By Lauren Wyeth

This easy-to-use Religious Education Kickoff Retreat can be self-facilitated and is a great way for RE leaders to get aligned on your program’s core purposes and priorities. Dig into the latest thinking on what’s working – on Sunday mornings and throughout the week – in programs that are inviting, engaging and affirming for children, youth and families. Close with building a plan for your RE Team’s work in the year ahead.

Preparation

Planning the Basics

Who? When? For How Long?

The RE Kickoff Retreat is designed for your congregation’s RE leaders. This may include paid RE staff, your minister(s), your RE team, and key RE volunteers. At a minimum, these people should be included, and ideally the retreat should be scheduled for when they can all attend. You might also choose to invite some other folks, such as parent representatives. You don’t want to have so many people that it’s hard to have deep conversation, but it can be very helpful to have people with specific knowledge or a specific stake in your decisions in the room from the beginning.

The RE Kickoff Retreat is generally held in the late summer or early fall, which is an ideal time to think about the year to come, welcome and orient new leaders, and set intentions for the year.

This RE Kickoff Retreat agenda is designed to begin with 15-45 minutes of unstructured time for gathering followed by 2 hours of planned activities. (See two alternatives for structuring your time under the Schedule Overview section below; you can extend it to a half-day or break it into two shorter sessions.)

Preparing to Facilitate

The facilitator’s job is to make it easier for the group to have necessary conversations and make necessary decisions. They will need to manage the flow of conversation without dominating it with their own opinions and perspectives. Consider this ability as you select a facilitator.

Getting Ready

Decide upon a schedule for your time together, and whether and how you will provide food/refreshments and/or childcare.

As soon as you have made these decisions and chosen a date, time, and location, share all the information with your participants. Include the following links, and ask them to read the materials as pre-work before you gather:

• U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on Parenting and How We Can Respond
• The Continuum of De-Centering Curriculum
• Needs and Opportunities Identified by UU Youth

Whoever is facilitating should read through this entire article. Make sure you know how the retreat will flow, the intention of each activity, and how much time is allotted for each section.

Note: If you want more training on facilitation, especially in a multicultural context, we recommend the UU Institute course Facilitation for Transformation. 

Logistical Considerations

Playing video: As part of this retreat, we invite you to watch a video together. Before the retreat, figure out how you will do that in your space. If it is not possible to watch the video together, distribute it to participants to watch before the retreat and remind them of the key points as part of that discussion.

Taking visible notes: Some of the following activities require taking visible notes. The classic way to do this is with giant paper posted on the wall, which someone writes on as the group generates ideas. You can also do this on a computer connected to a projector or a large screen.

Handouts:

• Review suggestions and prepare printed materials for the Orienting portion of the agenda
• Make copies of the materials, found below under Resources and included in the print-friendly 2025 RE Kickoff Retreat Guide and Agenda (PDF).

Schedule Overview

Schedule Option 1: Gathering Time + 2 Hours Planned Activities

Schedule Options 2 and 3

Retreat Facilitation Guide

Gathering

Welcoming One Another and Getting Settled In to Your Space

15-45 minutes

Build some time into your schedule for gathering, greeting each other, and getting children settled into childcare. Offer beverages and snacks, or even a light meal. You may want to invite people to arrive anywhere from 15-45 minutes before your scheduled program starts.

Arrange your seating so everyone is comfortable. Set a chalice in the center of your circle. Test your technology. Play some music.

Before moving to the Opening, you may choose to lead an activity from Deeper Joy’s Bonding Harbor (such as Blobs and Lines) or Opening Up Beach (such as The Animal Game).

Opening

Grounding

5 minutes

Open with a Chalice Lighting, Opening Words, or an Opening Song.

Options for Opening (use one of these, or choose your own):

• Opening Reading: In Our Circle Again, by Shari Woodbury
• Opening Song: More of This, by The Sanctuary, Boston | YouTube (5:41)
• Opening Reflection: Prayer for the Lamp Keeper, by Joseph M. Cherry

Check-In

10 minutes

Go around the room and briefly share:

• Name and pronouns, if you wish
• Who’s in your family
• How are you feeling as we begin?

Ground Rules

3 minutes

Suggest to the group that the time you have together today is an opportunity to practice leadership skills essential for these times. As part of that practice, suggest the following group norms:

• Care for yourself (and your family) as needed; extend grace as others do the same
• Be as present as possible
• Take breaks when you need them
• Consent — share by choice; it’s okay to pass/pause
• Speak from your own experience
• Expect multiple perspectives
• Share space
• Pause for repair if needed
• Make room for joy, laughter, curiosity, sadness and silence
• Confidentiality — share your own experience only

Review the list and edit it as needed until your group agrees that it reflects and addresses your needs.

Notes to facilitator:

• If you find that your team consistently has trouble with these ground rules, it’s probably time to set aside time for a covenantal conversation
• If your team has an existing covenant, use that in place of these ground rules

RE Kickoff Goals and Schedule Overview

2 minutes

Tell the group: This RE Kickoff Retreat is designed to help us get aligned on our program’s core purposes and priorities. We will dig into the latest thinking on what’s working – on Sunday mornings and throughout the week – in programs that are inviting, engaging and affirming for children, youth and families. Then we’ll discuss and affirm our plan for our RE Team’s work in the year ahead.

Our agenda has us meeting for 2 hours and includes these parts:

• Opening, 20 minutes (which we’re just finishing up)
• Orienting, 20-25 minutes — during which we will go over our program’s mission/goals and map (or review) our current faith development plan for 2025-2026
• Meeting the Moment, 25-30 minutes — includes watching a video and then discussing the most urgent needs of parents, children, youth and families in our community
• Prioritizing and Planning, 40 minutes — during which we will make sure our energy and resources are being directed toward what’s most important and needed
• Closing, 10 minutes — where we will take a moment to integrate what we’ve discussed and appreciate the work we’ve done together

Orienting

20-25 minutes

If your Religious Education program has a written mission, statement of purpose, or list of goals, begin by sharing those. It may be helpful to post them in the room or provide a handout so the group can refer back to them later.

If you have a clear plan for your program for 2025-2026, have those who are most familiar with it share an overview with the group.

Provide enough details that everyone understands:

• What you will do (e.g. What classes will be offered for children and youth? What programs will be offered for families?)
• When programming will be offered (e.g. What will be offered on Sunday mornings, and how often? Will programs be offered at any other times?)
• Why you have chosen the model/curriculum/activities that are part of your plan (e.g. What are the goals of each curriculum? What are the needs you hope to address when you gather parents?)
• Who will lead various activities (e.g. Who is the staff and/or lay leader responsible for each activity? How many volunteers will be needed?)

It may be helpful to prepare a handout or look at the church website together, to ensure that everyone has access to the information they need to understand the program.

If you do not yet have a clear plan for 2025-2026, you may choose to:

• Review what was offered in 2024-2025, and/or
• Share a draft of the programming you may choose to offer in 2025-2026

Again, it may be helpful to prepare a handout so folks have something to consider and discuss later.

This is also a good time to talk with the group about the resources that are still needed to make your plans work (e.g. “If we want to offer middle school overnight retreats, we will need more adult volunteers”).

Note that it is likely that the group will want to jump into a deeper discussion – or even begin making changes to the plan – at this point. Let them know that there will be the opportunity to weigh in on priorities and plans later. Once you’ve oriented the group to the current status of your program plan, move on to the next section of the retreat agenda.

Meeting the Moment

Consider the Current Context

10 minutes

Provide participants with printed copies of the pre-work materials (linked below under Resources and included in the print-friendly 2025 RE Kickoff Retreat Guide and Agenda (PDF) found in Preparing to Facilitate, above).

Invite them to review the materials silently, without discussion, and to make some notes on these questions:

• Which of these trends seem to be true in our congregation?
• How have we responded to the challenges and opportunities facing parents, children, youth and families in our community?

Let them know that you will return to these questions after viewing the video, and there will be time for discussion.

View Meet the Moment Video

5 minutes

Let the group know that the video you are about to view will introduce a framework for the discussions you will have for the next hour.

Watch this video on the Meet the Moment framework: Meet the Moment (4:49)

Discuss Needs of Parents, Children, Youth and Families in Your Community

10-15 minutes

Ask:

• What are the most urgent needs and important opportunities of this moment for parents, children, youth and families in our congregation?

Invite people to spend a minute or two reflecting on their own answers to the question.

Next, go around the circle and ask each person to share their thoughts. People can pass entirely or pass for now and ask you to come back to them. Then have an open discussion about this question.

Take visible notes.

Prioritizing and Planning

Evaluate Planned Activities against Your Priorities

15 minutes

Ask:

• What are we already doing (or planning to do) that responds to these needs?
• What are the gifts of our congregation that could serve one of these needs?
• What could we add to our program that might address needs that are not addressed by the current plan?
• What do we have planned that might not be a priority after all, that we could consider scaling back or letting go to make room or free up resources for other priorities?

Take visible notes.

Create Plan or Adjust Current Plan for 2025–2026

15 minutes

In this section, you will make some decisions about which existing and/or new projects you will focus on this year.

• If your conversation makes it clear which ones have the most energy or seem the most important, suggest those to the group and see if they agree.
• If your priority projects are not obvious, or the group disagrees with your assessment, you can use the Sweet Spot tool to help you evaluate the ideas. It asks you to measure each one on five criteria.
• Alternatively, you might give everyone a certain number of “votes” to distribute among the ideas based on which item(s) they feel are most urgent and important. These are often stickers, but you can also do this with tally marks in marker. (Number of votes = half of the number of items +1; so if there are 8 possibilities, give people 5 votes. They can distribute however they want: 1 vote each on 5 items, 5 votes on 1 item or anywhere in between.)

Identify the top one, two or three projects. Be sure you have the capacity for the full menu of items you decide to prioritize. Note that looking at your capacity for the individual ideas was the first step, but before you finalize your decision about how many and which specific projects you will take on, you need to revisit the capacity discussion with the whole plan in mind.

Once you’ve decided which project(s) are the priority, ask if the group can agree to make those the focus for the year, even if they aren’t everyone’s individual top choices. (If not, then pause here and come back to this conversation at your next meeting. Call a trusted thought partner – such as your regional primary contact – in the meantime if you would like help on framing that conversation.)

Next Elegant Steps

10 minutes

Read this short explanation from adrienne maree brown:

My friend Gibran Rivera once articulated a question to me: ‘what is the next most elegant step?’ Oh, I love this question. Too often we come up with plans that don’t take into account the fog on the horizon. Then we go off and the work doesn’t happen, perhaps can’t happen, and then we feel demoralized because our energy doesn’t flow into action. An elegant step is one that acknowledges what is known and unknown, and what the capacity of this group actually is. An elegant step allows humility, allows people to say ‘actually we need to do some research’ or ‘actually we need to talk to some folks not in this room’ or ‘actually we need a full day to build this plan out into something realistic and attainable’.

In any conversation – and I would say in any moment in life – there is a next elegant step – one that is possible and strategic based on who is taking it and where they are trying to go.

For each of the projects you have chosen, decide what the next elegant step is, who will do it, and by when.

Take visible notes.

Closing

Check-Out

8 Minutes

Choose one of the following questions and invite the group to go around and answer.

• What’s one word or phrase that sums up how you feel right now?
• What’s one word or phrase that sums up what you are taking away from this time together?
• What’s one thing you learned in this time together?
• What’s one thing you are grateful for from our time together?

Closing Words

2 minutes

Thank your team for their participation. Offer a song or words for closing and extinguish your chalice.

Options for Closings (use one of these, or choose your own):

• Closing Words: Sharing Our Blessings, by Adam Slate
• Closing Song: Go On Your Way in Peace, by Hal Walker | YouTube (1:36)
• Closing Poem: Perhaps the World Ends Here, by Joy Harjo | YouTube (1:40)
• Closing Prayer: Offer a prayer of gratitude and blessing

Resources

U.S. Surgeon General Advisory on Parenting and How We Can Respond

From RE-sources

As UUA staff I get asked a lot of questions about parents and families from “where are the families?” to “how come parents aren’t volunteering in RE?” Parental stress is a big part of the answer to all of these questions.

U.S. Surgeon General on Parenting

The Continuum of De-Centering Curriculum

From RE-sources

On one end of the continuum, some congregations are using curriculum that have been in use for years and are still working well. At the other end of the continuum, other congregations are experiencing changes to the religious education program that are clear and dramatic. 

Continuum of De-Centering Curriculum

Needs and Opportunities Identified by UU Youth

Insights from conversations with UU Youth from around the Association about what they are concerned about and what they need from our congregations.

Download the 2025 Report from UUA conversations with UUA Youth (Google Slides)

Sweet Spot

By Sue Phillips, New England Region of the UUA

From LeaderLab

Dynamic congregations rarely have a hard time dreaming new dreams, but many struggle to choose from among a parade of compelling ideas about how to use their time and energy.

Sweet Spot

Explore More

Meet the Moment

Meet the Moment is a movement-wide framework helping Unitarian Universalists analyze, discern, and take action today’s religious, cultural, generational, and political realities.

Meet the Moment

The Midwest Unitarian Universalist Conference (MUUC) administers several funds that are available for grants to individuals or congregations in the MidAmerica Region (MAR) and the Pacific Western Region (PWR). These funds are invested and managed for MUUC by the Midwest Unitarian Universalist Foundation (MUUF).

The Ryder Fund: Originating with a gift from the will of the Rev. Dr. William Henry Ryder, the Ryder Fund is used to support elderly (age 65 and older) UU clergy and their partners, widows and widowers. Grants of $500-$2000 can be used for a variety of needs, such as medical or living expenses. Grants are limited, however, to one-time, discrete needs and are not for ongoing costs.

More information or to apply for a Ryder Fund Grant

The Laughlin Fund: Originating with a gift from the will of Iva Giles Laughlin, the Laughlin Fund is used to support elderly (age 65 and older) Unitarian Universalist lay people. Grants may be used for a variety of expenses, such as medical or living expenses, and generally are around $500. Grants are limited to one-time, discrete needs and are not for ongoing costs.

More information or to apply for a Laughlin Fund Grant

The Munroe Husbands Fund: The Munroe Husbands grant program supports efforts and programs of lay-led UU congregations. This may include funding attendance at conferences, supporting workshops, or other initiatives of a lay-led congregations. Grants are for one-time, not recurring expenses, and generally are no more than $2000.

More information or to apply for a Husbands Fund Grant

The Elandria Williams Fund: The Elandria Williams Fund provides financial support for UU youth in the MidAmerica and Pacific Western Regions for the purpose of attendance at UU camps, conferences, and retreats. It is in honor of former co-Moderator of the UUA, Elandria Williams, who deeply supported our youth and young adults.

More information or to apply for an Elandria Williams Grant

Process for Business Submitted by Congregational Action

Review the 2025 Delegate Packet

Context: The MidAmerica Bylaws (Article IV, Section 5, Business Submitted by Congregational Action) state that “Member congregations wishing to have business considered by the Annual Meeting shall do so following a process to be determined by the Board and communicated to the member congregations.”

Regional Business Submission Process

A congregation in good standing may propose an item of business for consideration by the 2025 Annual Business Meeting of the MidAmerica Region in the following manner.

1. The leadership of the congregation should contact the Region President, Patty Notch, or Vice President, McKenna Revel, for a preliminary discussion of how the proposed item of business relates to the authority and jurisdiction of the Region prior to submitting any items for consideration.
2. The item should be formally proposed by vote of the congregation’s governing board or its membership.
3. The proposed item should be formally endorsed by at least four additional congregations in good standing, in each case by vote of the congregation’s governing board or its membership.
4. The proposed business item and the endorsements should be received by the Region President, Patty Notch, or Vice-President, McKenna Revel, by March 15th, 2025.
5. Upon certification by the MidAmerica Board that the business item is within the authority and jurisdiction of the Region, it will be added to the agenda of the Annual Meeting.

Some possible categories of business submitted by congregational action could include:

• Social justice statements on issues specifically affecting our region;
• Policies affecting the governance of the Region and/or its congregations; or
• Other business appropriate for consideration by the Regional Assembly.

Please submit your proposals to midamerica@uua.org.

The above process was approved by the MidAmerica Board of Trustees on December 3, 2024 for the 2025 Annual Business Meeting of the MidAmerica Region.

The 2025 Annual Business Meeting will be held on-line on Thursday, April 24th, 2025.

By Sharon Dittmar

For those of us, like myself, who are white, one way to explore the concept of *whiteness is to do some genealogical research. During the past year I researched my Scottish and Welsh ancestors (1/3 of my DNA), who arrived in the United States in the mid 1800’s, in multi-generational family units who hoped (in the case of my Scottish ancestors) to leave poverty behind. I am not certain why my Welsh ancestors left, though I suspect it was probably due to economic opportunity (they left one coal and ore extraction site in Wales and moved to another one in eastern Ohio).

I wanted to research them so I had a better understanding of my own whiteness which includes distinct (though submerged) ethnicity and culture, and differences that make a difference. I suspect that my ancestors, upon leaving colonized control, violence, and exploitation, were eager to succeed in America and most likely embraced American ideas of “whiteness” which enabled them to achieve in ways inaccessible to them in the UK (which also, of course, included encouraging them in prejudice and racism against others – and so the cycle continues).

While on sabbatical this fall (August 25 – November 30) I am curious to visit the places they left (Merthyr Tydfil, Wales, and Killin, Scotland) and see if there is any familiarity for me. I also hope to dismantle and complexify my internalized white racial identity and narrative.

Prior to travel in Wales and Scotland, I will teach at the Unitarian College (seminary) in the UK where I will have the chance to learn more about our English Unitarian cousins. I will conclude my travels with a stop in the Czech Republic where I will be teaching at the Unitarian Academy (seminary), learning more about our Czech Unitarian cousins. While teaching in the UK and Czech Republic I will be listening for the differences that make a difference, and the challenges, opportunities, and hopes they have today.

This does mean I will be away from work for three months. After my travels I hope for some rest, and if all goes well, rejuvenation.

In Love and Faith,
Sharon

*If you are looking for a deeper dive into the history of whiteness, try this article from The Guardian, “The Invention of Whiteness: the long history of a dangerous idea” or this What is White Supremacy Culture? webpage from Tema Okun.

If you are a newer religious professional serving in UU faith development, this series will provide connection, community, and content!

This 3-part series course, offered in an online format, will be on Fridays, August 11, 18, and 25, 2023 at 10am-12pm PT / 11am-1pm MT / 12-2pm CT / 1-3pm ET.

This training is valued at $175 with Continuing Education Grants available.

Learn more and register on the New DRE Registration page. The registration deadline is August 4, 2023.

We’ve extended the deadline to apply for a curriculum developer/editor contract role with UUA Lifespan Faith Engagement. Please review the description of this project on the Freelance Opportunities page and apply by August 11. The program, Life Care Planning, will bring a needed UU faith lens to the important relationships care-givers and care-receivers can build as a care-receiver approaches end-of-life.

By Connie Goodbread

As human beings we are conflict avoidant – until we are not. Then we are willing to destroy one another.

Conflict begins when there is more than one idea, opinion, or experience in the room. We are so conflict avoidant that we even avoid using the word conflict for this experience. We can’t see that in the beginning, when there are a bunch of different ideas in the room, conflict is creative. This creative moment is called by some studies, “creative disequilibrium” – the state we are in when we do not know the answer. When we are unsure.

Often when we are uncomfortable with not knowing the answer and being unsure, we seek certainty that we are right and have all the answers. We do not make room for the ideas, opinions, and realities of others. This reaction can rob us of that initial creative moment and push us into deeper conflict that eventually leads to destructive behavior. We get uncomfortable, defensive, and maybe even fearful or angry.

In the face of this discomfort, when we can’t see the creative opportunity before us, we either back off – stop the discussion — or we begin a debate, designing a game plan for winning. If it continues this way, we begin to argue, trying to prove we are right and others are wrong. We begin to use the language of war. If it continues this way, we begin to find allies and choose sides. We begin using us and them language and behavior. If it continues this way, we begin to plot ways in which the “other side” can be defeated. If it continues this way, we try to find ways to hurt and destroy one another as enemies.

This scenario plays out over and over – in families, congregations, communities, and countries. It’s human nature and yet….

We could, with our large brains, decide right here and right now to do it differently. How might we begin?

What if we began with a promise to ourselves to remember that none of us has the one and only reality, way, or answer? What if we come to the deeper understanding that there is not one right way? What if we admit we don’t know everything and that we are better together? What if we begin to be very serious about our role as caretakers of one another, and of this beautiful blue planet? What if that caretaking is the meaning of life?

What if we begin in Covenant – because this is what I have described here. A Covenant is first and foremost to the values we want to amplify in the world. What if we hold ourselves accountable to those values and call ourselves, first, back into Covenant? What if we practiced to understand first and then to be understood? What would happen?

When we disagree in Covenant – I have an idea and someone else has a different idea. I have an opinion and someone else has a different opinion. Someone has had a different experience than I have had. What if instead of getting defensive I began with curiosity and did my best to understand their idea/opinion or experience? What if the other person did the same thing? What would happen?

Not needing to be right – admitting that we do not have all the answers – being open to ideas, opinions, and experiences of others — will help us to be in and stay in creative tension — creative disequilibrium – where all that is possible is open to us. A different reality is alive in the room and we find ourselves in a place of creative tension. It is exciting. We find ourselves leaning into one another and the process. The discussion becomes lively. Creativity is high, we come up with better, richer ideas.

We are so much more, so much better, so much stronger together. Don’t doubt that for a minute.

In this three-part series for budding and experienced leaders, participating will ground you in your own spiritual soil, acknowledge roots, discern flowers, find abundance, and preserve seeds to keep the harvest going.

Topics will include: UU and ancestral theology, the synergy of passion and mission, living out of conviction

When: March through May, participants will spend about 4 hours a month in a variety of solo work, small group discussion (once per month on group’s time frame) and a full group monthly meeting.

Full Group Sessions: 4th Tuesdays-March 28, April 25 & May 23
5-6:30 pm Eastern / 4-5:30 pm Central / 3-4:30 pm Mountain / 2-3:30 pm Pacific / 1-2:30 pm Alaska / 12-1:30 pm Hawaii

Who: Lay leaders in different areas of ministry (not limited to board). Congregational teams are encouraged but not required. Whether you have years of committee experience or are thinking about getting involved for the first time, this program is for you! Registration will close at Noon Pacific Time on March 21.

Fee: $60 per person, sliding scale, sliding scale based on your assessment of your ability to pay. Details and registration on the Registration page!

Greetings from Jan Gartner and Sean Griffin! We’re the Compensation Team within the UUA Office of Church Staff Finances. At the beginning of May, we launched a Compensation and Staffing Survey to help us learn how our congregations are staffed and what staff are paid. We’ve publicized it through numerous channels and responses have been rolling in. Has your congregation responded yet? (If you are unable to verify, drop a note to Comp@uua.org and we will check.)

We’re eager to begin analyzing the information, but we’ll hold the survey open through June 10 to enable even more congregations to participate. The staff member or lay leader most familiar with staff hours and compensation should complete the survey. We think they will find it quite intuitive, but we advise everyone to start by reading our Compensation and Staffing Survey, which outlines the information needed, provides a PDF preview, offers tips for completion, and links to the survey itself. Once the necessary information is gathered, it should take just a minute or two to enter your congregational information plus 1-2 minutes per employee.

As we rethink our approach to providing salary recommendations, having “actuals” will help us ensure that our recommendations are useful and realistic. Thank you for sharing your congregation’s information!

Congregational Leaders Check-Ins
Wednesdays, March 2, 9, 16, 23 & 30 at 1p ET / 12p CT

Small Congregation Check-Ins
Thursday, March 3 & Tuesday, March 15 at 7:45p ET / 6:45p CT

View our full calendar

Additional “On-Demand” content