Blasphemia nervosa

Elmer Fudd ire from the mailbag

2010-11-07T23:46:00.000-05:00

A person under the pseudonym MAGA [sic] PISSED OFF ~~foams at the mouth in an incomprehensible epileptic fit of anger~~ writes,

Sender's name: MAGA PISSED OFF
Sender's Email: *************@yahoo.com.au

you guy's are fucking Nazi ,communists fuck all of you. You're nothing but money loving cunt's , who know nothing about Jesus. the only thing you guy's are good for is getting fucked in the ass. Why don't you go and jump off a cliff and make us all happy. Jesus loves you, but i think your a good for nothing cunt. go get raped by Satan fuckers. He died for you and you treat him like this ? You don't deserve he's love.

It's true -- Jesus/God/religion does bring out the best in people.

Hail Mary

2010-11-04T03:36:00.006-04:00

Hail Mary, full of grace, won't you sit upon my face? Let me kiss your sacred clit; rejoicing in the taste of it. Holy Mary, lady of sorrow, chaste today but not tomorrow. Yet radiant with amazing grace, if you will but sit on my face.Uncyclopedia

The Hail Mary is a traditional Catholic Marian prayer. A purpose of this prayer is wishful thinking by appealing to Mary, who then mediates to Yahweh on the Christian's behalf! Although there is no credible evidence for the efficacy of this prayer when used for intercession, it is believed that the prayer may be more effective when recited repetitively; analogous to a spoiled child repeating a request until their petition is met. Anal beads may be used to keep track of repetitions. Each bead represents one repetition, and may be no larger than one inch in diameter. The use of lubricant with the anal beads diminishes the sincerity of the petitioner, and therefore may reduce the efficacy of their incantations.

Fuck Christianity, and poor musical production too

2009-11-04T20:24:00.011-05:00

Take some superstition
Mix it with some lies
Feed it to the gullible
In moralistic guise
Murder your opponents
And slander their beliefs
Do it for the glory of
Your gory prince of peace.

Fuck the baby Jesus
Fuck the Virgin, too
Fuck the crucifixion
Fuck His holy wounds
Fuck the resurrection
Fuck the Heavenly Host
Fuck the Father
Fuck the Son and
Fuck the Holy Ghost

[...] Hey hey hey
Fuck Christianity

O Lamb of God, O scam of God
And the greed for which you stand
You twist our healthy natures
There’s blood upon your hands
And all your solemn teachings
On heaven, hell, and grace
Are just a lot of empty talk
To keep us in our place....
Odor of Pears, "Fuck Christianity", Crown of Thorns, 2000.

Pithy, polemic lyrics sung to the march of a ... MIDI guitar. My issues with this song are what I suspect is poor quality instrumentation, and mixing. There are instances when the lead singer's voice is drowned out by (what sounds like) a MIDI keyboard. Listen to the full song for free on Deezer.

Holy Bible bashing shit I'm disappointed

2009-11-03T02:43:00.024-05:00

Fuck. I will not be able to share the type of content that I had envisioned for this blog: The showcasing of unadulterated Bawwww Bunny inducing "blasphemous" content--both original creations and works of others.

Google is conservative in what they deem to be objectionable content by my standards. Not that I have received any formal warnings, but I suspect it would have been inevitable. I am playing in Google's house, so I will play by their rules. At least until the censorship free Baywords becomes a more palatable blog host by allowing advanced theme customization.

Until then I have conducted my own fig-leaf campaign to censor illustrations on this blog that would cause baby Jesus to shit himself mad. The limitations may prove to inspire creativity or apathy. Either way, this blog is going in a new PG-13 direction.

Blogger Content Policy, as of November 2009:

Adult Content: We do allow adult content on Blogger, including images or videos that contain nudity or sexual activity. But, please mark your blog as 'adult' in your Blogger settings. Otherwise, we may put it behind a 'mature content' interstitial.

No images or videos that contain nudity or sexual activity: Check. There are some sexually suggestive illustrations, but (1) they are censored (2) there is no sexual activity happening in the illustrations--even in the uncensored versions.

Do not use Blogger as a way to make money on adult content.

Do not profit off porn: Check.

No incest or bestiality content: We do not allow image, video or text content that depicts or encourages incest or bestiality.

No bestiality and no images or depictions of the immediate descendants of Adam and Eve sexually reproducing: Check.

Child safety: We have a zero tolerance policy towards content that exploits children. Some examples of this include: [...] Child pornography [...] Pedophilia: We do not allow content that encourages or promotes sexual attraction towards children. For example, do not create blogs with galleries of images of children where the collection of images or text accompanying the images is sexually suggestive

No publishing of content that would sexually arouse particular members of clergy and [the prophet] Muhammad: Check.

Hate Speech: We want you to use Blogger to express your opinions, even very controversial ones. But, don't cross the line by publishing hate speech. By this, we mean content that promotes hate or violence towards groups

No hate speech: Check. The opinions expressed on this blog consist mainly of the ridicule of beliefs, icons, and fictional characters. I vow not to promote the hatred of groups, such as the hatred and demonization of the LGBT community based on theological, religious, or faith-based beliefs.

Crude Content: Don't post content just to be shocking or graphic. For example, collections of close-up images of gunshot wounds or accident scenes without additional context or commentary would violate this policy.

No lulz without context or commentary: Check.

Violence: Don't threaten other people on your blog.

Do not be an internet tough guy or blowhard: Check.

Copyright: [...] copyright infringement.

This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten [...] without the express written consent of the copyright holder: Gotcha.

Personal and confidential information: It's not ok to publish another person's personal and confidential information.

Do not publish the personal contact information of Mary the Blessed Virgin Whore Mother of Dog: Check.

Impersonating others: Please don't mislead or confuse readers by pretending to be someone else or pretending to represent an organization when you don't. We're not saying you can't publish parody or satire - just avoid content that is likely to mislead readers about your true identity.

No doppelganging: Check.

Illegal activities: Don't use Blogger to engage in illegal activities or to promote dangerous and illegal activities

Blasphemy is an illegal activity in some jurisdictions. I cannot be half-assed to sift through Blogger's entire TOS, but I suspect term 20.7 from Google's Terms of Service is pertinent: "The Terms, and your relationship with Google under the Terms, shall be governed by the laws of the State of California". I don't think blasphemy is illegal in the State of California: Tentative check.

Spam [...] Malware and viruses

Check, and check.

Jesus fucking-Mary-doggy-style Christ

2009-11-01T18:24:00.027-05:00

My standard is this: No depiction of anything is obscene. All depictions are innocent and harmless.
Unknown

Christian Death, Pornographic Messiah, 1998.

This depiction of a nude Jesus kneeling behind a nude woman is album art used on a Sad Eyes/Trinity label release from 1998. According to the data on Discogs, there are five versions of the Pornographic Messiah album. Discogs shows three of the versions with differing album art. The two (1, 2) other versions on Discogs depict a humanoid alien wearing panties and a garter belt, one of which is crucified.

Wikipedia reports that the Pornographic Messiah album "featured elaborate triple gatefold packaging, three booklets and full-color glossy textured packaging." The album contains three acts: ACT 1 – Devine manifestations, ACT 2 – Dissent and decadence, and ACT 3 : Philtre of death. I suspect it is possible that the different album art covers on Discogs are in fact just scans from each of the three acts. However, it is my impression that the two versions depicting the crucified alien are just a continuation of the same image on the gatefold packaging.

So, are there actually three versions of this album each with distinct cover art? Only dog knows.

A frugal birthday gift idea for men of the cloth

2009-10-31T11:47:00.008-04:00

The inflatable love-making Jesus!

Blasphemy (The Victimless Crime) by NOFX

2009-10-30T11:36:00.011-04:00

Listen

I’ll throw a pie in the face of piety
I’ll torch a Torah right off a bridge
I am a reverend of irreverence
I’m a shill for any sacrilege
I understand that faith in a deity
Helps the masses who are having hard times
But blasphemy like prostitution
Are clearly victimless crimes
Blasphemy, blasphe-you, Jesus Christ the blackest Jew
Blasphe-you, blasphemy, poisonous pedagogy
I’m an unbeliever, I’m a heretic
I’m gonna projectile puke off a pew
I’m a trouble making immature imp
I’m gonna turn your other cheek for you
I understand we all need something to believe in
I believe I’ll never be given wings and
I’m sorry if it’s up there cuz I didn’t think
A song was gonna hurt its feelings
Blasphemy, speaking deadpan
Apparently this god has got a master plan
Now they call foul, pure heresy
But ya gotta wonder, does he have a plan B?
Horus similar to Mithra, Attis analogous to Krishna
Jesus, different name same story
All based on ancient Egyptian allegory
My position hasn’t been occulted
It can never be more overstated
My intelligence has been insulted
So my tongue lashes out in defense
Anything that is your holy or sacred
I’m gonna desecrate and use in jest
But you’ll never hear a crack about Mohammed
Cuz I don’t wanna get shot in the chest
Blasphemy, isn’t this fun
Rob a rabbi, bugger a nun
Blasphemy, want some more?
Mother Mary, the virgin whore
NOFX, "Blasphemy (The Victimless Crime)", Coaster, 2009.

Blaspheming fun for kids

2009-10-29T14:09:00.008-04:00

Halloween Jesus Dress Up!

Happy Halloween everybody! Now you can Dress up Jesus in a variety of scary costumes just by dragging the items to him with your mouse.

The Jesus Dress Up! web site also includes to mention a few: Jesus Christ SUPERSTAR Dressup! Dress Jesus up as your favorite Hollywood superstar; Final Justice Jesus Dress Up! Dress up Jesus as a fictional or historical villain; And BDSM Jesus Dressup!

Larry David made Jesus cry, some Catholics baww'ing

2009-10-29T07:10:00.013-04:00

In the latest episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm--"The Bare Midriff"--Larry David inadvertently causes a "miracle" to occur when a droplet of his urine accidentally splashes on a painting of Jesus¹. Two Christian characters mistake Larry's urine droplet on the painting for a miraculous weeping Jesus. One of the Christian characters quits her job and plans to take the weeping Jesus painting on tour.

This "attack on Jesus" is causing some Christians to curb their enthusiasm for Larry David. Piss on them.

Andres Serrano, "Piss Christ", 1987.

_{1. Dana Ellyn, "Jesus Gets His Nails Done (at the mall)", 2009.}

Follow Jesus like Nazis followed Hitler

2009-10-28T07:16:00.009-04:00

I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so.
Adolf Hitler, to General Gerhard Engel, 1941.

Christian Death, Love and Hate, 1989.

The Blessed Virgin Mary: Her privileges and relation to Christfuck

2009-10-25T07:59:00.008-04:00

Photo by j-No, available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 Generic.

Religion as a drug: The injection of false comfort

2009-10-23T07:58:00.024-04:00

Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.
Karl Marx, Introduction to Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right, 1844.

Christian Death, Sex and Drugs and Jesus Christ, 1988.
Christian Death album art depicting Jesus shooting up heroin.

Since religion makes people feel good, why criticize it?

Why am I responsible for their feelings? I’m debating in the world of ideas. I have ideas I’m fond of too, but I don’t carry on as if other people are under some kind of obligation to avoid criticising them. If I think they can refute my argument I adjust it, if not then I offer what I consider to be a rebuttal and wait for the comeback.

No-one would ever offer this feeble argument about any other subject. No-one says that monetarists should be left to enjoy their monetarism free of critical analysis, or that people who derive comfort from believing that JFK was murdered by the Illuminati should have their beliefs treated with kid gloves.
jonecc

The Simpsons arouses thin-skinned Catholic ire

2009-10-21T23:22:00.015-04:00

"Treehouse of Horror XX" is the fourth episode of The Simpsons' twenty-first season. The episode aired on October 18, 2009. In the segment titled "Don't Have a Cow, Mankind," Bart is worshipped as the "chosen one" and people believe that cannibalizing Bart will save them from a virus.

Soldier: "Welcome, son. To survive, all we must do is eat your flesh."

Marge Simpson: "Hold it right there, Bub! What kind of civilized people eat the body and blood of their savior?"

Reverend Lovejoy: [Groans nervously]

Catholic League president Bill Donohue issued a press release responding to the segment as follows:

What kind of uncivilized people work at Fox? Last year, when they poked some gentle fun at the Apostle's Creed on the Halloween episode, we said nothing. That's because it didn't cross the line. This year is different: mocking the heart of any religion always crosses the line, and mocking the Eucharist does it for Catholics. They know this at Fox, which is precisely why they did it.
Bill Donohue, "THE SIMPSONS" CROSSES THE LINE

. . . there's nothing wrong with mocking the "heart of any religion," and Holy Communion is perfectly fair game. Let Catholics defend the practice of eating Jesus. The rest of us can call it what it is: absurd.
Hermant Mehta, The Simpsons vs. Bill Donohue

Silly superstitions will always be a magnet for mockery.
PZ Myers, Piling on Bill Donohue again

Christians mad at accurate depictions of Bible porn

2009-10-20T19:11:00.063-04:00

From The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb

The Daily Mail reports some Christians are unhappy at an illustrated book that accurately depicts the tales of rape and incest in the Bible.

He [the author] has said he does not believe that the Bible is the word of God. "I take it all for myth from start to finish, with probably some faint relation to historical reality." he said.

The response from the Christian Institute:

If you are going to publish your own version of the Bible it must be done with a great deal of sensitivity [sensitivity, sensitivity, sensitivity]. The Bible is a very important text to many many people and should be treated with the respect it deserves.

Photo by Flea Snobbery, available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.

The idea of millions of people taking this so seriously is totally nuts [ . . . ]. The Bible doesn't need to be satirised. It's already so crazy.R. Crumb, US cartoonist Crumb zaps the Bible

Jesus cock-sucking Christ

2009-10-20T09:23:00.015-04:00

The Daily Mail reports the Delaware Catholic diocese files for bankruptcy in order to try and delay child abuse charges.

The diocese - which covers the state of Delaware and the Eastern Shore of Maryland - was accused of 'a desperate effort to hide the truth', with more than 100 claimants facing an indefinite delay to their sex abuse lawsuits. The bankruptcy filing automatically delays the case in Kent County Superior Court, the first of eight consecutive abuse trials scheduled in Delaware.

The most accurate logo of all time: 1973 logo of the Catholic Church's Archdiocesan Youth Commission.

Dial B for blasphemy

2009-10-18T17:36:00.030-04:00

anyone who blasphemes the name of the LORD must be put to death. The entire assembly must stone him. Whether an alien or native-born, when he blasphemes the Name, he must be put to death.
Leviticus 24:16 (NIV)

Crybaby Yahweh

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.
Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion, 2006.

The Catholic Church, the necessary means of salvation

2009-10-11T11:05:00.007-04:00

Driven by simple curiosity, I did some investiagative reporting and found out some surprising things about the Catholic Church.
Louis CK

Contact

2009-10-02T06:39:00.010-04:00

Refer to new contact page here.