I Think Anyone Can Become a Model
There are two ways that I can approach this story, I can use this as evidence that women are completely insane or I can use this as evidence that you can truly shine shit.
Kemari Fulbright a law school student and former model was recently arrested in Arizona on charges of kidnapping, armed robbery, aggravated robbery and two counts of aggravated assault. From the yahoo article:
Fulbright is accused of holding and torturing her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend in early December with the help of three other men, including another man she had previously dated.
Fulbright invited the man to her apartment, then excused herself to shower, said police spokesman Sgt. Fabian Pacheco. Then two men showed up and bound him with plastic ties and duct tape, accused him of taking the jewelry, and threatened to shoot him with pistols, Pacheco said.
When Fulbright finished her shower, she allegedly bit the man on his forearm, right hand and ear, held a butcher knife to his head, and told him she was going to kill him.
First of all he had to know on some level that she is crazy if they used to date. And how come the whole, “I have to hop into the shower” thing wasn’t a red flag. Who invites someone over and then decides to jump into the shower while they wait? Crazy people, that’s who. I am not saying the dude got what he deserved but… You have to look at it this way, it is like when a girl wears a really slutty outfit and…. Okay, there is no parallel, I just wanted to see if I could link the two and failed miserably. Anyways, the whole binding and torturing thing thought isn’t even what is interesting to me it is the before and after picture.
Before:
A reasonably attractive girl, well her body his nice… if you look at her face closely it kind of looks like one of the cavemen from the GEICO commercials. I think that is why the photographer had her hold up the assault weapon so high, it distracts you from her cave dweller like features. Overall though, not all that shabby.
Then we look at the after picture.
After:
Is that a straight jacket or a sheet? Anyways, holy hell… Makeup and hairstyling products truly are an amazing thing. I am totally convinced at this point that if Rocky Dennis were born today and had the right beauty pageant people around him he could be a male model. In fact this has motivated me to seek out the top salon in Buffalo, I think that if I go in there I can come out looking like Brat Pitt or at least like Joey Fatone. Eh… on second thought.
If someone invites you over to their house and immediately decides to go take a shower don’t you find that odd?
This is going up at humor-blogs.com
Have fun in NYC! 
On 01/4/08 at 9:15 am
Gern said:
A Rocky Dennis reference . . .Good job!
I think someone jumping in the shower right after you
arrive at their place is step above needing to wash their hands after you shake. I think it says “Dude the air off you makes me feel dirty.” or, your about to get Tonya Harding-ed by a couple of goons.
On 01/4/08 at 10:13 am
Kevin said:
Everyone likes a Rocky Dennis reference.
On 01/4/08 at 9:46 am
Stephanie said:
That after pic is BEYOND scary. What’s with the big round red mark on her forehead? LOL
On 01/4/08 at 10:09 am
Kevin said:
I have no idea… I am still trying to figure it out
On 01/4/08 at 11:42 am
The Muse said:
The red mark is where the head dork put out his cigarette on her forehead.
On 01/4/08 at 9:51 am
abby said:
hmmm…thinking back i’ve invited someone over and took a few minutes to take a shower…but i knew he was going to be there a while and that i was going to be fucking him and wanted to be nice and clean.
crazy? i think not.
On 01/4/08 at 10:08 am
Kevin said:
Totally and utterly insane
On 01/4/08 at 10:13 am
Bonnie said:
Holy shit she is nasty.
She looks like she is on crack or something with all of those sores all over her face.
On 01/4/08 at 10:19 am
Kevin said:
It is hot.. okay not really
On 01/4/08 at 10:21 am
Lori said:
Looks like she might have been naked when they brought her in and they had shield us from the horror. If her body looks anything like her face. Id be scarred for life. Get it?? Scarred!! Ok, I made myself giggle at least !
On 01/4/08 at 10:25 am
Kevin said:
that entertained me
On 01/4/08 at 10:31 am
Katie said:
I bet she resisted arrest and that is why she looks so beat up. I’ve watched COPS, I know the deal. The before pic looks like it could of been in the Tranny or not quiz.
On 01/4/08 at 10:50 am
Kevin said:
The police never rough anyone up.
On 01/4/08 at 10:38 am
Nichole E. said:
In the “After” pic she looks like one of those Troll dolls. Yikes!
On 01/4/08 at 10:51 am
Kevin said:
Good call.
On 01/4/08 at 11:13 am
kate said:
if i was going to hop in the shower after i let the person i invited over in, i would take him by the hand….keeping pg-13 here..
On 01/4/08 at 11:21 am
Ben Dover said:
No. Because there is one thing I want, and it’s SEX! Then again I am a Freshman in college, so what do I know?
On 01/4/08 at 11:24 am
Fiona said:
I’d think I was getting shower sex….
On 01/4/08 at 11:41 am
The Muse said:
But what if you had just driven cross country in a diaper. ;^)
On 01/4/08 at 12:10 pm
That Guy said:
girl invites me to come shower with her, not insane, girl just leaves me hanging with her “overly affectionate” dog, utterly insane.
been in both situations, and when the latter occurs, when she gets out of the shower, i’m 15 miles down the road.
On 01/4/08 at 12:52 pm
Matty said:
God that chick is scary…cave dweller scary.
Nice Rocky Dennis reference. I’m sure that Cher and Sam Elliot somewhere are proud.
On 01/4/08 at 1:14 pm
christina said:
actually i find this as proof that law school makes people crazy, no wonder lawyers are so evil, haha
On 01/4/08 at 2:26 pm
Ally said:
“If someone invites you over to their house and immediately decides to go take a shower don’t you find that odd?”
Only if they dont invite you to join them… in that case you should just get the hell out of there!
On 01/4/08 at 3:58 pm
Tits McGee said:
Okay the Geico bit made me snort.
The only time i’d take a shower after a guy just arrived was if I knew he was going to be eating some cookie. Even then probably wouldnt be a shower since im so lazy and it would be more of a wash your face and brush your teeth except it would be wash your pussy and brush your teeth kind of thing.
This made me laugh. Thank you. I stil wish you’d come back to myspace but ah well…i’ll keep visiting.
-j
On 01/4/08 at 4:35 pm
-RM said:
not really…I would think that she probably took a rowdy dump and is being considerate enough for me when I go down to toss the salad! If it were a guy that did it, well fuck that! I’d run out immediately!
On 01/4/08 at 4:56 pm
Beaker said:
You know you look like Dave Mathews.
On 01/4/08 at 6:33 pm
Kadi said:
My mother knew Rocky Dennis, and she is NO Rocky Dennis!! At least he was born that way, and couldn’t help it. This chick could have easily prevented looking so scary. So ghetto. Almost Brittany Spears brand of ghetto…almost.
On 01/4/08 at 6:57 pm
Harris said:
Shower sex is overrated - too tough working the angles.
rock on,
aitch
On 01/4/08 at 11:10 pm
merri said:
my friend always goes in the shower when i come over. or sometimes hes already there when i get there. but usually we’re going out somewhere… so it makes sense. i dont think that would be a red flag to me. the girl, however, wasnt even cute to begin with.
On 01/5/08 at 4:49 pm
offendedblogger said:
Holy smokes.
Your head on her body in the first picture would look better. She reminds me of a tranny anyway. The second one looks like she headbutted someone’s fist.
I need a shower after seeing this now, thanks.
On 01/8/08 at 10:15 pm
Scott said:
Awesome post. I saw this girl elsewhere and thought the exact same thing about her looking like a caveman. I can’t even look at the after picture for more than a couple seconds without feeling sick.
On 01/14/08 at 2:25 pm
Brittany said:
my jobs increaded after having a surgery that changed my eye color. people did not want to hire me with fake looking color contacts or my green eyes. now after having the newcoloriris procedure that permanelty changed my eye color im geting many offers