On May 17, 2013, I received the call from my doctor that my second IVF procedure was a failure.
In that moment, I felt like my body had failed me. With all the power of modern medicine, I still could not will my body to do the one thing I so desperately wanted it to do.
I remember very clearly what came next: an overwhelming desire to run. More than anything, I wanted to feel in control of my body once more.
I had toyed with the idea of a half marathon ever since I started casually running a couple of years ago. But once I got that call, it became something I knew I had to do.
As the year progressed, my half marathon dream got pushed aside. But in January it resurfaced, especially as I committed myself to my One Little Word, thrive, in 2014.
So I signed up to run the Brooklyn Half Marathon. And I started running. When I started training at the end of January, I could only run a little more than 3 miles... slowly. But I hauled myself to the gym 4-5 mornings a week through the coldest and longest winter I've ever experienced, re-watching Friday Night Lights from the very beginning as I pounded out mile after mile on the treadmill (by the way, it's quite possible that show is even better the second time around). I almost made it through four entire seasons before it was finally warm enough to start running outside at the beginning of April.
There were highs, like finishing my longest training run of 11 miles three weeks before the race, and there were lows, like trying to run 9 miles late at night on a hotel treadmill during our trip to Disney in April after a full day at the park eating all the terrible things one eats while at Disney. I only made it 8.36 miles that night before I felt like I was going to be sick and couldn't go one step further. It wasn't pretty.
But on May 17, 2014, I ran 13.1 miles.
What a difference a year makes.
PS - I can't write about my Brooklyn Half experience without giving a shout out to my friend and old college roommate Mandy, who flew here from Phoenix to run this race with me. I don't think she knows it, but she was a huge motivator to me during my training, mostly because I kept reminding myself what an idiot I would look like if she traveled all the way out here and I couldn't run the race. So thanks for the motivation Mandy... maybe I'll be able to run as fast as you one day. ;)
In the days leading up to Claire's birthday last month, her top front tooth was dangling by a thread. I kept asking her if she wanted me to pull it out, but she refused. She insisted that she didn’t want to lose it until she was nineteen years old (I'm not sure where the arbitrary age came from... but she stuck with it).
Claire has already lost three teeth, but her “tiny teeth” on top with the gap in the middle have been a defining feature since she was a baby, and she wasn’t ready to lose that part of herself. She is the only one of my children who would truly never grow up if that were at all possible. She was adamant that she didn’t want the big tooth waiting in the wings to take that baby tooth’s place. And so, she hung on to that darn thing until the bitter end.
But the night before her birthday, it was time. The tooth was starting to look ridiculous – crooked and hanging down lower than her other teeth – so I finally convinced her to let me pull it out. And that is how she woke up as a six-year-old one baby tooth lighter and one step closer to growing up. Like it or not, the big tooth is on its way, Claire keeps getting older, and there's nothing either one of us can do to stop it.
Claire asked for a rainbow cake for her birthday again this year, and I was happy to oblige. (By the way, this time I used these cake pans and I loved the smaller scale of the cake.)
I think she's wishing for a trip to Paris here... aren't we all? I hope I can take her to see the Eiffel Tower in person one day soon.
Claire's six-year-old birthday interview:
My favorite fruit is: apples.
My favorite TV show is: Good Luck Charlie.
My favorite thing to eat for lunch is: bagels.
My favorite outfit is: purple Tea dress and leggings (the outfit she wore to her birthday party).
My favorite drink is: water.
The toy I love to play with most is: Playmobil.
Something that makes me scared is: bugs and spiders.
My favorite animal is: elephant.
My best subject in school is: math.
The thing I do the most awesomely is: play the violin.
If I could go anywhere in the world, I’d go to: Paris.
My favorite color is: pink and purple.
My favorite thing to do on the weekend is: spend time with my family.
The snack I could live on is: bunny crackers.
My best friend is: Sophie.
If I had one wish it would be: to live with my parents forever.
When I grow up, I’m going to become a: vet.
Here are my Project Life layouts for Weeks 5, 6 and 7 (click to enlarge):
I wanted to preserve the homemade Valentines that the girls made this year, so I created an extra layout for Week 7 that just showcases those. I think Ella's Valentine to Matt is my favorite... gotta love brutal kid honesty! :)
Products used:
My girls are trying to go without candy in 2014 (there is a cash reward at the end of the year if they make it), so I had to search out non-candy valentines for them to hand out to their classmates this year. Thank goodness for Pinterest. Ella will be handing out these in third grade, and I thought heart-shaped crayons would be perfect for Claire to take to kindergarten, so last weekend we whipped some up.
There are about a million tutorials out there for making these crayons and it really is an incredibly easy process, especially if you remember to soak your old crayons in hot water to get the wrappers off instead of trying to peel them off by hand (trust me, your fingers will thank you for this tip). The tutorial I used can be found here.
Once we had the crayons made, I couldn't find a card to go along with them that I loved, so I created a simple one of my own. You can download the free printable HERE.
Once you print these out and trim them down using the print guides provided (there are four to a page and they should each measure approx. 4x4 inches when trimmed), this is all you need to create your valentines:
- heart crayons
- regular tape or another form of adhesive (not pictured)
- 4x6 cellophane treat bags; I purchased mine at Michael's
- decorative washi tape
Have your child sign their name on the card first, then attach the crayon to the card with a piece of tape or other adhesive. A folded piece of regular Scotch tape worked just fine for me. If you use the Wilton Petite Silicone Heart Mold to make your crayons, they should fit perfectly in the space on the card. Then you just slip the card into the cellophane bag, fold the top of the bag back and secure with a strip of washi tape. You could also use a heart sticker or something similar to secure the bag.
Claire's teacher provided her with a sheet of label stickers that included the name of each child in her class (so smart - can you tell she has been teaching kindergarten for a while?), so we just attached a name sticker on the back of each bag.
Claire can't wait to pass these out... now we just cross our fingers that we actually end up having school on Valentine's Day! Yet another big winter storm is predicted to hit our area tomorrow. We have already had five snow days this year, so we are definitely all a bit winter weary right now!
At the end of last year, I quietly chose my One Little Word for 2014... thrive. 2013 for me was all about just making it through day by day - surviving - and as I got ready to turn the page over to a new year I was feeling really ready for something more.
Part of thriving for me is revisiting some of the things I love that I let fall by the wayside over the past year. Memory-keeping is one of those things. I have found that when I am actively recording my story through pictures and words, I tend to find more joy in everyday living and actively seek to live a more purposeful life.
And so this year, I'm back to doing Project Life. I let it go last year, and I missed it. Not to mention, my girls also noticed there was no album for 2013. I am following Cathy Zielske's lead and going super simple this time around. I am doing things 100% digitally, and so far I am loving it. Here are the first four weeks of the year (you can click each layout to see it larger):
Here's to thriving in 2014.
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After the Christmas Eve program, we drove home and put out cookies and milk for Santa. We had decorated cookies the day before and each girl picked out one of their own cookies to leave out. Claire chose that stocking in the middle with 28 red hots on it. We crossed our fingers and hoped that Santa liked spicy cookies.
On Christmas morning, Claire was thrilled to discover Santa had left her the one thing she'd asked him for - a snow globe. And then, not more than two hours later, she was dancing around with it when it slipped out of her hands and smashed to smithereens on the floor. Talk about a Christmas disaster. In true Claire style though, after shedding a few tears she took it all in stride. And a few days later, we found a surprise present from Santa on our doorstep with a new snow globe inside.
Ella was so excited to get the Molly doll she'd been hoping for. Since Molly was being retired by American Girl and had already sold out in stores and online, she was really nervous that she wouldn't get it. But Santa pulled through.
The girls took turn opening presents. That's Lucy in the background hunting for presents with her name on them. The whole morning we kept hearing, "Do you see L-U-C-Y? I found another L-U-C-Y!"
Patiently waiting her turn with an L-U-C-Y present tucked under her arm:
It didn't take Lucy long to change into her new princess dress and tiara, put a new outfit on her Bitty Twins, and take them for a walk around the house in their new double stroller.
And with that, Christmas is in the books. Until next year...
A few days before Christmas, we headed out to see Santa. I'm pretty sure it was the first time all three girls went willingly and no tears were shed. I guess that means they're growing up. (Sigh.)
Ella asked for an American Girl doll (Molly). Lucy asked for a "piggie" (gotta love the random three-year-old curve ball request). And Claire? All she wanted for Christmas was a snow globe.
On Christmas Eve we drove to New Jersey for the annual Christmas Eve program at Matt's brother's house.
It's funny the things that turn into traditions for your family that you would never have imagined, but since 2004 - before Ella was even born! - we have only missed two Christmas Eve programs with Thomas and Melissa's family (2007 & 2008), and that's only because we were living on opposite sides of the country during those two years.
Of course, Ella and Claire played their violins. Ella and I played together this year, and Claire almost refused to play at all (just like last year), but with a little coaxing from me she made it through her performance. I love the look of sheer determination/terror on her face.
It was so fun to have Matt's sister and her family participate in the program for the second year in a row since they always have the most creative performances. My favorite this year was Anthony & Matthew hula-hooping to Christmas Don't be Late by Alvin and the Chipmunks.
After the program, the cousins exchanged gifts.
And then we all headed to our separate homes to get ready for Santa!
I honestly can't imagine a Christmas without the Christmas Eve program, and neither can my girls! In fact, on Christmas night, after the present opening and all the other festivities, Matt asked Lucy what her favorite part of Christmas was. Her response? "The recital... the one where Ella and Claire played the violin at our cousin's house."
Last year, Claire and I went to see the New York City Ballet's Nutcracker, and we enjoyed it so much that this year I thought we should include Ella too.
Beforehand, the whole family drove into the city for brunch at The Smith. The girls all got hot chocolate and buttermilk waffles with strawberries and whipped cream, but the highlight for them was probably the photo booth in the basement.
After brunch we headed across the street to Lincoln Center for The Nutcracker.
I thought Lucy was still a little young to attend, so I only purchased three tickets for myself, Ella, and Claire. Matt was planning to spend some time in the city with Lucy while we were at the ballet. Well, Lucy was none too pleased about that. This was before she heard the news that she wasn't coming inside with us:
And this was after:
I like to think it is one of those photos the girls will all have a good laugh over one of these days.
While Ella, Claire and I went inside to see the ballet, Matt dealt with a very unhappy Lucy. He called it one of his more embarrassing New York moments as Lucy kicked and screamed and told him to "LET ME GO!" while he got dirty looks from passersby who were suspicious that he was kidnapping her.
Of course, all was forgotten with a trip to the candy store, as most things in a three-year-old's life are, and a happy Lucy greeted us afterward for the drive home. I promised her that next year she could come along too.
I can't wait.
One snowy Saturday in December, we embarked on our annual gingerbread houses.
If you know me, or have read my blog for any length of time, you know I take my gingerbread houses pretty seriously. I always do a house of my own:
And the girls each tackle their own small house:
Ella's house (left), Claire's house (middle), Lucy's house (right)
Matt's part in all of this is to perform whatever task Claire and Lucy give him to help them achieve their vision. This year his major contribution was creating those two colorful roofs on the top left and bottom:
See previous gingerbread pictures & posts here: 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012
Here are a few highlights from the time our elves Buddy & Sarah spent with us in December:
Gone fishing.
Claire tested positive for the flu in mid-December (even though she had a flu vaccine back in October!), and it looks like she passed it on.
Rudolph noses! Buddy & Sarah managed to paint the girls' noses red while they were sleeping.
Welcoming my mom the day after she flew in from Oregon.
Saying goodbye on Christmas Eve.
The girls woke up at the crack of dawn every single day to find Buddy & Sarah. There is a lot I didn't capture in photos as well, including the elves covering themselves in Band-Aids, making sugar snow angels, eating a plate of brownies, and hiding candy canes in the kitchen. Overall, they were pretty on top of their game this year. Rumor has it they may have purchased an elf tricks kit on Etsy to help them out a bit. I can't blame them - I'm sure it's hard to keep things interesting day after day! Ella said she wished that the elves could live with us year round, but I think they are probably enjoying their little break in the North Pole right now. ;)