WebProNews

I deal with a lot of PR flaks, marketing guys, computer geeks, company founders and CEOs, but not one of them has ever uttered a phrase like this: “Instead of just iCams or emoticons, you can reach out and tickle or fondle someone if they agree to it."

That gem is courtesy of Amir Vatan, co-founder of HighJoy Products. His company specializes in cyberdildonics, a.k.a. teledildonics, a.k.a. icky Internet-controlled sex junk. HighJoy.com* is a kind of Facebook for. . .is a MySpace for. . .well, you know.

"Very soon, you will be able to post a HighJoy widget on any social networking site, like Facebook or MySpace,” Vatan tells Jennifer Parks, “so that anyone who visits your profile can engage in virtual sex with you if you choose."

Seems Vatan is fond of permission conditionals; I imagine next generation hackers will hatch nefarious schemes to take control of masses of Internet dildos via vibrator botnets capable of occupying lonely housewives long enough to steal all their passwords.

Can’t you see it?

Okay, you can stop seeing it now. Back to the subject. HighJoy seems very serious about this, and though the industry’s available (and expensive) Internet-enabled vibrators are still somewhat primitive, HighJoy has enlisted the best cyberdildonic engineers, marketers, financiers, and lawyers around.

And yes, they have patents. With partners like sex toy manufacturer Doc Johnson and adult video company Vivid as partners, they seem to have all their dicks in a row.

Ducks. I meant ducks.

At any rate, these devices are already in use, like at cam sites you’ll have to find for yourself where girls happy to show you what (and where) the selling points are for a nominal fee.

And, so goes the tale woven at CalgaryHerald, by our troops. They probably even have an acronym for it.  




_{*If you’re at work and you visit that site, you’d better have a darn good work-related reason for doing so—like me—or you’ll be more than telescrewed.}