Photo courtesy of Adam Arthur Success Isn’t a Competition: Boosting Others Helps You in the Long Run
“The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation.” - Bertrand Russell
As a blogger who has found some success amongst the seemingly endless sea of blogs, I’ve had to confront some old and rusty ideas I used to have about success and competition.
I examined these long-held beliefs early on in my blogging career, and discovered that they were false.
What I learned that has helped me tremendously, and these ideas can be applied to many fields of work and many areas of life:
- Striving for success does not requre competition.
- Boosting others actually helps you, in the long run.
- Envy of others’ success and trying to tear others down helps NO ONE.
The last one probably sounds obvious, but is also the idea that’s least used in reality by many people. For some reason, many of us get jealous when others are successful, and we try to tear the person down. We belittle them for their success, we criticize unfairly, we bad-mouth people, we become obstacles to their further progress.
It’s utterly illogical, and yet you can find it everywhere in life, in many different cultures and industries. How does someone else’s success become a bad thing for other people? This is a concept I’d like to explore a little today, and I’d also like to take a look at the converse: how boosting people actually helps you.
Success Isn’t a Competition
Blogging, for example, is not a zero-sum game. If I gain readers, it doesn’t mean you’ll lose readers. In fact, if we as bloggers link to each other, we can help each other gain readers at the same time.
Helping other bloggers, in that sense, does nothing to hurt you as a blogger. You aren’t competing for readers, even if you’re both trying to get the same readers, because readers can read multiple blogs.
Sure, you might say that readers can only read so many blogs, so we are competing for their limited attention. But that’s a very limited and limiting view. That’s assuming that there’s a very limited pool of readers with a small amount of attention. That isn’t true: there are lots of blog readers out there, and even more, there are MANY non-blog readers who will soon become blog readers, and that number is increasing all the time.
We aren’t competing for readers — we’re all trying to gain readership, but we can do that together, cooperatively if we like. Or we can compete and tear and claw at each other.
This concept can apply to many other industries. I’ve been a writer in the field of journalism, and while some journalists think it’s a competition — you want to beat others by getting the story first (a scoop!) or you’re competing for limited jobs — I never agreed. We were all striving for the same goal: to tell the truth, and to get useful information to our readers. In that light, journalists can cooperate, and some of them actually do cooperate. Sharing of information is good for everybody.
Think about your field of work: while the mainstream view is probably that everybody’s competing with each other, is there a way to see it as just the opposite? That we can all be successful, and that helping each other is actually a good thing?
I would bet that you can see it that way. Think of it in terms of personal success: do you really need to compete with your peers in order to be a success? Can’t you all be successes, but in different ways? Maybe one person makes a million dollars, another successfully starts a small business, another becomes famous for inventing something new, another becomes one of the most solid and hardest working people in his field. Those are all successes in different ways, and there are many, many more ways to be successful.
There is a lot of use in this kind of view. Competition can be a motivator, and sometimes can be a lot of fun. But it can also be destructive, and become an obstacle to success. And if you see things as not a competition, that can lead to some really great things. Let’s take a look at that now.
Boosting Others Helps You in the Long Run
Let’s say, as a blogger, that I link to others and send them a lot of traffic so that they get new readers. Those other bloggers might, over time, become even bigger than me. Have I just lost a competition? Did I just shoot myself in the foot?
Not at all. If I help others to become successes, that’s a good thing. First, it feels good to make others happy and successful. Trust me — this is one of the greatest feelings. But second, if you want to look at things in more of a selfish way (and you don’t have to, at all), making others successful actually helps you in the long run.
Think of it like this: if I help five blogs become so successful that they each have 5 million readers a month (oh, we can dream!), they will probably be grateful for my help. They might remain close friends with me, even though they are now out of my league. They might even see me as a mentor. And as a result, they will probably send readers my way from time to time, when I have good posts their readers might like.
And wham! I now have five major blogs sending their readers to me, after I helped them grow by sending readers to them! I am rolling in traffic! Yee hoo haw!
Of course, there’s no need to see things in such a quid pro quo way, but you can see how this example illustrates the way that helping others can come back to help you in many different ways.
And this doesn’t just apply to blogging — it can apply to anything. Imagine if you had helped Bill Gates to create his first software company, and he went on to become bigger than you. It would be cool to be the guy who made Gates successful, would it not? He might even help your little company and invite you to party on his yacht sometimes. Sure, you lost a competition by helping a competitor — but you also gained a life-long friend who is now a billionaire and seems to be on good terms with Jerry Seinfeld. Hard to beat that!
By freeing yourself from the bounds of competition, you free yourself to help others, even if they might be competitors. And in doing so, you gain relationships, and those can be amazingly valuable — in terms of having great friends, and maybe gaining something in the long run. Friends, of course, are much, much more than what they might give you (and you shouldn’t make friends because they might give you something), but you can see the point: it certainly doesn’t hurt you to help others.
Don’t Tear Others Down
So if boosting others can help you, what about the converse? What does tearing others down do for you?
Well, tearing others down might make you feel better. I doubt it, but it might. It might also stop a competitor from succeeding, and maybe in the short term that’ll help you. I also doubt that, but it might.
The truth is, no one likes a person who tears others down. If you are bad-mouthing someone, it might make you feel better, but others won’t like it. You will gain a bad reputation, and your bad-mouthing will come back to hurt you. If you are sabotaging others, that’s even worse.
If you become an obstacle to others’ success, they will despise you for it. They will try to get around you, and failing that, will try to go through you. Your energies and time will be spent trying to stop others, and defending yourself against their attacks.
What a waste of precious time and energy! Couldn’t you spend that better on building things yourself? On creating something beautiful and truly useful? On helping others to succeed? Of course you can!
Tearing others down is destructive. It hurts other people, and in the long run, it’ll hurt you. Don’t waste your time and energy on it.
Instead, build others up. Praise their success. Learn to be truly happy for the successes of others, rather than envious. Be a part of their success, rather than an obstacle. Participating in something great, including the successes of others, is a wonderful thing to have accomplished.
The Zen Habits Helping Hand Program
So, in that light, I would like to help my fellow bloggers and non-bloggers alike. I don’t know the best way to help you, so I will offer some options:
- Links. I can link to one of your best posts, either in my tumblelog or in a relevant post, if I think my readers will enjoy the post or find it useful. Feel free to share it with me on delicious (bookmark your post with the tag “for:zenhabits”) and I’ll try to find good posts to link to as much as possible.
- Ad space. I sell 125×125 ads for a decent amount of money. I would like to offer one or two of those spaces each month to other blogs, for free. I anticipate there will probably be a lot of requests for this, so please understand that I won’t be able to make everyone happy. I won’t even respond to all requests. But if I can help one or two bloggers a month, that would make me happy.
- Money. Sometimes a blogger or web business just needs a little cash to startup. I don’t have a lot of money, but I will give a little here or there if I can and see some need and potential. Again, there might be a lot of requests for this so please understand if I’m not able to respond to all requests.
- Mentoring. I would like to help other bloggers learn to create useful content. In my experience, that’s the most important part of creating a successful blog. I’d like to help other bloggers learn to create that kind of content (as well as some other useful skills, like promoting your blog and connecting with your readers). Again, I will only be able to respond to a few requests here.
- Other help. If you’re not a blogger, you might need help with certain areas of your life. I might be able to help by sharing my experiences (I don’t like to give outright advice, but share what works for me) or giving you ideas (ideas are my strong point!). Again, I won’t be able to help everyone.
- Suggestions? If you have suggestions for other ways I can help people succeed, I’d love to hear them in the comments!
If you’d like to participate in the helping hand program, feel free to email me (zenhabits (at) gmail with the subject line “helpinghand” one word) or link to this post from your blog or leave a comment. Again, PLEASE understand that I will not respond to every comment or email, especially if there are a lot of requests. I will pick a few to respond to and keep the others on file for later if I can get to them. I am but one person! I will help those I can, and hope that’s enough.
“If any of my competitors were drowning, I’d stick a hose in their mouth.” - Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald’s
Comments (114)
Eric Hamm Says:
October 1st, 2008, 20:50 pm
I’d love to help out if I could! I certainly would jump at the chance of any of your offerings, but right now I’m more interested in helping out other bloggers. One request I’ve had a lot lately is to help with Wordpress theme design. A lot of people like the tweaks I’ve made on my blogs and ask for advise.
So I’d like to offer any help that I can with this or any other questions that new (or veteran) bloggers may have.
Leo, I think this is really great that you are doing this!
Just let me know what I can do to help out and I’ll be there. Too many other bloggers have been amazingly generous to me and I’d like to return the favor. Eric.
Writer Dad Says:
October 1st, 2008, 20:50 pm
Leo, obviously you are a wonderful man. You are one of the handful of inspirations that got me started with my blog. You showed me more than anyone else that an individual could build a wide audience with the strength of their character and words. I thanked you on my first day. Your writing is beautiful, and message clear. I think what you’re doing here (the whole site, but specifically this post) is wonderful. If I may be included, ad space would be amazing, a link nearly as much. Competition can be healthy, but there’s nothing better than helping those around you. Community is important to me. I answer every comment and generate an average of forty comments per post. I love my audience and would like to speak to more. I have no ads on my site; it’s just about the words. Thanks.
Daniel Kemp Says:
October 1st, 2008, 20:53 pm
Hello Leo.
This is a great post.
I agree that working together can make both people more profitable than if they worked separately.
There is a line that I see with the “tearing someone down”. That can work to each person’s benefit. Look at what happened with Kanye and 50 Cent when they were releasing their albums on the same day. They made fun of one another and got great returns in the end. Yes, I know it was a marketing gimmick, but it worked out great.
Maya Says:
October 1st, 2008, 20:57 pm
All I can say is that this is wonderful!
I am meeting a lot of people (on the web) with a sense of community and willing to help and I really did not expect this when I started to blog recently. When someone is just starting out as I am, every bit of help, advice and suggestion goes a long way. I am grateful to all the people who have participated on my blog and invite anyone who has a minute to stop by and give me some feedback.
Thanks!
Fit Bottomed GIrl Says:
October 1st, 2008, 21:00 pm
Wow, this is really cool. When I first started my blog, I was amazed by how much of a community it is. It seems to be this way everywhere, but it’s very noticeable in the health and fitness blogosphere were we are because everyone is trying to be healthy, and that takes motivation and support, especially when it comes to weight loss.
I’d love any comments you had for Fit Bottomed Girls, but I know you’re going to get swamped. :)
Michael Moniz Says:
October 1st, 2008, 21:03 pm
That is great. We all need to support each other because we all speak to different people on different areas. We are stronger together so it is great to see the support and help.
Sid Savara Says:
October 1st, 2008, 21:03 pm
Leo, you’re really taking a lot of steps to cement you place as one of the most generous, and helpful bloggers out there today.
It reminds me a lot about one of the things Paul Graham wrote, about how if you keep going in the direction of successful companies (helping people, doing something worthwhile, etc) you eventually end up with the extreme: charities.
I think the same is true with many successful individuals. Just as the richest men in the world eventually realized their best legacy would be to give everything away to help those less fortunate, I think this is the same concept (though of course, a little less extreme =) )
Kimberlee Says:
October 1st, 2008, 21:04 pm
Hello Leo,
What a great concept! I did send you an email, but I still wanted to comment here. I would like to extend this helping hand theme to my own blog. Although I am a beginning blogger, I am willing to help anyone with advice, suggestions, or ideas. This could become a community initiative, with everyone helping each other out!
Thank you for this generous offer. If just one person benefits, you have done us all a great service.
Kimberlee
Shanel Yang Says:
October 1st, 2008, 21:22 pm
Way to pay it forward, Leo! You are a true trailblazer! : )
Eric Says:
October 1st, 2008, 21:25 pm
Excellent points!!
Bryan Eye Says:
October 1st, 2008, 21:41 pm
Leo…. right on! And you are so right about the non-competitive nature of success. What an awesome gesture. I’m putting a link to your site on my sidebar right now.
Jessica Stalley Says:
October 1st, 2008, 21:55 pm
Leo,
Awesome concept!
I love it. Bloggers helping bloggers, what a great idea. I’ve always loved the generosity exuded in your articles and this takes it a step further. I’m keen to be of help as well - my strength is editing, proofreading and writing content. I’d love to be able to help other bloggers who might be challenged in these areas, as well as providing some free content or guest posts. I’m not sure exactly what people are looking for, so would love to hear from anyone.
Keep up the great work, Leo! Your site is the first one I hit each morning for my daily dose of motivation :)
Mike King Says:
October 1st, 2008, 22:01 pm
Leo, your blog and offers like you’ve presented continue to inspire me and I’m thrilled to be experiencing some of your own feelings (and commenters) that the blog community thrives by everyone helping each other.
I’ve started my own blog with that intent and while I haven’t taken steps to offer specific areas of help, I think that would be immensely helpful on my site. I’m going to do the same for my small (in comparison) community.
Jessica Stalley Says:
October 1st, 2008, 22:02 pm
I should add that I do have more content at my original website, Personal Development Now, and I’m in the process of moving/updating content on my blog, which is more streamlined and better set out. Just in case anyone thought I was a “content writer” with no content!
Liora Hess Says:
October 1st, 2008, 22:13 pm
I wonder if I’m the only one here who actually felt kind of weepy reading this. The post is so generous, so unique in the world of people willing to trample over everyone else with the idea that there is only room for Number 1, that I’m a bit floored (kind of like when I read about the Uncopyright for the first time!).
I need help–big time. Nobody knows I exist, yet I think my writing is pretty strong (you can check my blog and tell me what you think ;) ) . Though it’s not a duplicate of Zen Habits, I think the majority of the readers here would enjoy it if they enjoy ZH. I simply need somebody (or a bunch of somebodies!) to give me a helping hand from probloggers in the way of mentoring, diggs and stumbles, and offers to guest post on their sites.
And I believe in paying it forward as well as paying it back. When I am successful, I’ll be doing both. Thanks, All!
Stuart Says:
October 1st, 2008, 22:16 pm
Help from Leo Babauta? I would be eternally grateful if I am ordained as a chosen one! Where I need help listed by order of importance.
(1) Mentoring
(2) Suggestions for Improvement
(3) A Guest Article from Leo
Meg Says:
October 1st, 2008, 22:33 pm
This is such a generous thing to do. I love your blog and I am often in awe of your insightful posts. You recent post about turning weaknesses into strengths has really inspired me to take on a challenge I had felt was beyond me and helped me to make some positive change in my community. Thank you!!
One blog I would really love to see going places is http://www.operationnice.com/ - if you were able to lend a hand to Melissa at Operation NICE I think her ideas could really do well!
Keep up the good work :)
Eric Hamm Says:
October 1st, 2008, 22:33 pm
@Liora Hess: You’ve got a great looking blog with some great posts. Just give it time and you’ll see the readers come. Certainly having aide from the zenhabits of the world will speed up this process, but keep doing what you’re doing and the growth will come. :-)
Jade Says:
October 1st, 2008, 22:33 pm
What a great post! If the relationship is not a win-win situation, it will become destrutive eventually. As a matter of fact, it can be fatal. I witnessed a real case.
Liora Hess Says:
October 1st, 2008, 22:41 pm
Thank you, Eric. :) I’m trying to keep hope that I can make a living from writing, and in the meantime, do my part to bust my behind to make it happen. This post was very inspirational to me—as are your words! Thank you.
Leo Says:
October 1st, 2008, 22:48 pm
Thanks for the kind comments everyone! I would have responded sooner but I ran off to the gym as soon as I hit “publish” for the post. :)
I’m glad if this post has struck the right chord with many of you — it’s good to see so many others who think along the same lines as I do!
I’ll try to check out as many of your blogs as possible and help out if I can. I encourage readers to do the same — help out the up-and-coming bloggers by giving their blogs a look, commenting when possible, even subscribing if you like what you read. It’ll make someone’s day! :)
Your Friendly Neighborhood Computer Guy Says:
October 1st, 2008, 22:52 pm
You’re truly a stand-up guy Leo. It’s easy and natural to fall into a competitive cycle and once you’re in it it’s hard to get out! But I was met in the blogging world by very generous folks and it has set me off on the right foot. We’re all in this together, as a community, growing with eachother. No one has all the answers and we can all learn from eachother.
RC@Thinkyourwaytowealth Says:
October 1st, 2008, 23:02 pm
Leo,
This is a really great thing you are doing, thanks!
My blog is about practicing smart personal finance to reach financial goals and trying to live debt free (which I am still working on!)
I know you touch on money related topics often, so any advice on content or other aspects, or a link to a helpful post I have written, from you or any other readers would be much appreciated!
The Daily Minder Says:
October 1st, 2008, 23:08 pm
HH the Dalai Lama always says a similar thing.
He thinks that if a person wants to be selfish and focused on success only they should at least do it the smart way. The smart way is by helping others and not breaking them down because this always comes back to bite you in terms of reputation, karma, etc.
Getting ahead at the expense of others simply doesn’t work in the long term.
TDM
Leo Says:
October 1st, 2008, 23:13 pm
Hey, are there any web developers who’d be willing to volunteer to help a blogger who isn’t good at Wordpress? She just needs a few tweaks to her settings and things like that. Respond in the comments and she’ll contact you through your blog.
Thanks in advance for any help!
Ana Says:
October 1st, 2008, 23:14 pm
As eveyone has said, this is such a refreshing post Leo!
One thing I noticed a good while ago on design focused blogs was many small ads for their “friends” which helped move readers from blog to blog. Decor8 is a fine example. I always wondered why I didn’t see this much on other sorts of blogs.
This is something that I would really like to do more of on mine–instead of trading or featuring just links, do a little ad. If anyone out there would like to do this, please let me know. Also do you have one Leo for Zen Habits that I could put up now?
I really like your blog Liora Hess, I’ll add it and the operationnice to my link list area.
Kimberlee Says:
October 1st, 2008, 23:23 pm
@ Liora: I sent you an email. :)
@ Maya: I commented on your blog.
This is such a great idea! I’m finding a lot of great new blogs, and adding to my ever-expanding RSS feeds. It’s worth it though! As always, Leo, you are a true inspiration.
I also personally invite anyone who would like to, to stop by my blog. Let me know if there’s areas I should improve on, or what you like about the site. I don’t bite! I’ll also check out anyone’s blog who asks, and offer my humble wisdom there as well.
Kimberlee
Simple Sapien Says:
October 1st, 2008, 23:54 pm
Mmm a very inspiring and refreshing post. I love the blogging community. It is such a great place for people to help each other, and receive help back exponentially. It is nice to know that there are successful bloggers out there such as yourself that are interested in helping others. Great post!
- Jack Rugile
Simple Sapien
Jonathan Mead Says:
October 1st, 2008, 23:58 pm
@ Leo: I’ll definitely help her out. Let her know she can contact me through my blog or you can give her my email to email directly. =)
Btw, this post is badass. I completely agree with your sentiments.
Jonathan Mead Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 0:00 am
@ Leo: One more thing, can you put in the post that I’m offer 2 125×125 spaces on my blog for free for a month?
I’ve had affiliate links up there but they haven’t really done me much good. I would rather give that to give some fellow bloggers some more exposure. They can contact me through my blog:
http://illuminatedmind.net/contact
=)
Success Professor Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 0:11 am
Leo,
What a great post. You have already been a wonderful mentor to me through your blog alone, and these offers are amazing.
You are so right that helping people only leads to more success. I just wrote an article that talks about why successful people are more willing to share and give - because they don’t view the world as competition. They see the economic pie as so big that they can help people to achieve more and then achieve more themselves - just as you suggest in this article. My article is here: http://successprofessor.ca/2008/09/29/how-big-is-the-pie/
The Daily Minder Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 0:15 am
Might be a nice idea to blog about this post on your own blogs guys as a thank you to Leo and to help promote the cause (and his PR!)
The Daily Minder
Vered - MomGrind Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 0:18 am
I suspect that I’m considerably more self-centered than you are, Leo.
I’m in it for me. I blog because blogging is fun and exhilarating and gives me a place to build my brand and speak my mind.
Sure, I make people laugh and think - but my main motivation is me me me. :)
Having said that, I completely agree that the only way to go about this blogging adventure is to help other bloggers: link to them, comment on their blogs, subscribe to their feed, and help them out in social media.
It’s actually part of the fun: connecting with other bloggers and promoting them gives me a lot of satisfaction. And yes, chances are that if you’re good to others, they will be good to you.
Tearing others down? I came across a few cases of that since I started blogging and I am always AMAZED that people do that. Indeed: what a terrible waste of time and energy.
Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 0:19 am
The idea of competition grows from a mindset of scarcity. It’s a very limiting mentality. There is more than enough to go around. When we operate from abundance and focus on adding value our world automatically opens up. If anything, competition restricts success
Daniel Allen / The Efficiancy Proposal Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 0:23 am
Miguel de Luis at eldietario.com wrote about this yesterday in the form of Amorevolezza. It was a superb article and it had a lot to do with this topic. Check it out!
Scott McIntyre Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 0:39 am
This is a very generous article, Leo- both in the sentiments expressed and in your offer to help other bloggers.
You mention that “there are lots of blog readers out there, and even more, there are MANY non-blog readers who will soon become blog readers, and that number is increasing all the time.”
As someone who has discovered the medium of blogs relatively recently, I certainly agree that so many people have yet to find out about the unique and exciting features of blogs.
Being an avid reader of quite a few blogs, my passion has been ignited to become a blogger myself.
From Day 1, I intend to adopt the generosity of spirit you so clearly express.
Everyone gains when bloggers and readers unite to help each other.
A sense of community is a powerful thing.
Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 1:51 am
“Delivering one’s brothers from the yoke is a goal worthy of both death and life.” – Leo Tolstoy
TheSatisfied Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 2:04 am
What a fantastic response to a fantastic post. You’ve really struck a chord here, Leo. I think it’s natural for people to be moved by spontaneous and unsolicited generosity. Let’s remember this tomorrow as we go about our daily lives. I imagine we’ll see similar results.
Leo, much thanks for linking to TheSatisfied on your tumblelog. It is much appreciated.
Miss Attica Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 3:01 am
What a wonderful post. It did strike a chord in me as well as many others obviously. I have just started my blog and have no idea whether or not this has any interest out there. http://missattica.blogspot.com Any feedback will be much appreciated. I live on the other side of the earth, but I see the same things as I like to dwell on also holds interest elsewhere. I often find interesting things on zenhabits.
Your insights reminded me of my favorite verse in The yoga sutras, of Patanjali, book 1, verse 33, which I will share with you:
By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and disregard toward the wicked, the mind-stuff retains its undisturbed calmness.
Glen Allsopp Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 3:14 am
So true Leo, especially when it comes to blogging. We can be jealous of other bloggers and how many feed subscribers they have, but really it should be more about realising you can achieve similar results and giving you the motivation to do just that.
Cheers,
Glen
Liara Covert Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 3:26 am
Choosing to assist others is a way to redefine connections. It is a way to send out positive energy. What you send out will come back to you forms yu do not always expect.
Daniel Erickson (Brothers Grimm Studios) Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 4:12 am
First off - Great idea Leo. I really appreciate you helping out the blogosphere. As someone that is just getting into the whole blogging experience, I know that this type of thing would be beneficial to a lot of people.
That said, I run a small web design firm. We’d love to offer our services for free to bloggers that would like a custom blog design. So anyone that is in need of a custom WordPress theme can visit our website (http://www.brothersgrimmstudios.com), and if we have some free time, we’d love to help you out.
I definitely think that more people should adopt this model for success. Once again Leo, thanks for this great idea. I’m for it 100%.
If anyone needs something, feel free to contact me.
Daniel Erickson (Brothers Grimm Studios) Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 4:18 am
In addition to above:
Forgot to give out the contact details:
Twitter: @TechWraith
e-mail: daniel [at] brothersgrimmstudios [dot] com
Blog: TechWraith.com (under construction)
But in general, I’d love to help out. Contact me, I’ll do what I can.
Jonah Lisa Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 4:20 am
Wow. You’re a real mench, Leo. Great post, as usual.
Just sent a post of mine to delicious for you on managing maternal anger. I think it could be of interest to your readers.
Alistair Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 4:47 am
Leo, I am so impressed, I just had to say something. Normally I just read and lurk, as most of the time I don’t feel I have anything to add that is different from all the other comments that spring up. But this just has to be responded to. You have done such an excellent thing here, and inspired some excellent responses from people. I have really enjoyed finding this site, and reading your articles the last few months, on and off. Not only do you have a good take on things, you get others involved via your guests, and as a result I’ve checked out quite a few sites now. That I wouldn’t have found otherwise. So, your sharing with others has already helped them in that sense, as there are other sites I now check out. And I’m reading yours more often. Living proof of the validity of your article.
I will make a suggestion. With so many people offering assistance, perhaps somewhere a list of all the offers that can be linked to, and more easily found - in case someone missed this article and the astounding generosity of spirit exemplified here. It is something that I think you want to make easily found.
But meantime, you’ve made my day. And by the volume of responses, not just mine.
Daniel Erickson (Brothers Grimm Studios) Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 4:53 am
I’d be interested in designing a site based around this concept - any takers?
I’m more of a front end guy, does anyone know some php or ruby for the backend?
Daniel Erickson (Brothers Grimm Studios) Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 4:55 am
Man, I keep forgetting stuff, must be excited:
BloggersHelpingBloggers.org ?
How does that sound?
Julie Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 6:47 am
Thanks Leo for spreading the love! Competetion usually comes from dark and threatening times when you are doubting yourself. I work with struggling teens, and comparing yourself to others is a big part of teen identity. As you grow wiser, you learn to finally approve yourself and quit looking to others for self gratification. But if you get trapped in that “I need approval from others” you are left always feeling empty and needing more-and in turn making others look bad in hopes that it makes you look better. Thank you for your helping hand and spreaking the love!
Shamelle - TheEnhanceLife Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 6:50 am
Hi Leo,
You really set the stage for all the other bloggers.
I would be honored to have you as a mentor, if you think I am worthy.
If you want a glimpse of my personality, please visit
http://www.theenhancelife.com/2008/04/about-enhance-life.html
You asked before “Are there any web developers who’d be willing to volunteer to help a blogger who isn’t good at Wordpress?”
I don’t have a wordpress blog, but I am fairly good at tweaking the blogger template. I customized my blog template myself and can help out anyone who need help with blogger templates.
Regards
Shamelle
Adrilia Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 7:31 am
Thank you, Leo. This is sooo inspiring especially when we see and feel the divisiveness that sometimes political campaigns can engender. Your post is a great reminder of what’s important. Whenever we are thinking of competition we are closed, our heart is not open. When we think of helping we are open and expansive. That in itself shifts our inner and outer states. It surely feels awesome to help and be open — and that feeling is the barometer. It’s fantastic that you are offering to help. I find that it isn’t always easy for people to ask for help or accept it. That’s the other side of the equation. I recently wrote about being willing and open to ask for what you need. The post lives at http://www.adriliavpedersen.com/ask-for-what-you-want. Thank you for the work you are doing and your powerful insights.
Mitul69 Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 7:45 am
Excellent and a pertinent point.
Over the years I have seen the magical returns of giving without expectation and have built a small, but successful software company around these very principles.
Over the years I have given much advice, consultancy, time and experience to individuals who have subsequently either taken my services on a T&M basis, or, more commonly introduced me to their network through which work has materialised. This has worked to such an extent that over the last 15 years I have not had to advertise my services at all (of course I have a website, but even that’s not updated regularly I am ashamed to admit).
More importantly, 1 in 3 of the projects we undertake are pro-bono for not-for-profit organisations and what I have seen here is that it has not only grown our revenue (through recommendations) but also added significantly to the inherent nature and well-being of our team.
It’s not that I am whimsical or have blind faith (my faith is anything but blind) but I subscribe wholeheartedly to the law of abundance.
The important thing, for me, is that when giving I do so without expectation.
Dizzle Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 7:53 am
Well, I just posted your link on twitter, so I hope that qualifies as helping you out today. I like helping others, and I agree with the attitude of your post.
Meg Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 9:45 am
@ Daniel Erickson (Brothers Grimm Studios) I think your idea sounds great. Not sure what I could actually contribute - but if there is anything I can do I would love to be involved.
MikeC Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 10:29 am
I’m never down for competing against others. I want everyone, even those in the same line of work, to be successful. So, yeah. I don’t want be seen as anyone’s enemy. Yet there are people who always seem to act as such. I like to live by you help me, I help you, we all gain.
Mad Scribbler Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 10:53 am
Leo: Great Post!
All: This is a not a new concept and contrary to popular belief, it is vital that you help others to succeed in the corporate world. It won’t work if it is done with the wrong intentions. (I’ll help you so you owe me.) People will see right through it and see you as a taker. The key is to be genuine and really want to help people.
Tabitha Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 11:01 am
what a great post and great reminders too! As a blogger, I appreciate all the words of advice!
tabitha from http://www.fromsingletomarried.com
P. Smith Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 11:02 am
My daughter recently ran a long distance race where she gave up a likely spot in the top ten to stop and help a classmate who collapsed from heat exhaustion and cramps. I am more proud of her for that than if she had come in first place.
Jennifer Lyall Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 11:16 am
Wow!
I needed this today!
I’d be happy to offer a free big box ad (300×250) on the friend’s page of my site each month. If I get it working, I’ll also include the ad on my blog page too.
My site focuses on health and wellness, and the main audience is women.
If your blog is focused on this area, and you would like to do a guest blog with a link back to your site of course, I’d be open to that conversation too!
You can contact me through the Contact us page on my website.
I’d love to have Leo as a mentor, however, I suspect that he’s going to be busy…. perhaps we should create a weekly teleconference call on Skype to reach more people:)
Then as that snowballs, we’ll start to see Leo’s inspirational week long getaways in Guam where everyone will have to write a blog post at the end of the day sharing what they’ve learned……so the love will continue to grow!
Leo, Thanks for having such a BIG HEART!
winner27 Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 11:23 am
Wow - this post and the responses are amazing! I love the generosity of this incredible blogging community. You are a true inspiration Leo! Thank you!
I am at the same stage as Scott McIntyre - I love reading blogs such as yours and have been inspired to give it a go myself. Could you or anyone else point me in the direction of resources that would tell me where to start?
Thanks so much!
Laurie | Express Yourself to Success Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 11:23 am
What a thoughtful and inspiring post - thank you Leo. I could go on about how much I like and agree with your three points, but what I really, really liked was that instead of wrapping up with something vague and generic like ‘if there’s something I can do for you, just let me know,’ you took the initiative (not surprising!) and stated what you could do and are more than willing to do for others. You actively extended your hand to help. Bravo!
And you’ve got me thinking about what I can do to help - I appreciate that. Thanks, Leo.
Daphne Lim Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 11:41 am
Leo, this is the second time I’ve visited your blog and am again wow’ed by your truly Zen spirit. You’ve named your blog well and are certainly a shining example of what being zen means - the ability to let go of so many things that others cling to, because you realise the frailty of our human attachment to things, ego etc.
I’ve been blogging less than two months (www.joyfuldays.com) and am so new that I don’t even know what help I need! Mentoring would be wonderful, but then you’re already doing that in a way just by being a wonderful example. I’m so grateful I found your blog!
P Smith, your daughter has a big heart and with young people like her around, the future of our world is in good hands!
Betsy Wuebker Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 11:43 am
Simply wow. Leo, your Karma account has mushroomed and exploded, raining goodness. And how fun it is to see what have become familiar faces in the comments before this one.
Pete and I would be honored by any attention or suggestions. We are also able to return the favor, not as blogging experts by any means, but with a thoughtful evaluation or cheerful encouragement.
Best posts are the ones that have me or others wiping a tear, no? Outside, Seeing http://passingthru.com/?p=244 is one, and yours today is another.
Thank you.
Teal Marie Chimblo Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 11:51 am
Hi Leo-
You have inspired so many already, this is great! I would also love to link to any fellow bloggers. I write about yoga, meditation and gratitude in two of my blogs, and about art in the other (I’m a yoga teacher and artists). Just leave a comment/with request, or email me.
Leo, i’ve linked to you from my Daily Gratitude Blog, and my Tumblr. Thanks again.
http://dailygratitudeblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/great-reminder.html
blisschick Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 12:03 pm
Way to live your bliss and be the change, Leo!
I, too, am continually amazed at the community that is to be found in our blogging world. I’m fairly new (April of this year), and I wasn’t sure what to expect.
The main thing I’ve learned — and something I tell people who don’t “get” the blogging thing — is that there is nothing “virtual” about this community.
Thank you for being such an amazing and generous example to others.
jonathan Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 13:15 pm
Leo, what your doing is bold and wonderful. It takes a brave person to commit to such generosity. I hope people use it in the spirit with which you are giving it.
Maria | Never the Same River Twice Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 13:31 pm
Does anyone else sense a serious shift coming? This is just one more drop in what is getting to be a very large bucket.
I would by happy to offer 2 125×125 ads on my site: http://blog.neverthesamerivertwice.com. My niche is personal and organization change management. If you have a personal development, HR, or change management site we probably have audience crossover.
Samira al Thores Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 13:40 pm
Nice post. It really came at a great time for me, personally and professionally, because it is performance evaluation time. I am a research scientist and many of my colleagues are in a race for fame and money (it’s a catch-22) and believe that there is only one winner. I like collaborative projects because the sum is more than the parts. Your post offers me affirmation and validation for my chosen path. I might not get “there” first, but I will get there with all of my team. Thanks.
Blue Raincoat Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 14:28 pm
Hi,
This post has made me think of some more subtle ways of revealing the “competing” attitude, often hardly visible for others. Say, you always want to be the best and every time someone seems to take an advantage of something (deserved or not deserved - in your opinion) it makes you mad. You don’t harm others in that obvious way anyone quite intelligent can see (actually you normally help them whenever you can) but you tend to be unplesant, frustrated, add a word here and there (and are not worried when they not do well…) It’s difficult to call it bad mouthing but in a way it is. Unless the person is very vulnerable, your behaviour may not particularly harm them, but you do harm to yourself all the time.
Competing is maybe not the most accurate description of this, it’s more of feeling you are in danger and you need to defend yourself. But those often seem to be like two sides of the same coin.
So helping and helping with sincerity and true kindness are not necessarily the same thing.
(It’s not only from introspection, it’s from observation too - poor things :-)).
Really happy I came across you blog some time ago, Leo.
Robert Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 14:30 pm
Hi all.
Since there are offers of help, I would like to take up on that if anyone is ok with it.
Basically I’m trying to help my wife prepare a business plan (as part of her personal development plan) to help her new law firm office in the middle east survive and acquire business in the view of the credit crunch. Being a new employee she had to fight sceptics and doubters despite her enormous contribution before even joining.
Would like to prove that a woman is just as capable in this male dominated firm. Anyway I have the basic structure, so all I really need is any pointers to consider when writing such plans. Links, tips etc would be much appreciated.
Thanks
Robert Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 14:34 pm
Hi Leo
Realised I was bit rude in not acknowledging your efforts and blog.
I enjoy reading through the blog for ideas and links to all issues in life( and yes I do use some of them), even for the pleasurable habit of just reading
Thanks again
Sarah Hudson Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 15:13 pm
Leo,
I’ve been a reader for a very long time now and I have to say, this is the first time I haven’t agreed with just about everything you’ve said. I completely understand your point about success not being a competition with others. But, I think you’re leaving out an enormous point here!
I seriously believe that no one can be successful without being in competition consistently in their life. The competition I’m talking about though, is not with others, but it’s within YOURSELF. Everyone has to be competitive with themselves in some way if they want to be successful at all!
That’s exactly what goals are molded with: competition within yourself WITH yourself. I can’t ever achieve any goal unless I compete with my current state of living. No one can. If my goal is to be the most successful blogger on the internet as you talked about, or the fastest triathlete at my next race and set a personal record (a true goal of mine), you’re right, achieving that goal should have nothing to do with taking down a competitor or being jealous of another. It only deals with the competitor in you! What are you going to do to get better? Or to even be the best at what you do? To achieve your goals?
I know I’ve been training my butt off the past couple of months for my next race, and because I’ve won first at my last 2, I’m pretty confident I have a shot at winning it again. But if I don’t, and if I still set a personal record, I will be thrilled! If someone else wins and they’re better than me, I can’t help that. I won’t be upset as long as I did my best and achieved my personal goal. What’s crucially important is that I continually set a goal for myself and work hard to achieve it by competing with who I was and am before the next time I work at that goal. And when I achieve it, I set a new one.
I truly feel that is the method of success. It’s simply finding inspiration to accel in something (whether it’s a sport, a job, or anything else in life!), setting a goal (or more than one) for yourself, then COMPETING with yourself to achieve it.
Bottom line is, if you don’t compete with yourself, you can’t win. And if you compete and you still don’t “win” so to speak, you’re often much farther than where you used to be- as long as you gave an honest effort. You will have learned something, gained more experience, and strengthened your beliefs even more in terms of the best/right way to do things in life. We have all the control in the world over executing this method in all we do, no matter what others are doing. Eventually, what others are doing won’t matter much to your personal goals anyway because afterall, they’re not who you’re truly competing with. They shouldn’t be anyway if all you can control is you.
Chad Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 15:36 pm
While the message that is being conveyed by this post is fairly simple and straightforward, it’s important to remember that some things that are conveyed simply don’t always end up being simple to implement. Even though you as an individual will be striving to uplift yourself and those around you, the people you are uplifting may just be taking advantage of your kindness, may stomp you to the ground the first chance they get, or may never actually pay any sort of gratitude or appreciation toward your actions even if they directly benefited from them. This is the world we live in and it is realistic to keep this in mind.
This is why it is important to take heed of the most crucial message here: when lifting others up, when helping others succeed, when going out of your way for the less fortunate — LET GO of any desires or expectations as to what those actions will yield for you as some sort of reward. Allow the act of kindness be it’s own thing, like a gift you give to a young child at christmas. In doing this, any disappointment… any feelings of being trampled, used, taken advantage of… will be non-existant, because they have no negative seeds to grow from.
Pay no mind to those who want to abuse the kindness of others… what goes around, comes around… :)
Olivia Kuhn-Lloyd Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 15:42 pm
Great post. A strong, clear message that I try to practice. Helping others feels great and it absolutely benefits me at some point or in some way (even if it’s just the practice of being generous).
Thanks Leo!
CathD Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 16:05 pm
Hi everyone,
Leo - thanks for sharing about sharing!
It’s great to see so many people being so generous. I would like to offer my writing skills for anyone looking for content on personal development/ transformation/ changing your thinking/ success/ living a significant life/ leadership. To see my writing style, check out my blog at http://www.mineyourthoughts.blogspot.com.
My challenge is wrapping my head around the various technologies related to blogging and getting my blog known - I’d love to take up any offers for advertising or to guest post on blogs that share similar audiences. My audience are people who are already quite successful and are wanting to ensure that they live a significant life - not just a life that looks “good on paper.”
Blue Raincoat Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 16:30 pm
About competition - I think you can always define some words in such a way that makes the notion something dreadful or something nice and funny. You can compete to always win, no matter the cost of youself and others, and you can compete with you friend on the other side of the ping pong table to have some real fun that makes you both even closer in your friendship.
But I think when we say about competition with yourself in a way Sarah described it, it’s… not very zen like. There’s something about making an opposition of “bad” you now and “better” you when you achieve your goal or make a step toward it. So I think it’s safer to describe your goal pursuit in some different nomenclature :)
Daniel Erickson (Brothers Grimm Studios) Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 16:46 pm
@Meg
We just started working on the prototype last night, we’d love to get some input and we’re going to need beta testers. Also, if you know any Ruby on Rails developers, that would help too. I’ll see about contacting you through your site as well - not sure if you’re going to check back in or not.
If anyone else would like to help out, that would be awesome. The more the better, and the faster this will pick up. We hope to have a beta up within a few months or so.
Check in with me if you have any questions.
Daniel Erickson (Brothers Grimm Studios) Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 17:25 pm
Its me again.
We just made a Twitter account for our Bloggers helping Bloggers idea.
We’ve named it karmafeed, you can follow us @karmafeed on twitter.
Jamie R Lentzner Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 17:46 pm
Thank you for this post - I needed it today! I love helping others too - at no charge and just being able to help another is so uplifting. I love highlighting other blogs and telling where I learned my lessons. Also I use Twitter to sometimes send peole to a blog, a site or a store. I can’t wait to post about this - your post is GREAT!
Still Life in Buenos Aires Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 18:00 pm
I’m getting a little teary reading the post and everyone’s comments. What great energy.
On badmouthing: An old coworker had a sign in his cubicle that stated, “Never say anything about someone that you feel compelled to whisper to others.” I thought this was so simple and amazing. It’s something I want to practice.
Cheers, everyone.
SEOAly Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 18:08 pm
This post has certainly struck a chord with your readers. I believe this philosophy of cooperation instead of competition is applicable to many areas of our lives…not just relating to business.
You have a beautiful blog and I applaud your effort to “pay it forward” with your “Zen Habits Helping Hand Program”. What a great idea. I have been wanting to break free from corporate back-biting and politics for some time.
In such an uncertain economy it’s not easy to save enough money to live on once the steady paychecks stop while simultaneously having to spend everything you make just to live! I hope at some point to be in a position to pursue my own philanthropic aspirations of funding college educations for students lacking the money to pay for higher education…but I’ll need to find a modicum of success in the world of the self-employed before I can achieve that.
What information would be required for you to consider making a donation to a struggling entrepreneur? :) Just out of curiosity…
FrugalNYC Says:
October 2nd, 2008, 20:30 pm
Leo, you continue to show such inspiration to all your readers. Perhaps there will be a page in history for you ;)
I can relate to much of this article. I’ve gotten visitors to my blog via your blog and others that I frequent and comment on. Its more like compound interest rather than a Zero-sum game.
Many people still believe in job security by obscurity. Hiding or keeping supposed knowledge that only they know. I’m totally on the side of sharing the information so others can do the same job. They may not do it the exact same way or do it as well, perh