Menopausal Mother

Fly On The Wall With The Queen Of Decluttering

2026-09-18T08:05:12.725-04:00

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, three of us are welcoming you into our homes to see what a fly might see---or overhear!

The nosy fly already knows that since camping is still out of the question right now (hello, Florida heat!), we've just been hanging out with the family and our friends. We're making the best of the hot days here — boat rides, midnight karaoke with our friends, relaxing by the pool, dining out, and hosting game nights. So far, it has been a lot of fun and very relaxing, which we need before hitting the road next month for our new RV adventures.

***(That photo is of a boat shaped like a car, ha-ha!)***

Before that, however, I just learned that Hub's former work friends gifted us box seats at the Chiefs/Dolphins game on Sept. 27th!! We have never seen our beloved Chiefs play in R-L, so this is a bucket-list item I can finally check off!! GO CHIEFS!!!!

In the meantime, since my boss/editor is out of town for five weeks, work has been slooooooow this month. For years, my husband has been begging me to Marie Kondo our house, but I always had too many writing deadlines as my excuse. Well, not this month! I've done plenty of spring cleanings over the years, but nothing like what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks here. I always said I wished I could tip my house upside down and pour out all of the clutter, so basically, that's what I've been doing. AND IT FEELS GREAT!!! We threw out at least 18 large garbage bags of stuff, and donated about 15 large bags to the Salvation Army (clothes, shoes, hats, books, glassware, jewelry, small appliances, artsy decor, toys, etc.). When I was younger, I never could part with my things because I thought I might use them again one day... but next month, I turn 67. I doubt I'll need my squirrel figurine collection or re-read the extra 50+ books lying around the house. Nor will I ever fit back into those size 6 jeans or wear my sequin disco shirt again.

So here we are in the midst of decluttering our lives, and for the first time since I moved into this house 40 years ago, I know where EVERYTHING is! The fly has watched it all, and of course, has listened in on our conversations:

"Awwww, look what I found in the back of the closet --- a box full of your old mementos!"

"I don't remember any of it."

"That's why we have this memory box for you."

"It's more like my dementia-prevention box."

"Why did you just stick a slice of processed turkey lunchmeat in my ear?"

"Because I'm exhausted from decluttering and needed a good laugh"

"The least you could have done was use low-sodium."

"You should do some stretches with me before we tackle this mound of donation stuff that needs sorting. Stretch by touching your toes."

"What toes? I haven't been able to bend down far enough to see them in years."

"That explains your hobbit toenails."

"How about if you shave your head, mustache, and goatee? In fact, why not shave your bushy eyebrows while you're at it?"

"If I did that, people would mistake my head for a bowling ball and hook their fingers in my nose to roll me down the alley."

"I wanted to reward myself after all our hard work decluttering---but this 85% dark chocolate is gross. It's too bitter."

"But this kind of chocolate is supposed to be good for you."

"Exactly why I don't like it --- nowadays everything that's good for you tastes like crap."

"I'm getting spammy emails for penis enhancements---and I don't even have a penis."

"Yeah, well, I don't have a vagina either, but I'm getting vaginal reconstruction emails."

"Maybe these spammers know something about us that we don't"

"I'm trying to haul these bags of old junk out to the garbage, but there's a large, male squirrel watching me from the trash can.. And he has a nut in his mouth.

"Hopefully he won't grab HIS junk and tell you that he has a nut for YOU."

"Do you think this is a good wine to go with the charcuterie board?"

"How would I know? I'm not a sommelier."

"No, but you ARE a food sommelier."

"I know you're trying to stall to get out of cleaning these drawers with me, but what took you so long in the bathroom?"

"I was changing my colostomy bag."

"You don't have a colostomy bag."

"Oops! Guess that explains the stain on my pants."

"I need to sweep this messy closet out. Have you seen the broom anywhere?"

"Nope. Did you forget where you parked your ride?"

"That's a lot of stuff in the giveaway bag. Why are you getting rid of all your Cubavera shirts?"

"Because now I'm Cubafatta."

This queen of decluttering has worked her butt off, and I believe she deserves a nice mimosa brunch this weekend to celebrate her success. Hubs deserves some champagne, too—as long as he doesn't bring a colostomy bag...

***WANT MORE MENO MAMA?*** Check out my latest recipe piece for AARP/The Girlfriend: Easy Fall Slow Cooker Recipes HERE If you're looking for some good reads, I have another article up on AARP this week about the best books of 2026 (so far) that you can read HERE

Check out these other bloggers' homes to see what the FLY has been up to!

Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com

On the Border https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/

Fly On The Wall At A Retirement/Birthday Party

2026-08-21T08:57:49.678-04:00

This past month, the fly has witnessed the beginning of my husband's new journey into retirement (finally), which coincided with his birthday. And boy, did we celebrate! Friends, family, and the KOI community where he worked all showed up to spread the love for Mr Mac. The champagne was flowing, the food was phenomenal, and the decorations so lovely, thanks to our friends at KOI who hosted the gathering. We started at 1:00 p.m. and closed it down at 9:00 p.m. after speeches, toasts, dancing, far too many tequila shots, and a whole lot of off-key karaoke, haha. Definitely one of the best parties I've ever been to.

But the most touching moment was the moving speeches my 4 adult children (and our unofficial adopted son Rob) gave to honor their father---each bringing tears and laughter to everyone watching this beautifulness unfold. Mr. Mac truly felt the love, and that's all that mattered.

So, we are adjusting to this new phase in life. Mr. Mac wasn't quite sure what to do with himself the first few weeks of retirement, but he's catching on now--which means he walks with me early every morning (gotta keep that body moving!) and knows to stay out of my home office when the door is closed. Of course, this was a challenge in the beginning---he kept walking in to give me updates: "I just finished weeding the garden....going to take a shower now...... making a bologna sandwich because I'm hungry; do you want one?.....where do you keep the carrot peeler?.....what time does the dog need his medication?.... just finished loading the dishwasher....are we out of ketchup?"..... He's getting better, though, and at least he's not sitting on his bum all day playing tank wars on his iPad.

. Rather than delve into the funny conversations the fly overheard at the retirement/birthday party, I'll just do a massive photo dump instead.... scroll on ahead if it bores ya!

What an extraordinary month it has been--I feel incredibly grateful to be living this beautiful life (Thank you, Jesus!!). However, it's still hot as Hades in Florida (and not so fun), so we will not be camping again until October. Work also slows down for me in August/September as many of my editors are taking their much-deserved vacations. With all this free time, I guess I don't have any excuses NOT to clean out my closets. Perhaps I can get my new "man of leisure" to help me organize the closet chaos.....fingers crossed!

***WANT MORE MENO MAMA?? My latest recioe piece is up on AARP/The Ethel--this one is about outdoor cooking while you're on the road and you can read it HERE

Follow the fly to these other homes to see what they've been up to:

Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com

On the Border https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/

Happy 70th birthday and Happy Retirement, Mr. Mac, my love!

Fly On The Wall With The "Hobos" And The Brain-Eating Amoebas

2026-07-24T08:52:40.508-04:00

This past month, the fly witnessed a very frustrated blogger. Chances are, dear reader, that you did not receive last month's FOW post. If you are reading this now, the problem has been solved! It had to do with authentication codes, creating a new website email through Google Workplace, and a bunch of other mumbo jumbo that I had NO CLUE what they were talking about. But I think my tech girl has finally fixed everything (fingers crossed).

So here's what you missed.....A new blog post went up Friday, June 19, but apparently, no one received it. If you missed it, here is the link to my June post---- "Fly On The Wall With The Birthday Babes And Book Lovers" https://www.menopausalmom.com/2026/06/fly-on-wall-with-birthday-babes-and.html

Anyway....other than the tech issues, it has been a fun month. Another camping trip is in the books (#27), this time to Ft. Myers at an RV resort (yay for pools!). As always, met some wonderful campers. However, we quickly discovered how hard it is to hang with campers half our age who like to drink shots. Some lovely young ladies stopped by our site on a Saturday night for drinks and card games---which progressed to a wild golf cart ride at 2:00 a.m. to a creepy, abandoned RV park. Needless to say, we paid the price the following morning when we had to get up early and pack. Time to stick with campers our own age who go to bed at 10:00!!!

Lucy, the RV is taking a break now that it is summer. At least we will save on these ridiculous gas prices. But staying local also means I'll get to spend more time with friends and family.

Speaking of which, our annual 4th of July block party was a BLAST--literally. One of our neighbors brought a flamethrower, and everyone took turns using it. Now I know what it's like to be a dragon---and I LOVED IT!

Another super fun excursion: Hubs has never been on a train (crazy, right?!), so our friends from his job treated us to a day trip on a train to Miami and lunch at a 5-star restaurant. WOWZA! Lunching and shopping there, I got to see how the other half lives, haha. Definitely one of the most fun days we've ever had.

The only thing that might top that wonderful day is the 70th birthday/Reitrement party our friends are throwing Hubs this Sunday. He has mixed feelings about leaving his job and the people he loves, but hopefully it will be a smooth transition. I'll let you know how it's going in next month's FOW blog post......

Here are some of the weird conversational tidbits the nosy fly picked up on this month:

"Didn't we try that restaurant four years ago?"

"You're asking me about something that happened four years ago. I don't even remember what happened four minutes ago"

"Whenever the dog gets a new toy, he breaks the squeaker part too quickly. Basically, he does a squeakotomy on the toy."

"Well, he just farted right next to my head, so what do I call that---a Stinkotomy?"

"You're supposed to wash the bedsheets once a week."

"But I'm clean---I take a shower every day."

"It's not that --- it's the dead skin cells the body sheds while you sleep."

"I lost some weight this week, so I must have dropped a lot of skin cells in the sheets."

"We're having hobo packs on the grill at the campsite tonight"

"We're eating hobos and their backpacks??"

"You seriously need to order those hearing aids."

"I'm not swimming in the lake; I'm afraid of brain-eating amoebas"

"They won't bother me----once they get into my brain, they'll say, 'Nope, nothing here to eat' and then they'll leave."

"I'm glad our kids know that after we pass, we want to be cremated and have our ashes spread together over our favorite lake with the beautiful fountains."

"With my luck, a big piece of my forehead bone will get stuck and clog the fountain at the funeral."

"I'm so full from the spaghetti dinner you made."

"You didn't have to eat it all...."

"I'll be full until next week. The noodles have already wrapped themselves around my colon and won't let go."

"Good, because at least now I don't have to worry about cooking dinner for a week."

"Look at all of this beautiful, open land. This is what I imagine my gateway to heaven will look like."

"My gateway will probably just be the size of a straw."

"To suck the life out of you?"

"You seem to be sleeping better at night."

"Only on the weekends."

"What do you attribute it to?"

"A lot of beer and the loss of brain cells."

Time for Hubs to round up some hobo backpacks for the grill---as long as the brain-eating amoebas don't get to him first.

***WANT MORE MENO MAMA?? My latest for AARP/The Girlfriend was fun to write--"How To Spice Up Your Relationship Without Sex" read it HERE and another about easy no-bake desserts perfect for summer, which you can read HERE

Follow the fly to these other homes to see what they've been up to:

Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com

On the Border https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/