The Geometry of Love

An evolving field of research and applied practice

Foundation

Ways of Working

Current expressions of the work include keynote speaking, workshops and seminars, leadership and executive dialogue, advisory conversations, and a suite of programmes grounded in the seven principles of structural Love — Trust, Congruence, Reciprocity, Psychological Safety, Presence, Sovereignty, and Compassion.

The Love MBA
The Sovereign Perception Method
The Love-Led Leader’s AI Mastery
The Leader’s Listener
The Resonant Leader’s Discovery
The Virtual Advisory Circle

The Geometry of Love explores how Love generates the geometry of coherence within individuals, organisations, and evolving systems.

Leadership, at its best, is coherence made visible.

Has anyone ever asked you what ‘LOVE’ means to you?

Have you ever thought about the definition of LOVE
that predominates in your life?

 For most of us, the answer is ‘no’.

Very few of us ever get the opportunity to consider this subject – it’s not part of our usual areas for discussion.

It is, though,  proving to be transformative – a profound and illuminating experience which is creating beneficial behavioural change for the people I’ve been conversing with about Love as part of my research on Love in organisations and Love – at work generally in our lives. 

Below are 3 key questions I’ve been asking, here in the form of a short survey.

You will  find it thought-provoking and life-enhancing.

In conversation last week with a friend about personal growth and development, he mentioned that he prefers the word ‘evolution’ to that of ‘change’. His rationale is that ‘change’ creates fear in people. As creatures of habit, most people prefer things to stay the same and worry that change must mean something uncomfortable. It prompted me to think about the terms we use and to ask if change and evolution is the same thing, and when and where the words are best applied.

Changing a Light Bulb?

There are some things that definitely require to be changed not evolved. For example, I definitely change my light bulbs, they do not evolve. (The type of bulbs I use may have evolved over the years, from tungsten to energy saving, but the act of replacing them when spent is a definite change). Neither do I evolve my bed linen, my vacuum cleaner bags nor the filters in my water jug. These, though are all inanimate objects. And people are, of course, different….

Taller, More Upright, Rounder…..

The way I perform these tasks may well have changed over time – or even evolved – so perhaps the differentiation comes from here. Behaviours, skills, strategies, beliefs, opinions, systems can evolve. The human body can evolve – with better nutrition in the developed world, we’re now  much taller, and with the advent of the contraceptive pill, women’s body shapes have changed – or evolved. To say nothing of the way the human brain has evolved over thousand of years into its current tripartite embodiment. Human thinking can also evolve, we can learn to use our inner resources more effectively, we gain by education, and our way of life has changed dramatically since the beginning of life on earth – discoveries, experiments and inventions have brought radical changes and alterations to how we conduct the daily business of living as human beings on our planet.

Now, if we are encouraging people to change – can we more easily ask them to evolve, or does evolution take place naturally, almost unconsciously, in response to outside conditions but with no deliberate intervention?

Changing or Transforming?

Is transformation perhaps the more encouraging word to use? Transformation has a certain magic about it, a positive sense of something happening which offers a better, happier outcome. Or is that simply my interpretation? Does transformation contain an inbuilt element of wisdom and improvement, which change does not? There can be subtle changes, but somehow a subtle transformation does not sit well, meaning-wise, for me. Change can be for better or worse, but in my neurology, transformation is equated with betterment.

Frogs into Princes, or Vice Versa

For example, I would say ‘the witch changed the prince into a frog’ – and ‘the fairy godmother transformed the pumpkin into a splendid carriage’. Then, I suppose, if the prince wanted to become a frog for some reason, he’d consider it an improvement….And now the ‘Shrek’ movie comes to mind when the princess chooses life as an ogre because of her love for Shrek.

The Pygmalion Effect

Now I’m onto Pygmalion, whose dedicated thought and intention transformed a marble statue into a living woman for him to love…..maybe he changed his thoughts, evolved his way of being… and thus transformed and even transmuted a substance which then transformed his life….a process to realise and manifest what he wanted most?

I could get really deep into the linguistics here – so many nuances and shades of meaning, but I will stop for now.

Change, evolve, transform – all have their place, and it’s fascinating to continue exploring their meaning in our lives.

© Christine Miller

An anthropologist proposed a game to the kids in an African tribe. He put a basket full of fruit near a tree and told the kids that who ever got there first won the sweet fruits. When he told them to run they all took each others hands and ran together, then sat together enjoying their treats. When he asked them why they had run like that as one could have had all the fruits for himself they said:
”UBUNTU, how can one of us be happy if all the other ones are sad?”

 ‘UBUNTU’ in the Xhosa culture means: “I am because we are”

It’s not a word that currently sits easily in the vocabulary or ethos of the typical working environment. In fact, it jars the sensibilities of many when used in association with the workplace. 

But it’s becoming more and more obvious that Love is a key ingredient (if not THE key ingredient) to successful, sustainable organisations of all kinds.

Caring, compassion and a greater regard for the whole environment, with evidence that companies are taking a genuinely responsible position and are actively seeking to be better places and be a contribution to the world, rather than a drain on limited resources.

I have done two years of research into the meaning of love in organisations, finding out about love at work, and love working, with leaders, workers and other stakeholders in many different environments from prisons to universities, global corporations to local charities – research which has revealed that whether the word ‘Love’ is acceptable terminology or not – it is undeniably present in successful workplaces with happy employees and supporters. In fact, it is present in every aspect of our lives, and it is the fuel that can fire the transformation to a world where there is balance, happiness and fulfillment.

“Without love, there is no life.”

~ Mahatma Gandhi

(Agapornis) Their name stems from the parrots’ strong, monogamous pair bonding and the long periods which paired birds will spend sitting together.

I was thinking of an emblem or motif for the ‘LoveWorks’ project and book, and Lovebirds sprang to mind as a little messenger I could have decorating the pages and drawing attention to particular points.

Here’s the first I’ve created.

And another in sketch form

His Holiness The Dalai Lama –
The Embodiment of Compassion

Listening to the Dalai Lama sharing His experiences and thoughts, one of the aspects which most impressed me was the amount of laughter – both from himself and from His audience. There is warm heartedness, humility and a lightness of spirit which is very apparent in His way of speaking, and His words are aimed directly at the hearts of His listeners. His message of compassion and loving kindness is based on common sense and practical living, and he is clear in asserting His belief that:

“The purpose of life is for happiness, to survive happily”

One of His central teachings about the development of compassion is based on the importance of childhood influences, particularly the effects of parenting. He reflects on His own childhood, and says he believes that mothers are the starting point of loving kindness. He describes His own mother’s simplicity, an uneducated village woman from a farming background, and immensely warm hearted. Contrasting her love and gentleness with the more disciplinarian approach of His father, he concludes that had he spent more time in His early years with His father he would probably not have been the same person.

“I believe that my altruistic mind and my compassion – the very seeds of that mind I got from my birth and the next few months and years with my mother – that was the real starting point to raise my model of loving kindness.”

He goes on to say to parents:

“What I say is this – give maximum affection to your children. That is very essential to bring us a happier humanity. The main hope for humanity relies on our future generations. So families with children have a special role – to give maximum affection to your children.
And parents – particularly mothers – spend more time with your children

© Christine Miller All Rights Reserved

A woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard.

She did not recognize them. She said “I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry.
Please come in and have something to eat.”

“Is the man of the house home?” they asked.
“No”, she replied. “He’s out.”

“Then we cannot come in”, they replied.

The Husband Returns

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. “Go tell them I am home and invite them in!”
The woman went out and invited the men in. “We do not go into a House together,” they replied.
“Why is that?” she asked.

One of the old men explained: “His name is Wealth,” he said pointing to one of his friends,
and said pointing to another one, “He is Success, and I am Love.”
Then he added, “Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.”

Wealth Success and Love

The woman went in and told her husband what was said.
Her husband was overjoyed. “How nice!!” he said. “Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!”
His wife disagreed. “My dear, why don’t we invite Success?”
Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house.
She jumped in with her own suggestion: “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!”

Choosing the Guest

“Let us heed our daughter-in-law’s advice,” said the husband to his wife. “Go out and invite Love to be our guest.”
The woman went out and asked the three old men, “Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.”
Love got up and started walking toward the house.
The other two also got up and followed him.

Which Comes First

Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?”

The old men replied together: “If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would’ve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.”

“Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success”