This, however, is not that day.

That was an exact copy of the show notes for our last episode. Show notes are hard. They can often take upwards of 30 minutes to write. And those are thirty sweet, sweet minutes I might have otherwise spent not writing. ‘Not writing’ is an activity I enjoy. Plus, I assume they go unread. Or, maybe not. Tell you what, if you’ve read this far, have noticed my show note plagiarism, and would like some new ones from here on out, let us know. Toss up a twit or comment and they’ll be back. It’ll be a Christmas miracle.

This is the “show notes” section for the podcast Genre Stop! The goal of the show note is to provide a concise textual description of the audio content of the attached podcast, as podcasts are an aural medium and many of the devices on which humans listen to podcasts do not have a feature by which podcast previews may be spoken aloud through an automated voice, even though (and this is important) the device does allow for the conveyance of sound (such as when someone plays a podcast, for instance). Show notes therefore need to be written down. Maybe someday, some wondrous far-off future day, there will exist a means by which podcast show notes can be just as audible as the podcast they are describing. And on that wonderful day, my great grand-daughter will dismount her trusty Hoversteed, call up the podcast app wired into her retina (and slightly visible to any curious bystander or time-traveling ancestor) as a nearly translucent milky presence flattened across her iris, and peruse the latest offerings. Say one tickles her fancy. Say it’s called “Your Daily Blorpball Update!” Well, she can just thoughtselect “Show Notes” at that moment and, as she’s walking into the Blorpball Arena, you better fucking believe it that her SecondMe implant will speak those notes to her.

This, however, is not that day.

Stick around for Genre Stop!’s fifteenth episode, as Bri and Scott discuss Neil Gaiman’s American Gods. Along the way, Bri abandons Natalie Portman at a Wal-Mart, they debate the merit of dream sequences, and Scott shields himself from the white hot heat radiating outwards from Bri’s undying loveflame for the novel.

Anyway, when dad got home he’d read City of Bones to me.

On Genre Stop!’s fourteenth episode, Bri and Scott revisit Cassandra Clare’s 2007 urban fantasy. Along the way, they discuss age-appropriate club drugs, invisible European countries, and the correct number of sequels.

Oh, wait. That’s baseball.

Tune in for Genre Stop!’s long-awaited thirteenth episode, as Bri and Scott pop an epic Mythago Wood for Robert Holdstock’s 1984 novel. Along the way, they debate the sexuality of dead actors, clear markers of genre writing, and Britain, pedophile incubator.

…

Guess what? Nothing in that previous story was actually true. It was an example of something humans call ‘alternate history.’ Alternate histories are stories about the Nazis winning the war. They can also be about any other thing in history being different than it was.

And Cold Magic itself, our book for the eleventh episode of Genre Stop!, just so happens to be one of these stories. Stick around, as Bri and Scott discuss ways not to let readers know about your character’s big breasts, various skimming strategies, and Scott’s suspect secondary world sexual ethics.

I mean, I don’t think I could. What are marshes? I guess it’s not exactly a swamp. Or is it? Either way, no one’s gonna do better than the dude in our book! He survives for a really long time!

On Genre Stop!’s tenth episode, Bri, Scott, and extra-special guest host Christina Jensen discuss Weir’s 2011 blockbuster, The Marshian. Along the way, they touch on Bri’s veiled obsession with The Edge, Scott’s continuing Jane Austen ignorance, and Christina’s teenaged encounter with that ceaseless Cerberus of male sci-fi fandom: chauvinism, condescension, and sexist hiring practices.

What we needed was a run-of-the-mill epic, with the same bland political intrigue, the same conniving highborn jetsetters, and the same Clausewitzian martial maneuvering that was also very very short.

Stay tuned for the ninth episode of Genre Stop!, in which Bri and Scott discuss all those things K.J. Parker’s Purple and Black has going for it beyond its 120 pages. Along the way, Bri invents a Jane Austen book, Scott solves morality, and they both conveniently look past Bri’s consistent ableism.

Now, that synopsis describes both Homeward Bound and The Assassin’s Apprentice, our book for this week. The latter has only slightly fewer dog scenes.

In this week’s Genre Stop!, Bri and Scott trawl through 500 pages of canine-based magic systems. Along the way, they discuss Bri’s thinly veiled desire for an abusive mentor, the lyrics of “No Scrubs,” and the interminability of fantasy Bildungsromane.

If you said Stephen Markley, Genre Stop!’s first-ever guest host, you’re right!

We also would have accepted ‘that strange alien antagonist in Peter Watts’s Blindsight,’ the book at the center of the newest episode. Oh well. Join Bri, Scott, and Stephen as they debate the literary function of the T junction, the mental health of torturers, and the role of honeycombs in othering aliens.

All of these words can describe The Lord of the Rings. We read a book about vampires called Agyar, though.

Tune in to this week’s Genre Stop!, as Bri and Scott tussle over a slim book that’s about either a suave lothario or a stone-cold undead killer. Along the way, they discuss the three tiers of vampire knowledge, Scott’s unhealthy fixation on early 90’s fashion, and Bri pretending not to know what Trueblood is.

What’s that? The goblin EMPEROR? We’re in!

In Genre Stop!’s fifth episode, Bri and Scott put that old saw to the test: power corrupts, absolute power goblin goblin. Along the way, they expose the scandal behind a pseudonym, work out the real-world equivalents of fantasy racial types, and unmask the recalcitrant royalist in their midst.

All of these candidates and more vie for the title of “Name of the Wind” in Patrick Rothfuss’ 2007 epic fantasy.

Which will it be?

In this episode of Genre Stop!, Bri and Scott power through 700 pages of ‘no-really-I-swear-this-isn’t-Hogwarts’ wizarding campus novel to spoil the answer. Along the way, they parse the parenting strategies of itinerant mummers, consider etymology’s place within magic systems, and bemoan the ubiquity of the manic-magic dreamgirl.

Whoa.

In Genre Stop’s third episode, Bri and Scott finally address their podcast’s growing gender disparity and review a book by a dude. Their discussion of Robert Jackson Bennett’s “City of Stairs” touches on anachronistic secondary worlds, realistic amounts of divine power, and Bri’s fixation with animated snowmen.

Bri and Scott keep their seats on that Ann-train in Genre Stop’s second episode, as they discuss Ann Leckie’s “Ancillary Justice.”

Along the way, they ponder the correct pronunciation of alien names, the appeal of an ungloved hand, and the difficulty of marking a spaceship’s gender.

They conclude with a discussion of the decades-old dragon-riding space romp that almost derailed the podcast before it even got started.

Welcome to Genre Stop! Each episode, Bri and Scott dissect a single piece of speculative fiction.

The catch?

While Bri is a long-time fan of the fantastic, Scott has always steered clear of the same. Until now.

Tune in every other Monday for new episodes!