We’re making up stories many times a day, every day, about what other people are thinking, why something happened, what’s going to happen next, and what it means about us.

If someone doesn’t respond to your proposal and you decide they thought it was too expensive. 

Three people unsubscribe after an email, and you think, Crap, I’m annoying people. 

You promote something, and enrollment doesn’t happen as quickly as you expected, so obviously nobody wants it, and your audience is tired of hearing from you.

Or you see somebody in your industry seemingly blowing up and decide you’re behind and should probably be doing what she’s doing.

But none of those things are facts. They’re stories you made up.

So if you’re going to make up a story anyway, why not make up one that feels better?

Maybe the person who hasn’t responded to your proposal got slammed this week and hasn’t even looked at it yet. Maybe those three unsubscribes are people who aren’t a match and are making room for the people who are. Maybe a quieter enrollment doesn’t mean people don’t want what you’re offering. You just haven’t found the message that makes the right people lean in yet… or they’re getting their finances together to enroll.

The tricky part is that some of our stories have been repeated so many times, we’ve forgotten that we made them up in the first place.

“I suck at follow-up.”

“My audience is too small.”

“People aren’t spending right now.”

“I’m inconsistent.”

“I’m terrible at tech.”

“I can’t charge that much.”

“I have to work really hard to make good moola.”

We say these things like they’re facts about ourselves or the world. Then we start collecting evidence to prove them true. Every no becomes proof that people aren’t spending. Every unanswered email proves people aren’t interested. Every slow week proves something isn’t working.

Meanwhile, we can have evidence of the exact opposite sitting right in front of us and barely notice it.

I caught myself making up a whole bunch of crap during our recent Super-Synced launch.

I really wanted to record a down & dirty CliffsNotes version of one of my masterclasses because I knew a lot of people couldn’t attend live. We don’t do replays; the content was really useful, and I knew people would love having the shortened version.

But there was no room in our promo schedule for another email. I didn’t have time to edit my slides and record another training. And I was also telling myself, I don’t want to send another email and annoy people.

It just felt like too freaking much on my plate.

So I let myself off the hook. I decided I didn’t have to record it. I didn’t have to squeeze it into the schedule. I didn’t have to decide whether sending another email was right or wrong. I could just NOT do it.

Ahhhhhhh.

Once I felt the relief of not having to do anything, I stopped being attached to whether the training happened or not. I decided I’d just do what felt good.

Literally an hour later, I thought, I have time. I want to do this right now.

So I did. I recorded it, and we sent it out.

Nothing about my schedule had magically changed in that hour. My story had changed. And once I wasn’t pushing against something I thought I had to do, I could actually feel into what I wanted to do.

Sometimes the better story isn’t even about convincing yourself that something fabulous is going to happen. Sometimes you just need a story that gives you relief.

I learned that in a much bigger way last year when our son was in the hospital for 45 days.

We had so many loving people giving us advice about supplements, treatments, resources, and things that might help him. I was incredibly grateful for it, but I also started telling myself that I needed to follow up on every single suggestion.

Because what if I didn’t?!

What if the one thing I didn’t investigate was the thing that could help him thrive and get well?

You can imagine how freaking stressful that story became.

I finally realized I couldn’t keep doing that to myself. I needed a new story, and the one I chose was:

Our son is well no matter what we do or don’t do.

Whatever we choose to do to support him is what he needs. I don’t have to chase down every possibility in order for him to be well.

That story gave me relief when I desperately needed it.

And THAT is what I want you to pay attention to with the stories you’re telling yourself.

You don’t need to take “Nobody wants what I’m offering” and replace it with “EVERYONE IS DYING TO WORK WITH ME!”

Your brain might call bullshit on that one. 😂

Just catch yourself when you’re stating a story as if it’s a fact and ask yourself, Do I actually know this is true?

Two people said no this week is a fact.

But… Nobody wants what I’m offering is a story.

Someone didn’t respond to your email is a fact.

They’re not interested is a story.

Your launch didn’t bring in as many people as you wanted is a fact.

This isn’t working is a story.

Once you separate what actually happened from what you’ve decided it means, you get to choose what you want to make up next.

Maybe it’s, “Two people said no. That tells me absolutely nothing about the next person I talk to.”

Maybe it’s, “There are a hundred reasons she may not have responded yet.”

Maybe it’s, “I don’t have to figure this out right now.”

Or one of my personal favorites:

This doesn’t have to mean anything.

You’re probably never going to stop making up stories. I sure as hell haven’t.

But you CAN start noticing which ones make you feel like crap, stressed, behind, scared, or like you need to force something to happen.

Then make up something better.

What story are you telling right now that you’ve mistaken for the truth?

And what could you make up instead that gives you some freaking relief?

You may not notice them, but even when you’re in a slump… they’re there.

An idea for a workshop. An invitation to speak. A collaboration. A cool way to work with clients. A person you suddenly feel nudged to reach out to.

But the thing is…

Grand ideas and exciting possibilities don’t automatically put moola in my account.

Neither do random acts of visibility, networking, planning, or creating.

You can be incredibly inspired AND incredibly busy and still wonder why your business isn’t growing the way you want it to.

The missing piece?

Once inspiration strikes, you need intention, planning, and strategy to turn that inspiration into business growth.

Inspiration is the beginning, not the whole plan.

Let’s use speaking as an example.

Over the years, I’ve been invited to speak on podcasts, interviews, summits, trainings, and virtual and in-person events.

When it’s something I can easily do from my house, and the audience is aligned, I’m likely to say yes. I genuinely enjoy this way of delivering my message; it’s easy for me, and I see it as moola coming in, even if the payoff isn’t immediate.

But I don’t just put the date on my calendar, give the interview, and hope somebody eventually hires me.🤞🏼

The minute I say yes, I start thinking about how I can leverage the heck out of it.

This is what my process looks like:

1. Decide what you want to talk about

I choose my content based on who will be listening, how much time I have, and what I’m currently focused on in my business.

I don’t randomly choose a topic just because I can teach it.

I want the topic to genuinely help the audience AND naturally connect to the work I want to do more of.

2. Decide where you want people to go next

This is where a lot of great opportunities fall flat.

You deliver fantastic content, people love you…and then what?

Before I ever speak, I know what I want an interested person to do next.

Maybe I invite them to a complimentary resource or training. Maybe there’s a natural next step into one of my programs. Sometimes my only goal is to bring them into my world so I can continue the relationship.

Because someone hearing me for the first time may not be ready to work with me immediately.

That’s perfectly fine.

They may read my emails for three months, six months, or three years before the timing is right.

The opportunity doesn’t have to produce immediate moola to be valuable. But it should lead somewhere.

3. Create a way to continue the relationship

One interview, conversation, event, or inspired idea doesn’t have to do all the heavy lifting.

The magic is often in what happens afterward.

How will you continue the conversation?

How will people hear from you again?

How will you remind them of what they learned and help them take the next step?

I love email for this because it gives me a way to continue delivering value, sharing my perspective, and inviting people deeper into my world.

Instead of treating the event as a one-and-done experience, I turn it into the beginning of a relationship.

4. Get intentional about the outcome AND the experience

This is probably the most important piece for me.

Before I move forward with an inspired idea, I get clear about what I want it to create.

More clients?

More visibility?

New relationships?

More people in my community?

Sales of a particular program?

A pathway to something bigger?

I also decide how I want to feel while I’m doing it.

Energized? Spacious? Powerful? Playful? Connected?

Now the idea is no longer some random thing I’m squeezing onto my to-do list. It has a purpose. It fits into the bigger vision for my business.

Don’t create something just because it’s cool.

Years ago, one of my clients gave me the idea to turn my Speed Dial the Universe Journal into an app.

I loved the idea.

But “Ooooh, an app would be cool!” wasn’t enough reason to spend the time, energy, and resources creating one.

Once I decided to pursue it, I started thinking about the bigger picture.

How could the app introduce more people to my work?

What would make it genuinely valuable?

What would make someone want to continue learning from me after using it?

The content, features, tuition,n and even the keywords used to find it were intentional.

Because creating something cool that goes nowhere is just an expensive hobby.

The same is true for almost every inspired idea in your business.

Before you pour your energy into it, ask:

• Why am I doing this?

• What do I want it to create?

• How does it connect to the bigger picture of my business?

• What is the natural next step for someone who loves it?

• How can I leverage this one idea instead of constantly creating the next thing?

And one of my favorite questions:

How can this be easier, more profitable AND more satisfying than I originally imagined?

You don’t need fewer inspired ideas. You need to become more intentional about what happens after inspiration strikes.

Take a look at the ideas, projects, and possibilities you’re excited about right now.

Instead of immediately asking, “What do I need to do?”

Ask yourself:

“How can I turn this inspiration into something that supports the bigger business I want to create?”

That’s when an inspired idea stops being another random act of business…

… and starts becoming a building block for the business that would blow your mind.

Internally, you roll your eyes, throw up your hands, and become exasperated.

There’s an easy way to help them become your 5-Star Client… educate them on how to be one.

You train your customers how to behave through your mindset, systems, and policies, or lack thereof.

You’re the one who lets them pay late or default on payments. (I’ve been there and hated myself for it!) You’re the one who lets them reschedule a bazillion times.

When you notice a client repeatedly getting on your last nerve, it’s time to have a little chat.

Sometimes, they’re not bad clients.

You just haven’t fully done your job as a leader of yourself and your company.

These irritating clients inspire YOU to do better. They call forth the leader in you.

You should thank them for irritating you. 😉

I’ll tell you how I educate my clients and customers, and maybe you can steal a few of my strategies.

When a potential client inquires about my services…

…I tell them exactly what to expect.

Once they become a client, I make sure they know what happens next. During their first appointment or class, I give them an overview of what working together will look like. I always ask for feedback, too.

When I see something not working, like a pattern of having to hunt down a client for their appointment, I address it.

I tell them what I see and ask how they think we should correct it. If I still experience the problem, I restate how we need to move forward.

Usually, things self-correct after the first time.

Some business owners have less tolerance than me, but you have to do what feels good to you.

I redesign the alliance with a client if I notice it’s getting stale or they’re not holding up their end of the relationship.

I tell them it’s their responsibility to ask for what they need, when they need it. I tell them they can ask for the moon; it’s my responsibility to tell them if it’s outside the bounds of my ideal way of working.

When a customer buys a product from me, I tell them exactly what they’ll get with that product.

I follow up with emails to make sure they are using what they buy.

If they use it and like it, they’re a raving fan. If they buy it and don’t use it, nobody really wins.

In my business, I do a ton of educating around their responsibility to use what they’ve purchased and make it work for them.

I also tell people on my website, in person, in articles, and in interviews what my ideal client looks like. I know their qualities, what they do, and what they’re passionate about.

They know up front if they’re a fit.

The most important thing I do is tell them about my philosophy.

If they don’t buy into it up front, they’ll be resistant and rebellious. They have to know about the way I work and my style.

People make a lot of assumptions about how you’re supposed to be, and I want to dispel those fast.

I will bend over backward for my clients and customers, but one thing they should never expect is a long email. And I let them know.

It avoids many hurt feelings.

I hate typing. It’s that simple.

Education. Enlightenment. Agreement to the terms.

How you want your payment and when. Your rescheduling policies. Return policies. How you communicate. What you expect from them. What they can expect from you.

These things often need to be talked about more than once.

It’s simply good customer service.

And if you’re wondering what you need to educate your clients about, start with whatever is irritating you.

Are they paying late?

Rescheduling repeatedly?

Expecting things that aren’t included?

Not using what they purchased?

Communicating in a way that drives you bonkers?

Expecting a response faster than you want to give one?

Every recurring irritation is a clue.

Ask yourself:

What expectation, boundary, or way of working have I assumed they should know… but never actually taught them?

Because your clients aren’t mind readers.

And most of all, educating them helps YOU get what YOU desire most.

What client behavior is irritating you right now… and what do YOU need to communicate, clarify, or change so it stops happening?

You know the importance of goals, so you make them. You know what a bad habit looks like, and you notice when you’re doing the thing that sabotages your progress.

But knowing isn’t always enough.

How do you quit doing the stuff that pulls you away from your goals and do more of what moves you toward them?

Create a structure that supports and helps you practice a good habit.

Just one goal can take many structures to support it. Which structure is ideal? The one that inspires and doesn’t feel like a chore! 

One structure that works well with exercise is a 90-day challenge. But even 30 days works. My workout studio used to host the Little Black Dress Challenge. The person who went to the most classes in one month would receive a gift. We put star stickers on a chart each day we attended a class. 

What I love about this structure is that it was focused on one thing: Increasing our attendance. We were motivated by prizes, stars on a chart, and the possibility of looking “hot” in our little black dresses. 

It worked for me! I began going to class one more day a week. Then it became a habit. And I felt soooo good after each class, which moved me closer to my goal of having a rocking body! 

One of my friends from the gym wanted accountability with her workouts. So if she doesn’t show up for her workout, she pays me $50. This is one way I prefer not to
make money. And only once has she ever had to pay me money. 

I used this same structure with a group of friends years ago, and I got to my goal weight within a couple of months. In fact, all of us met our goals! 

One of my girlfriends just told me that she wrote in my Speed Dial the Universe Journal for 70 days straight. When she told me what she created in profits for those 70 days, it floored me! Guess who began writing in her journal daily? 

Here’s another cool structure posted on Facebook by Kat Tansey: 

Get a LARGE jar or container. Fill it with notes about all the good things that happen… list all the good things that you experienced or received and then drop that piece of paper in your container. I recommend you do this EVERY DAY and on New Year’s Eve next year, dump out all those little pieces of paper and review them to see all the amazing and awesome things that happened over the year! 

When my son was a toddler, he used to throw a fit when it was time to brush his teeth or get dressed. So we made a sticker chart to make these daily tasks worth doing. And he did. We also thought a fun tool might help with the brushing. Santa delivered a vibrating toothbrush that he would run to in the morning! 

Some structures use accountability; others use rewards. Sometimes it’s simply about finding a way to practice the new habit that makes it easy. 

When I have a water bottle in every room in the house, I drink more water. I just need to make it easy to remember! And keeping lemons and cucumbers in the fridge to slice into the water helps even more! 

Years ago, I hired a coach for creating more flow in my home and business. I was going to postpone it for a couple of months and then thought, “The one thing I want most right now is a feeling of spaciousness so I can be more creative in my work!” Plunking the money down for her services created immediate accountability (and excitement!) for me. 

What is your one big business goal that could easily be supported by practicing one new habit?

And what are one or two structures that would make that practice easier, more fun, or practically impossible NOT to do?

Create the structure. Then let the structure support you. =)

Listen to this…

Years ago, I was right in the middle of watching American Idol and my stomach began cramping. I thought it must be a gassy tummy and assumed it’d go away shortly. I was wrong. I barely slept a wink that night because of the intense pain.

I had a very important list of tasks for the business that needed to be done the following day, but they had to be chucked out the window. I couldn’t focus or tap into my creativity with the doubling-over pain.

I called one of my babysitters to come over that night to help with the kids because my mate was working late. Thirty minutes before her scheduled arrival time, she had to cancel. I wanted to cry. I called the rest of my tribe for help, and everyone was unavailable.

There was only one thing left to do … make peace with my situation.

At the time, I had a three-year-old who never stopped talking and a one-year-old whose main mission was to climb up to high places that made me fear for his life. There was no way I could chase my baby or even lift him up. Plus, I had a raging headache. The pain was so bad that the odds of us all surviving the night were slim.

But the oddest thing happened.

Once I surrendered to having to take care of them while crazy sick, things went pretty smoothly. More smoothly than any evening I remember. My oldest son fetched me anything I asked for, kept hugging and kissing me, and was simply an angel.

It’s the same strategy I used the year prior in the final quarter of 2011 to create my most profitable year yet. And that’s saying a lot because it didn’t look like I was even going to reach six figures at the end of August that year.

My knee-jerk reaction was to panic. But I know that never helps.

I decided to make 100% peace with my pitiful numbers.

I even stopped caring about sales. If people bought from me, great. If they didn’t, then that was fine, too. I really trusted that somehow, some way, my finances would turn around.

And they did.

Not only did they skyrocket, but it happened lickety-split. Once the money began to pile up, I began asking for more. I wanted to stay in appreciation, but I wanted this to be more than a one-time avalanche of extreme prosperity.

Here’s what I noticed about my mindset on the way to prosperity…

I wasn’t afraid that my good luck would leave, but I was also at peace if it did.

As I released the negative emotions I had around money, my financial situation began to flip.

I promise there was no other secret marketing strategy.

My secret is making peace with wherever I’m at, especially when things aren’t going my way.

Making peace doesn’t mean you have to like what’s happening.

It doesn’t mean you settle for less than what you want or decide, Welp, I guess this is as good as it gets.

It means you stop fighting with what’s true right now.

Okay, these are my numbers.

This launch didn’t go the way I wanted.

I don’t have as many clients as I want.

This is where I am right now. And I’m not going to beat myself up or freak the freak out about it.

Because once you stop arguing with what is, you can put your energy toward what you want next.

It’s not really a secret. It just challenges your business mind to believe that making peace could be the thing that shifts you out of scarcity and back into possibility.

You may default to mega action when money is needed. And the action is usually driven by the same energy that created the mess in the first place… stress!

I also have to continuously make peace with the fact that I am the creator of the messes in my life. Often, that’s the hardest pill to swallow.

But once I do, I feel good again.

Back in my power and having fun.

Where in your business or finances are you fighting with what is?

What would it look like to make 100% peace with it?

You’d have to give up judgment and shame. And please don’t try to make it mean something about you or your future.

Then ask yourself…

Now that I’m not fighting with where I am, what would I LOVE to create from here?

Making peace isn’t giving up on what you want.

It’s giving up the fight with where you are so you can have a whole lot more fun creating where you’re going.

I signed up for a leadership course that was a yearlong process through The Coaches Training Institute. I was a young whippersnapper, but had been through other leadership training and felt like I was ahead of the curve. Hilarious, because a real leader doesn’t think that way.

There were many opportunities for us to speak ‘on stage’ and facilitate the group. I was so busy trying to do the exercise right and worrying about how I performed that I missed the queues to improve my leadership skills.

If I could do it over again, I’d be hungry for feedback to create learning for myself. I’d be eager to be present, do my best, and trust that it would work out. 

Instead, my fear was running the agenda, and I felt totally uncomfortable when I was standing in front of my peers. I wasn’t having fun, and my results proved it.

Every profitable decision I’ve ever made started out feeling uncomfortable.

Increasing my pricing.

Speaking on bigger stages.

Launching new programs.

Hiring help.

Asking someone to be my client.

None of them felt natural at first.

My bottom line increased because I stopped letting fear make my decisions.

These days, when I’m stretching out of my comfort zone, I ask for as much pertinent data — feedback, input, masterminding, and help — as I possibly can. I ask powerful questions about the things I’m wary of or need more expertise. I admit my ignorance or fears on the subject at hand so that I can transform it into knowledge and results.

You may find yourself sulking back into your comfort zone when instead you really want to stretch. Maybe you want to offer a new service but you don’t know how it would all come together. Maybe you want to expand your business by hiring a team member or mentor but your lack of money gets in the way of taking the next step.

Take on the fear. Untangle the old stories, reality and intent. Face what is so, and let that drive you into a passion for taking on the task or dream with excitement and vigor.

Become a masterful questioner of those who have gone before you. Pick your mentor’s brain about how they achieved success and stayed sane. 

Go to your leading edge and feel the thrill of the ride! Go big but prepare with facts, strategy, and intent. 

What are you avoiding that you know would shove you into a higher profit set point?

• Even if you failed at this very thing before, are you willing to be a detective and scout out solutions to make it work for your business?
• Who can you ask for help, mentoring or expertise?
• What if you laid your butt on the line and told others that you are going for the dream and backed it up with action?

The thrill of business is letting each setback or the feeling of procrastination inspire you to do something even better.

The experience of doing something you’ve dreamed of, even when it seems outrageous to your ego mind.

Your Inner Business Expert knows it’s possible otherwise you wouldn’t have been given the inspiration to articulate the desire.

I urge you to do something today to transform your fear into power. In turn, you’ll watch profits increase with your enthusiasm for the dream in progress. This is where the juice happens!