Photo courtesy of kwerfeldein Random Acts of Kindness: A Social Site I’d Love to See
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” - Dalai Lama
I don’t think anything like this exists yet, so if you’re looking for an idea for a website/service, I’ve got one for you:
Random Acts of Kindness: A Social Site to Create Happiness
This site would be a way to do nice things for other people, and get rewarded for it.
Here’s how I envision it working:
- Each user has a profile, with a pic and the usual profile info …
- But in addition to that info, they’d also create a list of things that other people can do for them that would be kind … it could include a wish-list of gifts, but beyond buying stuff people could leave a nice comment, make a small donation, donate to a favorite charity, send them a good used book, leave a comment on their blog, link to their blog, etc etc.
- Users can go to other people’s pages to find something kind to do, and do them! The more you do, the more karma points you get. Your karma points are featured prominently on your user page.
- When someone does something nice for you, you’ll get notified, and will have a chance to send a thank you note. There should also be a Gratitude Shout-out page, so you can publicly thank people for particularly nice deeds. And you can be grateful for anything on this page, not just for things people do on the site.
- The people with the highest karma get listed — maybe the top 100 or something. Because they’re featured, these people are more likely to have other users go to their pages, and probably do something nice for them.
- Maybe if you get enough karma points, you get a reward of some kind. A raffle drawing each week? I dunno.
So what’s the point of such a site? It promotes kindness to strangers. It makes you feel good to do something nice for someone else, and thus makes you a little happier. It helps you to remember to be grateful. It’s certainly a lot better than some social sites where people trash each other all the live-long day.
I don’t know if anyone will ever create such a site, but I’d love to see it. How about you?
—
- Posted on 29 August 2008 in Happiness |
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Comments (210)
Corey - Simple Marriage Project Says:
August 29th, 2008, 23:45 pm
I’m in. When do you want to start?
Outdoorgrrl Says:
August 29th, 2008, 23:55 pm
I’m so in! As someone who wants to be able to do something nice, though, I should be able to search for a specific need. Say, I’m good at cooking…I should be able to search for someone near me who needs some meals cooked for their family occasionally. Or, if I’m good at tax prep, I should be able to search to find someone who needs help with taxes. That would be more efficient than looking at profiles and allow me to help more people.
MikeWhobikes Says:
August 29th, 2008, 23:58 pm
Sounds like a brilliant idea, Leo. Although if you do something in order to gain credits, recognition, reciprocal favours, etc. does that really count as kindness? At the very least it would be an interesting experiment to see how people make use of it.
pablo Says:
August 29th, 2008, 23:58 pm
Doesn’t that pretty much take away the point of doing something nice for someone as a genuine act and turn it into a scorecard of “look how nice a person I am”.
Leo Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:00 am
@Corey: I wasn’t actually planning on doing it myself. :) But I’d be willing to help. Also, if someone creates this site, not only will I feature it in a post, but they’ll have a permanent banner in my sidebar.
Does anyone know of a good social site engine that could be used? Something cool-looking, like this: http://www.dailymile.com?
@Outdoorgrrl: That’s an excellent idea!
I was also thinking that the site could have badges for people’s blogs or email — something like, “Wanna do something nice for me?” and then link to their user page.
Leo Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:01 am
@MikeWhobikes and pablo: It’s a good question … I think you should be able to do the acts without getting credit if you like … but I like the idea of a site that makes it a socially good thing to do kind acts to strangers.
Leo Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:03 am
Also, one selfish motivation is that I would like to put my wish list out there so that anyone who feels like being nice to me can buy me something. ;)
Allison Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:05 am
I’m intrigued. It sounds like something I might sign up for - I think kindness appears in many different forms & this could very well be one of them.
janehatesdick Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:06 am
I think it’s a great idea! Anything that promotes kindness in a fun and joyful way could only be a good thing, in my opinion. I would definitely participate if someone gets this going.
Miles Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:08 am
Isn’t Help Others.org something like this already? No rewards, but the same concept it seems. HelpOthers.org.
Keep up the great work!
Derek Ralston Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:10 am
Great idea Leo- but I wonder how many people would join such as site just to do acts of kindness? I think it might be more effective as a plugin for an existing social network such as Facebook. Although if you make it easy for bloggers to link to their profile from it (ex. “If you enjoy this blog, here are ways you can help me out”), that might get other non-bloggers to sign up also.
As for @MikeWhobikes’s comment, I also agree that it should be optional to take credit for doing the act of kindness (allow anonymous acts of kindness).
Leo Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:15 am
@Miles: That’s a cool site! I didn’t know about it. It’s not exactly what I was thinking about, but not bad!
@coke: That’s very close! Except it’s more needs than kindness, but pretty much along the lines of what I was thinking. Also, every profile I found was in spanish!
@Derek: You might be right. I would join, but I don’t know how many others would. Maybe a Facebook app would be better. Still, I’d love if it were an entire site.
Clark Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:18 am
What a great idea.
My writing on my site(s) had been getting spotty lately, but this really piques my interest. I would start doing this asap. Any suggestions?
Also, I see integration with Facebook as an option, myself.
Mayur Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:20 am
Hi Leo,
I’ve been reading your work for some time now. And it has helped me a lot. I think its the time to give something back. I am an enterprise java developer (that is, a kind of web developer) and I think that I can do this easily. I will let you know my plan soon.
Leo Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:25 am
You guys are great. :)
If any of you would like to get together to work on this, you can contact me and I’ll try to connect you. I won’t give out your email without your permission, but I can contact you to see if you’d like to connect with others who’ve contacted me.
Please send an email to zenhabits [at] gmail [dot] com, with the word “randomkindness” in the subject line. One word. If it doesn’t have that word, I won’t see it very soon.
Hazel Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:27 am
The Greater Good Science center is the website you’re talking about. It’s at http://peacecenter.berkeley.edu/
I also love the Greater Good Magazine which is full of research based articles on happiness, compassion, and all the good stuff that make life wonderful. See http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/greatergood/archive/2004springsummer/ for their magazine dedicated to the topic of compassion
April Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:31 am
Check http://www.wishuponahero.com
I’ve granted wishes there and made my own requests as well.
Mike Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:40 am
I like the idea, I was inspired myself to create a website dedicated to Random Acts of Kindness, you can check it out at http://www.raktion.com . But that is beside the point, are you aware of Ning.com a place where you can set up your own social network with a specific idea in mind? It might not be exactly what your idea is, but it would be a step in the right direction, and I myself would be willing to help on said Ning Network, I am very passionate about Randoms Acts of Kindness.
The Daily Minder Says:
August 30th, 2008, 0:54 am
I love it. I just wrote about something very similar.
Would it take off though?
J.R. Garcia Says:
August 30th, 2008, 1:03 am
Leo, I’m totally up for this. I’m a developer. I actually to web design for a living and I’m familiar with the Facebook API. I’m totally up for working on this (open source and for free). Let me know if there is any way that I can help!
Juanita Says:
August 30th, 2008, 1:20 am
I think there are small sites, and groups around that do RAOK’s. I’m a member of a knitting RAOK, where we give treats to everyone in the group, send eCards, or what have you on a whim. Quite honestly, I haven’t done it lately, but it is a group specific to the craft of knitting. I think it’d be cool to get a site like that going, just like…for everyone.
Eric C Says:
August 30th, 2008, 1:20 am
What scares me is that most people would rather post shallow comments on myspace…
Ki Says:
August 30th, 2008, 1:26 am
I do like the sound of it–but I would personally have no rewards for doing the acts of kindness. The act of doing something nice for strangers is reward enough. I also think it’d be great if instead of the act of kindness being removed once it’s been fulfilled, it remained up with a line through it to show it’s completion. Then you could ruminate on all the good things you’ve been blessed with.
Leo Says:
August 30th, 2008, 1:29 am
I’ve already got emails from a few people. In a day or two I’ll link you all up, and will also help create this if it gets off the ground. I’m no good at website development/design but I’m good with ideas and with writing. :)
Thanks everyone for sharing some great sites related to this idea, and for your excellent comments and ideas!
Scramblejam Says:
August 30th, 2008, 2:01 am
Count me in too…
I’ve been working on a “gratitude” focussed website, powered by the social sites like Twitter, Flickr etc. for people to share tweets, links and images that make them feel happy and thankful.
I’d be happy to build some of this work into a larger project…
Isabel Says:
August 30th, 2008, 2:26 am
>>Also, one selfish motivation is that I would like to put my wish list out there so that anyone who feels like being nice to me can buy me something. ;)
This strikes me as weird. Maybe it’s just me. But why not just sign up for an Amazon wishlist? Or heck, if you don’t mind being totally crass about it, post your wishlist on the blog somewhere.
I like the idea of supporting random acts of kindness; but I really DON’T like the idea of promoting rewards for kindness or the “hey, buy me something” mentality. So this doesn’t sound like anything I’d be a part of.
That said, to each his own. Apparently there are others who feel differently….
Leo Says:
August 30th, 2008, 3:04 am
@Isabel: Sorry, I was just joking. My humor doesn’t always come across too well in text.
Writer Dad Says:
August 30th, 2008, 3:11 am
It’s a fantastic idea, Leo. Like the best ideas, it’s shocking no one’s thought of it before.
I’m sure will see it soon. Your voice has a long reach.
Frank Manziano Says:
August 30th, 2008, 3:13 am
Good starting idea, which i think could be made much better with this twist: don’t have a user say we he/she’d like for themselves…have them say what they’d like to see somebody else do for somebody else, unrelated to them, but whom THEY know. That puts the act at least one step behind a direct chain, much better karma! AND doers don’t accumulate points…just tally total acts reported in after…
Kate Davis Says:
August 30th, 2008, 3:23 am
For an example of passing on books you can look at Bookcrossing. Although the original point of the site was to enable people to track books they left in the open, users of the site have developed associated sites.
One of these is Random Acts of Bookcrossing Kindness (RABCK). Where address details are shared between bookcrossers enabling them to post books to people without having to ask them for their address first.
Canary Says:
August 30th, 2008, 3:49 am
The basic structure of your proposed site sounds perfect. Too many Facebook apps get ignored, the best I do is use Li’l Green Patch to save the rainforest. But if your site were to be separate, I would join in an instant. It could be like freecycle.org but wit happiness instead of recycling. I give it two enthusiastic thumbs up!
Elliot Says:
August 30th, 2008, 3:51 am
Razoo.com
Miss Lucy Says:
August 30th, 2008, 4:12 am
Not exactly the same, but a similar idea: the Karma Army of Danny Wallace at http://www.join-me.co.uk.
The story behind it is a funny and interesting one..
Gerard Gustilo Says:
August 30th, 2008, 4:28 am
Hey Leo, I immediately saw this and just wanted to let you know my friend made a website devoted to Random Acts of Kindness. It can be found over at http://www.raktion.com (Random-Acts-of-Kindness; put into Action) It’s a project he’s barely starting but I thought it would be of some help. Enjoy!
Andrea Says:
August 30th, 2008, 5:18 am
That’s a good idea Leo.. but I fear someone will use it for its own advantage. I don’t know, it’s a great idea, I’m sure about that.. but make some kindness to anyone else should be less “organized” than a social network.. should be more spontaneous: it’s not a game where you win if you add some karma point, it should be an attitude. You should make kindness because you FEEL IT, not for a damn point or because you expect something back…
The idea is great.. but some elements you pointed out could be terribly wrong.
Hilary Says:
August 30th, 2008, 5:37 am
For an incredibly thought-provoking read about the entire concept of “rewards,” read Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn. You may not agree with him 100% that, for example, pizza coupons which reward books read result in “fat kids who hate to read,” but it is worth reflecting whether anything that changes an internal motivation to an external one is worth the cost. Even if it only “adds” to the levels of motivation, there’s an argument to be made that the external dilutes or taints the internal. I’m not saying any of this definitely applies in this case; it’s just what sprang to mind when I read the post & comments…
Roy Says:
August 30th, 2008, 6:03 am
Really it would be great innitiative.
Because ..
Kindness, like a boomerang, always returns.
It also makes me remember the ending of the movie “The Bruce Almighty,” where Mr. Morgan said, “ARK — Act of Random Kindness.”
Have you had a kindness shown?
Pass it on;
‘Twas not given for thee alone,
Pass it on;
~ Henry Burton, “Pass It On”
Mike Says:
August 30th, 2008, 6:15 am
Great idea, I’ll send you an email :)
I’m fairly good with PHP and MySQL, and am always looking for something new to work on.
*etherspirit Says:
August 30th, 2008, 6:15 am
This is a not a great idea. If you wish to spread good karma and make a long-lasting impact on your and others’ happiness, turn off your computer, go outside, and do something nice for someone in person. The internet is not a substitute for real life.
CG Walters Says:
August 30th, 2008, 6:38 am
Great idea, Leo
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou
many blessings to you and all you hold dear,
CG
"Motivate Thyself" Says:
August 30th, 2008, 6:45 am
I have to agree with Ki on this one. This seems so backward to have a place where you go to do ‘random acts of kindness’ and then be put up on a pedestal and shown how great you are. True kindness to others should be done purely for the sake of your concern for their well being. Once you add ‘prizes’ to the scenario you take away from what makes the act truly great.
MsNice Says:
August 30th, 2008, 7:39 am
From my experience in “time banks” I know that random acts of kindness, work better when they are actually random, and you don’t expect anything in return. (There is many people that is craving for affection in the wrong places)
I let my smile be my karma.
( THAT sounded cheesy…)
John Smith Says:
August 30th, 2008, 7:43 am
Great idea!
I am a software developer and i would be more than happy to devote some time to building this and share the workload.
Nice
Miguel de Luis Says:
August 30th, 2008, 7:52 am
Whatever you do, could you consider include a multi-lingual enviroment. It would be a pity if only English speaking people could join.
(And yes, I can help with some translation)
Billy Says:
August 30th, 2008, 8:36 am
That’s cool!!!! There are my ideas about this site around, I see some of are developers or designers, LEO why don’t we create a mail list and start working in a draft, we can work as an open source project sharing the code and docs in a central repository, Personally, I wouldn’t like to show my karma points but we can set this as a user defined behavoir… we can link facebook, amazon wish lists, you tube (some body would be happy if receive a short flick of a place or a person who miss), I can help you even with a iPhone application…. and of course we need marketing to make it successfull…
I’m ready to start.
J. Says:
August 30th, 2008, 8:47 am
Some interesting points raised above (some of them valid, I think), but I still think it’s a good idea. So: I’m in :)
(I dislike Facebook, though).
Corey Freeman Says:
August 30th, 2008, 8:58 am
This idea is totally awesome. I would love the chance to work on something that would, you know, promote kindness and charity and some honesty around all this “trying to beat out the competition” kind of atmosphere. (did that sentence even make sense?)
Email sent. Keep me updated!
Del Says:
August 30th, 2008, 9:25 am
I love this idea! It would be great to add a couple section just dealing with actual random acts of kindness that you witness, too. Like platewire.com or isawyou, but for things you notice. Like the guy who held the door open the other day for far longer than necessary, or the woman who grabbed the money clip and ran half a block to return it. It’s nice to just be reminded that these people are out there. We complain so much about the opposite end.
I don’t think rewards would be needed, though collecting karma points would be fun. Personally, I wouldn’t need to know how I was doing about someone else, but trying to collect a certain number of karma points a month might motivate me to help someone.
And it’d be fun to get orgs involved, the way they’ll occasionally ask freecycle for specific donations…. You could really help out some local organizations.
So, yes, I’m all in. Would be more than happy to help with the design side of things…
Del Says:
August 30th, 2008, 9:27 am
Oooh, oooh ooh! And you could choose, if you were to list the top hundred…whether you wanted your page listed or if you wanted to point out someone else’s page, someone you thought needed the help more…
Lin Says:
August 30th, 2008, 9:29 am
In December of ‘07, BlogCatalog did a Random Acts of Kindness blogathon, where bloggers agreed to do various acts of kindness towards others and then were to post about it on their blogs. It just felt wrong so I didn’t participate.
This feels much the same way, as a few others have commented above. The idea to get Karma points or be rewarded in some way on a website for doing kindnesses to others is backwards. Random Acts of Kindness is just that, random and kind. Not with the idea or motive of racking up brownie points or Karma points like bragging rights to say “Look at what I did!”, “See how great I am?!”, “Aren’t I Da Bomb?”
I agree with others who’ve said, help those in need by physically going out and helping them. Give to worthwhile charities. Volunteer in soup kitchens, remember needy children and families before, during and after holidays with kind gifts or food. Donate to food banks, etc.
“But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
Lynoure Braakman Says:
August 30th, 2008, 9:41 am
Have you tried 43things already? You list what you want (to do, get, give, whatever) and your goals put you in contact with other people, who then cheer you on and sometimes even help you.
Brice Says:
August 30th, 2008, 10:11 am
The idea sounds selfish. It makes kindness a competition (accumulating karma points) and is full of shameless self-promotion (listing needs). I laughed, but hey scratching a person’s back on the condition that they get theirs scratched too is not a random act of kindness.
deepali Says:
August 30th, 2008, 10:33 am
It works, and it doesn’t. It’s not random anymore if people get to decide how others should be kind to them.
On the other hand, kindness might go further if it were more useful…
What about a tweak - instead of saying what *you* want, make a list of kindnesses people in your life could benefit from. Some stranger fulfills a “wish”, and you forward it to your friend as a nice surprise. This of course, doesn’t get you off the hook for doing something nice for your friend yourself!
Or, promote it in a different way. Accept that it’s a place that people will go to feel better about themselves, and market it in that way. Research shows that to be genuinely happy, you have to include altruism in your life. But many people don’t know how to go about doing it (or need some sort of interface that makes it easy). Well here you go. Need a pick-me-up? Feeling stressed? Overwhelmed? Disconnected? Visit Social Kindness and do something nice for someone else, and you are guaranteed an instant mood elevator.
There is an added benefit - the more often you do it, the more easily it integrates into your life. Pretty soon, you can go out and do it on your own.
"Motivate Thyself" Says:
August 30th, 2008, 10:39 am
I agree with Brice. Once you add things like ‘Karma Points’ and top 100 lists you are completely throwing out all of what makes kindness so great: Selflessness.
Merovingian Says:
August 30th, 2008, 10:44 am
pay it forward, brothaman……
Julie Says:
August 30th, 2008, 10:52 am
Leo, I don’t have time to read through all the comments, but if you make (or find) something like this, please count me in!
Ben Says:
August 30th, 2008, 11:13 am
I am an experienced web developer and can provide hosting, so I’d love to work with anyone who can spend time on concept/design. My email’s on my site if you want to contact me.
Outdoorgrrl’s idea of finding people nearby who need acts of kindness sounds promising. It could be a way to find people in real life who are in need.
Beth Patterson Says:
August 30th, 2008, 11:28 am
Great idea and great dialogue!
Community Server might also be a platform for this kind of site. I use it for the Virtual Tea House, and don’t utilize half of the capacity that it has. It’s not free, though…
I think on this site there should be a way for people who want to be anonymous could do so but still participate–there’s a lot of that going around too!
As for the whole idea of points, etc, I think that concept fits into the more traditional structure of give something/get something.
I’d be more inclined to participat in a counter-cultural approach: give something–and you’ll receive something, but it’s not immediate, and not tied directly to the giving. Random-like. Otherwise, it perpetuates the ‘gift economy’ (check out Dave Pollard’s article on the Virtuous Cycles of the Gift Economy on his site: How to Save the World: http://blogs.salon.com/0002007/2008/08/29.html#a2231
I will send you an email, Leo, offering whatever I can do to help.
Susan Brassfield Cogan Says:
August 30th, 2008, 12:11 pm
“I agree with Brice. Once you add things like ‘Karma Points’ and top 100 lists you are completely throwing out all of what makes kindness so great: Selflessness.”
Emannuel Kant Lives!
Look, reciprocal altruism is part of what makes us human beings. There is no more utterly human thing to do than to rub your back so I can get a back rub or to pay you back for a back rub.
“Selflessness” is an evil concept–or it can quickly lead to evil. Being kind to others makes people feel good, almost as good as having someone be kind to you. That interesting set of emotions is part of our inborn nature. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong at all being kind for selfish reasons. It doesn’t stop being kindness because you get a little vaporware reward or a good feeling.
Leo, this is a brilliant idea and SO like how I have come to know you! Do it! Do it!
Oh, and just to let you know I read one of your blog posts as a sermon (with full attribution) one Sunday morning at church. You do great work.
Beth Patterson Says:
August 30th, 2008, 12:18 pm
Oh, and we have talked about it here on these comments, but I don’t think we’ve labeled it–’enlightened self-interest’…
Carolyn Winter Says:
August 30th, 2008, 12:21 pm
What is so wonderful about this idea is that it contributes to a refocusing of society to become one based on giving rather than getting or having. I read a blog sometime ago (i wish i could find again!) about the emergence of a ‘Giving Society’.
In our current society, our ego needs are met (for the majority of the population) by measuring how much we have or our stuff. i.e. I have more stuff than you, my stuff is better than yours, and i am more than you because of my stuff. The consequences is before our eyes and is the society we live in.
But what if our society was base on our ego needs being met by how much we help or give away? We get brownie points for being nice as your website idea suggests. We also have to learn to be good receivers - as in receiving we help the other person meet their own ego needs.
An example of this kind of giving I remember from that other blog, was that of Open Source software developers who get a lot of their ego needs met by contributing modules to free ‘open source’ software that anyone can use.
Well …. come to think of it … ARE THERE ANY OPEN SOURCE guys out there that would like to tackle this project?
All the best,
Hope this manifest!
Carolyn
"Motivate Thyself" Says:
August 30th, 2008, 12:24 pm
@Susan Brassfield Cogan: I’ve never heard someone call selflessness an evil concept before. I understand that it is human nature to do something for someone else and, at least, hope that good things come in return. That, in itself is not a bad thing. But try to look at it this way: If someone gives a portion of their time to someone else and refuses to take payment for their actions, they are acting in kindness. But if someone gives that same amount of time and then expects payment in return, can you still look at this as an act of kindness?
Niles Gibbs Says:
August 30th, 2008, 12:54 pm
Drop the karma points and the top 100.
“There is no greater injury to one’s character than practicing virtue with motivation.” - Zhuangzi
“The first sign of the fester was when our chivalry turned into Games-Mania - all that nonsense about who had the best tilting average and so forth.” - The Once and Future King
Just some thoughts.
Ian Says:
August 30th, 2008, 13:00 pm
This is actually something I have already been working on at http://KindnessAnonymous.com
It’s still i the infancy as I launched it about a month ago, the only thing that is up and running is the newsletter signup - while I wrap my head around Rails to build the social network.
Zen Whitebelt Says:
August 30th, 2008, 13:01 pm
I have been a subscriber for a little while, and your blog & feed has helped me a lot, which I appreciate. I apologize I haven’t taken the time until now to let you know my appreciation and gratitude.
I would like to do something kind as you mentioned - for you, although it is something you haven’t explicitly asked for.
Explain how dangerous & misleading this post on a social site for kindness is. I’m sure it will be or has been implemented either way, but here’s why it is a horrible idea:
A lot of people are already nice to strangers. A lot of people aren’t as nice as they should/could be to strangers. A lot of people aren’t too nice at all. Doing something nice for a stranger is nice as a standalone act. But no one lives in a standalone world. We have parents and kids and sisters and brothers and aunts and uncles and cousins and co-workers and bosses and employees. The web is good for a lot of things. So is social networking. A lot of people will make themselves feel better by taking your advice and doing something good for “a stranger” (who they may then become friends with online or offline). Unfortunately, many will also then get off from their computer and get right back into the fight they were having with their spouse or go to work the next day and yell at their employee or complain to their boss. They’ll think they’re not doing something bad to someone they know well - even were best friends with - because they did some virtual stranger a random act of kindness, so that makes them a good person.
It’s certainly good for people to practice random acts of kindness. But that should only come after you spend the energy and effort to make sure your own circle around you is receiving regular kindnesses from you. Otherwise your “random acts” to strangers reinforce in you that you’re “a good person” when you might be abominable to those closest to you.
It would be somehow overkill or otherwise not feasible to do a “framework” for kindness that you show. But unless you focus on making sure you are kind to “the most important people” in your life, this proposed site is in huge conflict with the rocks/pebbles/sand focus of priorities. If a random act of kindness from/to a stranger helps someone be kinder to their own family, friends, co-workers, etc. consistently, then this would be great. I think in practice though, it will reinforce good habits to those that are already practicing good habits to their closest people and make worse the bad habits people practice to their closest people, while justifying their behavior because they did something good for someone random on the site.
Think pretty carefully about different people in your life - not just people who are already good souls doing good things for a lot of people already - but rather the middle majority that are challenged with life and don’t always have the presence of mind to be nice (especially to their loved ones) and sometimes justify what they do to make themselves feel better. This site (as outlined) will help them perpetuate focusing on the sand and not the rocks.
http://zenhabits.net/2007/04/big-rocks-first-double-your-productivity-this-week/
knitterr Says:
August 30th, 2008, 13:11 pm
Agreeing with MikeWhoBikes and with Brice. Seems to me that a Random Act Of Kindness has to be ————–
Random! / For a Person’s Need that is Noticed “in the moment” someone needs money at the cashier or a dry shirt right now or a leash for a loose dog right NOW / Not an attempt to earn some sort of currency, that’s not how Karma works / has to Involve the face-to-face reality of human interaction::::
Virtual is virtual, it’s almost real, it’s like television which is not actually an experience. I love the internet and have internet friends, but humans need a dose of real live interaction at some regular points in their journeys through life and days. That is the POINT of kindness. Kindness is an interaction that is a “two-way street”.
I have a lot of experience with this whole random acts of kindness concept. It works like crazy, except probably not with the proposed mechanism…How can I gently say that there are people who will take and take and take and take: these folks need professional help. That is what professional charity, the welfare system, and medicaid were established for… Thanks for the forum.
Sheri Says:
August 30th, 2008, 13:16 pm
Here is a site that is devoted to this but does not have all the “extras” you discussed.
http://www.daymakermovement.com/
Sheri
Sheri Says:
August 30th, 2008, 13:17 pm
One more thing! I think you should do a post of all the sites that you end up getting. I would be interested in checking them all out.
Sheri
knitterr Says:
August 30th, 2008, 13:19 pm
I should clarify that “take and take…” can be a sign of a personal problem OR simply a human in great need.
The various systems we have set up in this country, public and private, are professional “helpers” and are there for everyone, whatever their Need and whatever the causes of that need.
Daniel Richard Says:
August 30th, 2008, 13:47 pm
Maybe the karma points system is only displayed on the user’s own dashboard. Not one who’s into the bragging own karma points thingy.
How bout that?
It does challenge our own to out-do our personal achievements of doing good onto others for the day even without the affirmation of having our own points displayed on the public pages.
In the meantime: What Will You Do To Make This World A Better Place? :)
Daniel
Adam Says:
August 30th, 2008, 13:59 pm
Interesting idea but i agree with some of the concerns above i.e. drop the karma points and top 100! Also, please let’s not have a Facebook app… they own enough data already!
Otherwise, I await developments with much anticipation :)
Thanks Leo. Keep going…
barbara Says:
August 30th, 2008, 14:30 pm
Try this site for sending good karma. http://www.karmaex.com/
My husband developed this site a year ago in order to create a nice place on the internet. A place where you could do daily random acts of kindness through words. It came about from a time when things were not going so well and we were feeling like the world wasn’t such a nice place. At the time there were no such places to be found on the internet. It was his answer to keeping his faith in human kindness.
It follows the pay it forward principle. When you send someone a good karma they receive a token. The idea is that the receiver will be inspired to then send that good karma on to someone else but not back to the original sender. The token can even be tracked to see how many times it exchanges hands and even how many countries it travels through.
Might be interesting to see some of the other ideas suggested in your original post incorporated into this site.
Andre Kibbe Says:
August 30th, 2008, 14:31 pm
Here’s a simpler idea. Have a forum where people journal what they’ve done today for others, and have members assign points. The combination of virtue and vanity would probably obviate the need for a reward.
Morne Says:
August 30th, 2008, 14:46 pm
Wow! What a lot of comments and such mixed feelings!! I really like the idea and I think Leo’s heart is in the right place. I do agree with a lot of you that kindness and reward dont go hand in hand. One thing I can say and does support a website like this is that it is sometimes hard to find “causes”. We all know the red crosses and salvation armies of the world but sometimes something more direct is needed… and somehow kinder. “Seeding” an act of kindness like letting everyone on the site know of say a school that needs books or a granny that would like reading to etc so that everyone that can, can join in and help. We all have different skills and different things to offer. I do also think that there might be a danger of misuse when asking for monetary kindness but it may not be an issue. I think a facebook plugin is a great idea! Count me in!
Nicole Says:
August 30th, 2008, 15:12 pm
I love the idea of having a facebook app that could help me figure out some nice things to do for the people I know. For example - I love to write letters, so if I knew someone had just moved or was feeling lonely, it might help me decide who to write my next letter to. It would also be fun to be able to do things for people I don’t know, but who are living near me - a great way to contribute to the community and perhaps meet a few new people.
Evert Says:
August 30th, 2008, 15:24 pm
There is a Dutch website (www.clubvan100.nl) and tv-program called Club van 100. Quite similar to your idea.
Ian Says:
August 30th, 2008, 15:26 pm
“The most practical and immediate way to begin sharing with others and working for their benefit is to work with your own domestic situation and to expand from there” - Chogyam Trungpa, Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior
When I read the above, it completely changed my life. I used to look for ways to help out total strangers, and still do to some extent, whilst my own personal life was not exactly great. I think I did this because it feels far better to CHOOSE to do something rather than feel obliged to do it.
Responsibilities and obligations take the joy out of life, so it’s no wonder people try to escape from them and do a random act of kindness instead. I fear this site will encourage people to do less for those they love and more for strangers because it feels better to choose to do things for strangers.
Other reasons I don’t like this idea are:
1) keeping a tally and high score table adds to ego, which is so not Zen, and encourages people to spend even more time on strangers and less on loved ones
2) you don’t need karma points, karma itself keeps track of your good acts
3) what about all the people without computers, surely they need more help than us lucky net users?
4) listing the things you want others to do for you is incredibly lazy and goes completely against one of the main messages of this site, which is to take control of your life and make things happen, not wait for others to help you. if you really need help with something, ask a friend or family member for help.
5) if you need a site to give you an idea of what random act to perform then either you aren’t very perceptive of what’s going on around you or you need to learn to listen better because your time is the greatest gift you can give to others and there are always people out there who just want someone to talk to - and you are bound to uncover a few kind acts you can do if you listen.
Menay Says:
August 30th, 2008, 15:30 pm
I love this idea. For it helps us remember that we don’t have to do something huge, but just doing some small act of kindness can change the world. Imagine we the world would be like if we all did one small thing each day.
AP Says:
August 30th, 2008, 15:47 pm
Here’s something I thought was interesting. Have a look at this model. It sounds similar to what you’re proposing, but it’s more of a face-to-face format, rather than social networking-based.
Here’s the quote from the website:
“Time Banks Weave Community One Hour at a TimeFor every hour you spend doing something for someone in your community, you earn one Time Dollar. Then you have a Time Dollar to spend on having someone do something for you. It’s that simple. Yet it also has profound effects. Time Banks change neighborhoods and whole communities. Time Banking is a social change movement in 22 countries and six continents.”
Just an idea to take into consideration.
Amalgam Says:
August 30th, 2008, 16:20 pm
What a great idea! A site that promotes kindness and rewards you for it…Genius! Leo your a freakin’ genius man!
Teresa A Says:
August 30th, 2008, 16:45 pm
First, I am not “blasting” anyone here. Just thinking about things and wondering what we have brought ourselves to.
The bigger part of me says we should not expect to be rewarded or recognized for acts of kindness. True acts of kindness are very rare because true acts of kindness are completely selfless. It is dificult to do something nice without a hidden agenda, even if it is just making yourself feel good.
I also worry about the message we would be sending to our kids. They already think they should be rewarded for everything. What happened to doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do?
That said, if this is what it takes to make the world a better place, then so be it. The bottom line I suppose is that people who need help would get the help they need, whatever the motivation.
Dread Knight Says:
August 30th, 2008, 16:56 pm
There is a site pretty much like this in my point of view:
You can help out open source projects and receive karma points :P
People can help them selfs out using good free applications and make a living, just like i do :P
“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime”—Author unknown
Tri Nguyen Says:
August 30th, 2008, 19:04 pm
Great idea Leo. while still an undergraduate, I created a simple website http://www.aboutkindness.org dedicated to the value of “random act of kindness” while as human beings we cannot avoid the Darwin’s “survival of the fittest”….
the website did not last more than a year because I didn’t have the resources and energy to keep up with it….. i am looking forward to see if someone is able to come up with a site to bring forth the idea to create a community centered by kindness.
Anon Anon Says:
August 30th, 2008, 19:20 pm
Nice idea but its just not realistic, people are generally not kind and will just team up with their friends to get the most karma points so that people are nice to them since they are in the top 100.
You might say that this is just my lack of faith in humanity but i would say that hoping people wont do this shows your lack of grasp on reality.
Susan Brassfield Cogan Says:
August 30th, 2008, 19:53 pm
@Teresa A says:
“True acts of kindness are very rare because true acts of kindness are completely selfless.”
I totally don’t get this. What on earth is wrong with both parties benefiting? Mutual benefit is sort of foundational to all culture.
@Tri Nguyen Says:
“as human beings we cannot avoid the Darwin’s “survival of the fittest”….”
“fittest” for humans IS kindness. Cultures which don’t take care of their own don’t last very long. Compassion, kindness and “fellow feeling” is what humans have instead of fangs and claws. It’s our evolutionary survival mechanism.
@For Leo:
I LOVE the idea of “karma points.” Anybody who’s too selfless to put up with them, should avoid the website.
Melbourne Girl Says:
August 30th, 2008, 19:53 pm
Aw, Anon Anon…you do lack faith in humanity. I doubt the superficial, self-interested people you describe would even bother visiting a website about kindness, especially when there are so many social networks available for them to amass as many friends as possible and make themselves look good.
I think it’s a fantastic idea and Leo’s grasp on reality is pretty sound in my opinion. I hope someone runs with it.
Lisa | Holistic-Treatment-for-Depression Says:
August 30th, 2008, 21:09 pm
I think it’s a great idea — so what if it rewards people for doing kind things? It appeals to the self-serving nature of social sites but by rewarding good behavior encourages decency. Perhaps part of the reason people are so self centered today is that there’s no tangible, immediate reward for kindness.
Whatever the method, it would teach people the value of being kind to another, which is sorely needed in this world.
Meg Says:
August 30th, 2008, 21:17 pm
Ladder to Heaven (http://laddertoheaven.com) is kind of what you are talking about.
Here’s the blurb from their front page:
Every day, people are doing great things for each other. We are performing incredible acts of kindness, selflessness, and generosity, whether these actions are planned or completely random. But often these deeds go unnoticed; we are too easily preoccupied with all the bad to see all the good in our world. Ladder to Heaven is the first place on the web for users to post their own good deeds and the deeds of others, bringing the righteousness of human nature to the foreground of society.
Worth checking out when you are getting overwhelmed by all the bad news!!
Disheartened Says:
August 30th, 2008, 21:38 pm
I saw a link to this on Digg and this post, I’m sorry to say, runs in the opposite direction of everything zen. An admitted selfish desire for a gift as partial motivation? Leaves a sour taste.
Good deeds are noticed by those who are the recipient and those are paying attention, they don’t need to be broadcast. A shout out might be nice *for the ego* but that’s hardly zen.
Johnny Q Says:
August 30th, 2008, 21:40 pm
I could Provide the Hosting and System Maintance, we just need a programmer to Program the Social site.
Abs Says:
August 30th, 2008, 21:43 pm
Good idea.
You should keep the names and photo provided to make the act of kindness more random. Otherwise people would be more likely to help ones who look good or they know.
Alison Wiley Says:
August 30th, 2008, 21:47 pm
I’m on board with acts of kindness. But drawing on my advanced degree in counseling psychology, I’d have to say it’s a child’s stage of moral development that needs external rewards for kindness — and I see our culture as stuck in this kind of self-gratification pattern, not just individuals.
How about embracing psychological adulthood and the full measures of social responsibility that go with that, while also retaining the ability to be playful and joyous? This is the focus of my blog Diamond-Cut Life http://www.diamondcutlife.org/.
Brian2314 Says:
August 30th, 2008, 21:51 pm
I did not have time to read all of these comments but if there are no objections I will get started on building this site in the next month. I would love to have as much input as possible from all of you. Let me know what you think
chris Says:
August 30th, 2008, 21:54 pm
Thank you for this post. I wasn’t aware of all the sites devoted to help people. I checked out all the sites and they are all pretty good.
*shameless plug*
I’m trying to raise money to start a school in the Philippines and I’ve discussed it at length on my blog. If you’re interested in helping please go to http://watdawat.com.
Leo, I apologize for using your site for self-promotion. Feel free to remove this comment if you wish.
Thanks.
Brian2314 Says:
August 30th, 2008, 21:54 pm
Email any suggestions that you might have and ideas you think would or would not work to themessage101@live.com. This is a wonderful idea that should be made into reality. Great idea Leo, the credit is all yours and i look foward to getting as much input from you possible.
Angeladtao Says:
August 30th, 2008, 22:08 pm
I think this is a great idea. I practice this in my daily life and find that it changes me inside gradually. At this point in my life, I no longer need the kudos of the world to do the things I do. In fact, when I do things for people, I tell them my only rule is that they never tell who did it and that they do something for someone else some day when they are in the position to do so. I am completely committed with my time at this point, but if someone would like to do this, they can easily do it at squidoo.com. This site provides a platform for novices to create web pages, which they call lenses, very easily. They have lists of modules that contain text, picture uploads, lists, comments, and many other handy types of devices which you can use to put together a lens very quickly. The people on this site are great about providing guidance to the newbies if they have problems. Someone should really try this because a link to a site like ZenHabits is something that doesn’t come along every day!
darren macintyre Says:
August 30th, 2008, 22:12 pm
The idea of an artificial karma system that encouraged random acts of kindness was explored in a short story by Bruce Stirling. What was interesting is you didn’t know what your karma bank was or get thanks for what you did.
daniel Says:
August 30th, 2008, 22:18 pm
That’s a great idea, I’d participate, but there may be some people who just do nice things in hopes to get others to do nice things for them.
Eugenia Says:
August 30th, 2008, 22:19 pm
I like the idea of it. It reminds me vaguely of timeshare sites, where people exchange non-$ services of expertise they have for something they need.
Perhaps, instead of gaining Karma points automatically, you could gain karma points by reputation? E.g., If somebody does something nice, you send some points in their direction. In a way that becomes more of an accountable system, and you really have to earn those points and engage in the community. Just a possibility! Thanks for writing about this!