The invites for garden and graduation parties, charity brunches, and polo picnics have hit your mailbox (or your inbox), and as a gracious guest, you are likely searching for the perfect hostess gift. Summer plans are also in the works, and you may be staying with good friends or family, and don’t want to show up empty-handed.

While there is no one-size-fits-all amount to spend on a hostess gift, we’ve pulled together a loose, gentle guide for those who need a place to start. It’s your call to spend more or less, depending on your personal budget and relationship with your host. We’ve also included a few gift ideas, and would love to hear about your favorites as well (tag us on social media). 

Hostess Gift Ideas: The Perfect Nudge

(Formal) Evening Dinner/Cocktail Party: $30 – $50 (Think: the cost of a good bottle of liquor or wine).

A few “Martha-approved” favorites include fluted taper candles or beaded napkin rings. Keep in mind the effort the host has put into the event. A potluck, BYOB party may call for a great pair of BBQ tongs, while a more proper occasion would welcome a monogrammed set of cloth or linen cocktail napkins.

(Casual) Poolside Cookout: $25 (Think: chef’s apron, cutting board/cheese knife, bottle of wine)

An apron fits the theme perfectly, and there are so many options to match their personality and style. Similarly, one can never have too many cutting boards or good bottles of wine. 

(A Weekend Visit): $50 gift – When the invitation includes multiple meals or days, expectations tend to shift. Beyond the gift, plan to take the host out to dinner one or two times and chip in with daily chores such as setting the table, clearing the dishes, and keeping your room clean. 

The hostess gift is not “payment” for the kindness, simply the first gesture of gratitude. Custom tea towels, a high-quality candle in their favorite scent, or a pretty set of dinner napkins are thoughtful and useful. 

(Staying a Week): $50 – $100 gift, and the same rule applies as the weekend. You should still contribute with other kind gestures or experiences (something for the house, or paying for dinner or theatre/sports tickets while you are together). 

The cost of a week’s groceries is what you should aim to contribute in one way or another during your stay. A few more Martha picks include a beautiful cookbook, high-quality place cards, a set of loose-leaf tea, and a favorite bottle of olive oil. 

Also plan to buy some groceries without asking and offer to make a meal or two.

You aren’t off the hook with friends and family. 

You want to make sure they don’t feel taken advantage of and that they invite you back, so it’s important to treat them with the same consideration. Family, especially parents, is a bit different. They probably don’t want you to do much financially, but you can certainly pitch in with groceries, a special gift or experience, and the gift of time.

Someone is Hosting Your Children for the Weekend: $50 gift/gift certificate to the local pizza parlor or grocery store. 

In addition:

• A box of beautiful note cards
• A basket of healthy snacks for the kids and the host parent
• A casserole for breakfast and a bag of roasted coffee beans
• Gourmet jelly and a dozen healthy muffins

This homemade vanilla was gifted to me on September 26, 2020, and I love the bottle so much and the darling little twine wrapped around the top that I just keep refilling it. This is beyond a hostess gift that’s turned into a loving memory.

How to Give the Hostess Gift: 

Presentation is part of the gift experience. 

• A hostess gift should always be given in a decorative bag or box.
• Include a gift tag so the host will know who gave it to them.
• Avoid bringing flowers if they are not in a pretty mason jar or decorative vase. Better still, send them in advance so the host can place them somewhere special before the guests arrive.
• Consider giving a quality bottle of liqueur or champagne as opposed to a bottle of wine. Never chilled.
• Personalize the gift based on the hostess’s preference. For example, for a seasoned cook, give a good bottle of olive oil and specialty balsamic vinegar in a basket with fresh bread and fruit. Or, a box of scented hand soap and a pretty set of finger towels for the guest powder room.

Long after your visit, a memorable hostess gift is one that holds a special memory of you.

You may also like Houseguest Etiquette Reminders for the Summer.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

Warmth, charm, and grace are found in the little things, which can often be found in your mother’s or grandmother’s closet, online (even Amazon!), or in vintage stores for a fraction of the cost of a new piece of jewelry.

In honor of Mother’s Day, we’re sharing a handful of our favorite things below. Add to her collection or start your own. Timely pieces can be a part of your current brand, and will eventually be part of your legacy.

Pearls

Pearls have always had a place in a woman’s jewelry box, but lately, the small, polished “stud” is taking front and center when it comes to casual, modern, and chic. It speaks to an effortless look, with jeans and tennis shoes, or a beautiful suit. On the court, or at a fundraiser, a simple single stud can’t be beat. Of course, I believe the more pearls, the merrier, and you can find them anywhere these days from Amazon to fine jewelry. Whether it’s a simple strand necklace, a bracelet, a stud, or a brooch, a pearl piece of jewelry instantly elevates your look – casual or dressy.

Eyelash Curler

A quick squeeze uplifts your lashes and your eyes look wide and bright. You can use this device on your own, or your own purchased pair of fake lashes. I tend to wear fake lashes when I’m working and I give them a quick swipe of mascara and a squeeze, and they look gorgeous.

Monogrammed Cufflinks

For men and women, a lovely indulgence and great conversation piece is a subtle cufflink with a special inscription. Personal accessories that can be passed down from generation to generation are always a welcome essential. Ask your parents or grandparents if they have any in their jewelry box they would like to gift you.

Personalized Stationery

The thank you note, and a handwritten letter are not a thing of the past. When someone receives a note from you, they are reminded of your smile, your personality, and your thoughtfulness. Don’t miss an opportunity to stand out with your choice of notecard or paper product.

Fountain Pen

Writing with authentic and memorable intention gets even better when you use a special pen. Collecting them through the years, or buying a vintage model always feels good when you pull it out of the drawer, or carry it in your purse in a special case. It calls attention to subtle details that people notice and admire. I have a special pen, given to me by my son, that I treasure.

Vintage Hankies

There is something so sentimental about a vintage hankie, from its thoughtful, tiny details to recalling the first time you were offered one by a mannerly family member or friend. A good friend of mine has a floral embroidered hankie that her mother tucked away inside a beautiful handbag. She carries it as a token of their bond.

Silk (or Silk-Like) Scarves and Pocket Squares

These can be so fun, especially when styled on the strap of your handbag. I recently came across this sweet video, where the creator has “braided” her silk scarf and added a purse charm. There are countless ways to tie and wear your favorite silk or designer-inspired scarf to instantly elevate your look. Pocket squares are another simple detail that deliver polish.

Gloves

Gloves are making a comeback on the red carpet; they have a way of capturing our attention. Beyond aesthetics, gloves communicate intention, suggesting that getting dressed is its own occasion. Even a simple pair can transform an outfit into something that feels thoughtfully composed.

Calling (Business or Social) Cards

In a world that often feels digital-first, a printed business card is a small but impactful gesture. It’s a physical reminder of an interaction, and something that lingers more than the tap of a screen. Social calling cards are another gracious nod, allowing you to leave a touch of timeless charm.

You may also like 11 Modern Etiquette Tips to Use Every Day.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

Inspired by a recent appearance on CBS New York covering Modern Manners in the Age of AI, we’re sharing some do’s and don’ts below. As always, tailor your approach based on your industry, the relationship you share, and any relevant guidelines or policies. 

Do Credit the Proper Resource

Just like you would when you are citing an expert or quoting a source, if using AI to create a professional PowerPoint, turning in an important document, or creating marketing material for a client, if it’s not original, give credit to the proper source.

Do Edit

If you use AI for research or to help you fine-tune your thoughts, you can find great value in the help (when appropriate). Just make sure to edit and personalize the final draft with your own language and tone of voice. 

Do Double Check the Information

Verify the information and double-check the sources before accepting information AI presents as fact. Lizzie Short for Harvard’s Professional & Executive Development reminds us: “While the uses of AI tools can seem unlimited, it’s critical that their expertise does not go unquestioned;  AI tools are only as reliable as the data they’re trained on — and the people who build them.”  

There was also a cautionary TIME article about AI being capable of deceit (worth a read).

Do Respect Privacy and Confidentiality

Steer clear of sharing sensitive, personal, or proprietary information  in AI tools. Exercise caution and restrain from sharing what isn’t yours, such as client information or private conversations. 

Don’t Bait and Switch

Completing a dating profile and using images that misrepresent you or your life is a red flag. While it’s fine to use AI to edit for grammar or to get ideas to spin into your own words, allowing AI to create a completely different version of you will definitely backfire. Using photos, background images, clothing, and other filters can be damaging when the other person finds out it’s not really you.  

Don’t Forget to Remove the Emojis

Remember to edit and adjust AI responses so they are more true to your thoughts and your voice. The extra emojis and specific formatting can take away from the message you’re hoping to convey. This is especially true if you tend to avoid extra emotion when texting or emailing. 

Don’t Copy and Paste 

Serious conversations should take place in person, such as a heartfelt apology, a possible break-up, or a sincere thank you. AI can be of assistance when organizing your thoughts, looking for help with a considerate message that can be turned into your own words and natural tone. A copy-and-paste version is cold and insincere.

You may also like our AI Etiquette segment on Fox 7 Austin.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

It’s also a solemn occasion for many and a reason to celebrate in our faith community. A quiet time of intention that took shape through sharing a special meal and taking part in treasured rituals.

Here is a look at some beautiful traditions from times past, which I also personally value as Easter soon approaches.

Dressing for Easter

Dressing for Easter was quite an art; men’s spring suits were freshly pressed and new for spring, and ladies opted for fresh pastels and silk ribbons, elegant flowers, and the iconic “Easter bonnet.” Clothing was worn to demonstrate a feeling of renewal and respectability. Today, showing up to a family gathering, dressed up rather than down, sends the message that you value the Easter celebration with family and friends.

The Easter Table

The Easter table was full of beautiful symbolism. Eggs were a sign of new life, the lamb stood for purity and sacrifice, bread stood for sustenance, and spring flowers, especially lilies, represented the resurrection. Polish families prepared święconka baskets for a special blessing before the holiday, and in Italy, the dove-shaped colomba cake was a special treat and a statement.

Whatever the food served, make a special effort to be a good guest at the table by talking to the person on both your left and your right, knowing a few dining skills to make others feel comfortable around you, and toasting the host at dessert is always a welcome addition.

The Art of the Easter Egg

In the past, Easter eggs were tiny works of art. In Ukraine, pysanky eggs were made with wax-resist art, and the symbols evoked everything from protection to prosperity. Of course, there are the famed Fabergé eggs from Imperial Russia, telling a story in stunning opulence. Families all around the world dyed Easter eggs with herbs, beetroot, and onion skins.

I love to buy beautiful sacks of inexpensive, plastic Easter eggs and fill my vintage bowls with them. I have collected candy dishes, glass bowls, and even serving bowls that all welcome these beautiful little treasures.

The Gift of the Easter Egg

Eggs were traditionally blessed and shared to celebrate the end of the 40-day Lenten fast, a period when eating eggs was prohibited. Historical records from 1307 mention Edward I of England giving out 450 boiled eggs decorated with gold leaf. A lovingly decorated Easter egg was given as an act of affection or friendship.

The Chocolate Easter Egg

According to Chocolate Trading Co, the first chocolate Easter eggs originated in Europe in the early 19th Century. This new “artistic confectionery” made its debut in France and Germany.

One of my favorite candies is chocolate-covered gummy bears. While it’s not traditional Easter candy, I purchase several bags and give them out to all of my guests with a little handwritten note letting them know how much I love and value our relationship.

The Easter Bunny

The Easter bunny has its roots in 1600s German folklore. German immigrants told the legend of the Easter hare, Osterhase, that would lay eggs for well-mannered children.

Easter Processions, Bells, and Beyond

In many communities, Easter extended into the public space in the form of processions, church bells, and other community festivities. Easter was a collective experience, from the midnight services of the Orthodox traditions to Spain’s elaborate Semana Santa.

However you spend your Easter, from a simple gathering in the backyard or an elegant dinner at a restaurant, don’t forget to revisit customs, traditions, and simple pleasures of the new season.

You may also Bunny Trail to Brunch: Easter Etiquette Tips For The Host. We’re also including Easter Table Etiquette Tips below.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

The same goes for children playing games or watching videos, volume up, as they wait in the doctor’s office, at a restaurant, on a park bench, or in another public space. There have been plenty of dad jokes about this etiquette dilemma, all while the offender appears to be oblivious to those around them. 

In today’s post, let’s jump into this noisy situation. We’ve all been there! 

Public Spaces and Private Consideration

From a courtesy perspective, playing music or watching a video in a tight space in public with the volume up can easily be perceived as impolite. Whether the distraction is visual or noise-related, when someone is intruding on another person’s public space, it’s not easy to look away and ignore.

Perhaps the culprit is the dopamine hit our devices give us, simple boredom, or a lack of understanding of common courtesy. Although it may not be intentional, it’s about perceived behavior, and when you’re sitting inches away from another person, even lower noises are amplified.

Are there exceptions?

There are always legitimate exceptions, such as someone not hearing well, technical difficulties, or an emergency. Otherwise, phone etiquette dictates that you take your device off speakerphone, listen to the music, or watch the video another time. There are also earbuds and captions to utilize. 

Speakerphone etiquette dictates that you avoid using it in public spaces. You’re sharing information that may be confidential. The other person may not know they are on speakerphone, and it disrupts people nearby. Those who have accessibility issues can use captions and if they must use the phone on speaker, we should give an exception. The same goes for real emergencies.

Should I approach the offender?

While it is poor manners to intrude on other people‘s personal space, it’s not always wise to approach the offender. Extend grace, and know that it may not be intentional. It’s hard and possibly risky to determine another person‘s reaction, and if you can ignore it for a very short subway ride, it’s probably best to do so. 

What about children?  

When your schedules have finally synced up, and you’re sitting down at your favorite restaurant, the annoying sounds of a kid’s video series or gaming app can be quite jarring. The responsibility to make the adjustment falls on the parent(s), and sometimes they are too overwhelmed or simply can’t be bothered to consider your experience. 

It’s best to avoid a conversation or conflict with them, instead asking your server if you might be able to move tables. If that isn’t an option, explain your concern politely, and ask if they may be willing to approach the family. All you can really do is remain lighthearted and make the most of your time together. 

You may also like the ‘Dying to Ask’ podcast: Why you should text and don’t call with etiquette expert Diane Gottsman.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

“A hundred thousand welcomes”

One of the most famous Irish phrases is the “Céad Míle Fáilte” which means a hundred thousand welcomes. It reflects the tradition of making guests feel welcome and ensuring that everyone they meet feels included.

Some common classic examples of Irish customs using an Irish pub illustration:​

• Buying a round of drinks at the pub – it’s about including everyone and sharing quality time together.
• “Pulling up a chair” – when someone new arrives, it’s common to invite them to join the group or conversation.
• Singing and Storytelling – The best storytellers are also the best listeners in Irish culture. This custom emphasizes the importance of everyone feeling included and joining in the conversation.

Why is Ireland Called the Emerald Isle?

Ireland is known for its rolling hills and beautiful green countryside. The mild climate keeps the environment green and lush, which is also a symbol of warmth and hospitality.  The “Emerald Isle Spirit” signifies a welcome environment where people feel included, which is the theme of St. Patrick’s Day.

“The Luck of the Irish” – Not Just about Money

This term is often used to describe good fortune, but it also references creating goodwill. What you put out in the world comes back to you – it’s about the way we treat others and how our luck is not really luck at all but the byproduct of our intentional behavior. A shamrock is the symbol of unity – three separate leaves growing from one stem. Some would say it’s the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Others will call it health, luck, and happiness. Make your own shamrock and label it as a family or in a friend group.

Some other Irish symbols and customs:

• The leprechaun – again, much like “Lucky Charms,” the leprechaun is a symbol of Good Luck and Fortune. 
• An Irish proverb – “May your troubles be less and your blessings be more.” (good for a toast!)

An Irish Toast

The most common alternative to saying “Cheers” is “Sláinte,” which is pronounced SLAWN-chah. Translated, it means “To good health and good friends.”

What is an Irish Exit?

It’s quietly leaving a party without saying goodbye to the host and fellow guests. If you are at a large St. Patrick’s Day party and your host is busy with all of their guests and host duties, leaving at a decent time is appropriate. At a St. Patrick’s Day dinner party, with a small group, and you are tired, it’s rude not to say goodbye to the host.

You may also like Shamrocks and Shenanigans: A St. Patrick’s Day Etiquette Quiz.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

From baby showers to showering the bride, there are always an abundance of questions we receive on this topic. I recently covered shower etiquette on SA Living, and the conversation continued after the show aired. The following are some questions that came up, along with my answers below. You’ll also find the video from the segment; remember, preparation and good intention are the key to a successful shower. 

My mother would like to create a special cake for the shower. Can she handle this important detail if I’m in agreement? 

This is where a distinction exists between tradition and sentiment. A family recipe, passed down through generations and made with love by a family member, is most always welcome. It can be shared quietly, or the story can be told to the guests as a sentimental stroll down memory lane. The cake could be a cherished childhood memory that the family wants to continue honoring. Of course, this must be arranged with and approved by the host. An unannounced cake (or any food item) is not a welcome guest.

Is a sister-in-law an acceptable host for the wedding shower?

Traditionally, the immediate family didn’t host a shower. The responsibility went to a close friend, group of friends, and thoughtful family members. Today, this area of hosting etiquette has relaxed, although many still refrain from hosting. When it isn’t practical or possible for others to host, the sister-in-law is welcome to do so, ideally with help from others close to the family. 

May the baby shower host ask guests to bring food along with their gift?

In a simple word – no. A shower is not a potluck affair. Asking your guests to bring food, along with a gift, feels like they are being asked to “sing for their supper.” If you are having difficulty with the budget, change the format, simplify the food, bake the cake (see first question), and reach out to friends who may be willing to cohost the shower with you.

How do I diplomatically communicate that the wedding shower is “no kids”? 

Allow the invitation to be the guide. Rather than saying “No Kids,” simply address the invitation to the adults. If they call and ask if their kids are welcome, you can say, “We are keeping this celebration adults only so we can concentrate on our guest of honor.” Yes. It may hurt feelings, but it’s important to set boundaries if it’s a special request of the guest of honor.

If invited to a joint shower but I only know one honoree, am I required to bring two gifts?

It’s always nice to bring a very modest gift to acknowledge the shared celebration, but it’s not an absolute yes. In this case, it’s more about the occasion than the guest you do not know.

Do I bring a host gift?

Yes. Nothing over the top, but a small gesture of goodwill and gratitude for being invited into someone’s home is always appreciated. If the event is being held at a venue, a thank you note to the host is appropriate.

Should the mother-in-law offer to pay for the cake?

No. The host of the shower will cover the expenses unless the mother or mother-in-law asks to contribute, and the host wants to accept a discreet offer of assistance. There is a fine line between being helpful and appearing pushy – don’t cross it.

May I leave before the gifts are opened?

In the perfect scenario, a guest would stay until the end of the celebration. The exceptions are when the party is running long, you have another important commitment, or you are going to be late for work. The part of the ceremony where the gifts are opened is a tradition where wrapping paper and bows are saved, lists of gifts are documented, and the guest of honor swoons over all of her friends and family members’ thoughtful gifts.

Is it rude to excuse myself from the games portion of the gathering? 

Participation is well-mannered fun. If you don’t want to be involved, make yourself busy and assist the host with something they will appreciate. Clear the table, rinse the plates, (don’t make noise), refresh beverages, etc. 

Must mothers attend every shower and bring a gift each time?

Yes. Every party is a new celebration. Anyone, even your mother, brings a gift to a different event. The gift can be small, thoughtful, and simple.

Is hosting a Tea Party the same as hosting a shower?

However you break the scone, if it includes a registry, it’s called a shower!

You may also like Wedding Shower Etiquette Q&A for Spring & Summer.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

I’ve had several people reach out with a similar question: “Can I invite someone to the wedding shower if they aren’t invited to the wedding?” 

From an etiquette perspective, the answer is straightforward, but there is always more to cover. Keep reading for my best wedding shower etiquette advice. 

Q: We’re planning a small wedding, but there are several friends I’d like to include in the pre-wedding festivities, specifically, my wedding shower. Is this acceptable, and how can I explain the circumstances without hurting their feelings? 

A: Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! I understand your heart is bigger than your guest list, and you wish to share the joy with your expanded circle. That said, etiquette would dictate that it’s not polite to invite someone to a pre-wedding event if they are not invited to the wedding itself.

Let’s take a closer look at the reasoning behind this advice. Showers are traditionally hosted to celebrate and “shower” the couple with gifts in anticipation of the wedding. Inviting someone to a shower but not the wedding can:

• Make guests feel like they’re good enough to give a gift, but not attend the main event.
• Create hurt feelings or social awkwardness.
• Appear gift-driven, even if that’s not the intention.

From a modern manners lens, consideration and emotional awareness outweigh technical rules.

Are there any other options to include others? 

When the wedding is small (destination, immediate family, etc.), it’s best to keep pre-wedding events equally intimate. If friends and family who aren’t on the guest list kindly insist on celebrating the happy couple, a few alternatives to consider may be: 

• A no-gifts brunch
• A celebratory tea or cocktail gathering
• A post-wedding casual get-together

What if a separate shower is already in the works? 

Well-meaning coworkers or friends may have let their excitement for you lead the way. It’s more common than you might think! However, if you’re just not comfortable with a separate gathering, keep this in your bridal pocket: “That is so incredibly kind of you. Because the wedding is so small, I’m trying to keep everything very intimate. I wouldn’t feel comfortable having a shower with guests who won’t be able to attend the wedding.”

Best wishes on your bridal plans and big day! Good friends will understand your heart and respect your wishes. 

You may also like Answering Your Wedding Shower Etiquette Questions.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on herPinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

If this sounds like your cup of tea, today’s post is packed full of inspiration for a themed celebration. Of course, you will want to choose a theme that feels just right for your close circle. Here is my “menu” for this year’s Galentine’s Tea.

Roll the Tape – Watch the Show or Read the Book with Your Besties

Admittedly, when I went back to rewatch “Alice in Wonderland” to get some ideas and inspiration, I was a little shocked. I was not as overwhelmed with the childhood awe I remember as a kid. I found the snarky Queen of Hearts and her incessant slogan, “Off with their heads!” inappropriate for any age viewer. Using a little flamingo as a mallet and a hedgehog as a ball when she played croquet was not only shocking but offensive to me as well, being a lover of all furry friends. However, there were also many charming things about the story that I still found enjoyable.

Whatever movie you choose, you may want to incorporate a movie time or a storybook into the conversation.

Here are a few more ideas for a kinder and friendlier Alice in Wonderland Brunch.

Saving Grace – Make it Polite and Upbeat

Alice was darling and put the queen and many other characters in their place, urging them to be polite and kind. I especially loved Sammy Davis in the 1985 version of Alice, playing the caterpillar. His dance moves were delightful and entertaining. Focus your conversation on happy thoughts and steer clear of any form of details that are not yours to share (aka Gossip). 

The Anticipation Begins with the Invitation

Even though you are inviting your closest friends, making them feel special from the very first moment matters. Whether it’s a digital invite or a more elaborate invitation, the tone will be set with the first request to attend your gathering. Be specific if you have any particular requests, such as “potluck” or “wear pink”.

Not Necessary to Recreate the Entire Story

If you are doing a themed fairy tale, and you don’t necessarily care for all of the details, pick a few key elements you enjoy about the movie of choice, such as the red hearts from the Queen of Hearts, white turned red roses, the stack of teacups and playing cards, and create a theme for the table.

Encourage Humor

Ask each guest to dress their favorite part, or simply dress for Galentine’s Day, which, in this case, will lend itself to the theme of the party naturally. Your guests should feel festive, as opposed to competitive and overwhelmed. If a guest says they aren’t comfortable in any type of costume, honor their feelings and have some simple props they can put on to feel in the spirit without feeling uncomfortable and pressured. Red lipstick, heart earrings, and crowns are fun and easy to share – new and unused. 

Focus on the Table

Use your favorite china and don’t hesitate to mix and match. Reach for tea cups to serve soup, or set out appetizers in the tiny cups for your guests to enjoy when they arrive. Make the table interesting with things you already have around your home. 

For the Alice Theme – Use Playing Cards as Accents

A budget-friendly and multi-purpose decoration, playing cards are right on theme, and most of us have a few decks in a drawer. You could also print some cute Alice-themed decorations from Etsy or your favorite artist. It feels good to support small creators. 

Intentional Photo Moments 

In this era of social media, we know everyone will want photos to keep or post (true for me as well). I love the idea of keeping photo or video moments intentional with a sweet backdrop or a few minutes to grab footage before the fun begins. After the photo opp, encourage guests to put their phones on pause as they savor the conversation and food. 

Hearts for Dessert 

Whether you have a disposable heart-shaped cake tin in your kitchen, or if you have a fancy oven-friendly tin to cook your dessert, Galentine’s Day Tea is sweeter with a heart-shaped sweet. Cookies from your local grocer, or from scratch, all taste the same when enjoyed with a favorite tea.  

Sweet Take Away

Some of the sweetest memories happen before your party when you handmake party favorites and put them in gift bags for your friends to take home. If you aren’t especially crafty (I get it!), and you are taking the Alice in Wonderland theme as your own, share a package of paper cocktail napkins, a gold key, a small mirror (“looking glass”), some cocoa and cups, or anything that doesn’t require a paintbrush.

Happy Galentine’s Day!

You may also like Warm Hearts, Thoughtful Gifts: Valentine’s Day Ideas Among Friends

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

See what Diane is up to by following her on Instagram and Facebook and find etiquette inspiration on her Pinterest account. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, refer to her posts on Inc. and HuffPost. 

Yours for the Taking 

We all have our favorites when it comes to hotel freebies, and my pick is the high-quality, beautifully scented tiny bottle of body lotion that is part of the complimentary goodies that are already built into the cost of the room.

Other items guests may enjoy taking with them include the tiny bottle of shampoo, and conditioner, teeny soap that makes your carry-on smell delightful, and an assortment of sealed items like cotton balls, a sewing kit, and other items that don’t appeal to me, but are there should the need arise. 

Note pads, postcards, the hotel logo pen, and plastic dry cleaning bags are other things guests are welcome to pack when leaving if they find themselves in need of a water repellent bag for their shoes, or a note pad to take inventory of all the items they wish to order when they get home. 

Specialty coffee pods and tea bags are also popular if you want to enjoy the complimentary tea offered during your stay. 

Please Leave Behind 

The coffee maker is not on the complimentary list, regardless of how tiny it may seem on the counter.

Tempting but straight up theft are the plush, cozy robes, fluffy monogrammed beach towels, umbrellas, and darling little tea cups, spoons, and the teapot that came with your afternoon room service. I’ve often researched buying a set of my own at a more reasonable price than from the hotel.

Cocktail books are also off limits. Bath towels, hangers, and pillows are also a big “don’t”.  If it’s bolted to the wall or hanging from a wire, it’s a definite no. The toiletries you are given are complimentary, and not the same as the ones that are refillable in the shower, or the candle still in the packaging that is displayed somewhere away from the freebies.

Play It Safe 

Confusing items are the bottled water (unless it says complimentary), snacks not designated in the area you would think would be for charge at the mini bar, such as chips, candy, and mini bottles of bubbly, and linen laundry bags in the closet that are quite charming with a beautiful monogram on the front – still not free.

A Good Rule of Thumb

If there is a basket waiting for you, with your name on it, and a note from the hotel, the items are yours for the taking. 

Be a Gracious Guest 

If you find you have accidentally packed a table lamp and your conscience has gotten the best of you, you can always call the front desk and say, “Hey, I packed a couple of beach towels, and a duvet cover, would you like me to return them?” Often the answer is yes, and sometimes, no, but you never know until you ask, and you will feel better when the guilt of the offense is out in the open.

Most anything is likely available for purchase if you ask the management, but taking it without permission may result in an additional credit card charge at the end of your stay. The hotel staff does notice when things go missing; one towel adds up when every guest accidentally takes the fluffy new items, or the towel warmer off the bathroom wall.

You may also like Travel Etiquette: How to Be a Polite Hotel Guest.

For more information about working with Diane, America’s “Go To” social and professional etiquette authority, please visit The Protocol School of Texas. 

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