What it’s really like to plan, fly, island-hop, and survive the Philippines in peak season—without a tour.

This post is for people considering the Philippines for the first time–especially parents traveling with kids, Filipino-Americans returning after a long gap, and anyone trying to plan independently without a comprehensive packaged tour.

Summary

Worth it? Absolutely. The Philippines is stunning, warm, and unforgettable.
Easy? No. Expect long travel days, flight juggling, and logistical friction.

Best parts:

• Coron & El Nido (Palawan)
• Funny Lion hotels
• Whale sharks + canyoneering in Cebu
• Bambike tour in Intramuros, Manila

Hardest parts:

• Expensive flights in December
• Cash access (ATMs often down)
• Rice terraces logistics/lodging
• Very early mornings for tours

What I’d do differently:

• Spend more time in Manila upfront
• Simplify Cebu logistics
• Skip or rethink the rice terraces unless you’re very motivated

Bottom line: Plan carefully, pack patience, bring extra cash—and go.

Franco (11.5 years old) and I (50.5 years old) went to the Philippines for Christmas from December 16-30, 2025. He wasn’t yet on school break and he missed the mandatory Christmas recital. I was also sad to miss some of our holiday traditions, but tried to pack in as much as possible before we left: Dickens Fair, Mormon Temple in Oakland, Christmas Tree Lane in Alameda, Glowfari at the Oakland Zoo. I’ve decided I don’t want to miss Christmas at home again, but I’m still incredibly glad we made this trip.

December is a really good time weather-wise to go to the Philippines. It’s also extremely expensive when booking flights. When I tell people we spent $4k for direct flights from SFO to Manila on Philippine Airlines, everyone asks if I booked first or business class. Ha! $4k for economy seats! 

My parents are from the Philippines. I had only been twice before. When I was 10 years old, I spent a month there with my mom and older sister. I went for a second time when I was in college on a medical mission (I was pre-med). During that time, I got to see Pope John Paul II in his pope-mobile. It feels a little sad, and honestly embarrassing, that I hadn’t been back in 30 years. But I have a lot of Filipino-American friends who are even worse! My sister hasn’t been since we were kids. 

I have been saying that I’ve wanted to go for several years and take Franco, then my dad got sick and passed away. I’ve wanted to go with family but there was too much hemming and hawing so I just decided I was going to treat this like any other country on top of my bucket list and book it! 

I’m a single mom with a lot on my plate. I would have gladly outsourced this to a travel agent. I couldn’t find anyone. Few travel agents specialize in the Philippines. You won’t find any all-encompassing tours or cruises to the Philippines.

So I did everything on my own. It was frustrating and painful, but I got the job done and everything worked out perfectly. There was only one mishap where I accidentally forgot to cancel a hotel reservation, but they didn’t seem to charge me even though it was supposed to be non-refundable. 

I spent a lot of time researching on Google, Tripadvisor, and Klook. This is what I ended up with, but it’s not ideal. I had to resort to this itinerary because flights started booking up and I had to take what I could get. So there’s actually more back and forths than I would have wanted. Would have been best to stay in Manila, spend time there, then do Cebu, end on Palawan, then return home. 

Air and Transfer

As I mentioned, our biggest expenses were flights. Direct, round-trip from SFO to Manila (MNL) on Philippine Airlines was $4k. United also flies direct from SFO. Non-direct carriers include Cathay Pacific, Japan Airlines, Korean Air, EVA Air, Singapore Airlines. We had five domestic flights totaling $1500. So we’re at a total of $5500 for flights alone.

I’m a fan of the Amex Platinum card ($895 fee) even though it’s so expensive. So nice to have a place to rest (Centurion Lounges and Priority Pass access), charge your devices, eat, and drink alcohol. I don’t even travel much, but when I do, lounge access is so appreciated.  

To get through immigration in the Philippines, you will need to register here either on their website or through the app. I never got it to work. Super frustrating. A lot of people mentioned having similar problems. As a last resort, as you deplane in Manila, there’s a QR code that you can scan to try and register. It finally worked for us, but as we made our way to customs, there was a small group of Filipino-American women who said it still wasn’t working for them. Not sure how they handled it, but luckily it finally worked for us. 

You are fast-tracked if you are a senior, disabled, pregnant or traveling with a child. I have no clue what the cut-off age is in the Philippines, but Franco was considered a minor and we had no trouble boarding quickly and getting through immigration. We joked at how in the U.S. you’re considered an adult at 3 years old. 

In Manila, use Grab (download the app) which is the equivalent of Uber/Lyft. Cheap, easy, everyone in Manila speaks English so it’s very easy to communicate and know where to go. 

If you are anywhere other than Manila, I’d ask the hotel for transportation. It’s such a relief to step off the plane, see your name on a placard, and have a nice, comfortable, air-conditioned ride to your hotel. Cost is approximately $30-65. 

Domestic flights can be booked via Cebu Pacific. AirSwift was acquired by Cebu Pacific so you’ll get an error trying to book on the AirSwift website or any other travel site that still shows AirSwift. A final note that if you only plan to take carry-on (like me), the domestic flights are strict on the weight requirement of 7kg. You should pack light because all the hotels will have laundry service. 

High-Level Itinerary and Hotels

Coron, Palawan (2 nights) – Funny Lion hotel. Funny Lion is a luxury chain with three hotels in Palawan (Coron, El Nido and Puerto Princesa). The one in Coron had 2 restaurants, 1 rooftop bar, 2 pools, breakfast buffet to-die-for. I could have sat at the breakfast buffet for days. Excellent, welcoming staff. 

El Nido, Palawan (3 nights) – Funny Lion hotel. 1 restaurant, 1 pool, buffet breakfast, gym, spa, private island. Kinda funny using a gym when it’s 80 degrees outside, but the gym had AC and everything you needed. We loved the Funny Lion chain so much we told the staff to please build hotels outside of Palawan. 

Manila (1 night) – Vrbo in Pasay City. We stayed at a family friend’s condo. It was perfect, cozy, clean, walking distance to the Mall of Asia. Also really nice to be able to leave our belongings there while we toured the rice terraces, then come back. 

Banaue (1 night) – Home stay via Vagabond Pinas tour. I can’t find where we stayed, but we had Christmas Eve dinner at Banaue Home Stay and the people were very warm and friendly. Our tour guide said that’s where their clients usually stay, but it was full, so we were at another home stay a few houses down. 

Batad (1 night) – Home stay via Vagabond Pinas tour. We stayed at Simon’s Viewpoint Inn and I would AVOID! I had no idea where we were staying since this was part of a package tour, but if I had known, I would have asked to go back to Banaue or try a better accommodation. I don’t know if all the lodging in Batad are bare bones (apparently there are about a dozen home stays), but this one had horribly spotty wifi that they charged extra for, communal bathrooms (no flushing toilets—which I believe is standard in Batad—but there was a hot shower), no outlets in our room, ok food. There was nothing to do after we hiked the rice terraces. I think we went to bed at 8pm! I almost cried at the conditions and was oddly comforted by the gecko hanging out on my bed. Poor Franco felt sorry for me and kept saying it was fine, but I am not used to sub-standard accommodations especially when I had paid $1170 for a 2 night tour of the rice terraces. 

Manila (2 nights) – Vrbo in Pasay City

Moalboal, Cebu (2 nights) – Turtle Bay resort. There’s got to be a better way to streamline the Cebu portion of our trip. It took 3 hours from the airport to get to Moalboal, but I felt like this got us closer to the whale shark experience. The Turtle Bay resort was pleasant. There’s a restaurant (decent, not great) and pool. There’s also a spa and dive center, so you’re able to kayak and snorkel from their dock. The water is unbelievably clear. 

Recommended Itinerary

After doing the above, I would probably adjust to the following:

• Manila (4 nights)
• Cebu (3 nights)
• Coron (2 nights)
• El Nido (3 nights)

Apps / Resources

• Google Maps – for navigation
• Currency app – for conversion
• Grab – for rides
• e-Travel for immigration into the Philippines 
• CPB MPC – for smooth re-entry back into the U.S. and zipping through customs
• Bring plenty of Philippine pesos. I brought $200 which wasn’t enough. Took out another $100 while in the Philippines which wasn’t enough. And had to withdraw an additional $200 to complete the trip. 
• Cellular – turn on international roaming, but whenever possible use wifi. My provider Consumer Cellular quoted me $18/gigabyte and said it’s very expensive in the Philippines, compared to cents in Japan. 

Coron, Palawan

This is a lot of travel and not recommended, but we flew direct from SFO to MNL, then flew again to Palawan. As I mentioned above, I would spend time in Manila before anywhere else in the Philippines but there were very few flights going to Palawan during the holidays (I think we might have snagged the last seats) and this is what was left. 

There’s a nightly 10:30pm flight from SFO to MNL, arriving at 5:35am local time. Then we took another Philippine Airlines flight from MNL to Coron (Busuanga airport) at 11:05am. We could have easily taken an earlier flight, but I had no idea how long it would take to clear customs and get to another terminal. We were fast-tracked because Franco’s a minor, but regardless, it didn’t take long and it was easy to catch the free shuttle to the next terminal. 

In Coron, a driver from the Funny Lion hotel picked us up. Probably a 20 minute drive from the airport to the hotel. Quick, scenic drive. 

I hadn’t booked any tours and I was told it was best to book after arrival due to the unpredictability of the weather. We booked all day tour A for the following day. We unpacked, swam in the pool, walked to town and back, had happy hour at the hotel, then took a tuktuk to town for dinner. I can’t find where we ate. It got great reviews on Tripadvisor, but wasn’t good. Neither of us finished our food. 

Fact: breakfast buffets at luxury hotels in tropical destinations cannot be beat: fresh fruit, juices, cooked to order eggs and omelets, bacon, sausage, seafood, bread, pastries, a cauldron of hot chocolate. 

After filling up our tummies, we were picked up for our group tour. The van was completely full. Someone needed to get money at an ATM and had trouble withdrawing. Everyone got impatient. I later learned how hard it is to get cash because the ATMs are consistently down. Once we finally got to the dock, it was complete chaos. Different tour operators, a million tour guides, different tours/routes. Chaos – be prepared! 

Tour A

• Kayangan Lake
• Reef Garden
• Sunset Beach
• Las Islas De Coral
• CYC Beach
• Green Lagoon

Once we finally got on our boat, it was smooth sailing. Beautiful, stunning, verdant green water. Toward the end of the day, Franco said he lost the mouthpiece of his snorkel. The tour guides ask where. Franco points in some loosy-goosy direction and these guides–who are expert divers–find it. I was so impressed, I could not believe it. I had been counting up my cash hoping we had enough money to pay for the loss. 

Since we didn’t enjoy our dinner in town, we decided to stay at our hotel and had an enjoyable meal and relaxing night before departing the next day. 

El Nido, Palawan

Due to rain, our flight from Coron to El Nido was delayed, but not too bad. However, when we landed, our driver said that his previous pickup was seriously delayed because the pilot had circled six times before finally landing. 

We got to the Funny Lion hotel and booked the all day tour A for the following day. 

Tour A – P1200.00 per pax

• 7 Commando
• Big Lagoon
• Secret Lagoon
• Payong Payong Island
• Simisu Island

El Nido is much more developed than Coron. There are more hotels, restaurants, people, nightlife, just more to do and see. If I had to choose, I would pick El Nido over Coron and that made Franco upset! He said he likes them both. 

We spent our second day in El Nido at Funny Lion’s private island, Papaya Beach. There’s a concession stand to buy chips and drinks, otherwise have the restaurant pack you a meal. 

I don’t know how they do it since the hotel seems to be at full capacity, but the staff knows your name. Every time we walked by the front desk: “Hello Ms. Catherine and Franco.” What are they doing–taking notes, polaroids?

Hanging out in El Nido made me want to go back with a bunch of friends and party (eat, drink, dance, karaoke). I guess you can do that in Manila too. 

Metro Manila

Despite being Filipino, I didn’t realize Metro Manila is actually 16 cities, including: 

• Manila – The capital city of the Philippines.
• Quezon City – The most populous city in Metro Manila and a major center of government and business.
• Makati – The main financial and business district of the country.
• Pasay – A major transportation and entertainment hub, where the international airport is located.
• Taguig – Home to Bonifacio Global City, a major business and lifestyle district.

We stayed at a family friend’s condo in Pasay. Easy to get from the airport to anywhere in metro Manila via the Grab app. We were within walking distance to the Mall of Asia (MOA) and spent a lot of time there walking around and eating. 

We did this incredible bambike tour of Intramuros, a major historical and cultural district of Manila. Our tour guide Ange was funny and knowledgeable, always asking if we had any questions or reactions, and offering to take pictures. Franco and I have a tradition of doing bike tours whenever we travel. Great way to stay active and see the sites. 

After our bike tour, my mom (who is also in the Philippines on vacation) and relatives met up with us for lunch at nearby Barbara’s Heritage Restaurant. It’s a yummy buffet with cultural performances. People, including my mom, got called up to recognize their birthdays and we took pictures with the dancers. 

Banaue / Batad (rice terraces)

The rice terraces and the farmers are core to the country’s culture and history. I believed that this would be the highlight of the trip. This may be controversial, but for us, if I had to skip one part of the trip, this would be it. The travel is significant. The tour we took was way overpriced given our very minimal lodging. So many other travelers–given the reviews I read–would disagree with me. Maybe there is a better way. 

I booked the rice terraces tour through Vagabond Pinas. The owner JP is extremely responsive and helpful. It takes at least 9 hours to get to Banaue from Manila. It’s very long, but a comfortable ride in an air-conditioned van. We stayed overnight in Banaue, woke up the next day for breakfast, then took a jeepney to Batad. We spent all day hiking the rice terraces. The elevation is intense. I am in phenomenal shape (just coming off of a 5K PR) and was drenched in sweat. I was in disbelief. How do other tourists do this trek? The tour guides said they just go much slower and take more time. 

We got to see all the stages of how rice is made and harvested. It was really fascinating, especially how everything is done manually. It’s very labor intensive. No machinery. The rice is organic. 

We spent the night in the rice terraces, but our home stay was abysmal. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so disappointed if we hadn’t paid $1170 for the 2 night tour. Ask for a discount, better lodging, or go back for a 2nd night in Banaue. 

Cebu

Our last destination in the Philippines was Cebu to see the whale sharks. We woke up at 3:45am for a 4am pickup from our hotel in Moalboal to drive to Oslob (whale shark territory). I thought I was getting us closer to Oslob by choosing a hotel in Moalboal, but it seems like wherever you are in Cebu, the pickup is still going to be at an ungodly hour! I booked this tour. I believe this is the main tour operator in Cebu with a gazillion tours, tour guides, drivers and partnerships. 

The driver will drop you off in Oslob where a tour guide (I can’t remember her name, but she was fantastic) will take over and wait in line with you while you get a number. There are mobs of tourists in line. It was the most crowded of any experience we had done. We registered and got #224. Our tour guide said they stop service at around 500. After you get your number, you get safety instructions (mandatory life jacket, do not touch the whale sharks, wash off your sunscreen…). The operation was licensed, tightly managed, and we followed all rules around distance and interaction. Then we went to breakfast at a nearby hotel while we waited for our number to be called. All the tour guides communicate via cell and they’re constantly checking to see what numbers are being called. After breakfast, we went to a waterfall. By the time we returned two hours later, they were calling 200s. 

Once your number is called, you get fitted with a life jacket and the tour guide holds all the rest of your belongings. You have the option of renting a GoPro (I highly recommend) and someone manning the boat essentially becomes your deep sea photographer and takes really great shots and videos of you that you don’t even know are happening until afterwards when you transfer everything to your phone. It was a 30 minute experience and the highlight of our trip. Honestly, I thought the whale sharks were smaller than I expected. I kept wondering whether it was going to be worth waking up so unbelievably early. Franco said yes yes, he would have woken up even earlier to see the whale sharks. He was so happy to swim with them. 

By this point, I had run out of cash and we went to 3 out-of-service ATMs before finding a 4th one that worked and dispensed cash. 

After lunch, we got transitioned to two tour guides for our canyoneering experience which I felt was almost as good as seeing the whale sharks. The canyoneering is several hours of ziplining, hiking and swimming. One of our guides took my phone out of the waterproof cover and took the best photos/videos. I was worried the phone would get wet, but he was like..don’t worry. I’ve got it. We would be swimming in deep water and he’d have my phone raised in his right hand. I was stunned at his agility and balance. 

It was a beautiful, exhilarating, exhausting day from 3:45am-6pm. 

Our final day in the Philippines was a long travel day. Our driver zipped us from Moalboal to Cebu airport in three hours. The flight from Cebu to MNL was an hour. I don’t know why, but we had trouble locating the free shuttle to take us from the domestic to the international terminal. Several people told us different things and pointed in opposite directions. Just know that there’s a free shuttle bus outside that circles around between the terminals. You do not need to pay for a taxi. 

We had several hours to kill before our 11:10pm flight to SFO. Luckily I have the Amex Priority Pass and Franco and I went to two different lounges to eat and drink. It was great! 

Traveling through the Philippines requires patience and flexibility, but the rewards are absolutely unreal. It was one of the best trips and countries I have visited. What did I miss? Let me know if you have any questions I can answer. 

This post The Philippines, Unfiltered: A Christmas Trip With My 11-Year-Old appeared first on Catherine Gacad.

I wanted to share my thoughts on the conclave and the election of the new pope as a devout Catholic. The death of one pope and the transition to another is historic and does not happen often. It’s more exciting than the playoffs, world series or superbowl.

First a little bit about my religious background. My parents are Filipino. The Philippines is 80% Catholic. When they retired from work, my parents started going to church every day for mass. They’re active parishioners. My dad wanted to be a priest. My sister considered becoming a nun. I went to Catholic school from 1st grade through senior year of high school. I regularly go to Sunday mass. My nephew Benicio is named after Pope Benedict. My son Franco is named after Pope Francis. Franco goes to Catholic school.

In my life, I’ve known Pope John Paul II who I saw when I was vacationing in the Philippines in 1995. I watched him as he passed by in his pope-mobile. It was electric and I was in complete awe. Pope John Paul II was revered and known as the most-traveled pope. He spoke eight languages fluently and was conversational in a handful of others.

He was succeeded by Pope Benedict whose tenure was less than eight years. He is notable for his historical resignation.

I distinctly remember when Pope Francis was elected in 2013 and in a group text we called out my friend Jen because her dad is Argentinian. It’s so exciting to be able to claim some type of association with the pope–like the Chicagoans whooping it up for the new Pope. I remember Pope Francis being super humble (he asked the crowd to pray for him), and that humility played out throughout his tenure.

An American pope was not on anyone’s bingo card. It’s fair to say that the citizens of the world have a major disdain for Americans. They don’t like our leadership, our power, our greed, our brashness. We are unworldly and uncouth. Also, not many Americans are Catholic, let alone believe in God. Americans tend to be secular, atheist, and/or spiritual. Nothing wrong with this, but Catholic leadership ain’t going to pick someone who hails from a country of non-believers. It was such a long shot.

That said, from what I understand, every Pope chosen seems to have been a surprise pick. You never know what these religious dudes are going to do! I was rooting for Cardinal Tagle not because he was from the Philippines, but because he was considered the Asian Pope Francis, meaning he was for the people. My mother-in-law said, “Wouldn’t it be nice to have an American Pope?” My kiddo Franco responded, “If his values are aligned with my values, then yes. But if not, then no.”

Given recent history, we would expect white smoke after 2-3 days, but because there were so many new cardinals, I was expecting it would take longer. True to form, Cardinal Robert Prevost from the U.S. was chosen on the 2nd day of the conclave. White smoke appeared. Bells rang out. The crowd cheered. There’s about an hour wait until the pope’s identity is announced and he gives his address, and a frantic flurry of research. Who is this guy? Here are the basics.

Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost (Pope Leo XIV) was born in Chicago and comes from Italian, French, Haitian, Creole roots. He majored in Math at Villanova and thereafter earned several religious degrees. He did missionary work in Peru for 14 years. He only became a cardinal in 2023, but was promoted by Pope Francis to oversee the election of bishops and was said to be close to Pope Francis.

In his address, Pope Leo said,

“Let us keep in our ears the weak but always brave voice of Pope Francis, who blessed Rome-the Pope who blessed Rome and the world that day on the morning of Easter. Allow me to continue that same blessing. God loves us, all of us; evil will not prevail. We are all in the hands of God. Without fear, united, hand in hand with God and among ourselves, we will go forward. We are disciples of Christ, Christ goes before us, and the world needs His light. Humanity needs Him like a bridge to reach God and His love. You help us to build bridges with dialogue and encounter so we can all be one people always in peace. Thank you, Pope Francis!”

Pope Leo’s address is notable as he did not speak in his native tongue, instead choosing to start in Italian, then Spanish. More notably, he did not give a shout out to the Chicago Cubs or deep dish pizza. Instead, he warmly called out his diocese in Peru. Nothing in his address indicated that he’s American. Again, I don’t think he’s doing this selfishly, but he is positioning himself (and also considers himself) as a messenger of God who is trying to serve all the faithful. He is fluent in English, Spanish, Italian, French, and Portuguese, and can read Latin and German.

Cardinals choose their papal name and in this case Cardinal Prevost chose to be called Pope Leo XIV. Leo is a very traditional name, obviously it’s been chosen 14 times. It’s significant because Pope Leo XIII was known for social justice. Pope Leo XIV signals his commitment to tradition, social justice and also Pope Francis’s legacy.

Because I’m a devout Catholic doesn’t mean I revere every pope–just like we don’t revere every president. People are human and sometimes we like them and sometimes we don’t. Pope Francis was beloved. He was kind, generous, and down-to-earth. He shunned the papal palace and lived practically in a dorm with the Vatican staff. That guy was all love, humble to the core.

Catholicism means universal. We are the universal religion. We are welcoming. We are open. We do not believe we are superior to other religions. We believe if you live a good life and follow in the footsteps of Jesus that you will have everlasting life. The problem with religion is when you start interpreting scripture and saying that it’s a sin to be gay or get a divorce or have an abortion.

I am a devout Catholic and I myself am divorced. I’m pro-choice and a supporter of LGBTQ rights.

To me, Catholicism is love. People laugh or roll their eyes when I say that. I’m not here to convert anyone or proselytize, but I’d encourage you to listen to one of the homilies from my favorite priests. I swear to God, every homily is about being a better person, walking in faith, loving yourself and those around you. If Catholicism doesn’t mean love to you and instead it’s about doctrine and Bible passages and following strict rules, you’re going to the wrong church; or you’re being preached to by the wrong priest!

I am proud to be Catholic. This is a historic time and I could not be more excited and hopeful for the leadership and direction of the Catholic Church. Amen! Hallelujah!

This post Habemus Papam appeared first on Catherine Gacad.

I was inspired by Alexandra Kostoulas, founder of the San Francisco Creative Writing Institute to start writing again and thought, why not return to my blog. Hello blog, it’s been a while. 

I could talk politics or religion or parenting or dating, but thought I’d start by writing about my recent trip to Japan. I am still grieving my dad who passed away in November and Japan has special meaning for me because my dad was stationed in Okinawa while serving in the Navy. Embarking on this trip was a way for me to honor his service to our country and how much I treasured our adventures together.

Upon return, I had a Zoom sync with my friend Mike who said, “You are the embodiment of genki!” Genki is a Japanese word that means lively, full of spirit, energetic, vigorous, vital, spirited, healthy, fit, the basic energy of the universe that flows through everything. Quite flattering given I was still suffering from jetlag! I guess the Japanese ethos rubbed off on me. 

Franco (10 years old now!) and I went to Japan for an extended Spring Break. I took him out of school for a week, then he had the following Easter week off. We spent Easter Sunday on a bike tour in Kyoto and Easter Monday learning that Pope Francis had passed away. 

Before I get into the travel logistics, let me share my overall impressions of the country, its people and the culture. Japan is very safe. Last year Franco and I traveled to Iceland for Spring Break and Iceland is considered the safest country in the world. Despite how populated it is, Japan felt just as safe. The people are polite, respectful, quiet and even their language is melodic. In many ways, Japan is the opposite of America. The Japanese take a lot of pride in what they do and how they carry and conduct themselves. They’re so civilized! They’re not angry or irritable or in a rush. They’re calm, thoughtful, and level-headed. What stood out most is how intentional they are. Maybe this has to do with their religion (Shintoism or Buddhism), but they are focused on the present moment. It’s a beautiful way to live–and beautiful as a tourist to not just witness, but also be immersed in this intentionality for 10 days. 

One big example of intentionality is that you are not to eat or drink while walking. There are signs in markets that prohibit this. If you buy food from a stall, you stand and eat in front of the stall, and only move on when you’re done. People are not walking around with Starbucks coffee in hand. This takes getting used to. 

Japan is hyper-efficient. Shit runs like clockwork. The Japanese are also rule-followers. Because I’m an obnoxious American, I would jay-walk and cross even at a red light. Why not? No cars! But the Japanese would wait patiently until there’s a green light. They’re completely law-abiding.

There are no public garbage receptacles which also takes getting used to as an American. This is primarily because of the 1995 sarin gas attacks on the Tokyo subway. I came prepared with small plastic bags in my purse to carry any garbage back to our hotel. But for the first few days, I must have told Franco at least 10 times to stop looking for a garbage can. 

Typically when I travel, I am used to locals thinking I am one of them (Mexico, Indonesia, Brazil); sadly, I did not get that treatment in Japan. I’m too dark! Franco, however, looks half Japanese and he was very consistent with his bowing and Japanese greetings. I should ship this kid off to a Japanese boarding school. 

I know many people who have traveled to Japan and know just as many who will soon go. It completely lived up to the hype. My friend Joe went with his partner, then returned to Japan solo two months later. I laughed when he told me this, but left Japan truly wanting to return again soon! Japan is a great place to take your family, but it should also be high on the list for bachelor/ette parties or an adult getaway with friends. There is so much to see and do! Golden Gai is an area within Shinjuku, Tokyo consisting of over 200 bars cramped into a few narrow alleyways. Franco and I walked all around and peeked into these tiny bars with only a handful of bar stools for seating. The temptation was so strong to pop into one and have a drink, but I couldn’t do that with my kiddo. Golden Gai has been recreated at Burning Man as Golden Guy and it’s well done. If you can’t get to Tokyo, get to the Burn! 

Japan is a cash-based society. As someone who works in payments, I find this very odd. When we went to Iceland, we did not bring any cash–it wasn’t necessary. I used my credit card everywhere. Not possible in Japan! You can use your credit card at Starbucks, department stores, convenience stores (Lawson, FamilyMart, 7-Eleven), your hotel and some restaurants, but you are going to need cash for everything else (markets, the train station, buses, bakeries/cafes, temples and shrines). 

I will say this until I die, but if you want to maintain your mental acuity, plan international travel and navigate the local public transportation on your own. Organizing a trip like this takes a lot of agility, research, patience and resourcefulness. I can see why people love to go on cruises. So much easier! 

Japan travel logistics are detailed below. 

Air and Transfer

Our biggest expenses were the flights and hotels. Once you’re there, everything is cheap. We flew direct from San Francisco (SFO) to Haneda Tokyo (HND) on Japan Airlines. I had debated flying Zip which is the low-cost carrier owned by Japan Air, but was turned off by several bad reviews. That said, a lot of people have flown Zip with no issues. Ideally, you could fly first class on Zip, but that was sold out by the time I booked. Japan Air was $500 more for both me and Franco and I figured it was worth it. The service was great and the food was great too. 

I would absolutely book an airport transfer from the Tokyo airport to your first hotel. You can do this on Klook. You will be assigned a driver who will communicate with you via WhatsApp. He will have a placard with your name on it. Ours also took a photo of exactly where he was standing. You will be seamlessly shuttled from the airport to your hotel. It’s worth the expense. 

High-Level Itinerary and Hotels

• Tokyo (3 nights) – APA Shinjuku Gyoemmae hotel – APA is a popular chain, cheap, and mobbed with tourists. The room was clean and tiny, but that’s to be expected. I really liked that there was an onsen (spa and hot tubs) in the basement. I was there every night! 3 blocks away from the nearest train station, 10 minute walk to Shinjuku station. 
• Hakone (1 night) – Mount View Hakone ryokan – I imagine all of the Hakone ryokans (traditional Japanese hotels) are wonderful. That said, we really loved our stay at Mount View. Our meals (dinner and breakfast) were some of the best meals we had in Japan and there were multiple onsens at our ryokan that we took advantage of. 
• Kyoto (3 nights) – Miru Kyoto Nishiki hotel – This was my favorite hotel of our trip. It was a sleek boutique hotel a few blocks away from the popular Nishiki market. Fewer than 25 rooms. Rooms were decent sized with luxe bath amenities. Every morning freshly baked croissants are waiting for you. Free communal laundry. Perfect location. 
• Tokyo (2 nights) – KOKO Residence Asakusa – We were upgraded to what seemed like a penthouse suite: separate bedroom (2 beds), living room, dining room, in-room washer/dryer. 2 blocks away from the nearest train station. 

After doing the above, I would probably adjust our itinerary to the following:

• Tokyo (3 nights)
• Hakone (2 nights)
• Kyoto (3 nights)
• Tokyo (1 night before flight home)

I’m not a fan of being somewhere for only one night and everyone had said that one night in Hakone was sufficient, but I disagree. There was so much more we wanted to do. I’ll get to that later. 

Apps / Resources

]After booking your flights and lodging, here are the apps you will need:

• Google Maps – critical for navigation
• Google Translate – critical for reading signs (use the camera) and communicating. English is limited in Japan and it’s common to resort to showing your device and vice versa. 
• Currency – for conversion
• Klook – to book local tours and airport transfer
• smartEX – to book the Shinkansen bullet train
• Uber – for rides
• Japan Web for immigration into Japan 
• CPB MPC – for smooth re-entry back into the U.S. and zipping through customs
• Always bring a portable charger with you. Don’t think you’ll be fine for the day. You will absolutely need to recharge. 

Tokyo and Train Navigation

• Shinjuku area
• Shinjuku train station
• Shibuya Crossing
• Tsukiji market
• Nakameguro
• Mori Art museum
• Takeshita street
• Mipig cafe
• Meiji Jingu shrine
• Imperial Garden
• Sensoji temple
• Skytree
• Odaiba
• Bay Cruise
• Ueno Park
• National Museum of Nature and Science
• National Museum of Western Art
• Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building Observation Deck
• Hie shrine
• Omoide Yokocho
• Golden Gai

Franco and I both slept on the flight and had no problem unpacking, walking around, getting dinner, going to bed and waking up ready to go the following day. We did a lot of wandering around, but Google Maps is a good resource for finding nearby sites and restaurants with excellent reviews. 

Our first three nights were in Shinjuku, Tokyo which is like the Times Square of Asia. I think it’s a great location, lots of buzz, lots of restaurants and everything you need right outside your hotel. 

We started our first full day in Tokyo heading to the Shinjuku station to get our Suica cards and navigate the train system. A Suica card is your train pass (similar to the Bay Area’s Clipper card) and you can get this online and use your device. The problem is everyone needs their own device so I could only have my Suica card on my device and could not also include Franco. Franco does not have his own cell phone. Personally, I also like having a physical card. Here’s a tip: if you have kids, bring their passports for a discounted Suica card. I did not bring Franco’s passport with me to the train station and was unable to get him a child Suica card. So I ended up getting two adult Suica cards for the two of us. You load each of them with a set amount of money. 

Tokyo is the busiest city in the world. The Shinjuku station is the busiest train station in the world. This is where we tried to figure it all out and were immensely frustrated. People are rushing by and it’s hard to ask anyone for help. We stopped a group of friendly women who told us that even though they were Japanese they weren’t from Tokyo and they were also lost! Haha. It’s not just us Americans! 

Here are some tips. You are going to rely heavily on Google Maps for navigation. Hone in on the train line. For example, M is the Marunouchi Line and it is color coded. Follow the signs for the M line. Google Maps will tell you how far on the line you need to go. For example, you need to go from M10 to M7. There should be signage that will tell you whether the upcoming trains are going up or down, but Google Maps will also tell you exactly which platform to board from. All of the platforms are labeled.

One of our tour guides said that Shinjuku station has over 200 exits. Don’t bother trying to get to a certain exit. Just find any exit and get out. 

After gaining a few wrinkles from the public transportation debacle, we made our way to Shibuya crossing. There’s a Starbucks in one of the buildings and you can make your way to the 2nd floor and take pictures of the crossing. 

We were quite proud of ourselves navigating next to the Tsujiki Market which Franco absolutely loved. We stood in line for this sugary omelet which I didn’t really understand what all the hubbub was about. The wagyu beef was solid. I don’t quite understand Japan’s obsession with assaulting their strawberries with sugar. Candied strawberries are a thing and I think it’s absolutely gross. 

Barely any cherry blossoms during the time we went, but there were some trees blooming and we managed to take some photos. The great thing about going in the spring (we’ve been told) is that the weather was perfect, while in the summer it’s hot as hell. 

We walked around the Nakameguro neighborhood which was lovely. We went to the Mori Art museum, but I would skip it. Takeshita street is bustling. 

In general, I’m not a fan of the animal cafes of which there are many. It’s inappropriate for wild animals to be confined to small spaces. Even for domesticated animals, there are issues. We went to a dog cafe and half the dogs were fucked up (some were wearing diapers, one french bulldog couldn’t stand up straight). I felt awful spending money there, but Franco (who loves animals) really wanted to go. The Mipig cafe seemed different. The pigs looked like they were well attended to and cared for. And Franco will tell you it was one of the highlights of the trip for him.

The next day we took this popular all day Tokyo bus tour and it was fantastic. 

Our tour guide was half-Filipino, half-Japanese and she was amazing: informative, humorous, spoke 3 languages. She could answer every question and added lots of detail and background. I highly recommend the tour. It covered all the major spots. Something we learned: shrines are for the Shinto religion, while temples are for Buddhism. 

We spent the rest of our time in Tokyo (including the latter part of our trip) visiting museums, other sites and quaint streets. A lot of museums are concentrated around Ueno Park. We visited the National Museum of Nature and Science which was nice, and the National Museum of Western Art which was surprisingly amazing. Some of the artists represented were Rodin, Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir, Pollock, Miro. I felt like I was at the Chicago Art Institute. Such an impressive collection. 

Hakone

• Hakone-Tozan train to Gora
• Hakone Open-Air Museum
• Hakone Ropeway
• Owakudani volcanic valley
• Lake Ashi
• Pirate Ship
• Hakone Shrine

Franco and I have a tradition of going to a national park annually. This started after Dean and I got divorced, and I wanted to create special memories to ameliorate the pain of our changing family dynamic. We started by going to Yosemite several years in a row, then Death Valley with my parents. We got adventurous with multiple national parks in Iceland. For this trip, it was Fuji-Hakone-Izu National Park, with Hakone sitting within this larger national park. 

We took a shinkansen from Tokyo to Hakone. I think of Hakone as the Calistoga of Japan; it’s known for its hot springs and views of Mount Fuji which we couldn’t see because it was cloudy. Like I said previously, I think Hakone deserves 2 nights. Most people make it a day trip and do a loop which consists of a train, cable car, ropeway, bus, and pirate cruise to see the main sites. Outside of the loop, we went to the Hakone Open Air Museum which reminded me of Burning Man with all its art installations. There was a building dedicated to Picasso and his work. We were there for two hours and could have stayed longer. There are other museums in Hakone we missed because we didn’t have time. Plus Hakone is serviced by a bus system and each site takes time to get to. I wish we had more time, but we definitely packed it all in. It is deserving of more than just a day trip.

Kyoto

• Nishiki market
• Kitano Tenmangu shrine
• Golden Pavilion (Kinkaku-ji)
• Tenryu-ji temple
• Arashiyama Bamboo Forest
• Iwatayama Monkey Park 
• St. Francis Xavier catholic church
• Hokan-ji temple
• Kosho-ji temple
• Higashiyama district
• Gion district
• Pontocho Alley
• Ninenzaka

Next up: Shinkansen to Kyoto. I fell in love with Kyoto. It’s Japan’s original capital city and it’s so charming and damn cute. Both Franco and I kept saying we could live in Japan and if I had to choose, I’d live in Kyoto. Every street is magical. Navigating Kyoto is a little different because you will use a combination of trains and buses to get around. 

The day after we arrived, we did an all day bike tour. Our tour guide wasn’t that great. He gave us pretty basic information. But otherwise, Franco and I are big fans of bike tours. We make a point of doing them wherever we go. 

We weren’t able to start our bike tour on time because we were waiting for a family of 5 from England. They were 30 minutes late. When they finally arrived, the mom bowed to each of us and apologized profusely, “I am so sorry. I am so very sorry. It’s all my fault. I couldn’t find my train ticket and almost lost my mind. Please we will make it up to you. We’ll get you ice cream and beer. My apologies.” I told Franco it was really good for him to see that because she handled the situation perfectly. 

At this point, I’m going to be honest, I was completely out-shrined and out-templed. Even as a devout Catholic, once I’ve seen a couple churches, I’m done. We weren’t able to make it to Easter mass because we were on our bike tour, but the following day when Pope Francis died, I googled nearby St. Francis Xavier catholic church and stopped in to pray. By the time we got to Kyoto, we had already seen several temples and shrines in Tokyo. I really could not take many more and my attention span dropped. 

The best part of the bike tour was the Arashiyama Bamboo Forest. We went back the following day via bus/train to the Iwatayama Monkey Park. Remember Franco loves animals. This was another highlight of the trip. Snow monkeys right in front of you. The hike up to the monkey park was also beautiful. 

I think the best part of Kyoto was just wandering, no agenda. There are some really cute streets and districts which are listed above. 

Osaka

What’s missing from our itinerary is Osaka. There’s a debate between Osaka vs Kyoto, and of course you should do both if you can. I’m the type of traveler who prefers to pick fewer locations and spend more time in each vs trying to do it all. I can’t speak for what we missed out on, but I’m so glad we chose Kyoto–and as I said, Kyoto is probably my favorite of all the places we went. 

Packing

Franco and I packed extremely light–only enough clothing for three days. I was told that laundry was easily accessible and that was true. Every hotel has laundry. In the U.S., I had gotten the flu and most recently was coming off of a cold. I did pack a bunch of flu/cold medicine, but that is unnecessary. There are plenty of pharmacies for whatever you need. Also, you don’t need to bring adapters. Our chargers plug into their outlets just fine. I purchased a Japan journal for Franco so that he could document the trip and get his book stamped. There are stamps at all the train stations, museums and major sites, and it’s cute to watch kids stamp the pages of their journals. 

Luggage delivery through Yamato is a convenience you can take advantage of. Your hotel can help you fill out the paperwork to have luggage delivered the following day to your next hotel. We tried this once and did a happy dance to see our luggage efficiently transported to our next hotel room. But we’ve also lugged our luggage up and down the stairs of Shinjuku station and stowed it above our heads on the Shinkansen train–totally fine!  

Drinks

I have been drinking Starbucks hot chocolate for breakfast since I started working full-time in my twenties. Starbucks locations are plentiful in Japan, but my preference is always to choose local. I had a hard time finding coffee shops close to our hotels. No problem finding bakeries, but the bakeries don’t sell drinks. Also restaurants don’t automatically pour water. You need to request it. The water is safe to drink and I read that it goes through a double purification process. My alcohol of choice is Chardonnay (because red wine gives me headaches). If a restaurant serves wine, it’s listed as red or white. I had to break out Google Translate to ask to see the bottle or if they carried Chardonnay. 

Miscellaneous Travel Details

• You can easily take a taxi or Uber from your hotel to the airport to go back home. No need to book a private driver like we did entering Japan. 
• Call your cellular service provider and turn on international roaming.
• When using your credit card, choose to pay in yen vs dollars. 
• No need to tip in Japan.
• Jet lag from Asia back home to San Francisco is no joke! It really does take about a week to adjust. 

What else can I help with? Would love to hear any questions. And who’s coming back with me to Japan?!

This post An Epic Journey through Japan appeared first on Catherine Gacad.

Every day: gratitude, prayer, meditation, afternoon run. Rinse and repeat.

I raged early on, not just against my ex, but myself, my circumstances, the unfairness of it all. Then came compassion. Some friends and family have taken sides, which is to be expected. There are those who shun me although I know I’ve done nothing wrong; I divorced with the utmost respect for my partner of 10 years and the father of my son.

It also goes both ways, with a friend commenting, “I always knew Dean was such a jerk.”

What? Hold on. We can all be civil and mature about this. No need for an insurrection.

There are no sides to choose in a divorce. Only respect for all parties involved, and love. That’s it. Choose love.

Today on the 4th of July, I also choose love of country. Despite the Trump supporters, police brutality, the racism, the polarization, I choose love.

My friends have ruminated, “My manager hasn’t said anything about Asian violence during our team meetings.” Or “My colleagues didn’t ask how my family in Israel is doing.” Always my response was, “Did you turn to your black network after Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, or George Floyd and ask how they were doing?” No, because people can’t see outside their own community. Injustice towards your own is something worth fighting for. But when there’s injustice against another community, then silence. Equality will be achieved when there is justice for all. Let’s work to be more inclusive in our demands.

After the Olympic hopeful Sha’Carri Richardson tested positive for marijuana, she tweeted, “I am human.” How powerful to admit fallibility and own up to the mistake.

We are stressed. We are challenged. Yet we figure out how to cope, and persevere. It’s just like love. It can be complete bliss, then absolute devastation. But you never stop trying, because it’s that good. Just like freedom and independence are that good. We deserve love. We deserve freedom, independence, happiness. And not just us, but everyone. As we look toward the Olympics, post-pandemic, we’re eyeing second chances and gold.

Happy Birthday America! I salute your maddening complexity, your diversity, your soulfulness. You remind me of myself: error-prone, curious, complicated, gritty. I have so much faith in you as I do for myself.

This post God Bless Me and America appeared first on Catherine Gacad.

I wrote previously that I was excited for 2020 as this was the year I turned 45. I dreamed about the places I would travel and the people I would celebrate with. Those dreams were a mask for the pain I was suffering and have been suffering for quite some time.

In the 15 years I’ve been blogging, I have used this platform as an outlet to share updates on my life and my opinion on current events, sometimes as a call to action for my readers to do something like vote for Hillary Clinton. Reminder there’s work to be done to get out the right vote between now and Election Day November 3rd. I have been open about my struggles with depression and infertility, and how my two miscarriages destroyed me and made me question my faith in God.

I feel that now is the right time to share that early last year, my husband Dean and I separated. I was in the thick of so many negative emotions–despair, anger, sadness, failure–that I will forever remember 2019 as a nadir in my well-being. It’s not easy to end a long-term marriage, especially when there’s a child involved. Honestly, Franco is the reason I held on for as long as I did. Splitting custody is hard enough, but as a mother, being away from my toddler would have been unbearable. On nights I’m away from Franco, I still wince, but he’s 6-years-old now and sufficiently independent to not need both parents every day.

When I told a friend about the divorce, she asked why I wasn’t sharing more broadly. Her insight was that hiding it can be more exhausting as you show up differently based on the type of person you’re trying to portray (your authentic self vs your partial self). She was absolutely correct. However I was not ready then. Only now does it seem like the right time. I slowly shared with close friends, but even that was a process. At first, wanting to share in person. Later, during Covid, calling people. For some of you, this will be the first time hearing it and if so, I hope you’re not offended. As you can imagine, I have been dealing with a lot and one-on-one discussions were emotionally draining.

I also felt maybe it wasn’t my story to tell since marriage is a covenant between two people. I want to respect the sanctity of our vows by not sharing the specific details on why we decided to end our marriage, aside from what I believe to be mismatched marriage compatibility. I will always love Dean; he’s one of my best friends, but even love and friendship does not guarantee marriage success.

We enlisted the help of a couples therapist, child psychologist and mediator–in that order–to help us work through our divorce. The couples therapist, who we had worked with in the past, asked us to acknowledge the beauty in our marriage and what we hoped for the future. Dean and I both cried as we reminisced on our love and how we are completely aligned in Franco as our north star. There was and still is pain despite surrounding ourselves with support and expert advice, but focusing on our son has helped the process not devolve into chaos.

Comparatively, I believe this to be one of the most amicable divorces I’m aware of (with a nod to Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin for paving the way with conscious uncoupling). The fact that we used a mediator should also be an indicator of how collaborative we wanted this to be. I chose our mediator Susanna Tuan based on her personal story.

“My father left my mother and I when I was four years old, and then my mother passed away when I was ten. Since then I was a ward of the court, and was raised by my sister and large extended family. I was the community child. Everyone contributed what they could whether it be time, money or love and life lessons. As a result, I am deeply grateful and value my family and therefore started this family focused practice. While I appreciate the family unit, I’m also well aware that it comes in all shapes, sizes and dynamics. Whoever your family is, it’s my instinct to help you manage and protect it.” 

The first time Dean and I walked into the mediator’s office, we were thrilled to discover she had a dog. I can’t remember the dog’s name or the breed. I don’t even recall whether it was male or female, only that it was a small dog that enjoyed burying itself in your lap. I distinctly remember how soothing it was to hold and stroke. Whenever one of us got aggravated about a particular point in the marital settlement agreement, we would either relinquish or welcome the dog based on who needed it more. A few times the dog was not around which was a point of contention: “Why isn’t your dog here?” as if we expected Susanna to provide an emotional support animal during our mediation.

We are technically not divorced as we await court approval of the Judgement of Resolution, which has been delayed due to Covid; but essentially, Dean and I are no longer married.

While Dean and I rarely fought in front of Franco, we did get into a very big fight during a car ride to a Christmas party last year. It embarrasses me to say that two adults could not help yelling in front of their 5-year-old. Above the fray, Franco hollered from the back of the car, “MEDITATE! Mommy and Daddy, let’s meditate. Breathe. Let’s breathe together.”

My anger melted into a mix of sorrow and shame. What wisdom coming from a child, neutralizing the situation and advising his own parents! I do meditate, but it’s not something I practice in front of Franco. Franco learned it from his school St. Philip Neri. Thank God for the teachers and the school for imparting this method. It wasn’t a prayer that came to mind, but the practice of meditation, which means anyone can do this regardless of religion. Meditate and breathe.

Franco does not know the word divorce. We have not said we are getting divorced. He understands that we are the kind of family that will always love him despite living apart. I have heard of many caustic divorces and did everything in my power to avoid a similar experience. In addition to couples counseling, Dean and I worked closely with a child psychologist to help transition Franco into our new family dynamic. At first, Dean and I traded between the two different levels of our home, then between the home and our newly-built accessible dwelling unit, and now between that property and a new home that I purchased 10 blocks away on the same street, with Franco never away from one parent for more than 3 nights on the weekend. Franco’s teachers and the school were made aware of the situation. Before shelter-in-place, we would get together every Friday for a family dinner at a local restaurant. He has adjusted well between the two different homes, has close neighborhood friends in both locations, and is doing great in spite of the pandemic.

Dean and I were married at St. Dominic’s church in San Francisco on June 3, 2010. All religion has good tenets. Catholicism is modeled on forgiveness, but its culture is one of shame. Shame for being gay. Shame for getting divorced. Shame for not going to church. Shame for any damn mistake. Catholics like to point fingers even though Jesus said “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” Maybe Catholics feel less sinful by projecting their guilt onto others.

I can already hear the gossip in my community circles as they judge what kind of mother ends her marriage and breaks apart her family? My response is: a brave one. At the end of my life, I will determine if I did what was best for me. Not what was best for Franco, which is important, but more importantly, what was best for me. I don’t want Franco growing up thinking that what’s best for others should supersede what’s best for his own good. My whole life I have conformed to please my parents, my family, my teachers, my friends, my employers. This time, I followed my heart and what was right for me, instead of others’ expectations of me, and also the misaligned expectations I had for myself.

This divorce caused me to believe I was a major fucked-up failure. I continue to work through this in intense therapy. I’m not going to lie, when I see family pictures on social media, it’s a sucker-punch to my gut. But however my divorce is characterized, I am proud that I was married for 9 years, and immensely thankful to Dean for giving me Franco, the love of my life and my greatest achievement.

I am not shy about admitting my imperfections. I’m riddled with sin. But I know God forgives in a way no human can ever understand, and that comforts me greatly. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

I often felt very alone during this dark time in my life, but I’ve been blessed to work with my own set of therapists, coaches and friends. My therapist urged me to surround myself with other divorcees which was good advice because hearing their stories was very helpful. Often times you cannot truly understand someone’s path unless you have walked in their shoes, similar to my struggle with infertility. I say this because there is power in the sisterhood, or divorcehood (since I spoke to both men and women), and reaching out to someone who can empathize with the situation you are coping with. It’s not a panacea and sometimes it didn’t work, as I reached out to a few people who either never responded or didn’t respond appropriately (i.e., a divorced friend who said unless I had someone else to move onto, that I should just stick it out. WTF).

Most of the past year has been a blur, but another distinct memory, besides the mediator’s lap dog, was driving to my parents’ home to tell them about the divorce. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and I kept thinking, “this is what it must feel like to walk toward the guillotine.” I was so ashamed to tell my parents–who had watched our courtship, witnessed our church vows, and practically raised our son–that our union was over. I sat down at their dining table and sobbed, and they offered only the most loving support. I will forever be grateful to my parents for wrapping me in their love when I needed it.

Today, the 4th of July, on what would have been 10 years and 1 month of marriage, I am lighting a firecracker of hope in the midst of Coronavirus. Hope that we can all be free from racism, prejudice, the constraints of society, religion, other people and ourselves. I declare my independence from limitations. This is my gift to myself. But I also hope one day Franco says that his mom worked through her fear, that she was someone who loved her only child unconditionally and loved herself enough to dismiss judgements and follow her heart. Maybe now that I have shared this pain, I am free to dream again and dream big.

This post The Divorce Manifesto: Love (and Divorce) in the Time of Coronavirus appeared first on Catherine Gacad.

At the start of the year, I wrote about how we can change the world. We’ve got a lot of opportunity to do that with the impact of coronavirus. Even before I got put on a task force to come up with innovative solutions for my employer, I’ve been digesting the articles and research probably as much as you are.

Solutions

Yesterday, the Commonwealth Club hosted the former FDA Commissioner Dr. Margaret Hamburg to discuss solutions to the Covid-19 crisis and beyond, which you can listen to here. One fact that she gave, which completely blew my mind, is that the first incidence of Covid-19 in the United States and South Korea were discovered at the same time! Here are the stats for those countries as of today.

USA

• Cases: 244,678
• Deaths: 5,911

South Korea

• Cases: 9,976
• Deaths: 169

She said a critical solution would be to appoint a Covid-19 Czar (like we did with Ebola) or authority to consistently govern the country, instead of the inconsistency we are seeing today across our different states, hospital administrations, and the strain on our supply-chain.

I feel so lucky to live in California where our governor Gavin Newsom put the state on shelter-in-place and the mayor of San Francisco London Breed declared a state of emergency. Plus they did this early on.

I’m not a blind rule follower; I do it because I read the research and to me, it’s common sense. Even before the shelter-in-place order, I adamantly refused to be in physical contact with my elderly parents. Several friends would tell me I was being overly-protective. And even now, it still boggles my mind how friends freely chat and still meetup. These are all smart people. But I guess they dismiss science? I try to breathe and tell myself I can only control what I can control.

Recently, Governor Newsom issued an executive order allowing retired doctors and nurses to return to work, and allowing medical and nursing students to start work immediately. I wish I qualified, I would gladly serve. 25,000 Californians registered within 12 hours of the announcement. Wow!

Five years ago, a friend from business school, pivoted from being an executive in the entertainment industry to a life of service. He is currently an ER nurse in Baltimore and shared the following:

“I am not a fan of social media. I do not believe it is a net positive thing for humanity. But as your nurse I am reaching out to beg you all to stay home, maintain social distancing at all times, do not hug, shake hands or touch anyone outside of your home. Wash your hands and sanitize constantly. If you are not doing every one of these things, you are * directly * causing the soon to be hundreds of thousands or even millions of deaths around the world. Please put the heaviest social pressure you can on everybody around you to do the same. It doesn’t matter if you have symptoms – many if not most people with COVID-19 are symptom free. That’s what makes this virus so sinister – because they pass it to vulnerable people.

“This is a defining moment for all of humanity. Unless we take extreme measures now, there will be unimaginable levels of human suffering in the coming weeks.”

Personal Impact

I do not see anyone in-person outside of my household. We FaceTime with my parents. I do several Zoom and FaceTime happy hours. I get provisions from the local Farmers Market on Tuesdays and Saturdays, and we have made the occasional grocery store run. We do takeout or delivery once a week at the most. This is strange since we are a family who normally eats out all the time. We’ve managed to make do with the food from our massive grocery runs. Plus, Dean and I are very simple eaters – nothing fancy.

Working from home and homeschooling has been a big pain in the ass. Distance learning doesn’t really work for a kindergartener as you need to be hands-on. I did cave and buy Franco an iPad which he is loving. I will share the apps I downloaded for him in the resource section below. I’m most productive when he’s asleep, which means I end up working from 9pm to midnight. Sigh.

We do try to get outside as much as we can. We go for a walk right before lunch, then late afternoon. Dean will go for a run, then I will take a solo walk before dinner. We have cheated the shelter-in-place by hiking, but I’ve limited that to weekdays when fewer people are around.

We also have our own, used N95 masks (It’s a California thing because of the wildfires) which we wear when we’re grocery shopping.

I’m lucky to have a job and to have an employer that has been very transparent about the Covid-19 situation with daily communications on what the company is doing to take care of employees and customers.

We are landlords and I reached out to our tenants to let them know that we’re here for them if they have any issues or concerns. We have had the most amazing tenants and we truly care about their well-being. We also reached out to our former nanny in San Francisco who is in her eighties to check in on her.

A company I angel invested in described the steps being taken to keep the company alive:

• Reduction in force
• Shift from full-time to part-time
• Wages reduced by 70%, even higher for the founders
• No ad spending

My heart breaks for small businesses and really everyone who is negatively impacted by Covid-19.

Philanthropy

I have seen GoFundMe campaigns for restaurants, Venmo accounts for teachers, and emails soliciting donations. One that I have donated to is World Central Kitchen. For Covid-19, they are supporting small local restaurants to help sustain our first responders. Win-win! Outside of this current pandemic, they provide meals during natural disasters like the earthquake in Haiti.

Resources

Here are some resources I’ve relied on for Covid-19 news and distance learning, which are tailored for a kindergartener.

Covid-19

• • Johns Hopkins Dashboard
  • SF Chronicle Tracker

Learning

• • Khan Academy Kids
  • Cosmic Kids Yoga
  • PBS Kids
  • Kidz Bop
  • Sardine Feeding Frenzy (my favorite wildlife video)

Trying to Live My Best Life

Despite the circumstances, I’m trying to live my best life. Honestly, I can’t wait to hug all of my loved ones. Franco and I take turns dreaming of where we will go on vacation (Indian Springs Calistoga, Carmel Valley Ranch, Disneyland, Disneyworld, the Philippines).

I’m sleeping less, but I’m eating better. Sadly, See’s Candies announced they were shutting down a day prior to my 3 pound delivery was scheduled. Tears.

I’ve done a couple cleanses. I’m a big fan of this local one.

And below is a clip of me singing. This is a first! I’ve also started playing the piano again.

Wishing you all so much love and laughter during this challenging time. Be well, stay safe.

This post Love in the Time of Corona appeared first on Catherine Gacad.

Reflecting on the last decade, I got married, had two miscarriages, birthed and raised a healthy baby, moved from San Francisco to my hometown, traveled internationally to China, Italy, Honduras, England, France and Mexico, bought a duplex in San Francisco, a Victorian in Alameda, and turned our garage into a one-bedroom bungalow. I got a lot of therapy and coaching, and feel so lucky to be able to lean on a vast network of resources. I couldn’t be more blessed. I also lost loved ones, including several unexpectedly and tragically; so it is not lost on me that every day above ground is a good one.

I’m excited for 2020, not just because this kicks off a new decade, but also because this year will be my 45^th birthday. I love that birthdays are another reason to get together, so look out! I won’t even say when my actual birthday is because I plan on celebrating all year, all over: Palm Springs, NYC, LA, Burning Man, Vegas. And more to come.

I wanted to share some things I’ve learned and my intentions for 2020 and beyond.

Travel Internationally

I just returned from Mexico and realized how important international travel is to really understand our connection to the world and other people/cultures. You don’t need agile training: travel internationally! Being able to navigate, interpret from sign language, facial expression and context despite not knowing the language, and having emotional intelligence and street smarts is so critical.

Before I became a mother, I used to travel internationally frequently. I remember my former boss saying she didn’t understand why I had to leave the country when there’s so much to explore in America. I felt sorry for her and her family, spending vacation time going from one national park to another. I like nature too, but the world is here for us to explore. I don’t know about you, but I would rather see the Great Pyramid than the Grand Canyon. I want to see both, but if I had to choose, I’m flying to Egypt!

Be Kind and Teach Others to Be Kind

Recently, I was able to teach my son Franco one of my non-negotiables, which is that I never walk away from a mother on the street with her child. I have not had that opportunity to teach him that lesson here in San Francisco despite our rampant homeless problem, but there was a mother with a baby huddled next to our hotel in Mexico City. I explained to Franco that we always give. Franco noted that the mother also had a little girl who was wandering around asking for money, which I was aware of—and glad that Franco pointed it out. Our kids will not understand how privileged they are until they see poverty with their own eyes.

Stop Giving Presents, Give to Those in Need

This leads me to another important endeavor which is philanthropy.

Maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up getting a lot of presents. So when I see all the presents Franco gets, I’m taken aback, especially since this kid has more toys than a toy store. He doesn’t need another plastic gimmick. Of course, we are grateful for all the gifts he receives. But as a parent, my job is to teach him that the season is about giving, not only about receiving, which is why we went caroling at a convalescent home on Christmas morning—the highlight of our holiday.

I, personally, have stopped giving material gifts. I donate on behalf of family and friends. My new favorite charity is Watsi. 100% of the donations fund life-improving/life-saving healthcare for patients who cannot afford it. The organization even pays the credit card processing fees. All operating expenses are covered by foundations and some of the biggest names in venture capital.

I completely blitzed on getting presents for Franco’s teachers. I showed up to assist with the Christmas party and watched in horror as other parents doled out cards and presents. A few days later, I logged into Watsi and sent gift cards to the school staff.

Once you receive your gift card via email, you go onto the site, and choose your patient. For example, I recently funded ear surgery for a boy in Cambodia. The email follow-up indicates when the surgery is fully funded and the result.

Sopheak’s operation went well. Surgery will improve his quality of life by eliminating ear discharge and discomfort. Surgery is also important to ensure he does not suffer from hearing loss.

Sopheak said, “I am so happy that my surgery was successful and that I can hear clearly again and no longer have any problems with my ear.”

Can life get any better than when you use your resources to help someone in need? Research indicates that giving leads to happiness.

Embrace Minimalism

Take one look at me and you know I’m a minimalist. I don’t wear makeup. My hair is pulled up in a mom bun. I wear a watch held together by rubber bands. I embrace a uniform wardrobe of black. Less choice allows me to focus on decisions that are more important to me than fashion.

I’m constantly simplifying, including my lifetime collection of books which is now whittled down to two book shelves. I do enjoy seeing people’s personal libraries, but realized I wasn’t going to go back and reread the majority of my books. Some I’ve kept include The Great Gatsby, The Bell Jar, The Soul of Money and my collection of Virginia Woolf books.

Focus on What Matters

I minimize the amount of content/distractions/notifications that leads to overwhelm and inefficiency.

This has allowed me to average 3 books a month. I read a total of 36 books in 2019. And before the end of this week, I will have finished another 2. As an English major, I am passionate about reading. Books make me laugh and cry. It’s therapy! I’ll have to write about my recent favorites in a future post, but I keep a running list of my favorite books here.

I’m also part of an anthology which will be published in March. I’ve been working on finalizing my chapter for the past few months.

I like to say, “I don’t cook. I radiate.” I never learned how to cook, opting instead to throw a Lean Cuisine into the microwave for 4 minutes. And I’m ok with it. If I’m feeling particularly ambitious, I’ll make a salad, but most of my meals are either nuked or come from a restaurant.

I’m focused on what my priorities are (cooking not one of them): parenting, working, reading, writing, praying, spending quality time in person with family/friends/network, staying healthy, planning trips and making good investments in myself and financially.

We All Choose

My mother who helps care for Franco is a helicopter grandparent. I saw this first-hand in Mexico. He had to be by her side, otherwise, God forbid, he’d be kidnapped by the cartel. Her vigilance never let up, even at a 5 star resort. I watched this with curiosity, knowing that’s not the type of parent I want to be. Of course, I want my child to be safe in a foreign land, but his independence needs to be nurtured, especially back home in a safe environment.

During the trip, we also practiced Franco’s scripture for an oratory festival he has coming up. He would butcher his way through the scripture once or twice and I would sigh, ok, we will practice again tomorrow. My tiger mom got wind of this and pulled Franco aside, “Again! Put it in your brain! Again…until we have it right!” My mom put the fear of God in him and he had it memorized quickly, which made me realize how soft I had been earlier. I watched my mom with respect, realizing I need to be more disciplined when it comes to Franco’s work ethic.

I describe these situations because we all choose what works for us and what doesn’t, from the people we associate with, to what we witness. We each decide what to move forward with. I will do that as a parent, and Franco as well. He’ll have his own opinion on what he liked/disliked from how he was parented.

I’ve been working on this in coaching where I thought I was anchored to certain negative behaviors from my past because I didn’t have good examples to show me the way. Yet I can choose to change the narrative and take a positive approach, one that serves me better.

Have Self-Compassion, Faith and Respect

This is my most important intention. I have been processing a lot of guilt and anger, especially this past year. My coach prodded, wouldn’t it be nice—that your gift this Christmas could be to honor yourself, to have self-compassion, that vulnerability is true healing.

I also went to church to confess my sins—the first time in many many years. My penance was to read Psalm 23 after the rector gave me absolution. If God can love unconditionally—“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long”—then I can have compassion for myself. I am working on that.

I went to a kid’s birthday party today and one of the mothers talked about how she is honest with her daughter. Santa Claus is not real. Jesus is not real. Jesus is a fictional character created to give people hope. Of course, I cringed, but I try to be respectful of everyone’s opinions. I am a devout Catholic who is strengthened by my faith, which I’m passing down to Franco. Franco has friends who span the religious spectrum and was telling me the other day the story of Hanukkah and how there was only enough oil for 1 night, but the menorah burned for 8 nights. I was very impressed!

Care for the Environment

I am so obsessed with In-n-Out that I looked into hiring a truck to cater our wedding. But I also love animals and care about the environment so I asked my nutritionist about cutting meat from my diet. She shook her head that if I didn’t eat meat, I would waste away because my metabolism is too high. I then used this as my rallying cry to continue my 2-3x/week addiction with animal-style cheeseburgers.

Several months ago, I spent a day at Charlie’s Acres, which is an animal sanctuary in Sonoma. The experience really opened my eyes to opting for vegan options where possible. But what really sealed the deal was enjoying a vegan lunch that was so yummy and so filling, I was in shock. I didn’t eat meat, yet I’m full? What is happening?! Now, I’m no vegan and I’m no saint, but I’ve gone to In-n-Out only once, possibly twice in the past few months. And I have proactively sought out vegan restaurants. Seriously, who am I?

“If we cut global meat consumption in half and used all of that farmland to grow fruits/veggies for people to eat directly, we could feed every single person on earth today, plus an extra 2 billion people.” Factory Farming Awareness Coalition

We are already seeing a significant change with a decline in dairy milk consumption. Let’s fight climate change with diet change.

Love this article on 101 ways to live more sustainably.

I hope some of these changes resonate with you and I look forward to making a positive impact on the world in 2020 and beyond. Let’s do this!

This post How to Change the World in 2020 appeared first on Catherine Gacad.

Have you seen this viral video of thankfulness? I want to emulate that kind of gratitude every single day! I am thankful for the following and so much more:

• My beautiful son Franco who gives me joy and laughter every single day
• Dean for being a great father and hosting a wonderful Thanksgiving
• My parents for immigrating here and parenting my son
• My sister – I loved listening to her play the piano today
• My brother-in-law – always good to have a doctor in the family
• My nephews who are taller than me and will accomplish so much good in this world
• A great career and really enjoying what I do
• Going to St. Joseph Basilica this morning for Thanksgiving mass and realizing how much I love the community and how much they love Franco
• The priests at my church, who we gave a standing ovation to at the end of mass
• Franco’s piano teacher
• My good health
• Tina who lives a block away and makes us lumpia
• Being able to put on a cashmere sweater and down coat when it’s cold outside

The movie “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” has just come out to rave reviews and was directed by an alum from my high school. This morning I showed Franco an episode of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, hoping he would like it. He said he didn’t want to watch it, but I persisted. After it finished, he asked if we could watch another episode. Honestly, I had completely forgotten about the beautiful messages about self-love and kindness Mister Rogers tries to convey to the audience. It was mesmerizing! Highly recommend these vintage episodes for your child. They’re free on Amazon Prime Video or the Mister Rogers website.

This post Thanksgiving 2019 appeared first on Catherine Gacad.

My friend Chuck McIlvain was one of the 34 victims from the boat Conception, which was transporting scuba divers and caught on fire on Memorial Day off the coast of Santa Barbara near the Channel Islands. This is the deadliest marine disaster in California and the cause of the fire is currently unknown.

I have spent the past few days trying to process this tragedy. Eyes well up; I blink away. I’ll regularly scan Chuck’s Facebook feed because it’s such a delight to read everyone’s wonderful stories. I’d like to share a few of mine here.

Chuck and I both graduated from UC Berkeley the same year. I didn’t know him in college, but we had mutual friends. We were both hired after college to work for an environmental consulting firm. Thrust into an intense work culture, we became fast friends. We also commiserated over our measly salary. He constantly joked, “How is it that an engineering major from Cal makes the same amount of money as an English major.”

I got back by scaring the bejesus out of him. While he was turned around in his cubicle, I’d summon my inner ninja, sneak in, creep up behind him and SCREAM! Or the best was when I crept in and stood behind him while he sat in his chair. He had no idea I was there. I just stood, watching him work. Then I’d say, like a haunting ghost, “Good stuff.” He practically peed in his pants. How we laughed!

I remember one day Chuck wasn’t in his cubicle and I asked where he was. Apparently he had broken up with his girlfriend and was too heartsick to come to work. I didn’t think much of it and shrugged. Keep in mind, up until this point, I hadn’t been in a relationship with anyone so couldn’t really fathom what it meant to be heartsick.

The next day I went into Chuck’s cube to say hello. He turned around and his eyes were blood red. My dear Chuck! I gave him the biggest hug and asked him about it. He looked exhausted and in so much pain. I offered, “Oh Chuck, tell her how you feel. You’re a mess. You can work it out. It will be ok.”

He shook his head, “We said some things to each other that we can’t take back. It’s over.”

I pleaded with him to go home and rest. How could he work in his condition? But he’d already taken a day off (see above about our measly pay, let alone our limited benefits) and couldn’t afford to take another day.

I distinctly remember that moment as the first, and possibly only time, I had seen a man be so vulnerable and sensitive.

When I scroll through his Facebook feed, I see so much laughter and spirit. But that vulnerability and emotion that can be so lacking in this world, he shined a light on that too.

As I mentioned, Chuck was a friend of mine from work. But I’ve also realized these past few days that my work friends don’t have to be compartmentalized. That they’re my friends just as any other. Chuck McIlvain and Dean Oliver were my first friends that I made through work. And over the years, I’ve made work friends who have celebrated at my wedding, held my baby, and one day will attend my funeral. I’m now keenly aware of friends I spend my days with, collaborating on projects and meeting deadlines—friends who bring joy to the work place.

I want to offer my sincere condolences to Chuck’s wife and his family, but also gratitude for raising and sharing with us this honorable man.

This post Ode to Chuck McIlvain appeared first on Catherine Gacad.

The Lair of the Golden Bear is UC Berkeley’s family camp located in Pinecrest, CA, which is between Tahoe and Yosemite, and a 3-hour drive from San Francisco. Note that you don’t have to be a Cal alum to camp. I’d always known about the Lair. You’d think probably because I’m a Cal grad, although there are plenty of Cal grads who don’t even know about it. Maybe because I was a forestry minor and I remember a few of my classmates talking about it. Either way, I’ve always had in the back of my head that one day I’d take my family there.

Well this was the year. I figured that 5 years old was a good age to indoctrinate Franco with Cal spirit over the course of one week. Franco did great. Me? Well let’s just say that I’ve gotten soft in my old age!

The summer I minored in Forestry, I turned 21. I spent three whole months away at Cal Forestry Camp (near Quincy, CA, 2 hours east of Chico), and there were several nights I opted to sleep outside in a sleeping bag in a meadow or surrounded by trees–no tent, no air mattress! God, I used to be made of steel.

Not anymore. I am psychotically sensitive to noise, which doesn’t bode well for the Lair environment. On our first night, a drunk, first-time camper screamed for a good 10-15 minutes around 1am. Half the people I asked the next morning said they hadn’t even heard! WTF! We were hillside, away from the action and his location, but it was still very audible. It didn’t help when legacy campers said that had never happened in the history of the Lair. Yet it happened on our very first night! The following night, a kid in a nearby cabin literally had the croup. Practically hacked up his innards for a good hour. Thank God I brought sleeping pills; I took them every night thereafter. We also brought a white noise machine which seemed to work for Dean and Franco.

There were mosquitoes. I swelled up from bites, despite bathing in DEET. While completing the Lair survey post-camp, I commented, “Have you considered reducing the camp duration to 6 versus 7 nights?” Seven nights is a long time. The last time we went on vacation for that long was when Dean and I went to Paris a few years ago for 10 nights total…for international travel!

I’ll set my minor complaints aside, for a moment, since my son is my life. Franco absolutely loved it. After the first night, he returned to our cabin, pleading, “Mommy, when I’m older I want to work at Cal Camp.”

I viewed this as the perfect teaching moment. “Franco, you can, but you’ll have to work really hard. These students are the best of the best. They’re the top of their class. If you work hard and study hard, you can work at the Lair too.”

I should put an asterisk here that not all the camp staff are Cal students. It used to be a requirement, but it’s so damn hard to get into Cal, that half the staff come from other schools. I should put a second asterisk here that the best students are probably making bank doing internships at Microsoft or Goldman Sachs versus making pottery with my son.

Nevertheless, the staffers are AMAZE-BALLS, so much so that campers were literally handing out business cards to the college students. I was so impressed with one kid that I told him if ever he needed anything (networking contacts, a job) to call me. Franco loved the staff. He showered them with hugs, and was always holding someone’s hand.

So here’s where I’ll get into what makes the Lair unique, which is the combination of the excellent staff and the programming. There are activities galore: swimming, tennis, basketball, yoga, hiking, massage, music, art. And the kids have their own dedicated cohort and directors: Kub Korral (2-5 years), 6 & 7’s, 8 & 9’s, Preteen and Teens. There are morning and afternoon activities, and sometimes evening events. Parents drop their kids off, all the kids bond, and for the most part, you have a pretty relaxed, quasi-child-free vacation.

The evening performances were hilarious: welcome campfire, hootenanny and the farewell campfire. The students do skits that are even funnier than SNL. I laughed so hard. There was also the wacky Sunday pool show and family disco bingo. And what’s special about Week 4 was the tri-camp 4th of July carnival. We were in Camp Blue, but there’s also Camp Gold and Camp Oski. The evening shows go until 9pm, which means you’re not getting your kids in bed until 9:30-10:00pm. In the morning, you would see parents bringing food from the dining hall back to their tents where kids were sleeping in.

My intention for the vacation was to read, and read I did. I read in the lounge and by the pool. I did some light hiking. Dean and I played a game of Scrabble. There’s also a lot of hanging out and drinking. Someone hosted a blind wine tasting which was super fun. Unless you have Verizon, cell reception doesn’t work, which is actually pretty nice. If necessary, you can connect to wifi at the lounge.

The environment is extremely respectful and safe. Your tented cabin doesn’t lock. The “door” is a flap of canvas. You put your toiletries in a cubby in the closest communal bathroom. Towels are strewn over the pool fence. I found a $100 bill near the pool, asked the people sitting next to me if it was theirs, and one of them took the dollar bill, and went around to everyone else at the pool asking if they had dropped it. Crazy honor system going on at the Lair!

The meals are included and decent to pretty good. I felt like the dinners were always excellent. Someone rings a bell to alert the camp that food is served. There’s also the Lair Bean where you can purchase coffee drinks and smoothies in the morning. I started going there for a large hot chocolate every morning in lieu of breakfast. And for late nights, there’s the Burger Shack inside the lounge. Franco liked their hot dogs. There’s also a camp store where you can sign up for massages or buy Cal apparel or treat your kid to ice-cream. This is also where you pay your bill at the end of camp and tip the fabulous staff!

Obviously, we are heading back next year! It’s all about letting kids be kids and being out in nature and making friends. Franco made such wonderful connections and we are looking forward to making the Lair a family tradition.

What to bring to camp (aside from the typical packing list):

• Toilet paper: Because sometimes it’s hard to retrieve toilet paper from the holders. It was like pulling teeth.
• High concentration DEET if you are prone to mosquito bites. I’m fond of the DEET wipes that I found on Amazon.
• Someone recommended bringing a rug for inside your cabin and that was a nice touch.
• White noise machine
• Full-length mirror
• Walkie-talkies: I’m actually torn on this one. We did not bring, but sometimes it felt like it would have come in handy. Franco befriended a girl who had one, so we would always just ask the parents where Franco was and they would check in and find out.
• Good healthy snacks for your kids: Because sometimes they won’t eat what’s served at the dining hall.
• Christmas lights or decorations for your cabin
• Alcohol

There’s also Pinecrest Lake and these spectacular views.

This post What to Know About the Lair of the Golden Bear appeared first on Catherine Gacad.