, and was "going to go throw up now".

The defining moment has to be when her son blabs that his mother had been invited for a night on the tiles, so the fine citizens of Southern Colorado could all "Watch her drink like a pig!"

No Friends reunited

A big-screen version of Friends is not happening.

Rumours began swirling last week that a reunion movie was on the cards. Not so, says a rep for Warner Bros film studio.

"(There's) no truth in the story."

Following the huge success of Sex and The City, reports surfaced last week that cast members Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Kudrow, David Schwimmer, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc were all keen to sign on the dotted line and commit to a movie version of the show.

And it's a big fat no from Perry's mouthpiece too: "Nothing is happening in this regard, so the rumour is false."

Looks like it was all a case of wishful thinking. Disappointed?

Fast gossip

Get it while it's hot...

First look at new Harry Potter film: CFW

Mariah Carey's marriage on the slide? Not Obsessed

Posh & Becks: The musical: Holy Moly!

Naomi Watts is knocked up again: Daily Stab

Shocking Amy Winehouse news! CelebWarship

Megan Fox is available, boys: The Blemish

Hollywood role theft runs rampant! CR

Eddie Murphy's head is really huge: HR

Peaches Geldof embarrassed after being bounced from Jay-Z's party: Fametastic

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