Why You Love Who You Do
The following guest post is by Beth Turnage of Astrology Explored.
Who are we attracted to? Who lights our fire? Pop psychology tells us we fall in love with our mothers, but it is more complicated than that. The key to who we are attracted to is in our personal planets and certain house cusps.
Since, in our culture, we expect our partners to fill defined gender roles, we first look at the Sun and Moon. If you are a heterosexual woman, you expect your partner to fill the masculine role defined by your Sun sign. If you are a heterosexual man, your Moon defines your image of femininity. It is not necessary that your partner shares your Sun or Moon sign, but that they represent the images of those planets. If you are an Aries woman, you see a man as being masculine by being aggressive, passionate and sociable. Sensitive, shy Pisces need not apply! If you are Pisces man with an Aries moon, your idea of femininity includes that of the Huntress -- assertive, passionate and sociable.
Venus represents the things that you love. It represents the values that are important to you. Venus tells you the qualities that are the deal makers and the deal breakers in a relationship. If you have Venus in Capricorn, you value someone who carries their own natural authority, who is steady and reliable, and who can elevate your status in life. Eventually, if the person you are interested in fails to live up to this ideal, you drop them.
Mars is our sexual attraction radar. The zodiac sign in which your Mars is placed tells you the manner in which the mating instinct acts on you. If you have Mars in the intellectual sign of Gemini, you find witty, social and intelligent people very sexy. If you have Mars in Leo, you are attracted to the alpha male or female because you believe you deserve nothing less than the best. If your Mars is in Cancer, you desire someone to nurture you. It gets you all hot when your special someone serves you breakfast in bed.
The sign on the cusp of the Fifth House of Romance tells you how you like your loving. With slow and steady Taurus, you want to take your time, and be wooed with flowers and chocolates. With Sagittarius, you want to fall in love with love, with the nearest person to you!
The Seventh House tells you the kind of partner you want to marry. If you have Aquarius on the Seventh House cusp, you want someone who is intelligent, social, and unusual in some way. The person may come from a different country or culture, or be much younger or in some cases, much older than you.
The Eighth House talks about how you like your sex. The sign on the cusp of the Eighth is very descriptive of how you make love and how you want want love made to you. If you've got Virgo on the Eighth, you want to be wickedly seduced; in Pisces, you want to be romanced.
If you don't know where your personal planets lie, you can go here to get a list of planets in your personal chart.
Here is partial list of zodiac keywords that you can match with your personal planets:
You may notice as you go through the signs and the keywords that there are parts of you at odds with another. If you have a gentle Taurus Sun but a go-getter Aries moon, for instance, you find it hard to sit still, yet you are annoyed that you can't. These contradictions carry through to our relationships, where we find we desire vastly divergent qualities in our partners as well. A key to building a successful relationships is to understand where the incompatibilities in our charts build difficult, sometimes impossible expectations of our partners. When we make peace with those contradictory elements in ourselves, we can have more reasonable expectations of our partners.
About the Author
Beth is a professional astrologer with over twenty years experience counseling clients in career and relationship issues. She writes an astrology column for a weekly newspaper along the Connecticut shoreline and blogs about astrology daily at the 451 Press blog Astrology Explored.
More by Beth on Seduction Central: What Planet Rules Your Romance?
Comment below: Who do you love, and how do you see his or her qualities reflected in your natal chart?
Who are we attracted to? Who lights our fire? Pop psychology tells us we fall in love with our mothers, but it is more complicated than that. The key to who we are attracted to is in our personal planets and certain house cusps.
Since, in our culture, we expect our partners to fill defined gender roles, we first look at the Sun and Moon. If you are a heterosexual woman, you expect your partner to fill the masculine role defined by your Sun sign. If you are a heterosexual man, your Moon defines your image of femininity. It is not necessary that your partner shares your Sun or Moon sign, but that they represent the images of those planets. If you are an Aries woman, you see a man as being masculine by being aggressive, passionate and sociable. Sensitive, shy Pisces need not apply! If you are Pisces man with an Aries moon, your idea of femininity includes that of the Huntress -- assertive, passionate and sociable.
Venus represents the things that you love. It represents the values that are important to you. Venus tells you the qualities that are the deal makers and the deal breakers in a relationship. If you have Venus in Capricorn, you value someone who carries their own natural authority, who is steady and reliable, and who can elevate your status in life. Eventually, if the person you are interested in fails to live up to this ideal, you drop them.
Mars is our sexual attraction radar. The zodiac sign in which your Mars is placed tells you the manner in which the mating instinct acts on you. If you have Mars in the intellectual sign of Gemini, you find witty, social and intelligent people very sexy. If you have Mars in Leo, you are attracted to the alpha male or female because you believe you deserve nothing less than the best. If your Mars is in Cancer, you desire someone to nurture you. It gets you all hot when your special someone serves you breakfast in bed.
The sign on the cusp of the Fifth House of Romance tells you how you like your loving. With slow and steady Taurus, you want to take your time, and be wooed with flowers and chocolates. With Sagittarius, you want to fall in love with love, with the nearest person to you!
The Seventh House tells you the kind of partner you want to marry. If you have Aquarius on the Seventh House cusp, you want someone who is intelligent, social, and unusual in some way. The person may come from a different country or culture, or be much younger or in some cases, much older than you.
The Eighth House talks about how you like your sex. The sign on the cusp of the Eighth is very descriptive of how you make love and how you want want love made to you. If you've got Virgo on the Eighth, you want to be wickedly seduced; in Pisces, you want to be romanced.
If you don't know where your personal planets lie, you can go here to get a list of planets in your personal chart.
Here is partial list of zodiac keywords that you can match with your personal planets:
Aries | Courageous, energetic, confident, ardent, competitive |
| Taurus | Persevering, loyal, sensual, steady, gentle, practical |
| Gemini | Curious, communicative, sophisticated, agile, perceptive |
| Cancer | Sensitive, family-oriented, nurturing, protective, emotional |
| Leo | Noble, creative, loyal, energetic, dignified, proud, optimistic, affectionate |
| Virgo | Health and hygiene conscious, detail-oriented, practical, conscientious, sensual |
| Libra | Gracious, elegant, romantic, cooperative, sociable, balancing-seeking, fair-minded |
| Scorpio | Sexy, deep, resourceful, passionate, magnetic, powerful |
| Sagittarius | Adventurous, philosophical, cheerful, extroverted, athletic |
| Capricorn | Organized, responsible, cautious, dutiful, persistent, patient, realistic, loyal |
| Aquarius | Innovative, friendly, ingenious, individualistic, progressive, intellectual |
| Pisces | Imaginative, romantic, sensitive, compassionate, sympathetic, dreamy |
You may notice as you go through the signs and the keywords that there are parts of you at odds with another. If you have a gentle Taurus Sun but a go-getter Aries moon, for instance, you find it hard to sit still, yet you are annoyed that you can't. These contradictions carry through to our relationships, where we find we desire vastly divergent qualities in our partners as well. A key to building a successful relationships is to understand where the incompatibilities in our charts build difficult, sometimes impossible expectations of our partners. When we make peace with those contradictory elements in ourselves, we can have more reasonable expectations of our partners.
About the Author
Beth is a professional astrologer with over twenty years experience counseling clients in career and relationship issues. She writes an astrology column for a weekly newspaper along the Connecticut shoreline and blogs about astrology daily at the 451 Press blog Astrology Explored.
More by Beth on Seduction Central: What Planet Rules Your Romance?
Comment below: Who do you love, and how do you see his or her qualities reflected in your natal chart?
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posted by Jeffrey Kishner at 5/06/2008
7 Comments:
Very nicely written guest post! Thanks. It's funny. I just had a friend yesterday ask me what signs he might keep his eye out for to date, etc. I was a bit daunted by the question (especially considering he doesn't know a whole lot about astrology).
I answered as best I could, but ultimately told him to follow his intuition. I tried to blend some information in from various areas of his chart. It's not an easy task. Interaction is a tricky thing. I think we already have an inner radar/imprint for the type of person that attracts us.
Anyway, thanks for the post.
I've read that the Venus in man's chart (the sign that Venus is in) represents the kind of woman he is attracted to & Mars in a woman's chart (the sign that Mars is in) represents the kind of man she is attracted to.I would imagine Venus & Mars play an important role in attraction irrespective of gender, but is there really a gender based difference?
@shygirl, Stephen Arroyo in Relationships and Life Cycles writes that, for a woman, Venus is her "feminine ego" and that for a man, Mars is his "masculine ego." We typically identify sexually with the planet associated with our gender. In which case we would project the other planet onto people of the opposite gender (hetero-wise, at least).
I display qualities of a Pisces when I'm feeling romantic (Venus/Mars in Pisces). My Taurus Moon is shown through my resistance to form attachments too quickly, taking it slow but being very reliable and consistent with my affections. My sun in Aquarius remains fairly distant, but the Pisces is always very much involved. I'm appear very aloof about my deep feelings... (1) to keep my freedom and (2) I'm shy about how I feel. It is through my devotion that loved ones know that I care. Actions speak louder than words.
WOW!! I am speechless!! *applauds* One of the best astro blogs I've read and completely comprehensible for us rookies!! Thank you!! I loved this!!!!
i agree with hannah. we must follow our intuition... my ex was aries moon in scorpio venus pisces he was in love with me aries moon in gemini venus acquarius, but he was all the time sheating and agressif , lying, i break up, but i noticed that he was attracted by virgo even if the relation with them finish all the time by breakup.
it's little difficul to match all this .. now i have a lot of gemini around , i like them but they dont fulfill my passionate side like sagittarius
I'm replying to this comment:
"Anonymous said...
I display qualities of a Pisces when I'm feeling romantic (Venus/Mars in Pisces). My Taurus Moon is shown through my resistance to form attachments too quickly, taking it slow but being very reliable and consistent with my affections. My sun in Aquarius remains fairly distant, but the Pisces is always very much involved. I'm appear very aloof about my deep feelings... (1) to keep my freedom and (2) I'm shy about how I feel. It is through my devotion that loved ones know that I care. Actions speak louder than words."
I have an Aquarius sun, Moon/Venus/Mars in Pisces, and the part with sowing my emotions is quite the similar, with the only difference that in relationships I can't restrain myself and I usually say those 3 words first ! I'm giving to the bitter end, and aI sacrifice time, finances, and I'm devoted to the person I love. That's something that caused me a lot of deception of course (pisces - sucker, right?) but I must also agree that I hardly show my feelings to those that deserve it better ! That I think it is a (negative) Aquarian habit ! - Question: How could I make things more easier for me by not committing so fast, or at least how could I not "kill my ego" with this excessive care for my f**k buddy (it's a joke!) - What's your experience ?
Thanks !
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