I've mentioned that when my OB unit is empty I'm normally at home on call. On rare occasions I am called in even when there are no patients as there needs to be an OB nurse in house all the time. Saturday night was one of those nights. 12 hours on the unit by myself.
How might I fill the time?
- -Clean delivery room mirrors, pause to wonder what pregnant woman wants to watch their vagina bring forth a 7 pound being. The miracle of childbirth is some gross business.
- -Prepare for algebra homework by sharpening all 14 pencils in backpack.
- -Throw a fit that hospital firewall prevents the viewing of blogs.
- -Set up i pod, dance in nursery until I remember I'm on security camera.
- -Look at algebra homework. Feel guilty. Don't do it anyway.
- -Answer phone and spend 20 minutes explaining to caller that I have no way of knowing if she got pregnant last night.
- -Put together enough admission packets to last 6 years.
- -Out patient . . . YAY!
- -Receive results on outpatients urinalysis, note that her urine has a sperm count.
- -Die laughing.
- -Note to self--always shower after sex and before giving up a urine sample.
- -Phone doctor, omit sperm count info, send patient home with antibiotics (for the UTI, not the sperm)
- -Sneak up to roof for cigarette (shhhh!)
- -Eat Kashi frozen dinner, make nasty faces until I pour half a pound of salt on it, defeating the entire purpose of eating a Kashi dinner.
- -Go to ER to visit Melissa.
- -Check out cute ass on new X-ray tech. Scrubs never made a butt look so good.
- -Still don't do algebra homework.
- -Work out abs on excer-ball, then remember the last person to use it insisted upon laboring naked.
- -Disinfect excer-ball.
- -Overdue outpatient, not contracting. I tell her to go home and have sex to start labor.
- -Hope she showers afterwards.
- -Spend half an hour in bathroom after the 2 gallons of coffee I've had.
- -Prepare for oncoming shift, THANK GOD.
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I apologize to anyone reading this at mayas mom or in a reader, I know it looks a little stupid. If anyone can tell me how to get bullet points to show up on my blog, I'd really appreciate it!
I apologize to anyone reading this at mayas mom or in a reader, I know it looks a little stupid. If anyone can tell me how to get bullet points to show up on my blog, I'd really appreciate it!
Well at the outpatient came in and gave you something to laugh about! And you got paid to do all of that!
Thankfully, I've never been turned away from the labor and delivery unit. I think I might have even been taken INSTEAD of some other pregnant people. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Becky - Getting paid is the best part!
Mombabe - I always feel so guilty having to tell someone "No, your water didn't break, you just peed yourself". Talk about disappointment and humiliation all in one fell swoop!
Now that sounds like an exciting night! ;-p
sperm count in the urine. hahahaha. Love it. Additionally, sharp pencils are the bomb. I hate to break out 'the bomb' like that it's cool to say, but freshly sharpened pencils are just awesome.
Jackie - I like to live life on the edge. :D
Amanda - I totally agree!! I'll go through three or four in one math assignment. Love that fine scratchy goodness!
Sounds like you had a blast! If it was me there would have been about 19 more of the rooftop expeditions. :D
My work is the same way. Either balls to the walls, or Zzzzzzz. :D
Oddly enough, I encounter very few balls on the OB unit . . . :D
Did I mnetion I got a 100% on algebra quiz last week?
Do your homework, trust me it's makes a huge difference.
Did you nab the security cam vid to show us??
Janice - That's 'cause you're all awesome. pouty face as I go do my algebra homework
Maria - No one should be exposed to that video, no one.