A Croc Ate My Homework

Enter Religion

2016-03-25T18:10:00.001-04:00

Let me begin this post by saying that if you're easily offended by differing opinions on religion you may wish to stop now and turn back...

While I was raised in a Christian family, my views have evolved as I've grown mentally and spiritually. My children range from believers to atheists and I'm somewhere in between.

I lean more toward believing in science and science tells us we're made of energy and that we are conscious beings.

I believe the essence of that energy to be pure love. I also believe in a collective Universal consciousness which I suppose could be translated into the divine Creator of all things. So by that rationale I suppose it would be accurate to say that we are the Creator and that as individuals we are also the sons of God/Creator/Universe you get the idea... We're going down the rabbit hole a little I know but stay with me. I absolutely promote unconditional love between all life forms. I believe that the energy of living things never dies, only changes form. I believe we've had throughout history some enlightened masters who were aware of these things (Jesus and Buddha for example.) I believe there are Universal laws that may have, over the years been twisted into various religious teachings. For example intention and gratitude are sometimes viewed as prayer and giving thanks to God. And that's fine... until we start harming our children by instilling fear into them, shaming them for just being human, dividing them into imaginary groups, pitting them against one another and fostering hate and violence all in the name of religion. Then no, at that point I have to go with organized religion was created as a means to control the population and is a great source of pain and suffering for humanity. It's not so much the salvation we can sometimes be sold on in the shiny pamphlets. Which brings me to this...

Sitting around the lunch table a few days ago, I asked the children and their friends which they thought came first, consciousness or matter. The conversation soon took a theological turn at which point Tristan asked how some people could be so gullible as to become religiously indoctrinated.

I explained to him that such beliefs are passed down through many generations as absolute truth. Most "God fearing" Christians would never question the authority of their parents, teachers or church... precisely the purpose of the whole thing. He was beginning to see where I was coming from.

We respectfully discussed each child's take on religion and the early influences that shaped those beliefs. Tristan expressed gratitude to me for giving him the freedom to develop his own beliefs and Miss Evan threw in that she always thought her Catholic school was simply giving her the facts so she's not entirely sure what to make of it all. She never thought to question it (the main reason we decided to leave the school system, she was so obedient it was affecting her ability to think for herself.) Their older brother, as far as I know, remains a believer largely due to a strong Catholic influence from his father's side. Evan's friend, bless her little cotton socks, is pretty much up for anything conversationally so the subject held her interest well enough.

As we chatted, I recalled the movie Zeitgeist containing some interesting history on the subject so we conjured that up and took it all in together. Ooh's and ahh's occurred throughout and we even went on to watch part of the sequel. (Well, until uncontrollable laughter broke out at Tristan's impersonation of Jiddu Krishnamurti!)

Aside from learning that we've been deceived when it comes to so many things, the point of all this is once again, freedom... freedom for kids to research, to learn and to form one's own opinions. It's huge, I mean who are we to impose our own beliefs on our children? It's difficult to avoid a certain amount of collectivism in society but I think being more aware of all the ways we unwittingly enslave our offspring is the first step toward change.

My three children, each with their own twist on our origins and the meaning of life would never blindly accept my version of things just because I am their parent and I couldn't be happier about that.

A Place For Formal Instruction

2016-01-06T10:48:00.001-05:00

Whenever I'm asked when and how we incorporate formal instruction into life learning, I always say "When it flows... and however it fits." It has to fit. Here's a perfect example of how this whole life learning thing works and where formal instruction fits in.

Sitting around a few nights ago in our pj's, having a chat about where we would like to travel to next, the subject of latitude and longitude came up. Seems we all had something in common, none of us could define them. For them it was because they've never been exposed to the concept and for me it was a far too common case of simply having forgotten the fifth grade lesson I endured on the subject at a time when it meant absolutely nothing to me. I retained the information being taught only long enough to pass a standardized test. Of course I've long since forgotten, until now.

It was with sheer enthusiasm that we all dove in and participated in this very interesting geography lesson. Miss Evan ran for her tiny but useful globe and Mister Twister hurried off to fetch the worksheets I printed to guide us.

Together we read the definitions and proceeded to work through the attached problems to ensure full understanding of how to calculate latitude and longitude, how to estimate distance between locations on a map using the 111km rule and how to read and determine coordinates. I must say, it was hard to believe I ever passed any test on this subject. I had very little recollection of it and found myself a bit flustered; Tristan had to clarify the proper way to calculate for me. Initially I had the entire length of South America being 600 km!

Good thing he has great common sense/reasoning skills. He was able to notice something was off immediately with my calculation. I love the way he presented it to me too... he didn't simply blurt out what I was doing wrong. He asked me the distance between home and Toronto, then he asked me to point to both locations on the globe. Then he suggested I take another look at the size of South America and perhaps change my answer. Surprisingly, the kid might make a great teacher one day :)

Not only did we complete those but we continued on, taking turns giving the coordinates of places we've visited. At this point they were still pretty engaged so we started a game (100% initiated by the children) in which we spun the globe, randomly touched a spot, estimated the lat/long and then properly calculated to see how accurate our estimations were.

I finally got it! (I ended up estimating my current position on the map within 2 degrees of my actual location.) Miss Evan (and the dog) lost interest at that point so I continued this game for a while with Tristan, each of us eagerly helping the other calculate our answers. We had a riot, it was a great way to spend an evening and although there was learning involved, even formal learning (anything involving a worksheet is formal as far as I'm concerned) we all had fun, no one complained or felt forced to participate against their will. Evan was allowed to drop out of the activity when she felt like leaving, no pressure to stay.

The benefit to this is that she now has grasped the fundamentals of the subject in such a way that she'll be far more likely to retain it. We can continue building on her new knowledge as she shows interest. It has proven time and again to be a far more effective way of learning.

This is just one example of the many opportunities for a little formal instruction. Usually, kids are none the wiser either. When recounting their evening to grandma the next day, I over heard them simply describing a lot of fun and games, not a word about "school work". Exactly how it should be :)

Lifesaving 101

2015-12-13T12:38:00.001-05:00

Here's a flashback to the time we learned CPR and First Aid with the Belize Red Cross at Fido's in San Pedro.

Living on a remote island means basic first aid skills are a must. Our little island had a few doctors and a decent sized polyclinic with the capacity to perform routine medical tests and treat minor ailments however there were no emergency services on that island, no hospital and as far as I was concerned, no peace of mind.

I stayed awake many a night wondering what would become of us should a medical emergency arise outside of the clinic hours. Sure, a neighbor would likely race off in their golf cart to go fetch Dr. Dan who would likely patch us up nicely or bring the appropriate medication and in a life threatening situation we could pay the $500 USD for B.E.R.T. (Belize Emergency Response Team) to fly us to Karl Heusner Memorial Hospital in Belize City however even there, first world medical care is not really available. One has to travel to Guatemala or Mexico for that. So you see the importance of knowing how to respond to a choking emergency for example. It really could be the difference between life and death for one of us, a visiting tourist or a local neighbor. You never know, which is why the SP Red Cross felt it so important to equip residents of the island with this basic knowledge. We had NO disaster response team on the island either. In a place with frequent hurricanes and at least one earthquake while we lived there, I thought it was rather alarming.

Needless to say, I was eager to sign up for this class and couldn't be happier with the decision. The instructors came over from the mainland for the day to provide this very valuable training. They were incredibly friendly, funny and suprisingly knowledgeable. I guess sometimes being in a less than 100% developed country tends to make me forget that intelligent life is often more abundant the further away from civilization you get.

We learned a ton from this experience and most of all gained some peace of mind. I think we've all been sleeping a little better since and I highly recommend doing this as a family no matter where you live.

The Surprising Ways That Children Learn

2015-12-08T19:13:00.001-05:00

This post is in no way meant to be boastful or to convince you that one way is better than another. I'm simply having one of those moments that unschooling parents relish in. We are so often drilled and scolded about what our children are learning by well meaning friends and family that even the most confident of us will second guess our decision to forego a standard curriculum. It is okay to sport a huge shit eating grin when not only our intelligent decision making skills but our gut instincts about our own children are validated by some shocking revelation of their intelligence and character.

To you this may look like a simple board game but it was a huge moment of validation for me.

Miss Evan was under the weather last week after returning from her recent trip to the Dominican so she invited a friend over for an easy night of chillin. (A formally schooled friend of the same age.)

We decided to bust out the Game of Life, and granted, this is one of our favorites but I had no idea just how much the kids are absorbing from a simple board game.

As we began to play, Evan had to explain the fundamentals of the game to her friend. This is completely understandable considering her friend isn't as familiar with it as we are. Fine. The game continued and something quickly became apparent. Her friend continued to ask for help but it clearly wasn't out of laziness or disinterest. She was making a genuine attempt to win but for the life of her (no pun intended) she couldn't read the instructions on each space or do the fairly simple math involved in "paydays" etc.

Now Evan can be brutally honest at times so once my shock wore off I became concerned for a moment that she might say something insulting. Thank goodness, she did not, rather she continued to assist, sitting up to read the spaces, do the math and give her friend education, career, insurance and investment advice as we proceeded to finish out the game.

As I sat in silence I was utterly amazed to hear my little "Squeaky" matter of factly spewing the benefits of insuring your home. (Well, because the $10,000 your insurance will cost you is way less than what you'll have to pay if you have a fire. Thank you for that insight.)

Well big deal you might say and okay she didn't break into the tax advantages of a 401k but what she did display was critical thinking skills. I watched as she considered different options, checked out the board to determine different odds and calculated (whether by actual numbers or an estimation) to come up with the most sensible action.

I guess what really made me take notice was the way her friend sat, completely blank, waiting to be told what to do. It was more that than the way she struggled with the reading and math. It was the fact that she lacked maybe the confidence or the motivation or the desire to try to figure it out. And bless her little cotton socks, I just love this kid. I am in no way happy to point out her shortcomings. Evan did very well academically in the French school she attended for four years so I'm not saying that continuing on that path would have caused her to have a worse outcome or to not be able to think but I am saying that even when we remove that element children can still learn and thrive.

Kids Creating Change

2015-11-24T13:02:00.000-05:00

Say what you will but I love the power of technology. I love how the internet can bring about change not only by uniting those with similar interests and causes but by shedding light on issues that have been in the dark for far too long.

This guy, for example... I love him and his message. We need education reform and we need it now! I would love for my kids to have the option to share a creative space in the world with other beings of all ages and cultures with whom they could learn from and with. A space void of clocks and measuring tools but rich in opportunities for engagement and experience.

I've often dreamed of starting my own "school" if you will and I could go on about my vision but I'll save that for another post. Enjoy this video :)

Lyrics:

I wasn’t taught how to get a job
but I can remember dissecting a frog
I wasn’t taught how to pay tax
but I know loads about Shakespeare's classics

I was never taught how to vote
they devoted that time to defining isotopes
I wasn’t taught how to look after my health
but mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Never spent a lesson on current events
instead I studied The Old American West
I was never taught what laws there are.
I was never taught what laws there are.

Let me repeat - I was not taught the laws for the country I live in,
but I know how Henry the VIII killed his women.
Divorced beheaded died, divorced beheaded survived
glad that’s in my head instead of financial advice

I was shown the wavelengths of different hues of light
but I was never taught my human rights
Apparently there’s 30, do you know them? I don’t
Why the hell can’t we both recite them by rote?!

I know igneous, metamorphic and sedimentary rocks
Yet I don’t know squat about trading stocks
Or how money works at all - where does it come from?
Who controls it? How does the thing that motivates the world function?

not taught how to budget and disburse my earnings
I was too busy rehearsing cursive.
Didn’t learn how much it costs to raise a kid or what an affidavit is
but I spent days on what the quadratic equation is

negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared
minus 4ac over 2a
That’s insane, that’s absolutely insane.
They made me learn that over basic first aid

How to recognise the most deadly Mental disorders // or
diseases with preventable causes // How to buy a
house with a mortgage // if I could afford it
‘cause abstract maths was deemed more important

than advice that would literally save thousands of lives
but it’s cool, ‘cause now I could tell you if the number of unnecessary deaths caused by that choice was prime.

Never taught present day practical medicines,
but I was told what the ancient hippocratic method is
“I’ve got a headache, the pain is ceaseless
what should I take?” umm... maybe try some leeches?

“Could we discuss domestic abuse and get the facts
or how to help my depressed friend with their mental state?”
Ummm... no but learn mental maths
because “you won’t have a calculator with you every day!”

They say it’s not the kids, the parents are the problem
Then if you taught the kids to parent that’s the problem solved then!
All this advice about using a condom
but none for when you actually have a kid when you want one

I’m only fluent in this language, for serious?
The rest of the world speaks two, do you think I’m an idiot?
They chose the solar over the political system
So like a typical citizen now I don’t know what I’m voting on

which policies exist, or how to make them change
mais oui, je parle un peu de Francais
So at 18, I was expected to elect a representative
For a system I had never ever ever ever been presented with

But I won’t take it
I’ll tell everyone my childhood was wasted
I’ll share it everywhere how I was “educated”
And insist these pointless things

#DontStayInSchool

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Holiday Eggnog Simplified

2015-11-10T12:43:00.001-05:00

Mister Twister comes through again, this time with his simplified version of everyone's favourite holiday classic. With a chill in the air it was a perfect evening for it. While I stoked the fired, he researched and taste tested and came up with his own very delicious and easy to make eggnog.

If you'd like to try it, this is what you'll need:

8 egg yolks

2/3 cup white death (sugar)

4 cups whole milk

2 cups heavy cream

2 teaspoons freshly grated nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Directions:

In a large bowl, beat the egg yolks until they lighten in color. Gradually add the sugar and beat until sugar is dissolved and mixture starts to thicken. Add remaining ingredients and give it a good "whupping" as Miss Evan would say. Then chill before serving. That's it!

Enjoy :)

Fort Creepy

2015-10-24T11:50:00.001-04:00

We had a great time last night at Fort Malden Historical Site. A ghost walk with friends was the perfect way to spend our Friday night. We started the evening with a little history about the area and its role in the War of 1812.

Then the scares began... As we toured each of the buildings at the site we were met with ghostly stories of days gone by and the odd popup, just to keep things interesting.

It was nice to go in and out of the buildings since temps were down around 50 degrees last night.

We ended the night with a little silliness, as always!

A Lesson In Business

2015-10-24T11:14:00.001-04:00

Tristan's been busy over the past few months working on a new business venture. He's extremely money motivated so I guess I always knew it wouldn't be long before he dove into some kind of revenue generating activity. Lord knows I can't keep up with his expensive taste.

He's selling the latest fad gadgets on an ecommerce website. To him, this is a fantastically fun way to earn some extra spending cash. I'm not sure he's even aware of how enriching this project has been for him.

We spend hours poring over comparisons from different suppliers, factoring in things like product costs, shipping, returns and then using all that data to price his products and develop his own store policies.

He had to research the tax rules of operating an ecommerce business in Canada and set tax rates accordingly for each area. He had to learn quickly what terms like MOQ, FOB and drop shipping mean.

He's learned how to track his website's stats and market through social media. He's learned how to create a budget and track expenses.

He's also learning that sometimes there are more meaningful reasons to succeed. He recently mentioned forgoing his first smart board so he can offer it to someone who would be shocked and amazed to call it his own. (This doesn't surprise me since Tristan is the most compassionate of all my children... he might be the first to lose his temper when he's overwhelmed but he's also the first to make a sacrifice when something tugs at his heartstrings.)

I couldn't be more proud of him right now for seeing this through. I wish him the best in his new venture!

Happy Canada Day!

2015-07-01T14:02:00.000-04:00

We're out here enjoying the beautiful weather, fun attractions and cool reenactments at Fort Malden Historical Site in Amherstburg, Ontario.

It used to be Fort Amherstburg back in the days of General Brock and Chief Tecumseh. This is where they met to plan the siege of Detroit. So cool...

There's tons to see and do for all ages.

We're getting schooled on how it all went down.

Plenty of time for some food, trinket shopping and burning off some energy before the fireworks tonight!

Love these girls!

We hope you're having a super fun and educational Canada Day!

Back To School?

2014-09-02T12:14:00.000-04:00

The day after Labour Day always evokes in me a real sense of gratitude that we have the freedom to make our own educational choices. Today is no different. It's been three years and as so many of our friends return to the confines of a brick & mortar school, we're still totally digging our unschooling lifestyle.

Today I'm spending my morning eating a BBQ chicken leg with salad and refried black beans, cursing Ontario's insurance laws for my lack of options in the refrigerator and relaxing with some Diana Krall. Shortly I'll get ready to go suffer through a visit to my physiotherapy clinic. The upside is the mountain of heating pads they surround me in to loosen things up. I've confessed to the girls over there that the heat and hot wax are the only reasons I show up to take the hour and a half of abuse from them.

Mister Twister is fast asleep still at 11 am, which is fine with me and Diana. A little morning peace never hurt anyone. He'll be stirring soon enough to drive me bonkers with a steady stream of crazy Russian Hacker videos or "did you know" facts before he drags me outside to watch him leap from our rooftop to the trampoline a few times... in the rain. And that's fine too since it's about all I get these days before he turns from David Banner into a raging green Hulk.

Miss Evan is finally coming to spend a few days with us here at our little country "hideout" where I've been convalescing. She's showing an interest in learning a bit more formally so I'm going to help her get set up with some online math and English courses. It's going to be a very long but ultimately very rewarding day, each of us doing exactly what we want (or need) to be doing without the stress of having to schedule our day around an obnoxious bell.

Tristan mentioned to me just the other day that "School takes up your whole day, leaving very little time for the important things." I had to chuckle at the truth in that statement. When I reflect on our days as bricks in the proverbial wall we never seemed to have time for anything. Every day was a rush, even the weekends were a race to get everything done so we could do it all over again the following week. I know some folks thrive on that sort of rigid structure in their lives or at least believe they do but we are definitely seekers of a more unique and individualistic lifestyle.

Although learning never begins or ends for us, I like to use this time of year to reassess our individual and family goals, research ways we can achieve those goals and implement new ideas that we've maybe been tossing around but haven't put into action. It's an awesome feeling to watch the kids take great pleasure in the whole process; it generates excitement for the coming year and gets everyone involved.

I hope that however you and yours are spending the first day back to school, it is an enjoyable, rewarding day that fills you with a sense of gratitude for the freedom to make your own educational choices.

In The Blink Of An Eye

2014-08-28T11:19:00.000-04:00

In the blink of an eye... everything can change. Can and did, on the 3rd of July.

"The Accident"

I was driving a country road, one I had taken often. One that had always brought to mind the possibility of a collision due to the 80 km/hr speed limits and lack of visibility on these tree lined back roads. Being the freak that I am, I normally slow down a bit as I approach each intersection but on that particular morning, of course, I did not. It was a beautiful July day, the sun was shining, temps were already climbing into the 80's, I had the road to myself and I was just sailing happily along. Not the kind of day you need to slow down and look both ways when you have the right of way. Nahhh...

I was about 5 minutes from my destination when I glanced down at the car radio for a time check. Upon returning my eyes to the road, literally in the blink of an eye, I saw a car fast approaching me from the right at a 90 degree angle. Somehow the driver had not seen the big red stop sign that was surely glaring at her obnoxiously from the corner of that road. She made no attempt to brake and in that brief moment as I watched the gap narrow between us I closed my eyes, accepted that death was most likely imminent and braced myself for impact.

Surprisingly, after what seemed like being rocket launched into a brick wall, I felt the borrowed vehicle that I'd been driving roll to a bumpy stop. I opened my eyes and discovered that I was in a farmer's field and very much alive. My victory jig would have to wait though, the car was filling with smoke and I was sure I saw small yet distinct red flames dancing just above the hood. Panicked and in a state of shock I unfastened my seat belt and tried to open my door but it was jammed; my next move was for the passenger door which was also jammed. While I was over there I tried the passenger window but unfortunately the button had broken off. I then moved back to the driver's side and managed to get the window down enough to climb out. I went out head first and landed on the somewhat soft, dry dirt below. I climbed to my feet, confused and disoriented. I couldn't process why I was missing one of my new Nike Free 5.0's...

As I attempted to move a safe distance from my vehicle which was now rumbling and emitting some sort of strange grunting sounds I just kept falling to the ground. I repeatedly got back up and moved a few feet before once again collapsing and ending up on my knees in the dirt. I became aware of a man in a business suit, he was sort of following me and talking on his cell phone. He approached me cautiously and advised that I was in shock and may be injured. He encouraged me to remain seated on the ground until EMS arrived.

And injured I was... it took a few minutes after I was out of the vehicle to realize I was experiencing a crushing pain in my chest. It was very painful just to breathe let alone speak. This made walking very difficult and I ended up taking the good Samaritan's advice and stayed put. It was extremely difficult as this sort of event is guaranteed to trigger a whopper of a panic attack in me. My monkey mind was in overdrive and for the third time that morning I thought I was going to die. This time right there in the dirt. Just sitting there was allowing me to feel the pain... and have all those awful thoughts. So in an attempt to keep my mind and body occupied I tried to locate some of my personal items. My phone, purse, missing sneaker... not able to explain my motives to the nice man in the field, I just repeatedly asked him where my things were and told him I needed to make a call. He assisted me with my quest for the items and making the call. He continued to speak to someone on his phone from time to time and would then reassure me that help was on the way. This being a rural area, it took a very long time for emergency workers to arrive on scene.

EMS, Fire Dept. and Ontario Provincial Police did finally make an appearance and I was taken to a nearby emergency room where they checked for any internal damage caused by the impact to my chest. Once the attending doc was certain there were no issues with my heart, I was patched up, prescribed some evil pharmaceuticals and released.

"The Aftermath"

The following days and weeks were a painful blur. The loss of my autonomy was the most frustrating part of the experience for me. Those that know me well can tell you that my workaholic tendencies will likely be the death of me. I never sit still so being restricted in my daily activities was (and continues to be) a fucking NIGHTMARE! Please don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful to still be here. Things could have been a lot worse for me that day. The reality is, however that I AM here and I now have to deal with a lengthy physical recovery, a recurrence of acute panic attacks, some serious financial setbacks and probably the worst of it all is the impact it's had on the kids.

Please allow me to vent for a moment... with the exception of 2 or 3 occasions, I haven't really seen Miss Evan in two months. She has a very full dance card and I'm now unable to play taxi driver and sleepover hostess for her and her friends so she's been staying with Grandma. This temporary solution alleviates the immediate concern of her day to day care but has created a whole new set of other issues. I've had to cancel a long list of planned outings/activities for July and August which pretty much make up our summer here in SWO. Other than the first week or so following the accident which he spent with my mom, this has left Master Tristan with very little to do. With his issues he doesn't handle disappointment well. He also doesn't have the social circle that Evan does and it is always more difficult to occupy him. Over the past 5 weeks I've watched him become withdrawn and isolate himself in his room, declining offers to hang out with me. This isn't surprising given that he's become quite angry with me over all this upset... as though it was somehow my doing. The end result has been extensive damage to our home and even some physical aggression toward me. It breaks my heart to see all the progress we've made over the past several years go out the window in the blink of an eye.

"Moving Forward"

All I can do is take each day as it comes and work toward a speedy recovery. I've been managing the pain with a combination of those evil pharmaceuticals, some natural anti-inflammatory products, meditation, Reiki and when all else fails... my awesome heating pad and yes, even that thing I hate most, good old fashioned rest. A few more weeks of physiotherapy and we'll be able to reassess my injuries and my ability to return to normal activities. For the sake of the kids and that of my sanity, please wish me luck!

We're Baaacck!

2014-03-21T15:30:00.001-04:00

Howdy y'all! It's great to be back :) It's been a crazy busy year for us but things are beginning to settle down a bit. We've moved to yet another beautiful, new little corner of the world... I've had a change in my career and the kids of course are enjoying new discoveries everywhere amid all the changes.

So what's new with us?
My recent 4 yr stint as Marketing & Account Manager for a sub-prime auto leasing company came to an end last spring. It was the perfect position for me as it required me to work from a home office which really meant that I was able to work from the playground, or airport or Mexican beach... you get the idea. So when the company president decided it was time to retire and wind things down, I kept my ear to the ground for something similarly flexible that would suit our unschooling, nomadic lifestyle.

I struck gold with a new company that specializes in commercial equipment leasing. After a few meetings with the President and Vice President, I was crowned my new title of "Commercial Lease Consultant". The upside: given the high price tags of most commercial equipment (think tractors, farm equipment and long-haul trucking), this new opportunity is far more lucrative than the previous business I was in. A little more competitive but worth the time and effort put into building a solid network of vendors and clients. The downside: Starting over... building a new network takes time and until it reaches a comfortable level, I've been moonlighting to ease the stress of this birthing stage. (Hence my disappearing act... putting in 70 hour work weeks has been exhausting!)

We're loving our new location... it's serving as a home base. We plan to stay in this lovely old farmhouse until the aforementioned network is thriving and then take shorter, more frequent trips to all the places we want to experience. We plan to keep the place in Canada this time to spare ourselves the added challenge of dragging our entire lives around with us in a suitcase. I'm also thinking that our Belizean adoptee will stay put during our future adventures too. He does not enjoy air travel and besides, he's found a new friend here to keep him company.

As always, I am excited about what the future holds for us and absolutely thrilled to have some free time again to share our adventures, challenges and crazy thoughts!

Stay tuned...

Rough Night

2013-02-20T14:59:00.000-05:00

It's been one of those nights... 8 yr old "Sissy" started complaining of an upset stomach around 8 pm last night. Shortly thereafter she proceeded to vomit chocolate Shakeology all over my new red chair. Of course there was very little bathroom tissue and no paper towels in the house as I was planning a major cross-border grocery shopping trip today and didn't bother to restock. Fortunately I had just finished washing, drying and folding most of our bath and kitchen towels so we went through all of those in a matter of 20 minutes, cleaning up vomit from my chair, Sissy's face and hair and we can't forget the bathroom floor.

Meanwhile, "Mister Twister" was at a friend's house expecting to be picked up at 9... I spoke with said friend's mother who confided in me that she had a hard day at work and was 5 beers deep. Not wanting to chance scratching her new ride, she advised that she was unable to drive him home. Awesome.

Back at the ranch, Sissy has a sudden attack of the runs and quickly went through the remaining bathroom tissue. I suspect that she overdid it with the Charmin as I discovered (in the worst way imaginable) that she had plugged up the toilet. Unable to leave the house with her in this condition, I called a friend who doesn't live too far from us to see if he could swing by with some supplies and perhaps pick up the boy. No luck; it was 19º (F) and felt like 9º with the wind chill outside and he had just gotten settled in at home. I decided an alternative solution would have to be found.

I asked the beer-lovin' mom if she could arrange a taxi for Tristan to get home and then I begged her to send some bath tissue and paper towels with him. At this point all dignity was out the window; Sissy had soiled herself three times and was so sick that she couldn't lift her head off her pillow let alone get up and get back in the tub (She always insists on a warm bath when she gets "The Throw-Ups".) I had no choice but to clean her up with a warm, soapy cloth and change her clothes and bedding. THREE TIMES!!

I was staring at the biggest, nastiest smelling pile of laundry I had ever encountered, my chair was still marinating in chocolate vomit, there was a trail of puke from the living room to the main floor bathroom to the second floor bathroom. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I discovered that my $30 industrial-type toilet plunger was leaking air somewhere, rendering it completely ineffective... at that point I remember wanting to pack 3 suitcases, leave the house and never return. Instead I cried for a moment then got it together and began filling buckets with hot water and disinfectant.

No sooner than I began to wonder what was taking Tristan so long to get home, he called to say that he was uncomfortable taking a taxi by himself and as such, his friend's mom decided to drive him after all. They were half way here. No time to think about the possible consequences of that decision and not much I could do about it at that point anyway so I turned my focus back to cleaning up.

Two long hours later I had a handle on the vomit trails and my poor violated chair. As for the laundry, well at least it was sorted and being processed as efficiently as possible in between cries for help from upstairs. It was then that the unspoken fear started creeping up on me. If you're a mom you know what I'm talking about; it's the fear that their germs have somehow infected you and that you will soon be suffering a similar fate as your poor, sick child.

I started planning ahead, strategically placing hair ties, paper towels, pillows, blankets, fresh glasses of water (complete with bendy straws) in convenient places around the house... just in case. Thank goodness I had just scrubbed the one remaining functional toilet bowl!

Part of my pre-planning was to eat something that wouldn't burn like hell coming back up and to get some rest. The eating part was easy enough however I soon realized sleep would not be an option. Sissy cried and cried and huffed and puffed and whined and cried because she was experiencing severe stomach pain and then a few hours later, leg cramps from the dehydration that is an inevitable part of the stomach flu. I rubbed her back & legs, administered small sips of water, changed the cold cloth on her head and beamed her with Reiki all night despite the overwhelming urge to hide under the blanket and ignore it all.

(Oh, did I mention I was expecting a handyman at 9 a.m. to patch drywall and hang doors?)

Just as she began to settle in the early morning hours I heard a call out from Tristan's room and then... retching. Ugggghhhhh, noooo! Thankfully he is a much quieter patient than Sis, sleeping in between his violent attacks of vomiting and diarrhea. Cleaner too... at least he has mastered the art of listening to his body when these things come on. He prepared himself with a trash can in his room to minimize cleanup. Gotta love that boy! Poor thing though, he's had a really rough go of it... he had the dry heaves so bad his face is mottled with purple spots and blotches from straining. He's resting quietly beside me as I type this so hopefully the worst is over.

This is definitely one bug I do not care to meet with. Fortunately I've been remembering to take my vitamin D lately (most days) and Tristan, even in his weakened state has promised to look after me should I fall ill so never fear, I am prepared and in good hands. I think I'll doze off now and get some rest... just in case!

Can You DO That?

2013-01-07T22:41:00.000-05:00

Today is Monday, January 7th and the first day back to school for the kids in our area. I lost count of the number of Facebook status updates I've read last night and this morning posted by folks complaining about how nice it was to spend the holidays with their kids and how sad they were that school was back in session.

It makes me crazy when I see this (I think of the farm dog and the nail every time)... I guess I wonder how serious they really are since they do have the option of not sending their kids back to school, ever.

When I tell people that I home school, and particularly unschool, I'm always asked if it's legal. Granted, education laws vary from country to country, state to state or province to province but in Ontario, Canada where we are from the Education Act allows parents to home school their children quite freely with little interference. There is no standardized testing required each year (although it is optional), no regulation in terms of a standard curriculum that must be followed. It is assumed that parents will provide "satisfactory education" to their children. If parents fail to do so then children can be forced to return to school. With that being said, in conducting my own research on this type of interest-led learning in Ontario, I found that school administrators and CAS have, on many occasions attempted to interfere with homeschooling but were unsuccessful in most cases in proving that the children were not receiving satisfactory education at home.

This doesn't mean that parents who are clearly unable to facilitate their children's education for whatever reason or perhaps are hiding things like child abuse or drug/alcohol problems shouldn't be thoroughly investigated however in my experience as a volunteer for the Ontario Federation of Teaching Parents, I saw a larger number of cases of loving, competent parents who were unnecessarily harassed because they chose to exercise their right to create education goals as a family. It's frustrating and kind of sad that as a society we have such a hard time accepting change and progressive thinking. Fortunately, with the help and advice of veteran homeschoolers and associations like the OFTP, we manage to support one another and get by okay.

A common source of frustration is with departments of the government such as Canada Revenue Agency. There seems to be an interesting process that the CRA uses to verify who has care and control of children. This is important in cases of benefits that are payable to parents/custodial guardians such as the monthly Canada Child Tax Benefit. Their process is to request supporting documents such as affidavits from the family's doctor, clergyman, attorney etc. which seems perfectly reasonable. Where things get a bit sticky is the area of the standard request for information form that asks for at least one supporting document or signature from the child's school. There is no alternative option given for homeschooling families. Yes, confirmation from the local school board that the child is exempt from attending school will do but what about those families who do not wish to register their children? After all, this is our right here in Ontario.

I am very grateful that I come from a place where the freedom to educate one's own child exists however we still have a long way to go before homeschoolers can feel accepted. For the moment, we exercise our rights while treading lightly. Even most school administrators aren't very well versed on PPM131 and the Education Act. I had the principal of my son's school sit me down and threaten to have me charged for not sending my son to school. She seemed genuinely convinced that she had this power. Truth is, in Ontario, government courses are available online and open to homeschooled kids as young as first grade. The downside to this is that enrollment does require the involvement of your local school board.

If you'd prefer freedom from rigid schedules, compulsory testing and government indoctrination I urge you to research the local laws regarding homeschooling/unschooling where you live.

When Parents Disagree...

2012-10-16T00:31:00.000-04:00

"If you resist what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeper insights into what you believe? The things most worth our time are precisely those that challenge our convictions."

Much needed quality time at Dad's :)

The kids recently had a nice visit with their father after a gap of a few years since the last one. It breaks my heart to see my son grasping at the shadow of the only male figure he really wants in his life but never quite reaching anything solid. As a matter of fact it was weighing so heavily on my mind that I recently involved myself in the dating world because said ten year old was begging me to "find him a stepfather" who would do things with him the way Dad used to... I know, right?!

It's the simple things they miss the most.

Needless to say, when you are doing something like that for the wrong reasons, it's bound to be a disaster and sure enough it couldn't have been a bigger one. "Nuff said!

Moving on, Dad had, after a long silence, begun to respond to the kids' emails while we were in Central America but seemingly only for the purpose of expressing his disapproval of our traveling and unschooling lifestyle. You see, Dad has a very different outlook on life than I do unfortunately and seems to think it's appropriate to discuss our differences with eight and ten year old children. Ay-ay-ay!

My point is not that I am right and he is wrong; we simply have very different views, opinions and parenting styles. It happens. While I lean more toward liberal, laid back, consent-based parenting (a "free for all" as dad would say) my husband is quite the opposite with an almost military style about him. He would frequently say things like: "Shoes that are removed at the door are to be put in their designated place, within an inch, no exceptions and failure to do so is punishable up to and including a dishonorable discharge!"(Or an ass-whooping!) Of course we both think the other is nuts and will surely ruin the children if left to administer their upbringing.

Dad & I also handle our frustration differently. I have a history of trying too hard to repair hopeless situations when I should really just walk away and Dad has a harder time maintaining communication with those who frustrate him so he simply disconnects. (Hence the extended gap between visits with the kids; I frustrate him and he cuts us all off...)

Evan's favorite part of visiting Dad...

So what do you do when you find yourself at wit's end with an ex-spouse or even a "spouse-in-good-standing" over how to parent, educate or feed your children? I've tried every angle here trust me, from outright resistance to passive-aggressive behavior to simply sticking my fingers in my ears and singing until he disappeared. I finally learned that you can't control other people. Period. I also learned that you will most definitely drive yourself crazy trying.

What you can do, is accept that you are two different people with two different perspectives. It can be difficult to recall but try to think back to a day when you respected this person's opinions. Realize that as different as their views may be from yours, they are still your child's parent and they love them as much as you do. With the exception of abuse, any parenting style which is motivated by love for your children is healthier than no parenting whatsoever.

Something most folks don't want to hear is "Try to keep an open mind." but you just never know when you may find that your adversary is onto something. Let your ego and your past hurts associated with this person go and really listen to what they have to say. You might find that you agree on more than you thought.

Okay, even if you'll poke your own eyes out before you'll agree with the opposition, at least try to understand where their concerns are originating. Acknowledge them. It goes a long way.

It also helps to communicate openly... often the things we dislike most about the other parent's methods is something we've created in our own monkey minds and not even a reality. We can't assume that dad (or mom) is feeding the kids at McDonald's every day when we aren't there. Sharing meal plans, study schedules and discipline strategies between homes leave no room for assumption. You may not always agree but at least you are fully aware of how things are handled in both homes.

I (and my son) have both learned that the answer is not running out to find a replacement for dad but to try to work with the one we've got. No, we can't wave a magic wand and make him call, nor can we make him change how he feels about our chosen lifestyle but I can certainly be less resistant and let him do it his way during their visits. Hopefully one day, we can actually work together toward common goals for the kids but until then we can give each other what we would give any complete stranger and what we once gave freely in our own relationship... a little simple respect. Our kids are far too precious for us to be divided to the point of distraction and petty arguing. With a little respect for ourselves, each other and the kids, we can raise them to be respectful, loving adults. I heard something once about being able to disagree but hold hands; can't really remember the exact quote but this is definitely something I think is important to demonstrate to our children and I'm hoping this is one thing Dad can agree with.

Spooky History

2012-07-26T12:01:00.002-04:00

A few nights ago we were all hanging out at mom's house, doing nothing much but driving her crazy when "Jib" showed up. Now for those of you who don't know us personally, Jib is Tristan's best friend, who's real name is not Jib at all. He developed this pet name due to... err, well never mind, doesn't matter. Anyway, point is he excitedly asked if we could take a drive out to Texas Rd. I have to admit, I found it difficult to contain my own excitement. I began to brush off the request when who of all people but good ole Grandma, having overheard the request, immediately piped up with a hearty "Yes!"

"Of course we can!" She said without hesitation. "We'll go after Patu (her husband) is asleep; it'll be dark by then." After realizing the seriousness of her comment, I forgot about containing my child-like excitement and ran off with the boys to collect a few necessary items.

For those of you who missed the link above, Texas Rd. is a road that stretches out to the east from the shore of Lake Erie in Amherstburg, Ontario for about 8 long country blocks. It dates back to the 1700's when it began as a Wyandotte Indian trail that led to a burial ground at the water's edge. Later, during the time of the British settlement in the area, it became a road connecting the country farmlands of McGregor with the main road which ran along the riverfront between Fort Amherstburg and Old Sandwich Town (now West Windsor.) The burial ground is long gone now however heading in the opposite direction you will find a bridge and a cemetery at the seemingly always foggy end of the road. It has been popular with the teenage population of Essex County for generations due to it's reputation for being haunted.

Texas Rd., Amherstburg, ON

Urban legends abound in this area and include those of a headless horseman, witch burnings, the headless wife of a local farmer and a particularly creepy one about a teenage couple who parked down the lane to make out and ends with a meat hook in the side of the car.

There are many witnesses to date who swear they've seen apparitions around the bridge, cemetery and nearby cornfields and even more local folks who, like us, get a thrill from driving down Texas Rd. at midnight, hoping to catch a ghostly glimpse of something they can tell future generations about.

For the most part, this rite of passage for the local youth is fairly innocent but you know how it is; there's always a few who have to spoil it for everyone else. After the bridge washed out a few years ago, the (spooky) end of the road, just before the cemetery was closed for repairs and unfortunately for us innocent thrill seekers, it was never reopened. This due, mostly to dangerous pranks played by kids around Halloween, jumping out at passing cars etc. and partly due to the area's popularity for Satanic/cult activity. I assume the local police were growing tired of patrolling the area and just left it closed.

Driving down the last block reminded me of the Haunted Forest scene in The Wizard Of Oz with the wooden sign nailed to a tree... "I'd turn back if I were you!"

At any rate, there we were, just after midnight on the final stretch of road before the (gulp) dead end... three kids, Grandma and me. As fog began to overtake the car windows, Jib begged for mercy, wanting to turn back but Grandma being the ghost hunter that she is, wouldn't hear of it. We slowed as we approached the concrete barrier between the road and the bridge and man did it look creepy! We all peered into the darkness at the narrow path in the brush that leads to the bridge/cemetery and even Grandma had second thoughts. She asked who was brave enough to get out and walk the remaining distance with her, knowing that not a single volunteer would come forward.

I was silent as the kids argued amongst themselves about who would keep the flashlight and wait in the car. As the strange fog continued to win the battle with our vehicle's defrost system, we ended their torture by agreeing to leave, citing reasons of concrete, non-paranormal danger. After all, this was an environment which could potentially be concealing some very real safety risks. Well, we felt justified in saying so at the time anyway.

Heading back to town.

The truth? This is one of those dark, scary wooded areas in the middle of nowhere that horror movies are made of and certainly must fall under the category of forbidden places parents warn their children about. Even if you discount the stories you can't help but get a creepy feeling out here. Perhaps the unsettling vibe of the area has been heightened by all the hype but whatever the reason, I was no more willing to get out of that car than the kids were.

The fog that wouldn't quit!

We turned back and left without incident, still sort of hoping to see a headless horseman from the security of the now very chilly car (the local temps reported on the evening news that night were in excess of 80 degrees) but there was no sign of the beautiful white horse who galloped through legends past. Instead we settled for what else? A pit stop at a local restaurant to shake the chill off and exchange experiences with staff member native to the area. After a few pounds of Buffalo wings we were all feeling much better. Having regained our confidence we headed home, our curiosity now piqued about the history of Texas Rd.

Buffalo wings and civilization took the edge off.

In the days to follow, our curiosity led us to the local library, the Gibson Gallery, Fort Malden and of course good old Google to piece together the events leading up to the War of 1812, the Battle of Detroit and other significant historical moments in our area. This common local thrill which had been long forgotten by me was an excellent conduit for a lesson in the history of our hometown. It is truly amazing to witness everyday life experiences sparking the natural curiosity of children. It's days like this that give me the confidence to live authentically and all but forget the naysayers. I am beginning to see an exultation of spirit in the kids (in all of us) that wasn't there when we were bound by the rigid confines of school... we are genuinely loving life right now!

UPDATE: We visited Texas Rd. again about a month after writing this post. We were with a friend and his 13 yr old daughter. We left the security of his truck and headed into the dark woods on foot. We got about 40 ft in when suddenly there was a VERY loud shrieking, it sounded like it was coming from the path right in front of us. We ALL heard it at the same time, we ALL immediately turned tail and ran for the truck like our lives depended on it. My friend had his cell phone set to record audio in case of a message from the other side. (Yeah, he's cheesy like that.) When we replayed the recording there was NO trace of the horrific sound that had us running for our lives. Here is the audio file recorded that night. Have a listen...

Related Links:

Texas Road:
Google map of Texas Rd.
Texas Rd. Facebook group
Texas Rd. ghost story
Texas Rd. ghost story 2
Texas Road movie

History of Amherstburg:
Fort Malden visitor info
Gibson Gallery visitor info
War of 1812
Navy Yard Park
Historic Fort Malden

A Lesson In Hospitality

2012-07-22T12:30:00.002-04:00

"The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land." ~ G.K. Chesterton

Over the past weeks, we have been visiting many friends here in Canada which is something quite new to us. When we lived here we had no reason to stay with friends but now that we've made Central America our home, we are visitors in our old town.

This puts a completely different spin on things. Instead of spending an hour or two at a friend's house for tea and leaving when we are tired and cranky, we've been fully immersed in our friends' lives and homes. There is nowhere to go when you get tired and cranky, you are forced to make the best of it. It's amazing how well we can get along with others when we have no choice!

We're all learning about what it means to be hospitable. Whether it has been a bed, a favorite television programs or yes, even a hairbrush, our awesome hosts have all given up something at one point or another to accommodate us. It's been a great experience for the kids so far and has impressed upon them the importance of respect for others' space, time and property.

What not to do when borrowing an 18 yr old girl's shower! (This didn't end well...)

These might seem like basic things but until now, we haven't been guests very often. With my past work schedule there was never time to go visiting. Since I've changed direction with my career and lowered our cost of living by moving to Central America, we now have the luxury of slowing down and taking the time to experience life's simple pleasures.

This trip started out with them sort of demanding the things that were routine to them and then slowly I've seen them get it. They are no longer questioning why we must be quieter at times that may not jive with our own schedules or why we are to graciously accept the meals which are offered to us. They've adjusted better than expected to the differences that are found in each of our friends' homes. Once again, a simple life experience has enriched our family incredibly.

I have to admit I was a little worried about how this whole trip would go. You know, always expecting a disaster because this is how we roll but so far so good. We haven't burned anyone's house down yet!

Cookin' In The Kitchen With Tristan

2012-07-16T20:52:00.002-04:00

Today our studies turned to the culinary arts. Evan had a play date but Tristan had nothing much going on so I knew that if I wanted to keep my sanity I needed to find something fairly engaging to do with him.

The idea came to us as we rooted through the refrigerator to rustle up some snacks. We noticed a rather large bunch of green onions in the crisper and thought it would be great to find a delicious way to use them.

The ever-feared "Fresh Zone"!

Tristan was surprisingly interested in turning the onions into something edible for himself and Sissy. Of the two kids, he's the more daring one when it comes to trying new things, especially so when it is his own creation on the table. He has a knack for finding a new recipe and then tweaking it to his own taste as we cook. The following is his version of Potato Bacon Soup:

Ingredients

9	large red potatoes
15 cups	chicken broth
1 cup	half & half cream
3 tbsp	butter
3 tbsp	all purpose flour
12 strips	bacon
1 cup	green onion, sliced
6 cloves	garlic
handful	chopped, fresh parsley
handful	chopped, fresh basil
1 cup	aged Cheddar cheese, shredded

Optional Toppings: sour cream, shredded Cheddar, crumbled bacon

Cut potatoes into 1" cubes, add to chicken stock and boil gently until potatoes soften. Meanwhile, fry bacon, reserving fat. Allow bacon to cool. Sauté onions and garlic in the bacon grease. Crumble bacon and add most of it to soup at this point along with the fried onion, garlic and basil, keep a bit of bacon aside for taste adjustment later. Periodically taste and adjust water as needed; as the soup reduces it will become saltier.

Once the potatoes are fairly soft and you see the water become cloudy, begin making a roux by melting butter in a saucepan and using a wooden spoon or whisk, stir in flour until thick and there are no lumps.

Then slowly stir in the milk and a handful or so of shredded cheese until you have a thick, creamy sauce. Remove a cup of broth to a mixing bowl and whisk in some of the cheese sauce, then whisk back into the soup. Do this a few times until desired consistency and taste are achieved.
Now you can go ahead and use the remaining bacon and cheese to adjust flavor, if needed.

Potatoes are in!

Perfectly crumbled bacon.

"You will 'roux' the day...!" He kept saying as he stirred :)

Et voilà! Bon appétit!

Squealing With Delight!

2012-07-13T01:54:00.000-04:00

Well, here we are mid-July and most of our schooled friends are spending their days playing sports, hanging out with friends or numbing their minds on Facebook. Pretty typical and in my opinion that's a great way to kick back and relax after ten months of stress and pressure to perform academically.

This post (amazingly enough) isn't meant to bash the school system; we'll leave that alone for now. I just wanted to share the state of oblivion that my kids now live in when it comes to learning time vs. leisure time. Once they were de-schooled, these guys amazingly lost their aversion to new information and the two merged. I started to see it just a short time into our Central American experience, first with Tristan (no surprise there) and then after I relaxed and trusted that it would happen, little sis finally followed suit.

Now that learning is no longer the enemy, I watch as they begin to enjoy it once again. I remember the days when they were toddling around their little world, brimming with curiosity... touching, tasting, exploring. No pressure, only support and encouragement from a very excited mom and big brother to cheer them on. Each new observation seemed to be an accomplishment in itself back then, celebrated with squeals of delight.

Uh-oh! Tristan, stunned by his Newtonian discovery.

Random amazement!

While there isn't as much squealing going on these days, we have returned to a place where the simple art of living provides all the opportunity for learning that we need. When you slow down and begin to take notice of all the fascinating lessons that surround us it is easy to see how each experience, no matter how great or small has the potential to enrich us.

This week we learned about the senses, World War II and the Titanic just through genuine curiosity. We were intrigued, surprised, challenged and enlightened... and it was enjoyable. Gotta love it!

It's None Of Your *&%@! Business!

2012-07-05T15:43:00.003-04:00

How do you deal with well meaning friends and family who are concerned about your unschooled children's future? I've always chosen to simply remind myself that what other people think is none of my business. I am quite passionate about life learning and feel like we've finally achieved a huge family goal in making the leap from school to unschool. I am thrilled that my children will benefit from the freedom to learn and accomplish without the constraints of curricula and schedules. They will learn about social studies and being good citizens by, well... by observing and participating in social interactions in different cultures; they'll learn about science by observing nature and conducting their own experiments (also known as playing); they'll learn about history and geography through our travels and the fundamentals like math and language by USING them!

Unfortunately, it seems not everyone is feeling the thrill in all of this like we are...

It has always been fairly easy for me to remain authentic and let friends and family who oppose life learning know that I appreciate their concern but that I am capable of making decisions for my own family. In most cases they simply don't fully understand the details around what we are up to and I'm always more than happy to try to help them with that. In some cases, they totally get it and are very encouraging (or phony, one or the other) and in some cases they either won't stop protesting long enough to really hear anything I'm saying or they just can't open their minds enough to accept anything that doesn't jive with what is familiar to them.

Of course this saddens me to see that certain segments of society are not progressing as quickly as others but I am very willing to let it go. After all, it doesn't really have any impact on my life unless I allow it to and I don't have the time or the inclination to worry about the opinions of others. I have a life to live and it doesn't include trying to convince friends that my children will be okay, that they won't grow up to be "cognitively challenged" to paraphrase nicely. If I did, I would be spending most of my time telling them all about the math, language, social studies, geography, history and biology that we've been learning every day, not to mention the philanthropy, political science, international affairs, arts, philosophy, economics and theology that we've also been picking up here and there, no teacher required (or uniform or schedule or testing... you get the idea.)

So it's all good then you say? Not quite... the problem is that my mother and son tell me that our family friends have been giving them quite a hard time about the whole school thing. I can't help but feel sympathetic to their dilemma; no one likes to be insulted and after all, it is my progressive ways that leave my loved ones having to defend my choices. One friend of my parents' even went so far as to say (and I will offer the direct quote this time, no nice paraphrasing here...) "Your grandchildren are going to grow up to be retards." Can you imagine the low intelligence and/or level of education this individual must be have? I mean, who says things like that? (Except, well... his word, not mine!)

Across the board, this has affected many relationships for them. They are constantly having to deflect questions regarding the school status of my children. The irony here is in the fact that I am better equipped to handle this sort of thing than mom is but I refuse to engage in debates of this nature and although she isn't as well equipped she still feels she must try to defend or at least explain the unschooling movement. I think the fact that these people have nothing better to do than bash something they know nothing about is a great indication of their own intelligence level but hey, what do I know? According to another family friend, I am not "smart enough" to practice experiential learning with my children. Huh? I think Santa just might bring that one a copy of "How Children Fail" this Christmas.

I mean seriously, they learning all sorts of things... just some examples:

Science (zoology, marine biology and ichthyology)
Math (fractions, measuring, torque, estimating, division, forecasting)
Language (French, English, Spanish - oral, written and grammar)
History, Geography & Social Studies (cultures, traditions and history of the Mayans, local Mesoamerican culture and history, maps, new world explorers and pirates)
Health & Phys Ed (healthy eating, lifestyle etc. and tons of physical activity in the form of walking, biking, dancing, running, swimming & gymnastics)
Arts (painting, art history, art style, dance, piano, guitar)
Although it's easy for me to tell these opinionated friends that I've got it under control and leave it at that, I don't think my family has mastered that skill yet. It's easy for me to advise them to ignore the ignorance of their friends but I know they aren't ready to do that yet... their egos still seem to have the upper hand (read: they still care what others think/say) and for now, perhaps I should equip them with some tools to support their argument. I look forward to the day when they realize the power which they possess and will finally say, very firmly to their friends, "It's none of your *&%@! business!"

*Why do some continue to gauge a child's success in life by outdated methods that no longer serve us such as level of schooling completed or grades achieved? Perhaps these are the same folks who live their lives to the standards of a failing society, I'm not sure. I'm concerned... ummm, not at all with perceived success but rather the actual success of my kids. Until the school reform agenda evolves to include more freedom in learning, encouragement of independent thought and excludes tactics to "dumb down" our society, I will continue to take control of my family's education.

Embracing Our Uniqueness

2012-07-03T01:47:00.000-04:00

To give you a little history, my ten year old son has been a handful since, well... since day one I guess. He's had a variety of behavioural issues which included an inability to handle change ( like literally, he needed to wear the same clothes every day, that was fun...), being hyper-sensitive to anything touching his skin (he would cut the bottom third of all his sleeves off and trying to get a winter coat on him in the middle of a cold Canadian winter was even more fun - he'd carry on like someone was trying to murder him and would honestly rather freeze to death than put on a jacket... couldn't stand "the feel of it" he would say) and of course we can't forget his extremely aggressive outbursts (the most fun EVER!) He's been tested for autism, Aspberger's Syndrome, learning disabilities and although the only confirmed medical diagnoses were the old standby's ADHD and ODD, I know that our little guy has some very special needs.

(I discovered later that he has food and chemical sensitivities as well; more on this later.)

The conclusion of the professional medical team who assessed him over a four year period was that his behaviour is the result of extreme emotional trauma in his early years. Without writing a short novel here, let me just sum it up like this...

"Not to say that children aren't resilient but of my three, I painstakingly watch him handle change and life events with far more difficulty than the others. From losing his baby brother at a very young age due to a rare, congenital kidney disease (and the extended absence of a mother while I moved into the hospital with sick baby brother) to his inconsistent and distant relationship with dad and ongoing struggles within the school system this boy has seen his share of life changes. Along with chemical sensitivities and a medical diagnosis of which the title matters not, the combination of factors at play for Tristan can result in some explosive behavior at times as he struggles to identify and process his emotions."

Poor guy... I really should come back and read my own words in those moments when I just want to strangle the little bugger! (I mean that figuratively, of course.) On a serious note though, it can be hard sometimes to remember that all of us, whatever our age, beneath our tough outer shells, we are all children. Children, seeking love and acceptance.

We had occasion to hold a full family meeting this evening and it turned into a great opportunity to remind everyone that each of us experiences a different reality, one that we choose through our own thoughts and expectations. I choose to focus on Tristan's light and give him the love and acceptance that he missed early on. Although he struggles with his emotions, he is also the brightest, most compassionate, inquisitive, determined and loving kid I know and he has inspired a tremendous amount of personal growth in me. Even though his siblings are often embarrassed by Tristan's behaviour, I still encouraged them tonight to embrace their brother's uniqueness and I reminded them that his strong will is going to serve him well one day. The attributes that make parenting him so difficult today are exactly the qualities that I want to see in my children when they enter the adult world. Who knows, maybe he'll be a great libertarian leader one day and make his brother and sister proud. It's just unfortunate for those of us who have to deal with him now that his determination and strong will don't have an on/off switch!

Most aren't as lucky as I am to have this sort of "in your face" reminder to embrace uniqueness but I will pass this universal message on and encourage you to embrace your family's uniqueness and to look deeper into your own challenges to find the learning opportunities in them. To do so can bring peace, enlightenment and expanded awareness to your life.

**UPDATE: Since originally writing this post, we've discovered that Tristan has a Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) to thank for his unique challenges. We're learning more about it every day which gives him something to identify with. Although he will never be your average kid (and I wouldn't want him to be) he's handling his related challenges better and better as he matures.

Can Institutions Produce Freethinkers?

2012-06-30T00:39:00.000-04:00

I've been challenged in my beliefs by those who tell me they have grown children who were institutionally educated are quite capable of independent thought today. Well... hello?? Of course it's possible... you're listening to the mad ravings of one of them now.

Although it is possible to raise freethinkers within the confines of the school system, there is no guarantee and as terms like "zero tolerance", "progressive discipline" and of course the ever popular "Safe Schools Act" become part of our vocabulary it becomes more and more challenging. These innocent sounding policies are often misconstrued and used against those children who tend to live outside the box. As outlined in this slightly dramatic yet very eye opening video, the system is designed keep us in a constant state of "zombification". Unless of course, you willingly comply with every request, every instruction, without hesitation or question. Once you have proven that you are a good little sheep through years of blindly following school rules with a smile, congratulations! You can now go on to become one of the next generation of educators, policy makers, health care providers or law enforcement agents. Awesome.

Don't think this is realistic?

I've witnessed it in my own family; it is very real. This is a very frightening reality in today's society but as with any other parenting issue, one can only equip their children with the tools to succeed and at some point, step back and allow them to exercise their own judgement. It's just my opinion but by giving the responsibility of educating my children to the public school system, I am also giving up my power to equip them with the tools required for success. I'd rather take control of my child's education and have the peace of mind that comes in knowing that I did my very best. It is a rare few who are able to navigate the school system as freethinkers. Taking the beneficial part of institutional education and resisting the brainwashing, all the while managing to stay under the radar is a challenge I know my family is not up for. We would definitely need a few lessons in holding back our authenticity first.

School's Out! (..Or Is It?)

2012-06-28T23:00:00.000-04:00

Checking out the stingrays with friends.

As many of our hometown friends celebrated the last day of the school year today, my kids are oblivious here in their little Central American town as they spend their day playing with stingrays and hanging out with their local caregiver and her family. They are happily absorbing a tremendous amount of knowledge through these new cultural experiences. Learning does not have a start and end day for them. If you think about it, no matter where you are in the world, learning never ends for any of us. All that ends are the restricting rules and regulations, blanket expectations, pressure, anxiety, labeling, standardized testing, regurgitation of facts outlined by strict curricula and herding that make up what we have come to call "education". (Oh, and don't forget the sack lunches!)

Let's be real here, the purpose of school is not to educate but to dumb us down and create submissive members of society... good little citizens. I'm not saying that rule breaking is always the right choice but I am saying that there is something very wrong with never breaking the rules. Never questioning, never thinking independently of the machine... just obediently following the rest of the herd.

Okay, end rant. Before I really digress, let's celebrate! Today we celebrate the fact that learning never ends for us. Whatever sea creatures, adventures and fascinating new people and cultures await us, we will value the education to be found in all of it. We celebrate the freedom that allows us to learn what, where, when and how we feel like learning, without fear of missing anything and to fit in downtime whenever each of us needs it. We celebrate each other and the roles each of us plays in the education of the entire family; we all have a lesson to bring to the table. We celebrate all of the teachers in our lives, from elders with a story to tell to babies who demonstrate with ease the art of happiness for it's own sake and everyone in between. ( Especially the local fishermen in our town; we have learned so much about marine biology from them!) We celebrate our new-found love of learning that had almost suffered a slow, cruel death at the hands of formal education. We celebrate educational diversity. We celebrate our personal as well as our family goals because we know that they will take us to the most amazing places. We celebrate endless possibilities. Today, we celebrate that school may be out but opportunities for learning NEVER end!

Damn Crocodiles!

2012-06-27T00:00:00.000-04:00

Oh come on... it's happened to everyone at one point or another. It's okay, you're in safe company here. (I won't tell anyone!) In fact I'll even go so far as to say that in most cases, students should feed their homework to the crocs, en masse. Crazy, right?

Call it what you will, we're a lifelearning/worldlearning/unschooling family from Canada, currently living in Central America and learning more than we ever thought possible without the structure and formality of school.

"A Croc Ate My Homework" was created to spread awareness of alternatives to traditional, institutional education. We did this because our lifestyle is not completely understood or accepted by our own family and friends and it is my hope that the information shared here will paint a clearer picture of what our "crazy" lifestyle looks like in reality.