Heather at the Extraordinary Ordinary has been examining the experience of being a mom on her blog recently. She has become tired of focusing on her failures as a mom and instead wants to focus on her successes. She has invited her readers to join her by writing a list of all the things they are doing right as a mom. Here's my (rather random) list.
Nutrition - I work hard to ensure my family is eating a healthy, balanced diet most of the time, but I also allow us a treat, or an easy meal every so often.
Relationship with God - I have recognized that a knowledge of God is innate and just needs to be guided in order for it to flourish. I try to encourage my kids to see God's hand in everything.
Health - Being a nurse can often make me a really bad mommy, so I consciously make an effort to just be a mommy to my kids. I don't freak out about germs, or every little symptom. It means that I give my doctor mommy answers instead of nurse answers, but it keeps me from worrying about everything.
Instinct - I seek out good information about parenting, children's products, behaviour etc., but at the end of the day, I trust my instinct with my kids. I'm planning another post about how I have trusted my instinct with encouraging independence in my daughter and now it is paying off.
Daddy - I recognize that his role is different than mine and respect that he'll do things differently than I do, and that's ok.
Routines - I have never tried to force a routine or schedule on my children. Instead, I have developed and adapted routines based on their needs. I defend their routines when I can see that they need the security, and let the routines slide every so often so that they can adapt to changing situations, but only when I know they can handle it.
Education - I try to teach based on what my kids are interested in, not just based on what I want my kids to know. I have another post brewing about this one. I also try most of all to teach by example.
Safety - I make my kids safety a top priority. I refuse to compromise on car seat safety, crib safety, household safety. I never let convenience come ahead of their safety.
Popcorn - I make the best darn popcorn in the world (or so I've been told).
Self-control - I maintain an incredible level of self-control, even when I'm sleep-deprived, frustrated, haven't-had-a-break-in-weeks-about-to-go-crazy. Sometimes I yell, but lots of times I don't yell when I really want to. And when I feel like I might lose control and hurt them, I make sure they are safe and take a few minutes to calm myself.
Discipline - I make an effort to understand the reason behind my kids' behaviour so that I can guide them appropriately. I have learned to discipline only when I am calm, which often means my daughter gets a time out first, while I talk to God about what I need to do to correct her behaviour.
Honesty - I try to be really honest and open with other moms about my experience of being a mom. Mommying can be a really lonely job and we need each other to commiserate together and to encourage each other.
That's all I've got for now. And if you are thinking I'm patting myself on my back a little too much here, I've got a list 10 times as long in my head about what I'm doing wrong. But focusing on that one isn't going to make me a better mommy, now is it?
I absolutely love your list! Thank you for joining in.
ReplyDeleteI love what you said about realizing your kids have a knowledge of God that is innate. I need to remember that more. I tend to get worried I'm not talking about Him enough...that's silly.
I also like the one about teaching toward their natural interests rather than what they "should" be learning.
You're a great mom, lady!
Great list Peanut. You really are doing a great job (even though sometimes it probably doesn't feel like it). I was thinking about this post and what I do right. It seems so difficult to come up with that list, why is that? I have to think about that some more. I agree with you and Heather, we need to focus a bit more on what we are doing right (but still wanting to improve on what we do wrong) and cut ourselves some slack. None of us are trained to be parents, there is no school you can go to and no one manual to read. We are learning as we go and trusting your instincts (give by God) and listening to your kids and praying for guidance is really all we can do! We leave them in God's hands and do the best we can. Thanks for this post, makes me feel like I know you more.
ReplyDeletePeanut, you are an awesome Mom! When these basic things are right, it matters much less about what you do wrong as a parent because the wee-nuts have a solid foundation of love and care from you and will focus less on the mistakes and learn from them along with you.
ReplyDeleteEven as a non-parent, I recognize that you moms' have THE HARDEST JOB, that thankfully comes with awesome rewards.
Keep remembering all these good things you are doing for the wee-nuts.
Emily
Encouragingly written! It's so refreshing to see something positive these days!
ReplyDeleteTaht is a pretty great list of all you are doing right. I would be proud of that and not worry about what you might do wrong. We all do things wrong as parents but no one gave me a guide book so I am making it up as I go.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!