The old "didn't want to get my clothes greasy" line huh? Surprised that one wasn't successful.

And what's up with the Judge saying the wife-batter runs a good pub? Oh right, cause drinking is one of those things Judges are good at.

She'll be hungry again in two hours?

Where did I leave my keys?

"That's not chicken."

No that I agree with violence against anyone but I sort of feel worse for the guy than I do for his soon to be ex. Sure he did a terrible thing but he didn't go looking to beat his wife with a crickett bat but she sure as hell was looking to cheat.

"are there leftovers?"

She claimed to have stripped off so her clothes would not get greasy from the takeaway, Newport Crown Court heard.

Sounds reasonable.

She claimed to have stripped off so her clothes would not get greasy from the takeaway, and sticky sweaty sloppy sex Newport Crown Court heard.

Are you going to finish that Moo Shu Pork?

"When you said you wanted 69 I thought you meant broccoli beef"

"Are those wontons?"

So much bike water, so little time..

Avoid the eggroll.

props to the judge
"You clearly run a good pub. Everyone says so," Judge Denyer said.

Egoy: No that I agree with violence against anyone but I sort of feel worse for the guy than I do for his soon to be ex. Sure he did a terrible thing but he didn't go looking to beat his wife with a crickett bat but she sure as hell was looking to cheat.

I don't even think it was a proper cricket bat, more like a plastic one.

Let's just hope her wrinkly cheating whore ass doesn't get 1/2 of his bar in the divorce.

/She probably will.

FTFA: She claimed to have stripped off so her clothes would not get greasy from the takeaway, Newport Crown Court heard.


Farking.Brilliant!

Thanks, but I just came for the bike water reference.

I wonder of the Fortune Cookies said "You're going to get beaten with a cricket bat"?

Should have just claimed that beating his wife was part of his culture and the judge might have been lenient like that German one that said any man's wives in that culture should expect to be beaten.

"Are those crab rangoons?"

R.A.Danny: She'll be hungry horny again in two hours?

Fixed that for ya.

GungFu: FTFA: She claimed to have stripped off so her clothes would not get greasy from the takeaway, Newport Crown Court heard.

There was a tiny flaw in the plan. It was bollocks.

Where's the nearest balcony?

She claimed to have stripped off so her clothes would not get greasy from the takeaway, Newport Crown Court heard.

I guess that's as good of an excuse as any

Kar98: GungFu: FTFA: She claimed to have stripped off so her clothes would not get greasy from the takeaway, Newport Crown Court heard.

There was a tiny flaw in the plan. It was bollocks.


Wow, you don't farkin' say. Really?

Yeah, it's called "take-out", not "take-away." Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ.

Afternoon delights, spare towel, lame alibis for obvious adultery, plastic bats to the face, and a judge finding mitigating circumstances because the assailant "runs a good pub."

With that, you also get egg roll.

This article is choc full of all kinds of win.

FTFA: She claimed to have stripped off so her clothes would not get greasy from the takeaway, Newport Crown Court heard.


Ok thats now in the front running for stupidest excuse trying to justify your actions.

Its just beating out the "I didnt inhale, its from the kids blazin on the bus" bus driver.

Unfreakable: "When you said you wanted 69 I thought you meant broccoli beef"

I LOL'd!

That sure is a strange looking sweet and sour sauce.

Dufus: That sure is a strange looking sweet and sour sauce.

Maybe it was hot creamy mustard instead?

But did she get her fill of oyster sauce?

bheilig: Yeah, it's called "take-out", not "take-away." Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ.

Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays "I hate the UK"

Here's a translator, dipshiat. (new window)

She claimed to have stripped off so her clothes would not get greasy from the takeaway, Newport Crown Court heard.

A lying and cheating biatch. What a catch.

I wonder if the guy got more leniency from the judge because he ran a good pub or because the victim stood up on her hind feet looked the judge in the eye and lied to him like he was her husband?

bheilig: Yeah, it's called "take-out", not "take-away." Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ.

Do you get this upset during the pop/soda debates too?

Tenderising a woman with a cricket bat? That's just Welsh romance.

AngryTeacher: bheilig: Yeah, it's called "take-out", not "take-away." Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ.

Do you get this upset during the pop/soda debates too?

Every time my wife says something like, "I'm going to get some take-away", my instant reaction without even thinking about it is, "Take away where?"

Think about it.

My wife loves Chinese food. She might resort to prostitution to get it if I didn't leave her any money.

Would you like to taste my smoked meat log?

YouPeopleAreCrazy: jayday

Its just beating out the "I didnt inhale, its from the kids blazin on the bus" bus driver former president.

Burning Question: Did Hillary inhale?

Is that cream of som yong gai?

This pork taste fishy.