Weary Parent: Parenting Tweens & Teens

Is Hollywood to Blame for the Pregnancy Pact?

by Christine on June 20th, 2008

Is Hollywood to blame for teen pregnancy? Many people think so as the news of a pregnancy pact at Gloucester High School in Massachusetts spreads. Seventeen girls at the school are pregnant this year. That’s four times as many as last year. The school started to get suspicious when many girls began to come in to the school clinic for pregnancy tests. Some of the girls seemed more upset by a negative test than a positive test. And others celebrated positive pregnancy tests with high fives and plans for baby showers. After some investigation, the school determined some of the girls had planned their pregnancies. Their goal is to raise their babies together. In fact one was so desperate to be a mother that here baby’s father is a 24-year-old homeless man.

On the Early Show with Julie Chen, psychologist Linda Boesky, author of “When to Worry: How to Tell If Your Teen Needs Help And What to Do About It,” said, “I think a part of it is this celebrity culture. If you look at all the celebrity magazines, celebrity TV shows, you can’t turn a page without seeing more and more celebrities getting pregnant.” She also went on to say that movies like “Juno” and “Knocked Up” are also part of the problem. Girls see these movies and look at photos of pregnant celebrities and they want to try it too.

But is that really why these girls are pregnant?

Christopher Farmer, the school’s Superintendent, said these young girls are generally “girls who lack self-esteem and have a lack of love in their life.” He went on to say, for these girls, “motherhood gives them status.” These girls aren’t trying to be like Jamie Lynn Spears or Ashlee Simpson. They are just looking for love…in all the wrong places.

It’s not common, but teenage girls have been getting pregnant on purpose for many years; long before “Juno” or “Knocked Up.” All you need to do is watch reruns of the Montell Williamsshow or Jerry Springer. These girls don’t have the love and attention they desire at home and they think a baby will give them what they need. After all, babies love you unconditionally, right?

Is Jamie Lynn Spears to blame? She just had a baby girl and she is only 17-years-old. Are girls looking up to her thinking “I want to be just like her?” I’m not buying it. There was such a big uproar about Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy. People were outraged. Certainly teens were aware of the backlash of such a young girl getting pregnant. And Jamie Lynn herself came out about how disappointed she was in herself and how she wished it hadn’t happened, but she was going to take care of her responsibilities.

The problem is not Hollywood. The problem is these girls and their parents. We are always so apt to blame somebody else in our society. Heavy Metal made me do it. Drugs made me do it. McDonald’s is to blame for my spilled coffee burn because their hot coffee is hot. It’s time to take some responsibility for our actions.

The fact of the matter is teen mothers are less likely to finish high school. They are less likely to go to college. They are more likely to have premature babies and low birth weight babies. Girls are more likely to be teen parents when their mom was a teen parent. Boys are more like to do jail time if they had a teen mom. They usually struggle more. It’s harder for them to find good paying jobs. It’s harder for them to get mortgages. It’s harder for them period. But for some reason girls don’t get this. And that’s our fault.

We’ve discussed talking to your kids about sex before, but I can’t stress it enough. It needs to be a continuous conversation. When you found out Jamie Lynn was pregnant that was the time to discuss teen pregnancy. If your child saw Juno or Knocked Up then that was the time to discuss those movies; get their feedback and talk about your expectations. Teens can’t fully understand the consequences of their actions so we need to keep pounding that information in to their head. Tell them how difficult it is for a teen mom. Let them know the consequences. Make them aware of the work that goes in to taking care of a baby. They need to know they won’t have Friday night football games or sleepovers at friends’ houses anymore. Instead they will be getting up every two hours a night to feed and change a screaming baby. They will be getting a job to pay for formula and diapers.

Gloucester High School officials and parents have declined to provide condoms and contraceptives to students so far, but they are discussing this issue again. Handing out birth control isn’t going to resolve the problem Especially in this case. These girls wanted to get pregnant. They wouldn’t have gone to the clinic for birth control even if it was available. Providing contraceptives is just masking the problem. The problem is these girls have low self esteem. They are seeking love in the wrong place. They don’t understand the consequences of this behavior. They don’t need the Pill. They need education. They need role models.

Recently I wrote a post about an Arizona school who was including condoms in their prom goodie bag. I continue to get comments on that post; several from teens. I was a little surprised (although happy) to read a comment from a boy who just attended prom and said he would be offended if his school had handed out condoms. But then the next two comments had me pounding my head of the desk. One commenter said handing out condoms showed that the school understood they were close to being adults and able to make their own decisions. Close being the opportune word here. To that I was screaming “if you adults then buy your own flippin’ condoms.” The next commenter said several of his friends were planning on having sex, but were frustrated about having to find condoms so late at night so they probably would have forgone them if the school didn’t give them one. If you aren’t mature enough to prepare by buying condoms ahead of time and are relying on condoms from the school then you aren’t mature enough for sex. But this is how teens think. They don’t. So we need to keep pushing the issue. We need to keep the communication going so we don’t have teens entering in to a pact that will effect them for the rest of their life.

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