Dateoma - Building Healthy Relationships

There Is No Hope For My Marriage All I Want Is Forgiveness - Advice Me

2021-11-12T07:13:00.003-08:00

Hello admin, I have a very important matter to share please. My marriage is about to end…I regret it but it seems there is nothing that can be done. This is my last effort to save this marriage. I decided to post here because I know my wife reads your stories I forward to her from the blog.

I have a female friend who got married many years before I did. Before she got married, we were just friends and I was sincerely happy for her when she got married. But she married a goat. The man was a cheat and a wife beater. My friend suffered in her marriage even though she gave the man four boys.

Being friends with her, I was always counselling her, encouraging her…I even tried to settle some of their quarrels. I got married and my wife came to know about this situation and she used to even feel sorry for her too.

Eventually this lady and her husband divorced after seven years of marriage. She had no place to go to and my wife agreed that she could stay with us. We had a BQ and she moved in there. Her children and our children played together. We were like one big family.

But one day, I made a terrible mistake. I was down with malaria and was at home. Everyone had gone to work and school. This lady came to my room and seduced me. To be honest, I do not know why I could not resist but I cheated on my wife with this lady.

We started sneaking behind my wife and having an affair for almost four months. And then she got pregnant. That was when the scales fell off. I knew I had gone too far and I was not ready to destroy my marriage. I asked her to abort it and she agreed cos she did not want to betray my wife who treats her like a sister.

We agreed that she should move out too cos the affair was too close to home. I got her a self contain and she moved out with her children. My wife was arguing that there was no need for her to get her own place but I insisted. My wife is a good woman…I don’t know how many women will be so unsuspecting.

Being away from our house gave us room to mess around more. I tried to stay away from her but in a few months, we resumed our affair…unfortunately, we were careless. Another pregnancy happened. She was scared of doing a second abortion so I told her I would have nothing to do with her if she keeps the pregnancy. She was supposed to be using contraception but she was careless.

We started having issues ,arguing about the pregnancy. I angrily tried to drug her…so the baby can be flushed…she thought I wanted to kill her so she in anger told my wife. I thought my marriage was over. My wife felt so betrayed. She would not speak to me for months. I begged her and her family…I did not want her to leave me.

God had mercy on me somehow and the lady lost the baby. My wife still has not forgiven me. Its been over two years. Even though my wife has not moved out…she has never forgiven me. We are like strangers in the house. She said she is staying because of the children.

I have asked God and our families for forgiveness. But my wife still refuses to forgive me. The marriage is no longer the same. I don’t sleep with her and she does not let me touch her. I forced myself on her one time cos it was too unbearable….but she hates me so much that she bite me and warned me never to touch her again.

I have asked her what she wants me to do…cos if we are not meeting physically, she is pushing me to go and cheat again. She does not care. She said I can do what I like. That made me realize she no longer loves me. I think its best we both go our separate ways. I asked her if that is what she wants…she says no but if I want it…she is ok with it…

So, that is how I come to the conclusion that the marriage is over. Its two years now. I have begged and begged…what else should I do? If divorce is not the way out…what else should I do? How long should I wait? I am constantly fighting/resisting the temptation to cheat but my wife does not want me anymore

What do I do then?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

Due To My Selfishness In The Past I May Lose My Son Forever - Please Help

2021-11-12T07:12:00.000-08:00

Hello, I need your help. I was selfish in the past. And now, I may have to live with regret for the rest of my life. Three years ago, my ex: Jane got married but was very unhappy in her marriage cos they were having infertility…low sperm count matter. Unfortunately, she married a man who is shallow and allowed their fertility issue become a problem.

The man was drinking and flirting and Jane came to me for support. We didn’t plan to but we ended up having s*x most of the time. She just wanted a shoulder to cry on. She never wanted her marriage to end. Well, it was only about 3 or 4 times but she ended up breaking it off after like 2 months and a half.

Jane said she wanted to try and work things out with her husband and I was fine with that. At the time, I too was single. Well, exactly a year after, Jane had a baby boy. She posted pictures on Instagram. Very cute baby and family pictures. I was surprised cos I knew they had infertility issues. But I kept mute.

However, as Jane posted regular pictures of her son on social media…I could not help but notice the resemblance. I had to reach out to her. I asked her and she initially denied the baby was mine but after threatening to make trouble…she begged me to let it go. She confirmed the baby is mine but will do anything for me to keep quiet.

I scratched my head and asked for 5M to keep quiet. I don’t know why I did that. I regret that today. Jane sent me 3.5M and promised to pay the balance over a year. She completed the amount but now, I feel so terrible. Like I was very wrong to collect the money.

Jane makes it hard cos she updates this boy’s pictures and all I want to be is his dad. I sold that right for a sleazy N5 milion. I feel absolutely terrible. I am getting married soon. Yet…I cannot tell anyone that I have a son…my son will never know me. How do I make this right?

I do not want to hurt Jane or her marriage. But seeing your own seed pulls a kind of emotion and desire I never felt before. Sometimes…all I want to do is just hold him in my hands…I never wanted to be his dad so bad like I do now…Daily…. I am dying with guilt. What do I do? How do I make things right…? I think my son deserves to know his true father…maybe not now? Maybe when he is old enough to understand?

My fear is…my son may hate me if I don’t make an effort to make things right now…and I think Jane’s husband deserves to know the truth. I do not plan to take the boy away…no, they can raise him as their own…I just want him to know his real father and give me a chance to love him as a father should love his son.

Also…my family and bride to be deserve to know…that might hurt them but keeping it a secret will hurt far more…. what should I do…I need your advice…. (anyone can feel free to insult me…I know I was a d*ck head…but I just want to do the right thing before it’s too late). Please advise me.

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

My Husband Married Another Woman With Everything I Have Worked For - Please Help Me

2021-11-12T07:11:00.001-08:00

Emeka (not real name) was my first boyfriend and love of my life. I was living with my Auntie in Ikota, helping in her restaurant when I met Emeka. Emeka was working as an apprentice in a spare parts shop. Life was hard for us cos I could not further my education hence I came to Lagos to serve as house help and sales girl for my Aunty while Emeka left his village to learn a trade.

Emeka was my only source of happiness during those difficult years and he and I were planning to get married in future. Then things changed. I got involved in a woman who promised me a job in Europe for greener pastures. Emeka and I thought it would be good for us, as I would go abroad to work and send money back, for him to safe and we can start a future when I return.

When I got to Europe, I discovered it was prostitution I was brought to come and do. I cried and almost wanted to die but I remembered my poor family and Emeka back home and I became determined to succeed. I worked my back off for 3 years before I could even begin to send money home. I sent money to Emeka and his family, to my family as well. I sent money to Emeka to buy a car, rent an apartment, etc.

I was finally able to travel home after five years of hustling abroad. I got home and met a different Emeka. He had used all the money I sent to him to start his business, he saved very little as I told him but he had the car and apartment, so I did not mind too much. But I noticed he was hiding his calls until I suspected he was keeping another girl and hiding her from me.

When I challenged Emeka about his sneaky phone calls, he then told me that it’s just a Yoruba girl disturbing him, that I should not mind. So, I was calm. Later, I was wondering why Emeka was not talking about our marriage as we have discussed for so long. He said he wants me to get a job first cos I just came back in the country. While I was looking for a job, I got pregnant and I told Emeka that I don’t want to have a baby outside wedlock and he said it’s no big deal, that we can get married but it will be quiet, only traditional marriage for now.

I agreed but when it was time for him to come with his family to see my family, Emeka came with his friend alone. I asked him why, he said he has been hiding it from me, that his family is against our marriage because they found out that I did prostitution in Europe for 5 years. I was shocked. Like, they didn’t hesitate to take the money I sent them from prostitution but they are not in support of their son marrying me?

We did traditional only. And one day, I called Emeka’s mother to tell her I was not happy that she did not support my wedding after all I did for them and their son. It was that call that the woman cursed me with all the curse in my life. She said I was an ashawo and not good for their son, that I have brought shame to their family. She then said, I better leave her son cos he has a good woman who has a son for him.

To my uttermost shock, Emeka’s mother revealed that Emeka has a son with that yoruba girl. I confronted Emeka and he was upset that I called his mother. He confirmed that he has a son and that he is also married to the lady but that he only married me because of all I have done for him. That he married the girl in church and court but me, its only traditional he did for me. That he only married me cos he does not want to disappoint me.

Emeka said since I have found out, that no need for him to lie anymore. Since then,Emeka spends time more with his other woman and her son. Since then, its quarrel and fight me and Emeka are doing. He prefers that woman more to me. I gave birth and Emeka did not even come for the baby’s naming ceremony. I feel so sad and most times thoughts of killing myself or ending the marriage keeps coming to me.

What should I do? From the look of things, Emeka does not love me or my child. So, what exactly am I doing in this marriage? If I remember the pain I went through and all the money I sent to Emeka to help him start his business and how he has abandoned me now, I really feel like killing myself. Please advise me. If I leave this fraud marriage, I dont even know where I will start from?

Maybe I will go back to prostitution because I have not been able to get a job cos all the money I made while abroad, I gave all to Emeka and he invested all in his business and yet, he treats me so bad. Thank God I sent some to my family which they used in building a house in the village but I cannot go back to the village now. Its better, I send my baby to my mother in the village and go back to hustle abroad otherwise, I may lose my mind here.

My friend convinced me to share my story on lively stones. Well, here is my story. I have nothing, lost everything…I don’t know what else to do. Please advise me…any point staying in the fraud of a marriage where I am losing my mind or leave and go hustle some more, because, I have no job, no husband and I have a baby to take care of. Sometimes, I think of even killing Emeka or poisoning his other woman for what they did to me. I am desperate. I need advice.

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: teachingtimes

True Life Story: How My Mother Allowed Her Bitterness To Deprive Me Of Having A Father

2021-11-12T07:10:00.001-08:00

Good day admin, pardon me, my story is a bit long but I will try to make it short. I am 35 years old. I need your advice on something that has been bothering me for so long. So, my parents separated when I was one-year-old. Actually, they were dating and engaged but my father’s mother from the west while my mother is from the south east part of Nigeria.

But they both met in Lagos and fell in love. My father’s mother never liked my mother and when they planned to get married, she did everything in her power to frustrate the marriage. My mother was really frustrated cos she told me many horrible stories of things that my father’s mother did to her. My mom said my father never did anything to stop his mother from maltreating her.

Eventually, my mom got pregnant and my father’s mother found out and ordered boys to attack her on her way from work one night. That she was left for dead. My mother said, that she survived with her pregnancy was a miracle cos she was hit in her stomach several times. Those who attacked her called her, omo-ibo…stay away from Tunde , that is my father (not real name) if you want to stay alive.

My mother said when my father came, he refused to believe that his mother would stoop so low to attack my mother and he was angry at my mother for suggesting that. Because of the attack, my mother’s family took her back to the East and that is where my mother gave birth to me and raised me all by herself. When my mother left, my father never asked after my mother or the baby which is me.

I grew up hearing my mother say so much hateful things about my father. It was clear my mother was bitter and that even made her not to trust men, my mother remained single all her life. She was truly broken by what happened.

Well, I am grown and ready to marry. My mother never told me who my father is, even though I kept asking her. I did not know his name to go and look for him. I tried sometimes to make her or her family tell me about my father but they all refused. I think my mother warned them not to tell me.

I used to wish I had a father to walk me on my wedding day but I did not know how to reach my father. I had to let the idea of ever meeting my dad go. Well, I have been married for two years and I have a four months old baby. My mother’s eldest brother called me last year and told me that he feels I have a right to know my father, so he told me my father’s name and told me to promise not to tell my mother he was the one who told me.

So since last year, I have been trying to find my father on social media. I asked a lot of people and DM a lot of people in secret. Until five months ago, a month before I gave birth, I found my father. When I contacted him, he was shocked. He was so happy too. He told me something completely different from what my mom told me.

My father told me that he was an irresponsible young man when he met my mother ..that is why he could not protect her from his mother but that 20 years ago, he started trying to reach my mother, but my mother refused to give him access to her or myself. That he regrets loosing me and my mother.

My father then told me not to tell my mother that we found each other. I gave birth a month later. My father travelled down to Port Harcourt to see me and my husband and our baby. He was so happy. Yes, he is married with another family but it was clear he missed me and he was really sorry for what happened. My father cried the first day we met. He said he knows he does not deserve forgiveness but he is willing to do whatever it takes.

Now, even though my father didn’t want me to tell my mother that we have found each other, I could never keep such a secret from my mother. I knew it would be a hurtful thing but I also wanted to be truthful. I told my mother a week after I met my dad. And do you know what? My mother said I betrayed her and rubbed all the suffering she suffered for me in her face.

My mother disowned me for disobeying her, for contacting my father and for allowing my father into my life. All efforts to explain to her that she should forgive and forget fell on deaf ears. She said she will hold it to her grave. I and my husband have begged and begged. Even my father too has sent several messages cos she will never grant him audience if he tries to see her.

It’s been almost four months now. My mother refused to talk to me. Not even try to come see me now that I have a new baby. She said, its only on the condition that I swear that I will never see my father or talk to him again. I can’t understand why my mother does not want to understand my own pain.

I grew up fatherless…yes…he was irresponsible but he tried to make amends but he was rejected. Do you know what I went through growing up Being called a bastard…being mocked by other kids? being called all kinds of names? I have daddy issues. I envied my friends that had great relationship with their dads. I was almost even s8xually molested by a man I took as a father figure (story for another day). …all because I lacked fatherly love… I don’t do well in relationships cos I missed a father figure growing up. I was only able to marry by God’s grace.

God gave me a very patient man to marry cos I also have trust issues. Men called me toxic or even quick tempered woman. I carried a lot of my mom’s anger. All of these because of what happened with my mom and dad. I was a restless teenager. Many thought I would never settle down and marry …that is why I got married at age 33.

I just want an opportunity to know my father. To find some closure and heal some wounds. But my mother forbids it. She says she raised me without him, why do I need him now that I am grown and do not need his help? That my going to look for him is a betrayal. I know she is hurt but what about me? I need my father…why is it so wrong to need my father? That does not mean I forgive him for what his family did to my mother but I just want to give him a chance.

I love my mother. She is my everything. Without her, I will not be here. I cannot bear not speaking with her. Should I cut off from my dad for peace sake? My dad is begging me not to cut him off again. What do I do? My husband said I can have a secret relationship with my dad…so my mother does not find out. How do I even do that? Besides, the day she finds out…the betrayal will be worse and she may not take it easy on me for tricking her.

The elders in my family are not helping…they feel my mom has suffered too much…that her wish should be respected. This matter is bothering me. I need your advice. What should I do? Should I cut off my dad again? Am I betraying my mother if I don’t? Please advice me.

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

My Fiancée Has Been Keeping Some Secrets From Me - What Should I Do?

2021-11-12T07:08:00.003-08:00

Hello admin, I need your counsel. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for two and a half years. I love her to death and will do anything for her. She started dating me when I had nothing. We helped me get a job and by God’s grace, a doing very fine.

I proposed to her early this year and all ever think of is when we eventually get married. Five months ago, she travelled to New York for her best friend’s wedding. Most of her school alumni were in attendance.

When she returned, all was fine. She gisted me about all that happened and showed me pictures of places they visited. Like 3 weeks later after she returned, she was ill and I came to see her.

Her fever was becoming too high, so I took her to the hospital. I was scared cos I hoped it was not covid-19 cos she just returned from US and she really toured many places.

On getting to the hospital, she was admitted cos her fever was just too high. I left her that night and came the very next morning to see her. It was then that she started to cry on seeing me.

I was worried…I feared the worst had happened. All she said was she was very sorry but she refused to say. The doctor cam e and asked if I was her husband, i said…no, her fiancé…he looked at both of u and told my girl to talk to me

I feared it was a terminal disease or something horrible. I kept begging her to tell me but she said when we get home. She was discharged that day.

On getting home, I begged her to tell me. And she said…she was pregnant. I was like

…oh…I thought we were using protection…and then she said …she made a mistake and slept with someone, a former classmate in New York.

I looked at her in disbelief. My girlfriend is the only person I trust with my life in the whole world. I couldn’t recognize what she told me she did.

It was an emotional couple of days for me. I was disappointed and in complete disbelief. But a week later, I called her and told her I forgive her…that she should do a D and C…and we can move on.

That was when my girlfriend….the love of my life told me she has no plans of taking out the pregnancy. That she wants me to move on. In shock…I asked her her why…she says she and her former classmate spoke and he asked her to keep the baby.

That he’s been married for 3 years without a child. And he feels God gave him a blessing through her. So what about me? She said she’s sorry but I have to move on.

Believe it or not…till today… I don’t know why my girlfriend did this or refused to choose us. So I have been so heart broken until last week. My girl reached out to me…and said she has removed the pregnancy and she wants me to consider forgiving her and taking her back.

I swear to God… I wanted to jump for joy but then…I have questions….I asked her to tell me what happened and she said…its too painful to talk about…that she believed a lie and she just wants to move on.

Well…I told her that for us to move on…she has to come completely clean…or nothing…she says she does not know i will still want her if I know the real truth of what really happened.

And then, I told her that no matter what happened, I will forgive her. After crying and begging. She made me swear to forgive her after she tells me…and I swore that I will forgive her no matter what…in my heart…I was wondering what could be worse than getting pregnant for another man?

When she then told me that she slept with her best friend’s husband whom she attended their wedding…who she was maid of honour for…I wish I didn’t promise to forgive her.

All the stories she told me about how it happened did not make any sense to me…bottom line is…she slept with her best friend’s husband few days before their wedding…she cheated on her fiancé and got pregnant in the process.

Now…for me…this is not the same girl 8 fell on love with.. she is displaying a character O never knew she had…she is a cheat ,a liar and a backstabbing woman. She went on to explain how that she had a secret crush on the guy and that she knew the guy liked her but chose her friend but while in New York, the guy came to her hotel room…talking regrets that he wish he expressed himself to her…it was supposed to be a crush but she made a mistake and took it further.

To God who made me…I feel like we are done…how do we ever build trust again? I love her but I don’t trust her…she said it was an error on her side…bla bla bla…if I was the one who committed such a huge error…Will she consider forgiving me? She said yes but its easier said than done…right???

I am broken…sad and I don’t know what to do…should I move on? Can we ever make it if we try? Has anyone been in similar situation before? Were you able to completely forgive and move on? Its hard to move on I must admit …this lady was there for me in so many ways…I still cant get over how she let this happen…what should I do?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

My Marriage Is Falling Apart All Because I Wanted To Make My Husband Happy

2021-11-12T07:07:00.004-08:00

Please help me save my marriage. I am a Nigerian but I live in the US. Its been going on for about a month now. I probably should not be sharing this on a public platform but right now, I am doing everything possible to save my marriage from completely dying. I met my husband during my masters and we got married in 2019.

Since then, our marriage has been going through some challenges. First, I had several miscarriages in the first year. Then for three straight years, I have not been able to get pregnant again. This has been really making me depressed and hubby tries his best to be a man but I could see it also affected him. We decided to live our lives and be happy until God decides to answer our prayers.

Things have been good for a while. We then decided we needed a vacation. My husband took me to Miami. It was a very fun vacation and we caught up with some of our friends while there. We attended clubs with some of his friends too and things got wild.

During the parties, some came with their wives and girlfriends. What I didn’t know was how wild things would get. It turned into a lot of kissing and s8x very quickly. Even though we were all drunk, I just did not have the stomach to get involved in such acts. I told my husband that we had to go and we left the club. We were laughing about it the next morning, discussing how crazy people living abroad can get.

We were still discussing, when one of his friends from the club came to see us. It was like, almost two days to the end of our vacation. I asked him how he could engage in such wild s8x acts and he laughed saying that my husband should stop acting like a saint now that he is married cos he can confirm that my husband has had such experiences before.

Me, I was shocked but my husband said it was before we got married. And then I asked when, cos we were dating long before we married. He could not say when…but that its before we got married. I was like…that means he cheated even when we were dating but his friend which is like his very close friend told me to relax….that I should get to know the man I married very well…that he is very much into that kind of stuff .

My husband was trying to make it look like he has changed but his friend kept making fun of him. And then, things went worse. I thought they had dropped the stupid idea, cos my husband got up to use the restroom, his friend then very politely asked me to have a threesome with him and my husband.

While I was trying to act very stunned and disgusted at what his friend said to me, he assured me that if I agreed, my husband would agree. We both decided to prank my husband…to catch him in a lie…so when my husband returned…I went to him and whispered in his ears…that I want to have a threesome with him and his friend…that there was no need to be shy anymore cos I know he likes things like that.

Would you believe my husband was only silent for only a second before agreeing to this? I was like what…its a joke…am just joking but clearly…my husband liked the idea too much that he asked me if I really want to try it…it sounded ridiculous but I said yes. I wanted to do it cos my husband asked me to.

Its the craziest and most insane thing I have ever done in my life. I am not very religious but being raised by Nigerian parents, that is a complete taboo…God knows I felt so wrong doing this but my husband and his friend really had fun. I was made to believe that these are some of the things couples do to spice up their marriage. I liked that it pleased my husband but I told him I would never do it again.

We returned to our home two days later. But then, my husband began to act strange…he seemed like he was upset at me and I did not know why…I asked him what was the issue and he just said nothing. That I should leave him alone. I could not take it anymore cos two days later, I was trying to make advances to him and he pushed me away. I then realized things were serious cos my husband has never refused me s8x before.

Then I insisted he told me what I did wrong. He said I had changed. That since the threesome with his friend in Miami , that I am behaving strange in bed when am with him…that he noticed changed and now I act differently during s8x. My husband is jealous!…can you believe that? Someone who begged me to have a threesome, is now behaving like I did something horrible.

I laughed and told him to stop behaving like a hypocrite. Since then, we fight and argue a lot about petty things and it has been like that for some time. We are no longer happy. He told me he regrets having that threesome. I also regret it but it happened and its his fault. But why he wont forget it and move on is the issue.

We have not had s8x since. I told him we need to go to therapy and he said its waste of money to do that. So, am just hoping things get better with us but he keeps acting worse everyday. We don’t communicate…we are gradually growing apart. Please help me save my marriage before its too late.

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

My Marriage Has Brought Me Shame And Pain - I Need Your Advice

2021-11-12T07:06:00.004-08:00

Hi Dateoma, Since this is a judgement free zone, permit me to unburden myself. I got married in February this year and I need counsel because I am facing an internal emotional battle. I am so afraid to confide in anyone around me because I fear being judged or called a slut or being told that I am not fighting for my marriage.

Yes, its too early to be having having marital issues but what if your mind keeps telling you that the marriage was a mistake? Isn’t it better to quit before its too late, after you must have had children and start feeling like you have to stay in the marriage for the children’s sake…therefore jeopardizing your own happiness?

This is not my idea of happily ever after. Or am I being paranoid….will things really get better in future? Yes,…I want to fight for my marriage but what exactly am I fighting for? Is it even worth fighting for? Let me try and summarize my story.

So, I met my husband after I broke up with my ex over something very I regret everyday. So, my ex and I were in a very loving relationship. We dated for two years. I really never loved anyone like I did him. He was the love of my life. But what happened was unfortunate. He got a job offer in Saudi Arabia. (He is a medical doctor)

To me, I felt that was too far and the country is not my kind of place to settle down since we were planning to settle down in a year or so. But he kept complaining that he was not getting value working here in Nigeria as a doctor. We planned for him to try and get to UK or Canada but the money involved was much plus…he was rejected visa twice to the UK. He was desperate and when Saudi Arabia came, he wanted to take it.

We quarrelled about it and he felt I was not being supportive and stubbornly broke up with me. I was heartbroken. That was when I made the terrible mistake of quickly accepting to date someone that has been disturbing me in my DM for a while: he is now my current husband. My husband was a toaster just in my DMs at the time but when my boyfriend broke up with me, I responded to his advances just to get over my boyfriend.

My husband wasted no time in pursing me. He splashed money over me. By this time, my boyfriend had gotten his papers and relocated to Saudi. I accepted a marriage proposal from my current husband in 4 months of dating. Did I see the red flags, yes but I did not mind …I was 30 years old and determined to marry cos of the general belief that its hard to find someone to marry once you turn 30.

Now, the red flags I saw seemed like normal for someone like my husband: he had money…women usually flocked around him. I had to accept that fact. Well, as long as I was the only one he would make his wife. Yes, I quarrelled about his side chicks but he always apologized and said he would change. I was told that I should focus on what's important cos any girl would do anything to want my husband.

We started planning our marriage. And then, my ex started to beg me to come back. I was like…what? But you broke up with me. He said he was sorry and made a big mistake. I was still hurt so I told him its too late… am engaged and getting married. My ex kept pleading everyday …we chatted everyday…I began to realize that I was still madly in love with him. But I felt I have gone too far with my wedding planning.

Nine months after broke up with my ex…he got a job offer at a very high bro hospital in Lekki. The offer would pay him really well and my ex quit his Saudi Arabia job and came back home. The sad part was…my wedding was the next weekend. I was going into a marriage I was not sure of because I was too afraid to call it off.

On Wednesday of the week to my wedding, one of my friends who has been planning my wedding with me came was at my house. We were putting finishing touches to stuff…talking to wedding planner together, caterer…etc. My tailor for my traditional outfit called about last minute adjustments…she needed my measurements and to avoid delays…I quickly hoped on a bike to see the Tailor.

In less than 30mins I was on my way back to my apartment. I got back and noticed my husband (then my fiancé was around) his car was packed outside. I don’t know why but my instinct made me not to take the front door. I knew my friend was inside the house so she must have opened the door for my fiancé. But why didn’t she call to tell me he was around?

So I took the back door, went straight quietly to my living room and boom…caught my friend bent over and my husband was f*cking her from behind. You know the way your mind tells you…I knew it? Cos this friend of mine was the type that was always telling me how lucky I am…how that I should ignore the red flags and focus on what’s important…a financially secure future with a man so rich as my husband.

What I did not bargain was that she too was going to be sharing him with me. I was not expecting this…in my own house? Both of them looked so stupid. My friend…well …now my enemy took a walk of shame and left. My husband to be was looking at me like a big fool…like a dog that he was…I just cried and cried and he didn't even try to comfort me…he just mouth a lousy sorry.

Well, I threw his ring at him and told him to get lost. In minutes, everyone was calling me telling me to calm down…not to break up…bla bla bla…that my wedding is just three days time. My head was spinning…I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I did the only thing I thought I needed was someone to comfort me, someone who loved me and would know my value…so I called my ex…and started crying on the phone.

My ex listened to me crying and said Bimbo (not my real name)…start coming. He sent his address to me ..I got an Uber…and sent straight to his house. I cried and cried in his arms. He kept on apologizing for breaking up with me and making me choose such a jerk for a husband. We both wanted it and we made love…again and again.

I spent the night in his place…I switched on my phone next morning and reality hit. Everyone was looking for me. My mother sent crying voice notes. My fiance sent several messages of apologies. My heart was telling me to run away but my head told me to forgive my fiance …so my friend does not seem like she won.

My ex went to work leaving me behind…I left to my apartment. My mother and sister were there waiting for me. Next thing, my fiance came and started making a story about how my friend had been seducing him and he was truly sorry. Na so, I forgave him. And married him two days later.

My I blocked my ex cos I did not want my heart to go back to him. I convinced myself that we can never be together. It was too late. Now, I am married and hubby has won…he has not stopped seeing my friend. Now, he does not even hide it too much. We quarrel everyday. Everyone is telling me to pray and focus on having a baby so that I will not be too engrossed with my husband’s philandering life.

Well, I been trying for a baby but I think that will be impossible cos I am not at peace with my husband. How will a baby be conceived in this kind of environment? I confronted my friend, begged her to leave him alone…if nothing for the fact that she used to be my friend…she told me to my face that if I am not careful, she is coming in as second wife soon. She is doing everything to get pregnant before me and she knows my husband will marry her if she gets pregnant or make her a permanent baby mama.

I felt like killing my friend (ladies be careful who you call friend…especially if you are dating a rich guy). She even accused me of being a naïve fool…for always quarrelling with my husband and pushing him further away to other women and men. You may say why am I surprised after all I saw the red flags…what I did not bargain was that he would be rubbishing me like this…I feel like a laughing stock…my husband and my friend…and maybe the fact that he is gay and people know about it?

I was like: other women and men? I asked her what she meant by men…I know he is a flirt but what has men go to do with this too? Is my husband bis*xual?…I have been trying to find out if my husband is truly into men too. I asked him and he told me to stop worrying about finding out cos if I continue…I will might find what I am not looking for?

What is the meaning of all these? I know I signed up for an unfaithful man but not this kind of situation…I am slipping into depression when I think of the fact that I left a good man for this wicked man…I think I better damn what ever the consequences may be and get out of this marriage…money is not everything. Yes…I am very comfortable but why should I stay with comfort that does not care about me…someone who is busy disgracing me with my own friend? Someone who is probably gay too?

Now, tell me…why should I not leave now…its less six months of marriage and all I can show for it is nothing but regret and sadness. I unblocked my ex and we got talking again…he is upset with me for marrying someone else after he begged me not to when I caught him cheating with my friend. But he said…if I am serious about getting back…then I need to prove it to him…

The only way I can prove to him that I am serious is by leaving right?…Now tell me…how does fighting for my marriage seem to look right now? Is there anything to fight for? Or is this not enough to call it quit? I am going through so much emotionally. I cant take it anymore. Please advice me.

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

Lots Of Insecurities In My Relationship - Is This A Red Flag? Please Help

2021-11-12T07:05:00.005-08:00

My name is Esther (not real name). I am 27 while my fiancé is 31. We met in January this year through a close friend in church. We both know that our relationship is towards marriage and we have started planning for the end of the year for wedding and all that. Our families are aware and given their blessings.

My only issue now is that, my guy is giving me vibes like he is going to be a possessive or jealous guy or a petty person…and that really bothers me. What I mean is, sometimes we have misunderstandings and the way he behaves is giving me cause for worry.

So for example, we both have each other’s picture on our dp. But once we have any small misunderstanding, he will remove my picture from his dp. I find that childish cos I don’t remove his own picture when we have a misunderstanding. Same thing he does for screen saver. He will change his screen saver from my picture to his mother or family members.

Next thing, he will start quoting inspirational nonsense on social media. Like…trust no one…em, they say they love you but they stab you behind your back….and bla bla bla. I find it annoying that instead of talking to me to sort our issues, he will be making indirect posts about our issue on Facebook.

In April, he bought me an iPhone for my birthday. Well, since then, my ears have not rested. When we had a small issue, he asked me to return the phone. Ha… I thought he was joking. He said how many people buy expensive phones for their girlfriend’s? So, I returned the phone and broke up with him.

Later, he came apologizing. That he feels insecure about me…that he does those things so I can feel how much he fears loosing me…that he is trying to protect his heart from hurt so he tends to do things like that …that I am young and fine…and that he knows guys may be after me…so he is doing everything to make me happy but I don’t appreciate him. His idea of making me happy is post my picture as his dp abi buying me iPhone?

I told him I cannot handle his insecurities and if he does not change, that we better move on. Since then, he has not removed my picture on his dp until yesterday. I went for a wedding yesterday…my phone was on silent through out so when he was calling, I did not hear. There was a terrible traffic too, so when I got home, I just sent straight to bed.

This morning, I woke up to see that he called several times yesterday and because it was such a busy day and I did not call him back…he has gone to change his dp again. And went on Instagram to say: when they say you are the love of their life but they don’t call you or return your calls all day.

Like seriously, is this what we will be dealing with? I don taya. Is this a red flag? Am I going to be expecting this kind of reaction every time things don’t go his way? My guy is good Christian guy but I think he has serious insecurity issues and its beginning to bother me. Please advise…how do I deal with this?

I am so upset that me too…I have removed his picture from my dp. Me too, I can be petty na. Please tell me that I am not over reacting….Abeg…is this worth my time or should I move on?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

30 Ways To Make Your woman Happy - Take This Serious And See The Result

2021-11-12T07:04:00.003-08:00

It is not difficult and expensive to please a girl, especially if she loves you. As a man, it is your duty to give her more reasons to smile and make her feel loved and special. Though it may be difficult to understand a girl’s emotions, you can try different strategies to keep her happy.

Below are 30 easy things you can do to keep your woman filled with joy in her heart.

1. Tell Her That You Love Her.

Hold her hand, look deeper into her eyes, and say those three words with eight letters. This is one of the simplest yet most important rules in every relationship. Letting her know how much you love her and how special she is for you won’t even make a dent in your wallet but will surely make her delighted.

2. Write A Love Letter Or Leave Little Notes.

Giving your woman something to read that will show how you think and feel about her throughout the day is one of the sweetest things you can do to her.

3. Surprise Her With Gift/ Flowers.

Girls have the simplest form of happiness. You may drop by at home or her house or office unexpectedly. Sending her flowers without any occasion is one of the best ways to make your woman ecstatic.

4. Send Her Sweet Text Messages.

Shower her with sweet messages, tell her she is on your mind and let her know that you are missing her if she is not with you. Your message is not just a message, it’s her happiness.

5. Call Her.

At least call her once a day to ask how her day is going or what she is doing. She will appreciate it and will make her feel cared of.

6. Respect Her.

Give respect and you will receive respect. Always be chivalrous around your girl and learn to treat her like a princess. She’ll definitely love your courteous side and will make her satisfied even with just your simple acts.

7. Make Her Feel Secure.

Your protective streak will help you make your woman happy. When your girl feels secure around you, she’ll feel like you are someone she can depend on anything and she’ll instinctively feel happier to be in love with you.

8. Compliment Her.

Girls love compliments, it makes them feel more appreciated. So when you notice something nice about her, give her the praise she deserves. Adore her beautiful smile, admire her new attire, or tell her you love her smell.

9. Listen To Her.

Pay attention to her when she’s talking to you. Sometimes, girls only need someone who will listen to all their rants about life. She’ll surely love you for doing it.

10. Spend Time With Her.

This is one of the most important things you have to consider in every relationship. No matter how busy or hectic your schedule is, don’t forget to free your time and create sweet moments with her. Do things that will make your free time memorable together, even in the simplest ways.

11. Give Her Surprise Gifts.

You don’t have to buy expensive gifts. A simple treat of her favourite ice cream, a box of chocolates, or a movie ticket is enough to make your girl happy

12. Pamper Her.

Girls love to be pampered. Buy her the food she craves, tell her stories, recite romantic poems for her, or sing her favourite song.

13. Make Her Laugh.

Tell her about a hilarious incident that happened to you or some funny things you read somewhere. This is not difficult as you think; you just have to share funny thoughts to make her laugh. If your jokes don’t make her grin, you might just try to make funny faces.

14. Say Sorry To Her, Sincerely.

Do not hesitate to say sorry if you’ve made a mistake. Do this even about things that may have seemed trivial. Let her know that you care about her feelings. Of course, do it sincerely. And if you ask forgiveness through text or chat messages, make sure you spell SORRY correctly.

15. Give Her A Hug.

Give her a warm hug while smelling the scent of her hair. It will make your woman feel that her man always misses her.

16. Make Her Feel Special.

Make her feel that she is unique and not ordinary. So if you are making efforts for other people, make sure you are making the best or most special effort for her.

17. Thank Her For Every Little Effort She Does.

Never forget to show your gratitude or appreciation whenever she does something special or thoughtful for you. A simple “thank you” can brighten up her day and make all her efforts worth it.

18. Cook For Her.

Don’t worry if you aren’t a master chef — it’s the thought, willingness, and effort that counts. It will make her romantically excited and happy because you are not only trying to win her heart and mind but also her taste buds.

19. Hold Her Hand In Public.

It will make her feel protected, valued, and honoured. It will make her happy, having the thought that you feel proud and lucky to have her.

20. Always Be There To Lend A Hand.

You don’t have to be Superman or Batman, but saving her and solving her simple everyday problems, from carrying heavy luggage to finding a missing small stuff, will already make you her favourite superhero.

21. Include Her In Decision-Making.

You’re in a relationship so you should also act like one. Even though you’re the one who will decide which direction to take, also consider her ideas. She’ll see that you love her opinion and this will make her feel more valued.

22. Be Sweet To Her.

Staying sweet with her no matter how long you’ve been together proving that you still love each other. A simple “I love you” or a simple present for her is enough to make her happy. Of course only show your sweetness and romantic side to her, not with other women… if you don’t like her to feel jealous and be upset.

23. Set A Romantic Date.

Whether it’s in a fine dining restaurant, at the movie theatre, at the park, or just inside your home — it doesn’t matter. What really matters is that it is romantic

24. Be Loyal To Her.

Loyal men are rare to find nowadays. So if you can prove to her your loyalty, then it will absolutely make her feel blessed and happy.

25. Be Nice To Her Friends And Family.

Getting along with her friends and family will give your woman peace of mind for it means that she will have a life without conflicts among the people who are close to her heart. She will be happy to know that her husband, friends, and family are coexisting harmoniously.

26. Share Things With Her.

What’s yours is hers as well, whether it’s tangible like your bicycle or intangible like your secrets. She’ll be happy if you share things with her without any hesitations. Be open and trustworthy to her, as she is also open and trustworthy to you.

27. Go on a trip together.

Planning out on a week together feels better to keep away from all the stress at work. This will also help you bring back the passion and excitement in your relationship. Girls keep some relationship goals, and traveling together is probably one of them. So if you will help her achieve her relationship goals, that would be satisfying.

28. Show Her That You’re Interested In Her Interests.

You probably don’t care about the TV show she’s obsessed with. You don’t have to actively participate in all her interests. However, you have to show her that you acknowledge them. Show her some enthusiasm when she talks about them.

29. Value Her Point Of View.

Listen to her and let her say whatever decision she has in mind. Respect her point of view as you would expect her to respect yours.

30. Be True To Your Words; Be True To Your Actions.

Never ever lie to her, whether it’s through your words or through your actions. Do not be a liar and a great pretender. Finally, always make her happy because it’s what your loving and cheerful heart tells you so, not just because she wants it… or not just because, in this article, I have told you so.

There you have it! I hope this will help all the guys out there to keep their SPOUSE happy. Always remember that every girl deserves a man who will fill their heart, mind, and life with joy and gladness.

Submitted By Esther Edward

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

How Do I Choose Between Two Lovers For Marriage? I Need Advice Please

2021-11-12T07:03:00.001-08:00

I have been a little afraid to share my story because of the backlash I know I might get from this platform. But I do know that I will get great perspective from the reactions so even though I am a bit scared, I want to plead with everyone to please take it easy on me.

My name is Uche (not real name). I am 35 years old. I was married from 2010 to 2015. My marriage broke up because my wife could not wait for God’s time for our children. So, yes, when we got married, we started trying to have a baby and it was not forth coming. We tried several tests until it was revealed that my wife has ovarian cyst which was preventing her from taking in.

As a supportive husband, I tried to stand by her but she became very depressed soon as she got that news. Next thing, she revealed that her grandmother who is a prophetess actually revealed that I was not the one for her but she and her mother insisted on marrying me cos she did not believe the prophecy. According to her, if she married me, she would never find fulfilment.

So, even though, our inability to have a baby was not my fault, her grandmother’s prophecy was hanging over her head as a cloud. We quarrelled a lot. Sometimes, my folks were a bit worried too that we had no child yet but I didn’t tell them my wife was the one with the issue.

To be honest, I loved my wife so much, I was willing to adopt a child but she blatantly refused. And then, trouble started when she accused me of flirting other women just cos she was feeling insecure about her condition. I tried to put her mind at ease but it didn’t work. I got tired of fighting her and asked her what she wanted from me.

To my surprise, she said she wanted a divorce. I told her never. But she went ahead and filed a divorce. It took two years to finalize the divorce because I prayed and did everything in my power to try to change her mind. It was a bitter divorce. I felt pained and betrayed. I loved that woman with every inch of me.

Since then, I have been sceptical about getting married again. I started to date around 2017. It didnt work out until I met someone in 2019. She is nice and very eager for marriage but I wanted to be sure this would work. Along the line, in 2021, I also met someone else and I became very confused because I was in love as well.

Yes, I know this is where the backlash would come. Yes, I am in love with two women. I told myself, I need to make a choice but both women are amazing. So, I told myself, the first them to get pregnant for me would be my choice for marriage. I didn’t tell either of them although I suspected my second girlfriend knew I had someone else but she is not the nosey type so she does not bug me.

As things would pan out, my second girlfriend got pregnant and I was ecstatic. I proposed to her and I thought I had found my true one love. But as I tried to break up with the first lady, my heart could not take it. I finally realized that I wanted the first lady more than the second. So, I told my second girl that I made a mistake and I was in love with the first lady.

This broke her and she cried so much. I told her I wanted to have a baby with her though and she said she was not going to keep the baby if I was not going to make her a wife. And she threatened to remove the baby. I told her to give me time to think about it. And she gave me till the end of the month to decide if I wanted to marry her or the first woman.

If I do not choose her at the end of the month, she would abort the pregnancy. A baby that I wanted for so long. Yet, if I chose her…my heart will always be with the first lady. And so, I am confused and need advise on what to do. Of course, my family wants me to choose the pregnant one but the one that is not pregnant is nicer, kinder, prettier, and more mature and understanding partner.

So, I told the first lady what happened with the second lady. She said she would get pregnant if I wanted her to because she loves me and she will be happy to accept the other woman’s child as her own. You see how understanding she is!…I just pray she does not change like my first wife did cos women react to infertility in different ways. I don’t know.

So, I told the second lady that I cannot marry her but she should give me the baby to raise. She told me no and that I have until month end, else she will have an abortion.

So now, how do I convince her not have the abortion and give me the baby? Can I use police or sue her to court if she refuses to have the baby? I really love this baby she is carrying already but should I sacrifice my true love for this baby? If I do not marry her, she will abort this child and I may not be able to live with the fact that I made her to abort my baby.

Which of the two women should I stay with if you were in my shoes? I do not want a repeat of what happened in my first marriage too. I am so afraid of making a mistake the second time. I am a very emotional person. I feel so lost right now.

I crave your indulgence, don’t insult me…please advise me, honest answers please.. Thank you.

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

See How My Pregnant Wife Paid Me Back For My Kindness - What Do Women Really Want?

2021-11-12T07:01:00.003-08:00

What would you do if you discovered that the woman that you have sacrificed everything for is nothing but a backstabber, a betrayer, and a wicked woman? I met my girlfriend when she was in 300 level in school. I was working as a Manager in a warehouse. That was my first job after school. It didn’t pay much but I was happy cos I believe starting small is not a bad thing.

Amaka, my girlfriend was a struggling student and because I liked her, I used to send her 20k every month from my Salary of 65k. Her family was very grateful to me and they accepted me as their future son-in-law. There is nothing I didn’t do for Amaka. I was in love with her. She was the smartest girl in the world as far as I am concerned. Pretty, shy, and very respectful, my people loved her too.

We got married after she graduated. She got pregnant and even though, I was not so financially buoyant. But I provided for her cos she had not started working. She was expecting her NYSC call-up when she got pregnant. I asked her to defer so she can take care of the pregnancy and baby but she promised me that she can cope, so I agreed.

My wife, Amaka went to Camp when she was 4 months pregnant but she was not showing cos of her small stature. During the camp period, I got my brother to speak to one of the camp commandants to help me look after my wife especially because of her condition. However, I didn’t tell my wife. I only told her who to go to any time she has an issue on camp.

So, during the three weeks camp, my brother got feedback from the commandant. The commandant asked if we are really married cos he was shocked at my wife’s behaviour on camp. The commandant said he does not want to be the one to break anyone’s marriage but my wife never behaves like a married woman, not to talk of pregnant one at that matter.

I called my wife to ask her what was going on. That it appears she is misbehaving, maybe flirting with boys. She denied it vehemently and said maybe they were confusing her with someone else. I was confused cos the commandant sounded very sure of what he was saying.

So, I kept my cool. Trying to believe the right thing about my wife. So, after camp, we did all we could to redeploy her back home. It was proving difficult. I gave money so some people who eventually helped her get her redeployment. My wife finally came back home and posted to a primary school not too far from our home. They allowed her to come in just once a week because she is pregnant.

So, my wife was able to stay some time at home. The only issue was that I became suspicious again when would go for anti-natal care every week and spend almost the whole day. She complained of the crowd at the health centre. I understood cos I have been with her to the health centre once.

One day, when she was around 5 months pregnant, my wife told me she was going to the health centre and from there, she would go and visit her friend in Ajah. I asked her why so far since we live on the mainland in Ejigbo. She explained that she has not seen this lady for a long time. So, I said no problem. But she should be careful cos of her condition.

That day, I got back home so late from work, around 8.30 pm. My wife was not at home. I called and called her number cos I was worried. She didn’t pick up at first. Later, she said she didn’t hear the phone ring and she was in traffic. Long story short, she said the traffic is not moving and so she has decided to go back to her friend’s place to pass the night and will be back in the morning.

I was so upset with her and told her no married woman will behave like this. The next day, she did not arrive home before I left for work. She called m around 9am, that she was now home. I got home that evening and we had a serious quarrel. I told her that I would never tolerate her sleeping outside our home ever again cos married people do not sleep outside of their house.

My wife tried to defend herself, saying she could have been kidnapped if she continued coming home that night. I made up my mind to secretly follow her on her next hospital appointment. Her appointment was next Tuesday. I pretended to go to work but waited in a shop close to our house. Soon as I left, 20mins later, my wife came out of the house and got on a keke to the bustop. I followed closely on a bike.

At the bus stop, my wife took a bus to CMS( meanwhile, her anti-natal clinic is in Ejigbo). I entered the bus and sat at the back, disguising myself. At CMS, she took another bus to Ajah. I still followed disguising myself with sunglasses and a cap. After the long trip to Ajah, she got down at a bus stop and took Keke. I followed closely in another Keke. She got off in one street. And went into a house.

On getting into the house, she knocked on a door, a man opened the door and embraced my wife and she went inside. I could not believe my eyes. By now, I was breathing so hard, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I managed to wait like 20mins before I summoned up courage, and went to the same door my wife entered.

As I got close, my suspicions became clear: I could hear my wife moaning …my wife was f*cking the man. I knocked on the door and found out that it was not even locked. I opened it and right there spread like an Eagle, this man, was pounding my wife. I didn’t do anything, I only brought out my phone, videoed them, and left. My wife was shocked…the man was like…who are you?

I did not wait to hear any explanation or begging. I got home and threw her things out and cried like a baby. My wife and I were over. Her family, everyone pleaded and pleaded…I said no need. I was done. I told her after she put to bed, I would do a paternity test for the child. I am so pained and disappointed in my wife. I did her no wrong. All she could say was that she was tempted.

Her mother said she was jazzed. How? This is a 26-year-old woman. I miss her every day, I wish I could forgive her and we go back to being married but I cannot get the mental picture of her with that man on top of her. Who knows how many more men have been sleeping with her.

Why do women do this to good men? I never treated her badly, gave her all my love, my money and my life. Can we ever move past this? My baby is due in three and a half months. How will I be able to look at that child even if he or she turns out to be mine? Knowing their mother cheated on me when they were in her tummy.

I am still trying to comprehend what I did wrong to deserve this…please what did I do wrong? and those asking me to forgive her because of the baby, will you actually do that if you were in my shoes?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

My Pregnant Girlfriend Ran Away With My Baby - Help Me

2021-11-12T07:00:00.003-08:00

She travelled home and she told me that she has no money to come back, I sent her N12500. But I was surprised that her number stopped going through and I was restless. After the first day on the road, she called me to tell me that her step brother took her two phones inside her back and went away. I was surprised and asked her if the brother dropped her sim card and she said yes. After three days on the road ,she finally came home past 11pm . When I went to open the gate for her, I saw that they were two girls outside, I let the both inside, she told me it was her step sister, I said ok because at this moment I thought maybe her sister is going somewhere else.

In the morning I woke up before then and I was at the bathroom when my girlfriend came in, I asked her , that she planned bringing her sister here without informing me , she said that it’s none of my business if she bring her sister, that her sister will not stay with me because she already has a work for her. I was angry but I kept quiet since she said that the said girl won’t be staying in my house. Before this my girlfriend stays with me but her belongings are not in my house, they are in her own place.

After about 5 days later , I got her another android phone because she was already asking for it because a guy bought a phone for her sister just in her four days in the city.

They will always come to my house to eat in the morning, on one particular day, I have yam at home and I bought everything that we will need to make porridge, I called them to come in the morning. Immediately they came, her sister opened the fridge to check for bread but couldn’t find any, my girlfriend gave her money to go buy one and eat, when they are done eating, I asked them to go cook the food, I followed my girlfriend to the kitchen but her sister stayed back, put on an earphone, on the fan and television, laid down. After 10 minutes in the kitchen I went inside to meet her and asked her to go help out in the kitchen, she just stood up and left my house. I told her that I don’t want to see her in my house again. My girlfriend after preparing the food, she fished in the flask and took it to her, I did not even ask her why because I know that she won’t have the heart to eat without her sister.

Right from that moment, my girlfriends behavior changed too, she will no longer call me on phone or come to my house, At their working place, her boss started complaining of her change in attitude since she brought her sister there.

Her boss was tired of complaining and sacked them. They came to my house when I was the kitchen, she joined me in the kitchen but her sister was inside. After cooking , we ate together in the kitchen and I went straight to stay at the balcony, she came to me and told me that they are going to her brothers place that she will be back.

It had been days now and she doesn’t pick my calls and I don’t even know where they are right now.

I have called with different numbers and she wasn’t picking.

This morning I called the numbers severally until a guy picked up, I asked after the owner of the phone and he told me that she is not around now, I told him whom I am and the said girl is pregnant for me. He was shocked and told me that they are together now in a different state with me. This is to say the said girl has ran to meet another guy with my pregnancy.

My friend also called the guy and introduced himself as my elder brother, he explained everything to him and he promised to call us back when he get home, that he was not aware that she is pregnant, that he is going to send her back to where she came from by tomorrow.

This evening they flashed me and I called them they will busy the call. Her number hasn’t been going through since then.

Many women have advised me to let her be for now that she will come back begging when she sees that no man is ready to take her in when the pregnancy starts coming out. Others said I should pet her to come back then talk sense into her.

To me right now, I have tried my best and I have chosen to stop looking for her.

Many people on this forum warned me about TIV girls and their promiscuous nature but I defended her thinking that she is different.

I have been avoiding my moms calls because I know that she will ask after her

I can’t sleep and I can no longer concentrate on anything I’m doing. It’s affecting me psychologically .

But this evening when I came back to the shop

My boy told me that she saw her sister and called her to the shop, he asked her about my girlfriend and she said she was at home (their brothers house) she said it’s the next street after mine but I can’t locate the particular house.

But I’m sure she is no longer in this state

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

My Relationship Is About To Hit The Rock: My Girlfriend Locks Her Phones Constantly While Sleeping

2021-11-12T06:59:00.002-08:00

Guys I need your help here, me and my gal have been together for 6 yrs now, I was convinced that she’s the one for me, so I decided to engage her late last year, at least to show that her position in my life is not taken for granted , we have really been through hell for each other even when there was nothing she was there for me, but thank God today I’m working now.

Now for the past 2 yrs, It looks as if I have been struggling to keep her, cos we have been cohabiting since I came back from NYSC. Since I came back over two years now she has been misbehaving , she locks her phone constantly, something she never did before, even if its opened the apps are lock only her can open it, if complain about that she will respond like why will I touch her phone, asking me who does that, to touch a woman’s phone even to go to social media, and she has being subjecting me to that because I don’t trust her, when we are about to sleep she put her phone on flight mode, and put it under her pillow and put her head on top. Her phone is constantly on silent mode during day time so if it rings she will determine whom to pick so I won’t hear and know. We can’t watch movie together as partners perhaps she afraid of who will call next ,because she knows I will give her hit.

If I manage to pick up her call she will be shivering,

We have had a lot of issues because of her giving in to distractions , I’m tired of talking , I don beat her tire my hand don bend. I have told her if u don’t want me again and you have seen somewhere better , open up and tell me instead of cheating that will be honourable thing to do. I don tire for this gal, if I drive her away she has no where to go. The school she’s going I’m the one supporting her, her family is not giving her enough support because the don’t believing in education all the know is business, and I’m the only one bearing her load and I'm not doing that because i want to marry her, I'm doing it because she needs help and she is my lover.

She doesn’t want to loose me because we have really suffered together so she want to keep me as potential husband and still be playing games outside , what crime did I do to go for service so I can come back and make life better for us, cos that was when she got spoilt. I deflowered her and that's not how I left her.

I have resolved chasing her away, right now I’m in offshore , I never trusted her while I was on land is it now that I’m offshore I will trust her?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

Is He Trying To Break Up With Me?: My Boyfriend Has Not Called Me For Days

2021-11-12T06:54:00.003-08:00

Good day Admin, I need your advise on this. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year plus…but we are having issues and its getting quite heated that we have not spoken to each other for almost one week. I am beginning to think that we should call it off. I love him so much, he is nice and caring but he is doing something I consider a deal breaker for me.

So, my boyfriend is into real estate and investment. He is still coming up though. So, he manages investment for people and does real estate sales and consulting as well. You see, real estate business, you have to maintain a network of the kind of people that have money to invest in real estate.

In this Lagos, a lot of rich women, single women or even married rich women love to do business with young men who not only service their business but they seek s8xual favours in return. I noticed my boyfriend has a lot of female clients and they seem quite friendly with him….even flirty with him.

When I first noticed it, I called him out and he explained to me that he does not go beyond flirting, that its part of business PR. I told him I don't like it but he said its nothing that he ever goes beyond flirty comments. So, I tried my best to remove my eyes from his business.

But last month, a particular lady started calling him at odd hours, almost everyday. I ignored the calls. But I became concerned when he would not take her calls in front of me. I asked him why…he said nothing. I became upset and accused him of doing something he knows is wrong. He said its a big project for him and he wants to keep it a secret cos he wants to surprise me when he makes the huge profit from the deal.

But when he was not looking, I got really curios and took his phone. Read his chats with the mystery business caller. Indeed, it was a woman….not just any woman…his ex girlfriend. True, they were talking business but she was also telling him stuff like she misses him …how he makes her orgasm and he must give her own cut of the business after by making her feel good.

By feel good…meaning have s*x with her so she can experience the orgasm that she has missed so much. And my boyfriend replied…no qualms baby. Just make sure the man makes payment. And a lot of plenty dirty talks between them. I also read a few other chats with other women. All of them similar to the one he has with his ex.

The only difference was they were not being explicit …just them using love tones like baby girl, my love, etc. I felt so angry and I confronted my boyfriend. He was upset instantly when he found out I checked his phones. He said I had no right and if I have to be sneaking behind him to check his phone…that maybe we shouldn’t be together.

That felt like he was flipping things on me: instead of addressing the issue of his ex and him…he is making it look like I am the one with the issue of lack of trust. I told him that I may not trust him if he is planning to go and give his ex an orgasm. He said they were just playing…that she talks like that but that she is married and will not cheat on her husband….that if I doubt him…I can call the ex and she will tell me its all joke.

How will I know that the ex will not truly do as she said….married or not? How will I know if she is lying if she says they are joking? We quarrelled and argued badly that day and I left in anger. I expected him to call me to apologize and he never did. I have waited for days and he has not said anything. I feel like calling him to make up but I feel so hurt.

I really do not want to break up cos I love and miss him but if this is the type of business he is involved in…I do not know if I can live with continuous heart attack. Please advise me. I really miss him and if we don’t make up soon…I feel this maybe over for us.

Am I over reacting? Usually when we have a fight or argument…he calls me to make up but he hasn't called ….maybe he is trying t break up with me? Should I call him?….but is this this whole thing just truly business or is there more to this kind of lifestyle my boyfriend has? Post and advise please.

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Google

My Aunty Found Forbidden Love That Has Divided Our Family - Please Read

2021-11-12T06:53:00.004-08:00

Hello admin, Please advice me. Years ago, when I just got married, I and my husband had some of our siblings living with us because both of us first born from our parents. We wanted to help our younger ones staying with us at the time.

Because we were living in a 3 bedroom apartment, I had my aunty who was helping me with our small children staying in one room with my husband’s younger brothers. One of the brothers was looking for a job at the time while the other one was in school. It was not a comfortable living arrangement but that was the best we could afford because our children were in one room and myself and hubby were in the master bedroom.

Years later, my husband’s brother got a job and he moved out of our home. Not long after, he brought someone he wanted to marry. A lovely girl and we all accepted her. But after marriage, it seemed like this guy was having issues with his marriage cos it was always issues with his wife.

The wife kept complaining about her husband cheating on him. That he is always on the phone with girls…my husband and myself scolded him many times but he kept saying his wife is just being ridiculous and exaggerating. This continued for almost 2 twos. Their issues were compounded because this lady was not able to conceive for him too.

They finally separated. I noticed that this guy started coming to our house when his wife moved out to take food. Which is understandable. I mean, his wife left him so anyone would understand that he may need home made food and him coming to our house for food was no surprise.

What turned out to be a surprise however is that one day, my aunty was making food and said that this guy had sent her money to help him cook different soups and stew. So that he can store them in the freezer since he had no wife. I was like: why will this guy send my aunty on this kind of errand but I still tried to be on the understanding side. And that is how my aunty started cooking for him and he will come and pick up the foods she made.

Sometimes, my aunty will take the food to him. He will send a driver or give her money for Uber. Like I said, its a family situation and we all truly believe in helping each other. But this guy’s former wife then called me one day and was shouting. That she found out why he marriage did not work out. That she found out that my aunty and my husband’s brother are f*cking each other.

I was like: this woman is really crazy and must have lost it totally. Maybe she heard my aunty was cooking for her husband and felt threatened but to suggest that my aunty was sleeping with her husband was crazy. So, I told my husband. My husband and I called his brother and he of course went mad and said his wife was lying. The entire family was mad with her for that lie she was trying to cook up.

However, this woman came with receipts. Apparently, she hid spies around her husband’s house, the gate man and some of her neighbors told her that they see her husband and my mum having s8x. We had to call my aunty to ask her. She tried to deny it but I told her that there were witnesses. My aunty began to cry and confessed. My head started to spin.

So my aunty is single. She raised me and my brothers by herself when our mother died at age 7. She lived with us even when our father remarried and his new wife didn’t want to see us. Later, my father also died. Aunty was engaged but she never married. We heard rumors then that she had an affair with my dad and her fiancé dumped her. We all thought it was a lie. But she never been with any man since my dad’s death. Or so I believed.

My aunty confessed that , my husband’s brother found her attractive and even though she never wanted to fall for him, that they became attracted to each other when he was living in our house. I love and trust my aunty. She is the only mother me and my siblings know. Why did she have to treat us like this? She said we are being unfair to her. That she has never known a man’s love all her life….that we should be happy for her that she found someone. But must that someone be my brother in-law? Must she divide my family to find her own happiness?

By this time, I was crying. I was like: what has my aunty and brother in-law done? What kind of incestuous story is this? My husband’s brother was called in to hear to say his own side of the matter and he did not deny anything. He said they are both in love. That they feared what our reaction would be…so that is why they kept their affair a secret. My husband was so furious that he took a decision and told my aunty to move out.

He also warned both of them to stop the rubbish they are doing but guess what: my aunty moved in with my brother in-law. And now, my husband’s entire family is against me. They are blaming me for my aunty’ s actions. I love my aunty …I know she must have felt lonely all these years after my father’s death but why my brother in-law who is 2 years younger than me?

I have pleaded with her and my siblings have also pleaded with her but she said we don’t understand…that she and this guy are happy and that we should respect their decision. My aunty was 49 years old. This guy was 33 years. I was 35 years old then. Even threats of banishment and disowning both of them have not deterred them. I am so ashamed of my aunty .

Its been two years after. This matter has affected my marriage. Put a strain between me and my in-laws. They put pressure on my husband to divorce me. But my husband refused. My aunty is pregnant for this guy. They got married last year and now they are expecting a child. Is this God’s will? How do I convince my aunty that she is bringing a curse to our family? (That is what my inlaws are saying…that its a curse because their son is younger and she is like my mother…so its incest)

My mother’s family have tried all they can to intervene but these two did not listen to anyone. I fear for the future…my marriage will never be the same …I don’t know if I can ever convince my in-laws to forgive me or my aunty and allow peace to reign.

Since then, none of them talk to me or visit me. They also don’t want to see me. When we visit them I am ignored, so I stopped going to see them. They say my aunty has seducing spirit and seduced their son. They are even saying maybe she may have even killed my mother to try and take my dad from her. But this woman was kind to us. Can any of this be true? What did I do wrong? Can I ever make this right?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: theculturetrip

They Defended My Molester And Called Me Home Wrecker - I'm Lost

2021-11-12T06:52:00.002-08:00

My name is Felicia (not real name sha). I am 27 years old and in love with the best man in the world. I am however afraid because of something I found out. I found out that my boyfriend of over a year is related to someone who destroyed my life and now, I don’t know if there is future with us anymore.

I grew up in a broken home. My father left my mother and never cared about me or my siblings. My mother was having a hard time and I was a very troubled kid. Now, I now I was rebelling because I felt angry that my father left us.

I got into a lot of fights and trouble as a young girl. I was only 14 but I was stubborn, fought in school, got suspended many times and my mother used to beat me and then I began to fight her back. My mother then went to a family friend to ask for his help with me.

That family friend was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. This man pretended to be advising me to my mother but he was doing terrible things to me. Like I said, I was just 14. My mother felt I needed a father figure in my life, so when she could not handle me, she went to meet this man, who was like a family friend to us to advise me.

So, this man would send for me anytime I got into trouble and would be pretending to talk sense into me but he was telling me how such a beautiful girl like me deserves to be loved by someone who cares deeply for her. And like I said, I was seeking for the love of a father that I never had…so when he began to profess his love for me, I thought he was being good to me.

This man, started to abuse me s8xually for many years. He would tell me many lovely things, tell me I am beautiful, he would give me money and he would tell me to always come to him anytime I feel I need help. I went to him willingly from the age of 14 to 16…he was having s8x with me and my mother never knew.

I managed not to get pregnant because after s8x, he would make sure I drank the pill immediately. That went on for two years until one day, I got back from school early. I was sent home because I did not buy a particular text book. I got home and found my mother and this family friend f*cking each other.

I screamed and cried. The man quickly gathered himself and my mother started cursing me for coming into the room without knocking, we lived in a one room apartment. I ran away outside until evening. When I came back, my mother was ready with a cane to beat me cos she was still angry with me.

It was when she wanted to beat me that I told her that this man has been sleeping with me for two years. My mother fell to the ground and started crying. She blamed herself for everything. She began to ask for my forgiveness. Then the next day, she told me to pack my things and go and live with my father’s sister in Lagos.

Of course, I did not want to leave. I felt she was punishing me for finding out I was sharing her lover with her. But she said if I don’t leave, I should pack out of her house. That is how I came to Lagos and started living with my Aunt. My aunt was kind to me even though she used me as house girl for years.

My Aunt and her husband who are ministers of God took me in, mentored me and I gave my life to God. Things became different. I went to a good school and I received care and protection. Me and my dad even reconciled but I never told anyone what happened between me and my mother.

I went to University of Ghana and graduated with a degree in Pharmacy. That was where I met my boyfriend. He runs a chain of pharmaceutical stores in Ghana. We bonded when we discovered we were from the same town back in Nigeria. He used to talk a lot about his family…they seemed like very nice people. I have spoken to the parents on phone several times.

I graduated last year and I remained in Ghana where we got engaged. So, this year, we planned to go see his parents and mine in Nigeria in April this year. It was when we met his mother and we got talking, they asked about my upbringing and all. I then found out that my fiance’s father is a brother to the same man that abused me for many years.

This was a bad dream for me. Very bad dream. I was so shaken that I fell ill. We had to return to the hotel so I can rest. I could not sleep that night. I battled and fought the urge to tell my fiancé what had just happened. I couldn’t anymore and then I woke him up and told him.

My fiancé was in disbelief. He was like why didn’t I tell him all these years. I told him I have never told anyone in my life about that terrible time of my life. He was so shocked and he said he was going to confront his Uncle. I told him not to worry cos I don’t want to relive that bad time of my life. I begged him to keep the secret and not tell anyone. He agreed.

So, we came back to Lagos and met my Auntie and my dad who also gave their Blessings. The wedding is supposed to be in August this year. But since we returned to Ghana, my fiancé started to act funny. Few weeks after we returned, I sensed he was being distant and I asked him was the matter. He kept saying nothing. I suspected it had something to do with what I told him about his Uncle.

And I confronted him if that was the issue, he said yes. For some reason, my fiance betrayed me and revealed the secret to his Mother. His mother told his father and that is how the mother said that we cannot get married because they remembered that Uncle had an affair with a woman and that woman was my mother. That the uncle’s wife almost died because of that woman who was my mother.

Now, that they feel if the uncle’s wife finds out that their son is not only marrying the daughter of the woman that almost broke her marriage but also slept with her husband, that she will be crushed again. They are worried about what their family and their cousins would think if they found out about me marrying their son…

First of all, I was so disappointed my fiancée told his parents. Now his parents are calling me and my mother home breakers. They even said we used jazz on their Uncle cos he lost his mind when he was with my mother. They do not see that their uncle destroyed my life. That was so hurtful, they opened those wounds from my past…

I broke up with my fiancé. I was so hurt and did not want to see him again. He also did not talk to me for two weeks. But he came back saying he has thought about everything and feels he cannot do without me and wants me to forgive him so we can move on with my life.

My fiancé has been begging me but I do not know how to forgive him and his parents. I can actually forgive him but how do I see his parents after this? I mean, they now know the darkest secret of my life …not even my Auntie knows. I am not sure I can have a normal relationship with my Fiancé’s parents after what they said about me and my mother.

Yes, I do not visit my mother for many years but we talk sometimes on the phone …she may have made mistakes which am not sure I can totally forgive but for the man I want to marry to allow his family to see me as a slot instead of a victim of s8xual abuse is something I am not sure I can live with.

I love my fiancé so much. He is like I said the sweetest man but I do not know if I can ever have a peaceful marriage life with him and his family for what they know. I wish I never told my fiancé cos my mother actually warned me never to tell anyone cos she feared something like this might happen.

Yes, I know it’s crazy to know that mother and daughter slept with same man but I was a minor…I was a victim…the adults who were supposed to protect me…abused me…how do I even consider making this union with my fiancé work…will my dark past always hang over my head that a terrible shadow of dark clouds? Please I need your advice before I make a mistake and complicate the situation further.

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: takebackthenight

My Secret Is Eating Me Up Should I Confess Or Lie To My Fiancé? Please Help Me

2021-11-12T06:51:00.002-08:00

You see this life is full of ups and downs. I have found my own share of ups and downs…I am in a dilemma. I am battling within myself on what to do. I need your advice cos its eating me up. I am what you call a typical good girl. I was raised by religious parents, from a good home.

Throughout my growing up, I was determined to live by the standards I was raised by. I kept myself as a virgin even when the pressure was much. I dated my first boyfriend in my final year in school but broke up when all he wanted was s8x in the end. I met my current boyfriend two years later, after youth service.

Frank (not real name) is a sweet man. I love him so much. He is also a godly man and we have been together for almost two years now. Frank respects my will to remain a virgin until we get married which was supposed to be last year but he lost his job during the pandemic, so we decided to wait a little bit for him to be a bit stable before we get married.

In April this year, I got a job, to come and furnish a new hotel. I am an interior designer. The job was from a friend’s brother whom I have known for years. Let us call him Olamide. Olamide got me this big contract and gave it to me but told me that I must promise to give him his own cut. I agreed. The contract is like the biggest I have ever done actually.

I went into work mode and brought in my team to carry out the job. Every time I kept thanking Olamide for the contract. I even made Frank my fiancé thank him for me. Then one day, Olamide called me. he was very angry. He was shouting, saying that we messed up the job. Apparently, the hotel owner discovered that one of the supplies we made was below standard and was not happy about it.

Olamide threatened to pull me off the contract and I started to beg him. He said I must correct the mistake and make it up to him. I agreed. I quickly went to correct the mistake. Olamide then called me to see him for a meeting to discuss. The meeting was in the hotel pent house. I got there and waited for him cos he was on a zoom call for several minutes.

After he finished, he started talking to me, saying, Esther, you fall my hand, how could you do this to me, after all I did for you. You know how hard I fought for you to get the contract, he was just talking and I kept apologizing to him. He then said, you must make it up to me, I told him I have corrected the mistake…he said he knows that I must make it up to him and give him his cut as I promised.

I told him he will get his cut after we finished the job. Well, Olamide laughed and said he is in the mood to collect the job now and right there, I was still trying to understand what he meant and the next thing, Olamide came to me and tried to kiss me. From begging him and laughing with him, I became serious and told him to stop.

He was like, come on Esther, you know I like you, why else will I give you a 12 Million contract? I was like…no, this can’t be…sorry am engaged and he was like…fuck that looser…I will take care of you better than that jobless fool you call a boyfriend. I thought we were still talking but Olamide meant business, he pinned me down and began to kiss and caress me.

By now, I was frantic …I have never been in this condition before…I tried to fight but Olamide is a much bigger and stronger man…. I never suspected he could do this… I have been friends with his sister for over 9 nines years. I trusted him even though we all knew he was a womanizer but never did I know he had eyes for me.

Before I knew it, Olamide had overpowered me and started to push himself on me. I was hurting and very scared. Olamide forced himself on me…he was shocked I was still a virgin…infact, it excited him so much to discover that. He rode on me so hard, I was bruised and blooded. It was horrible. I got deflowered by Olamide.

The fool and wicked Olamide realized what he has done …he asked me to marry him instantly. That he has never been with a virgin before. I was crying and all I wanted to do was leave. He started to apologize saying he didn’t realize …. that he thought I was just playing hard to get. He transferred 500k to me asked me to forgive him.

I don’t know how I managed to get home that day but I was so sad that I did not know how to tell Frank…I faked illness and avoided Frank. I was so sad…. but Olamide kept sending me messages of love and all that craziness. I ignored him. I could not even tell anyone…cos I felt so bad to have lost my V before marriage…something I prided myself in for all my life.

After a week, I read that the first attempt at s8x does not always mean the cervix is open completely, and so I decided to forget what happened and focus on my relationship. But I made a mistake by not blocking Olamide no on my phone…well, I did not cos we are still business partners right?

That was my mistake …cos Olamide never stopped sending me messages of love and talking rubbish about the ‘time’ we spent together. That was how, Frank was holding my phone while I was in the shower when he came to visit. I never hid my phone from Frank before …he also does not hide his phone. So, when my phone kept buzzing with test messages, he read the test thinking it was urgent.

Now, Frank read all the messages from Olamide and when I got out of the shower, Frank looked at me like he saw a ghost. He just asked me: Esther, what did you do with Olamide? I looked at him, realizing what has happened…I broke down and began to cry and tried to tell him what happened. But Frank did not believe me. He said why did I go to Olamide’s pent house? why did I not tell him almost one week after.

All my explanation to Frank did not make sense. He faulted me and blamed me for losing my virginity to a playboy after he has been good to me and been waiting for our wedding night to take what is his but I gave it out to a playboy. That he was betrayed and heartbroken. Frank left in anger.

For days…I cried and begged him. But I was also angry cos he did not believe me. Frank broke up with me and said there was nothing to look forward to, cos I had given myself to someone else and taken away your wedding night gift and given to another man. I was so hurt…I even thought of committing suicide.

After much begging and keeping malice with me for almost a month later, Frank came back and accepted me back. He told me he could not do without me and wants us to get back together. All that happened to me, I never noticed I did not see my period. It was after I reconciled with Frank that I noticed. I quickly got a pregnancy test kit and it was positive.

Now, I am dead…what am I going to do? Losing my virginity before marriage was bad…. I been praying to God to forgive me…. but getting pregnant for the man who forced himself on me is worse…I am dead…how do I explain this? I took morning pills after the incident with Olamide…why me…why God?

I am so scared…how do I tell Frank…this he surely cannot forgive…we will be broken up forever…and I am totally against abortion cos that is murder from the way my parents raised me. I was so scared I did not know what to do…the only idea that came to me was to seduce Frank and sleep with him…so I can claim the pregnancy is his.

Yes I knew that is a lie but I had no choice…I invited Frank, told him I wanted to make it up to him…for letting another man take what is rightfully his…I seduced him…pushed him to have s8x with me…he kept asking…are you sure…are you ok? I said yes…funny, it was still painful when Frank tried to penetrate me.

I kept crying quietly when I remember how Olamide took my V…and now, Frank…the man I love making love to me…before marriage…against all my moral upbringing…just so I can pin the pregnancy on him…. what would God think of me…what would my parents think of me…I am lost for words…I am in pain…in pain of this secret of mine…

How will I do this to Frank? A man who only loved me and forgave me…do you think he will forgive me still if I told him the truth? Or should I go on with my plan and tell him the baby is his? You see my dilemma…this is not how I envisioned my life…I am so unhappy…

Or should I give up the lie, tell Frank…if he does not accept me, should I accept Olamide’s marriage proposal? Olamide told his sister about us, telling her to beg me to marry him. She has been begging me…that his brother is in love with me…that she has never seen him so serious about a woman…that I could be the one to change him. (Olamide and his sister are not aware of the pregnancy though)

Dear readers, Please I need your advice on how to handle this issue. Thank you.

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

How This Lady Found Out That Her Boyfriend Had Faked His Own Death

2021-11-12T06:50:00.003-08:00

One thing about men is that they will show you things you’ve never seen before. But you know who else will show you things? It’s your in-laws, and in Sheri’s case specifically, her boyfriend’s mother.

Five years ago, Sheri received a phone call that would change the trajectory of her entire life. You see, she had been dating this guy, Michael, the supposed love of her life. She had dated him for almost a year and she couldn’t imagine life without him. According to her, they were soul mates and she could see herself being his wife in the near future. She thought he felt the same way, until one day, there was a big loophole to the story.

Anyway, back to the phone call. It was Michael’s mother. This was rare. On several occasions, she had openly shown that she didn’t like Sheri. So the first question Sheri asked herself was, “Who has died?” She wasn’t wrong. The phone call was about Michael.

“She…Sheri….” Michael’s mother said as she wept over the phone.

“What is it? What is it, mama?” Sheri asked, worried to death.

“It’s…It’s Michael. He’s gone,” she said.

Sheri let out a scream, and without knowing it, she threw the phone to the ground and started to weep. She would later come to find out that her boyfriend had been in an accident and had died on the spot.

Sheri cried for days and nights. She had tried to reach him over the phone but to no avail. She couldn’t bear the thought of her first love not being there anymore. He was her everything. How could he have left her?

Michael’s mother called Sheri a few days later, asking her not to attend the funeral.

“Since the two of you were not married, I wouldn’t want any rumors going around the family,” she said.

“But mama, I want to pay my last respects. I really loved that man,” Sheri answered.

She begged and begged her but to no avail. Michael’s mother was adamant about the fact that tradition did not allow “random” women to pay respects to people who had died, and especially not young single men.

Sheri mourned his death. She still couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he was gone. She cried herself to sleep, cried when she woke up and cried during the day. Eventually, she moved on with her life.

Then, one day, Sheri met Michael at a mall with his wife and twins. She nearly fainted, thinking that she had lost her mind.

“Babe, can you and the kids wait for me in the car? I’m coming,” Michael said, and his wife obeyed.

Sheri stood there as tears started to trickle down her face. The maths was not adding up, and the more she thought about it the more confused she became.

“It was my mum’s idea that I fake my own death. I had no choice. I’m sorry,” he said.

Sheri watched him in disbelief. She had no words.

“I impregnated my current wife, and both our families wanted me to marry her. She later gave birth to twins. Please come with me to the car. I don’t want any issues with my wife later,” he said, and Sheri found herself obeying his request.

As they approached the car, his wife was giving Sheri an eye. It’s like she knew there was something fishy going on.

“Sheri, meet my wife Lisa. Lisa, this is Sheri, I know her from church. She was asking me if I can make a contribution for something,” Michael said. Sheri stretched her hand to greet Lisa, but she looked at her hand and didn’t stretch hers back.

Michael opened his wallet and gave Sheri two thousand. He politely said that it was nice to meet her after such a long time. Sheri’s facial expressions must have betrayed her because she still had not come to terms with what was going on.

Michael and Lisa left Sheri standing in the parking lot in disbelief at what had just happened.

This story is inspired by a story we found on Twitter.

Story Source: Twitter

Featured Image Source: theguardian

I Am Losing My Freedom Due To The Relationship With My Female Boss - Please Help Me

2021-11-12T06:49:00.001-08:00

Dear Dateoma readers, I need your counsel. My boss and I are involved in a relationship that has been going on for almost 4 years. It all started when I interviewed for the job of a School Administrator. I had been looking for a job for 5 years after university. But all the jobs I got were small teaching jobs which paid small monies. I was truly not satisfied cos I could barely pay my bills with my small Teacher salary.

So when I heard about an opening for School administrator that would pay 70k, I went for the interview. The proprietress of the school, a divorcee took interest in me and asked me to see her for final interview two days later. I met with her in her office. She told me she wanted to hire me but she feels that I don’t have enough experience for the job.

Then she said she wants to give me a trial but I must prove to her that I really want the job. I told her I will do anything. She laughed and said are you sure, I said yes: and next thing, she unbuttoned her blouse and asked me to s*ck her breast…I looked at her in surprise but she smiled and said…young man…you are single right? I said yes ma…she then said…well, if you want this job, I can give it to you and I will change your life.

I needed the job badly, so I obliged her. We ended up having s8x in her office that day. Like she said, I got the job and all I had to do work late enough…I am usually the last to leave the school and I would go and f*ck her almost everyday. True to her words, I have benefitted from her. She gave me liberty to run the school…she gave me an official car, rented a bedroom apartment for me.

To me, we were both single and I somehow began to have feelings for her. She also fell in love with me. She introduced me to her family and her daughters who were boarding school. I was practically like family to them. A year later, she asked me if I ever think of marrying her. I told her I would like to but my mother would never agree to me marrying someone older than me.

This made her sad cos she was in love with me. But she is 47 years old and I am 31. The age bracket is too much. And plus, I feel I will never be a man of my own if we marry. She practically gave me everything I have. So, two years after, I told her that we have to stop…that I want to focus on getting married …I got another job and I resigned.

When I resumed at my new job. I met a young lady and we started dating but I started having alot of changes with the new school I got a job from. They were not paying salaries on time. School business is always like that. I could not cope after 6 months. This lady I was dating, even though she seemed like she loved me too but she was not keen that I was having financial challenges, she told me that if I was not ready to settle down, that there will be no need.

We then broke up. I struggled in my job, with financial difficulties especially during the pandemic that many schools could not pay salaries. I had no choice but to go back to my former boss/lover. She had gotten someone else to take my former job but she took me back as school director …of course, I resumed my f*cking duties as well.

When I came back, I noticed a young youth corper had been employed in the school. She was dark and slender and very pretty. It was love at first sight but knowing my situation, I left any thoughts to pursue her alone. But fate would have her become friends with me. I found out she was also a niece to my boss.

Clearly this young lady had eyes for me. I did everything to avoid her. She noticed it and confronted me. She said that she noticed I was avoiding her. I told her yes cos I was in a relationship. she did not believe me. She said everyone knows I am single. I wish I could tell her but I just laughed and started to run away from her even more.

Until somehow, she tracked my house and showed up at my doorstep one evening. I was surprised but she was determined. While I tried to be as professional as possible, she was ready for something more. I told her my relationship status was complicated and she said she does not mind.

This girl wanted me not minding that I told her the issue. We ended up having s8x that day and it became a regular. I am finding it hard to keep up with both women in my life. I fear one of them will soon find out about each other and I might loose my job. I really need this job …its hard to get a good paying job in my sector these days.

I need your advise. The youth corper and I are very cool. I like her alot. She even used to joke about my invincible side chick that she has never met. She does not pry into my situation but I feel like, we are getting tighter and tighter…things might change. My boss has noticed that I have a closeness to her niece…she asked me and I lied.

I fear of what might happen in the near future. It easy to say leave the job but I have no where to turn to. I feel trapped. My biggest problem is that this girl not knowing what I have with her Aunty-my boss, went to tell her that she is in love with me…that she even got pregnant for me but knowing that I had a side chick, she wants to abort the pregnancy.

My boss called me and that is how I got exposed. She told me to end everything with the niece or get fired. Even though I loved the niece so much, I had to break up with her over a text. This girl had been calling me since…refused to pick. She then sends a message that she is pregnant. I already know that,…but I blocked her line. She came to my place but I made sure I was not around for weeks.

Eventually she cornered me in school and tried to make a scene. I had to agree to meet her to discuss this weekend. Now what am I going to tell her? Boss lady said I should just tell her its over…that she should get rid of the pregnancy or I should deny it…I feel like a horrible person…I feel like I am getting more and more into a ditch.

I wish I can just disappear from the situation but that would mean, I may return to my village in shame. City life is hard. How many jobs are there for a graduate of philosophy? The time is just not right. Please don't judge me…if only you are in my shoes.

I feel terribly guilty and sad but God knows my heart…I have no other source of livelihood and I cannot jeopardize this job right now….that was when this thought came to me: what if I reveal my relationship with her Aunty to this girl…and then tell her to threaten to expose her aunty if she forces us to break up? Will that work? Or will that put me in more trouble?

I have an innocent baby in this crossfire and I don’t even have the courage to man up and take responsibility like a man cos of my financial situation. I need your candid counsel please.

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Google

My Marriage Is Collapsing: Will Adoption Save It? Please Advice Me

2021-11-12T06:48:00.001-08:00

Life can be very cruel. I grew up with my Aunty cos my mother lost her life in an accident when I was 3 years old. My father remarried and the new wife did not want me around. Even though my father provided for me, my aunty never showed much kindness to me. It was my old grandmother that showed me love but she passed on when I was 11 years old.

Growing up with my Aunty was hard. She also was unlucky in relationship. Her boyfriend whom she got pregnant for, married someone else. Her daughter is 3 years younger than me. She always treated her daughter better than me. Made me feel less pretty than her daughter but people always told me I am prettier.

That did not stop me from loving her daughter even though she kept trying to poison the girl’s mind towards me. The girl was a dullard: I used to coach her in math’s and English and help her write her examinations so she does not fail cos if she fails, her mother will beat me fir it.

I met my boyfriend in 300 level in University. We were so in love but when I got pregnant, I was so scared of what my Aunty would say that I went for an abortion. The abortion was badly done and I almost died. My womb was infected in the process. Surgery was done and my tubes had to be tied.

My boyfriend and I graduated and got good jobs and we got married. Our plan was to adopt a child since we both knew I may not be able to conceive after the abortion in school. My boyfriend vowed never to leave me even after he knew my condition.

God has blessed us and we are living in our house that we built and I have been able to bless my Aunty and sister too. I bought a car for my Aunty last year. I pay her rent and send her money every month.

My aunt's daughter said she wants to go abroad after she graduates and me and my husband promised to help her. She applied to US but she was denied. She then said she wanted to go to Canada. The money for Canada is so much, so I told her she has to wait a little cos we just spent money on her failed US visa.

Unknown to me, this girl started pestering my husband for the money and throwing herself at him s*xually. I guess men will always be men, he gave her the money without telling me. She did not even tell me she applied for Canadian visa. Only for her to tell my husband that she is pregnant.

My husband confessed to me 3 months ago and begged for my forgiveness. I know what my cousin is up to, she wants to take my husband from me…she and her mother…they have always been jealous of me even when all I have done is care for them. I cried and forgave my husband. I told him to allow my cousin have the baby but I will raise the baby as my own and she will have no place in my home….that was the condition.

My Aunty came to my home to fight me and told me to get out of my home since I cannot give birth for my husband…let her daughter move in since she is pregnant for him. My husband threw her out and warned them sternly to accept my conditions or do whatever they like with the pregnancy.

Now, my aunty wants to kill me. I dream a lot of bad dreams every night. I fell sick suddenly …I been treating myself yet not getting well. Everyone is saying my Aunty is behind the sickness. Her daughter uses her pregnancy as excuse to call my husband and I suspect my husband is still sleeping with her.

I feel like leaving the marriage cos my health is deteriorating. My husband cares for me but now that he knows he has a baby on the way, he is saying I will always be his wife but he has to look after his child too. My husband said we should also start the adoption process and he will love our adopted child same way he will love his biological child.

With all that is going on, do you think its a good idea to adopt still? What if hubby does not love my own adopted child same way he loves his biological child? I don't want to regret bringing a child into this kind of toxic environment. I am pained at how much I have suffered and have no one to care for me…no mother…no father…no family…my Aunty and her daughter have taken over my husband…

Maybe I should leave…travel abroad and go to get treatment before these people kill me. Some say, I should stay and fight for my marriage…if I leave, my Aunty and her daughter will take over but if I stay and die from this sickness…will they not still take over? Please advise me on what to do…

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

A Woman Is The Most Powerful Employee In My Husband’s Company - Am I Paranoid?

2021-11-12T06:47:00.000-08:00

Good day, I am a silent follower of Dateoma, please keep me anonymous. Today's story encouraged me to share my situation. I am not saying my case is bad but I just want to know what the house thinks cos its been something that has been bothering me for a while now.

My husband and I are married, two years now. He runs his own business while I work in an office. My husband’s secretary is also his HR manager. This lady is married but her husband is in South Africa. I have never met her husband but she seemed like a responsible woman. She gives me my respect, I have never had any reason to doubt her.

As one of the closest employee to my husband, my husband trusts her a lot. I don’t get into my husband’s business but she can call him most times of the day but not very late except there is an emergency sha. She is responsible for arranging my husband’s travel itenery, even she has handled my travel plans before. She is ok.

The only reason I am writing about her is this: I found out that anytime my husband upgrades any thing he gets for me, he will give her my old item. For example, when we were planning our wedding, my husband upgraded my iPhone. He took the old one and gave it to her.

Initially I didn’t think anything but when we got married, my husband upgraded my laptop and gave the lady my old one. I asked him why does he like giving her my old things, he said cos my things may be old but its still very valuable and he likes to reward his most valuable employee with things like that cos that keeps them loyal.

My husband believes in treating employees, especially the ones who are loyal as family. Then, the big one: I used to drive a 2015 Toyota Camry. That was my push president for giving birth to my first daughter in 2019. I gave birth to our son in March this year, so my husband got me 2020 Venza, very sweet car.

Do you know my husband wants to give my Camry to this lady? Its not like she does not have a car, the company already have her a Honda as her official car…now, just because he has upgraded my car, my husband wants to give her my first car which is still very clean cos its tear rubber.

I told my husband no and he was like, its not up for discussion…that I know he would do it. Now, is she the only loyal employee in the world? Is this how everyone treats their staff? why treat her the way you treat your wife? Once you upgrade your wife, you upgrade your secretary/HR manager?

Am I over reacting? Could there be something else going on here? And why is this woman’s husband living in SA and she is in Nigeria? They have 2 children, they go and visit their dad in SA during holidays but the man does not come to Nigeria…I do not feel comfortable with the unusual kindness my husband is giving this lady…especially the fact that the car he gave me, I did not even use it up to two years, just because he bought me another one, he wants to give it to her?

I told my husband to give the car to anyone else not that woman and he said I cant tell him what to do with his money…but the car is mine, should I not have a say who its to be given to at all? He said I am making a mountain out of nothing and his decision is final.

For peace sake, I have kept quiet but that has made my suspicions grow even much more. What can I do? Am I over reacting? Is this not strange the way my husband treats this woman? could there be more?

I am even afraid…what if there is more, what if ,,…ha…my heart will just collapse cos this woman is powerful in my husband’s business…maybe becoming more powerful in my marriage cos the accountant even told me that its the woman sometimes is even the one who suggest the gift my husband should buy for me….does she do that so she can always receive the same gifts passed to her later?

Like I said, she is powerful in the company as secretary and HR, other employees respect…almost fear her sef…she is my husband’s most trusted and loyal staff…he always says that…but is there more? should I be worried? please advice me…especially with the latest that he is giving her my brand new Camry car.

Please advice. Do you think something is going on between them or Am I just being paranoid?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

I Used To Think I Knew Everything About My Husband Until This Shocking Revelation

2021-11-12T06:46:00.001-08:00

Good day house, For some people, my issue may not be a big deal but for me, it is. I am in a complete state of shock and distrust for my husband right now. No, he did not cheat on me with a woman but he cheated on me by lying to me. My husband and I dated for two years before marriage. During courtship, we discussed everything from communication to s8x to children to finances to blood group to family ,etc.

One particular area we discussed also was finance and next of kin matters. My husband has a series of businesses while I work in an office. We agreed we will both keep our separate accounts when we got married but also keep a joint account for family projects. We got married about a year ago.

Now, soon as we got married, I changed on my next of kin documents from my mother to my husband. I expected my husband to do the same. For some reason, we were having a discussion about three months ago and I found out that my husband still has his elder brother as his next of kin.

As expected, I asked him why he has not changed it when he knows I have changed mine. He gave a flimsy excuse of not having time to do so. I then asked him to try and do so by month end. By month end, he didn't do it. I was not happy and told him he is not taking this serious.

The next thing he blurted out was: why am I so interested in being his next of kin? That he has received counsel from his lawyers and brothers that a wife should not be next of kin and that once we start having children, the children will be his next of kin. For me, the lack of trust from my husband…the ideology behind this thinking is making me feel somehow. I feel like he does not trust me and why should I trust him.

Yes, we have a joint account together but I realize I know nothing of his earnings yet I tell all about mine. He has no financial transparency with me. By God’s grace, we are expecting to have our children but I asked him what if we don’t have children, what happens to me? He says then our joint account should sustain me.

I don’t know how to explain this but this part of my husband makes me feel I never really knew him…that he could be influenced by his brothers who do not regard their own wives or that he could not trust me well enough with his finances is just heart-breaking. When I talk about it, he says its women who are expecting their husband to die or want to kill their husband that should be pushing to be next of kin.

I have left the matter but its affecting me seriously. I feel hurt and betrayed and its making me think, what else is this man hiding from me…if he cannot trust me or value me enough with his finances, what kind of love does he really have for me? I think our marriage was a mistake and maybe I should better pack up before babies start coming…this is not my idea of marriage.

I grew up in a loving marriage…my parents are married over 38 years. They never keep any secret from each other…not even finances. Even when my mother was carrying the home for over 15 years, my parents told each other what they got as income for many years. Even us their children, we knew that our mother was our dad’s next of kin. That is the kind of marriage I want…not the type I am experiencing and I am scared of what the future holds if I remain.

Please advise me…is this not a serious red flag from my husband or am I over reacting?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: guardian.ng

My Friend’s Husband Is Attracted To Me And Wants To Have A Threesome - Please Advice

2021-11-12T06:45:00.001-08:00

Please hide my details. I am praying to God to forgive me for what I have done. I need to try and do the right thing so I want advice from you and the house. I am a Nigerian but I live in Ghana. I shared an apartment with my friend, a Ghanaian for almost three years.

At the start of last year, my friend met someone online and they started dating. Eventually, they met up and before we knew it, the pandemic lock down came …this guy came to our apartment to quarantine with us. Initially, I was just being nice to him cos he is my friend’s guy and there was nowhere to go to anyway, everyone was indoors.

My friend was completely smitten by this guy; she did not really see who he truly was. Because, this guy was also flirting with me subtly. He would pinch my butt or boobs when my friend wasn’t watching. I confronted him several times but he told me he is just playing. I should relax.

And then, from playing, he would sneak into my room and try to fondle me. He begged me not to say anything, that he likes my friend a lot but he is attracted to my s8xy body. I don’t know why I did not tell him to get lost but I was kind of enjoying the hide and seek game with him.

When I realized it was getting very dangerous was when we started giving each other orals. I had t make an excuse to go stay at a friend’s place cos I could not handle the attraction anymore. I stayed there until the lock down was lifted. By this time, my friend and her guy announced that they were engaged. I was shocked. I wanted to tell her to be careful but she was so happy besides her last relationship almost killed her, I did not want to break her heart again.

That is how I minded my business and kept to myself. And then it was my friend’s birthday, she had a house party and her guy came. I did everything in my power to avoid being alone with him in same room al through. At some point, he caught me and introduced me to a friend of his. A very attractive guy. He introduced him and said, this is Sandra’s friend, the one I been telling you about.

This guy said he has heard so many nice things about me and would like to get to know me better. In my mind, I was wondering, did this fool tell his friend what he and I used to do behind my friend’s back? He must be a fool…but his friend was all over me and it looked like he wanted us to date.

After the birthday, he kept texting me, asking me out. I told Sandra…in fact Sandra was happy for me. That girl can be very stupid when it comes to love. She pressured me to date her guy’s friend. I eventually went on a date with him. I won’t lie, this guy was too smooth. I was literally losing my mind as he was talking to me.

I am single …and searching…this guy seemed to tick all my boxes and even more. I was beginning to lose my senses…he moved really fast seeing I was under his spell. So, we started dating. He gave me no breathing space either. Sandra my friend and her guy got married in February this year. I was her chief bride’s maid and my boyfriend, Sandra’s husband friend was his best man.

After marriage, Sandra moved to her husband’s house. Everything was cool. I was in a relationship with a very hot guy and I was happy. Well, until like two months later, my boyfriend invited me to spend the weekend at his place. I was excited. I knew it was going to be a lit weekend. I packed and went off to his place. And it was a very exciting time…no dull moment if you know what I mean.

Then came Saturday night, we were getting intimate and then my boyfriend started asking me questions about our s8x life. That he wants to spice it up. I was like, Me too…we can do fun stuff which he is always introducing every time. We use toys and stuff and try all kinds of adventure. That is how hot my relationship is and I love it.

However, this time, my boyfriend was talking about spicing up our s8x by bringing someone else, to have a threesome. I told him no…I have never done that before and its dangerous. He was like, I should try it for him…that he always fantasizes about it…I asked him if he has done it before, he said. So, I told him I could try it and if I don’t like it, I will stop. We agreed and had a deal.

Well, as the night progressed, we had some drinks and having fun when the doorbell rang and guess who came in? Sandra’s husband…this was around almost 11pm. I was confused, what was this guy doing here. And the more shocking thing happened. My boyfriend came in, in nothing, stark naked and say hey sweetheart, he has arrived. Me wondering…who has arrived…is he not seeing Sandra’s husband?

And these two men smiled and started kissing in front of me…like I was thinking I was going crazy…I was dreaming a bad dream…my boyfriend said…baby, James will be joining us tonight and we are going to have a lot of fun. My friend’s husband said he is so excited and has been waiting for this for so long.

James is Sandra's husband and he and my boyfriend are apparently lovers…as in…they are bi-s*xual men. And maybe it was the drinks that I had…I found myself having a threesome with Sandra's husband and his friend, who happens to be his lover. It was mad crazy. All night long. Drinking, doing drugs and wild s8x. The guys really had fun. I did but by the next day, when I became sober, I knew I had gone too far.

My boyfriend was telling me that James and him have been in love since and they both share lovers of the opposite s8x from time to time. That James is really attracted to me. They both loved sleeping with me. And that they will reward me handsomely for my participation. Just to get them off my back, I told them I would think about it.

Ma, I will not be taking their offer of course. However, I fear that these men might do something to me if I don’t tell Sandra. They seem like dangerous men as well. But I am also guilty of sleeping with Sandra’s husband. How do I warn my friend of the kind of man she is married to? How do I go about this? How do I free myself from these guys?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

My Decision To Remain In A Loveless Marriage Is Breaking My Heart

2021-11-12T06:44:00.003-08:00

To be honest, I don’t know why I am writing this but I feel like talking to someone to lift the burden off my chest. I am a married man but I am very unhappy. It all started like 8 years ago. I made decisions that I thought was for the best but it appears, that decision means I will be unhappy for the rest of my life.

Julia (not real name) and I met 10 years ago. The most beautiful two years of my life were spent with her. She is smart, beautiful, kind and very loving. From a very humble beginning, Julia changed my life. I knew I wanted to marry her, no doubt. She was the only daughter of her sick mother.

Julia’s mother had cancer and needed a lot of money for her chemotherapy and Julia was her primary care giver. Julia’s elder brother arranged for her to marry a rich man that would help them to take care of their mother’s financial bills. But when Julia met me, we fell in love and we tried to convince the brother and mother to allow us get married.

Julia’s mother and brother managed to convince Julia that marrying this man was their mother’s only hope. Well, Julia choose to marry this man and I was so heartbroken. Julia too was not happy as she stayed in touch even when she was married to the man. I felt helpless cos I could not help her. I only encouraged her to hold on and pray to God.

This man, Julia’s husband did not love her. He just wanted a child from her and Julia could not get pregnant and this was a big issue every day in their marriage. The man threatened to send her away after two years of marriage without a baby. A desperate Julia came to me crying and begging me to help her. Out of love for her, we made love and Julia got pregnant the very next month.

I was happy to make her happy cos I would do anything for Julia ad she would do the same for me. Along the line, a lady got pregnant for me and I had no choice but to get married. Reason being that, I do not want the child to be raised outside a marriage cos I was raised outside marriage and I don’t want that experience for my own kid.

Julia’s mother died three years ago and Julia began to feel trapped in her marriage and began to reach out to me. Much as I loved Julia, I knew I could not leave my marriage cos of the promise I made not to raise children out of wedlock. So, Julia and I meet secretly. Yes, we both know it’s wrong but we are both in love and married to the wrong people because of circumstances.

Unfortunately, my wife got to find out about me and Julia. Initially she was threatening to do all sorts but I explained to her what happened and promised to end the relationship with Julia. Two years, Julia left her marriage. She could no longer continue in a marriage where she was not interested in. She told her husband that their son is not his and the man after doing a DNA to confirm divorced Julia.

Julia wanted us to be together. She is begging me not to keep living apart from her but like I said, I want to stay married for my kid. But my heart is with Julia. It’s been two years since Julia’s divorce, she now wants to move on since it’s clear that I won’t leave my marriage. She wants to relocate to Canada with my kid. Julia says she will make sure I don’t see her or my son forever. I feel like my heart is so heavy right now. I don’t want her to go but I cannot give her hope and that makes me so very sad.

I truly wish things were different. My wife and my children did nothing to be in this situation so I feel like I have to sacrifice my happiness but every day I am filled with sadness and regret. I wonder if I can live with this decision for the rest of my life. I am 36 years old and I am living so unhappy. Sometimes I think it’s better to end my marriage now and be with Julia before I regret this when we are both a lot older.

I keep telling myself it’s the right decision I made…my wife is not even happy because she senses that I am not in love with her. Have I really made the right decision…wouldn’t you agree?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay

My Future In-laws Demand A Marriage Cleansing Ritual - Should I Agree?

2021-11-12T06:43:00.001-08:00

Good evening admin, I would like to remain anonymous. I was in a marriage that was done traditionally for 6 years. During the marriage, I suffered a lot of miscarriages and quarrels with my husband. Eventually his family convinced him to send me away. He even got someone else pregnant and they were ready to push me away from the house, I barely was able to run for my life.

I remained single for almost four years even though I got some relationships that they just wanted nothing but s*x….like no one wants to marry a divorcee…like its a stigma. Then a friend introduced me to a handsome man from from the middle belt.

I am from the East. Initially, I was sceptical cos I have never dated someone not from the east before. I did not know much about their culture and beliefs. But this man truly was exceptional. He treats me very kind, he is very thoughtful and generous. He does not mind that I have been married before or anything…he's just so special.

We dated for almost two years and he proposed marriage to me. I accepted and he took me to meet his people who welcomed me very well. My family did not really like the fact that he is also from outside our ethnicity but they would prefer me married than remain a divorcee for the rest of my life.

We have done introduction: the traditional and court wedding is supposed to be end of this month. All of a sudden, my fiancé grandmother calls to say that there is a marriage cleansing ritual that must be conducted for me if our marriage will be fruitful. That they have gone to seek prophesy about me, that my former husband people were the ones responsible for my miscarriages.

The prophesy which I later found out is like oracle has said that if I don’t do that cleansing, I will keep on having miscarriage in my new marriage. Well, my fiancé and I are Christians so I told him there is no way I can do such a cleansing ritual; to my surprise, my fiancé supported his grand mother and said its for our own good.

In shock, I asked him how he can be comfortable with doing traditional ritual when we are both Catholics and he said, its African tradition, not juju. That there is nothing wrong in consulting ancestors or using herbs to pray against evil people and back luck in life.

To be honest, I am confused: they have asked me to travel down to their village this weekend for the cleansing ritual. The grandmother is well known in their village, people come to her a lot to see visions and they say whatever she tells you must come to pass.

The grandmother advises people traditionally because she was trained seer but she also goes to church. This woman even have virgin Mary alter in her house but she still prays to ancestors. I am told I will wear white and the grand mother’s people will take me to the river before dawn and bathe me and wash away every evil that was following me before.

Ma, this sounds to me like juju or doing something fetish and I am very uncomfortable in doing it. How do I get away from this without offending my future in-laws? They have been so nice to me and I love them, I just never knew they believed in such? I am afraid of telling my parents because they will just end the marriage which is looking like it will even end if I refuse to engage in this ritual cleansing.

My friend told me that I should pray and fast and do it, that my man’s family must only mean well to want to cleanse any evil following me…that God will protect me. I have tried to talk to my man to see reason with me…we have never had any disagreement since we been dating, this is the first one and he is insisting that I should just humble myself and do this…that no one is thinking of hurting me…that its just tradition, not juju.

Please advise me…its this weekend and if I don't do it…my man says we cannot go on with the marriage because he does not want to enter into marriage if I do not trust him and his family. This is hard for me…what should I do please? Trust him and do the cleansing or end this marriage that is already supposed to hold at end of this month?

Submitted By Anonymous

Featured Image Source: Pixabay