MIDDLE AGE MIDDLE SCHOOL

Episode 059: The Scariest SadCast Ever: The Story of UVB-76

Mon, 16 Oct 2017 23:11:09 -0600

We are still around! Really!

It has been one of the busiest summers I can remember, and we have had one hell of a time to make time for anything. The podcast has suffered, the YouTube channel has been neglected, and our web site is actually covered in webs.

But we are getting back into it. Promise.

In this episode, I sit alone in a darkened studio and tell you the TRUE story of UVB-76 "The Buzzer", an AM transmission that has been sending secret code across the world for nearly half a century. It's like combining War Games with an Amber Alert. It's pretty terrifying. Enjoy! I absolutely hated recording this and editing it.

THIS WILL GIVE YOU THE HEEBIE JEEBIES GUARANTEEBIES!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM ALL OF US AT MIDDLE AGE MIDDLE SCHOOL!

This Episode features Teh Ben and a Nervous Breakdown

The Featured Commercial is from Benco's "Super Ultra Treat Mix" Halloween Supplies

Episode 058: The Emoji Movie is Superior to Saving Private Ryan

Fri, 18 Aug 2017 13:45:08 -0600

This episode quite overflowing with topics, indeed! We talk about the SNES Classic presale, the Atari Box, and the terrible Genesis Classic Edition. We also touch on movies like The Emoji Movie, It, and The Room.

Mosty importantly, we tackle and review 311's new album, Mosaic! Even though I'm two weeks late publishing this, I'm sure something is still relevant.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from AFHV: The Movie (When Saget Attacks)

Episode 057: Chillin' with my SNES Classic, Sippin' on Zima and Juice

Mon, 03 Jul 2017 15:00:38 -0600

Summertime, and the livin's easy...

They finally came out and revealed the details of the SNES Classic Edition this week! The boys pick apart the details and game listings, and they discover that Nintendo has a different opinion than most gamers about which games should be included in the new system. Overall, this is great news if you are a scalper because now you have two different plug and play systems you can buy out and then screw people over with!

We also talk about ARMS, the new Anti-Militia Far Cry (take my money already!!) and how it's great that Zima is back, because we forgot what wine made out sweaty gym socks tastes like. With the help of Poket Sitcom, we up our narrative game with cued laugh tracks that come on automatically any time there is a Scott Baio reference!!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from F.U. Airlines

Episode 056: Nintendo Switch First Impressions: "It's So Covfefe!!"

Mon, 12 Jun 2017 23:41:17 -0600

Here's a shocker for you all, the boys are back behind the mics again, and lo and behold, Teh Ben is hungover AF. We talk a little about current events like "covfefe" and Tiger Woods' incredibly sexualized mug shot.

But, Nate has a surprise up his sleeve! He brings his new Nintendo Switch into the studio to try and sell the new hardware to a hardcore "old school consoles only" guy. They play some rounds of Mario Kart 8 and he shows Teh Ben how many ways the Switch controllers can be reconfigured like a Transformer's penis. It was pretty amazing.

Sorry my speech was so slurred/painful in this episode, guys. It's the aftermath of recording a very intoxicated 055.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from DixPix 2

Episode 055: In Your Face, Fifteen Years Later

Tue, 06 Jun 2017 20:55:35 -0600

A little deviation of the norm is cleansing for the palate from time to time.

In this episode, two really old arthritic musicians get together to wax nostalgic over the only real studio album they ever got the funds together to record. We stream the album in it's entirety, and we give you all an insiders look into the secrets behind the songs, the recording process, and the intense hatred for Studio Divas.

This was a great time, and brought back lots of memories for us. The Summer Of Love is real!

#TSU2107

This episode features Shawn Scary and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from J.R.tunes

Episode 054: SNES Classic Required Games and Psychologically Damaging Your Kids For YouTube Fame.

Wed, 10 May 2017 22:49:23 -0600

We took April off. We got really into underground hamster racing.

In this fun-filled episode, we talk about Bad Stuff on the internet like Facebook Killers and the stuff that sinks to the bottom of wastewater treatment plants (also known as DaddyOFive) abusing his kids for cash. ITS JUST A PRANK BRO!!!

Nate takes the Internet Meme test, and uses his bubble card to make drawings of male genitalia.

And lastly, we debate what games are required to be on the mythical SNES Classic Edition. We came up with 23 titles, did we miss your favorite? We left Donkey Kong Country off the list because that game is worse than playing Drakkan with your eyes taped shut.

See you guys soon!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Podbean Of Greatest

Episode 053: The Pants Party at BEASTIVAL 5! (Pt.2)

Thu, 30 Mar 2017 21:43:48 -0600

The saga continues with MORE amazing interviews, and we try to narrow down the suspects to figure out who took a dump in the Playstation! More fun and adventure awaits you in the land of Middle Age Middle School!

Thanks for all the love, you guys!

Taped LIVE at Vision Comics and Oddities on 03-25-2017, Part 2 of two.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from THE THING!

Featuring the endlessly talented likes of:

Jhonette Pardue:

http://ghosttownwritersretreat.com

Daniel Crosier:

https://www.facebook.com/daniel.crosier

http://dinkdenver.com

Gareth K.

http://redteamgocolorado.com/

http://visioncomicsoddities.com/

Episode 052: The Pants Party at BEASTIVAL 5!! (pt.1)

Thu, 30 Mar 2017 21:31:38 -0600

What happens when you finally decide to spend a few hard earned dollars on some new equipment and a fresh setup? Better environments for EVEN BETTER interviews!

Everyone we talked to was on point, and extremely entertaining! Tons of hugs and keeeses to everyone who sat down in the hot seat and made us laugh!

Be sure to continue the adventure with Episode 053, which is the second half of our grand tour!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben and AMAZING GUESTS!

The featured commercial is from the Denver Innocence Project (It's an actual commercial, you guys)

FEATURED ARTISTS: (in chronological order):

Joseph Acosta of Taking Alpha (Badaass Intro music):

https://soundcloud.com/takingalpha

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/vic-carrabotta-s-legacy-starlady-comics-love-superheroes#/

The Denver Innocence Project:

http://denverinnocence.org/

Caustic Scifidelic and Christopher Malone of Scifidelic:

https://www.facebook.com/Scifidelic.Band/

Anthony Burke of Murdershow Independant:

http://www.coloradoindependent.com/156753/clarence-moses-el-son-anthony-burke-family-innocence

VISION COMICS!!!

https://visioncomicsoddities.com/

Episode 051: Lost Puppies/Weird Craigslist Ads

Mon, 27 Mar 2017 19:37:00 -0600

In the spirit of true rebel radio, the boys throw a bag of candy into the living room and then proceed to lock themelves in the studio as the children recreate The Lord of the Flies.

In this ill-prepared episode, the boys discuss microwave tampering and White House buggery. After wandering aimlessly for a while, they then decide to pull up some real ads from Craigslist Denver and proceed to make fun of people just trying to get five bucks for their gently used toaster.

Stay tuned! The next episode will be LIVE! From the BEASTIVAL 5 (It's really good stuff)!!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from I HEART DUBSTEP

(be sure to check out "Ben Fixes Everything" on YouTube, the commercial has a video equivalent!!!)

Episode 050: Twenty-Four EVEN WORSE Ideas In Marketing!

Tue, 14 Mar 2017 16:41:40 -0600

Season Two is officially in the rearview mirror! As we pull away from the last 24 episodes, we take a last look back at all of the commercials that we have produced for the show. We are truly blessed for the amazing sponsors that made Middle Age Middle School possible!

Be sure to support these great companies and great products! If you are going to Shakey J's place later, make sure that your immunizations are current and complete!

THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL THE LOVE!!!

This Episode features Mizz Dani and Teh Ben, with commercial voice acting by Nate Dog, Pat Daddy, Brandy, and all the unlucky children I put in front of a microphone with a barely legible script!

The featured commercial is: ALL OF THEM! (With a special thank you to Mr. A. Schwartzenegger).

BEASTIVAL 5 is on 3/25/17! The theme is "Ugly Jamiroquai Hats"

Episode 049: Our Columbia House Cassette Club Mix Tape To You

Sat, 11 Mar 2017 13:55:06 -0600

It's time to dust off those cassette singles and those terribly expensive bootleg Columbia House tapes and pick the best of the best in this TOP 12 list!

We start the episode by determining if Rolling Stones' Ten Worst 80's songs is legit, and then we start our own list of the greatest songs recorded during the Decade Of Cocaine. Come for the bad jokes, and stay for the nostalgia!

We always hang in a buffalo stance, something something gigolo perms, sucka!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Shakey J's Discount Vasectomy Clinic.

BE SURE TO COME OUT AND SEE US AT BEASTIVAL 5 ON THE 25th OF MARCH!

Episode 048: B*tches Get Switches - A Nintendo Story

Sat, 04 Mar 2017 23:46:42 -0600

There's absolutely no recapping of ANYTHING in this episode! Why? Because we take our show on the road and record our quest to try to get our greasy hands on a Nintendo Switch on release day. Listen to our laments as we get shot down, store after store! During the drive, we also cover lots of fun topics, such as Chick-Fil-A's homophobia, Pewdiepie being a confirmed Nazi and an almost incoherant tirade about where is the best place to shoot up outside a Wal-Mart.

Nate drove this time, and he did not tell me that the turn signal switch in his car is louder than a 747 at takeoff. Sorry aboot that.

This episode features Nate Dog, Caleb, and Teh Ben

There is no featured commercial, this episode is short and sweet, so I'm copping out the same way I did on the "Gamblin' Trip" episode. Sorry aboot that.

Episode 047: Tom Brady Cashed Me Outside. I Feel Violated

Sat, 18 Feb 2017 23:09:27 -0600

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Unless you are talking about our podcast, which could completely evapoate and the internet wouldn't bat an eye.

But whatevs. This episode is divided into three equally important parts.

Part 1: Catching back up with us and what's going on in our lives. Be sure to check out Round 1, which is a Chuck E. Cheese where all the games actually work.

Part 2: Super Bowl / Halftime show recap. Best and worst commercials.

Part 3: Politics. No more explaining needed. Proceed with caution!

See you guys in June!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The commercial is from Encyclopedia Britannica: Alternative Facts Edition

Episode 046: Elmo Was Aboard the Challenger and 2016 Sucked

Sun, 08 Jan 2017 01:05:41 -0600

Welcome to the future in 2017!

It's our first episode in 2017, and we start off the year with an in-depth discussion about the Mandela Effect. It's pretty crazy that large groups of people collectively have incorrect memories, but we pull a few of these examples apart and argue a bunch. The most divisive part of our argument involves describing Luke Skywalker looking like a pocket dog.

We survived yet another year, but there were a large amount of celebrities that didn't. We spend some time talking about them, and other crappy parts of 2016.

Here's to another year ahead of Middle Age Middle School!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is for : Shazzam! The Reissue

Episode 045: Hottest Christmas Toys '83-'99- From Cabbage Patch Kids to Nickelback

Thu, 08 Dec 2016 00:00:24 -0600

Happy Frozen Holidays from all of us at Middle Age Middle School!

We regret that we did not put out a Thanksgiving special this year, but you can only talk about Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving for so many hours. So instead, we've poured ourselves (a few stiff drinks) into the Christmas Holiday! More specifically, we talk about the hottest riot-inducing toys from the past and compare them to this year's offerings.

We also concede the election and pledge allegiance to President Sentient Cheeto Tiny Hands. Other topics include highlights from all the stupid stuff that's been going on in our lives, a little footall talk, and Look At This Graph.

Anybody actually seen a TalkBoy in the wild? We had no idea this stupid toy was even a thing. See you guys soon!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Dollar Tree Butcher Shop

Episode 044: Beastival 4: Trumpin' Loud N' Hard With the Undead

Sat, 05 Nov 2016 15:21:42 -0600

Thanks to your patience, the Beastival 4 episode is finally up! We had a great time hanging out with local talent and then coercing them into interviews (with promises of free beer)! Be sure to support local talent, it's the lifeblood of your community.

We also made exactly 387 Trump jokes over the course this episode. See if you can find them all. Grand prize winners get a 5% OFF coupon for Denny's Restaurants.

Again, mad thanks to everyone involved. If I need to make any changes to the description data, be sure to let me know. Please also share this episode so that everyone involved in this can find it and enjoy getting a headache listening to their interview time with us.

http://nefariousheart.com/

http://groovey.tv

http://duckupproductions.com

https://www.facebook.com/therealbootheghostgothug/

http://bloodsheddeathbath.com

This episode features Nate Dog, Dickie D, and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is THE TRUMP MEGA MIX: "Kristi's Story (Original Version)", "Grope-On" By Trump Inc, and Trump Tax Relief (For Trump).

Episode 043: 2016 Halloween Special! Best Movies and Karate Montages!

Mon, 31 Oct 2016 14:08:17 -0600

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

We made it. Even though this was recorded two weeks ago, WE STILL MADE THE DEADLINE OF OCTOBER 31st! We always try hard to include more episodes of the Halloween variety, but we just can't seem to get it together enough to make more than one, so ENJOY!

In this episode, we discuss the most important films to watch during the spooky season. If you aren't enjoying these, then you are wasting a perfectly good holiday! Come for the plates of basketti and stay for the raging debate of what "montage" (a film with several films built into a framing device) is which! They made at least ten of these in a row at the same point in time. Feel free to correct us on any of these, we got really confused during this discussion.

Stay safe this year and don't dress up as a clown. While the social panic is completely overblown, it's not worth it on the chance you run across the wrong idiot itching to exercise their God-given Second Amendment rights!

This episode features: Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from The Hipster Karate Kid

Episode 042: Riding Greased Lightning Straight to Hell! (Grease Fan Theories)

Thu, 29 Sep 2016 20:08:38 -0600

We have returned!

We recorded this two weeks ago, but I've been too swamped to complete this episode (sorry). In this edition of M.A.M.S., we talk about the disturbing fan theory behind one of the best movies of the late seventies- Grease. Is it true? Is it a lie? With the terrible ending the movie had, there's thousands of different interpretations that can be drawn. We also complain about some of the other obnoxious details with that movie.

We then dive into eBay buying and selling confessions, and try to determine if that Go-Bot in NY is worth the asking price of thirty bucks.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Shakey J's Discount Tattoo Parlor

Soon we will live-broadcast our episodes, so stay tuned!

Episode 041: 6 Great Denver Restaurants That Are Now Laundromats

Wed, 07 Sep 2016 22:43:37 -0600

Once again, we take another deep cut into the misty realms of the past! In this episode, the boys delve into all the awesome franchised eateries that Denver used to have that were exterminated by none other than the Unholy One, Chuck E. Cheese. We relive the flavors that permeated the old days, when seafood restaurants had barbecue sauce that doubled as the elixir of life, a food place that was based around a deranged organist and his monkey, and of course, the burger joint named after a totes naughty sexual act.

We miss these amazing places dearly, and beg to ask the question of how these places all went under, yet Casa Bonita will manage to thrive into the 24th century. The canned food industry is counting on them.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Forrest Trump

Episode 040: Best Denver Landmarks That Got Bulldozed and Turned Into Home Depots

Wed, 31 Aug 2016 21:27:39 -0600

The past questionably comes alive!!!!

In this direct-to-VHS episode, the boys sit down, and get all misty-eyed with nostalgia remembering our favorite places in Denver that don't exist anymore. The march of time (and rising property rent) waits for no one, and we sit down and recant our best memories of the best places to hang out at as kids in the 80's and 90's.

Come for Walt Disney's Celebrity Sports Center, and stay for funny stories of making perverted shadow puppets inside the kid version of Thunderdome!

...yeah, we kind of ruin these places as we go.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from ThoughtsAndPrayers.com

Episode 039: Gamblin' With My Pokeballs

Thu, 28 Jul 2016 21:48:59 -0600

My car is so insanely loud inside, I think some hoodlums installed headers on my car in the night. Regardless, here's a fun live episode recorded on a trip from Denver to Black Hawk. Living 35 minutes away from legitimate gambling establishments is both a blessing and a curse at the same time. Yes, it's convenient, but it can also be so convenient that it becomes a scary and expensive habit.

But we don't get to go very often because we are always swamped with work and projects, so a nice respite from time to time is much needed and well deserved. Enjoy our live broadcast where we hunt Pokemon, tell funny stories from the past and make fun of Trump on the heels of the RNC.

This episode features The Big Wolf and Teh Ben

NO COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTION THIS EPISODE. I have a brutal sinus infection and I've barely been able to get through this week as it is.

Episode 038: "Please Refrain From Catching Pokemons at the Holocaust Museum"

Wed, 20 Jul 2016 22:18:58 -0600

THE NINTENDO EPISODE HAS ARRIVED!

This entire entry is nothing but the wonderful, wonderful world of Nintendo and their amazing strides in recapturing public interest en mass over the course of the past week. They are once again poised to dominate the Earth like they did during the 80's. Personally, I can't wait for the Mario Bros.Cereal System to make a comeback as well.

Nate also discusses copyright law on YouTube to Teh Ben in small words (for Teh Ben's comprehension) which explains why it hasn't started raining money for him yet. Celine Dion is snaking away his mad profits.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Drunken Uncle Ted Talks

Episode 037: Tales of the Veterans of the Great Pop Bottle Rocket War

Sun, 03 Jul 2016 17:09:45 -0600

Ah, the fun of the holidays during the best season of the year... We love our Fourth of July dearly. The emancipation of our country was okay, but we are really excited for the barbecue, alcohol overconsumption and near-death experiences with cheaply made explosive devices. It's like the American version of Cinco De Mayo!

We also express our love for Youtuber SWAROOK and talk current events before we dive deeply into memories of all the times we cheated Darwin repeatedly as children with illegal fireworks and lighters.

MERICA!!!!!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from E*Stork

Episode 036: Flea, Prince Be, and Me!

Sun, 26 Jun 2016 18:43:54 -0600

As more musical fatalities start to pile up in 2016, we have less choice on what music to use because we always pay tribute to fallen greats from our childhoods. So we highlight the most recent one (Prince Be) with what we hope is a fitting eulogy.

In this episode, the boys cherry pick the best avenues of all scopes of entertainment. We discuss the best movies, television, video games and music that has recently become available and rate them on a "Five Potato Scale" that is soon to be adopted by all critics.

BONUS: We play a new game, "Name That 80's Adult Film Parody", which is exactly what it sounds like.

There are angels, in the clouds....and they're doin' it.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from T.S.A. The Amusement Park

Episode 035: The Finalest of Fantasies!!!

Mon, 06 Jun 2016 21:32:18 -0600

ELF NEEDS FOOD BADLY!!

In this interesting episode, the boys talk about all sorts of current events, denounce Trump and then debate if Johnny Depp has T-Mobile or Verizon. Then, once the dust has cleared, they tackle the topic at hand!

What were your favorite RPG console games? We attempt to sort out the winners from the losers with a Top Ten Best RPG's of ALL TIME list!

"Sir DBAG searched and found......nothing"

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from: Dr. Brown's Pull-Ups For Truckers

Episode 034: Seven Minutes in Heaven with Megaman!

Sat, 07 May 2016 15:04:02 -0600

Spending one month away from a mixing board has managed to coat all of us in a thick blanket of rust, but we are back in action like a sentient Volkswagen Type-1. Sorry for the delays, Superfans, we are still trying to remember how to soundboard.

In this episode, we catch you all back up with Mile High news and all sorts of personal secrets. Then we delve into the joys of finally picking a current generation console and reveling in all of the great new game titles. We also talk about quitting Facebook cold turkey, and get sad talking about the passing of Prince and how everyone is using his name hashtag to sell everything from cars to feminine hygiene products. We also poke fun at Tay the overly racist A.I. and go off the rails on the greatest boat name ever created.

Once we finally get back to the present, we spend seven minutes discussing the podcast topic, "What Is The Best Megaman Game?", and it ends up being the most efficient debate you've ever heard. Rockman!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The Featured Commercial is from KNIGHT RIDER 2K16

This episode is sponsored by the Fred Durst Society Of The Humanities And Arts

Episode 033: Carrot Top Sucks and Other Fun Facts About St. Patrick's Day!

Sun, 20 Mar 2016 22:40:08 -0600

We have come forth, finally, in glorious HD audio. No longer will you be subjected to any obnoxious hissing noise from electrical resistance from inside a junky interface made by a well-hated audio product manufacturer, but you will be surrounded by blissful SILENCE!

We finally cut the crap, pull the professionalism up a notch and get the non-working cogs in the machine completely out of the picture so we could have a crystal clear dialogue about:

Pukin' Punkin' Upchuckin'

The arrival of Dr. Butt Fumble himself in the Mile High City

Trolling video game stores (NOT WITH BATTLETOADS)

And many other random subjects, brought together with the magic green glue (possibly leprechaun snot) of St. Patrick's Day!

We published a holiday episode only FOUR DAYS AFTER THE HOLIDAY! A new record!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Shaggy and Shaggy's Groovy Bombastic Dispensary.

Episode 032: An 80's Upbringing Versus Millennial Neckbearding (Pt. 2)

Thu, 17 Mar 2016 23:14:33 -0600

It's the second dusty LP record to the double amazing Episode 031!

We continue to berate millennials, continue our undying support for Emperor Trump, and continue going off the rails worse than the Amtrack on a good day.

Come for the four minutes dedicated to the topic, stick around to enjoy the train wreck!

Bonus! This episode features a (really) lo-fidelity cut from The B.J. Bros' "We Called You, Too Bad" album!

This episode features Pat Daddy and Teh Ben

The Featured commercial is a LIVE traffic update for KFUX Radio.

Episode 031: An 80's Upbringing Versus Millennial Neckbearding (Pt. 1)

Tue, 08 Mar 2016 23:55:17 -0600

You kids these days, with your Lady GaaaGaaa and your dubstep that sounds like a tape deck being shredded by a garbage disposal... in my day, we didn't have it that easy. We wore Hypercolor shirts and had to mow lawns all summer in hope to one day own a Shipwreck action figure (with kung-fu grip)...

In this episode, we start to analyze why the next generation has it so easy this time around, even though they are missing out on some great stuff like free concussions and fresh mountain air.

Other topics include: Why Donald Trump hates brown M&M's, Hitler's misshapen manhood, and ROBOGRANNY5000.

This episode features Pat Daddy and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Dagobah Dating

Episode 030: The Customer Is Always Right, Unless He's Got Dysentary

Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:27:17 -0600

We are ridin' dirty with the Sons Of Urethra (our motorcycle gang) this week!

Actually, we have the most fun with a Behringer interface in the history of mankind, but don't let our technical (non) prowess dissuade you from listening to our TALES OF RETAIL CUSTOMER SERVICE!

There's muggings, Sandwich Artistry, and teenagers with explosive bowels!

This episode features Pat Daddy and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from SPOILERS DOT COM

Episode 029: Deez Nutz Will Never Be President!

Sat, 27 Feb 2016 01:11:44 -0600

We have sat down and done all kinds of Venn Diagrams and other scientific-style graphs, and have proven once and for all that Peyton Manning is definitively part of the Illuminati. All the evidence is iron-clad proof, and he is using mind control through Papa John's pizza and Budweiser.

Okay, well maybe that's a stretch, but we go over the final football analysis of the season, the final stand of the branch Dildonians, talk a little politics trash and then delve into the brand new local arcade that opened up in L-Town.

So much fun, and so many booty traps are to be sprung!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Buttafuoco 2016

Episode 028: In the Bone Zone at the Beastival 3!

Mon, 22 Feb 2016 23:01:34 -0600

Love is in the air in this episode, as we recorded it on Valentine's Eve!

Well, not really. We tried really hard to line up interviews to conduct with local Denver artists, but we failed miserably at recruiting victims. So we took several takes of fun conversations that were attempted over the blaring noise of some local bands in the hollow cathedral that is the Mile High Comics Superstore.

Patience, is definitely a virtue in this one, superfans! Stick some meat down your pants!

This episode features: Nate Dog, Dickie D. and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Super Frosted Honey Badgers

Episode 027: Bacteria Can't Build Satellites!

Wed, 27 Jan 2016 22:35:09 -0600

The boys are back with a sub-standard recording setup to mourn the impacting loss of David Bowie. After they belt out a few bars of his top hits, the mood improves and the boys pick right back up and continue saying idiotic things. Middle Age Middle School critiques a touring Michael Jackson cover band (Who's Bad?), tell stories about having problems with media in the PAL format in North America.

They also cheer on the favorites, the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers (Winning!!) and then sit down to cherry pick the best possible groups of musicians to create the most awesome Frankenband the world has ever conceived.

MEATLOAF IS STUCK ON TEMPTATION ISLAND AGAIN!!!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Time Life Music: The Wesley Willis Collection.

Episode 026: Kitt Fister and Connie Lingus Sign Up To Fight In The Star War!

Tue, 12 Jan 2016 23:33:45 -0600

And now the holidays have finally passed us by, but not without a few casualties. Teh Ben ended up being violently ill for the better part of a week because some filthy jagoff in the theater was unable to wash his hands after taking a crap.

So, we are back with a new season, but are we better?

Hell no! Same routine as always with a quick recap of our last few weeks, laughing about the time Teh Ben sent a Pepperidge Farm gift basket to Rise Against, lots of fun going over the hottest internet stories and we close with a semi-competent topic.

THE FORCE AWAKENS! We came, we saw, we got norovirus from it all.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Forrest Gump 2

Episode 025: 24 Bad Ideas In Marketing

Thu, 24 Dec 2015 13:54:16 -0600

Happy Christmas Eve to all of our SUPERFANS!

Santa was up on the rooftop of the house installing a HD video camera pointed at that one neighbor's bedroom window for...uh..data recording reasons. While he was fumbling with the wiring, he scraped some reindeer dookie off the bottom of his boots and dropped that down the chimney. After we discovered this gift, we held it aloft in it's glory and we realized it was a flash drive containing all of the Middle Age Middle School Commercials!

So we decided to leave this collection under your tree. And if you were wondering what that horrible smell was, now you know.

This episode features Caitlyn and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is ALL OF THEM

Episode 024: Sixty Dollar Santa ! (No Lapdance Included)

Sun, 20 Dec 2015 22:18:27 -0600

In the first installment of the Middle Age Middle School ~~Halloween~~ Christmas Special, the boys go through the normal paces of discussing the current week (well, what was current last week) in the NFL and not-so-current events. After both of them chose to visit the Shrek themed Santa display at the local mall separately, they give a review of the overall orange sponsored experience. Lastly, they read their Christmas lists to Santa in hopes that by a miracle, they might receive a few last minute gifts that they could actually use.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from STOP OBAMA NOW!! Llc.

Episode 023: I Got A Black Eye And My Juicer Stolen On Black Friday

Sun, 29 Nov 2015 18:09:10 -0600

The boys follow up the Middle Age Middle School (non-denominational) Thanksgiving Special with the Middle Age Middle School Black Friday Special! One of them went out to fight against the violent hordes to save three dollars on a one-of-a-kind vegetable steamer, and one of them chose to sit around drinking until blackout on Black Friday.

We also talk a little about football and then have fun reading disaster-filled tweets sent out by corporation puppets that captivated and angered the denizens of the internet for 7 to 8 hours. Strokemon!

(Note: Episode published before outcome of Sunday Night Freezeball game)

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from The Retirement Home For Russian Videogames

Episode 022: Let Your Dog Cook Dinner, Charlie Brown!

Tue, 24 Nov 2015 23:59:34 -0600

The boys return from an away game just in time to squeak out a new episode before everyone's favorite (drinking) holiday! This episode takes cues from the SadCast format and all topics move lightning quick, but tune in for football predictions, a review of Atom The Amazing Zombie Killer, current trending events and the most plausible explanation as to how all the adults in the Charlie Brown universe disappear before Thanksgiving.

We also gloss nostalgic on Thanksgivings from days past and make fun of Green Day's video making skills. Enjoy listening to our rants as you slowly drift away in a turkey juice induced coma....

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is The McRainforest

Episode 021: The Star War Began At The Beastival!

Tue, 17 Nov 2015 22:56:30 -0600

Sometimes you've just gotta take the show on the road!

Middle Age Middle School comes to you this week from the Beastival 2 at the Mile High Comics MEGASTORE! Originally I intended to just record me and Rich screwing around and causing trouble, but the artist community that was involved in this event was just too awesome to not pass up an opportunity to interview these extremely talented people. I never have conducted an interview with anybody before (and it shows) but these turned out really good.

I eventually was able to dial in the levels better, so as the show progresses, the sound quality improves, so just hang in there! I have made a note on my board to never bring condenser microphones to a convention ever again.

Web sites for interviewed artists:

Stan Yan: stanyan.me

Peter J Wacks:facebook.com/PJWacks

David Boop: davidboop.com

Richard Taylor: atomtheamazingzombiekiller.com

J.A. Campbell: writerjacambbell.wordpress.com

This episode features: Dickie-D, Teh Ben, and actual talented people

The featured commercial is from Spurmin's Hymenway

Episode 020: SADCAST 3: Jesus Loves You, But He Loves Double Bass More

Fri, 13 Nov 2015 00:52:46 -0600

Everybody is still either out of town or in Anaheim molesting one of the seven dwarfs, so I had to go into my (mostly) renovated studio to record all by my lonesome.

In this SadCast, I tried to bounce around on topics a little more than usual to keep everything like the Love Boat, exciting and new. This made it turn into more of an A.D.D.Cast, but sit back and feast your ears on all sorts of crazy topics; ranging from Santa's holodeck, 5 crappy animals at work, football news and even though it's four days late, the RED STARBUCKS CUP FIASCO. Just try to pretend that it's Tuesday and that I'm cutting-edge in the editing department.

This episode features: Teh Ben and Zuul, the gatekeeper of Gozer

The featured commercial is from: The Mid-Life Crisis Loan Company

Sidenote: Be sure to come hang out with Middle Age Middle School at the Beastival on Nov. 14th!

Episode 019: HALLOWEEN SPECIAL PART II : Private Eyes Are On Your Privates

Thu, 29 Oct 2015 23:51:36 -0600

Part I of our HALLOWEEN SPECIAL focused on the gaming aspect of getting into the spirit of the fall season, and the second followup episode is focused on the musical aspect of setting the best Halloween tones to your season!

Revel in Teh Ben's memories of Mr. Gillum's freaky Pink Floyd scare show that gave him the terror-shits every autumn, and listen in on the boys as they dust off the turntable to bring you the A-side of Disney's "The Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House" LP. Be aware these tracks may or may not conjure up images of Lobsterman.

We also discuss current events, fantasy standings and then give you the finest picks for the most epic Halloween playlist! Private Eyes (the creepy mustache guy from Hall & Oates) are totes focused on your private parts! (and they are laughing)

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Rocco's Surplus Nintendo Cereal

Episode 018: Halloween Special Part I! (and Soapbox Rantin')

Tue, 20 Oct 2015 22:52:14 -0600

In this episode, the boys forgot to give the kids Benadryl before hitting the record button, so in advance, we would like to apologize for the drunken Clydesdale race upstairs.

We discuss some current trending events and topics that are invading your Facebook feed, and challenge Glen Danzig to a nude oil wrestling match. We also give you lots of tips on how to be the best 'Merican you can be!

Then we get into the spirit of Halloween by discussing some of the best games to play from years past to get into the Halloween groove. Dust off your Nintendos and join us in pixelating your spooky holiday to the extreme!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from HANGNEXX, The #1 Prescription For Stopping Hangnails.

Episode 017: Internet Rage! A Renewable Energy Source We Can All Get Behind!

Sat, 03 Oct 2015 16:01:10 -0600

"Hey Doc... This is heavy!"

The boys of your favorite school sit down and discuss the current trending topics that are invoking INTERNET RAGE AND RETRIBUTION across the globe! They take turns dissecting these stories a lot like that time you had to cut up that frog in Life Science class, minus the formaldehyde stench and inevitable vomiting that followed.

We explain lots of things, starting off easy with fantasy football statistics and then plunge genitalia-first into stories about KONY 2012, KSU marching band, Bill Cosby and three-breasted hoaxers.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from: Oculus Rift For Baby

Episode 016: Worst Movies With The Sexiest Pink Wigs

Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:25:13 -0600

In this episode, we have a conversation with a professional game streamer and longtime friend (Dickie-D), discussing our most favorite worst films. Of course we also touch base with the shared past of playing music together and collectively dodging shots from JR's fertile baby bazooka.

We talk about the films Riki-Oh, Turbo Kid, Birdman and Ghost Shark. Those movies are pretty awful, but our dissection of each one leads us closer and closer to our desire to get drunk.

This episode features: Dickie-D, Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from: The Kentucky County Clerk Super Fun Playset

Episode 015: 2 SadCast, 2 Furious

Sun, 13 Sep 2015 02:20:19 -0600

Oh, solo mio!

Once again, I have failed to entice my co-hosts into coming over for a bit to record some audio in my sweet nursery/studio, so I had to go it alone again. I promise that I don't sing in this one, but I play some of the worst music ever recorded and pressed onto CD format.

My main talking points:

1) An detailed breakdown of the whole Facebook advertising debacle mess from a couple weeks ago. (My bad!)

2) An evening of Vogon Poetry Volume Two.

3) An audiobook recording of "I Like Treasures as Much as I Love Turtles" article, wherein I make it pretty obvious I'm not very good at either reading or speaking.

This episode features: Teh Ben and Nude Imaginary Friend

The featured commercial is from: A Chicken Farm

Episode 014: Super Bowl Predictions and Cover Song Countdown!

Tue, 18 Aug 2015 20:45:00 -0600

The season is changing, The temperatures are slowly dropping. The smell of sweaty dudes in spandex crashing into each other at full speed wafts gently in the air. The best sporting season is once again upon us, and in celebration, we chose the victor of this coming years' Superbowl like true experts.

Do we crunch statistics and numbers?

No.

Do we go into great detail over the current strengths of each team?

No.

Do we get blindfolded and throw darts at Post-It Notes with team names on them?

Pretty much. We boot up a Super Nintendo in the studio, put in Tecmo Super Bowl III Champion Edition and have the computer run a season simulation for the year "19XX", thus crowning a predicted winner.

After we talk about that, we discuss what we believe to be the best 10 cover songs of all time; your mileage may vary.

This Episode Features: Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The Featured Commercial is from (and guest-stars): Mike P.'s new album "Songs In The Key Of ?"

Episode 013: Po-Po-POTpurri and Potent Potables

Wed, 05 Aug 2015 21:24:38 -0600

The boys from the 'school get booted from the normal studio and are forced to record upstairs in a cavernous dining room, next to the World's Loudest Refrigerator.

In this extremely drunken episode, they hit on all sorts of strange current topics, which are rendered completely irrelevant when published two weeks late (sorry, superfans!)

And the categories are:

Fire In Las Vegas

Weed Legislation

Motorcycle Etiquette

Pluto News

Hulk Hogan Sex Tape, and

THE 311 ALBUM RANKING CHALLENGE!

This episode features Teh Ben and Nate Dog

The featured commercial is from Craigslist+

Episode 012: Part DEUX of Least-Worst Gigs

Wed, 22 Jul 2015 05:32:59 -0600

Oui, Oui!

The boys delve deeply back into fond memories from touring and gigging around town the last two decades, using samples from a stack of terrible live recordings to put you there with them. Back in the 2000's, we were well known as a band that would get annihilated onstage, start playing some Popeye music and just start beating up fans. Sometimes, we'd even attack each other. Oui! the stupidity of youth!

This episode features Pat W and Teh Ben

The Featured Commercial is from Eat.Poop.Love

Episode 011: The Origin Of The Troll

Tue, 14 Jul 2015 19:16:32 -0600

In this gripping episode, the boys recant the early days of trolling. From being banned from BBS boards, Prodigy, Sierra Online and AOL, these guys go out of their way to annoy everyone and anyone. In between these misty memoirs, they also give a genuine apology to the Behringer company, fudge the details of MS-DOS commands and we learn that Teh Ben also has a disturbingly sick time travel fetish.

...Teh Ben also gives an explanation for how he came to be known as "TEH BEN". It's a wild ride, indeed!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Faith's Boarding House For Carrots And Motor Oil

Episode 010: No Time For Love, Dr. Jones!

Wed, 08 Jul 2015 21:21:43 -0600

It's certainly nice to get another living, breathing human being in the studio again! In this riveting episode of Middle Age Middle School, the boys re-create the pottery scene from Ghost.

Just kidding! That would be gross! Instead, they play some creepy clown music, do some dream interpretation and then go into details about problems and/or questions that arise from the best movie series that has ever been pressed to celluloid (No, it's not Twilight).

There is no history.

There is no religion.

There are no artifacts.

Only aliens exist.

This episode features: Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from: Will N. Dowd's Used SUV's

Episode 009: Podcast Blues/Analog Boy in a Digital World

Tue, 30 Jun 2015 18:35:24 -0600

Just like in the past, Teh Ben finds himself to be the overweight and unpopular kid that nobody asks to go with to the dance. So instead, he just goes home, saddened by getting shot down, and chooses to take out his frustrations on the sleeve of his favorite jacket.

Even with the promise of free liquor and a stack of 90's era Penthouses, Teh Ben could not lure either of his co-hosts to Skylab this week, so in a jacket-humping act of desperation decided to record an episode all by himself. He first discusses podcasting problems, reads funny stuff from Twitter and then finishes off by hooking up his Radio Shack Cassette Deck into the board so he can taunt his past self.

This Episode Features Teh Ben

The Featured Commercial is from Dr. Brown's Amazing 8-Hour Laxative

Episode 008: Ancient Gaming - We're Our Own Grandpas

Tue, 23 Jun 2015 04:44:48 -0600

The boys step drunkenly into the wayback machine to go into the distant past and talk about the Atari 2600 and Intellivision in their glory days. They talk about favorite titles from each system and recant their fathers' achievements, ranking in Pitfall Harry's Adventure Club or just writing Acclaim angry letters. They also take time to berate millenials, Canadians and illustrate how Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Treasure Of Tarmin could lead to joining a Satanic cult.

Sure, the ancient games sucked and the endings were either a repeating loop or they just froze in place, but these resolutions were better than the ending we got in Mass Effect 3.

This Episode Features Teh Ben and Nate Dog

The featured commercial is from JR Brand Condoms

Episode 007: This Voltron Smells a LOT Like a Flea Circus!

Mon, 15 Jun 2015 23:07:30 -0600

In this incredible episode, our heroes decide to talk about Americanized anime from days past. Instead of formulating a decent outline for discussion, they instead begin drinking far too early. They veer off-topic (more than usual) and instead of talking about cartoons, talk about the terrible Poltergeist remake, Mad Max, 80's toys and OK soda.

Interface issues still seem to plague these poor guys, but through slick post-production and a newly-installed Borat soundboard, they seem to do just fine. No matter how many technical problems they face every time they sit down behind the soundboard, they manage to focus on the important things, such as Aphrodite A's missile firing breasts.

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The Featured commercial is from Teh Ben's School For Bass Playing Excellence

Episode 006: The Vegas Diaries- Puke Pinatas and Dirty Pokemon Cards

Tue, 09 Jun 2015 16:18:17 -0600

In this enlightening episode, the boys recant their love and repeated trips to The Greatest City On Earth. On top of giving extensive gambling advice to help you take the house to the cleaners, they also imbue life hacks that are required for visiting this wonderful disease-filled city.

You'll now know exactly what to do if:

You ever feel the need to redecorate your hotel room with vomit!

You ever have to deal with the terror that is the Las Vegas ER!

What to do with all those naughty lady cards they hand out on the street!

How to piece together your night after you wake up from being roofied, partially blind and surrounded by naked people!

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!!!

This episode features Pat W. and Teh Ben

The Featured commercial is from DixPix Wiener Editing Software

Episode 005: A Small Recollection of Our Least-Worst Gigs

Sun, 31 May 2015 19:57:43 -0600

In this episode, Pat and Teh Ben sit back, sip strong coffee and wax nostalgic on gigs from Christmas Past. They get most of the details right, but they refuse to list them in chronological order whatsoever. Revel in the magic of the Secret T-Shirt Show, the terror of the Scooby-Doo World Tour, and the "I Go Pee-Pee in Your Cup" Riot. These two never give in, and will always be the band of jerks that fearlessly insulted all the bands that captured record deals during the Record-Companies-Will-Sign-Any-Band-In-Denver-Gold-Rush of 2005. They have remained unsigned by a major label, not because they have questionable musical talent, but because it is just too much fun to call the FloBots the "BlowBots" to their faces.

This episode features Pat W. and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Brown Horizons Home Un-Flippers

Episode 004: Dragging a Parrot Kicking and Screaming Down a Mine Shaft

Wed, 20 May 2015 17:11:18 -0600

In this all-too-informative episode, our brave heroes of Middle Age Middle School pass a milestone event for the podcast! In order to try to appeal to a broader audience and win the respect of an intern at iTunes, the boys attempt something new and unheard of. They try to make something....educational.

They manage to get a few facts close to the ballpark of accuracy, but in the process of this manage to screw up other facts about the Terminator franchise, I Love Lucy and Michael Jackson's purchasing habits.

Bring your parrot, or risk death by asphyxiation!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from Two Drunk Dudes Moving Company

Episode 003: An Evening Of Vogon Poetry, Volume One

Sun, 10 May 2015 21:57:42 -0600

Moving, no matter if you are moving into a hovel or a mansion, will always totally suck. Sometimes, though, a few buried treasures can be gleaned from keeping a sharp eye out while you move a dusty box from one storage spot to the new dusty storage spot. We came across a ratty notebook full of Nate's old angry teenager poetry and decided to have a few drinks and share this national treasure with the rest of the world.

Enjoy!

This episode features Nate Dog and Teh Ben

The featured commercial is from J.R. BurnerPhone

Episode 002: Origin Tales - How Capn' Jager Met the Pinball Wizard

Fri, 08 May 2015 16:54:17 -0600

In the second installment of Middle Age Middle School, the touring musician half discuss events and poor decisions that would one day lead to intersecting crossroads where they would eventually meet. Through the barrage of issues brought on by the demons of poor management, drunken rampages and embezzling, it's a miracle that these two didn't give up entirely on the dream decades ago.

This episode features Teh Ben and Pat W.

The featured commercial is from Brown Farms Puppy Mill

Episode 001: Christmas Memories and a Zapper Full of Greens

Sat, 25 Apr 2015 09:48:20 -0600

In the inaugural episode of Middle Age Middle School, our graying heroes reflect back on Nintendo as Nintendo reflects itself back unto them. ROB the Robot, Tegen Tetris and Mode 7 are remembered fondly with bizarrely specific memories associated with games that span two decades

This week's episode features Teh Ben and Nate Dog

Featured Commercial: Doug Van White Live! at the Perinium