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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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With the judgment of the angels and the sentence of the saints, we anathematize, execrate, curse and cast out Baruch de Spinoza, the whole of the sacred community assenting, in presence of the sacred books with the six hundred and thirteen precepts written therein, pronouncing against him the malediction wherewith Elisha cursed the children, and all the maledictions written in the Book of the Law. /…/ Let him be accursed by day, and accursed by night; let him be accursed in his lying down, and accursed in his rising up; accursed in going out and accursed in coming in. May the Lord never more pardon or acknowledge him; may the wrath and displeasure of the Lord burn henceforth against this man, load him with all the curses written in the Book of the Law, and blot out his name from under the sky.
[excommunication of Spinoza, 27 July 1656, quoted by Will Durant in The Story of Philosophy; also George Seldes, The Great Quotations, 1983]
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Category: Humor
Posted on: May 8, 2008 11:42 AM, by PZ Myers
So Jason Rosenhouse finally gets tenure (entirely on the basis of his craven obedience to the bidding of the jack-booted atheist thugs of academia, of course…) and then what happens? He reveals the man behind the mask. We've been played.
Most tenure contracts have some kind of 'moral turpitude' clause so you can still get rid of criminals, dangerous lunatics, and disgusting creeps. Does being openly religious qualify?
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Comments
Bound to happen. When you have opressive cultures of any kind people resort to underground and infiltration tactics. Have to do it myself. Hide the southern accent. Act like those that are not white males are the best things since sliced bread. Yep. Yep. Play the game if you want a job.
I belong to the Darwinists but do see the opressiveness of both sides.
Posted by: weeks | May 8, 2008 11:50 AM
Yes, did you infidels and evilutionists think that someone wouldn't finally catch on to your little game, think things through, and come out in favor of the designer after getting tenure?
It's tough sitting through all of the propaganda about "evidence" and "correlations" between related organisms, when all it takes is one look to see design. But I knew that Jason could pull it off.
Expelled was right, suppression alone keeps people like Jason spouting the inanities of science, that killing force which Ben Stein so ably exposed. I just can't figure out how it is that so many tenured professors still refuse to blow the lid on that religion, Darwinism...
Must be the terror and intimidation that they go through prior to tenure. Maybe Jason's courageous stand will allow the thousands of biologists chafing under the Darwinist yoke to finally reveal themselves, and truth will finally prevail. You know it's going to happen eventually, why not now?
Glen Davidson
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Posted by: Glen Davidson | May 8, 2008 11:56 AM
Shit.
Oh well.
Posted by: Bobby | May 8, 2008 11:56 AM
That was a parody, right?
Posted by: Cyrus | May 8, 2008 11:58 AM
weeks, "Have to do it myself. Hide the southern accent." Just like Senator John Edwards.
Posted by: bernarda | May 8, 2008 11:58 AM
Okay, so he's a professor of mathematics. How does this involve religion or Darwin?!? Mathematics is a pure science, based on proofs and such. If he starts to teach how Jesus can be found in differential equations, then I'd worry. It sounds like he's believing he was hounded all along, but I would guess it's all in his mind, just like his religious beliefs. He's educated, but he's still a moron.
Posted by: Man of Science | May 8, 2008 11:59 AM
Really? In France, the joke goes, once you're tenured you can only be fired if you kill your boss, his wife, and their children.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | May 8, 2008 11:59 AM
I'm going to go out on a very long limb here and declare Poe. :)
Posted by: Leigh Shryock | May 8, 2008 12:01 PM
Out of seven commentators, three have overlooked the "humor" tag and failed to read the joke itself? It makes me weep.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | May 8, 2008 12:01 PM
Is that a spoof or something?
No *really,* I can't tell. I looked at his blog... evil Darwinists, etc... Is that guy for real?
Ollie
Posted by: Olliedog | May 8, 2008 12:03 PM
So what are you waiting for, PZ? Terminate him using the microchip implanted when he got his childhood inoculations. You know, the chip from the project we code-named 'Mark of the Beast'.
Ha ha, those Xians could never have foreseen our nefarious plan to destroy morality, since 'Mark of the Beast' was probably never been mentioned in the Bible (which we can't possibly have read, since we'd all be Xians if we had).
Now, on another topic, does anyone know what's going on with the Western Canada fossil supplier? I'm supposed to be seeding the Horseshoe Canyon formation with fakes before the school year ends and the 'science' camps start, but my latest shipment is missing the coded sheets that tell you how many 'millions' of years ago these fossils are supposed to have been 'radiometrically dated' to.
Posted by: Brownian, OM | May 8, 2008 12:03 PM
Damn Leigh, you beat me to it. I was gonna call Poe on it. Either that or an awesome Socal wannabe ....
....or a complete muppet.
Posted by: Ric Ford | May 8, 2008 12:04 PM
bernarda:
Edwards is not an academic. He is elected by those others than effete snobs.
Posted by: weeks | May 8, 2008 12:05 PM
One of the lasting effects of the whole "Beware the Believers" saga is that, in moments like this, part of the sound from the second video runs through my head. I blame the catchy funny voice.
"Hang on, what's this now? Hang on- wait a second. OH NOES*. No, don't you do it to me don't do it to me- (SLAM) D'OH!"
*Yeah, ok, so the *video* doesn't add the 's', but my brain does. And sometimes when I say OH NOES out loud, I add the accent, although no one I know gets the reference. Like I said, it's catchy.
Posted by: Falyne | May 8, 2008 12:06 PM
I'm not familiar with Jason Rosenhouse so I am having a hard time telling if his post is a parody or not. PZ's 'humor' tag helps, but I'm not sure it's enough. If only there was a law for this kind of confusion...
Posted by: RWHouchin | May 8, 2008 12:06 PM
I really can't tell if its a spoof or not. Seriously.
Posted by: VirgilsEgo | May 8, 2008 12:06 PM
And of course, mathematicians can do all of those numbery things that biologists can't do. You know, no free lunch, counting up the changes that have to occur between a cow and a whale (one almost wonders if Berlinski is a deep mole on the side of EVIL sometimes, then he gets all supercilious again, and we know it's just him), calculating irreducible complexity.
You're in for it now, Jason's out of the closet, and he has a calculator. All of those biologists who don't know what a number is will soon find out, don't you worry about that!
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Posted by: Glen Davidson | May 8, 2008 12:07 PM
Seriously, to all who are wondering, this is definitely a spoof. Surely this is not believable (from the link):
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Posted by: Glen Davidson | May 8, 2008 12:09 PM
"Get back to me after ten years of study, and then you will have earned the right to comprehend my brilliance."
That man is absolutely full of himself. Can't say that this ego doesn't fit the caricature of a hardcore creationist, though.
Posted by: Fred | May 8, 2008 12:10 PM
Houchin's Law?
Posted by: blf | May 8, 2008 12:11 PM
I have no problem with someone being openly religious as long as they don't preach that theirs is the One True Religion™, and that we must throw people who teach evolution in jail or execute people who perform abortions.
You can't stop people from believing irrational crap. You can certainly annoy them by arguing with them. Being confronted by facts, evidence, and logical arguments will really piss them off.
Treating God as a metaphor is OK (and does not exist beyond the confines of your skull). Treating God as some all powerful angry white guy who will cast you into the fiery pits for not giving money to His anointed televangelists is not.
Posted by: Chris | May 8, 2008 12:11 PM
Even if it is a spoof it does show some elements of truth in what one would have to do to survive in academia as a creationist.
Creationism is bunk to me. But Ben Stein is right. Academics are oppressive.
Posted by: weeks | May 8, 2008 12:13 PM
"...chafing under the Darwinist yoke"
That really is priceless Glen. Keep up the good work!
Posted by: Jeremy | May 8, 2008 12:14 PM
If he were pulling a 'Poe' wouldn't he have put a little smiley to let us know.
Either way, it should make for amusing reading the next few days.
Posted by: No One of Consequence | May 8, 2008 12:14 PM
#22: "Academics are oppressive."
...of bad ideas, and by oppress, I mean criticize.
Posted by: Jason Failes | May 8, 2008 12:19 PM
Oh boy. I mean, when we start getting suckered by our own spoofs we're in real trouble!
Posted by: DSKS | May 8, 2008 12:20 PM
Wait until the cdesign proponentists take him seriously and start quote mining him. You won't be laughing then.
Posted by: Elf Eye | May 8, 2008 12:20 PM
I particularly enjoyed the darwinian octopus has it's tentacles entrenched bit... hmmm... cephalopods...hmmm....
Posted by: ishmael9913 | May 8, 2008 12:24 PM
LoL
LMAO! :-)
Posted by: S. Scott | May 8, 2008 12:24 PM
Poes law hurts my brain. I figured the original post for a spoof, but some of the comments on this thread are pushing my ability to call it...
Posted by: Confused | May 8, 2008 12:27 PM
I did some poking around on Jason's website to see if this was, indeed, some kind of spoof/hoax/joke.
http://www.math.jmu.edu/~rosenhjd/Research.html
As far as I can tell, it seems to be a spoof.
Posted by: Matt D | May 8, 2008 12:28 PM
I've been highly suspicious of him ever since he admitted to enjoying a talk by Berlinski.
Posted by: pough | May 8, 2008 12:29 PM
I really can't tell if its a spoof or not.
*whap whap whap whap*
Posted by: Cheezits | May 8, 2008 12:31 PM
I have a PH goddamn D!
But not in biology!
--Bob O'H comment
Posted by: blf | May 8, 2008 12:32 PM
DUH!!! Wake the $&#@% up!
It's a spoof, through and through. Rosenhouse is brilliant.
Posted by: Rob | May 8, 2008 12:36 PM
The parody! It burns!
Posted by: Christopher Waldrop | May 8, 2008 12:38 PM
Hurray! Congrats Jason!
(Humour, people, humour. Yeesh.)
Posted by: Avekid | May 8, 2008 12:44 PM
It's definitely a spoof, this part is a direct Jonathan Wells quote...
Great satire though, considering how many people were fooled.
Posted by: JCG | May 8, 2008 12:44 PM
Most tenure contracts have some kind of 'moral turpitude' clause so you can still get rid of criminals, dangerous lunatics, and disgusting creeps. Does being openly religious qualify?
Talk like that just fuels their fires man.
Hearing you say that almost makes me believe there's some truth to Expelled.
Posted by: AJ Hawks | May 8, 2008 12:45 PM
PZ didn't help things by writing his own post up so deadpan.
Since I wasn't familiar with Dr. Rosenhouse, I thought at first that this was legit. Well, actually, I thought "What?! This has got to be a joke."
Then I did additional research, e.g. I read Rosenhouse's post.
Posted by: CarrieP | May 8, 2008 12:45 PM
See what I meant over in the Portland thread when I said the public reaction was part of the art?
;^)
Posted by: Bill Dauphin | May 8, 2008 12:47 PM
If this really is "Poe", let it be used as the best illustration in every skeptics text book.
Posted by: G Lloyd | May 8, 2008 12:47 PM
Nothing tops the Norma Lee original, "Ask Jesus (to come set on your heart)"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajbUTTmIqWo
Posted by: Mike | May 8, 2008 12:48 PM
Does this mean he goes to heaven now that he has repented for eating all of those babies?
Posted by: firemancarl | May 8, 2008 12:52 PM
"comprehend my brilliance"
whatever happened to:
"Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty look before a fall" ?
What a hypocrite, what a surprise.
Posted by: Fred Nurke | May 8, 2008 12:52 PM
Jason Rosenhouse (if that's even his real name) must be stopped before he blows the lid on our nefarious agenda of polluting mythology with reality.
I suggest we feed him only enough information to make him look foolish and paranoid as we have with the others. If word gets out that they're actually onto something and people start listening, we're in huge trouble. Dare I say, society could even collapse.
Posted by: Dan | May 8, 2008 12:53 PM
Ignore this scum covering for Rosenhouse. They're plants. That wasn't satire. We must be vigilant. Hold the line. Hold the line!
Posted by: Jams | May 8, 2008 12:53 PM
If he can just maintain the spoof long enough to grab the Templeton Prize...
Posted by: Don | May 8, 2008 12:56 PM
...and I suppose the fact that PZ filed this under humor was suppose to be a clue as well.*
* I call Poe's law on all the people who claim that they couldn't tell it's a spoof and on all the people who think that the people who claim they couldn't tell it was a spoof really couldn't tell it was a spoof...errr... or something like that.
Posted by: No One of Consequence | May 8, 2008 12:56 PM
That's just what they want you to think!
Posted by: Dan | May 8, 2008 12:59 PM
The real reason it is difficult to tell Jason's parody from reality is that there has been a steady parade of lies, deliberate misrepresentations, and disingenuous speech and behavior from the creo-ID crowd. The "stealthy" tactics of the producers and proponents of Expelled represent the culmination of these efforts--and they revel in their deceptions. But here is a problem with the practice of lying--it corrupts one character absolutely, so that in the end the distinction between lies and truth becomes irrelevant, and at that point anything is possible.
Posted by: hje | May 8, 2008 1:05 PM
weeks:
I belong to the Darwinists but do see the opressiveness [sic] of both sides...
Edwards is not an academic. He is elected by those others than effete snobs...
Creationism is bunk to me. But Ben Stein is right. Academics are oppressive.
Thank you for your concern...
...trolling, that is.
Make an argument or fuck off, you fraudulent asshole.
Posted by: s1mplex | May 8, 2008 1:07 PM
Brownian!
You forgot to close the /evil_atheist_secret_communication tags! Noooooooooooo! That message went out unencrypted over teh intertubes!
Posted by: Schmeer | May 8, 2008 1:08 PM
You want to call Poe's Law on this...but it's apparently real:
Jesus in Mickey D's
Posted by: J Daley | May 8, 2008 1:08 PM
Vercotti: Darwinists... (takes a drink) Well, I was terrified. Everyone was terrified of Darwinists. I've seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than debate them. Even Ben Stein is frightened of Dawrinists.
2nd Interviewer: What do they do?
Vercotti: They use... sarcasm. They know all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire. They're vicious.
Posted by: Rey Fox | May 8, 2008 1:09 PM
The W3C really needs to get cranking on standardizing the <sarcasm> tag, apparently some people need all the help they can get.
Posted by: K. Signal Eingang | May 8, 2008 1:22 PM
metaPoe.
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | May 8, 2008 1:23 PM
David at #9
"Out of seven commentators, three have overlooked the "humor" tag and failed to read the joke itself? It makes me weep."
Boy was your comment premature.
Listen everyone, IMHO I think it's very safe to say that this is sarcasm/humor. The tag, PZs comments, and then the ridiculous post itself screams sarcasm.
Posted by: Alex | May 8, 2008 1:23 PM
#55
DINSDALE!!!
Posted by: Spiny Norman | May 8, 2008 1:24 PM
DINSDALE!!!
Posted by: Sloan | May 8, 2008 1:25 PM
Wait! Stop! If another person reading this bolg reads this in Jason's original post:
"Make a graph whose vertices are all possible genotypes with two vertices connected if they are one mutational step away from each other. That graph is isomorphic to a Cayley graph of a certain matrix group with respect to a standard generating set. (Surely that's obvious?)..."
and does not recognize it immediately for what it is, I will engage my own tunicate genes. Having my brain digested is the only way to deal with this level of credulity. How is it people have become so irony deficient?
Posted by: Arrowsmith | May 8, 2008 1:26 PM
The real reason it is difficult to tell Jason's parody from reality is that there has been a steady parade of lies, deliberate misrepresentations, and disingenuous speech and behavior from the creo-ID crowd.
No, the real reason that it is difficult to tell Jason's parody from reality is that PZ has been consistently ramping up the anti-religious rhetoric and attracting a crowd here for their daily two minutes hate. Such a crowd is easily led, and when PZ's rhetoric rather neatly tied into his usual fare--it really says something that calling for the firing of any religious professors with tenure is called "deadpan" in this context--they couldn't get a read on what their leader was thinking, so they went by appearances and started lobbing insults here and on Dr. Rosenhouse's blog.
In short, this is what you get when reading the Little Green Footballs of the scienceblogs domain.
Posted by: Nullifidian | May 8, 2008 1:30 PM
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | May 8, 2008 1:37 PM
Of course. PZ knew that Rosenhouse was about to get tenure, and he suspected that that once the mathematician felt he was safe, he would pull off his Darwinist mask (hey, PZ has "tentacles" listening in lots of places). So, for the past several weeks, P-Zed did his job as Evilutionary Superscientist, pulling in the angry crowds with lurid stories and cheap shots guaranteed to provoke discussion. . . all so that his unwitting legion would be ready and eager to march upon the defector!
Geez, it's like people forget that the Evil Atheist Conspiracy is, you know, a conspiracy.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | May 8, 2008 1:48 PM
Was it really a surprise...?
Posted by: Mohamed | May 8, 2008 1:51 PM
I think the phrase is "air of plausibility." Pretty sad that something so dumb would sound plausible.
Posted by: Pablo | May 8, 2008 1:53 PM
Look, you guys are framing this all wrong.
Remember, the first weekend doesn't matter. This is only a serious problem if the number of people confused by it has doubled, at least, by the end of the _second_ weekend.
And if they do stay fooled, I hope he's got a tip jar open and has warned his departmental secretary to be expecting grant offers from, er, unfamiliar sponsoring organizations for his research.
Posted by: Hank Roberts | May 8, 2008 1:56 PM
PZ wrote: "He reveals the man behind the mask. We've been played."
Ah, we must crush him! Everyone, it is time to break out the deadliest and most fearsome weapon in our arsenal: set your "snark-o-trons" to "sarcastic" and "biting"! :)
Posted by: gg | May 8, 2008 1:56 PM
PROOF THAT JASON IS JOKING:
To convincingly mask one's view requires mental sophistication and self-restraint.
No creationist has either mental sophistication or self-restraint.
Therefore, no creationist can convincingly mask his view.
Suppose Jason has been convincingly masking his view. Suppose also that he is a creationist. Contradiction. One or both of the assumptions is false. Either Jason is not a creationist or (equivalently) he has not been masking his pro-science views.
Therefore, Jason is just pulling a publicity stunt. QED
Posted by: Joe Lapp | May 8, 2008 1:57 PM
Yeah. I blame Guillermo Gonzalez and Marcus Ross, among others.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | May 8, 2008 1:57 PM
This is honestly one of the best displays of Poe's Law I've ever seen. Well done...I think.
Posted by: Mac Wilson | May 8, 2008 1:59 PM
Wow. This is some of the most infuriatingly hilarious commentary on a post I have ever seen. Come on, people...it's actually very funny, and if you keep on not getting it, you're going to make me squirt milk out of my nose. Or blow a vein in my eye.
Posted by: Ryan Egesdahl | May 8, 2008 2:04 PM
The real question is, does Poe's law say more about the creationists, or about evolutionists?
I mean, it could mean that evolutionists have stereotyped creationists so much that they can't....
Oh, who am I kidding? YECs are such wackaloons that you just can't tell truth from fiction.
Posted by: Egaeus | May 8, 2008 2:08 PM
Parody? On a science blog? On the Internet? Wait! The Internet!?! They have that on computers now?
I fear that even all the empathy and experience of Etha will not be enough... We aren't gonna make it.
Posted by: ennui | May 8, 2008 2:12 PM
Clearly, the internet is serious business.
I don't know which is funnier: The people believing Jason's sincere, or the people bitching about the people believing Jason's sincere.
I think Jason Rosenhouse needs a cookie.
Posted by: Dan | May 8, 2008 2:17 PM
At least he's in Mathematics. It'll be hard for him to introduce Intelligent Addition to the literature.
Posted by: Josh West | May 8, 2008 2:17 PM
These attempts to grant Rosenhouse an air of plausible deniability are not to be taken seriously. We have been watching Rosenhouse for some time now, and are more than aware of his "tendencies".
Do not be fooled. This is the real deal.
Posted by: Jams | May 8, 2008 2:18 PM
Um, folks, if you read some of his other posts and links, it is clear that he is not on the side of creationists. This was a parody. Poe's Law strikes again.
Posted by: TheWireMonkey | May 8, 2008 2:22 PM
If he can just maintain the spoof long enough to grab the Templeton Prize...
Now that would be some freakin' awesome Sokaling.
Posted by: AJ Milne | May 8, 2008 2:24 PM
those skeptics. they'll believe anything.
Posted by: evildoer | May 8, 2008 2:25 PM
Chris: "What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?"
Alyssa: "We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people."
Chris: "I don't know why, but I feel safer already. "
Posted by: Mohamed | May 8, 2008 2:27 PM
Has anyone seen this guy EVER eat any babies? Hmmmm...
Posted by: Alex | May 8, 2008 2:27 PM
There is only one way to settle this: Subject Rosenhouse to the Voight-Kampff test!
New glossary:
PseudoPoe: Mock fundamentalism is actually crypto-fundamentalism disguising itself with the sheepskin of irony.
HyperPoe: People denouncing Rosenhouse are 'indignation Poes' pretending to be outraged but are really in on the joke.
PseudoHyperPoe: Alternatively, Rosenhouse denouncers are actually pro-fundamentalist accomplices attempting to make anti-creationists look bad, part of the deceptive faux-mockery of fundamentalism.
Poe will eat itself.
Posted by: Colugo | May 8, 2008 2:31 PM
it's not a spoof! he is really an anti-darwinist! here is the mathematical proof!
first take the ascii values of the letters in "jason rosenhouse" then substract 32 to convert each to the uppercase ascii value. then convert those to hex, then into binary and back to decimal. now raise e to the natural log of each value and convert *those* values back to the letter each represents in ascii. if you write out the letters in reverse order they spell:
"WWFSMD?"
Posted by: rob | May 8, 2008 2:32 PM
"You are walking along the seashore and you see a tiktaalik—"
"What's a tiktaalik?"
"Ever see a half-amphibian, half-fish?"
"Of course."
"Same thing. You reach down and flip the tiktaalik on its back. . ."
Later:
"You're reading a magazine, when you come across a full-page nude photograph of William Dembski. . . ."
Posted by: Blake Stacey | May 8, 2008 2:35 PM
The World Wide Federation to Smite Modern Darwinists.
Yes. It all falls into place.
Posted by: Jams | May 8, 2008 2:36 PM
Ha ha! You fools! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a PZ when Poe is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
Posted by: V | May 8, 2008 2:44 PM
Here's a great opportunity to remind ourselves to minimize our dependence on authority (even if the authority is Jason). I know it's impossible to avoid a complete dependence on authority of all kinds, especially if you're an ignorant lay son-of-a-Chiropractor like myself.
I say laugh along, regardless of whatever side Jason is "really" on. Clearly he has provided skeptics with plenty to laugh about!
We are entertained.
Posted by: Dan Jensen | May 8, 2008 2:48 PM
#87
Truly you have a dizzying intellect.
Posted by: Alex | May 8, 2008 2:51 PM
Whatever you do, don't ask him about his mother!
The last guy to do a Voigt-Kampff on one of these Nexus 6 creationists got a hole blown in his guts for his troubles.
That's why they brought me in. To retire him.
Posted by: PZ Myers | May 8, 2008 2:53 PM
#85
Is this testing whether I'm a creationist, or an IDiotsexual, Mr. Deckard?
Posted by: James F | May 8, 2008 2:53 PM
PZ (#90),
Yeah, we know the score. If you're not professor, you're little people.
But the last time we met face-to-face, at those moments when the light was just right, I saw a definite red glint in your eye, PZ. That Voight-Kampff test of yours. . . have you ever taken it yourself?
Posted by: Blake Stacey | May 8, 2008 2:59 PM
What? Have I shown a lack of empathy for my fellow (purportedly) man? Are you afraid I might go all Batty on you?
Posted by: PZ Myers | May 8, 2008 3:06 PM
@#74 ennui --
No! My empathy for those who have been misled by satire, combined with my experience at recognizing satire...
Aw fuck, you're right. It's officially the end of teh internetz. Well, it's been fun, guys....*waits for technoRapture*
Posted by: Etha Williams | May 8, 2008 3:07 PM
Come on, people...it's actually very funny, and if you keep on not getting it, you're going to make me squirt milk out of my nose.
Now *that* would be funny.
Posted by: Cheezits | May 8, 2008 3:10 PM
Etha,
Are only 144,000 people going to be techno-raptured or will it be many orders of magnitude greater than that?
Tell me! I want to believe!
Posted by: Doodle Bean | May 8, 2008 3:24 PM
PZ wrote: "Are you afraid I might go all Batty on you?"
Personally, all I know is this: if I'm in the room and you suddenly say, "Let me tell you about my mother," I'm hitting the deck...
Posted by: gg | May 8, 2008 3:25 PM
@ #83, #85:
Hahahahahaha!
That is all.
Posted by: Escuerd | May 8, 2008 3:28 PM
Hahaha, it really is a sad day when this can be confused with anything other than parody, but Poe's law will never cease to surprise us, I guess.
Posted by: Santiago | May 8, 2008 3:39 PM
1858 AD: Darwin's friend Charles Babbage constructs an Analytical Engine - purportedly designed to be a mere computer, but which is in fact a time machine (and uncannily resembles an early 21st Century talk show desk).
4004 BC: Darwin travels back in time to the Rift Valley of East Africa (AKA the Garden of Eden) to end the tyranny of the Demiurge by giving Mitochondrial Eve and Y Chromosome Adam the gift of Science, bringing Dust into our world and creating a paradoxical time loop. In doing so, Darwin becomes the archetype for Lucifer/Prometheus, the deity worshiped by all later scientists.
33 AD: On the way back to his own time to commit his ultimate blasphemy against God (publishing The Origin), Darwin pierces the crucified Christ's side with a gear stick of the Analytical Engine in order to ensure that He does not reinstate His father's reign of primordial ignorance. However, the nano-meds provided by Christ's father Jor-El (the Demiurge) regenerate His tissues within three days. Christ swears revenge on Darwin, constructing a ceramic transistor android which is prog