Deborah Johnson

From Brokenness to Purpose

Deborah Johnson — Fri, 13 Nov 2026 13:10:45 +0000

We can arrive at halftime in life with plenty of experience and a surprisingly heavy suitcase. Along with our skills and accomplishments, we carry disappointments, regrets, words we wish someone had never said, and a few words we wish we could take back. Unfortunately, emotional baggage does not come with wheels. We drag it into relationships, decisions, and the next chapter of our work.

Today we’re talking about moving from brokenness to purpose by developing practical life tools: rebuilding our sense of worth, forgiving others and ourselves, and recognizing when blame has become a place we live. We cannot rewrite every experience. We can begin choosing how we respond and what we build from here.

That is a central message of my book, MOVE BEYOND: From Brokenness to Purpose. “Beauty isn’t found in what was never broken—it’s revealed in what has been restored.” Restoration takes more than an inspiring sentence. It asks us to notice what needs attention and do the work of rebuilding, one honest choice at a time. In this article (show) we are covering mindsets and actions that can help you move forward.

When a Difficult Experience Becomes an Identity

There is a difference between saying, “Something painful happened to me,” and deciding, “This is all I will ever be.” A failed business, an unhealthy relationship, rejection, or our own poor decision can leave a mark. The trouble begins when that mark becomes the label through which we interpret everything else and we wear it like a badge.

Being harmed is real. Naming it matters, and responsibility belongs with the person who caused the harm. Moving forward does not require minimizing what happened or accepting responsibility for someone else’s behavior. It begins with a different question: “Given what happened, what support, protection, or next step do I need today?” That question helps you take your next step without dismissing what you’ve been through.

In MOVE BEYOND, I explore how beliefs shape values and values shape lives. If we believe we are permanently damaged, we may make choices that keep us small. We can pretend we have this strong outer shell like a tortoise and only peek our head out when it feels safe. If we begin recognizing our worth and capacity to grow, we can choose a response that serves the person we are becoming and be fully present.

Rebuild Self-Esteem with Truth and Practice

Low self-esteem can sound remarkably convincing. Our self-talk may tell us, “You always mess things up,” or “Everyone else has something you don’t—you’re just not measuring up.” We might never speak that way to a friend, yet we give our own inner critic unlimited microphone time. Apparently, just like that little “Ever-ready” commercial, it keeps going and going and rarely needs to recharge its battery.

One useful tool is a simple three-column page. In the first column, write the thought: “I have nothing valuable to offer.” In the second, write the evidence you are overlooking: a skill you developed, a problem you solved, or someone you helped. In the third, write a more accurate statement: “I have experience I can use, and I can develop the skills I still need.”

What this does is help to change the self-talk, the language. The goal is an honest assessment. You want to be real. You honestly may need training or more education in a certain area. Maybe you’ve made a mistake or a misjudgment. Neither of those erases your worth. I strongly believe our worth begins with being created and loved by God; we were created on purpose. Our worth doesn’t rise and fall with applause, with our 15 minutes of fame, with productivity, or even the number of people who like our posts!

Changing our self-talk is the first step, then comes the hard work of putting new and revised beliefs into practice. Making lists are short-term fixes but putting beliefs into practice is a long-term project—and that’s the mindset here. But you have to start. Begin with one specific commitment or task. Changing a response or habit takes consistency with tiny steps that are not overwhelming. Those small steps eventually lead to larger steps.

The practical side of this is to finish a small task, sign up for a course and actually start the course, or practice a new skill or hobby for fifteen minutes. Set your timer, then record what you did. Over time, those specific tasks give you something concrete to remember when the old self-criticism returns. Choose a commitment you can actually keep, rather than creating a heroic schedule that collapses by the second or third day.

Forgive Others While Keeping Wise Boundaries

Forgiveness can be especially difficult when someone has never apologized. We may keep waiting for that person to understand the damage before we allow ourselves to move forward. But the reality is that person may never come to that realization. Meanwhile, the same conversation plays in our minds, complete with the brilliant response we finally thought of—and it’s now three years later.

Consider writing an unsent letter. Name what happened, how it affected you, and what you wish had been different. Then identify a boundary you need now. Perhaps you will limit contact, stop discussing a certain subject, or decline a request that repeatedly leaves you depleted. Then, either keep the letter private or just destroy it. Only send it there’s a chance for true restoration with that person and if it’s worth it.

Forgiveness does not automatically restore trust or require reconciliation. Trust depends on behavior over time, and boundaries can remain in place. You can pursue forgiveness while also pursuing emotional safety and appropriate accountability. Of course, if any physical harm is ongoing, getting protection and support is a meaningful next step; this is not about maintaining contact with someone unsafe.

For me, prayer, along with journaling offers a place to bring resentment honestly to God. It’s actually releasing. Sometimes I just have to honestly say, “I am willing to be open to forgiveness.” That may be all I can do, at least for awhile. Forgiveness may involve returning to those words many times. Remembering the way you were hurt does not mean you have failed. It gives you another opportunity to choose how you will respond today.

Forgive Yourself without Avoiding Responsibility

Self-forgiveness can be harder because we know all the details of what happened, especially if we’re honest with ourselves. We remember what we said, what we ignored, and the decision we would make differently now. It’s a human instinct to sometimes speak before we really think it through! I’ve definitely done this! Regret can point us toward repair, but repeated self-condemnation can leave us doing very little except replaying the mistake over and over in our minds.

Here are three questions that will help us move forward:

What was mine to own?
What can I repair?
What will I do differently? (If there’s a next time)

Be specific. “I interrupted and dismissed someone” offers a clearer path than “I am a terrible person.” This may sound minor, but taking that ownership is important. You can apologize for interrupting. That doesn’t cost anything but a bit of our price. You can listen without defending yourself. Sometimes a criticism from someone else bounces right back to them! One of my favorite sayings is, “It all comes back around!” You can practice a different response in the next conversation.

An apology does not obligate the other person to forgive you or resume the relationship. We all know this. But it’s important for us. Make the repair you can, respect their response, and follow through on changed behavior on your end. Where repair is impossible, choose a responsible action that reflects what you learned. Self-forgiveness means allowing yourself to be real and to live beyond the mistake while continuing to own its consequences.

I’m coming back to faith because it reminds me that grace leaves room for repentance, forgiveness and a new beginning. We can accept that invitation without pretending our choices did not matter. Carrying a lesson forward is useful. Carrying a lifetime sentence of self-hatred does not make the lesson more valuable. It only increases the victimhood mindset.

Recognize when Blame Becomes a Permanent Address

Most of us have had moments when blaming someone else felt easier than examining our next move. The concern is when that response becomes habitual such as: “I would be successful if they had supported me.” “I cannot change because of my past.” “Nothing works out for people like me.” Every possibility arrives with a reason it cannot work. It’s doom and gloom!

This pattern deserves honest attention and compassion. Someone may have faced serious injustice or repeated loss. Even then, it helps to separate accountability for the past from decisions available in the present. Other people may owe us accountability; but waiting for them to change may be a dead end. And it can stymie us from taking our next steps.

Here’s a simple exercise: Draw two circles on paper. In the outer circle, place what you cannot control. This can include another person’s apology, an old decision, or someone’s opinion. In the inner circle, place what you can influence. Such as, the help you seek for your own growth, your boundaries, your preparation, and one action you can take today. Choose something from the inner circle and put it on your calendar. By doing this, you bypass that outer circle. Focus on what you can control.

Here’s an example: you might replace “They ruined every opportunity” with “That experience cost me something. Today I can contact one new person about a different opportunity.” This does not settle the whole story and solve every problem. However, it gives you a place to begin participating in what comes next with a mindset of moving forward.

Application: Give Your Next Chapter a Practical Direction

The five steps I discuss in MOVE BEYOND—Awareness, Ownership, Truth, Replacement, and Action—provide a way to work through these moments.

Awareness: Notice the belief or pattern and identify it.
Ownership: Own your response without taking on someone else’s wrongdoing.
Truth: Examine what is true. There is a Mindset Funnel™ in Move Beyond that will help with this.
Replacement: Replace an inaccurate belief with an honest one.
Action: Finally, take a specific action that supports it.

Purpose can begin quietly. You may use a skill to help a neighbor, mentor someone entering your field, or return to work you set aside. Pain does not have to become a public testimony or a business offering to have meaning. All you need to do is go online to see how many people post a public display of “wrongs” or “feelings” that may create a momentary feel-good moment but has no permanent resolution. Sometimes rebuilding a healthier daily life is the work in front of you. Don’t hesitate to get support from a trusted counselor, pastor, a mentor or a thoughtful friend. Any one of those can help you take your work seriously.

For this week, choose one tool. Write the three-column page, identify a boundary, make a repair, or act on something inside your circle of influence. Give yourself a manageable starting point. Transformation begins where application starts and MOVE BEYOND invites you to bring that application into your own life. Make sure you get that book—it has wonderful application sections that I believe will truly help you. Your next chapter can include what you have learned without being confined to what you have lost.

Additional Resources

Move Beyond: From Brokenness to Purpose by Deborah Johnson: new late fall 2026! "Beauty isn't found in what was never broken; it's revealed in what has been restored.“

Women at Halftime: Principles for Producing Your Successful Second Half by Deborah Johnson: Will you merely face into the second half of life, operating with a tired and outdated strategy, living on autopilot? Or will you successfully reinvent yourself and climb to your personal peak of Hero Mountain? Chapter 4 includes Core Common Denominator®

Power of After: What’s Next Can be Your Most Purposeful Chapter by Deborah Johnson. This book helps you answer the crucial question, "What's next?" as you create your ideal business using AI and other current technologies.

Stop Circling: Steps to Escape Endless Roundabouts: provides both the inspirational perspective and solid tools to design an individual or professional future path and to get individuals there successfully.

Get The SUMMIT on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/4z3mDIs

HALFERS Position Free Download

YouTube Channel: Mindset & Mental Strength for Mid-Career Growth

Personalized Mentorship: Thoughtful guidance for your next chapter creating clarity, confidence & momentum.

The Summit book by Deborah Johnson

Goal Setting Worksheets-free download!

Hero Mountain Summit- a 5-month "Power of After" journey to help you answer "What's Next?" with your desired lifestyle & maximized skills and experience.

FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks

YouTube Podcast Playlist: Women at Halftime/Power of After

Restoration asks us to notice what needs attention and do the work of rebuilding, one honest choice at a time.

deborah johnson

Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author

If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning

1,924 words

The post From Brokenness to Purpose appeared first on Deborah Johnson.

The Self-Trust Muscle

Deborah Johnson — Fri, 06 Nov 2026 12:22:36 +0000

What if the confidence you’re waiting for doesn’t arrive before you take the first step? What if it grows because you take it?

On the Power of After Show, I spoke with Kerri Roberts about the quiet, everyday work of building a self-trust muscle. After spending about 20 years in corporate leadership, Kerri stepped into entrepreneurship and founded Salt and Light Advisors. Her experience has taught her that self-trust is less like a gift we’re born with and more like a muscle we strengthen through use.

That matters when we’re asking, “What’s next?” Whether we want to begin a business, improve our health, write a book or repair a relationship, a new direction often requires us to move forward without knowing exactly how everything will turn out. Self-trust gives us a place to begin.

What is Self-Trust?

Self-trust is the belief that we can count on ourselves to make thoughtful choices, honor our commitments, learn from mistakes and respond when things don’t go as planned. It doesn’t mean we’ll always make the perfect decision. It means we’re willing to take responsibility for our next step.

Kerri pointed out that we often look outside ourselves when we talk about trust. We may wonder whom we can rely on or wish someone else would make us feel more secure. Yet we can overlook the relationship we have with ourselves—and the small ways we either strengthen or weaken that relationship each day.

Think about the promises you make to yourself. Perhaps you intend to take a walk, drink more water or set aside time for a project. When you follow through, you collect evidence that your intentions can become actions. When you repeatedly make commitments you don’t keep, you may begin to doubt your own word.

This doesn’t mean one missed walk ruins your self-trust! Life happens. Schedules change, bodies need rest and priorities sometimes shift. What matters is paying attention to patterns and making realistic commitments we can return to when we get off track.

The Cost of Losing Trust in Yourself

A lack of self-trust can make even an exciting opportunity feel overwhelming. You may have a wonderful idea, but another voice asks, “Will I really follow through? What if I can’t do it?”

Over time, that doubt can lead to hesitation, procrastination and an uncomfortable habit of looking to everyone else for reassurance. We may keep gathering advice while postponing the decision we need to make. Or we may abandon a meaningful goal because we haven’t yet seen proof that we can manage the work.

Broken promises can also accumulate in the background. An unfinished task may seem small on its own, but when it joins several others, the list can feel heavier than any one item deserves. Instead of thinking, “I haven’t done that yet,” we may begin to think, “I never finish anything.” That’s a much larger—and often untrue—story to carry.

Kerri suggested that difficulty trusting ourselves can also affect how we approach trust with others. Relationships are complex, and another person’s actions matter. Still, examining our own patterns can help us see where we have choices and where we need to rebuild confidence in our judgment.

Courage Comes Before Confidence

Kerri knows what it’s like to enter unfamiliar territory. She felt confident as a corporate leader, but starting her own business meant learning new systems, finding clients and promoting her own work. The experience was exciting and vulnerable at the same time.

She didn’t know every outcome in advance. What she did know was that she could show up, make connections and keep working at the steps within her control. Past commitments she had honored gave her evidence that she could be disciplined and persistent—even while feeling uncertain. (Get Deborah's Books here: BOOKS)

That distinction is important. Self-trust doesn’t remove fear or guarantee success. It helps us act with courage while uncertainty is still present. We can do something scared, learn from the experience and discover that we can move forward. Confidence often follows.

I’ve found the same principle in writing and technology. Every book still involves revisions and questions. And when a new program refuses to cooperate, I may have to try several approaches and ask for help. There is rarely a magic button—although I would happily buy one if there were!

Daily Disciplines that Build Self-Trust

Kerri’s routines show how ordinary practices can support a bigger purpose. She begins by resetting her home, giving herself a calmer environment for journaling and the rest of her day. She also makes time for movement, nutritious meals, gratitude and family dinner.

Her exact routine won’t fit everyone. Our work schedules, health, responsibilities and seasons of life are different. The invitation is to choose practices that support your values and then give them a place in your day.

Here are a few ways to begin:

Make one promise small enough to keep. Instead of committing to an hour of exercise every day, begin with a ten-minute walk or another movement that works for you.
Create a simple reset. Clear your desk, prepare for tomorrow or put away a few things that distract you. A short reset can make it easier to focus on the next task.
Take time to think. Journaling is a great tool to consider what we think and feel, rather than immediately reaching for an outside answer. A few quiet minutes and a notebook can help you hear your own thoughts.
Practice gratitude. Gratitude can be built into a daily walk. You might name three specific things you appreciate during your morning coffee or before bed.
Follow through with flexibility. If a commitment no longer fits, adjust it honestly. Changing a plan with intention is different from repeatedly making promises you know you can’t keep.
These practices don’t need to be impressive. Their strength is in repetition. Each time you choose an achievable action and follow through, you give yourself another reason to trust your word.
Get our free Goal Setting Worksheets here!

What is Brain Space?

During our conversation, Kerri used the phrase “brain space” to describe the attention taken up by things we keep thinking about. It’s the project you’ve delayed, the appointment you need to schedule or the Pilates credits you keep meaning to use.

Even when you aren’t working on the task, it can follow you into other parts of the day. You might be taking a walk or spending time with family while a quiet voice reminds you of what you haven’t done. The concern occupies attention you could otherwise give to rest, creativity or the people in front of you.

The first suggestion is to take one small step. If a project is weighing on you, set a timer for 15 minutes and begin. You don’t have to finish the whole thing. Open the file, outline the first section or send the email. Making a little progress can make the next step easier to see.

I use a timer when my office needs attention. As a creative person, I can move from one project to the next while the piles quietly develop their own personalities. A short, focused cleanup helps me begin without feeling I have to solve everything at once.

Protect Your Mental Real-Estate

Mental real estate is a helpful image for the limited room we have for attention. Just as a physical room can become crowded, our minds can fill with unresolved decisions, repeated worries and reminders of things we’ve put off.

Kerri described a hole in the wall that needs patching. I immediately thought of a squeaky office door and the small repair I had been meaning to make. I even had the nail! Yet every time the door squeaked, it reminded me that the job was still waiting.

Not every concern can be resolved in 15 minutes. A difficult relationship or health issue may need patience, support and several conversations. But you can often identify one next action: make an appointment, write down a question for your doctor or arrange a time to talk. If action isn’t possible today, deciding when to revisit the issue can help you stop carrying it as an undefined obligation.

The goal is not to clear every thought from your mind. It’s to become more intentional about what occupies your attention so you can give space to your most important work, relationships and rest.

Application: Start with One Small Step

What has been quietly taking up space in your mind? Choose one or two things you’ve been postponing and decide on a specific next step. Put it on your calendar, write it down or ask a trusted friend to help hold you accountable.

Then follow through—and notice what happens. You may not solve the entire problem today, but you’ll have evidence that you can begin.

The self-trust muscle grows as we practice. Each thoughtful commitment, honest adjustment and courageous step helps us move toward what’s next with greater clarity and confidence.

Additional Resources

Find out more about Kerri Roberts here: SaltandLightAdvisors.com

The Summit: Journey to Hero Mountain by Deborah Johnson: an inspiring journey to conquer self-doubt, fear, and criticism, including the protagonist’s own inner critic.

Power of After: What's Next Can Be Your Most Purposeful Chapter by Deborah Johnson

Hero Mountain Summit: Power of After 5-Step Framework: A 5-month entrepreneurial mentorship designed to help mid-life professionals break free from stagnation and rise toward purposeful success.

FREE Downloads: Goal Setting Worksheets ; Power of After 7 Ingredients for Success Guide

FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks

Deborah’s Music Products: https://djworksmusic.com/products/

YouTube Podcast Playlist (Subscribe!): Women at Halftime/Power of After

”

Kerri Roberts

Kerri Roberts is the host of Don't Waste the Chaos, author of The HR Easy Button, and a 20+ year HR & People Operations executive turned founder. She's worked inside complex, high-stakes environments - healthcare, education, insurance, mortgage, and award-winning organizations - and now partner with leaders who want clarity, structure, and momentum without adding unnecessary complexity.

Self-trust doesn’t remove fear or guarantee success. It helps us act with courage while uncertainty is still present.

deborah johnson

Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author

If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning

1,485 words

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The Danger of Living in the Roundabout

Deborah Johnson — Sat, 31 Oct 2026 11:31:48 +0000

Have you ever been incredibly busy and still had the uneasy feeling that you are not really getting anywhere?

Your calendar is full. You answer emails, meet deadlines, solve problems, take care of people, research possibilities, and perhaps even start several new projects. From the outside, it looks like movement. But inside, the same question keeps returning: Why am I still here?

That is the danger of living in the roundabout.

A roundabout is designed to keep traffic moving, but it is never intended to become a destination. You enter, assess where you are, watch the traffic, choose the proper exit, and continue toward where you want to go. Now this sounds simple enough, but it’s not always easy! Recently, I found myself a bit stressful when on a bike and having to maneuver around a roundabout. It takes concentration to not only enter but exit!

Imagine deciding to simply keep circling. Whether in a moving vehicle or on a bike, you would burn fuel, accumulate miles, and probably irritate a few drivers—but you would not arrive anywhere.

In my book STOP CIRCLING, I use the roundabout as a picture of the seasons of life when we are active but stuck, circling. We can be moving without making meaningful progress. We can become so accustomed to circling that the familiar begins to feel safer than choosing an exit.

My upcoming book MOVE BEYOND takes that idea deeper. Sometimes the obstacle is not merely a lack of direction. We may be carrying distorted thinking, fear, blame, false confidence, anxiety, or beliefs that keep pulling us back into the same loop. Moving forward requires more than choosing a new activity. It requires recognizing what is keeping us in the circle in the first place.

How We End up Circling

Most people do not deliberately decide to get stuck. I’ve been writing about getting unstuck since my very first book. But this I know, circling usually develops gradually.

A career that once fit begins to feel restrictive. A business changes. Retirement approaches. A relationship shifts. A setback shakes our confidence. Technology changes faster than we expected. Or perhaps we simply realize that the goals that motivated us twenty years ago no longer have the same meaning.

At that point, we may compensate by becoming busier. It “feels productive.”

We take another class. Rework the website. Research another business idea. Buy another planner. Listen to another podcast. Rearrange the office. Sometimes those are useful actions. But activity can also become a sophisticated form of avoidance.

We tell ourselves we are “working on it” while postponing the decision that would actually change something.

The danger is that circling can look productive.

That is why one of the first principles in STOP CIRCLING is Position. Before deciding where to go, honestly assess where you are. My Roundabout Hero framework centers on three P’s: Position, Perspective, and Purpose. Where am I now? What do I need to see differently? Why does the destination matter enough for me to leave the circle?

Those questions require honesty, because you cannot accurately navigate from a location you refuse to acknowledge.

The Hidden Cost of the Familiar

There is another reason we keep circling: familiarity feels safer than uncertainty.

Even an uncomfortable roundabout can become predictable. We know its curves. We know where the bumps are. We know how to survive another lap, another circle around. An exit, however, leads somewhere we have not yet traveled.

That may require learning new technology, changing a habit, asking for help, risking rejection, admitting something did not work, or letting go of an identity we have carried for years.

This is where MOVE BEYOND adds another layer to the roundabout principle. If we do not examine the thinking underneath our choices, we can change circumstances and still recreate the same patterns.

A victimhood mindset may keep us blaming the traffic rather than taking responsibility for the exit. False confidence may keep us pretending we have everything handled rather than admitting where we need growth. Anxiety may cause us to rehearse every possible disaster until doing nothing feels like the safest option. Low self-esteem may whisper, “That exit is for someone else.”

The circumstances differ, but the result is remarkably similar: another lap.

Recognizing the pattern is not failure. It is feedback. Once we see what is happening, we can begin changing direction.

POSITION: Tell the Truth about Where You Are

The first exit principle is to establish your current position.

This sounds simple, but it can be surprisingly difficult. We tend to evaluate ourselves according to where we think we should be, where someone else is, or where we were ten years ago when we had our “15 minutes of fame!”

Instead, we need to ask: Where am I today?

What is working now? What is draining me? Which skills remain strong? What relationships support growth? Don’t discount relationships, including social relationships. They are very important! Which habits are helping? Where have I become stuck? What resources do I already possess? This includes your experience.

In STOP CIRCLING, I developed the HALFERS assessment tool as one way to evaluate a current position across important areas of life. The specific tool matters less than the willingness to look honestly and compassionately at reality.

MOVE BEYOND reinforces the importance of truth. Transformation cannot be built on distortion. We have to identify what is true before we can make a healthy change.

Truth is not intended to condemn us. It gives us coordinates.

If the GPS believes you are in Texas when you are actually in California, even the most detailed directions will be useless. I wanted our pilot to know we were in Texas on our way back to California on our recent flight! The same principle applies to life. Accurate direction begins with an accurate starting point.

PERSPECTIVE: Get Above the Traffic

The second principle is Perspective.

When you are inside a roundabout, your attention naturally goes to what is immediately around you: cars merging, exits approaching, horns honking, and perhaps there’s a driver who believes turn signals are merely decorative.

Life can feel the same way.

When we are stressed, disappointed, or afraid, our field of vision narrows. The immediate problem becomes the entire landscape.

Perspective requires elevation.

Sometimes that comes through a mentor, coach, trusted friend, prayer, journaling, reading, or simply stepping away long enough to think. Someone outside our circle may see an exit we have driven past five times.

Perspective also means examining the thoughts we repeatedly rehearse. In MOVE BEYOND, I emphasize moving our thinking through truth rather than automatically accepting every thought that appears. Our beliefs shape our values, and our values shape our lives. If the belief underneath a decision is distorted, the direction will eventually be distorted too.

Here’s what we can ask: Is this thought true? Is it useful? Is fear making this decision for me? Am I responding to reality or to an old story?

A change in perspective can reveal possibilities that were present all along.

PURPOSE: Choose an Exit Worth Taking

The third principle is Purpose.

You can know where you are and gain a wonderful new perspective, but eventually you still have to choose an exit. Purpose supplies the reason.

A strong why helps us tolerate the uncertainty of change. It gives meaning to the learning curve, the awkward first attempts, and the possibility that the new road will not be perfectly smooth. I can easily recall our recent bike trip with some of the roads that needed repair! They weren’t smooth, but we could still ride easily on them.

Purpose does not necessarily mean discovering one enormous life mission that’s laid out for us. In different seasons of life, purpose may involve building a business, caring for family, mentoring others, creating meaningful work, restoring health, developing a talent, serving a community, or using decades of experience in a new way.

The important question is not simply, “What do I want to leave?” It is, “What am I moving toward?” That distinction matters.

Escaping something can create temporary momentum. Moving toward something meaningful creates direction.

In MOVE BEYOND, restoration is an important part of that process. Restoration is not merely returning life to exactly what it was. It is taking what remains—experience, wisdom, abilities, relationships, even lessons learned through broken places—and rebuilding toward usefulness, strength, beauty, and purpose.

Sometimes the exit from the roundabout is not a return to the old road. It is the beginning of a better one.

Core Values Keep You from Taking the Wrong Exit

Not every exit is the right exit. I can say with confidence that most everyone has taken some sort of wrong exit when traveling. In life, this is where core values become essential.

An opportunity can look impressive and still take us somewhere we do not want to live. More money may come with a lifestyle we no longer want. Visibility may demand compromises we are unwilling to make. A new venture may be exciting but pull us away from relationships, faith, health, or responsibilities we consider foundational.

Core values function like a compass inside the roundabout. They help us ask not only, “Can I do this?” but, “Does this fit who I am and what I believe matters?”

One of the principles running through MOVE BEYOND is this: Beliefs shape values. Values shape lives.

When our direction is aligned with our values, decisions become clearer. Not necessarily easier—but clearer.

This is especially important in the second half of life. We have accumulated enough experience to know that every yes carries a no somewhere else. Time spent in one direction cannot simultaneously be spent in another.

The goal is not merely to exit. It is to exit intentionally.

Application: Stop Circling and Take the Next Step

So how do you know if you are living in a roundabout?

Look for repeated motion without meaningful change.

Are you revisiting the same decision month after month? Complaining about the same circumstance without changing your response? Gathering information you never apply? Waiting to feel completely confident before acting? Blaming circumstances for choices that are still within your control?

Perhaps it is time to stop counting laps around the roudabout.

Start with three questions:

Where am I? That is Position.
What do I need to see differently? That is Perspective.
What matters enough for me to move toward it? That is Purpose.

Then add the deeper MOVE BEYOND question: What thought, belief, fear, grievance, or false identity keeps pulling me back into the circle?

You do not need the entire road mapped before you move. You need enough truth to identify the next healthy step.

Make the call. Submit the proposal. Begin the class. Have the conversation. Rewrite the plan. Ask for help. Set the boundary. Use the talent. Revisit the dream. Take one action that moves you beyond another lap. And if you need help, don’t hesitate to get it. There are a lot of resources available, including some that we provide.

Roundabouts are useful places for changing direction.

They are terrible places to live.

Your experience has value. Your setbacks can teach you. What has been broken can be restored. Your values can provide direction, and your purpose can give you the courage to choose an exit.

The goal is not frantic motion.
The goal is forward movement.

So if you recognize that you have been circling, do not waste energy condemning yourself for the miles already traveled. Learn from them. Establish your position. Elevate your perspective. Clarify your purpose. Move beyond the thinking that keeps returning you to the same place.

Then turn on your signal—and take the exit.

Additional Resources

Move Beyond: From Brokenness to Purpose by Deborah Johnson: new late fall 2026! "Beauty isn't found in what was never broken; it's revealed in what has been restored.“

Get The SUMMIT on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/4z3mDIs

HALFERS Position Free Download

YouTube Channel: Mindset & Mental Strength for Mid-Career Growth

Personalized Mentorship: Thoughtful guidance for your next chapter creating clarity, confidence & momentum.

The Summit book by Deborah Johnson

Goal Setting Worksheets-free download!

Hero Mountain Summit- a 5-month "Power of After" journey to help you answer "What's Next?" with your desired lifestyle & maximized skills and experience.

FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks

YouTube Podcast Playlist: Women at Halftime/Power of After

A roundabout is meant to help you change direction—not become your permanent address.

deborah johnson

Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author

If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning

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Your Values: Your Compass for What’s Next

Deborah Johnson — Fri, 23 Oct 2026 15:57:00 +0000

There are seasons when knowing what to do next feels surprisingly difficult and you may even question your values. A career that once provided direction begins to change. Children grow up. Retirement comes into view. A business opportunity appears. A relationship shifts. Technology changes the way we work. Suddenly, choices that once seemed obvious are not so obvious anymore.

At those moments, we often look outward for direction. We ask friends. We search online. We compare ourselves with people who appear to have figured it out, whether a mentor, so called “expert” or even an influencer. We make lists of pros and cons. All of those things can be helpful, but they cannot answer one essential question for us: What matters most?

That is where core values become incredibly important.

I think of core values as a compass. They are the deeply held principles, shaped by our beliefs and worldview, that guide what matters, how we decide, and how we choose to live. They do not tell us every turn to take, but they keep pointing us toward the direction we have determined is true.

This is especially valuable in the Power of After—the years when we have enough experience to know that simply staying busy is not the same as moving in the right direction. The question is no longer only, “What can I do?” It becomes, “Who do I want to become, and what do I want my life to consistently reflect?”

Why a Compass Changed the World

The compass is such an ordinary object today that it is easy to forget how revolutionary it once was. Early navigators depended heavily on landmarks, the sun, stars, winds, and accumulated knowledge of familiar routes. The magnetic compass changed that by providing a directional reference even when the shoreline disappeared or clouds obscured the sky.

According to the Smithsonian’s Time and Navigation project, the use of the compass for navigation at sea may have begun in China sometime after A.D. 1000, then spread through the Islamic world and into Europe. By around 1300, European shipboard versions combined a magnetized needle with a directional card in a protected housing. The instrument became central to dead reckoning because sailors could continually determine the direction their ship was traveling. Over time, compasses became more sophisticated. Mariners learned that magnetic north and geographic true north are not identical and developed corrections for magnetic variation. In the nineteenth century, improved liquid compasses helped stabilize readings aboard moving vessels. Even in an age of satellites, GPS, digital maps, and sophisticated navigation systems, the basic magnetic compass remains useful because it provides direction without depending on a battery, cellular signal, or satellite connection.

I love that image because a compass does not eliminate storms. It does not flatten mountains, remove rocks, or guarantee calm water. It simply keeps providing direction. A compass is especially valuable as a tool that isn’t dependent on automation or electronics. If all of those quit, a physical compass still works.

Our core values work much the same way. A compass doesn’t remove obstacles; it keeps us moving toward true north despite them.

Beliefs Shape Values: Values Shape Lives

One of the principles I emphasize in my book MOVE BEYOND is simple: Beliefs shape values. Values shape lives.

Values do not develop in isolation. They grow from what we believe to be true about God, ourselves, other people, work, responsibility, relationships, success, and purpose. That is why two people can face the same opportunity and make very different decisions. They may not simply have different preferences; they may be operating from different values.

For me, faith provides the source of truth from which my values flow. But regardless of where a person begins, it is important to recognize that values need a true north. Otherwise, what we call a “value” can become little more than a preference that changes whenever circumstances become uncomfortable.

Clear values stabilize us.

If integrity is one of my core values, it influences what I do when telling the truth costs me something. If family is a core value, it affects what I allow to consume my calendar. If growth matters, I need to remain teachable even after decades of experience. If faith is foundational, it should influence my decisions rather than simply appear as a label I use to describe myself.

Values become meaningful when they move from words to choices.

That is why I often say that opportunities ask, “What do you want to do?” Values ask, “Who do you want to become?”

The Value Compass

In MOVE BEYOND, I use a Value Compass as a practical framework for evaluating direction.

We live with enormous amounts of input. Advice, trends, expectations, opportunities, opinions, and urgent requests can pull us in multiple directions. Without an internal reference point, the loudest voice can easily become the one we follow.

The Value Compass begins with deeper questions: What do I believe at my core? In whom or what do I place my faith? What do I want my life to consistently reflect?

From there, I encourage people to narrow the answers into three areas: What do I stand for? What kind of lifestyle do I want to live each day? What legacy do I want to leave?

Those questions move values out of the abstract.

For example, you may say you value relationships, but your calendar may reveal that work receives nearly all of your best energy. You may say you value health, yet consistently sacrifice sleep and movement for commitments that could be changed. You may value creativity but have allowed every available hour to be consumed by administration. You may value service but have become so busy maintaining what you have built that you rarely have time to invest in others.

That discrepancy is what I call a value gap—the space between what we say matters and the way we are actually living.

The goal is not guilt. The goal is alignment.

When Your Compass and Calendar Disagree

This is where core values become very practical.

When our daily actions repeatedly drift away from what matters most, stress often increases. We feel pulled in too many directions. Decisions become harder. Even success can begin to feel hollow because we may be achieving something that no longer aligns with who we want to be.

This is particularly important in the second half of life. Earlier seasons may have required choices based heavily on necessity: raising children, paying a mortgage, building a career, caring for family, or establishing financial security. Those responsibilities are real.

But eventually a different question emerges: What should the years ahead look like?

This is where values can help separate the urgent from the important.

A new opportunity may sound impressive but require a lifestyle you no longer want. A promotion may offer more income but less time for the relationships you now value most. Retirement may offer freedom but leave you without the contribution and intellectual engagement you still need. A business may be profitable but no longer fit your sense of purpose.

There is not one correct answer for everyone. That is precisely why your values matter.

Your compass is personal, but it should not be accidental.

Resetting Your Direction

Even a good compass is useful only if we look at it.

In MOVE BEYOND, I suggest a simple value reset when life begins to feel out of alignment.

First, pause and reflect. Step out of reaction long enough to notice what is happening. What is creating tension? Where are you feeling depleted, resentful, scattered, or uncertain?
Second, identify the value gap. Ask where your actions and stated values are no longer matching. Perhaps you say family matters, but your schedule tells another story. Perhaps you value excellence, but exhaustion has pushed you into merely getting things done. Perhaps you value spiritual growth but have crowded out the practices that keep you grounded.
Third, make one realignment decision. Not twenty. One. Cancel something. Begin something. Have the conversation. Protect the time. Change the boundary. Revisit the goal.
Then recommit daily. Small corrections matter. A navigator does not wait until a ship is hundreds of miles off course to check direction. Course corrections are part of the journey.

The same is true for us.

Get our free Goal Setting Worksheets here!

Your Values and What's Next

When we talk about “What’s Next?” it is tempting to think first about a new job, business, project, book, trip, volunteer role, or retirement plan.

But perhaps the better starting point is not activity. It is alignment.

What do you stand for now?
What do you want an ordinary Tuesday to look like—not just the vacation, celebration, or highlight reel, but your actual daily life?
And when people eventually describe the impact of your life, what do you hope they say you consistently represented?

Those answers can reveal more about your future than another personality assessment or list of possibilities.

Your skills tell you what you can do. Your experience tells you what you have learned. Your opportunities tell you what is available.

Your values help you decide what deserves a yes. They also give you permission to say no.

That may be one of the greatest gifts of becoming clearer about who we are. We stop reacting to every possibility and begin intentionally designing a life that reflects what matters most.

Check Your Compass

So if you are standing at a crossroads and wondering what comes next, resist the pressure to immediately choose a road. Check your compass first.

Write down three to five values that you believe should remain steady regardless of your circumstances. Then look honestly at your life. Do your calendar, relationships, work, finances, habits, and commitments reflect them?

Where is there alignment? Where is there a gap? And what is one small correction you can make this week?

You do not need to know every mile of the road ahead. Sailors did not need to see the entire ocean to use a compass. They needed a reliable reference point and the willingness to keep checking their direction. The same principle applies to your next chapter.

Circumstances will change. Opportunities will come and go. Some roads will close and others will appear that you never expected. But when your values are clear, you have something steady to return to.

Beliefs shape values. Values shape lives.

And when you know your true north, you are far better prepared to answer one of life’s most important questions: What’s next?

Additional Resources

Move Beyond: From Brokenness to Purpose by Deborah Johnson: new late fall 2026! "Beauty isn't found in what was never broken; it's revealed in what has been restored.“

Get The SUMMIT on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/4z3mDIs

HALFERS Position Free Download

YouTube Channel: Mindset & Mental Strength for Mid-Career Growth

Personalized Mentorship: Thoughtful guidance for your next chapter creating clarity, confidence & momentum.

The Summit book by Deborah Johnson

Goal Setting Worksheets-free download!

Hero Mountain Summit- a 5-month "Power of After" journey to help you answer "What's Next?" with your desired lifestyle & maximized skills and experience.

FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks

YouTube Podcast Playlist: Women at Halftime/Power of After

A compass does not choose the destination for you. It keeps you aligned with the direction you have determined is true.

deborah johnson

Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author

If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning

1,766 words

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Livestreaming that Sells

Deborah Johnson — Fri, 16 Oct 2026 12:04:55 +0000

Have you been putting off livestreaming because it feels too technical—or maybe a little intimidating? Then this topic is for you.

For years, one of the easiest excuses has been, “I’m just not good with technology.” But as I discussed with livestreaming pioneer John Petrocelli, that excuse carries a lot less weight today. Phones are better. Cameras are smaller. Microphones are easier to use. Platforms have simplified the process. And most of us already carry a remarkably capable production tool in our pocket.

That does not mean technology suddenly behaves perfectly. Anyone who has used it for more than five minutes knows better. Stuff happens. Internet connections drop. Audio levels change. Software freezes. A power outage can arrive at exactly the wrong moment.

The real mindset shift is accepting that imperfection is part of the process.

John has spent about two decades in livestreaming and founded Bulldog Digital Media, a company that has worked across entertainment, sports, brands, music, and large live experiences. His perspective is valuable because he has seen livestreaming grow from an unreliable emerging technology into something nearly anyone can use.

And perhaps the biggest lesson is this: you do not have to begin at his level. You simply have to begin.

What Livestreaming Really Is

Livestreaming is real-time video delivered to an audience over the internet. It can be as simple as one person talking into a phone or as elaborate as a major concert, product launch, conference, sporting event, or global broadcast.

What makes it different from prerecorded video is immediacy.

The audience knows the experience is happening now. They can comment, ask questions, respond, purchase, or interact while the event is unfolding. That changes the relationship between the person on camera and the person watching.

I use short livestreams myself because I like that off-the-cuff quality. So much of what we see online is polished, edited, filtered, and scripted. Live video gives people a glimpse of the person behind the finished product.

John described that authenticity as one of livestreaming’s greatest strengths. He said audiences today—across demographics—want something real. In an era when AI can create increasingly polished content, live video still carries the unmistakable quality of “this is happening right now.”

That can feel risky. It is also exactly what makes it powerful.

The Benefits Go Far Beyond the Live Moment

The first benefit of livestreaming is connection.

A live experience can transform viewers from passive observers into active participants. Instead of simply watching a product demonstration, interview, teaching segment, or story, viewers can ask questions and influence the conversation.

That engagement matters in a world where attention is difficult to hold.

John also emphasized another benefit that many people overlook: the livestream does not disappear when you stop broadcasting.

Once it is recorded, you own a valuable video asset.

The full event can become a replay. It can be cut into shorter clips, highlights, social posts, educational segments, promotional videos, or future content. A monthly livestream can become the “tentpole” piece of content that feeds your marketing until the next live event.

That idea immediately caught my attention because it makes livestreaming much more efficient. You are not creating one thing. You are creating a source from which many things can grow.

There is also a direct business benefit. Livestreaming increasingly supports what John called performance marketing—the idea that content should help produce a measurable action. That action could be buying a product, registering for an event, ordering a book, learning more about a service, joining a list, or simply giving useful feedback.

Live video allows the audience to move directly from interest to action.

Why Live Commerce Matters

One of the most interesting parts of our conversation was the growth of livestream commerce.

John pointed to the enormous role livestream shopping already plays in China and the expansion of platforms such as TikTok Shop in the United States. The exact numbers will continue changing, but the principle is worth watching: people increasingly want to see a product, ask questions about it, and make a buying decision in the same environment.

That changes selling.

Instead of simply posting a static image and hoping someone clicks, a business can demonstrate the product in real time.

Does it come in blue?
How does it fit?
How do you use it?
How long will shipping take?

A viewer can ask, receive an answer, and make a better-informed decision.

For authors, speakers, consultants, artists, and entrepreneurs, the same principle applies even if we are not selling a physical product. We can teach a concept, share part of a story, answer questions, demonstrate expertise, and then invite the audience to take a next step.

As I told John during our conversation, selling is not only about selling a product. Sometimes we are selling the story, the idea, the experience, or the transformation behind it.

Livestreaming gives us a remarkably natural way to do that.

The Challenges: Start With the Basics

Of course, live video has challenges. John said the biggest technical challenge has historically been internet connectivity. The internet was not originally built around millions of people simultaneously broadcasting and receiving live video. That infrastructure has improved dramatically, but connectivity still matters whether you are broadcasting from a home office, studio, conference center, or major festival.

For the individual business owner, that means testing your connection before you go live. After connectivity, focus on what viewers need most: clear audio, adequate lighting, and a usable camera.

John’s strongest recommendation for beginners was surprisingly simple: start with audio.

Even if the video has a momentary problem, people can often remain engaged if they can clearly hear what is being said. A modest investment in a good lavalier, shotgun, or other quality microphone can make a noticeable difference.

And today, your phone may already provide an excellent camera. John described using smartphone devices even in major professional productions because the image quality has become so good. You do not need a television studio.

You need equipment that works consistently enough that you will actually use it.

Get our free Goal Setting Worksheets here!

Perfection is Not the Goal

This may be the most important point for anyone hesitating to livestream. Your audience does not expect perfection.

John shared an example of Adele stopping during a major live performance because something was wrong with the piano. She simply stopped, addressed the issue, restarted, and delivered the performance.

The world did not end.

In fact, the moment reinforced the authenticity of live performance.

That is a valuable reminder for the rest of us. If something goes wrong, deal with it and continue.

Practice matters. Rehearsal matters. Testing matters. But perfectionism can become another form of procrastination.

I come from the performing arts, so I make an important distinction between practice and rehearsal. Practice develops the skill. Rehearsal prepares the specific performance. Before a livestream, rehearse your topic, your opening, your call to action, and your technology. Test your microphone. Test your camera. Look at your lighting. Know where your links are.

Then go live.

If you stumble over a word, welcome to the human race.

Cadence Builds Confidence--and an Audience

John emphasized one word repeatedly: cadence. Do not livestream once and then disappear.

Choose a rhythm you can maintain.

Maybe it is weekly. Maybe monthly. Perhaps it is tied to a regular product launch, interview series, teaching session, or behind-the-scenes update. A predictable schedule helps you build both skill and audience.

The more often you go live, the less mysterious the process becomes. You learn what works. You receive feedback. Your audience begins telling you what they want to hear next. That feedback is enormously valuable.

John pointed out that livestreaming can function almost like a real-time focus group. Viewers tell you what interests them through their questions, comments, reactions, and behavior.

That means livestreaming is not only a broadcast tool. It is a listening tool.

Where Livestream is Headed

John believes we are still in the early days of livestreaming, and his reasoning is compelling.

Major streaming platforms are investing more heavily in live programming. Social platforms continue expanding live-video capabilities. E-commerce is increasingly being connected directly to livestream experiences. Interactive tools allow comments and questions to appear on screen. Software makes simulcasting to multiple platforms easier and more affordable.

The experience is becoming less about simply watching and more about participating.

That is the opportunity.

You may be a speaker, coach, consultant, author, creator, retailer, nonprofit leader, or small-business owner. The scale of your livestream may be very different from a global concert, but the principle remains the same: create an experience where people can connect with you in real time and give them a meaningful next step.

That next step is what turns livestreaming from content into marketing.

Five Easy Steps to Begin

If livestreaming still feels intimidating, simplify it.

First, choose one platform where your audience already spends time. Do not begin by trying to master six platforms at once.
Second, improve your audio. Use the best microphone you already own or make one modest upgrade.
Third, test everything before the broadcast. Check internet connectivity, microphone level, camera angle, lighting, and the link you want viewers to use.
Fourth, choose a repeatable format. A five-minute teaching point, a ten-minute Q&A, a monthly interview, a demonstration, or a behind-the-scenes story is enough.
Fifth, establish a cadence and repurpose the content. Save the recording. Post the replay. Create clips. Pull out one quote. Turn an answer into another post.

Make the system simple enough that you will continue using it.

That is especially important for those of us who create a lot of content. If the production becomes so complicated that you avoid doing it, the technology is no longer helping you.

The Power is in Showing Up

Livestreaming does not require you to become a technology expert. It asks you to become comfortable enough with the tools to communicate your message.

That is a very different goal.

The future of live video will certainly include more sophisticated production, more commerce, more AI-assisted tools, and more audience interaction. But none of those developments replace the essential ingredient: a real person with something worthwhile to say.

That is where the opportunity lies.

Start with clear audio.
Rehearse.
Test.
Choose a cadence.
Listen to your audience.
Give them a useful next step.

And remember that when something unexpected happens, you are not failing at livestreaming. You are livestreaming.

Sometimes the most memorable moment is the one nobody planned.

Additional Resources

Find out more about John Petrocelli here: Bulldog.com

The Summit: Journey to Hero Mountain by Deborah Johnson: an inspiring journey to conquer self-doubt, fear, and criticism, including the protagonist’s own inner critic.

Power of After: What's Next Can Be Your Most Purposeful Chapter by Deborah Johnson

FREE Downloads: Goal Setting Worksheets ; Power of After 7 Ingredients for Success Guide

FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks

Deborah’s Music Products: https://djworksmusic.com/products/

YouTube Podcast Playlist (Subscribe!): Women at Halftime/Power of After

”

john petrocelli

A pioneer of the livestream industry, John Petrocelli is a lifelong entrepreneur and Founder/CEO of leading livestream studio, Bulldog DM. He has built a career on connecting consumers to the world’s best live content, enabling the most watched livestreams of all time. John’s work has produced over one billion audience engagements across Fortune 500 clients.

Livestreaming does not have to be perfect to be powerful. Make it simple, make it useful, and keep showing up.

deborah johnson

Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author

If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning

1,745 words

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The Problem Behind the Problem

Deborah Johnson — Fri, 09 Oct 2026 11:15:02 +0000

Have you ever worked hard to solve a problem, only to discover you were working on the wrong problem? We do this more often than we realize. We treat the symptom because it is the part we can see. We work longer because productivity is slipping. We become frustrated with a relationship because conversations feel tense. We blame our schedule because we are exhausted. We buy another planner, start another diet, reorganize the office, change the routine, or promise ourselves we will simply try harder.

Sometimes those adjustments help. But sometimes the visible problem is only the alarm. The real issue is somewhere underneath. That is what I call the problem behind the problem.

In the second half of life, this becomes especially important. We have accumulated responsibilities, relationships, habits, expectations, and years of experience. We know how to push through. We know how to compensate. We can become very skilled at keeping things running even when something beneath the surface is not working well.

But effort aimed in the wrong direction is still wasted effort. Before asking, “How do I fix this?” it may be more important to ask, “What is actually causing this?”

The Memory Fountain--and the Solution I Couldn't See

We have a fountain that we call the memory fountain at our home that gave me a perfect illustration of this. Growing over this fountain are multi-generational Concord grapes and a steel arbor, part of which my father helped build. Thus, it’s a place where I celebrate the beautiful memory of many holidays enjoying delicious grape juice from the grapes and the legacy of hard work and industriousness my parents provided.

But like any fountain, it needs cleaning. Leaves fall into it. Dirt collects. Algae appears. Water evaporates. So when the fountain was not functioning as it should, I did what seemed obvious: I decided to empty it and clean it.The process began by dumping the dirty water into nearby planters, bucket after bucket. After watering each plant at least five times, the task became more of a workout than I had planned, but I kept going, in a full sweat but thinking, I’m making progress. But then a confusing detail emerged. The water level hadn’t changed, which didn’t make sense. I had hauled enough water to irrigate a small farm, or at least all the plants surrounding the area. Yet the fountain looked exactly the same. The water level had not changed. So I began to question everything:

Is this fountain bigger than I thought? Maybe I miscalculated its size.
Am I not as strong as I imagined, or is the bucket smaller than I thought? Though, I don’t think I could have carried anything heavier.
There must be a trick to this. Maybe it just looks like there’s still a lot of water–an optical illusion?

That’s when in the far-right corner I saw a small float—an auto-fill lever—quietly doing its job, bobbing on top of the water. Every bucket of water removed was replaced, perfectly, consistently, and relentlessly.

So I had been working hard but the problem wasn’t my willingness to work. I was putting in plenty of effort. The problem was the direction of that effort.

What I did not understand was that the fountain had an auto-fill system. It was designed to replenish its own water supply as the level dropped. Once I discovered that, the situation looked completely different. I had been concentrating on the visible condition of the fountain while missing a system underneath that was supposed to be doing an important job.

At this point, I just needed to disable the auto-fill then continue. Though I also bought a sump pump to do the job, which has proved to be a very wise purchase! The auto-fill discovery changed the question from, “How can I clean and refill this fountain?” to “In what way can I work with the auto-fill system to move water out, then in the fountain to clean it?”

That is the problem behind the problem. It took the insight of one extra element to make all the difference. Many of us are remarkably diligent cleaners. We keep wiping up the evidence. We compensate. We refill. We reorganize. We work harder. Then we wonder why the same issue keeps returning. Sometimes the solution is not more effort. It is finding the auto-fill—the hidden system, assumption, habit, pressure, or unmet need affecting everything else.

When Stress Becomes the Hidden System

Stress often works this way. We usually notice stress when it becomes loud: we snap at someone we love, wake up at 3:00 in the morning with our mind racing, lose patience over something trivial, struggle to concentrate, or feel completely depleted by a task that normally would not bother us.

But stress rarely begins at the moment it becomes obvious. It can accumulate quietly.

Think of a smoke alarm. The alarm may suddenly blast through the house, but the sound is not the fire. It is a signal telling you to look for what is producing the smoke.

In the same way, irritability may be the alarm, not the problem. Exhaustion may be the alarm. Procrastination may be the alarm. A strained conversation may be the alarm. Even physical symptoms can sometimes be influenced or worsened by prolonged stress, although new or concerning health symptoms should always be evaluated appropriately rather than simply attributed to stress.

The point is not to diagnose ourselves. It is to become curious about patterns. What has been building?Maybe you have been carrying uncertainty about work for months. Perhaps you are caring for an aging parent while still trying to maintain your normal schedule.

Maybe there is unresolved tension in a relationship. You could be navigating financial pressure, a business transition, an empty nest, retirement, a health concern, or the unsettling question of what comes next.Individually, each demand may seem manageable. Together, they can create a low boil that eventually bubbles over somewhere else.

And unfortunately, the place where it bubbles over is not always the place where it began. There may be an auto-fill lever in an area that is not visibly seen.

The Wrong Target

This is why identifying the real problem matters. Suppose you are unusually irritated with your spouse. The obvious conclusion is, “He is driving me crazy.” Maybe there is a legitimate issue to address. But perhaps the intensity of your reaction is being amplified by three weeks of poor sleep, an approaching deadline, and worry about a family member.

Or your business has stalled. The obvious answer may seem to be, “I need more marketing.” So you post more, spend more, create more, and add another platform. But what if the real problem is that your message is unclear? More marketing simply broadcasts the confusion to a larger audience. If this is you, Donald Miller’s book: Business Made Simple is a great resource.

Maybe you cannot finish an important project. You label yourself a procrastinator and search for a better productivity system. But underneath the delay is fear: What if I finish it and people judge it? What if it fails? What if it succeeds and creates expectations I am not sure I can meet?

The visible behavior is procrastination. The problem behind the problem is fear. I am sure many listeners can identify with that issue.

But this does not mean every issue has a mysterious psychological explanation. Sometimes a broken faucet is simply a broken faucet. Sometimes you really do need a better calendar. But when the same problem keeps returning despite repeated effort, that is a good reason to look beneath the surface.

Find the Leak Before You Refill

My fountain taught me a simple principle: before you keep refilling, find out where the water is going and why it keeps circulating. We can apply that principle to almost any area of life.

When you notice a recurring problem, begin with facts rather than assumptions. What is actually happening? How often? When did it begin? What changed around that time? What tends to happen immediately before it? What happens afterward?

Then separate the symptom from the source.

If you are exhausted, “I need more energy” describes what you want, not necessarily what is wrong. If you are overwhelmed, “I need more time” may not be the complete answer. You may need fewer commitments, clearer priorities, better boundaries, help from someone else, or a difficult decision you have been postponing.

Next, ask what you are compensating for.

This is a powerful question because capable people become very good at compensation. We create workarounds. We rescue. We take over. We stay late. We absorb someone else's responsibility. We quietly refill the fountain every day and congratulate ourselves for keeping it full. This is an area where I often find myself living as I tend to have a lot of energy and can barrel through.

Eventually, however, compensation has a cost. So I need to pay attention to my own message!

Finally, we can ask: What would change if I addressed the source instead of managing the symptom? That question can redirect enormous amounts of energy

Truth Changes the Direction of Effort

There is an important word underneath this entire process: TRUTH. We cannot solve the right problem until we are willing to see it accurately.

Sometimes truth is measurable: the numbers show where money is going, data shows where customers are dropping off, or a calendar reveals that we have committed to far more than our available hours. I keep a physical as well as virtual calendar because of this. It helps me see the big picture of my schedule.

Get our free Goal Setting Worksheets here!

Sometimes truth requires honesty: we can say I am resentful. I am afraid. I have avoided this conversation. I am trying to prove something. I keep saying yes because I do not want to disappoint people. I am exhausted because I have confused being needed with being valuable.

Truth is not condemnation. It is useful information.

Once we see reality clearly, we can make meaningful adjustments. That was true with my fountain. The cleaning was not the mistake; cleaning was necessary. The mistake was assuming that cleaning and manually adding water addressed the whole problem.

The right solution did more than make the fountain look better. It restored the system to the way it was intended to function. That is a powerful picture for life as well.

From Busy Exhaustion to Forward Motion

There are seasons when life requires extra effort. Deadlines are real. Families need us. Businesses have demanding stretches. Unexpected problems arrive without checking our calendars first. There are many who are not only caring for their immediate family but their parents, stretched thin.

But there is a difference between purposeful effort and busy exhaustion.

Purposeful effort moves toward the source. Busy exhaustion keeps treating the evidence.

One creates progress. The other can keep us trapped in an endless cycle of cleaning, refilling, reacting, and wondering why nothing really changes.

This is especially important when we are asking, “What's next?”

The next chapter of life is not always about adding something new. Sometimes it begins by identifying what has quietly been draining the energy, clarity, confidence, or purpose we already have.

Perhaps there is a leak you have been compensating for.
Perhaps an alarm has been sounding and you have been trying to silence it rather than asking what triggered it.
Perhaps you have been working extremely hard—but on the wrong problem.

The encouraging part is that awareness changes direction. Once you identify the problem behind the problem, your effort becomes more focused. Decisions become clearer. You stop throwing energy at symptoms and begin addressing causes.

And sometimes the breakthrough is surprisingly simple: you finally discover the auto-fill you never knew was there.

Power of After Takeaway

So this week, when something frustrates you, drains you, or keeps repeating, resist the immediate urge to simply work harder.

Ask three questions:

What am I seeing on the surface?
What might be happening underneath?
Am I solving the real problem—or repeatedly cleaning up its effects?

The fountain still needs cleaning. Life still requires maintenance. Stress cannot be eliminated, and not every difficulty has a simple fix. But we can become much wiser about where we place our effort.

Because the goal is not to become better at refilling a leaking fountain.

The goal is to find the leak, understand the system, and restore healthy flow.

Sometimes the problem you can see is only pointing toward the problem that actually needs your attention.

Additional Resources

Move Beyond: From Brokenness to Purpose by Deborah Johnson: new late fall 2026! "Beauty isn't found in what was never broken; it's revealed in what has been restored.“

Get The SUMMIT on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/4z3mDIs

HALFERS Position Free Download

YouTube Channel: Mindset & Mental Strength for Mid-Career Growth

Personalized Mentorship: Thoughtful guidance for your next chapter creating clarity, confidence & momentum.

The Summit book by Deborah Johnson

Goal Setting Worksheets-free download!

Hero Mountain Summit- a 5-month "Power of After" journey to help you answer "What's Next?" with your desired lifestyle & maximized skills and experience.

FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks

YouTube Podcast Playlist: Women at Halftime/Power of After

The visible problem may be the alarm. Wisdom asks what is setting it off.

deborah johnson

Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author

If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning

2,120 words

The post The Problem Behind the Problem appeared first on Deborah Johnson.

False Confidence-The Success Trap

Deborah Johnson — Sun, 04 Oct 2026 21:24:05 +0000

Confidence is an interesting quality. We admire it. We reward it. We often assume the person who walks into the room with certainty must know what he or she is doing. Online, confidence can look even more convincing: the right lighting, the polished video, the impressive title, the growing audience, the perfect family photo, the business win. Yet appearance and reality are not always the same.

That is where false confidence becomes dangerous.

False confidence is not simply arrogance. It can also be a carefully constructed image of competence, certainty, or success that has never been anchored to truth. Sometimes we create that image for others. Sometimes we create it for ourselves. We begin believing that if we look successful enough, sound certain enough, or collect enough external proof, we will finally feel secure inside.

But confidence built primarily on applause, achievement, appearance, or comparison has a structural weakness: it needs constant reinforcement. One disappointing quarter, one critical comment, one younger competitor, one failed launch, or one unexpected life change can expose how fragile it really is.

The success trap nobody talks about is this: you can become very good at looking confident while becoming increasingly disconnected from the truth about who you are.

When the Statue of Liberty Disappeared

One of the most memorable demonstrations of how easily perception can be manipulated happened on television in 1983. Illusionist David Copperfield stood before an audience on Liberty Island and did something that seemed impossible: he made the Statue of Liberty disappear.

A huge curtain was raised between the audience and the statue. When it dropped, Lady Liberty appeared to be gone. The lights that had framed the statue were still visible, but the enormous monument itself seemed to have vanished. A helicopter view added to the drama. Then, later in the broadcast, the statue reappeared.

Of course, the Statue of Liberty had never moved. Copperfield had created an illusion so convincing that people could look directly toward one of the most recognizable landmarks in the world and perceive an empty space.

That is the nature of deception. Something does not have to be true to look true.The lesson extends far beyond magic. If lighting, staging, framing, timing, and controlled perspective can make the Statue of Liberty seem to disappear, imagine what selective framing can do to our perception of another person’s life—or our own.

Social media gives every one of us a small production studio. We choose the camera angle. We choose which twenty seconds to post. We crop out the argument, the rejection, the financial pressure, the loneliness, the insecurity, and the ten failed attempts that came before the successful one.The danger is not that every polished image is dishonest. The danger is forgetting that an image is never the whole landscape.

The Confidence Behind the Camera

We have abundant evidence that public success does not automatically produce private confidence.

Adele is one of the most successful recording artists of her generation. In fact, I heard from some of the producers who worked with her that she did many of her vocals in just one take! Her albums 21 and 25 both won Grammy Album of the Year, and she has earned 16 Grammy Awards from 25 nominations. Her James Bond theme “Skyfall” won both an Academy Award and Golden Globe for Best Original Song, and her television special Adele: One Night Only earned her a Primetime Emmy as executive producer. She also made Grammy history as the first artist to sweep Album, Record and Song of the Year twice—and I remember all the award trophies she was trying to hold at the same time! This extraordinary record of achievement makes her candid struggles with stage fright and self-doubt all the more striking.

Adele is a powerful illustration because her public success and private confidence have not always matched. Despite becoming one of the world’s most celebrated singers, she has spoken candidly about severe stage fright. In a 60 Minutes interview, Adele said her nerves actually became worse as she became more successful, because greater success brought greater expectations; underneath the fear was the thought that she might not “deliver” and could disappoint the people who loved her music. Years later, she was still describing live performance as frightening enough to keep her from experimenting onstage. Her experience is a striking reminder that achievement does not automatically create inner confidence. In fact, success can sometimes magnify insecurity because there is suddenly more to protect, more expectation to meet, and farther to fall. The applause may tell us we’ve succeeded, but it cannot by itself tell us who we are. That deeper confidence has to come from somewhere more enduring than performance.

A 2024 study published in Acta Psychologica examined 541 people and found that stronger impostor feelings were associated with less authentic online self-presentation and greater adaptation of the self presented online. In other words, the more someone fears being exposed as less capable than others believe, the easier it may become to manage the image rather than strengthen the identity underneath it.

False Confidence Has Two Faces

False confidence can show up in opposite ways.

The first is overstatement: I know more than I know. I am more capable than I am. I do not need correction. This kind of confidence resists feedback because feedback threatens the image.

The second is performance: I must look as though I have it all together because I am afraid I do not. This version may be harder to recognize because it can coexist with real achievement. A person can be talented, accomplished, respected—and still feel that the whole structure could collapse if people saw the uncertainty underneath.

Both forms have the same problem. They are built around managing perception rather than facing truth.

Healthy confidence is different. It can say, I know what I know, and I know what I still need to learn. It does not require perfection. It allows room for competence and humility at the same time.

That kind of confidence is much harder to fake—and much harder to shake.

TRUTH Before Confidence

This is why I put so much emphasis on TRUTH.

Truth is not whatever makes us feel most confident. Truth is what corresponds with reality, even when reality needs adjustment.

If I tell myself, I’m terrible at this, when years of evidence show that I am skilled, that is not humility. It is distortion and false humility. If I tell myself, I’m an expert, when I have barely begun, that is not confidence either. It is another distortion.

Truth asks better questions: What do the facts show? What have I actually accomplished? Where am I genuinely strong? Where do I need growth? What feedback have I resisted because it threatens my self-image? What am I pretending not to know?

Truth can be uncomfortable, but it is remarkably stabilizing. Once we stop spending energy protecting an illusion, we can spend that energy growing. It is one of the principles I approach in my upcoming book, “Move Beyond.” Once you determine what is really true, you can work through other healthy mindsets.

That is one reason honest self-assessment is so important in the second half of life. By mid-career, many of us have accumulated titles, credentials, experiences, successes, and failures. We have enough history to build either a very impressive façade or a very grounded identity.

The goal is not to diminish what we have achieved. The goal is to place achievement in its proper position. Success is something we experience. It is not the total definition of who we are.

Core Values: The Internal Structure

So where does durable confidence come from? One important source is knowing your core values.

Core values are the deeply held principles that guide what matters, how we decide, and how we choose to live. They become an internal compass when external signals become noisy.

If integrity is a core value, I can tell the truth even when exaggeration would make me look better. If growth is a core value, I can receive correction without treating it as a verdict on my worth. If faith is central to my identity, I do not have to make popularity my source of value. If contribution matters, I can ask whether my work is useful instead of obsessing over whether it is impressive.

Get our free Goal Setting Worksheets here!

Values help answer a critical question: Who am I when the applause stops? This is especially important for anyone who entertains, speaks or is in a field of performance, which includes most everyone in some way!

That question “Who am I when the applause stops?” exposes false confidence quickly.

If my identity depends on followers, what happens when engagement drops? If it depends on my title, who am I after retirement? If it depends on being the smartest person in the room, what happens when someone knows more? If it depends on appearance, what happens as I age?

An identity anchored in enduring values can absorb change because the foundation remains intact.

Beliefs shape values. Values shape lives. And values lived consistently build a confidence that does not need constant staging.

A Better Way to Build Confidence

If you suspect some of your confidence has become more performance than foundation, there is no need for shame. There is simply an opportunity to rebuild it.

Start with an honest inventory. Write down what you know to be true about your strengths, skills, experience, character, relationships, and areas for growth. Not flattering. Not condemning. Accurate. I have a system called “Core Common Denominator” that helps identify some of those strengths and skills.

The next step is to identify three to five core values you are unwilling to trade for approval or advancement. Then look at your calendar, spending, relationships, work, and online presence. Do they reflect those values—or merely the image you want others to see?

Third, separate evidence from applause. A compliment can encourage you, but it should not be your only evidence of competence. Look for completed work, measurable progress, repeated experience, trusted feedback, and the ability to produce value for others. This is extremely important for creators because we tend to focus on our most recent work. It is why I have framed many of my album projects to at least see what I have accomplished. It doesn’t mean everything has been extremely successful. But it does mean that I have successfully produced and completed quality work.

Finally, become comfortable saying three remarkably confident sentences: I don’t know. I was wrong. I can learn.

Those statements do not weaken confidence. They remove the burden of pretending.

The strongest people I know are not those who are certain about everything. They are secure enough to face what is true.

The Success Trap

David Copperfield’s illusion worked because perception was carefully managed. For a few remarkable minutes, people could look toward Liberty Island and believe that something enormous was no longer there.

We can do something similar with success. We can become so focused on the visible markers—the audience, income, title, likes, accomplishments, invitations, or perfectly framed images—that we lose sight of something enormous inside ourselves: our true identity.

Or we can do the opposite. We can become so intimidated by other people’s polished presentations that our own abilities seem to disappear. Neither perception is reliable. Truth restores proportion.

You are not more valuable because the room applauds, and you are not less valuable because someone else has a larger platform. Your achievements matter, but they are not your identity. Your weaknesses are real, but they are not the whole story either.

Healthy confidence grows when what we believe about ourselves becomes increasingly aligned with what is true—and when our choices become increasingly aligned with our core values.

So perhaps the question is not, How can I look more confident? A better question is: What is true, what do I value, and am I living in alignment with both? That is confidence with a foundation.

And unlike an illusion, it does not disappear when the lights change.

I encourage you to take advantage of the Appendix on core values in my book “Stop Circling.” It is well worth spending the time to think through your values especially when facing the question “What’s next?”

Additional Resources

Get The SUMMIT on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/4z3mDIs

HALFERS Position Free Download

YouTube Channel: Mindset & Mental Strength for Mid-Career Growth

Personalized Mentorship: Thoughtful guidance for your next chapter creating clarity, confidence & momentum.

The Summit book by Deborah Johnson

Goal Setting Worksheets-free download!

Hero Mountain Summit- a 5-month "Power of After" journey to help you answer "What's Next?" with your desired lifestyle & maximized skills and experience.

FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks

YouTube Podcast Playlist: Women at Halftime/Power of After

False confidence manages perception. Healthy confidence is anchored in truth, strengthened by values, and secure enough to keep learning.

deborah johnson

Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author

If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning

2,073 words

The post False Confidence-The Success Trap appeared first on Deborah Johnson.

Moving Forward with Life’s Curveballs

Deborah Johnson — Fri, 25 Sep 2026 10:41:23 +0000

Life has a way of throwing pitches we never saw coming. A job disappears. A business fails. A relationship changes. A health challenge interrupts carefully made plans. Retirement arrives and the identity that came with a career suddenly feels less certain. Sometimes the curveball is far more painful: the death of someone we love.

On the Power of After Show, my conversation with Jack Gindi was a reminder that moving forward is not about pretending those experiences did not happen. Jack has experienced business success, bankruptcy, major career changes, the loss of two brothers, and most painfully, the death of his son. Yet his story is not primarily about loss. It is about what we do with the life that remains.

Jack described life as continually serving up circumstances we did not necessarily choose. The difference, he said, is what we do when those circumstances arrive. That idea applies whether we are facing profound grief or simply wondering, “What’s next for me?”

A curveball can change the direction of a life. But it does not have to end our ability to grow, contribute, or create meaning in the years ahead.

Self-Reflection: Stop Long Enough to Hear Yourself

One of the strongest themes in our conversation was self-reflection. Jack admitted that when he was younger, he learned how to make a living. His father taught him sales and business, and Jack became good at both. As a teenager, he helped transform his father’s small store into a much larger operation. By conventional standards, he was successful.

But there was a question no one had taught him to ask: Is this the life I really want?

That is a remarkably important question, especially at midlife and beyond. We can become so skilled at achieving, producing, meeting expectations, and taking care of everyone else that we rarely stop to ask whether the life we are building still reflects who we are becoming.

Jack’s answer is simple: create space for reflection. He meditates. He journals. He writes by hand. He allows thoughts to surface before immediately trying to organize, edit, or dismiss them. I identified with that because driven people are often very good at going and not nearly as good at stopping. Reflection can feel unproductive when a long list is waiting. Yet slowing down may be one of the most productive things we can do.

You do not need to write pages. A few words or bullet points can be enough. What am I feeling? What am I avoiding? What do I want now? What no longer fits? What keeps coming back to my mind? Writing by hand slows the thought process. Putting a pen to paper forces us to linger with an idea a little longer. Sometimes clarity needs that extra moment.

Curveballs that Can Sideline Us

Not every curveball is equal. Some are inconvenient. Others knock the wind out of us.

Jack’s story includes setbacks that could have permanently sidelined him. He spoke openly about losing his brothers, experiencing addiction when he was young, going bankrupt in his fifties and rebuilding, and eventually losing his son. There is no formula that makes those experiences easy.

What stood out to me was Jack’s determination not to make pain his permanent address. He had recorded a video earlier on the very day his son died in which he spoke about not allowing yesterday to steal tomorrow. Hours later, those words took on a meaning he never could have anticipated.

Moving forward after loss does not mean leaving the person or experience behind. It means refusing to let one devastating chapter become the only chapter left to write.

That principle applies to less dramatic setbacks too. A failed venture can convince us we are no longer capable. A layoff can become an identity crisis. A difficult relationship can make us withdraw from others. A technology challenge can persuade us we are too old to learn. One disappointment begins writing a story about everything else.

Our minds can quickly move from “This did not work” to “I can’t do this.” That is where a curveball becomes a sideline. It’s easy to get caught in the familiar stories of “I can’t,” “I don’t know how,” or “I’m not good enough.” The way forward is not to deny difficulty but to separate facts from the story we have built around them. These are questions we can ask ourselves:

What happened?
How do I honestly feel about it?
And now, what can I do with what is true?

Those questions restore movement.

Reinvention Has No Expiration Date

Jack’s life is also a strong example of reinvention. He left the business world he knew in New York, moved to Colorado, built a career in real estate, and eventually retired from it. Then, instead of treating retirement as the end of productive life, he returned to an interest he had carried for decades: helping others grow.

He began developing personal-growth and life-mapping programs and eventually created programs for young people. His work has reached children far beyond the audience he initially imagined, including hundreds of girls in Cameroon. That is a powerful picture of the Power of After.

We sometimes assume reinvention means discarding everything we have done and starting from zero. Usually, it is the opposite. Reinvention is often a recombination of what we already possess: experience, relationships, failures, skills, wisdom, interests, and hard-earned perspective. Jack did not become younger before starting something new. He became more experienced. That distinction matters.

At this stage of life, we may not have the same energy, responsibilities, or ambitions we had at thirty. But we possess something our younger selves did not: decades of information about what works, what matters, what we value, and what we no longer need to prove. The question is not, “Am I too old to begin?” A better question is, “What can I build now with everything I know?”

What Adds Value in the Years Ahead?

That question naturally leads to another: What actually adds value in the years ahead?

Jack described four pillars he uses in thinking about life: longevity, inner peace, family and friends, and economics and education. His point was that a successful life cannot be measured by income alone. That becomes increasingly obvious as the years pass.

Achievement matters. Financial stability matters. Meaningful work matters. But so do health, relationships, spiritual depth, peace, curiosity, and contribution. One of the great opportunities of the second half of life is the chance to redefine success with greater intention. Perhaps value now means mentoring someone younger. Maybe it means starting the small business you never had time to explore. It could mean volunteering, writing, teaching, consulting, creating, caring for family, or finally developing an idea that has sat untouched for years.

In an age filled with technology and AI, the deeply human abilities of self-awareness, social awareness, community awareness, and responsible decision-making become even more important. Experience has tremendous value when we stop sitting on it. You do not need a polished platform before you contribute. You do not have to become an influencer. You do not need to create something enormous. You need to notice where what you know can meet a need. Get our free Goal Setting Worksheets here!

Practical Steps for Moving Forward

So how do we move forward when life has thrown us a curveball—or when we simply know it is time for a new chapter?

First, make room for honest reflection. Turn off the noise for a few minutes. Journal, pray, meditate, walk, or simply sit quietly. Ask what you want this next season to contain and what may need to be released.
Second, tell yourself the truth. Separate what actually happened from the conclusions you have drawn about yourself because it happened. Failure is an event. Loss is an event. A career transition is an event. None of them, by themselves, define your remaining potential.
Third, inventory what you already have. Look at your skills, experience, relationships, knowledge, interests, and resources. The raw materials for your next chapter may already be sitting in front of you.
Fourth, take a risk. Jack shared that years ago he could hardly have imagined himself speaking publicly through hundreds of videos. He began by trying one. The first step did not require confidence in the entire journey. It required enough courage for one action.
Fifth, take a small step every day. Jack used a baseball metaphor I especially liked: you do not need to hit a home run every time. Hit a single. Then another. Let the bad pitches pass. Swing when the right opportunity comes.

Consistency compounds. A phone call. One page written. A class researched. A walk taken. A conversation started. A proposal sent. A new skill practiced. None looks particularly dramatic by itself, but repeated action changes direction.

And finally, do not underestimate mentorship and community. Moving forward is easier when someone can offer perspective, encouragement, experience, or simply the reminder to keep going. We were not designed to navigate every transition alone.

Moving Onward

Near the end of our conversation, we spoke of a couple words that have become especially meaningful: trust your journey. I like that because trust does not mean we understand every part of the journey. We usually do not. It means we refuse to assume that a detour, setback, or painful chapter has eliminated the possibility of purpose ahead.

Life’s curveballs can change us. Some should change us. They can force reflection. They can expose what no longer fits. They can deepen compassion. They can redirect our skills toward people who need them. They can remind us that time is valuable and that postponing what matters has a cost.

Moving forward does not require having the entire future mapped out. It requires enough clarity to take the next step. So perhaps today is not the day to figure out the rest of your life. Perhaps it is simply the day to stop, reflect, tell yourself the truth, recognize what you still have to offer, and take one small step toward using it.

You may have been thrown a curveball.
You may even have spent some time on the sidelines.
But there is still a game to play—and there is still value you can bring to it.

Additional Resources

More about Jack Gindi here: Jack Gindi

The Summit: Journey to Hero Mountain by Deborah Johnson: an inspiring journey to conquer self-doubt, fear, and criticism, including the protagonist’s own inner critic.

Power of After: What's Next Can Be Your Most Purposeful Chapter by Deborah Johnson

FREE Downloads: Goal Setting Worksheets ; Power of After 7 Ingredients for Success Guide

FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks

Deborah’s Music Products: https://djworksmusic.com/products/

YouTube Podcast Playlist (Subscribe!): Women at Halftime/Power of After

”

JACK GINDI

Jack Gindi—a father of four sons and grandfather of six—has walked through seasons of success, disappointment, and deep personal loss. Jack is living his own "Power of After," dedicating this season to creating a comprehensive personal growth system that equips children around the world for life. He created Life Mapping, helping people navigate change, discover purpose, and design meaningful next chapters.

You do not need to know the whole path forward. Reflect honestly, use what you already have, and take the next small step.

deborah johnson

Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author

If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning

1,407 words

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The Restoration Principle-How to Rebuild after a Setback

Deborah Johnson — Fri, 18 Sep 2026 16:56:08 +0000

The restoration principle was vividly illustrated in a place that stayed with me long after I left. This was Butchart Gardens on Vancouver Island in British Columbia. I knew little about it beforehand. It was simply part of a fun overnight adventure—a ferry ride from Friday Harbor, Washington, a little exploring around Victoria, and a visit to a beautiful garden. But what I discovered there was far more than beautiful flowers. It became one of the most vivid illustrations I’ve ever seen of the power of restoration.

There are moments in life when the landscape changes without asking our permission. A relationship ends or changes in a way we never expected. A business we poured ourselves into struggles. A job disappears. A health issue interrupts plans we thought were secure. Children leave home. Parents need care. A trusted friendship fractures. Retirement arrives and, instead of feeling like freedom, leaves us wondering who we are without the role that defined us.

Setbacks have many names, but they often leave the same question behind: What do I do with what remains?

Our first instinct may be to get back to normal—to restore life exactly as it was. But sometimes that isn’t possible. And sometimes it isn’t even desirable. That brings us to what I call the Restoration Principle: restoration is not simply returning something to its previous condition. It is taking what remains, understanding what has changed, and intentionally rebuilding toward something that can become strong, useful, and even beautiful again.

One of the most remarkable pictures of this principle can be found in that garden, The Butchart Gardens, on Vancouver Island in British Columbia, Canada.

From Barren Quarry to Beauty

In the early 1900s, Robert and Jennie Butchart moved to Vancouver Island, where Robert established a cement operation near rich limestone deposits at Tod Inlet. Limestone was valuable to the business, so the land was quarried for what it could produce.

Eventually, however, the limestone was exhausted. What remained was not a beautiful landscape. It was a depleted quarry—a deep, barren reminder of what had been removed. If you’ve ever seen a quarry, you know how barren—and sometimes deep-- it is. Jennie Butchart saw something different.

Rather than treating the exhausted quarry as useless land, she envisioned a garden. Beginning around 1912, topsoil was brought into the quarry by horse and cart. Can you even imagine how many loads of topsoil it would take? But she did it and started planting. Ivy was planted along the quarry walls. Trees, shrubs and flowers followed. Little by little, the depleted industrial site was transformed into what became the Sunken Garden.

The official history of The Butchart Gardens says the Sunken Garden took nine years to create. Today, the original quarry walls still rise around a landscape filled with paths, trees and flower beds. The quarry was not erased. It became part of the garden. That is the part of the story I find so powerful.

The depth of the quarry became the depth of the garden. The place that looked depleted became the very place where something extraordinary could grow. Restoration did not require pretending the quarry had never existed. It required seeing new possibility in the landscape that remained.

When our Own Landscape Changes

Life can leave us with its own versions of an exhausted quarry. A relationship changes, and suddenly routines, friendships, finances, holidays and even our sense of identity may change with it. We can spend enormous energy wishing the landscape still looked the way it did before. Restoration begins when we acknowledge what is true now and ask a better question: What can be built from here?

The same is true in business. Perhaps an idea that worked beautifully for years stops producing results. Technology changes. Customers change. A competitor enters the market. A partnership dissolves. We can keep digging the same quarry, hoping to find limestone that simply isn’t there anymore—or we can examine the assets that remain. If you’ve ever changed course in your business, you understand this.

Maybe you still have expertise. Relationships. Intellectual property. A customer base. A reputation. Skills. Hard-earned wisdom. The business model may need to change without declaring everything you built a failure.

Health challenges can be even more personal. A diagnosis, injury, surgery, or simply the realities of aging can force us to reconsider routines and expectations. Restoration may not mean getting our twenty-year-old body back. It may mean learning how to care for the body we have now, building strength where we can, changing habits, accepting appropriate help, and investing our energy differently. In each case, restoration starts with reality—not denial.

Restoration is Different from Replacement

We often assume that when something breaks, the solution is replacement. Replace the appliance. Replace the relationship. Replace the job. Replace the business. Replace the dream. Start over.

Sometimes replacement is necessary. But not always.

The Butcharts didn’t fill in the quarry and pretend it had never been there. Jennie worked with its contours. The walls, depth and history became part of the beauty. This was so apparent when walking along the paths, as they curved in and out and also rose in different areas.

That gives us an important distinction: restoration asks what can be retained, what must be released, and what needs to be rebuilt. After a setback, we can ask three simple questions: What remains valuable? What is no longer serving the future? What needs to be added for growth to occur?

Those questions change the conversation. Instead of asking, Why did this happen to me? we begin asking, What can I build from here?

That does not minimize grief. Some losses should be grieved. Some disappointments are genuinely painful. Restoration is not positive thinking pasted over a wound. It is the decision that the wound does not get to design the rest of the landscape.

The Work of Restoration

There is another detail in the Butchart story we should not miss: the transformation required work.

Topsoil had to be brought in. Plants had to be selected. Roots needed time to establish. The garden did not appear because Jennie had a beautiful vision one afternoon.

Our lives work the same way.

We often love the reveal but underestimate the rebuilding.

Get your Spot: Climb Your Summit Webinar

Restoring trust in a relationship may require repeated honest conversations and changed behavior. Rebuilding a business may require learning unfamiliar technology, letting go of an outdated product, or listening more carefully to customers. Rebuilding after a health setback may require months of small, unglamorous choices.

Restoration usually happens through repeated acts that seem unimpressive while we are doing them: one load of soil, one conversation, one changed habit, one phone call, one new skill, one boundary, one decision.

Eventually, those choices begin changing the landscape. Some of my favorite books talk about taking little steps, like Tiny Habits and the Power of Habit.

Don't Waste the Depth

One of the greatest temptations after a setback is to view the difficult season as wasted time.

But what if the depth created by that experience can eventually hold something it could not hold before?

A difficult relationship may teach us discernment and boundaries. A business failure may teach us what spreadsheets and success could not. A health challenge may reorder priorities. A career disruption may uncover abilities we had never needed to use. Grief can deepen compassion. Disappointment can clarify what matters.

Get our free Goal Setting Worksheets here!

None of that means we should romanticize suffering or claim every painful event was necessary. It means we can refuse to let pain have the final word.

The quarry was still a quarry. Limestone had been removed. The ground had been altered. But Jennie Butchart did not confuse altered with worthless. Neither should we.

Sometimes the very places where life has cut deepest become places where we develop the greatest capacity—for wisdom, empathy, resilience, faith, courage and purpose.

The depth does not have to be wasted.

A Simple Restoration Framework

If you are standing in a changed landscape right now, consider four steps.

First, recognize what has changed. Name it honestly. Restoration cannot begin while we are pretending the quarry is still producing limestone.

Second, take inventory of what remains. What strengths, relationships, resources, knowledge, faith, skills and opportunities are still available? Setbacks rarely erase everything, even when they initially feel as though they have.

Third, decide what needs to be brought in. Jennie brought topsoil into depleted ground. What is your topsoil? Perhaps it is new knowledge, counseling, medical guidance, a mentor, better systems, stronger boundaries, spiritual renewal, financial discipline, or simply rest.

Finally, plant for the future. Take one action that belongs to the life you are rebuilding rather than the life you lost.

That step may feel very small. Take it anyway. Restoration is rarely one dramatic decision. It is a direction supported by many decisions.

What Will Your Quarry Become?

Today, The Butchart Gardens is a National Historic Site of Canada and welcomes more than a million visitors annually. People travel from around the world to admire what grew from land once considered exhausted.

Think about that.

The quarry’s usefulness appeared to be over. In reality, one purpose had ended and another was waiting to be imagined.

That may be true for parts of our lives as well.

The end of a relationship as we knew it does not mean the end of meaningful connection. A business setback does not erase the entrepreneur. A career transition does not eliminate decades of experience. A health challenge does not remove our capacity for contribution. A season that looks barren does not get to decide what can eventually grow there.

We cannot always choose what gets excavated from our lives. We can choose what we begin planting afterward. That is the Restoration Principle.

Beauty is not always found in what was never broken. Sometimes it is revealed in what has been restored.

So if your landscape looks different today, resist the urge to dismiss it as ruined. Look carefully at what remains. Bring in what is needed. Plant deliberately. Give growth time.

And then keep moving. The quarry may be part of your story. It does not have to be the end of it.

Additional Resources

Get The SUMMIT on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/4z3mDIs

HALFERS Position Free Download

YouTube Channel: Mindset & Mental Strength for Mid-Career Growth

Personalized Mentorship: Thoughtful guidance for your next chapter creating clarity, confidence & momentum.

The Summit book by Deborah Johnson

Goal Setting Worksheets-free download!

Hero Mountain Summit- a 5-month "Power of After" journey to help you answer "What's Next?" with your desired lifestyle & maximized skills and experience.

FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks

YouTube Podcast Playlist: Women at Halftime/Power of After

The quarry may be part of your story. It does not have to be the end of it.

deborah johnson

Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author

If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning

1,726 words

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The Hidden Cost of Untapped Potential

Deborah Johnson — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 11:01:19 +0000

What happens to potential when it has nowhere to go?

Years ago, I became fascinated by an old structure on our property that I came to think of as a “well to nowhere.” From the outside, it looked as though it had been built for a purpose. Someone had invested time, labor, materials, and probably money into creating it. Yet it produced nothing. There was no useful flow of water, no meaningful destination, no return on the investment.

The structure remained, but its potential had been buried. From time to time we heard critters stirring below the heavy wooden lid, but there seemed to be no other purpose.

I think people can live that way, too.

We can spend years building careers, collecting experience, developing skills, and gaining wisdom, yet never fully tap what is inside us. We may be productive and responsible—even successful by conventional standards—while quietly recognizing that some of our best abilities are sitting unused.

That is the hidden cost of untapped potential. It rarely announces itself as failure. More often, it shows up as restlessness, boredom, frustration, disengagement, or the persistent question:

Is this really all there is?

When Showing Up Isn't the Same as Being Engaged

The numbers suggest that question is far from uncommon.

Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace 2026 report, based on 2025 data, found that only 20% of employees worldwide were engaged at work. In the United States, Gallup reports that 32% of employees were engaged, while half of U.S. employees said they had experienced a lot of stress the previous day.

Think about what that means. Millions of people are showing up every day, answering emails, attending meetings, completing assignments, and collecting paychecks without feeling genuinely connected to the work they are doing.

Gallup defines engagement as the involvement and enthusiasm employees have for their work and workplace. So disengagement is not necessarily laziness. A person can work very hard and still feel disconnected from the purpose of the work.

That distinction matters.

Sometimes we assume that if we are tired of our work, we simply need a vacation, a better attitude, or a new productivity system. Those things may help, but sometimes the deeper problem is not how much we are doing.

It is how little of who we are is being used in what we are doing.

The Strengths We Leave in the Ground

One of Gallup’s most compelling findings comes from its decades of research on strengths. Gallup reports that people who have the opportunity to use their strengths every day are six times more likely to be engaged at work. Its research also connects strengths use with higher performance and greater employee retention.

That should cause us to stop and think.

What if some of our dissatisfaction isn’t simply because we dislike our job? What if it is because the job uses only a fraction of what we have to offer?

Imagine someone who is naturally gifted at bringing people together but spends most of the day isolated behind spreadsheets. Or the creative problem-solver whose role requires strict adherence to processes with little room for innovation. Perhaps it is the gifted teacher who moved into administration because that was considered the logical promotion, only to discover that the new title removed them from the very activity that once energized them.

None of these people necessarily chose the “wrong” career.

But somewhere along the way, the connection between strength and contribution was lost.

That is when the well can begin leading nowhere.

Potential Has a Cost When it Goes Unused

We often talk about potential as though it were something inspirational: You have so much potential.

But potential carries responsibility. Unused potential has a cost.

There is the cost to the individual who spends years feeling underutilized. There is the cost to an organization that pays for a person’s time but never accesses their best thinking. There is the cost to families when frustration at work follows someone home. And there is a broader cost when capable people stop creating, mentoring, solving problems, serving others, or pursuing ideas because they have convinced themselves that their opportunity has passed.

The economic cost is significant as well. Gallup estimates that low global employee engagement cost the world economy $438 billion in lost productivity in 2024. Its newest 2026 report estimates the broader productivity cost associated with disengagement at approximately $10 trillion globally.

Those are enormous numbers, but behind them are individual stories.

A person with an idea who never voices it.
A leader who has stopped caring.
An entrepreneur who keeps postponing the venture.
An experienced professional who assumes younger people are now the ones with something to contribute.
A gifted communicator who spends years doing work that requires almost none of that gift.

Potential doesn’t disappear simply because we fail to use it. It often turns into frustration. I’m currently finishing writing the book that will be released in several months, Move Beyond: From Brokenness to Purpose. Its message is full of principles of restoration and rebuilding and the mindset it takes to do so.

Purpose Changes the Equation

In late 2025, Gallup reported that employees with a strong sense of purpose at work were 5.6 times as likely to be engaged as employees with a low sense of purpose. They were also less likely to experience burnout or to be looking for another job.

Purpose, then, is not merely an inspirational word we put on a poster.

It changes how we experience work.

That doesn’t mean everyone needs to quit a corporate position, launch a nonprofit, write a book, or start a business. Purpose can be expressed in countless ways. Sometimes the answer is not leaving your career but redesigning how you operate within it.

Perhaps you begin mentoring younger employees. Maybe you volunteer for projects that better use your strengths.

You could develop a skill you have neglected, teach what you know, begin a side project, or explore an opportunity that has been sitting in the back of your mind for years.

The important question becomes less:

“What job should I have?” and more:

“Where can what I do best make the greatest contribution?”

That is a very different question.

The Mid-Career Trap

Untapped potential can become especially noticeable in the middle and later stages of a career.

Early in life, progress is easy to measure. We graduate. Get the job. Earn the promotion. Buy the house. Raise the children. Build the résumé. Reach the next milestone.

Then something changes.

The ladder may no longer seem as interesting as it once did. The promotion that used to represent success may now represent more meetings and less freedom. Skills that took decades to develop may feel underused. We begin to realize there are fewer working years ahead than behind.

Get our free Goal Setting Worksheets here!

That realization can feel unsettling.

But it can also be tremendously clarifying.

Experience has given us something our younger selves did not possess: perspective.

We know more about what energizes us and what drains us. We have accumulated competencies, relationships, failures, victories, and hard-earned wisdom. We have enough history to recognize patterns.

The question is whether we will use them.

Your next chapter does not have to erase everything that came before it. In fact, some of the most meaningful work may come from recombining what you already know in a new way. I created the Core Common Denominator,® mentioned in several of my books, to help identify strengths, competencies, lifestyle and areas of passion. It’s a simple system, yet with time and thought, can be very revealing.

Redirect the Well

If you discovered that a well on your property had been built but its water was flowing nowhere useful, you probably wouldn’t stand beside it for the next twenty years complaining about the original design.

You would investigate.

Where is the source?
Where is the blockage?
Where could the water be redirected?
What could it nourish?

Then, if there was no solution, the decision may be made to take it out and plant something that would grow and flourish. We actually did this with our “well to nowhere” on our property. We took it out planted peach trees that give us fruit most every year. We can ask ourselves the same questions about what is unproductive in our life, then take action as needed. Consider these questions:

What do I consistently do well? Not merely what have you been paid to do, but what comes naturally to you? What do people repeatedly ask for your help with?

What gives me energy rather than continually draining it? Every meaningful pursuit requires effort, but some work leaves us tired and satisfied while other work simply leaves us depleted.

What strength am I barely using? Think beyond your current job description. Perhaps it is teaching, creating, organizing, leading, writing, encouraging, analyzing, designing, building, connecting, or solving.

Who could benefit from what I know? Potential becomes purpose when it moves beyond ourselves.

What is one small way I could redirect it now? You do not need to blow up your life to begin using more of your potential. Start a conversation. Take a class. Mentor someone. Volunteer. Test an idea. Write the first page. Make the phone call. Begin the project.

Small redirections can eventually change the entire destination.

Don't Build a Well to Nowhere

There is a difference between a life that looks productive and one that is producing what it was uniquely equipped to produce. It’s like putting makeup on and having nowhere to go, so we do nothing to change our situation.

We can become so accustomed to our routines that we stop questioning whether they are taking us anywhere. The paycheck arrives. The calendar remains full. Responsibilities get handled. From the outside, everything may appear fine.

But deep inside, we know when something valuable is sitting unused.

Your abilities were not developed merely to remain stored beneath the surface.
Your experiences—including the difficult ones—have taught you things someone else may need.
Your strengths are clues.
Your restlessness may be a signal rather than a problem.
And your accumulated wisdom may be more valuable now than it has ever been.

The goal is not simply to stay busy until retirement. It is to make certain that the years, skills, wisdom, and opportunities entrusted to us are flowing somewhere that matters.

So here is how to apply this: Take another look at the well. You may not need to dig an entirely new one.

You may simply need to redirect what is already there.

And if there’s no other solution, take it out and plant something that will grow and flourish.

Additional Resources

Get The SUMMIT on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/4z3mDIs

HALFERS Position Free Download

YouTube Channel: Mindset & Mental Strength for Mid-Career Growth

Personalized Mentorship: Thoughtful guidance for your next chapter creating clarity, confidence & momentum.

The Summit book by Deborah Johnson

Goal Setting Worksheets-free download!

Hero Mountain Summit- a 5-month "Power of After" journey to help you answer "What's Next?" with your desired lifestyle & maximized skills and experience.

FREE Resources and links: https://GoalsForYourLife.com/DJWorks

YouTube Podcast Playlist: Women at Halftime/Power of After

We can spend years building careers, collecting experience, developing skills, and gaining wisdom, yet never fully tap what is inside us.

deborah johnson

Thought Leader, Keynote Speaker, Author

If you are interested in growing and learning, check out our online courses here: Online Learning

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