How Stress Impacts Your Ability to Move Forward

When stress becomes chronic, it affects how you think and respond. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that prolonged stress can impair decision-making, reduce cognitive flexibility, and limit creativity—all of which are essential when navigating change.

Instead of moving forward, you may find yourself: Overthinking instead of acting, avoiding decisions, staying in roles that feel safe but unfulfilling, questioning your ability to learn something new This is where mindset becomes the turning point for true change.

Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset

Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on mindset provides a powerful framework. A fixed mindset believes: “This is just who I am.” “I’m either good at this or I’m not.” “Change is risky.” “I’m too old and technology is moving too fast.”

You're Not Starting Over-- You're Upgrading

One of the most powerful shifts you can make is this:  You are not starting from zero. You are building on: years of experience, hard-earned skills, relationships and perspective. Just think of some of the advice you give your kids. You’ve been in many of the situations they are facing. They may not listen to you, but you have the experience and insight to see roadblocks and warning signs. That perspective is extremely valuable.

What Actually Needs to Be Learned

One of the most important mindsets when approaching AI is to keep it simple and non-intimidating. You don’t need to become a tech expert—but you do need to become comfortable and capable. And while you may still get stuck at times, remember this: there is almost always a solution.

Let’s start with the basics—what AI can and can’t do.

AI can:

• generate ideas
• summarize information
• help you write and organize
• assist with planning and research

AI cannot:

• replace your judgment
• fully understand nuance the way you do
• build meaningful relationships
• define your purpose

When you understand this, the fear begins to fade. You’re not competing with AI—you’re learning how to use it effectively. You’re also maximizing the “human” element which cannot effectively be replaced by AI.

One of the most valuable skills you can develop for using AI is prompting. Simply put, better questions lead to better results. Ask clearly, provide context, and refine your requests as you go. The quality of your input directly shapes the quality of your output.

I recommend keeping track of prompts that work well and refining them over time. This becomes your personal library of thinking tools—and it’s where your experience really shines. You already know how to think. Now you’re learning how to direct that thinking through new tools. It’s also possible to develop your own GPT (this is the term when using ChatGPT) that draws on your own content to create any new material consistent with your voice and messaging.

What Progress Looks Like

Progress isn’t perfection. You don’t need to master AI—you simply need to engage with it. One of AI’s greatest strengths is content creation and repurposing. It can take one idea and turn it into multiple formats—posts, clips, podcasts, livestreams, and articles—helping you simplify your workflow and stay consistent.

Application: Moving Forward with Confidence

The biggest risk today isn’t using AI—it’s avoiding it. It’s easy to think, “I’ll figure it out later,” “I don’t have time,” or “This feels overwhelming.” Those thoughts are completely understandable—but they can also keep you stuck. Progress doesn’t come from waiting. It comes from taking one small step at a time. You don’t need to master AI. You simply need to engage with it.

Three: Visualizing Your Ideas

Creativity is not limited to words. Visual storytelling plays an increasingly important role in communication, whether through presentations, social media, online courses, or marketing materials. AI image tools now allow creators to generate illustrations, backgrounds, concept art, and visual metaphors within minutes. These visuals can help bring abstract ideas to life. One of the most important aspects of creating visuals is to have a specific prompt. Even though a GPT learns our style and voice, we still need to be very specific in our requests.

For instance, if you are explaining personal growth or career transition, you might generate an image of a mountain path, a bridge between two landscapes, or a sunrise over a new horizon. You can specify the style as impressionistic, minimalistic or even futuristic. These visuals reinforce your message and make it easier for audiences to connect emotionally with your ideas.

You no longer need advanced graphic design skills to create compelling imagery. AI tools make visual creativity accessible to anyone willing to experiment.

Four: Generating New Angles and Questions

Another valuable use of AI is brainstorming. Sometimes the biggest creative barrier is not a lack of ideas but a lack of perspective and specificity. AI can help expand your thinking by suggesting new angles, questions, or examples related to your topic. If you are writing an article, planning a course, or outlining a podcast episode, an AI assistant can generate multiple approaches that you may not have considered.

Five: Human Insight Remains the Differentiator

Despite all the technological excitement surrounding AI, the most important element in any creative endeavor remains human insight. AI can generate possibilities but meaning comes from interpretation. This element is extremely important to remember, especially in the arts and creative fields.

Two: Living on Purpose

Living on purpose means moving from reaction to intention. Instead of being driven by circumstances, emotions, or habits, we begin to make conscious choices about how we think, act, and respond. I have emphasized in my work how important core values are for purposeful living. If our values are clearly stated—both personal and professional—it becomes easier to align our purpose and forward momentum. (See the appendix of Stop Circling for focus on Core Values)

For many in mid-career or mid-life, this shift becomes essential. Life may no longer follow a predictable script. Careers change, children grow up, relationships evolve, and new questions emerge. Without intention, it’s easy to feel stuck or directionless. I have known many women who go through a period of “loss” when the kids move on out of the home on their own. Many relationships also shift when kids are grown with different goals and focus.

Dr. Jenkins emphasizes that awareness precedes choice. When we become aware of our thinking patterns, we can begin to choose differently. Living on purpose is not about controlling everything—it’s about taking ownership of how we respond to what we cannot control.

It also means aligning our actions with what matters most—which are our core values. Purpose is not something we discover once; it is something we continually create through daily decisions.

Three: Mindset in Transitions and Turning Points

Transitions often bring uncertainty, and uncertainty triggers the brain’s natural tendency toward fear and anxiety. We begin to imagine worst-case scenarios, and those imagined outcomes can feel just as real as actual events.

Dr. Jenkins explains that the mind operates in two key processes: evaluation and creation. Evaluation is how we judge what is happening right now. Creation is how we imagine what might happen next.

When we evaluate our circumstances as “bad,” we may experience discouragement or depression. When we imagine a negative future, we experience anxiety. These emotional states are not random—they are directly tied to how we think. However, this also means we can shift them.

By intentionally evaluating our current situation differently—acknowledging that it could be worse-- or identifying what is still working—we can move toward a sense of peace. By imagining positive possibilities for the future, we can cultivate hope instead of fear.

This is especially powerful during major life transitions. Whether starting a new career, launching a business, or redefining identity after years in a specific role, mindset becomes the foundation for forward movement.

Four: The Positivity Model and Midlife Application

A Surprising and Diverse Audience

Another remarkable aspect of The Chosen is the diversity of its audience. While many viewers come from Christian backgrounds, a substantial portion does not. According to the show’s producers, approximately one‑third of the global audience identifies as non‑religious.

This diversity suggests that the series has tapped into something larger than traditional faith‑based programming. It speaks to universal themes—identity, forgiveness, hope, belonging, and transformation.

In a cultural moment where many people feel disconnected from institutions, The Chosen presents a story centered on relationship and personal encounter. Viewers are drawn not only to the historical figure of Jesus but to the emotional journeys of the people around him. That narrative approach invites audiences from many backgrounds to engage with the story—even if they are encountering it for the first time.

Community Participation in the Story

One of the most fascinating aspects of The Chosen is the way its production has involved the audience itself. Crowdfunding campaigns have raised tens of millions of dollars across multiple seasons, demonstrating the passion and commitment of its supporters. (Deseret News) But financial contributions are only part of the story.

Faith Based Media in a Changing Cultural Landscape

The success of The Chosen also reflects a broader shift happening in the entertainment industry. For decades, faith‑based content was often treated as a niche category. But streaming platforms and digital distribution have changed that dynamic. Independent creators now have direct access to audiences without needing traditional studio approval.

How to Build Values with Faith as a Foundation

The author David Barton frequently describes two different worldviews. One is a biblical worldview and the other is a secular, humanistic worldview. A biblical worldview begins with the belief that God exists as Creator and moral authority, and that truth is objective because it is grounded in His character and revealed in Scripture. In this framework, human beings possess inherent dignity because they are created in the image of God, and rights are understood to be God-given rather than granted by government. As Barton explains in his book, Original Intent: The Courts, the Constitution, and Religion this perspective holds that government’s primary role is to secure pre-existing, God-given rights rather than redefine them. This worldview is what much of our U.S. Constitution is based upon.

By contrast, a secular or humanistic worldview locates authority primarily in human reason, culture, or collective consensus rather than divine revelation. Truth and morality are often viewed as relative, shaped by societal development and evolving ethical frameworks. Human dignity is grounded in shared humanity or social contract rather than divine image-bearing, and rights are typically understood as constructed or defined through political systems and legal agreements. James W. Sire, in his book, The Universe Next Door, describes secular humanism is the belief that reality is explained only by the natural world, and that human beings themselves decide what is right, meaningful, and purposeful.

To build values with faith as a foundation, we begin by anchoring our decisions in the belief that truth is not self-created but discovered through alignment with God’s character and principles. A faith-based framework reminds us that every person carries inherent dignity, that leadership is stewardship rather than dominance, and that integrity matters even when unseen. Instead of reacting to cultural shifts alone, we evaluate choices through enduring standards—asking not merely “What works?” but “What is right?” This is why our core values are so important. (see Appendix in Stop Circling) When faith shapes our worldview, our values become consistent, compassionate, and purpose-driven, influencing how we lead, serve, build organizations, and shape the future with both conviction and humility.

Process of Making Wise Decisions

Making wise decisions begins with anchoring ourselves in our core values — especially when faith, dignity, integrity, growth, and stewardship form that foundation. Instead of reacting emotionally or impulsively, we pause and ask: Does this align with who we say we are? If we’ve not done that, it’s time to do it now.

Application

Any time my allergies start really kicking in, I realize our home’s filters probably need changed. We have two main filters and when replacing, it’s amazing how much dirt is on them. This is a good illustration on how defining our worldview and regularly reviewing our core values filters decisions that would otherwise be clouded and unclear, just like those dirty filters.

In an inflationary environment, consumer debt becomes more dangerous. Why? Because interest rates often rise alongside inflation. That means carrying balances on credit cards or loans becomes more expensive over time. Also, that new boat or car purchased a year ago are now quickly depreciating and become a heavier burden to carry as prices continue to fluctuate.

Consumer debt quietly erodes financial stability. It reduces flexibility, increases stress, and limits your ability to invest or adapt.

The key principle: debt should serve you—not trap you.

Start by identifying high-interest debt and prioritizing it. Even small, consistent progress creates momentum. A simple way to apply this right now is to pause and review your current debt: ask yourself, Is this helping me grow or just costing me money? Focus first on paying down high-interest debt like credit cards, while being intentional about any new debt you take on—making sure it supports something meaningful (like a business, home, or skill) rather than impulse spending. When you shift from automatic borrowing to purposeful use, you move from feeling trapped to being in control of your financial direction.

Debt consolidation—or bundling debt—is a strategy that combines multiple debts into one payment. Benefits include:
• Simpler financial management
• Potentially lower interest rates
• Clearer payoff structure

But here’s the key: consolidation without behavior change doesn’t solve the problem. The goal is not just to organize debt—but to eliminate it strategically.

Another important principle is not to become emotionally attached to financial relationships or products. Too many people stick with the same insurance, investments, or advisors simply because it feels comfortable. But comfort is not a strategy.

Your financial life needs regular evaluation:
• Are your insurance policies still appropriate?
• Are your investments aligned with your goals?
• Are you paying for things you no longer need?

Objectivity is a powerful financial skill. Don’t ignore this regular evaluation.

Practical Steps You Can Take Now

Here are simple, actionable steps you can implement immediately:

1. Track Your Spending: Clarity creates control. Know where your money is going.

Structure Creates Freedom

Gratitude flourishes when it is practiced consistently. Just as physical strength requires regular movement, emotional strength requires intentional reflection. I’ve already shared my implementation of a one-sentence gratitude statement, but I’d like to encourage you to go even further.

Small daily habits create powerful momentum. Here are some ways: Morning reflection: Before reaching for your phone, name three things you’re grateful for. If writing them down helps you, make that a habit. But that’s not necessary. They do not need to be dramatic. A good night’s sleep. A warm cup of coffee. The quiet of early morning are all things we can be grateful for and helps us look outward and upward.

Journaling is always a good practice and just a few sentences each day anchors your thoughts. Writing slows the mind and solidifies perspective. In fact, I often tell others to leave their stress on the page by writing it down. It’s especially impactful if you can then crinkle up that page full of stress and throw it away!

For verbal appreciation, express thanks directly to someone each day. Call them up or get together personally. Gratitude multiplies when shared. And it’s catching! In the evening before sleeping, ask, “Where did I see goodness today?” This practice trains your brain to scan for positive evidence. And the results may be more positive than you can imagine, especially if prone to sleeplessness by re-living events not so positive. These habits are not complicated, but they are transformative. Structure supports a healthy mindset. And mindset influences behavior.

Letting Go of the Little Irritations

Often, it is not the major crises that steal our peace. It is the accumulation of small irritations such as traffic delays, slow internet, a curt email, an offhand comment or misplaced keys. These minor frustrations quietly erode our joy if left unchecked.

Freedom From the Need to Control

Another hidden source of stress is our desire to control outcomes. We want conversations to go a certain way. We want plans to unfold smoothly. We want recognition when we believe it is deserved. For those who have raised a family and now have adult kids, there is the control of keeping our mouth shut as they make their own decisions! When expectations collide with reality, frustration surfaces.

Healthy relationships thrive on appreciation. When we consistently focus on what others are doing wrong, connection deteriorates. When we express gratitude for effort, loyalty, and shared history, bonds deepen. This applies in most every situation and especially with family relationships.

A simple thank-you carries tremendous power. I have made a habit of writing small personal notes for years. It’s usually unexpected and welcomed by the recipient and brings me joy to send without expectation.

Gratitude also softens difficult conversations. It frames correction within respect. It balances honesty with affirmation. It’s similar to what’s known as the “Feedback Sandwich” when starting with the positive and then inserting correction or a difficult truth.

When irritation arises within relationships, pause and ask: “What do I appreciate about this person?” That question alone can prevent unnecessary conflict or at least soften the difficult message.

Freedom through gratitude is not a one-time decision. It is a daily practice of release of resentment, comparison, minor irritations and the illusion of total control. All of that is replaced with thankfulness, perspective and patience. It’s an intentional choice.

Application: Gratitude as a Lifestyle

Finding freedom through gratitude is not about ignoring difficulty. It is about choosing strength over resentment, awareness over autopilot, and peace over perpetual irritation.

As we apply this, we can build on these principles. When we forgive, we lighten our emotional load, just like dropping heavy weights. When we train our mindset, we reshape our reality, similar to staying within boundaries of an African game reserve. When we build grateful habits, we strengthen resilience, just as consistent rehearsal for a stage show. When we let small irritations go, we preserve joy, keeping the main focus right in front of us.

Gratitude is a daily discipline that creates long-term freedom. And perhaps the greatest freedom of all is this: no matter what circumstances bring, we retain the power to choose our response. That choice is the quiet strength that carries us forward.

Clarify Your Purpose

Deborah did not train simply to say she trained. She trained because she had a compelling reason to attempt the swim. Purpose fuels endurance. Without purpose, difficulty feels pointless. With purpose, difficulty becomes meaningful.

For mid-career professionals or those at halftime in life, purpose is not about proving something to the world. It is about aligning your gifts, experience, and passion with a clear direction. When purpose is strong, intimidation weakens because it answers the question, “Why does this matter?”.

Purpose also clarifies what not to pursue. In a culture of comparison, we are tempted to chase every opportunity that others celebrate. But owning your lane means recognizing where you uniquely thrive and committing to that path—even if it looks different from someone else’s.

Create Measurable Goals

One of the key lessons from Deborah’s journey is the power of measurable goals. Vague dreams produce vague effort. Clear targets produce focused action.

A goal like “get in shape” lacks direction. A goal like “swim five days a week for 90 minutes” creates structure. The same applies in business and life transitions. “Grow my influence” is abstract. “Publish one article per week for six months” is measurable.

Measurable goals serve three purposes:

1. They reduce overwhelm by breaking ambition into clear benchmarks.
2. They provide feedback so you can adjust your strategy.
3. They build confidence as you track progress.

Confidence isn’t built overnight—it develops through repeated proof that you can follow through on what you start. This is especially vital in today’s rapidly advancing AI landscape. By approaching change step by step and valuing your existing skills and experience, you strengthen your ability to adapt and grow. I explore this further in my book Power of After.

Overcoming Challenges Through Training

Purpose is the Anchor that Makes Flexibility Possible

One of the greatest gifts of the Power of After season of life is perspective.  You’ve lived enough life to know what drains you, what energizes you and what you no longer want to prove or do. This is where clear purpose becomes essential.

Purpose isn’t a slogan. It’s not a vague sense of “doing something meaningful” or even “legacy building.” Purpose is a through-line. It should be carried through how you spend your time, energy and resources. Purpose includes:

• A problem you care about solving
• A group you feel called to serve
• A contribution you want your work to make

When your purpose is clear, you don’t need to micromanage your life. So why is that true? Because purpose becomes your compass. It’s the clear focus that points you in the right direction. It’s like the clear command we give to Siri that’s not confusing or misleading.

If an opportunity aligns with your purpose, you can say yes. If it doesn’t, you can say no—without guilt or feeling like you’re missing out. If life interrupts your schedule because of a family issue, health issue or any other matter, you can step away—because you know where you’re headed when you return. A clear purpose reduces anxiety because it replaces urgency with direction that’s confident and well-thought out.

Core Values: The Quiet Decision Makers

If purpose is the compass, core values are the guardrails that guide that purpose. The appendix in my book “Stop Circling” covers core values in a way that is practical and extremely impactful. Core values show up repeatedly in our lives across many different situations—through our relationships, whether stable or changing; family commitments; how we structure our schedules; the type of work we choose to support our desired lifestyle; and, of course, how we spend our time and money. Those values should be reviewed often.

A Schedule that Serves Life

One of the most practical—and overlooked—ways to live focused without being rigid is through intentional scheduling. Many people schedule tasks. Very few schedule values. This is an area I am constantly aware of in my life since I’m so project-driven. Planning ahead with intentionality really helps me balance this in many ways. An aligned schedule reflects priorities, protects energy and allows for rest without guilt. When I’ve put in hard work and find myself exhausted, I can be guilt-free taking a cat-nap. Taking even an unexpected break doesn’t mean abandoning structure. It means designing it differently.

Systems are not about control. They’re about continuity. And they are not boring! Healthy systems:

• Carry momentum when you step away—. This is very freeing for those of us who are in the “travel years.” I have worked hard to structure my systems to be able to easily keep momentum going while traveling, even for weeks without a blip. And it’s a joy to share those systems with others, several I’ve shared in the Power of After book.
• Healthy systems reduce decision fatigue and overwhelm.
• Solid and simple systems free your mind for higher-level thinking.

A healthy system can include a weekly rhythm or schedule for communication or content, automation for routine tasks, which can also be given to a virtual assistant. Clear boundaries around availability and content and processes that’s easily accessible without you.

The goal is not to remove yourself from meaningful work. The goal is to remove yourself from everything that doesn’t require you to be always present. When systems are in place, breaks are no longer disruptions. They’re built into the design. You can rest, travel, reflect—or simply breathe—without anxiety, because you’ve created something sustainable.

You stop proving your hard work and you start stewarding. In the Bible, a steward is someone entrusted with managing what belongs to another. The Greek word most often used in the New Testament is oikonomos, meaning a household manager or administrator—one responsible for overseeing property, resources, or responsibilities on behalf of the owner. For us as stewards, we manage what we have been given personally and professionally, which includes skills, experience and resources.

Stewardship is a hallmark of the Power of After season. This is not a season of doing less because you can’t do more. It’s a season of doing what matters—on purpose with the incredible bank of skills and resources you’ve accumulated.

Application: Focused, Not Rigid

If you’re feeling stretched, tired, or quietly resistant to the pace you’ve been keeping, consider this question: Where have I confused rigidity with commitment or a strong work ethic? And then this one: What would it look like to trust clear directions more than control?

I tend to slip into backseat-driver mode—even when I’m sitting in the front seat. Sometimes we simply need to relax, trust that the directions are handled, and let the journey unfold. You don’t need a total overhaul. You need alignment. If a car is out of alignment, you can feel it pull to one side or another. You need clarity of purpose grounded in core values. Then you need a mindset that allows rest and systems that support continuity. That combination creates a life that moves forward—even when you pause.

The goal is not a perfectly optimized life. The goal is a well-oriented life. One where you know why you’re doing what you’re doing. One where your work supports your life, not consumes it. One where you can enjoy the moment and trust the directions. In other words, it’s focused, not rigid and that’s the Power of After!