Receptionist: "Doctor's office, may I help you?"
Rimarama: "Yes! Could you put me through to Doctor P-Dawg, please? This is his wife."
Receptionist: "Sure, Mrs. P-Dawg. One moment, please."
P-Dawg: "Hey, Rimster, what's up?"
Rimarama: "WHERE ARE THE FREAKIN' KEYS TO THE FRICKITY-FRACKIN' WINE CELLAR, P-DAWG??? You better not have them with you at work!"
P-Dawg: "It's ten o'clock in the morning. Why do you ask?"
Rimarama: "I need red wine for my crock pot beef stew, Smarty McSmartypants. There are probably forty bottles down there, AND NOT A DROP TO DRINK! I mean, 'PUT IN MY BEEF STEW'!!!" It's maddening!
P-Dawg: "Check your key ring, Rimster. I put an extra on it."
Rimarama: "Really?"
P-Dawg: "Really."
Rimarama: "Oh, OK. Good! Because for a minute, I thought I was going to have to bust in there all Miami Vice style, you know? Or pick the lock, at the very least, for the sake of the stew."
P-Dawg: "What were you going to use? . . . a Q-Tip????????"
Then, the P-Dawg broke into riotous, guffawing laughter and I hung up on his a$$.
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In case anyone is interested in a vertigo update, the early verdict is that the earwax/rogue Q-Tip fiber extraction really helped. I have felt better today than I have in a long time - even my sinuses are clearer and I don't have my usual daily headache. So I'm hoping it does the trick. Now, I still have to do daily exercises to help my balance system right itself after being wonked out for so long, but I am definitely doing much better. In fact, I think everyone should get their ears cleaned out and their heads checked.
The only negative, really, is the fact that P-Dawg won't stop making fun of me, and my new nickname is "Q-Tip."
14 comments:
I read your post yesterday to my husband. I figure he must have a baseball or two wedged in his ears with all the Q-tipping he does. No wonder he can't hear me.
You have a freaking wine cellar?! You can't complain about 2 feet of snow when you have forty bottles of wine on hand. You just can't. :)
you're not supposed to drink at 10 in the morning?
I'm still stuck on the fact that you have a wine cellar. With forty bottles to boot. If it wasn't 2000 miles away I'd so be coming over.
So really it was the earwax? Wow, that's crazy. That's great that you seemed to figure it out though. I am never putting another q-tip in my ear ever ever again.
Q-tip, huh? Nice.
You need to think of a new one for him. The Keymaster? Red Wine-r Decliner?
Hanging up is an underappreciated art. I do it all the time.
The clean ear has got to help. Having the equivalent of a cotton t-shirt in your head can't be good.
Knot
Q-tip? I love it!
I want a wine cellar! Wah! Then again, it's probably best I don't have one. Chances are I wouldn't be putting it in a crock pot at 10am.
AH HAHAHAHAHAHA! Excuse me for laughing, I couldn't help myself. AHEM, Glad you are feeling better.
Nothing more satisfying than hanging up on someone when they're being a jerk.
Q-tip, that's actually a "Qte" nickname (sorry, me bad).
Thanks for your kind words over at my internet space... they are helping...
Wait. You have a wine cellar?
I'm coming over this weekend to visit. I'll bring the Q-Tips. You provide the vino
I would totally freak out if I didn't have a key to my wine cellar, too. Prolly by 9am :-)
Girl. You need to get a copy of that key and store it in the Q-TIP box.
A wine cellar? That's practicaly a 4th bedroom! Score!
You have a wine cellar? Ohhhh - my husband is so jealous. We get cases - cases I tell you! - from our wine club (Gainey in CA, awesome) and sometimes we have to put bottles on top of the kitchen cabinets. No wine cellar...
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