Dotty Says

Happy Mother's Day 2014

2014-05-11T08:37:00.004-04:00

Did Dotty Survive Alzheimer's?

2013-06-29T01:00:00.000-04:00

Dorothy DeMarco went to Heaven on May 25, 2012. She would have been 97 years old today.

Read Did Dotty Survive Alzheimer's

+Bob DeMarco

+Alzheimer's Reading Room

Dotty said, "That Woman is an Ass"

2013-06-21T09:54:00.003-04:00

Read this story about Dotty and her can do it attitude here --http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2013/06/dotty-said-that-woman-is-ss.html

Dotty
March, 2012
95 years old

When Dotty Went to Heaven She Had Learned Her Final Life Lesson

2012-07-01T08:30:00.000-04:00

Dotty was always convinced she could take "care" of herself, and then something changed.

Dorothy DeMarco
95 Years Old

Dorothy Olive DeMarco was born on June 29, 1916. She went to Heaven on May 25, 2012. Today is Dotty's birthday, she would have been 96 years old.

I was convinced for thirty years that Dotty would live to be more than one hundred years old. I did waver on this a bit when Alzheimer's disease came into our lives.

Around 2004, I came to a very different conclusion. I started to believe that Dotty would go to Heaven if and only if she learned the most important lesson of her life.

I can say that with the exception of her brain, Dotty was a "healthy old broad". She told this to everyone that would listen right up until very close to the end.

Continued on the Next Page

In Loving Memory of Dorothy DeMarco (1916-2012)

2012-05-26T12:32:00.000-04:00

Produced by Kristen Totaro (Dotty's granddaughter)

In Memory of Dorothy DeMarco

Dotty

2012-05-25T16:55:00.001-04:00

Produced by Kristen Totaro (Dotty's granddaughter)

Dorothy Olive DeMarco, 1916 - 2012

2012-05-25T10:42:00.001-04:00

"The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest."

~ Thomas Moore

Dorothy O. DeMarco

Dorothy O. DeMarco born June 29, 1916 died at 5 AM, May 25, 2012.

She is survived by her two sons F. William and Robert DeMarco, her daughter Joanne Totaro, her three grandchildren Stasia, Kristen, and Chad, and two great grandchildren Ryan and Kaitlyn.

Dorothy was a good old girl.

Amen.

Dotty the Artist

2012-03-27T14:10:00.002-04:00

Once again, and as usual, all I can say is, more there. I really didn't expect to see what I saw.

Original content Bob DeMarco, Dotty Says

'We Back Pat" Movement and Billboard Takes it to the Streets

2012-03-14T10:13:00.001-04:00

'We Back Pat" Movement and Billboard Takes it to the Streets

http://ping.fm/mhrF5

Dotty Sings Letter, Discusses Poop

2012-02-14T08:36:00.002-05:00

I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter

Alzheimer's Reading Room

Dotty Sings briefly, "I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter"

"I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter" was first recorded and made popular by Fats Waller in 1935.

Dotty was listening to the music channel, and when this song came on she started singing. I was caught off guard so I only caught a snippet. What do you think?

_____________________________________________

Dotty Needs to Poop

Dotty can be graphic in the use of her words and descriptions. She "needs to use the toilet in this one". Comments?

_____________________________________________

Dotty's Says, I'm Not Dead Yet You Dipshit

2012-01-29T15:22:00.000-05:00

Persons living with Alzheimer's don't want your pity, they want your help, understanding, and love.

By Dorothy DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Dotty Einstein

My name is Dorothy DeMarco. You can call me Dot. I'm 95 years old and according to my son Bobby, I have Alzheimer's disease.

I'm not suffering from Alzheimer's disease, I have Alzheimer's disease.

Before we get started, do you see that picture on the left? Bobby says we have to use that picture in this article because I will be giving all of you some insight and advice about persons living with Alzheimer's.

Bobby calls the picture, Dotty Einstein. He claims that calling me Einstein is a compliment. Bobby's mind does work in mysterious ways. Here is what I think about the picture. Kiss my ass Bobby.

Now for the insight and advice. Please read this carefully.

I'm not dead.

You can't catch Alzheimer's from a person living with Alzheimer's.

And, we want to be treated like we are living, breathing, human beings.

Please read those words every day until they sink in.

For some reason when people find out I have Alzheimer's, they assume I'm dying. Well according to Bobby I was diagnosed more than seven years ago. I'm not dead yet.

Here is something you should understand. We are all dying. Some people die young, some people die old. Do you live your life while thinking, I'm gonna die?

I'm not dead yet you dipshit.

Just this week I am munching away on some delicious chocolate covered potato chips. Carole Larkin sent those to us. Thank you Carole. Carole must know that I am still alive.

On New Years Eve, Bobby is talking me downtown to see the fireworks at midnight. I must still be alive because we are going.

I don't want to be treated like I am dying. I wanted to be treated the same way everyone is treated.

Sure, my brain is sick so you have to adjust. I would adjust if I could but I can't. So I am relying on you to adjust.

Persons living with Alzheimer's don't want your pity, they want your help, understanding, and love.

You should understand that persons living with Alzheimer's are a bit more fragile then they were before their brain became ill.

We tend to get confused more easily, and when we get confused we might get mean. Do you ever get confused and then get angry? Does this mean you are dying. I don't think so.

Please try and understand that we, the persons living with dementia, get more easily confused than you do. Don't get angry, please try and keep us out of situations where we might get confused.

No, I didn't say take our lives away from us so we won't get confused. We want to live. So, find a way to allow us to live along with everyone but try to keep in mind that we sometimes have special needs.

Dementia is dementia. So when a person is living with dementia there are symptoms of the illness. Read that word carefully, symptoms. We are not nuts.

Like Bobby says, our brains are a bit "fracted", fragmented so to speak. Some of the parts are broken. Learn which parts are broken, and please learn which parts are not broken. You might be surprised that many parts of our brain are still working just fine.

I do have a pet peeve. You know all those articles that include tips for the Holidays on how to deal with someone living with dementia? Does anyone ever think to look at these situations from the perspective of the person living with dementia? You might do better if you try looking at these situation from our point of view.

Give that some thought.

In closing. Some bad man said, "there are no survivors of Alzheimer's". That dipshit should come down here to Delray Beach and talk to me. Its crap like that that gets people all confused.

We are not dead. Sure, we will die someday and so will you.

In the meantime, lets start living our lives.

I want a cheese steak.

Dorothy DeMarco is a contributing writer and frequently portrayed character on the Alzheimer's Reading Room. Dotty resides in Delray Beach, FL. To read or subscribe to Dotty's blog go here.

Dotty Sings "Shine on Harvest Moon" and Talks to Parrot (video)

2012-01-29T15:21:00.001-05:00

Dotty performs live, and talks with Harvey the Parrot

Dotty is 95 years old and was diagnosed with probable Alzheimer's in 2004.

Original content the Alzheimer's Reading Room.

Original content Bob DeMarco, Dotty Says

Dotty Live, Ice Cream Time (Video)

2012-01-29T15:21:00.000-05:00

My name is Bob DeMarco, I am an Alzheimer's caregiver. The woman in the video is my mother Dorothy, now 95 years old, she has Alzheimer's disease.

Your comments and reactions are welcomed.

If you can't see the video go here.

Insight and Advice

60 Good Reasons to Subscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room

About the Alzheimer's Reading Room

Alzheimer's CareGiving -- Insight and Advice

Test Your Memory for Alzheimer's (5 Best Self Assessment Tests)

Communicating in Alzheimer's World

Worried About Alzheimer's Disease -- You Should Be

What is Alzheimer's? What are the Eight Types of Dementia?

Does the Combination of Aricept and Namenda Help Slow the Rate of Decline in Alzheimer's Patients

Alzheimer's Disease Statistics

Is it Really Alzheimer's or Something Else?

Ten Symptoms of Early Stage Alzheimer's

Ten Tips for Communicating with an Alzheimer’s Patient

Dotty Live, Ice Cream Time (Video)

Dotty Stars in Shut Up the Movie

2012-01-29T15:20:00.002-05:00

Dotty stars in her latest YouTube video -- Shut Up...

Alzheimer's Reading Room

In this short movie Dotty says Shut UP, mentions her buddy Harvey, the beloved cheese steak, and her birthplace -- south Philadelphia.

For those of you that are new. Dotty is 94 years old and has Alzheimer's. She was officially diagnosed in 2004.

Dotty was born in south Philadelphia in 1916. Dotty attended grammar school at Baldwin and Saint Monica's.

The video gets more interesting near the end.

Feel free to add your review or comments in the Add New Comment section below.

If you don't see the movie -- go here.

Feel free to share this movie by sending the link to family and friends using the share button, or via your email. Here is the link.

http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2011/04/shut-up-movie-starring-dotty.html

Original content Bob DeMarco, Dotty Says

Dotty Gets Herself Up and Into the Kitchen

2012-01-29T15:20:00.001-05:00

Dotty is clearly feeling better. However, we are not yet out of the woods. Dotty did surprise me this morning.

Dotty Talks to Parrot

2012-01-29T15:20:00.000-05:00

To listen to Dotty speaking to her new parrot -- go here.

Dotty and Parrot Sing Then Talk

2012-01-29T15:19:00.000-05:00

Dotty sings to Pete, with Pete and gets all tickled.

Dotty Does Addition, Wins a Buck, and Discusses Food

2012-01-29T15:18:00.000-05:00

In this Cinch Cast, Dotty does addition. Wins a buck on a lottery scratch off ticket. And wonders, what is an enchilada?

By Topic

Alzheimer's and Children

How the Loss of Memory Works in Alzheimer’s Disease, and How Understanding This Could Help You

Learning How to Communicate with Someone Suffering From Alzheimer's Disease

What is Alzheimer's Disease?

Alzheimer's World -- Trying to Reconnect with Someone Suffering from Alzheimer's Disease

Urinary Tract Infections, Urinary Incontinence, Poop (8 Articles)

What’s the Difference Between Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia

Generic Aricept (Donepezil) Clarification

Alzheimer's Disease, Types of Dementia, and What is the Difference Between Alzheimer's and Dementia

What Was the First Sign of Alzheimer's Disease in Your Case?

Alzheimer's Disease and the Five Stages of Grief

Alzheimer's Disease Caregiving Advice and Insight (20 articles)

Test Your Memory for Alzheimer's Disease (5 Best Self Assessment Tests)

Alzheimer's Disease Statistics

Alzheimer's Disease and Driving

Alzheimer's Caregiving Dealing with Behavior

What is Dementia?

Alzheimer's Disease -- The Front Row

The Plan to End Alzheimer's Disease by 2020 (Podcast)

Dotty, Pete, and Trying to Mail a Dog

2012-01-29T15:17:00.000-05:00

In this first podcast Dotty talks about Pete, her headache, and the pool -- go here.

In this second podcast Dotty talks about a woman who tried to mail a dog to her son -- go here.

Dotty Reads the Newspaper and Discusses Older Drivers

2012-01-29T15:16:00.000-05:00

Dotty reads from the Sun Sentinel and discusses whether or not older people are safe drivers.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T08:29:00.002-05:00

For somehow, not only at Christmas, but all the long year through,

The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you.

-- John Greenleaf Whittier

Alzheimer's Revelation, Live Your Life

2011-12-06T11:37:00.001-05:00

I decided that Dotty and I would start doing the things that we enjoyed doing together.

By Bob DeMarco

If you don't see the podcast go here.

Text version of this podcast.

This is Bob DeMarco founder of the Alzheimer’s Reading Room.com.

In the past few months, I did 33 television and radio interviews. These interviews helped me to refine my views on Alzheimer’s caregiving.

Often the interviewers want to know what tips I have for caregivers.

Everything I learned so far centers around one central theme. A single idea that came to me late one night.

I wrote my idea down on a pad. I wrote.

We will start living our life the way we always had.

I remember thinking at the time that this was an important Revelation.

Several years later, I now know and understand this is the single most important decision I ever made.

It was simple really. I decided that Dotty and I would start doing the things that we enjoyed doing together before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.

I thought this would be easy to execute. I soon learned that I was wrong.

As it turned out, most of the time when I suggested to Dotty that we go to the pool or something like that she would say NO. The first thing I had to do was work my way around this. It wasn’t easy. In fact, I gave up more than once.

It took more than a year for me to learn not to accept NO for an answer. At least another year to develop patterns that allowed us to do things -- even though Dotty was still saying NO.

This one thing keep me going. I knew what Dotty enjoyed doing. I knew what made her happy and I knew that most of these activities would benefit her. I was also hoping that by engaging in normal activities it would help slow the progression of the Alzheimer’s disease.

I started refusing to take NO for an answer.

Not in any mean spirited way. In fact, in a very gentle, loving, caring way. I learned how to smile when she said no, and how to talk in a low confident voice.

What I stopped doing was -- getting frustrated and all bent out of shape.

I learned how to take her by the hand, and lead. Interestingly and happily, she started to follow. Follow even while continuing to say NO.

Many of you saw the video where I take Dotty to the pool. You noticed she continued to say NO all the way to the pool, and even when she was starting to get into the pool.

I lead her there with a smile on my face. By holding her hand. And, by occasionally touching my head to her head and saying something positive in a very low loving caring voice. These days, Dotty usually smiles at me when I do this. That was not the case in the beginning.

It took me more than a year to get Dotty to the pool. And it took many months before I could get her into the water.

I finally learned a technique that worked. No cajoling. Just a constant reminder that she is going to enjoy what we are going to do. I hold her hand and I lead her through the steps it takes to reach our final objective.

The key word here. I lead. I lead with my hand and with my eyes wide open.

I learned this. You don’t need to try hard. You need to relax, be patient and lead.

Sooner or later they will follow your lead.

Remember this. If they enjoyed doing something before Alzheimer’s they will still enjoy that activity now.

Don’t forget to get on the yellow brick road. Ignore the wicked witch called Alzheimer’s disease. If you ignore the disease long enough you’ll find that sometimes it is not even there.

Be gentle. Lead.

Live your life.

Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room

Read More on the Alzheimer's Reading Room

Communicating in Alzheimer's World

What’s the Difference Between Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia

How the Loss of Memory Works in Alzheimer’s Disease, and How Understanding This Could Help You

Learning How to Communicate with Someone Suffering From Alzheimer's Disease

What is Alzheimer's Disease?

What is Dementia?

Alzheimer's World -- Trying to Reconnect with Someone Suffering from Alzheimer's Disease

Advice and Insight -- Alzheimer's Reading Room

Dementia and the Eight Types of Dementia

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T10:31:00.001-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving from Dotty and Bob

Alzheimer's Reading Room

Dotty Thanks Joanne for New Pajamas

2011-05-22T12:54:00.003-04:00

Does Dotty look sexy?

If you like this video click the YouTube link on the bottom of the video and then hit the Like Button (Thumbs Up).

You can also see additional Dotty videos on YouTube.

Original content Bob DeMarco, Dotty Says

Dotty Stars in Breakfast with Harvey

2011-05-21T09:11:00.002-04:00

Dotty is 94 years old and suffers from Alzheimer's disease. Harvey is a repeat parrot and right now is Dotty's best friend...

Harvey is also one of the 15 million Alzheimer's caregivers.

Dotty spends about two hours a day with Harvey. Harvey is very good at getting information out of Dotty. For example, she might tell him she has a "splitting headache". Most Alzheimer's patients are not very good at communicating this kind of information.

Enjoy the short video. You comments and observations are always welcome here.

Original content Bob DeMarco, Dotty Says