Chaton's World: A Working Mom's Quest for Balance in Stilettos©

One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Learn How to Overcome Mistakes

2026-04-15T17:30:00.009-04:00

Boy enjoying Millie's ice cream! #ParentingLessons

Greetings from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania! Things have been busy. I am still a working mom of three, working full time who is trying to make a difference. I do a lot of things and try to be present so that I can learn from them. I share them on this blog so that we can learn together. Below are some thoughts, hacks, and/or lessons that I have learned from navigating my world.

We have had quite a few two hour weather delays this school year. Generally, they are standard--albeit inconvenient. However, one stands out because it taught me an important lesson, "Trust but verify".

The morning started with a built in inconvenience. The temperature was low, the roads were iced over and school was on a two-hour delay. Despite the inconvenience, we enjoyed the extra time. I worked and cleaned up and the kids watched TV and played. Everyone was dressed and ready to go, early because of the delay. However, when it was time to leave, my second grader froze.

While I was trying to walk out of the door, he announced, “It’s pajama day.” Because he had the confidence of someone who had received a laminated memo or a text directly from the headmaster, I listened. Because I often don't keep track of those details, I was not surprised that I was in the dark. That said, I was suspicious.

So, I paused. Mid-sip of my tea. I commented, “I don't think so."

“Yes, it is!” he said, even more confident, refusing to move.

The secret to life may be learning how to overcome mistakes.

I did what any annoyed mom does when confronted with obvious nonsense: I doubled down. I did a cursory check of the school calendar, my emails, and texts from other parents. No pajama emails. No pajama texts. No pajama calls. I didn't even see anything about a "spirit week" or a made-up holiday.

“It’s not pajama day,” I said again. My sixth grader said, with the ever-present middle school sensitivity said, "What are you talking about?! It is not pajama day!" ("Idiot" was implied even though not articulated.)

That’s when the visible anguish started--tears welling up, squirming, raised voice declaring, "My class won pajama day in a contest!". Then, my empathy started to overrule my sense. He was so sincere and I know that my schedule interferes with my ability to review all the emails, app communications and papers that come from the school. Also, I recognized that the sixth grader did not have "class specific knowledge".

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I did not want responsibility for the "social ruin" that would ensue if he showed up wearing his uniform while the rest of the class was in pajamas.

After 10 minutes of negotiation (which included me saying “we have to leave NOW” no fewer than twelve times), I tried reaching a compromise, he could go to school in normal clothes and bring pajamas in his backpack "just in case".

That was a mistake. He went upstairs supposedly to grab his pajamas. When it took too long, I went up after him and found him in his underwear. When asked what he was doing his said, "putting on my pajamas because it is pajama day!"

I was hot under the collar and beyond frustrated. We had a deal--one that was mutually negotiated and agreed upon--so I thought. At this point, I just wanted to leave and so, in response to the increasing the ticking clock of reality and the decrease in my giving a damn… I caved and became invested.

I rejected the first set of unmatching pajamas, I rejected the next set because they were too small. I even rejected another because they were inappropriate for a frigid day. We settled on a sweatshirt and pajama pants. With my second grader wearing pajamas and my sixth grader wearing a huge smirk, we finally left the house.

We finally arrived at school and I walked him to his class. When the doors opened, the truth revealed itself.

Every other child was wearing a uniform. Not a one kid in pajamas.

Not. One.

My son peaked around the corner, checked out the scene and began backing up in embarrassment. With his eyes the size of saucers, he says, “I guess it’s not pajama day”.

I whispered the story to the teacher. She said, "At least he's comfortable!"

Interestingly, despite the mistake and embarassment, it was all good.

After school, despite the mistake, it was all good...

He skipped into the house talking about what a good day he had, and I was oddly proud.

He was able to shed his embarrassment and enjoy his day. Instead of allowing his mistake define his day, he defined it for himself--like a boss.

There is a lesson here. I realized that I could learn from him. For too long I allowed my mistakes to make me feel like a bad person instead of accepting what they truly are, expressions of humanity. Sometimes, we all make mistakes. When we do, we should own it and move on.

A Grandfather’s Love, Demonstrated in Freeze Pops

2026-03-18T17:30:00.003-04:00

As the weather starts to break a bit, we make plans for Spring Break, and I book my kids in a variety of Summer camps, I am reminded that this summer will be different because we won't have my dad to share the summer with,

My dad kept these on the rotation, in every flavor. Not even sure how he gets them now because I think they are the equivalent of "kid crack"--made with artificial coloring, flavoring, and sugar. To my kids though, these freeze pops were love and summer wrapped in a bow.

(As an Amazon associate, I am compensated for qualifying purchases.)

Some love stories are full of grand gestures, expensive gifts and grandiose words. Others, are small. They aren't loud or boastful. They are not proud. They are kind, patient and persevering. They are communicated through the acts of planning, observation, and generosity.

They show up as things someone does simply because they know it will bring you joy.

For my kids, their grandfather’s love lived in a never‑ending supply of freeze pops.

The freeze pops were expressions of love.

Every summer, when we’d race into his backyard for a day in his pool, he made sure the freezer was packed with freeze pops in every flavor--blue raspberry, cherry, grape… colors as bright as the childhood memories he wanted them to make. They were love personified in one sweet treat. And, they represented a tiny act of rebellion because they were things that my mom would never buy.

His freeze pops weren’t just snacks. They were something that they would only share with him. And they were magic.

Like him, this act was unassuming, kind, and pure love.

He never made a big deal about it. However, like his love they were always there every time we came in the house.

Looking back now, with him gone, those simple frozen treats feel like something much bigger. They were his way of saying:

I want you to look forward to visit so I got something just for you.
I want you to know how happy I am to see you so I have prepared for your visit.
I bought this home with the pool so that you could enjoy it.
I am here waiting to see you.
I love you.

In retrospect, the fact that the freeze pops were there were not a small gesture. They were a huge testimony of the size of his courage and his heart. For the past twenty-five years, my dad's body was debilitated, the consequences of a degenerative disease. So, the fact that he was committed to going to the store to get the freeze pops so he could put smiles on my kids' faces is truly incredible.

It’s amazing how the smallest gestures become the things that stay with us the longest. As I look forward to this summer, I am committed to enjoying it as a testament to the gratitude I feel for being loved by him. However, the pool days will be slightly les sweet. because we won't be able to bask in the warmth of his smile, the sound of his laugh, and the feeling of being completely and unquestionably loved.

And, there will be no more freeze pops because after all, we probably didn't need that artificial coloring, flavoring, and sugar anyway...

One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Stay Open to New Experiences

2026-03-12T17:30:00.001-04:00

In the movie Love Jones, the male lead says, "romance is about the possibility of the thing." I agree with that. However, I think that the concept is more universal. life--truly living--is about the possibility of the thing. For a while, I was sleep walking through life, doing what was required without truly embracing it. Recent events have caused me to re-evaluate that and to embrace life and all of its limitless possibilities.
And romance, is about love. Over the past year I have become committed to falling back in love with my life. New relationships have made that love affair possible. And, I don't take them for granted. Creating space for new relationships and making new friends as a single, working mom, and creating space is not easy. But it is necessary.
For that reason, I have committed to making new friendships, keeping the old productive ones, and enjoying them all--in the midst of working, parenting, and adulting. I have learned that I have not experienced every meaningful relationship at these years old. Indeed, the possibilities are endless, if we just stay open to them.
People have asked me about the tote I am carrying in the photo. It's by Tom Ford; I got it on a crazy sale. However, if you're interested in getting a similar one, here's one by Kate Spade, click here.

(As an Amazon affiliate, I receive compensation for qualified purchases.)
Summer of 2025 Brought New Friends
Last summer, during a quiet getaway to the Chautauqua Institution (CHQ), this working mom sat down for what I expected to be an ordinary game of dominoes. I certainly didn't expect that this simple moment—just a casual vacation pastime—would change the quality of my life.
The dominoes game into something I didn't even realize I needed: friendship. Genuine, affirming, soul‑nourishing friendship. The kind that brings new adventures, new perspectives, and new joy.
Later that week, the connection deepened during a spiritual journey to Lily Dale—a place where reflection and renewal are right at home. There, laughter and vulnerability created a bond that felt both fresh and familiar. The summer unfolded into a season of rediscovery--at Chautauqua and beyond--culminating with an invitation to a boat ride to celebrate the birthday of one of those new friends that felt like a celebration not just of life, but of a new beginning.
By the end of the summer, I was confident that this CHQ crew were my real friends.
The Following March: I Spent 40 Amazing Hours in NYC With My New Friends
Who would have thought that those relationships forged in Chautauqua would have permeated real life?! That same working mom found herself in New York City—traveling with the very people she wouldn't have known had she not picked up those dominoes last summer.
The trip was a whirlwind in the best way. Great food. Beautiful conversations. Hearty laughs. And, shared wonder.
First, the food! We savored vibrant meals at three of the best restaurants I've ever visited.
Rosa Mexicano--They make guacamole tableside. Although we did not partake in that treat, that level of high touch service is a part of the entire experience.
Golden Hof — Korean Bar & Grill: Ever dish was like an explosion of flavor in my mouth!
Ci Siamo — I don't generally enjoy Italian food. And yet, this food was melt in my mouth good! I was there to celebrate an author and neither the food nor the company disappointed. This is Oprah's favorite NYC dining spot and I can see why. Learning that made the evening feel extra special, like I was in on a secret.
If the food and fellowship weren't enough, the adventure was punctuated by a backstage visit to the set of the Today Show. I got to meet Al Roker, I witnessed a live segment being filmed--Kwame Alexander was interviewed about the best books to read--and I got to soak in the energy of the studio and to observe that Al's joie de vivre is authentic. Since I watch the show every day, it was a real treat!
I kept thinking, "How did I get so lucky??"
The answer always came back to that day last summer. That table. Those dominoes. That trip to Lily Dale. That boat ride. Those relationships...
Beyond that, it also comes down to her having the courage to slam the door to a chaotic chapter of her life, which created the opportunity to opening a new door. One filled with new friends, hope, and promise.
The Trip Was Made Possible by My Mom
None of these adventures would have been possible without my mom, Cecilia who introduced me to the Chautauqua Institution and also lovingly watched the kiddos, held down the fort, and made space for me to experience these moments of joy, rest, and rediscovery. Her support wasn't just helpful—it was foundational. Because of her, I was able to step away, breathe, and return with a renewed sense of self, gratitude, and purpose.
The Lesson: Stay Open to New Experiences, They Can Change Your Life
The trip was more than a fun getaway—it was a reminder. That life isn't done surprising us.
That blessings often arrive disguised as ordinary moments.
If we stay prayerful, faithful, and willing to embrace new relationships, new chapters will unfold—chapters richer and more joyful than we imagined. So, if you are in the midst of unrelenting chaos, have the courage to slam the door close even though you don't know what is coming next or whether a new door even exists. I promise you, another door is out there and can appear out of nowhere.

The Bad Bunny Super Bowl Performance Required no Translation for this Working Mom

2026-02-12T17:30:00.004-05:00

Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl
Photo Credit: Getty Images

People were all up in arms about the "Bad Bunny" performance. They wondered whether they would enjoy it/understand it since the entire performance was in Spanish. What this working mom, and the world learned, his performance required no translation.

Bad Bunny is All American!

The performance was energetic, creative and cultural. And the culture, I am referencing is, "American". You see, America, the home of the free and the brave, is a composite of immigrants who traversed here in search of a better life. Immigrants who believed that the ideals that the founders held dear existed to protect them and their family. They believed that they could live here, practice their religion, love their families and pursue happiness--in harmony--alongside others who also loved their families a but might practice another religion and speak a different language.

So miss me with the notion that the "Bad Bunny" Super Bowl performance was "political", which is really code for it being liberal, especially since part of what carried the last election for this administration were the votes of Latino men. This performance was an expression of America in its purest form. It was the articulation of American culture wrapped in song. And, it delivered by a man who had the courage to stand on the largest stage and ask the question, in the fashion of Sojourner Truth, "Ain't I an American"?!

Sports world reacts to Bad Bunny's Super Bowl 60 halftime show

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The Secret to a Great Super Bowl Party

Beyonce One Working Mom Who Rocked the Super Bowl

A Secret to Success This New Year: Become Committed and Resilient

2026-01-23T17:30:00.001-05:00

Mom and son celebrating the new year in the Bahamas in 2025!

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." – Confucius

2025 was intense. I faced a convergence of pressures: the stress of navigating life as a single mom while paying considerable alimony, an intensifying family situation since we lost my beloved aunt, my dad, and my cousin’s mom—work related stress—learning a new job after an imposed job change, all while navigating the rapid pace of raising my kids and trying to maintain a standard of living for them with fewer resources. Together, these factors forced me to make a decision. Was I going to be overwhelmed by the stressors or was I going to thrive, in spite of them.

I chose to thrive. However, I had to figure out how to do that. Figuring it out meant evaluating what skills and tools I need to do that. I landed on resilience and commitment because I learned that going through the motions of life with grace and strength is the ticket to enduring hardship.

Living a life of resilience and commitment is challenging but it is worth it

Indeed, last year tested me in ways I never imagined. Losing my beloved aunt in January and my dad in November--both unexpectedly-- taught me the true meaning of resilience and commitment. There were days, upon days that I didn't want to leave my couch. Sleep eluded me because I was afraid of it. And, engaging with people was sometimes too much effort.

These losses were on the heels of losing my bio dad in December of 2023 and having my relationship blow up in April of 2024. Just as I was starting to catch my breath, I experienced one life altering event after another. These experiences have taught me that one loss does not insulate me from another because I am still navigating this human experience.

And yet, I persisted.

I had to find strength and figure out how to cope and go on, in spite of it all. I spent time a lot of time alone or with my kids. I went on long walks. I cleaned my house. I learned how to use a drill and built things. I built so many things that my daughter started calling me, "Bob the Builder". I did those things because I feared that if I stopped, if I collapsed in a pile of tears, if I failed to maintain the schedule, I might lose my way and never be able to recover.

And, I did not have the luxury of that type of breakdown.

I have a demanding job, I am the primary parent to my children, and I have a court order sought by my ex requiring me to pay him ever single month. So, stopping everything was not an option I could exercise without consequence. My responsibilities required me to go on. So, my efforts to understand and remain healthy never ceased.

That said, I knew that if I merely kept going without acknowledging the intense pain of it all, I would confront it later by surprise. So trust me, I have cried, punched pillows, and complained to friends. And yet, I kept going. have learned that movement may be the formula to overcoming hardship.

Through grief, tears and fatigue, I just moved forward by putting one foot in front of the other, taking it day-by-day. Some days I ate too much and slept too much. Other days, I ate too little and stared at the ceiling. Both types of days were a part of the process. I leaned on the unwavering comfort of my family, friends and the strength of my faith.

I learned that resilience and commitment are not only coping tools, they are thriving tools. Because as you persevere, you heal.

Please be patient with me. Healing is a process and I remain on that journey. Still, as we continue our journey into 2026, I carry forward these lessons with gratitude and determination. And, I declare that I will a year of purpose, progress, and hope--in the midst of it all.

Wishing you peace, strength, and success in the year ahead!

One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Never Doubt Your Worth

2025-12-30T17:30:00.007-05:00

Filming video at Sarah Heinz House

“Don’t let someone else’s opinion define your worth.” – Jordan Michaels

Greetings from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania! Things have been busy. I am still a working mom of three, working full-time who is trying to make a difference. I do a lot of things and try to be present so that I can learn from them. I share them on this blog so that we can learn together. Below are some thoughts, hacks, and/or lessons that I have learned from navigating my world.

Recently, I was reminded that humility and confidence can occupy the same space. Indeed, they have to if you want to achieve success.

That said, for awhile, my confidence had taken a hit and I was almost choking on humble pie. When your relationship implodes and you are quite literally exchanged for a younger model, it can be hard not to allow feelings of insecurity to seep in. It doesn't matter if the younger model is a downgrade or less attractive. It only matters that the rejection stings.

Recently, there have been a bunch of such stories in the media about famous women being the victims of cheating men. Most recently, Nicole Kidman's marriage to Keith Urban was ended and he re-engineered a song, within days of the divorce being filed, to reflect his feelings for the newest object of his affection. Class has left the building!

I discuss Nicole Kidman's situation because if one of the most beautiful women in the world can be the victim of cheating, regular women are surely not immune. So, the realization that my own sad situation is not novel did not make it less hard. Now that I am over a year past implosion, my days are mostly pleasant. Still, I had yet to reignite the confidence that I had when I started this blog until recently.

I now realize that focusing on what was done to me as opposed to focusing on who I really am had the potential to derail everything that I have worked for. And, ain't nobody got time for that!

Re-discovering my voice

I was having one of those days—the kind where self-doubt creeps in quietly and settles like fog. I’d been questioning whether my voice still mattered, whether the stories I shared were reaching anyone at all. My blog, once a vibrant outlet of connection and creativity, had stalled because my internal embarrassment was interfering with my ability craft anything relevant.

The thought that kept percolating was, "Who am I to tell anybody anything?!"

Then, two things happened. First, I found photos from a video shoot I completed for Sarah Heinz House. Seeing the photos reminded me of what a great time I had completing that video and how the Executive Director chose me to tell my story because she believed that I could, "kill it". After we were done she told me that I did not disappoint her. The photos boosted my confidence.

Second, while at a meeting in Pittsburgh, a woman tapped me on the shoulder. “Excuse me. Don't you have a blog?" I said, "I do." She said, to someone else, "Chaton is one of the people who inspired me to start a blog. She's an OG. I heard her speak at Blogging Con too. I just love her!"

I was stunned. This wasn’t a comment online or a like on a post. It was a real person, standing in front of me, telling me that I made a difference.

That moment reminded me that impact isn’t always visible. Sometimes, it’s quiet and personal. But it’s real.

So if you’re a creator, a writer, a storyteller who is having a rough time—keep going. Don't let what has happened to you make you question your value. You never know who’s listening, who's watching or how deeply your words might resonate. Also, don't anything to make you question your value. Rejection by one person is literally rejection by one person. There's a world out there with people who want the opportunity to appreciate what you have to offer. So, share what you have with the world!!!

One secret to working mom success: Be resilient

What my birthday taught me about resilience

Life Lessons: Be resilient and live in the moment

One Secret to a Working Mom Success: Make Family Events More Enjoyable With Friends

2025-11-20T17:30:00.010-05:00

Better Together: Why Inviting Another Family Makes Activities More Fun

#FamilyFun

Sometimes family activities can feel like another item on the to-do list. However, doing those activities with another family makes them more fun!

Whether it’s a trip to an amusement park, a visit to the local pool, or trip to a pumpkin patch, including another family can multiply the fun in amazing ways. One of my favorite moms to collaborate with is my friend, Ayana Ledford who's pictured above with her daughter Sahar. We have done all of the things listed as seemingly random examples above and here is how including her and her daughter (and sometimes her son too) has made the events more fun.

On the date above, Ayana almost left the venue because parking was a nightmare. That said, she hung in there and we would up having a great time!

1. Having Playmates for your kids makes is more fun!

Kids love a good playdate, at least mine do. They are naturally social, and having friends around makes everything more fun, even though they have siblings. I find that when more kids are added to the mix, there are fewer fights. Fewer sighs. Fewer exclamation of, “I’m bored!”. That makes the event more enjoyable for the moms and gives us more time to relax or connect.

2. Sharing the experience with another mom, lessens the load.

Parenting is easier when you’re not doing it alone. Inviting another mom lets me share responsibilities like bringing snacks and taking kids to the restroom. Also, sometimes when left to my own devices, I can be a bit wound up. Taking three kids in three different age groups with varying interests around town did not relax me at all. However, sharing the experience with another mom helps me keep all of the kids occupied because we can divide and conquer--group the kids by age and each mom takes a group. Indeed, not to knock men, but having a second mom at an activity is truly amazing!

3. Other moms can help you relax!

When I am not responsible for entertaining all of the kids and keeping them safe, I can relax, a bit. It's a true gift.

4. Building a Stronger Village

Spending time with other families fosters a sense of community and support. It’s a chance to swap stories, share advice, and build friendships that extend beyond the activity itself.

5. More Laughter, More Memories

Let’s face it—more people often means more fun. Group activities tend to be livelier, filled with spontaneous moments that become cherished memories. Whether it’s a group singalong, a silly game, or a shared sunset, these are the moments that stick.

So next time you're planning something fun, consider inviting a friend and her family to join you. I promise you will be grateful you did and not sorry! After all, parenting is a journey best traveled together.

One Key To Success At Amusement Parks, Travel With Another Family! (#LifeHack)

Let’s use the spirit of Halloween to Help Us Be More Human All Year ‘Round

2025-11-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

Mom celebrating the Halloween spirit

Halloween is a season of fun, costumes, and candy. Indeed, it has become a favorite of mine. The kids get excited about their costumes, and spending the evening visiting neighbors and receiving candy in response to their declaration of, "Trick or Treat"! All around the country, neighbors open their doors and give candy to anyone who shows up seeking it. Upon reflection, it is a beautiful tradition that embodies the generosity of the human spirit.

I was talking to someone yesterday and commented about how much I have grown to enjoy it and wished that it could last for more than one night.

But what if my wish came true?! Stay with me. I am not suggesting that life become one big extended Halloween party, although it does sound like a lot of fun! I am suggesting that we carry this generosity of spirit beyond October 31st.

Right now, millions of Americans are facing food insecurity, and the recent government shutdown has made things worse. Many families have lost access to SNAP benefits (food stamps), leaving parents scrambling to put meals on the table. Earlier this year, after I was assessed temporary alimony, I worried about how I was going to make ends meet. For the first time in my life, it seemed as if my efforts and my sacrifice wasn't going to be enough.

I was terrified. But, I figured it out because solutions are in my DNA. And, I was able to figure out how to make everything work. If I hadn't been able to do that, I would have been devastated.

And there are some moms whose devastation began yesterday. For them, the question isn't about which candy to buy — it's about whether they can afford groceries at all.

Halloween reminds us how simple acts of giving can bring joy. A piece of candy can light up a child's face. Imagine what a bag of groceries could do for a family in need. The same generosity that drives us to spend on costumes and treats can fuel efforts to fight hunger year-round.

Here are a few ways to turn Halloween's spirit into lasting impact:

Donate to local food banks, churches or national organizations like Feeding America.
Support community meal programs that serve families affected by benefit cuts.
Advocate for policies that protect vulnerable households from food insecurity.
Start small: even one extra grocery item in your cart can make a difference.
Practice empathy. The pandemic taught us that we are one in the human spirit that we call America. Keep that at the forefront of your mind and let it guide you.

Halloween is proof that giving feels good. Let's make that feeling last — because no family should have to choose between paying bills and feeding their children.

This season, let candy be a reminder: generosity is sweet, and it's needed every day.

One Secret to a Working Mom Success: Celebrate the Seasons With Traditions

2025-10-14T17:30:00.002-04:00

"Family traditions counter alienation and confusion. They help us define who we are; they provide something steady, reliable and safe in a confusing world."— Susan Lieberman

Traditions have a way of defining a family, provide stability and give hope. They are especially important for woking moms who spend so much time working to provide for their family that they may miss some of the "traditional" mom things like bake sales, volunteering at the book fair, and a host of actual and seemingly made up holidays. They are also important for families trying to reinvent themselves in the wake of divorce. I fall in both camps. So, I work hard to maintain traditions and provide my kids with a sense of normalcy.

Even though I cannot stand, pumpkin spice lattes, I do enjoy fall traditions. And, one tradition I have come to cherish over the years is our annual visit to the pumpkin patch. And, this year, we ventured out to the pumpkin patch again. However, this year, we visited with our Jack and Jill chapter!

This year’s visit came with a little twist. Our trio of kids became a duo for the day—our oldest was under the weather and had to stay home, snuggled up with blankets and cartoons. While we her humor, sharp wit and general teasing we all made the most of the day anyway.

It was a near perfect day. Renshaw Family Farms was bursting with color—rows of pumpkins in every shape and size, hay bales stacked like forts, and the sweet scent of donuts frying drifting through the air. There were a series of events to thrill. Apple launchers, hay bales to climb and a bouncing floor made for fun to be had by all!

We took a hay ride to the corn maze and as soon as the ride stopped, the kids raced away. The parents were close behind trying to keep up so that we did not lose them in the sea of corn! Peeling cobs of dried corn became a serious effort. It was fascinating to see how each kid worked hard to find the one that was just--perfect.

After that--and it lasted a long time--the kids climbed on tractors and more hay bales. Then my little guy became obsessed with picking out a pumpkin. We delayed the obligatory photo while he made his way through the pumpkin patch entranced with the intensity and focus of an actual farmer. Finally, he found one!

Visiting the pumpkin patch is a time to slow down, soak in the season, and make memories that stick like cotton candy on your fingertips. And we tried to enjoy all of the things. We took a series of photos, ate ice cream, and almost melted in a puddle of tears because the line for hot dogs was too long to endure.

There was laughter, joy and a lot of running. And while my daughter was missing, we had a good time and brought home extra stories to share with her. It's funny, even though she wasn't with us, her presence was woven into the fabric of the entire day. Sometimes traditions bend a little, but they never break—and that’s what makes them so special.

Here’s to fall, family, and finding joy in every season—even if you are reinventing your family as we are, day-by day.

S'mores and other fall traditions

Halloween Fun Tips

Halloween Lessons for the Working Mom

S'mores and Other Fall Traditions

2025-10-04T17:30:00.001-04:00

S'mores

It is October! It's hard to believe that summer is officially behind us and fall is here. One reason it's hard to believe is that it remains quite warm. It's so warm that I long to be poolside in Pittsburgh--daily. That said, the nights are cooler. They are just cool enough to begin firing up the fire pit to enjoy long talks, cuddles and sweet treats like s'mores.

Enjoying S'mores Makes Everything Better

Kid enjoying s'mores

When I think about enjoying s'mores, it makes me smile! And, as you can see from the photo above, they have the same affect on my kid.

Indeed, 'mores are universally awesome! I don't know about you, but even in these gluten free, low fat, high protein times, I still enjoy a good s'more. I don't know if it's nostalgia, the communal aspect of it, or the fact that they taste so damn good. Whatever it is, I am officially declaring this, "S'mores Season"!

So, light a fire and celebrate!!!

One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Minimize Expenses

2025-08-29T16:30:00.021-04:00

Following Instagram posts can make you feel like other moms are either made of money or have sugar daddies funding their lifestyles. I can assure you. I have neither. There is nobody funneling money into my household except for me. And because I was an economics major and my dad was a banker, I am keenly aware of cash flow, assets and liabilities, and expenditures.

Still, sometimes, I forget how expensive life can be. It's not because I lied about having a sugar daddy or have a trust fund. It is because I am frugal. Indeed, being conscious of expenditures is integrated into my lifestyle.

I know that it is gauche to discuss money and yet, I feel compelled to share some thoughts.

I am that mom who pays attention to when they have free days at the zoo, happy hour specials, and BOGO deals at the grocery store. I also have been known to refurbish items that I have found in a neighbor's trash. And, I haven't met a leftover that I haven't liked!

Indeed, I am obsessed with minimizing my regular expenses so that I can splurge occasionally on fun. In the summer, that means exercising outside, watching free movies in the park and inviting friends over to share a glass of wine. I also spent most of my weekends at my parents' pool. I am fortunate that my parents don't charge me to use it. My kids love to swim, and we enjoy the pool expense free. Often, our expenses for doing so are generally lunch, dessert and time with my parents--a real treat. I rinse and repeat that pastime all summer long and we have a great time!

Last summer though, it hit me that entertaining my kids in the summer can cost a lot! There were two weekends, for a variety of reasons, I wound up paying for my kids to go to the local amusement park two weekends in a row. I spent over $500 for these two weekends of activity. $500, is the money in my opinion even in light of inflation period and while my kids had a thoroughly wonderful time period I recognize, that paying for that kind of entertainment on a consistent basis, exceeds my tolerance. Indeed, paying for that kind of entertainment, would exceed the cost of private school for them. That would make, summer, far more expensive, than the school year.

Kids at Kennywood Park

A Season Pass May Be Your Ticket to Saving at an Amusement Park

One thing that I should have considered was purchasing a season pass to the amusement park last year. I didn't buy any because we only went twice. However, this year, I bought three season passes and it cost me half of what I paid last year for those two visits. The amusement park came up with a special "summer only" discount pass that I purchased for me and my older son. I bought a gold pass for my daughter, which came with two friend passes. That decision allowed my older kids to visit the park with friends, without me, and the baby and I to go twice and saved money. I love when I learn from my mistakes!

Accordingly, I am all in the business of finding free and low-cost ways to entertain my children this summer. Because, we do have a couple of trips planned, and I just recognize that if I paid the going rate for this entertainment, it would be an exorbitant expense.

Below you will so in my quest to find such things, I came across the entertainment options listed below. Please enjoy and partake of them as you see fit, and you can thank me later.

Participating in Focus Groups Can Increase Your Cash Flow

There are two ways to maximize your cash flow. You can either minimize expenses or make extra money. Here's a way that you might be able to make extra cash by spending one hour offering your opinion in the comfort of your home.

Virtual Paid Focus Group about news and information in Pittsburgh and Allegheny County -

Focus Groups in Pittsburgh

Free Places to Take Kids In and Around Pittsburgh
Free Things to Do in Pittsburgh Today | Visit Pittsburgh

Affording a Membership or Season Passes

ALCOSAN Open House: Free

Free Teen Membership - Carnegie Museums of Pittsburgh

Heinz History Center Free for Kids after September 1, 2025

A Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Control Your Own Destiny

2025-07-22T17:30:00.001-04:00

We recently experienced the summer solstice and the official beginning of summer, I am reflecting on how I spent my Spring. And, it was magical! If I had a theme for Spring it was, “Just Say Yes”! I have to tell you, I am so glad that I did. My Spring was — full of new opportunities, events, and activities that bring me joy. As someone who is going through a contentious divorce, I am grateful to be able to participate in things that inspire me, remind me of who I am and bring me joy. And as a mom, I am so very grateful that I am able to love my children in the midst of the conflict and to give them the gift of great memories.

This Spring I was reminded that our hardships do not have to define us if we have the courage to combat the negativity with positivity.

So, here’s to a great summer!

One Secret to Success for a Working Mom, Expand Your Village (Jack and Jill of America)

2025-06-18T17:30:00.002-04:00

Jack and Jill of America member and her daughter

Recently, I have become keenly aware that good kids are created by accident. They become good because someone made a concerted effort to pour positive things into them--things like, honor, discipline and respect for others. These qualities are taught through lessons and by observation. For that reason, I have been actively considering how to give my children more examples of people who embody those qualities.

Indeed, raising my children to become good people is my most important job.

That consideration motivated me to join Jack and Jill of America last month. Among other things, Jack and Jill of America exists to promote:

Cultural awareness, educational development, health (education and advocacy), civic (legislative advocacy and service) and social/recreational areas. It also has promoted the public awareness and interests of children including child development, child growth, child quality of life, child care and the promotion of children’s rights.

In a word, Jack and Jill exists to help improve the lives of children. Because I am committed to doing that as well, I appreciate the help from the organization as a whole as well as the other mother members in giving my children better lives. Grateful that I have taken the step to expand my village to include this support for me and my children.

I have been acquainted with Jack and Jill for some time because those I am close to were either members or chose Jack and Jill for their families after they became moms. Above is a photo of my daughter and me from an event we attended last year. We had a great time and attending that event solidified my decision to join. I am a newbie. So, I still have a lot to learn. However, I am excited to share this organization with my fellow moms as we create opportunities for our children.

Stay tuned as I share more about our Jack and Jill adventures!

Happy Summer!!!

2025-05-28T19:00:00.002-04:00

Dog Days of Summer have begun

Most working moms are exhausted this time of year. The kids are over school. The uniforms have holes in them and the book bags are held together with duct tape. And then, just like that, Memorial Day comes to help us cope with what we have to do. It gives us a reprieve to prepare for the summer--a less structured life filled with longer nights and more fun.

This time of year is also a time of reflection. It is the embodiment of success. We successfully completed another school year. For us that means we completed cross country season, times 2 (both boys), basketball season, times 2 (both boys), and soccer season, times 2 (both boys). We also completed ballet, our first year doing it in the pre-professional division.

We had a great Memorial Day where we celebrated the initiation of summer, even though it wasn't warm enough to swim. Still, the long weekend was to be celebrated. And, as we greet summer, we hope to be bolstered by all of the freedom and energy in the above photo!

Memories of a Summer Gone By

Celebrating Black Maternal Health Week #BMHW25

2025-04-17T17:30:00.022-04:00

Mom and three kids

Black Maternal Health Week April 11-17, 2025

I am a Black mom to three wonderful children. I was blessed to have three successful births. While I am an attorney, my third delivery highlighted the potential risks that occur when a physician fails to listen to the birthing person. Initially, I chalked it up to the physician involved and limited it to my personal birthing experience. Then, I learned that I was not special. Overwhelmingly, Black women experience higher rates of birth trauma, birthing complications and negative birth outcomes.

These statistics are what lead to the creation of Black Maternal Health Week in an attempt to highlight health disparities and promote better health outcomes for all women.

Even in this current political environment, there is space to highlight health disparities based on race. One of the issues that ought not be overlooked or diminished is the health outcomes related to Black Maternal Health. Indeed, protecting mothers should be as American as apple pie, and if we are aware that some mothers die at higher rates, then we are aware of a public health crisis. And, because mothers are the bedrock of families, when mothers suffer avoidable deaths, we subject families to avoidable suffering and trauma, and create a framework by which the children are at higher risk for a host of bad things, including being recipients of social services. Indeed, when Black mothers die, we compromise the social and economic health of this nation, and that is something we should all care about.

Mom and kids at The White Housee

Black Maternal Health Week began last week. It highlights and amplifies that motherhood, a most natural human desire, presents a disproportionate risk to Black women. Indeed, Black women are over three times more likely to die from pregnancy-related complications compared to White women. This disparity exists even when you account for educational and economic disparities. The data indicates that getting pregnant while Black increases the likelihood that your baby will grow up motherless.

While this reality is sobering, it can also be motivating. And, if knowing about this does not motivate you to take action, you should know that you are ignoring one of the most profound public health crises of our time. Below are some action items that can be implemented to improve Black maternal health.

Action Items to Improve Black Maternal Health

Action Item for Everyone (Respect Black Women and their Motherhood): If that statistic appalls you, do something about it. It is easy to pontificate about the plight of Black moms. It is harder to actually treat the Black moms you know with dignity and respect. That said, action is what effectuates change. So, donate money. Raise awareness. Help your Black friends who have given birth and check on them to make sure they're OK. And if you are in a romantic relationship with a man who parents with a Black mom, refrain from harassing her and complicating her life.
Action Item for Men Who Parent with Black Moms (Promote the Interests of that Black Mom): If you are married to a Black mom or have children with a Black mom, actively work to promote her wellbeing and refrain from doing things to harm her and/or interfere with her health. Failing to contribute meaningfully to the household--economically, spiritually, and emotionally--means that you are aggravating her stress and compromising her health. If you lie, cheat, or steal from that Black mom, or escalate conflict, that requires her to process your misdeeds while raising your children. That is an avoidable difficulty. If you love your children, don't do anything that you know complicates their mother's life or compromises her happiness.
Action Item for Black Moms (Actively Love Yourself): If you are a Black mom or aspire to be one, actively love yourself. That love looks like advocating for yourself with the same fervency that you advocate for others. That love looks like requiring those with whom you are in relationship to always treat you with dignity and respect. That love looks like paying attention to your body and acknowledging when things don't feel right. That love also looks like self forgiveness.

There's an old adage that says, "When you know better, you do better." If you have read this post, you can no longer say, "I didn't know it was that bad and didn't know what to do." Now, do better. By doing better, you can make a difference.

One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Remember Kids Will Be Kids

2025-03-25T17:30:00.043-04:00

At Atria's

I have SO many incomplete blog posts that it's laughable. They're incomplete because I'll start writing them and then life happens. They're incomplete because in between my inspiration for the post and editing it, I realized that I had a sponsored post to complete. They're incomplete because some national event took precedence. They're incomplete because I realized that we needed milk, eggs, or some other essential and I just forgot about it. There are so many explanations about why they're incomplete that I could devote an entire series of posts to that. Instead, I'd like to share a post from several years ago about how my kids messed up my grandmother's birthday dinner...

My family has more complexities than the NATO peace treaty. Truthfully, like no nonsense, or ~~bull s---t~~ At one point in my life, I had nine living grandparents. It would take a long time to explain how that happened, but trust me. That is a true statement. Well on one Monday in 2016 (August 1st to be exact), it was my last living grandmother's birthday. So, I arranged a dinner for us to celebrate her even though I had worked all day. I was excited for her to enjoy her favorite meal of crab cakes, have some cake, and have a peaceful, enjoyable time. Unfortunately, my kids did not get the memo.

Kids Will Be Kids, And That Is OK

Instead of celebrating, they decided to complain. And they asserted their independence like only they can. They also questioned the entire thing. Questions that still need to be answered: "Why aren't we at home. Why are we still here?! Is Daddy coming?! Can I have dessert even though I f---ed the entire event? And, again, "Why are we still here?!" We struggled to eat peacefully, sing "happy birthday," and even take a photo.

I remember being so frustrated at the time. I remember questioning why I put so much effort into making memories when they are often not perfect. Recently, I decided to stop. The myth of the ungrateful child haunted me through my entire childhood. It was as if I couldn't do enough to express my gratitude.

And yet, as I remember it, despite being accused of being ungrateful, I felt very grateful for my family. I knew that I was a kid, lacked a job and insight, and was completely ill-equipped to navigate life without the direction of my grown-ups. I am not entirely sure what I was doing to convey my so-called lack of gratitude. However, as the person being accused of it, I can attest that the characterization of my feelings was untrue and I didn't like it.

Parents and Children Communicate Differently

Just the other day, I found myself accusing my kids of being ungrateful. I rattled off a list of things I had done for them and paid for in an effort to inspire different behavior that I felt indicated a lack of gratitude. They looked at me in confusion and said, "Mommy, I AM GRATEFUL!" It stopped me in my tracks. I realized that how children express gratitude might be different than how parents would like to receive gratitude. Perhaps, we need a translator to help us communicate with one another. Until I identify if that is a real job, I will try to reflect on what I can control--listening with my entire being and not just my ears. Perhaps, my children are expressing gratitude in ways that I ignore--through hugs, cuddles, and smiles. Perhaps gratitude from a child looks like a smile, sounds like a laugh, and is shown by deeds as much as by words. And maybe, just maybe, my brood is grateful and appreciates me.

Here's hoping!

One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Pursue Happiness

2025-03-04T17:30:00.011-05:00

Pursue Happiness

There’s a lot written about in the self-help industry and discussed with therapists about the flaws sof pursuing perfection. Phrases like, “perfect is the enemy of the good” resound. And it has been made abundantly clear that we ought not be pursuing perfection. If that is true, then what should we be pursuing?

According to American values, we should be pursuing happiness. Indeed, the Declaration of Independence says this, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

So, perhaps this year, as working moms, we should take a page out of the Founders’ book and pursue happiness—at work, in our personal lives and with our kids. That's what I intend to do.

I began this year pursuing happiness with my kids in the Bahamas and I am not sorry. It was the best way to create an energy shift for me and my new family. Transitioning from a family of five to a family of four has been challenging, especially since the kids and I live in the same house that we shared with their father. Although doing that has been the right decision. There have been struggles.

If I'm not careful, our existence can be a function of missing who is no longer there instead of celebrating our lives. To combat that, I have been taking my children on new experiences, like the cruise so that they know that we will survive and even thrive despite their father's departure. Our lives have been challenging. So, I have intentionally embraced fun in a more deliberate way and have tried to make their dreams come true.

It has taken more work and commitment since I returned from my trip. Because while I was away, my ex sought and obtained Alimony Pendente Lite. I learned about it as soon as I hit domestic waters. Talk about a vacation buzz kill! After learning that I had a decision to make. Would I pursue happiness without ceasing or would I cower, take cover, and cry?

I shed a few tears. However, my resolve has not ceased. I realize that my kids deserve a mom who enjoys life. And so I choose to focus on this thought. I am blessed to live this life with my kids. I play that on repeat all day long.

Because of them, and in honor of the creator, I am also committed to desperately seeking happiness in spite of it all. The Bible says, "Seek and ye shall find."

Stay tuned to learn how this pursuit unfolds!

Struggles of Single Moms: 7 Major Challenges

A Working Mom's Secret to Success on Valentine's Day: Manage Expectations...

2025-02-17T17:30:00.029-05:00

Lady celebrating Valentine's Day at Eddie V's

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde

The roots of Valentine’s Day roots go back to St. Valentine, a priest in the early Christian Church known for his compassion and commitment to love. He was a defender of faith, hope, and kindness, reminding us that love is not just a feeling—it’s an action.

And, this year I have learned that being free on Valentine's Day is better than living a lie.

Valentine's Day, like Christmas, comes every year. However, unlike Christmas, Valentine's Day is about romantic love and not familial love. It can be full of mixed emotions. Last year, I discovered my partner removing two roses from my bouquet to give to his "co-workers". (If you don't believe this, DM me. i have photos.) Later in the year I received confirmation of his other life. So, this year I was overjoyed to wake up with the knowledge that I would be spending the day doing things I loved with someone who loves me and didn't have an ulterior motive. I was also able to keep all of my flower, be unburdened by his weight of duplicity, and live in the sunshine!

In many ways, this Valentine's Day was my debut. And, I had the very best time celebrating. But like, "Gossip Girl", I'll never tell!

Below is a poem/song I wrote long ago about this complicated day. Initially, I wrote it as a joke. However, now it rings a bit true.

Hope you had a Happy Valentine's Day and that it gave you more reasons to celebrate than lament.

Valentine's Things (a joke)! (c) (to the tune of "My Favorite Things")

Chocolate candy exchanged

And cards everywhere

Magazine ads

Saying love's in the air

Deliverymen scrambling to make their deadlines

This is a day that many despise...

Men feeling pressure to make the big play

Women keeping score on this special day

Everyone tense trying to do right

Many a couple will get in a fight...

Expressions of love on all the channels

Easygoing women turning most anal

Singles believing that they are now alone

Walking single file through the love zone...

The winter transforms into a sea of red

Some give gifts to get (her) into bed

Many wishing real hard for tomorrow to come

Returning the world to normal for everyone...

When the door knocks

When the phone rings

When we're feeling sad

We simply remember these Valentines Things and then we feel really bad!

Celebrating Life and Love! #valentinesday - Chaton's World

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185 Other Different Ways to Creatively Say "I Love You" ️

Happy Belated New Year!!!

2025-01-30T17:30:00.003-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Things have already been busy. I am still a working mom of three, working full time, trying to make a difference. I share my experiences on this blog so that we can learn together. Below are some thoughts, hacks, and/or lessons that I have learned from navigating my world.

As the New Year unfolds, I am filled with a variety of emotions—wistfulness, joy, and heartfelt gratitude.

If you have been a follower of this blog you know that I try hard to provide my children with the best possible life. However, I haven't been transparent about what I have endured. There are many things that one can accomplish by sheer will and determination. However, building a family with another person is not one of them. Last year, my relationship exploded, and I have been wading through the shrapnel ever since.

In the midst of the worst time in my life, I was reeling, trying to make sense of the events and trying to find a way through. Attempting to make sense of it all... I asked myself one simple question. And, the answer to that question filled me with hope and reinforced my purpose.

The question was this: What do I need to feel good about my choices?

This answer was revealed to me. I need to believe in my soul that my kids are alright. For me, that means that I need to observe them being healthy, whole, and happy. I need to provide a financially secure life for them and have time to enjoy life with them. It means that I need to get to know them to identify what they like to do and provide them with opportunities to do those things. I need to keep my finger on the pulse of their lives to create opportunities for them. And I need to hear them laugh. In a word, I need to parent them well and promote their good.

I recently recognized that not everyone will approve of how I do this and that is OK. All that matters is whether I feel good about those choices and whether I am confident that I am achieving the desired result. I assess my progress by listening to my kids and measuring their achievement toward the goals.

That said, this post is not about how parents should become martyrs. I believe that parents should carve out time for themselves to enjoy life without their kids. And I do that. That said, my life choices demonstrate that I put them first. Doing that sometimes requires intense sacrifice. However, I have that is necessary for their wellbeing.

I also realize that this parenting pathway is not a popularity contest. Instead, parenting is about committing to the work, identifying goals, doing the work, and having the resolve to see it through. Praying for the strength and resolve to give my kids everything they need.

Please pray for me!!!

New Year, New Beginnings: Tips For Starting Fresh After A Divorce

The Word for this Wednesday, Joy!

2025-01-15T17:30:00.003-05:00

Let us all tackle this new year with the joy and exuberance captured in this photo!

Let's celebrate!!! Quarter Finalist Fab Over 40 (#FabOver40)

2024-11-28T06:30:00.008-05:00

Vote for Chaton, Fab Over 40

Today, I am grateful for the opportunity to win this contest. I feel like a country music song. And yet, it is my life!

Quite literally, My man left me, is living with his mistress, and I am here raising my kids, trying to figure out life. I don't know that winning Fab Over 40 would help. But, I know it wouldn't hurt. Please vote for me!!!

To vote, click here!

The 2024 presidential election motivated me to have a birthday do-over

2024-11-15T17:30:00.003-05:00

At the Pittsburgh Ballet Theater Pointe in Time Emerald Gala

Today marks a week since my birthday. Its occurrence is a tremendous blessing. Because all around us are reminders about the fragility of life. To that end, my brother, who always makes a point to celebrate me, took me to the Pittsburgh Ballet Theater's Pointe in Time Emerald Gala on November 2d. That was the beginning of my birthday celebrations. And then, on my birthday itself, I got a bit of a surprise...

My actual birthday was tough. It was Election Day. And, I spent the day working polls as a part of an election protection effort. My efforts were designed to protect all voters. However, deep in my heart I love my AKA sister, Kamala Harris and I hoped for her historic victory. Then, much to my chagrin and despite my efforts—and those of thousands more—she lost. In my estimation, that loss was one of the greatest setbacks in human dignity in my lifetime. The country elected a felon and self-proclaimed, racist, ableist, and misogynist as president. This person has also been proven to have engaged in treasonous behavior. The fact that that person beat an accomplished attorney, former senator, current vice president and law-abiding season was shocking. I thought he would have lost to a pumpkin.

Even though I was beyond grateful to be alive on November 5th, my mood was somber. So, on Friday, I decided to do a birthday do-over.

When your candidate loses and your birthday is on election day, you get a do-over!

Unlike my sister who lives for birthdays, I have been more mellow about them. I am the one who plans parties for others, works on the themes, and makes birthday dreams come true. I usually don’t go all out for my own birthday though. However, this year, my candidate lost and a dear friend died on my birthday. So, I felt differently about it. This year, I wanted to celebrate with friends and reset the negative energy following me like Pig Pen’s dark cloud. This year, I wanted to party!

So, on Friday night, together with a few friends, I celebrated the gift that is me. My friends reminded me that I am worthy and worth celebrating. We reflected on our shared memories, ate tasty food, and consumed tasty cocktails. We listened to great music and enjoyed some frivolity. We. Had. Fun.

The future keeps unfolding and nobody knows what will happen. That said, I know this. Life in all of its splendor remains the gift that we get with living. When I talked with my aunt about the election. She said something like, “I’m disappointed. But I still have farming to do.” Another friend said, he’s “dust[ing] off and focus[ing] on business.” And I am reminding myself that we may have lost but the secret to survival is remembering to breathe, love and live without fear.

Regardless of who is in the White House, we cannot lose faith. That is the soul of democracy and the secret to thriving in this precarious world. So, today, may we strengthen our commitment to our democracy and to one another. And also, please wish me a happy birthday! I am still taking all of the good wishes!

A Secret to Working Mom Success: Keep Dancing!

2024-10-22T17:30:00.004-04:00

Life is a journey that can be full of unexpected twists and turns. We have to learn to navigate them with the skills of a NASCAR driver and the temperament of a Buddhist priest.--Chatón T. Turner

As most people know, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are getting a divorce. So, soon, Bennifer will be no more. Don't worry, this is not turning into a gossip rag. Instead, I want to focus on Jennifer Lopez's comments about how profoundly she was impacted by the breakup. She's been quoted as saying, "The split almost did take me out for good but [it] was exactly what I needed."

Lessons from Jennifer Lopez's Divorce

People criticize J. Lo as being career obsessed, driven, and a perfectionist. And, they try to suggest that but for her career goals and pursuits her love life might be more successful. Like those making those suggestions, I lack inside information and insight into the causation for her string of love affairs. That said, there is an alternate way of viewing this and I would like to submit this for consideration. What if her failed love affairs were part of her destiny, and her career has saved her from personal destruction after these heartbreaks.

As a feminist, I am offended that people keep suggesting that women who are successful in business cannot be successful in love. However, as someone who has been in pursuit of true love my entire adult life, I know first-hand that there are no guarantees. The best anyone can do is to do the best that they can with the person they are with. Because even though it takes two to tango, it takes only one person to stop the dance. Also sometimes, someone cuts into the dance two people are having, interjects themselves and alters everything. And, if you keep on dancing expecting to have a partner you will likely trip and/or look like a fool. So, all dance partner have to pay attention to any changes that materially alter the dance.

Still, as Billy Idol said, you can dance by yourself. Indeed, the geniuses learn how to create a solo dance that is both meaningful and beautiful. So, take a lesson from J. Lo. Be open to entertaining new dance partners. However, if the music stops or the dance changes, keep going. Dancing is beautiful in and of itself!

A Secret to Working Mom Success: Give Yourself Grace

2024-09-30T17:30:00.004-04:00

Me at the White House

The other evening I had to attend a board meeting followed by a reception. I participated in the board meeting on the phone. However, I arrived for the reception in person. I was starving. So, I was glad to see that there was quite a spread laid out for our enjoyment. I wound up being the first person in the line to get food.

Give yourself grace instead of giving into the guilt.

And although I was there by invitation like everyone else, I was self-conscious about being first in line. I also felt guilty though because I knew I had to leave early to pick up my daughter. In true me fashion, I expressed my guilt out loud to a woman I met. I swear sometimes guilt comes up and out of me like a geyser. It is probably my Catholic schooling...

So, I meet this woman, a fellow board member, who I am sure was there to network and have a good time and not provide life-changing therapy. And yet, that is what she did. When I mentioned that I was feeling guilty about eating and running, especially since I participated in the meeting by phone, she reframed the entire scenario in a way that was miraculous. She said, "Why don't you think of this nice meal as your treat for working hard all day and enjoy it."

I swear. That thought had never occurred to me. Sometimes I feel like I live in "guilt town", which is why I live a relatively safe life and don't do things like lie about being sick when I am not to get out of something, lie to my friends about why I miss their calls, or cheat on those with whom I am involved. It is my hope that these noble decisions pay off in good karma. But the truth is, there's no other way I would like to live because a clean conscience is how I sleep at night.

Still, this was different. The guilt that I was feeling was completely misguided and a function of dysfunctional thinking. It almost made me not enjoy the event. So, I am so glad that I met that woman. And from now on, I'll being giving myself the grace that I so freely give to others. And, I think that will help me have more fun.

Here's hoping!

Companies need working moms. This is what working moms need (Instead of lamenting the loss of mothers from the workforce, employers should better support employees throughout the full journey of parenthood, this female founder writes.)

A Secret to Working Mom's Success: Stay Focused

2024-09-24T17:30:00.002-04:00

A calm day...

Today's lesson was, stay focused.

(This post was in the archives and not posted but the lessons remain salient.)

Like most working moms, I get by through a series of decisions.

Sometimes I am jealous of the bloggers who seem to have their lives staged to create blog posts that portray their lives as full of family, fun, punctuated by great fashion sense. Not only is my life not staged, my life keeps lifeing, and surprises, hiccups, and accidents occur. I don't know about other bloggers but that is how my life rolls.

If you follow me on social media you may be thinking. She generally looks put together and does some cool things. And that is true. My life does have its fair share of glossy images and cool things. And when my posts portray that life, it is my truth at that moment. That said, my life sometimes includes endless piles of laundry, incomplete things to-do lists, and exploding eggs...

Today while upstairs getting my kids ready for the day I heard an animal rummaging down below. I instantly went into "super mommy mode". I projected confidence and strength and went to investigate. I couldn't let the kids know how terrified I was about what I might find. The truth is, some people love animals and I tolerate them. So, believing that an uninvited one was in my kitchen tops my list of worst things that could possibly happen.

When I got downstairs, instead of finding an animal I found a pot sizzling, eggs that had exploded, and the smell of burnt eggs. Then, I remembered. Before deciding to get the kids ready, I decided to boil eggs for our nightly salad. Well, I burnt the eggs. They exploded and stunk up the house.

There really isn't more to say except, sometimes, "Exploding Eggs" happen.

Better luck next time!

Chaton's World: A Working Mom's Quest for Balance in Stilettos©

One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Learn How to Overcome Mistakes

The secret to life may be learning how to overcome mistakes.

Interestingly, despite the mistake and embarassment, it was all good.

A Grandfather’s Love, Demonstrated in Freeze Pops

The freeze pops were expressions of love.

One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Stay Open to New Experiences

Summer of 2025 Brought New Friends

The Following March: I Spent 40 Amazing Hours in NYC With My New Friends

The Trip Was Made Possible by My Mom

The Lesson: Stay Open to New Experiences, They Can Change Your Life

The Bad Bunny Super Bowl Performance Required no Translation for this Working Mom

Bad Bunny is All American!

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A Secret to Success This New Year: Become Committed and Resilient

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**Wishing you peace, strength, and success in the year ahead!**

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One Secret to a Working Mom Success: Make Family Events More Enjoyable With Friends

1. Having Playmates for your kids makes is more fun!

2. Sharing the experience with another mom, lessens the load.

3. Other moms can help you relax!

4. Building a Stronger Village

5. More Laughter, More Memories

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A Season Pass May Be Your Ticket to Saving at an Amusement Park

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One Secret to Success for a Working Mom, Expand Your Village (Jack and Jill of America)

Happy Summer!!!

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Celebrating Black Maternal Health Week #BMHW25

Black Maternal Health Week April 11-17, 2025

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One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Remember Kids Will Be Kids

Kids Will Be Kids, And That Is OK

Parents and Children Communicate Differently

One Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Pursue Happiness

Pursue Happiness

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A Working Mom's Secret to Success on Valentine's Day: Manage Expectations...

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Happy Belated New Year!!!

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The Word for this Wednesday, Joy!

Let's celebrate!!! Quarter Finalist Fab Over 40 (#FabOver40)

The 2024 presidential election motivated me to have a birthday do-over

When your candidate loses and your birthday is on election day, you get a do-over!

A Secret to Working Mom Success: Keep Dancing!

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A Secret to Working Mom Success: Give Yourself Grace

Give yourself grace instead of giving into the guilt.

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A Secret to Working Mom's Success: Stay Focused

Wishing you peace, strength, and success in the year ahead!