Mexico Daily Living

Everything changes

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Mon, 01 Dec 2025 03:00:00 +0000

A few days ago, I was not able to get into the blog.I couldn't do anything with it and I gave it up. Now, for nothing I have done, It is allowing me to get into it. But I still cannot answer comments or put on photos. Things change all the time, having nothing to do with my actions or non actions. This is the state of the world now. I have no control over the streams of new information or the changes that happen without my agreement or input. Maybe this is what happens to everyone in old age. Having to let go of the desire to be in control over anything. Just learning to accept what happens. Dealing with things day by day. I will keep trying to find ways to fix these problems because I enjoy doing this blog. I thank everyone who commented for their encouragement.

I managed to get one photo on

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Mon, 24 Nov 2025 03:13:29 +0000

Thinking about being Old

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Mon, 24 Nov 2025 00:54:00 +0000

Several times I have been in a conversation with a new person and was asked my age. I proudly said 81. Then I saw an immediate shock on the face of the person who had asked me. Then I saw a second reaction that I can only describe as an emotional withdrawal. This has happened so often that I decided not to tell anyone my age. Did the other person think I might die in the middle of our conversation? Or think that because I am so old my thoughts aren't worth knowing? I have been puzzling over this for awhile. I decided to do a little research. Why did my age scare people? I looked up the statistics. In the United States only 3.5 percent of the population is 80 and older. In Vietnam only 2 percent are 80 and older. World wide only 1.9 are that age. So no wonder someone is taken aback by hearing my age. People in our age group don't go out much socially. We are a bit rare. A lot of us are too sick. Or have lost our minds. I have only met three people in my age group since I came here. The first was a Vietnamese man, who was bent over and gave me a toothless smile and didn't speak. The second one was the Vietnamese woman living with her family at the coffee shop. I mentioned her earlier. Her mind was gone. But she kept reaching out to hold my hand and looking into my eyes. Made me feel so sad. And yesterday I met one more. She was the grandmother of the woman who has a cluttered glass shop here. I like looking at all her things which spill out onto her floors and stairs and the front of the store. When I walked toward the store this elderly Vietnamese woman, Probably my age, reached out and took my hands. She smiled at me and pulled me into her arms as if I was her best friend. It had been a long time since getting a hug and I appreciated it. Then she opened the shop door for me and motioned me to go inside. But there was a motorcycle parked among all that glassware. No room to get around. The daughter, I am guessing she was the daughter, motioned me to go back outside so she could get it out. I did. And I tried to tell them that I would be back. But of course I am unable to talk here. I walked on down the street and about half a block away I heard them calling me back. I turned around and they were waving me back and calling to me. I yelled that I would return. They didn't know what I had yelled. So that is the extent of meeting people my age and older. No wonder I surprise people. I will do my best to avoid the question of age now. I would like to be treated like everyone else. I will just say that phrase, A woman doesn't tell her age. Why is the lifespan shorter here than in the United States? When people here are so healthy and thin and always active. Maybe because they have to work so hard. Maybe because they are poor and don't see doctors. Like me, maybe they resort to online medical advice. I have been scrolling through all the online advice. Told to pull my earlobes so many times to cure..... Tap under my nose to make me..... Told to drink another strange potion to cure..... Did you know that if you.....fill in the blanks....then you will.....fill in the blanks. I wonder how many of the potions the Salem witches had given out to their patients. I am trying them. Hope they work on my neuropathy. I still haven't had the courage to seeing another know it all doctor who offers his own useless advice. I am up to trying anything except seeing another doctor. Did you know that if you mash up garlic and tumeric and black pepper and mix it into milk that you can cure......

Confusion

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Sat, 22 Nov 2025 00:28:00 +0000

Yesterday afternoon I tried to sort out the problems I am having with getting the blog going again. I finally gave up and decided to not continue with it. I used to think that I was smart. Now I know I am not smart but very dumb. The world has past me by and I can't run fast enough to keep up with all the changes. I wanted to be able to post photos. In the evening I watched the local Vietnamese families as they socialized and played on the jungle bars. Everyone plays on the bars. I have a photo of a grandpa holding his grandbaby up to the ring bars so the baby could hold onto them. But, unfortunately, I could not manage to get into my account to do that. This morning I read a comment saying that photos don't matter and to just write about my life. What a surprise. No one has shown any interest in my life in a long time. Even my son. He has his own life to manage. It isn't easy in this country for us. I think it is harder than in Mexico. Many reasons. The red tape. The language is so different from ours. In Mexico, I would eventually figure out the meanings. Here. No way. I started taking a class to learn it but my short term memory is gone. Along with most of my other once beloved qualities. That is the thing about getting old. Having to watch losing one's identity go away. There is a six story coffee shop just a short walk from my apartment. A few evenings ago, I was sitting there looking at the lake with my son and enjoying our time together when an elderly woman quietly came up behind me. I could feel her but couldn't turn around enough to see her. She was talking to us in Vietnamese. She seemed to want us to do something for her. But we were of no use. She finally gave up and left. Later on, I found out that she is 83 years old. Just two years older than I am. I saw her again last evening because I am trying to find a good doctor for myself. I thought maybe her famiy would have a name for me. She was sitting on a leather couch. Looking ahead. Doing nothing. As I walked by, She reached out for my hand and looked into my eyes. Wanting something again from me. Her hand was ice cold. She wouldn't let my hand go and as I looked into her eyes, I knew that she has alzsheimer's or another form of demantia. She was pulling me towards her, wanting me to stay with her. It was a busy time in the coffee shop and everyone working there was rushing around to serve the many expats who were coming in and ordering coffees. Making requests and demands. I was in the way. Almost as much in the way as the grandma. The grandson finally after reading my request on my translater, gave me a link to a hospital that I could visit. And he almost pushed me out the door, out of the way. I appreciated the link. I felt badly for the woman because I wasn't allowed to just sit with her. I would have liked that. I saw a blog the other day where there is a contest for doing nothing. I think it was in Korea. I would probably win in that contest. Doing nothing has become my life these days. Yesterday, when the sun came out again, I found a spot next to the lake and did nothing. Just enjoyed the sun beating on my face and arms. Back to this blog problem. My computer is corrupted. That was the phrase I received when I asked online how to fix it. Corrupted. Meaning I needed to do technical repair and the first step was beyond my understanding. The problem is that the font keeps jumping around. One second it is at a hundred percent and the next it is at thirty five percent. I end up resetting it every few seconds. Not a fun way to write. Another problem is that I can't get into this blog except to write. I can't post or answer comments. I can't publish photos. And the languages keep changing on me when I start trying to do these things. I can understand most of the Spanish but none of the Vietnamese. I wish it would just be in English but that is asking too much for now. My son wants me to buy a new computer but I don't want to spend the money. And I still think the main problem as my back yard mechanic father would say, I am the loose nut behind the wheel. A new computer is not going to tighten that nut much. Considering all these frustrations, I totally gave up on the idea of reviving the blog. I also saw that now there is another Mexico Daily Living. It is slick and looks good. As I wrote at the beginning of this post, the world has past me by. I appreciated reading that my life was of interest to someone out there in the world. I don't know if I will write again or not. I am frustrated by it. And I need to look for that doctor. My neuropathy is keeping me up at night...

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Fri, 21 Nov 2025 23:45:12 +0000

Standstill

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Fri, 21 Nov 2025 03:46:00 +0000

So I have spent all morning trying to put photos onto this blog. Nothing worked. I messed with every connection on my camera and the laptop. The cell phone was completely beyond my understanding. But I used my old camera to show what my place is like and how I look these days. Introducing myself again.. I finally had to give it up. Trying to get help would be like a two year old trying to navigate the adult world. With the language barrier and no way to find help, it looks like i am not going to be able to put on photos. A phrase my father used to say comes to mind. It looks like a loose nut behind the wheel.

Encouragement

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Fri, 21 Nov 2025 02:10:34 +0000

Things move so quickly in this world now. New ways to communicate. This simiple blog is lost in all the AI and videos done by digial nomads. I was surprised that three people commented. I wasn't expecting any responses. I still haven't figured out how to post photos with the cell phone. I started doing this again just because of being lonely. No other reasons. I rarely see anyone here that I can talk with and my son has his own life. I do see him daily but we already know each other's lives so thoroughly that everything has already been said. I see someone close to my own age maybe once every couple of weeks. I am now 81. Not any expats but Vietnamese men and women. And we can't communicate because of the language barrier. Also, there seems to be a big difference between our health issues. An 80 year old Vietnamese person has had a much harder life than I have had and also been through the Vietnamese war. (They call it the American War.) So that ages a person quicker. Poverty doesn't help either. The average salary here for a Vietnamese person is about three hundred dollars a month. That is working twelve hours a day, seven days a week and often with no days off. That wears on a person. Mexicans don't make much more than that but they have shorter days and more days off. I thought about teaching English here. A lot of Digital Nomads make their living doing that. But I haven't worked for over twenty five years. Don't think I am up to all the stress and demands of working. So, I am trying to figure out how to do the blog again. If you are reading these words, please have patience with me as I jog my memory about how to put on photos and answer questions. I barely function myself. This isn't meant to be an information blog. There are many of those on the internet. I cannot answer questions about how to function here. I am dependent on my son to do things for me. I am just going to write about my very limited personal experiences of living in Hanoi. By a small lake. Daily experiences as I wrote about when I was living in Mexico. I appreciate all comments. Thanks, p I must amend that last statement. I don't appreciate negative comments. Keep those to yourself. I am just a lonely old woman, looking for some outlet and communication....

Testing, Testing, 123

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Thu, 20 Nov 2025 11:46:00 +0000

It has been so long since I have written on the blog that I have forgotten how to do it. I received one comment asking me about why I moved here but I forgot how to answer it. I also accidently deleted it. I will have to work on learning again. Sorry that I deleted your comment. Why did I move here? Because my son begged me to move for an entire year. He loves Vietnam and he believed that I would love it too. I was happy in my simple life in Mexico. I have nothing bad to say about my life there. But my healh isn't good. I have neuropathy and walking was becoming dificult for me. I am old now... Hard to accept that fact. And I missed my son. I took the chance to move here, knowing that I would not be able to return to Mexico. My health isn't good enough to make that long trip again. It took me almost 48 hours with all the delays, to finally arrive in Danang. Exhausted. I had to leave a home with everything in it that I had collected for the eighteen years of living there. I arrived in Mexico with only two suitcases and left an entire small two bedroom house when I took the same two suitcases to the airport for Vietnam. The time change is hard to manage. Mexico day is Vietnam night. I went from a country that has one of the most beautiful climate in the world to a country that is probably down towards the bottom. I looked at graphs for a year, comparing the weather. Danang was always at the top of the weather graph for Hot and Sultry.... Mexico runs across the bottom all the way. So it was a big adjustment for me. I also arrived in the middle of the rainy season in Danang. That means about five months of storms. Sitting in my room, looking out the window at the rain, I wondered why I had agreed to give up my life in Mexico. But I finally adjusted. Once again I was like a child. Not being able to function in the adult world. If not for my son and his helper, I wouldn't have been able to stay here. They took care of all the red tape for me. And did the shopping and everything else, the way parents take care of young chidren until they are adults and able to take care of themselves. Well, I am an adult but with all the limitations of a dependent child. It took me many years to manage things in Mexico. And now I am starting over in Vietnam. The language is far more difficult. The red tape seems to be endless. The weather is often brutal. But the people are lovely. In many ways, Vietnamese people are much like Mexicans. Their love of family. Their gentle natures. Their poverty. So many other things that it was not hard for me to feel comfortable living among them. So above and beyond the hard things, This was a great move for me. I will try to get back into the blog if I see interest and if I can relearn how to do it. Thanks, p

My New Life in Hanoi, Vietnam

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Thu, 20 Nov 2025 03:28:00 +0000

Is anyone out there? I am testing it out to see if I want to get back into blogging. So many changes have happened since I last wrote, both with my own life and the world at large. So I am checking if this is a good thing or not. I moved to Danang, Vietnam on October 31 last year. Following my son. And again I followed him on October 31 this year from there to Hanoi, Vietnam. It is a beautiful city. I would like to share some of my experiences here if anyone is interested. Just let me know. If so, I will continue.... Thanks, P

The New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Sun, 01 Jan 2023 15:48:00 +0000

I am still grieving for my animals so I am not writing much. I just wanted to wish all of you a Happy New Year. I hope it brings you everything you want and more. I may write when I feel better. I had no idea this would hit me so hard. Chico and Olive were with me all the time I have been in Mexico. Maybe seventeen years. I have lost track of time. let's just say it has been many years.

. A part of me thought that maybe it would be good to finally be free. that I could travel without searching for a house sitter and worrying about them while I went somewhere. But now I have no desire to go on any trips. I don't have anything exciting or wonderful to share with you on the blog. Maybe it was a mistake to try to revive it. As we get old, we slowly fade away from society and the world. I am thinking about all the people who have died this year and at one time played a big part of our lives. And how they faded away and then died. That is the natural order of things, if we are lucky.

Often in my mind I would call Chico by my son's name, David, because I was a single mother and David was by my side for many years. It was just us. But he is a grown man now with his own life and I am happy that he is independent. That makes me feel like I was a success in part because he has gone out on his own and is making his way without me.

But our animals never grow away from us. They are with us until they die or we die. I have to stop putting Chico in my mind as David. That makes it much harder. I wish my son lived closer so I could see him at this awful time but he can't come now. I have to go through this grieving and get to the other side before I think of doing anything else. So I won't be writing for awhile. Love to you all. p

New Year Holiday Sadness

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Thu, 29 Dec 2022 15:46:00 +0000

Yesterday I went to the plaza to take photos of the beautiful Christmas decorations and I was planning on uploading them on the blog. I also met another woman who is also a blogger. I took her photos and was going to put that on too. I was thinking I wouldn't write on the blog at all after I decided what needed to be done but I promised to keep it going. So here I am but just to keep the blog going.

This afternoon I have to put down my dog down and possibly my cat. I have had Chico and Olive for probably fifteen years. They have moved with me several times and kept me company. I don't know what I would have done without them and their love. But they both are old and sick and I feel selfish keeping them alive when I can see that they are suffering with their various illnesses. Even this morning Chico got up and went right back to bed and Olive has quickly disappeared somewhere in the house to hide out.

It is going to be a hard afternoon for all of us. So, I am not up to putting those photos on my computer. It may be a few more days before I write again. I don't want to put sad or negative things on here. But I have just done that. I apologize for bringing anyone down. I am sure many of you have had to go through the same thing with a loved animal. At this point, I never want to have another animal because this part of it is too painful.

Many people are going through far worse things than I am this time of year. I watch the news every morning and see some of it. I send everyone my good wishes and hopes that the new year will bring happiness if you are suffering now for one reason or another. Loving is so painful at the end. Right now, I am wondering if it is worth it to love another animal because they die so soon. I will write here after all of this is over. Thank you for encouraging me to write on here again. I will do my best in a few days to get those photos on. Thanks, p

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Fri, 23 Dec 2022 15:27:00 +0000

Just for fun, I decided to see what was happening with my blog. I thought maybe someone else had taken it over, like advertisers. I don't know much about computers.

What a surprise to see that after all these months, it is still there. I guess it will always be there. How strange. It is like finding an old friend that I thought I would never see again. Familiar, yet unfamiliar. I quit writing for a long time. Have been consumed with other things and a bit bored with the blog. Mostly because I now live in an area that is not a tourist spot. San Antonio Tlayacapan is a quiet little Mexican town. It is just a five-minute bus ride from Ajijic but I rarely go there anymore. I mostly hang out in my neighborhood.

The holidays are still celebrated here but on a much smaller scale. Not a great place for taking travel photos. But a great place to live. I would never want to move back to Ajijic. It is too busy for me these days.

Here is a recent photo of me as I am in the garden and trying to get rid of all the bugs.

In the photo above, I am trying to protect my face from the poison I just put on those stinging caterpillars in my garden. Their stings hurt for days.

In the photo above, my kitty, Olive is sleeping soundly. That is what she does these days, sleep.

I seem to have lost a lot of photos when I got this new computer. So far, I haven't found Chico's, but I will keep looking. Maybe I will find the thousands of photos that are missing.

I would like to start writing on the blog again and I hope I will do just that. I need the outlet. I miss writing. The holidays seem like a good time to start up, but this season is a bad one for me. Maybe that is why I decided to write again, to connect with people out in the world. I am very isolated at the moment because both of my animals are sick. I feel that I need to stay home as much as possible to be with them.

Olive, my cat, has breathing problems and this cold weather has been hard on her. Chico, my dog has an enlarged heart and has been having seizures. I have him on medication and most of the time he just stands around looking stunned. I know I should have them both put down, but I still have hope that when it warms up again, maybe they will recover. At least, I hope I can keep them with me through this holiday season. I will have to relook at that in a week or so. I may be being very selfish to try to keep them alive and with me. Yes, a selfish wish and a case of loving them too much. They have been my family here for many years. My joy and my comfort.

They both came to me when they were fully grown and I do not know their ages. They are over fifteen years old because they have been with me that long. We are all three old now. I am 78 years old, but I still don't believe it.

This morning I was dreaming that I was talking to someone, and I said, "I am only 20 years old. Why am I living with all these old people?" And then I woke up as an old woman. I was disoriented at first. It feels like only a few days ago I WAS only 20. And just a few days ago my two animals WERE running around the house with lots of energy. And my cat could even climb walls. Those days are over for all three of us. I am not 20. They are not young and spry. My question now is, why are we all still here?

The only answer I can find is just to accept the slowing down and getting old and closer to death. Love the sunshine in the afternoons. Love being alive still. Love each other and anyone we meet. So, this is why I decided to write again. To reach out to others, just in case someone decides to check my blog again. I am still here. Happy Holidays again. I hope we all can see the good in our lives and all the reasons for us to still be alive in this cold holiday season.

I must go now; Chico is needing me now. I hope to start writing here again. I miss all the loving responses from readers.

A Little Story about my Mother's Irish side of my family

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Sun, 13 Mar 2022 21:15:00 +0000

I am writing this because it is almost St. Patrick's Day and what I am going to tell you is about my great grandmother and what happened to her and how it filtered down through the family to affect all the other women in our family, even if these women, including myself, did not know consciously why we were affected so strongly.

It has to do with the potato famine in Ireland. I don't know much except some things I have read in novels. I like novels. They can be very informative if well documented.

During the famine, the potatoes rotted in the ground. The big farms were owned by the British from England. They had built small houses on their large properties for the Irish families to live in while they worked the fields. But when the potatoes rotted, the Irish were starving. Dead bodies were seen along the roadsides. People who could flee, did. And sometimes the farm owners would pay for their passage out of the country. Often they just forced the Irish to move out of their little homes and then they went back to England or else hired people from other countries to come in and work for nothing and have free housing where the Irish had once lived. While the poor Irish just wandered the Irish countryside, starving. Sleeping along the sides of the road and finally dying.

I am not educated enough about this time and place to tell you more except the story than I was told the other day by my cousin, about how my great grandmother ended up in Arkansas.

There was a man named Mr, Vardell. I do not know his first name. He lived in Arkansas and had twelve children from three different women. Each of the three wives died and he was stuck trying to raise these twelve children alone. He couldn't do it and no other woman around where he lived was willing to take on that heavy task. Plus he was old by then and no great catch. So, he ordered a young girl from Ireland to come and be his wife.

Her family must have been desperate to have agreed to this arrangement. I don't know any of those details. Except that she traveled to Arkansas and married this man and essentially became like a slave, taking care of him and his twelve children. Also, She was Catholic. The Irish were discriminated against in Arkansas, as in most of America at the time. There were were signs on business windows saying no dogs. No Irish.

The Catholics were also discriminated against in Arkansas. Catholics didn't live in that state. It was just the bible belt Christians. Plus, all the children hated this young girl because she was a stranger taking the place of their three different mothers. When she had a daughter by Mr. Vardell, the children hated and teased her too and made her life miserable. I imagine she was already miserable because of having to help her mother do all the washing and cooking and everything else involved with taking care of all those children and an old man.

The children refused to call this young girl who had become their mother anything but Mrs. Billingsley. That was her maiden name. They didn't want to accept her into the family enough to call her by her new last married name of Vardell. Imagine the shame her daughter must have felt as the youngest, the outsider, Irish, and Catholic. So she too rejected her mother. She also refused to call her mother anything but Mrs. Billingsley. She never called her mother for the rest of her life. Only Mrs Billingsley. She hated her mother. She hated being Irish and would never admit that she was half Irish.

When her mother died, the churches wouldn't allow her to be buried in their grave yards because she was Catholic. So my grandma who was an adult by that time, sent her to be buried in a Catholic cemetery. Maybe my grandma wanted to give her mother the final respect of being buried in a Catholic cemetery. And maybe she wanted her mother to be buried far from where she lived at the time. So she is buried somewhere in Kansas City. Strange that my son and his wife live there now. But no one in the family knows where this grave is located. She just was an outcast all her life. Of course that extended to her daughter, my grandmother. And on down the line. I have always felt like an outcast, that I didn't belong, even within my family. Plus all those other shadow emotions we try to hide, shame, fear, low self esteem, depression. I bet you can add to that list.

And so my grandmother, her only child, grew up with a lot of emotional problems which she took out on just about everyone in the family. She especially hated the girls in our family.(My cousin just read this and wrote back that maybe she didn't hate her mother. Maybe it was more that she was ashamed of her mother. So she denied her mother. Never calling her anything but Mrs Billingsley. Never talking about her. And seemingly disowning her.

Life is so much more complicated than just a few words of description. She must have struggled with many different feelings about her mother. Maybe we all struggle like that too. Relationships are rarely pure. They are tangled and filled with conflicting emotions. Especially within families.

I didn't grow up around my grandmother.. That gave me the disadvantage of only seeing a small part of her personality and focusing on just a few of her qualities. Since she always seemed to hate me, I hated her too. My cousin believes she didn't hate women but was afraid of them. Afraid of not measuring up and of being shamed like what happened while she was growing up.

A few days ago when my cousin told me about my grandmother's past and why she was so distrusting and bitter, I had to change my way of looking at her. She was no longer like a cardboard cut out. She was much more complicated. More human. Just like me and everyone else . Filled with conflicting emotions about people we love.

She became a strong woman and acted very proud. Sitting ramrod straight. She always wore a hat and white gloves into town. Maybe pride hides shame. I think everyone in the family was afraid of her. She had a will of steel and after she married she brought herself and her family of five children out of poverty by being the strength behind my Grandpa. But she never talked about her past or her mother or any of those children she grew up hating and maybe fearing. She had no contact with any of them.

Side note here: This is how my grandmother and grandfather met. She was at the stream collecting water in a bucket. A group of young men were there too and started harassing her. My Grandpa was with them. My Grandma looked up and threw the bucket of cold water directly onto my Grandpa. And she ran home. He looked at his friends and said," I'm going to marry that girl some day." The boys all laughed but he did marry her and they were together many years until he died of a heart attack. She never married again.

I guess the point of this story for me is to finally have some compassion for my grandmother. To also see her as a human being and not just the angry old woman that I barely knew. And to have compassion for all the people who are suffering in this world. Suffering never goes away. It just travels and transfers from one country to another or one group or individual to the next and on down through the generations.

So, HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY MUDDY,, wherever you are now. Muddy is what we called my grandmother because one of her kids couldn't say Mother. And the name stuck.

I can finally feel love for her and that gives me the freedom to feel more love for myself. Because you know how hating others causes self hate and low self esteem and fear and shame. It all gets passed down through generations along with eye color and skin color and all the other parts of being human.

This little story grew to be a big story. Hope you could make it all the way to here. And if so, when the 17th rolls around, HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO YOU TOO. Now being Irish is a source of pride, not shame. Maybe one day no one will be shamed for just being him or herself. wouldn't that be great?

Testing again. photo shows up online but not on my computer. Thank you Nancy for the help. I might keep working at it.

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Sun, 20 Feb 2022 15:46:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Sun, 20 Feb 2022 10:51:00 +0000

Night thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Sun, 20 Feb 2022 10:49:00 +0000

I have been trying for hours and hours to get my blog to work again. Photos won't show up as anything but computer language. And now the writing part is messed up. It looks to me like I am not even on the blogger program and I can't get them to give me any feedback. So this attempt at reactivating my blog looks like a failure. Again. Maybe it just isn't meant to be. Life goes on and others have blogs to inform people about living in Mexico. I try to be upbeat on this blog but it is four am and I am discouraged. Being discouraged often isn't allowed in the cyber world. Someone always wants to rescue or beat a person down for having anything but the most positive of feelings. But there is a real downside to living as an expat. That is isolation. I do not have the resources where I can get help. Add to that isolation is my own inability to get around like I did just a few years ago. I have physical problems. Getting old isn't easy. And it is especially difficult living alone in a foreign country. So many people I have met through the years went back to their home countries because of missing their families, especially their grandchildren. I don't have any. I am just alone. This covid made a huge blow to my life, just as it has to everyone else in the world at this time in history. I need to quit fighting the inevitable. We all have to get old. We all have to change. We all have to eventually die. Everything eventually comes to an end. So enjoy your life while you still have it. I enjoyed doing this blog while it worked for me. I thank everyone for their love and concern and attention. Otherwise it can get awfully lonely here.

Laguna Mall supposedly photo, three year old was busy doing something else.

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Fri, 18 Feb 2022 21:18:00 +0000

This is what shows up when I try to put a photo onto the blog. Anyone out there know what to do about it? I finally gave up after many many tries.

Afternoon walk with Chico to the Laguna Mall

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Fri, 18 Feb 2022 20:29:00 +0000

It was another beautiful sunny day here. No extra humidity. Perfect. No wonder this is touted as the second best weather in the world. I don't know what could be better than this, at least for my taste. Thinking about taste, I had lunch at Subway Sandwich shop in the Laguna Mall. I am just getting over a cold but the longer I stayed at home the worse I was feeling. All I needed was a brisk walk, a sandwich and a chocolate chip cookie. Chico got to walk with me. He enjoys getting out as much as I do. Fridays and Mondays are the worst traffic days, so it was busy on the road. Thankfully, we were just walking and that didn't matter. People were relaxed and friendly and even the dogs. I took a few photos of the mall, just to try to get back into the hang of things. I also paid my internet bill while at the mall. 400 pesos and two hundred pesos more for my cell phone. Not bad. I don't know how I could tolerate so much isolation without my laptop and cell phone now. I am spoiled. Sorry.the photo program isn't working. I have no idea of why. Guess I will have to get a three year old in here to help me.

New Laptop

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Wed, 16 Feb 2022 15:14:00 +0000

This is a test to see if my blog still works. I now have a laptop and I can write again. It is such a pleasure. But it is still covid time. Not much happening in my life or in the area. The events and parades have come to an end for awhile. So even with having the ability to get back online it doesn't do that much good. I have very little to share. Just like everyone else, I am spending most of my time alone. I am still swimming three days a week. I go to the grocery store. I sit in my back yard in the sunshine. Today I am paying my electric bill which is 280 pesos for two months. That comes out to about seven American dollars a month. My son and his wife paid 500 dollars for one month for their electric bill in Kansas. My garbage pick up is free. My water bill is paid by my landlord. My propane bill is about twenty dollars a month. My rent is 250 dollars, by American currency calculation. All of this makes me happy to be living in Mexico. I can no longer afford to move back to the United States, even if I wanted to do that. Which I don't But yesterday I saw a program on you tube about why some people live into their 90s. They did years of scientific studies on hundreds of people and it was surprising what was discovered. Relationships, friendships, was the main reason people live longer. Friendships are more important to one's health than smoking fifteen cigarettes a day, or bad eating habits, or heavy drinking, or taking vitamins, or exercise or anything else we do. Isn't that amazing? And mostly because of covid I am sitting alone in my house with no close friends. They have all drifted away. Friendships have to be maintained. If not, they die. Most of the people I knew here and thought of as friends I met through this blog. So, since that was the case I decided to maybe pick it up again. Something good might come out of it. I doubt if anyone even bothers to look at this anymore since it has been such a long time. But it is a risk i am taking. I will see if I actually can get this onto the blog. What a surprise that would be.

On my birthday morning

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Wed, 08 Sep 2021 12:07:00 +0000

well quite a lot of comments came this morning. on my birthday. i quit counting after fifty. i am now on all kinds of lists from sales people. i would say at least nine tenths were from them. but some previous readers also wrote and that amazed me and i consider those messages my birthday gifts. i am still remembered! and i appreciate every comment. for now it is to exhausting of a task for me to post them today. too overwhelming. but thank you my blog friends for letting me know that i could bring this blog up from the dead. and there will be mistakes that need editing that so seehr wemehow this etch a sketch refuses to do for me.

I bought a new what I call an etch a sketch. It barely works so I don't know if I can revive this blog with it or not. Will see........let me know

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Tue, 07 Sep 2021 12:01:00 +0000

The end for now

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Sat, 05 Sep 2020 14:02:00 +0000

My blog program no longer works. I tried to add a photo today and it wouldn't go on. So, for now, until I can find another way to do this blog. I can't use this. Also my son is fine. No covid. I am fine. No covid. That is the important thing. Thank you all for your love and support through these years. Maybe one day if I can get computer help, i can revive it again. And maybe by then, I will have something to write about. I can't even correct spelling errors anymore on this. Thanks. P

Morning thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 13:08:00 +0000

I am still here. Still alive and well. Still fighting off depression. And so I am not writing much on the blog. There is just too much bad in the world right now. We all are doing the best we can to make it to the other side of this pandemic. Yesterday my son, who lives in Kansas, answered his phone when I called and said he was on his way to get a covid test. As his mother, that was upsetting. I asked if he was sick. He said. no. But it is free so I am getting one. He sounded well. But now there are a few anxious days ahead of waiting for the result of that test. His wife is a nurse at the VA hospital. So they are both at risk. It is especially difficult for me because my son and daughter-in-law mean so much to me. I think, like most parents, I would change places with him or her if that were possible. But of course, covid makes all the choices. Okay, now I have quickly slid into the negative thoughts and this is exactly why I am not writing much these days. It is hard enough having to be alone with my thoughts but worse to share them . One last comment before I go. Are any of you having vivid dreams? I am having so many vivid dreams about people from my past and even people I have never met. Being in places I have never seen. Being all ages. As if my past and my dreams are more real than my present. I wonder if it has anything to do with being isolated and not able to relate to people on any meaningful level. Maybe it is just a normal craving for life as it once was and hopefully will be again one day. Hopefully, before I die. Or maybe this is what happens when a person is old, like me now, and reviewing the past. Making amends for past mistakes and trying to make peace with them and people we have hurt or mistreated along the way. It will probably be awhile until I write again. I will wait for something uplifting to share. And one more thing. They changed this site and now I can no longer make new paragraphs. It all runs together. Sorry.

lunch

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Fri, 14 Aug 2020 17:35:00 +0000

Nothing new in my life. Just waiting out this pandemic. At least I hope to make it through. I am swimming three days a week. This afternoon I bought these delicious homemade tacos from my neighbor. She opened a stand out on the sidewalk.

A narrow vision

noreply@blogger.com (Patricia W.) — Tue, 28 Jul 2020 23:10:00 +0000

My world has become very small. As the pandemic expands, my life shrinks. Hard to tell by what goes on in my neighborhood. The only difference I see from a year ago is all the masks now. The Mexicans have finally started wearing them. The bus drivers won't let people on without masks. Of course, often they are pushed soon down to the neck after people sit down. But it is mostly business as usual here. No let up. Restaurants are busy. Stores are crowded. Life goes on as usual. But not mine. I am trying to be a good girl. The symptoms of corona virus scare me. I have had pneumonia and not been able to breathe deeply. It is a terrible feeling. Plus, I am not ready to die yet.

I vaguely remember the thousands of photos I have taken in the past of festivals, events, parades with dancing horses, restaurant meals, friends. Everything imaginable. Now all I have to share are four photos. The first one is of the late afternoon light coming in my bedroom window. The second is of a bored dog. The third is of a bored cat. (Yes, I believe that my animals are also very bored.) And the last one is of flowers from my garden that I put in styrofoam cups at my kitchen window.

Not much to offer. Just feeding my blog, trying to keep it alive too. It is all about maintaining these days.

Good news. This coming Sunday I get to go to the dentist for part two of a four part root canal series. At least I will be noticed and touched and have something different to do. My life has definitely gone downhill.