As you know I have two children a daughter who just turned 22 and a son who is 16. I call them C1 and C2 for Child #1 and Child #2. When most people have two children, you can see differences in their personalities and their approach to things like school. But I was blessed with two children exactly the same.
C1 and C2 are very, very smart. They test well. They have a lot of natural talent and ability. Consequently, they have never learned how to work hard or put forth one iota of effort. Just to give you an example, C2 doesn't like to take honors classes in school because he'd have to open a book and read a little. I mean, I'm in awe of their natural ability. I think they got it from their dad.
Anyway, when they were in elementary school, my husband would pay them for making A's and B's on their report cards. An "A" yielded more money than a "B". I can't remember exactly how much each was worth, but they got paid. As they got to middle school and high school, it seems that they didn't need the money because they would do just enough school work to get a passing grade.
So that brings me to my question: Should children be paid for grades?
Reasons to pay.
1. When you go to work you get paid. School is a job for kids, so why not pay them?
2. Payment is an incentive. If they know they're going to get paid, that may encourage them to excel, but not my kids.
3. Life is expensive. Children have many wants. Earning money for performance in school is an opportunity for parents to teach children the money mantras: earn, save, invest and give to charity.
4. If there is some toy or gadget that a child really wants, this is an opportunity for them to learn delayed gratification.
Reasons not to pay.
1. School and school work is what you do as a child. A pat on the back should be sufficient. There should be no expectation of a monetary reward.
2. If children are paid to make good grades, they won't learn to appreciate education. They will only work for the grade to get the money.
3. There are other ways for children to earn money. For example, chores.
4. Rather than paying children for grades, children should be given an allowance. Parents can still teach the money mantras with the allowance money.
Obviously, for me hind sight is 20-20. But what do you think? Should we pay children for good grades? Should we pay them when they score a touchdown, make a field goal, or hit a home run? How do you weigh in on this subject?
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Should Children be Paid to Excel in School?
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9 comments:
Ibelieve in paying for grades, especially when multi-childrened (I know it isn't a word :) ) Like us.
Peer pressure is great when one has money for something extra and another doesn't.
I believe it is like bonus time at work...god quarter, here's a little something, bad quarter, sorry charlie!
Wealthy 1,
I confess, we did "pay" our older girls when they were in high school. If they received an "A" in any subject they received $10.00. It did not apply to subjects such as choir, band art or p.e. (I'm not sure why) If they received "straight A's" they earned a $100.00 bonus. My second daughter received straight A's for 4 straight years!! She earned every last penny. I don't start this until they are in high school. My younger two are in elementary school. When they get good grades, we go for ice cream. Is it the "correct" way? I'm not sure. But my husband did this with his niece many many years ago.She went from C's to A's. She is now working as a registered nurse, excelling in her field. She thanks my husband all the time for giving her the incentive to do well in school. So...it worked in that case. My "straight A" daughter just completed her first semester of college with, you guessed it, straight A's. (We didn't pay her, tuition costs enough :))
I wrote a blogpost about this just a bit ago.
My bribe recipient is out of college and doing great. so it certainly can't hurt!
http://moneychangesthings.blogspot.com/2008/02/bribing-your-kids-incentivized-learning.html
We only have a two-year old, so we have yet to have to make this decision. However, I excelled in school as a child and was not paid for it. My parents expected it of me because I was capable. They did not see the need to pay me for something that came naturally, but expressed (strongly) that they expected nothing less. For my siblings who didn't do as well, they were not punished for not doing as well because they were truly doing the best they could.
Was I paid for chores? No. Those were part of life around our house and you were expected to do them because you were able and you were part of the family and we all contributed. No questions asked.
I did get an allowance when I became "of age" (I think around 8 or 9) just to have money to spend. They used this to teach me how to manage my money. It was not a reward for doing anything that I was expected to do, but just what it sounds like...an allowance. It was, however, taken away as a punishment if I was not behaving. This way the money was both a teaching tool and something to hold over my head for behavioral purposes.
I like what my parents did. I think it worked well for us.
racerx, A little competition can be a good thing among siblings.
Sharon, your daughter sounds like a hard worker. I think hard working become successful adults.
bpt, congrats to you and your bribe recipient. I'll definitely check out your post.
Mrs. Nespy, it sounds like you had a lot of self motivation growing up. I'll bet your children will be very successful in school.
Thanks to all for your comments!
I think they should probably get good grades to learn and accomplish things and maybe it's not the best idea to pay for grades as it could certainly backfire.. They may expect to be paid for everything they do and not learn to be motivated by accomplishment, etc..
On the other hand.. as kids get older, they get sick of school and I think if it works, it works...
I wouldn't suggest starting them out young paying but as they get older and perhaps they get lazy... do whatever you gotta do :)
My two cents... :)
I work with teenagers and young people in education and believe me this is the worst strategy for kids! I makes parents feel good and it teaches kids a lot of really negative messages.
It is a short term solution that measures success by grades only. It sends a lot of wrong messages and sadly teaches kids that everything has a price.
There are so many other measures of success that have absolutely nothing to do with education and grades, sadly we are losing sight of that.
Louise, that's a good point.
I never believed in paying for grades. I wanted my boys to be "internally" motivated - rather than externally motivated when it came to education. I don't think you can MAKE a kid want to learn. I wanted them to get excited about the learning process itself - not because of the money carrot dangling at the end of the semester for good grades. I do believe in celebrating good academic performance with a special family meal, or maybe a special outing. But to me, that is more about bonding as a family over a family members success. It seemed to me, that when the boys made the effort and got a good grade, that made them FEEL really good - and they wanted to do it again. I don't know much - but I think we tend to throw material rewards at kids much too early in life and just set them up for issues down the road. Parenting is definitely tricky...
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