It’s been almost 5 years since I published something here. I totally didn’t realize that until I logged in tonight to write and publish this. Bananas. I think I redesigned the whole site and didn’t tell anyone, and also didn’t publish anything. Hilarious. But that’s a topic for another day. Hopefully not a day too far away from now.

So, what have I been doing for these last five years? Well, meditating, for one thing, as you may have guessed from the title.

It’s currently 10:22pm on Thursday, April 27th, 2023. About a half hour ago, I sat down to meditate for the two thousandth day in a row. I did 10 minutes, guided, in my desk chair for some reason. Honestly, I was pretty distracted the whole time because it’s so wild to me that I hit this milestone.

2,000 days. Two thousand. It doesn’t matter how I spell it, it still feels weird to write that sentence; like it’s true but feels like it’s about some other person.

You see, I’m not what I’d call a real big meditation guy. *gasp*  It’s just something that never came easy to me.

I always liked the idea of meditation, even as a kid. I had even tried to do what I imagined mediation to be several times as I was growing up. Close your eyes, chill out, maybe think about something or try not to think and instead focus on your breath. Something like that, maybe in a pretty place or in nature, or maybe in your car or couch. In fact, meditation is not complicated. That’s kind of all there is to it. Meditation is pretty light in the barriers to entry department.

Sounds lovely, you must be thinking. But not for me. See, I have a little condition I like to call being distracted as fuck and incapable of not thinking about every actual thing all of the actual time. ADD? A busy mind? Madness? Genius? If you say so. Still, for me to sit still for 10 minutes with nothing to do except quietly keep myself company, it can unpleasant. Challenging.

Still, the hero prevails. You’ve already read the title. So I won’t hype up my burdens beyond this point. Arguably we’ve already gone too far.

Anyway, perhaps not unlike yourself, I always liked the idea of meditation. I have above average skill at anxiety and overthinking, but those things aren’t as fun as the idea of being zen or chill or self actualized or whatever. So, I decided I’d do it as a 1 month experiment. I read a book called Mindfulness in Plain English. Good book. I was convinced. So, I sat down on the first of the month, got comfy, closed my eyes, remembered I didn’t set like a timer or anything, opened my eyes, set a timer on my phone for 10 minutes, closed my eyes, and just tried to notice stuff in the room and in myself. Mostly I noticed that ten is a larger number of minutes than I had previously realized. But also, it felt kind of nice. After the timer went off and I silenced Still D.R.E., I noticed that the volume on the background noise in my head had been turned down. Way way way down. Interesting.

So, the next day, I sat down again, closed my eyes, and drifted into a state of eternal bliss. Just kidding, the second day I spent the whole ten minutes thinking about the way I had felt the day before and how I was going to make this a daily ritual so I could use my super zen powers of calmness and peace to change my entire life and only make good decisions and never procrastinate and build a super empire of some kind and maybe become like a superhero or a bond villain or something. The timer went off and snapped me out of my cognitive dizziness.

I can’t remember if I made it to day three that time. I couldn’t even tell you what year it was. I repeated an iteration of that cycle many times. Start and stop. Stop and go, but mostly stop. Eventually I downloaded the Headspace app on my phone and figured I’d give that a try. I liked it. There was a free 10-day basics course. I did the first day. Good stuff. Second day. Also good. Third day, good stuff but distracted self. I kept at it. I actually do remember where I was for day 6, on the rooftop of my apartment building, in the sun, low angled light, late summer, seagulls gathering by the ballpark, noisily waiting for the game to get out so they could gorge on dropped concessions. That was something like 7 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday, because for the first time I had really managed to be present and notice things instead of thinking things. I plugged into everything around me, and the volume upstairs got muted. It was a really amazing feeling.

The next day, I tried to recreate the experience. I was not successful. That’s how it was for me. Meditation was inconsistent, boring, sometimes amazing. I didn’t love it. Which meant that doing it consistently wasn’t natural. I had to force myself to do it. Which is why it took so many tries to actually make it to 30 days in a row. It actually took several tries to make it to 10 days in a row.

Eventually, I pestered a friend into doing it with me. Meditation buddies. Woohoo! One month, every day. I don’t remember if my friend made it the whole month, but I knew from the start that I would. I tricked myself by taking advantage of the fact that I know I would never let my team down. Let myself down? Easy. My team though? You’re thinking of someone else. I assume playing team sports mildly shapes children’s characters?

Anyway, I made it. I meditated every day for one month. I was so proud. I wasn’t ready to pay for the Headspace app because that’s not how I rolled. So, I just repeated the free 10-day Basics course three times. It wasn’t always something I looked forward to, and some sessions were better than others. Some were even enjoyable or left me with a sense of peace afterward.

As the end of the month approached, I knew I would have to make a decision about whether to keep going. The experiment was ending and, with it, my commitment to the team. I knew my track record. I was proud of myself for making it to 30 days, but this was something I had a history of repeatedly quitting because I never loved really it. I still didn’t love it after 30 days. I decided to go 60 days. After 60 days, I noticed that 100 days is only 40 more days than 60, so it seemed silly not to at least aim for triple digits.

The Headspace app keeps track of your meditation streak. If you meditate every day, your streak tally increases right after each meditation session. They even had fun badges that you could earn for hitting milestones like 30 days, 90 days, 180 days, and 365 days.

After hitting 100 days, I decided to finish the year.

Looking back, that’s a pretty striking detail that I didn’t appreciate at the time. It had taken me several attempts to do this every day for 10 days, and it wasn’t long ago that I didn’t believe I could actually hit 30 days and, in fact, failed several times to do so. Now that I had hit 100 days in a row, the idea of doing another 265 felt as simple as making the decision. After I had decided, it was just a matter of letting the days pass by. That’s not to say it was easy. I didn’t adopt (and still haven’t) a scheduled time of day that I meditate at. That means I set alarms on my phone to remind me to meditate. Early on, the number of daily alarms could be substantial. 9am, noon, 5pm, 8pm, 10pm, 11pm 11:30pm, 11:45, 11:50, 11:57!!! Sometimes I would just put it off out of naked procrastination. Other times, my days were hectic and I was distracted. Weeks would go by where my daily meditations would all be 1 to 3 minutes, just before midnight. Other times, I woke up early and had a nice long session as the sun rose, and that turned into a wonderful day. Meditation is inconsistent.

Still, I kept the streak alive. The habit got stronger. I hit 365 days and decided to go for 500. I hit 500 and it was obvious that the meditation was having an impact on me. I didn’t get flustered like I used to. I was calmer and felt more peace. I hit a thousand days and felt proud; but it didn’t feel nearly as big a deal as when I hit that first 30 days.

Those early wins felt more momentous because they felt like they came against the odds. I had let myself down so many times by not taking a serious approach, and not making and keeping those commitments to myself. I had stopped believing in myself. I think this is an easy cycle for humans to fall into. Which makes me wonder… what if it could be an easy cycle to break out of too?

Easy is the wrong word. It’s not actually easy. Simple is more accurate.

How do you build up your belief and confidence in yourself? That’s the most important thing I learned by meditating every day in a row for 2,000 days. You have to keep your word to yourself or your faith and self confidence can start to erode. Conversely, if you want to build your confidence and self efficacy, you must do what you commit yourself to doing.

No one else even has to know about your commitments to yourself. They are for you, and they are one of the most important aspects of your relationship with yourself.

I meditated every single day for 2,000 days, for a total of 20,000 minutes. I changed from someone who didn’t know if he could meditate every day for 1 month into someone who easily meditated every day for over 65 months. That’s the crazy part. Once I hit 1,000 days, there was no question in my mind that I would hit 2,000 days. It was easy because I already knew I could do it.

I don’t know if meditation has made me a better person, but I know keeping your commitments to yourself is what truly changes you. Everything else is secondary.

Do something challenging every day for a month and see what happens. I promise you won’t regret it.

The post The most important thing I learned by meditating every day for 2,000 days. appeared first on Monthly Experiments Project.

Years ago, when I first heard about 23andMe DNA testing, I knew I had to try it. I got my kit in the mail, spit into a little plastic vial and sent it off to be analyzed. A few days later, I got an email saying my results were ready.

I was so excited, like I was living in the future. I logged in and learned all sorts of interesting things about my ancestry and health risks, physical and personality traits. Some of it I already knew, some was a surprise. (Like, I’m supposedly descended from a 4th century Irish king, and some of my ancestors moved to Europe from Africa much more recently than anyone in my family had known.)

Fast forward many years and there are now services you can upload your raw DNA data to that will spit out even more in-depth analysis. Researchers around the world are doing studies every day, drawing correlations between specific genes and genotypes and all sorts of personality traits, medical conditions, health issues and even whether you’re likely to prefer sweet or savory flavors.

I’ve learned so many incredible things that have helped me understand myself better. Maybe the strangest thing I’ve learned is that I have a couple of common genetic mutations that effect my body’s methylation cycle. I still don’t really know what that means, but there’s a lot of research into these mutations that suggests I’m likely to benefit from taking certain supplements. So, now I take a few supplements every day, and I no longer have headaches, my mood and energy levels are more stable, and I sleep better. Pretty cool.

Wait, I thought this was about hypnosis?

Right. Yes, you probably saw that the title of this post is Hypnosis. I’m getting to that…

I was looking something up in my DNA results today and saw this sentence that jumped out at me:

“You are more difficult to hypnotize.”

Wait, what? More difficult to hypnotize?

I wasn’t looking up anything related to hypnosis. I wanted to see how a certain medication might effect me. But there it was. I’m more difficult to hypnotize.  I’ve never thought much about hypnosis. I’ve seen stage hypnotists a few times, and one of my old friends became a hypnotherapist, plus, The Mentalist is a really awesome TV show… but that’s the extent of my exposure.

The idea that some people may be easier or more difficult to hypnotize based on their DNA kind of blows my mind. So, I started reading more about hypnosis.

What is hypnosis?

Honestly, it’s a little bit overwhelming to read about, and there seems to be some disagreement about how it works. If anyone out there in the Monthly Experiments community has experience with hypnosis, leave a comment or shoot me an email. I’d love to chat.

I like the sound of this definition pulled from Wikipedia:

Hypnosis is a state of human consciousness involving focused attention and reduced peripheral awareness and an enhanced capacity to respond to suggestion.

Focused attention? Enhanced capacity to respond to suggestion? Sounds pretty cool to me.

A lot of the experiments I do are about a focused attention on some aspect of daily life, with the goal of some kind of personal change. The idea that I can use an altered state of consciousness to enhance my ability to transform is really interesting.

I strongly believe that the best way to learn about anything is to just jump in and doing it. So, I’m going to be experimenting with hypnosis for the next month.

Of course, according to my DNA, I’m more difficult to hypnotize. So, maybe this experiment will turn out to be a bust. We’ll see.

How to experiment with hypnosis?

I’m open to ideas on this. I’d like to find a local hypnotherapist at some point during this experiment, but I’m also interested in the power of self-hypnosis.

There are many apps out there that claim to use hypnosis to help with sleep, weight loss, quitting smoking, or reducing stress and anxiety. Most of these apps seem to be built around recorded audio tracks. I’m going to try to find one that focuses on goal achievement more generally. If you have one you like, mention it in the comments.

Experiment Rules:

I’m going to listen to a guided hypnosis app once a day.

At some point during the month, I may seek out a local hypnotherapist and set up a session.

I’ll keep a log of my thoughts and feelings before and after each session, and record any more general changes I notice as the month goes on.

This one is pretty simple.

Experiment Goals:

The main goal of this experiment is simply to learn about hypnosis and see if it’s really possible for me to experience this altered state of consciousness and learn how it might be a useful tool in some area of my life.

That’s it for now. If you have experience with hypnosis, or know of a related resource I should check out, please share it in the comments section.

The post May 2018: Hypnosis Experiment appeared first on Monthly Experiments Project.

There was a time when I wrote and published posts here every week, but the last time I wrote to you was more than 6 months ago. I don’t really know how, but I still get people coming to this site every day, reading about personal experiments or how to change habits. Not as many as before, but it’s nice to know so many people out there are interested in their own growth and change.

Some of the people I’m closest to are going through pretty big life changes right now. Quitting jobs, starting businesses, ending or beginning relationships, moving. It makes me happy, being around change. The energy is sort of infectious, and I can’t help but get a little swept up in the momentum.

Sometimes I find it hard to keep up my own momentum over long periods of time. I’m prone to taking on too much at once, and end up working in fits and starts. Maybe I have ADD. I don’t know. This project is a good example. It’s never been my main gig. I run a business, technically two businesses, that I spend most of my time working on and in.

I still love this community and this project. I’ve still been doing experiments, but I’m long-overdue for an update. So, here’s what I’ve been up to lately.

Business

I’ve always hesitated to write about my other ventures here. I don’t remember exactly why, but it felt like too much business talk would distract from the things you experimenters are working on in your own lives.

Most of you who I’ve talked to over the years, at least those of you who are doing your own personal experiments, are trying to make lifestyle shifts. Waking up earlier, eating better, exercising more consistently, showing up more in relationships, creating more art… that sort of thing. But I know a lot of you are also working on businesses, starting your own blogs or websites, growing your own communities, offering your services for money.

For entrepreneurs, the distinction between business and lifestyle is pretty moot. I started this project five years ago because I was a workaholic and I wanted to stop working late.

I don’t know why I ever thought it would be wrong to write about business here.

So, that’s one thing I’m going to start doing differently. I’m going to start writing more about entrepreneurship.

Some of the most popular posts I’ve ever shared have been about business:

1. I know several people who have read and followed The Two Most Important Rules for Entrepreneurs to build successful companies.
2. Back in 2013, I challenged you to build a new lifestyle business. I took that challenge and ended up creating a business I still run today.
3. We hosted a Secret Project Challenge back in 2014 that resulted in several of you creating new businesses. Some of my favorite stories are from experimenters who surprised their family members with news of their new venture.
4. In 2015, we launched the Personal Experiment Challenge and many of you created new businesses alongside your peers who were changing personal habits.

The point is, I’m going to start sharing more business and entrepreneurship posts here. It’s always felt a little strange to keep those worlds apart, so I’m going to combine them and see what happens.

Adventure

If you’re one of the few people who follow me on Instagram, you’d know that travel and adventure are really important to me.

And apart from a few mountain climbing stories, this is another part of my life that I’ve largely kept off of this blog. Like with business topics, I’m not totally sure why. So, that’s going to change too.

A lot of the challenges and experiments I take on are related to travel or fitness in some way. I spent a month in China earlier this year, which was really wonderful. Last year, I spent a month in South America. I try to work when I travel, but I’m not as good at it as I could be. So, that’s something I’ll be working on and sharing more about.

Mental Health

Someone once said that being an entrepreneur is 100% about managing your own psychology. I think that’s true.

We’ve done some mental health related experiments before. We hosted a big mindfulness challenge a few years ago and had people all over the world committing to meditate every day. That was a lot of fun. I’d like to do more experiments like that.

This project is essentially about change and growth. We have some simple beliefs. When you treat your personal growth as an experiment or a challenge, you’re more likely to be successful. Change becomes fun instead of hard.

But of course, any kind of growth or change can also bring discomfort. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t know that, and if you didn’t have goals that stretch you to do more than you have before.

Many of the changes you will try to make may bring on fear, anxiety, stress, depression, frustration, disappointment. I’ve struggled with all of those things. A lot. So, we’re going to talk about them more. I’ll share my struggles with depression and fear and that little strategies and experiments I’ve used to push through them.

Creativity

There’s a magic in creating something new in the world that didn’t exist before. Art, businesses, communities. All of them started from nothing. A lot of them started as experiments. So, we’re going to talk more about creativity here too.

The last time I shared something here, I was writing about disappointment. Since then, I’ve been disappointed in not sharing more regularly with you.

I’ve been busy making things and taking on my own experiments and challenges. I’ll share more about them in the coming days.

Thanks for reading. I hope you’ll stick around.

The post Some Long-Overdue Updates appeared first on Monthly Experiments Project.

I’ve wanted to write about how to deal with disappointment for a while. Today, I have a good reason to actually do it.

We just had a very disappointing election in the United States. *Even if your candidate won, you have to admit that the campaign and process was full of disappointments. There are a lot of adjectives to describe how you may be feeling, and how I’m feeling. I’m not going to list them. You know how you feel.

So, now what?

Most importantly, remember that progress rarely happens in a straight line, and anyone who is constantly striving for progress will inevitably face disappointment. That goes for you experimenters who are always pushing yourself to be better, too.

You will have setbacks. You will face disappointment. The harder you push toward your potential, the more likely you are to run into disappointments along the way. It’s part of the process. And what you do about disappointment will determine your fate.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” – Frederick Douglass, August 3, 1857

(Side note, if you’ve never read the speech this quote is taken from, you absolutely should. It is especially stirring and timely right now.)

OK, ready? This is how to deal with disappointment, in 12 simple rules.

1. Accept the situation.

There have been whole books written on acceptance. It’s not easy. Disappointment is cousin to disbelief. I am particularly bad at accepting things that disappoint me. Acceptance is hard because it requires being radically honest with yourself, and it hurts when you don’t get what you hope for.  Still, you can’t improve any situation until you accept it.

2. Do Not Be Cynical!

This is probably the most important one to me. I’m ashamed to say it, but I used to be cynical all the time. There can be something satisfying about cynicism. Some kind of embedded assumption of superiority and contempt that can make it feel like your disappointment is actually just a reflection of the failures of other people. But of course, cynicism is really just a manifestation of pessimism and selfishness; and it’s an unproductive trap you should avoid at all costs.

One of the strangest things that changed my life was watching Conan O’Brian’s last episode of The Tonight Show. Everyone watching knew that it was his lifelong dream to host that show, and he had to feel incredible disappointment about being forced to give it up after such a short run at it. But instead of being bitter, he gave one of the classiest and most inspiring speeches I’ve ever seen. I literally remember watching it and immediately knowing I would never be the same again.

It’s been 6 years since that aired, and I still think about it all the time. That’s it. Simple. Don’t be cynical, and don’t surround yourself in an echo chamber of cynicism, no matter how comforting it may feel in the moment.

3. Focus on what you can control.

This post is turning into a list of lessons I’ve had to learn the hard way. This one was harder than most, but learning how to do it can make you much more powerful and effective in everything you do.

There are only two things in the entire world that you can control: your thoughts and your actions.

That’s it. Two things. You can’t control other people. You can’t control elections. You can’t even control your own feelings! Your feelings are a result of your thoughts and actions.

The more you focus on making your own thoughts and actions positive, the better off you will be. Everything else is about acceptance and coping. There is always an action or thought that you can improve when you are disappointed. Your job is to find it, focus on it, and make it happen.

4. Look for lessons.

I guess that’s what this post is for me: looking for lessons in disappointment.

Yours may be different. Examine your situation. Ask yourself how it happened, and how you could have effected it differently. Answer those questions and write the answers down. Your job is to learn from them.

5. Look for new opportunities.

OK, this one is more fun because it’s all about focusing on the future, and you can make a sort of game out of it if you want.

There are opportunities in every setback. It can be a kind of creative challenge to find and create those opportunities, but do it anyway. Then write them down. See how many you can come up with. I call it the Optimist Game.

Former Navy Seal Commander Jocko Willink just calls it “GOOD.”

6. Make a new plan.

Remember those lessons and opportunities you wrote down? That’s the start of your new plan.

Go back to the drawing board. Start with a blank page, and reimagine what you want. Focus on your goals. Focus on the things in your control. Focus on the things you want. Write them down. Turn it into a plan of action. This is a huge opportunity.

7. Commit to working harder.

Sometimes disappointment happens because of things outside of your control, and sometimes it happens because we didn’t do everything we could. The best way to have no regrets is to commit to working harder and fighting for what you care about.

“Never stop believing that fighting for what’s right is worth it!” – Hillary Clinton, in her concession speech.

8. TAKE ACTION!

Did you notice that every single rule on this list starts with an action verb? Accept, Do, Focus, Learn, Look, Make, Commit, Take, Try, Use, Be.

Dealing with disappointment effectively is all about taking action. I’ve talked a lot about this before. If there’s something you want to achieve, break it down into some kind of daily action, and then do it every single day as an experiment. See what happens. When the first month is over, refine and repeat.

This post is an example. I was disappointed about the election, so I focused on what I could do to deal with that disappointment. I focused on how I could be helpful, and I sat down to write this post. Boom. I can tell you it’s definitely made me feel better to take this action.

Another example is an experiment I did earlier this year when I was struggling with some mild depression. I made a rule for one month: Every time I had a negative emotion, I would write it down in a notebook and then immediately do 10 pushups. I know that sounds like a really weird and random experiment, but it was incredibly helpful for me. At the end of the month, I had a clearer understanding of the power of positive action to overcome negative feelings. I also got a fair bit stronger at doing pushups. Win, win.

9. Try something new.

For a while, this rule was in the banner of this website. Try something new. I believe trying new things is important for everyone who wants to keep growing and learning as a person. It’s also important when facing disappointment because there’s a good chance some kind of old thinking led to your disappointment. Embrace the mindset of a scientist. Treat your situation like an experiment and try something new.

10. Use disappointment as motivation to do better.

Disappointment can be an extremely powerful feeling. You can feel hopeless and afraid and frustrated. You can also use those feelings as motivation to do better and work harder.

You have the power to turn anything into motivation and action. Including disappointment. Goodnight twitter.

— John Muldoon (@JohnMuldoon) November 9, 2016

I injured my shoulder pretty badly about three years ago. I wasn’t able to keep doing my normal workouts or physical training afterward. I had to go back to the basics and start over with physical therapy and rehab. That was disappointing, and so was seeing a photo of myself and how my body had changed after the injury. I know that may sound shallow, but it was still disappointing.

I decided to use that disappointment as motivation to work harder and do better. So, I took that photo and posted it at the top of a fitness log that I used to keep track of my workouts. Every single day, I still look at that workout log, and that photo, and I make a note of the physical training I do to get stronger. It’s been a while since I started doing that, and I’m now very happy with the progress I’ve made on the path to recovery. There were times when that photo was the thing that motivated me to do my workouts when I didn’t feel like it.

11. Be courageous.

I wrote a post earlier today about the definition of courage. It’s natural to feel fear associated with disappointment. Fear for the future, or even of the present. It’s important to remember that the definition of courage is to go TOWARD your challenges and fears, not to go away. The more you can focus on taking those challenging actions and pushing through your fears and resistance, the more successful you will be.

12. Never give up.

This just goes without saying, but never give up. If you care about something enough to feel disappointed about it, you can never give up on that thing. Ever.

13. Bonus: Baby animals are pretty great.

OK, last rule, this one is kind of a bonus.

It’s ok to feel sad and shocked and frustrated and disappointed. Don’t try to block out or escape your feelings. Notice them. Watch them. Be compassionate to yourself. Focus on the rules above. Read this post. Hug someone. If you must escape negative feelings, don’t engage in harmful or self-sabotaging behavior. Do something positive instead. There are no wrong feelings, only wrong actions.

Finally, we live in a world with ZooBorns. That’s literally a website that gets updated every day with pictures of baby animals. Go there. You will be ok. Take the time it takes. And never give up.

The post 12 Rules For Dealing With Disappointment appeared first on Monthly Experiments Project.

I occasionally write about climbing mountains. Not only is it one of my favorite things to do, but climbing makes a nice metaphor for a lot of the things we talk about here.

Goal setting. Hard work. Determination. Fear. Courage. Failure. Success. Fear, again. Disappointment. Hope. Uncertainty. Patience. Commitment. Challenging yourself. Experimenting.

I once wrote that climbing was my greatest teacher. I still think that’s true.

One of the things climbing has taught me the most about is fear. Fear and courage. The difference between them. The fact that you can’t be courageous unless you are afraid.

I used to believe that climbing was about courage and glory and the triumph of reaching a summit against the odds.

I used to think fear was complicated. I thought courage was a personality trait.

That was before I became a climber. Now I know better.

Courage is not a personality trait. Courage is a choice. – Click to Tweet!

Climbing has taught me that the summit does not define us.

We are defined by the simple act of going toward our challenges.

That’s the definition of courage. And you don’t need a mountain for that.

The post The Definition of Courage appeared first on Monthly Experiments Project.

A few friends and I had a great adventure this weekend. We tried to climb a mountain.

We drove for too many hours, slept far too few, got lost and exhausted and more than a little beaten up for our efforts. We started before the sun came up, and finished long after it set.

Ultimately, none of us made it to the summit.

I was disappointed as the realization set in that we wouldn’t reach our goal. I don’t like failing, even though I know it’s a part of life and growth, and is a crucial step to learning anything.

I was bummed we didn’t make it to the top. But it helps to be in an incredibly beautiful place, because my disappointment turned to gratitude as I had some time to sit by this lake and reflect on my experience. Honestly, look at this place–it doesn’t even look real.

I always learn something about myself on a climb. These vertical playgrounds have been my school of self and life. This one reminded me how lucky we are to even play this game and spend time with friends and family, of the value of failure, and most of all how important it is to be the man in the arena…

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

It’s been a long time since I published something here. There are a lot of reasons for that, though none of them is particularly interesting or good. Truthfully, I’ve missed it. I’ve missed this community. I’ve missed talking to all of you and hearing about your experiments and goals, and I miss sharing mine with you too.

I’ve been out of the arena lately. I recently had a conversation with someone close to me who called me out about sabotaging myself by not taking enough risks. It stung to hear that, but only because it’s true.

I was holding back, and suffering because of it. So, I’m committing to getting back in the arena and not holding back.

Even publishing a blog post is a little kind of a risk. What if no one likes it? I don’t know. Is that a good reason not to do it? No.

What if we try to climb a mountain and fail? Turns out, it’s pretty great.

What if the question “what if?” didn’t feel like a risk, but felt like an opportunity instead? I’ve been thinking about that a lot.

There is only one way to answer the “what ifs” in your life. I once found that answer on the top of a mountain, and I’ve never regretted doing it.

So, here we go.

Special thanks to my brother Jeremy, to the incredibly energetic and fast-hiking Zach Cole, Karl the Fog, Christian, Gabe, and “Babycakes,” for being a part of this adventure. I had so much fun. And to Split Mountain, we’ll be back.

The post The Man In The Arena appeared first on Monthly Experiments Project.

Wow, it’s been a while since I published anything here. (This is becoming my default opening line for blog posts.)

I should probably do a 2015 recap post at some point. It was a big year for me with a lot of ups and downs, and lots of lessons learned (hopefully). Honestly, I can’t believe how fast the year seemed to fly by. I accomplished a few of my goals for the year, but slipped up on more.

Anyway, now the calendar says 2016, and I’m sure a lot of you will be thinking about your goals for the new year.

If you’re into making New Years Resolutions, you might want to check out the post I wrote back on January 1st, 2013 about how to make resolutions that stick.

I’m making a few resolutions this year. One of which is to actually stick to a writing and publishing schedule on this blog. I used to have a pretty solid writing habit, but I’ve been really inconsistent lately. It’s kind of funny because I talk so much about writing and habits, you’d think I would have actually figured that one out. My first experiment of the year is going to be to write every day (again). This will be Round 3 of that experiment.

I’m hoping to follow in the footsteps of one of the Monthly Experiments community members, Bradley Charbonneau, who has written and published something for more than a thousand days in a row.

I’ve got a few other key habits I want to rebuild, but of course I’m going to be taking them one at a time. I’ll announce some more of my goals for the year soon, and also catch up a bit with writing about the experiments I did last year.

Monthly Experiments Podcast

In the meantime, if you want to hear the origin story of how and why I started doing Monthly Experiments, I was interviewed for a really cool podcast a few months back. It was a fun experience, and I shared some things that I haven’t talked much about here on the blog before.

If you want to give it a listen, check out my episode of Challenge Your Thinking with Dr. Linda Tucker.

Ok, I’m going to wrap up there for now.

A few questions…

Are you making any New Years Resolutions? Are you taking on a personal experiment for January?

Let me know in the comments, and/or hop over to the Monthly Experiments Facebook community and say hi there.

Happy New Year!

The post January 2016 Update appeared first on Monthly Experiments Project.

A few days ago, I announced the August 2015 Personal Experiment Challenge.

My pitch was pretty simple:

If there’s something you want to change, something that hasn’t been working in your life, or something you’ve always wanted to try, now is the perfect time to try something new for a month. If you want to create a new habit that will help you reach your longterm goals, this is a great excuse to make it happen.

And, for this month, I’m going to be coaching and supporting anyone who decides to participate.

When I published that post and sent out an email announcing the challenge, I didn’t really know what kind of response to expect. In the past, I’ve announce an experiment that I was doing and invited you all to join me. That’s been a lot of fun, and you guys have done amazing things in past experiments.

I set up a private Facebook group for anyone who wanted to participate, and I figured maybe a dozen or so people would join me in there and we’d talk about our experiments and offer support throughout the month.

Well, then, things escalated quickly. 

The announcement post made the rounds on the social web (thanks for sharing it), and I started to hear from people on Twitter and Facebook and Reddit. We even had the two highest traffic days ever here on the blog.

By the end of the day, instead of a dozen people wanting to participate, we ended up with more than a hundred. 

I think that’s pretty cool, and I’m super excited about all the amazing experiments you guys are taking on. But since I wasn’t better prepared for such a big response, I screwed up a few of the mechanics along the way, and this post is about fixing those glitches.

Join Us On Facebook

I’ve heard from a lot of you that you haven’t been able to join the Facebook group. That’s totally my fault because I’ve never managed a Facebook group before and I didn’t know what I was doing. You used to need an invitation to join, but now you can click this link and simply ask to join.

There are some really amazing things happening in there, and I encourage you to jump in and join us if you want to be a part of this challenge and give and receive support and accountability from a very nice community of people.

Or Reddit

I have no idea if anyone here is on Reddit, but if you are, we’ve created our own Monthly Experiments subreddit where you can keep track of your experiments and support other people doing the same.

Shout out to /r/DecidingToBeBetter for the support and the suggestion.

This Is Evolving

I’ve written before about how this project is all about embracing your own evolution and taking little steps toward big goals. If you have ideas about how to make this project better, don’t be shy.

If you want to join us in the Facebook group, come on in and say hello.

And if you want to tell your friends about the personal challenge you’ve taken on, you can click this link to tweet it out.

Thanks, and stay tuned for more updates!

The post Well, That Escalated Quickly appeared first on Monthly Experiments Project.

Who wants to take on a 1-month personal challenge?

Hopefully, you do. Because that’s what this month’s experiment is all about!

In case you’re new here, every month I take on a personal experiment and write about my results. I usually pick an experiment I want to do at the beginning of the month, and write a post about it, and invite you to join me.

But this month, instead of focusing on my own experiment, I’m going to be helping other people (like you!) with their own experiments.

So, basically, this month, I’m leaving the experiment idea up to you.

If there’s something you want to change, something that hasn’t been working in your life, or something you’ve always wanted to try, now is the perfect time to try something new for a month. If you want to create a new habit that will help you reach your longterm goals, this is a great excuse to make it happen.

And, for this month, I’m going to be coaching and supporting anyone who decides to participate.

How This Will Work

Right now, we’ve got a small private Facebook group of experimenters who are participating in this challenge, and you should definitely join us (more on how to do that in a minute).

There are people people doing experiments related to writing, fitness, business, waking up early, and even yoga. You can do any experiment you want. I want this to be as simple as possible.

Here are the rules:

1. Choose an experiment.
2. Do it for a month.
3. Let me know how it goes.

Pretty simple, right?

If you like the idea of doing a 1-month experiment, but you aren’t sure what to do, here’s a quick list of ideas based on my own favorite experiments.

You could:

• Start waking up early. (This is one of the most powerful experiments we’ve done.)
• Write something every day.
• Create a mindfulness practice.
• Work on a secret project.
• Take the No Excuses Challenge
• Spend a month sticking to a fitness program.
• Start a new blog.
• Practice a musical instrument.
• Meditate for 5 minutes every day. Or two minutes.
• Stop eating sugar.
• Talk to a stranger every day. Or high-five a stranger, if you’re feeling bold.
• Spend 10 minutes a day decluttering your home or office.
• Or you could finally do that one thing you’ve been wanting to do for a long time.

Really, it doesn’t matter what you choose to do, as long as you stick with it for a month.

Taking on an experiment or personal challenge is a great way to push yourself, cultivate more discipline, and have some fun.

Of course, if you have a more serious motivation for taking on a personal experiment, that’s great. Experiments are a great way to change habits and grow into your better self.

How To Join Us

I mentioned that there’s a private Facebook group for this experiment. I created it because I wanted a place for this community to interact and get support and advice and accountability. It’s very small right now, but so far it’s going well. People are encouraging each other and sharing their progress. It’s really inspiring, and I’d like to figure out a way to grow that community aspect more in the future.

If you want to join the private Facebook group, let me know in the comments here and I’ll send you an invitation. Or you can add me on Facebook and I’ll add you to the group.

Of course, you don’t have to participate in the Facebook group. You can also just send me an email, or leave a comment below to make your commitment.

Or you can tell your friends by tweeting your commitment to this challenge. Click here to tweet. (Thanks for the support if you do decide to share this publicly!)

Sound good? Let’s do this!

The post August 2015: Personal Experiment Challenge appeared first on Monthly Experiments Project.

I’ve been excited about sharing this post for a long time. I didn’t write it though, except for this little introduction. It’s a guest post from my friend Bradley Charbonneau, and it’s been a long time coming.

I woke up this morning and thought about how I could explain the way it feels to publish this… because, it’s a pretty big deal. It’s basically a superhero story. Basically.

I thought about just telling you the story, trying to sum up the way it started, with three guys talking in a cafe in downtown San Francisco back in November of 2012.

Bradley runs a web development company and is a sort of business partner to me, but I always knew he had a secret past life as a writer. Sometimes he would talk about his writing days, about magazine articles and publishing his first book a decade earlier, about that other book, the “real” one in the drawer that just needed to be dusted off. He always lit up when he talked about writing, about how he’d like to do it more, get back into it and be a writer again. Most people stop there. They reminisce, talk about what they’d “like” to do differently, but nothing really changes.

Sitting in that cafe, Bradley said something really important. “A writer is someone who writes.”

I was really excited about doing monthly experiments to create new habits, so, I challenged him to write every day for a month to see what happened. He said he’d do one better, he’d write AND publish something every day for a month. We left the cafe and he got to work.

“So here we go, it’s November 1, 2012. I’m hoping, I’m even smiling to myself (no, really) that I’ll look back on this day with pride and say that was the day that it all began. Whew, exhilarating.” – Bradley Charbonneau, the unstoppable writing machine.

I honestly don’t know how to describe what happened next because it’s hard for me to believe it, but it’s one of the best things I’ve ever had the privilege of watching. Bradley wrote and published something every day for a month. I saw him start to change right away. He was excited and energetic. He’d say things like, “I’m feeling like a writer again” and “writing is bringing me closer to my kids” and “I’m falling back in love with writing.” He didn’t stop when the month was over.

He kept going.

He wrote and published something every day for 100 days, then 200, then 300, then a year, then 500 days. He wrote and published a book with his kids on the 10-year anniversary of publishing his first book. Then he did it again a year later. He became unstoppable. Today is his 1,000th post in a row. I asked him to publish it here.

And so, here it is…

NOTE: please see the questions at the bottom of this post. I’d love to get your feedback and questions about your own Write Every Day experience. 

What began as a 30-day writing experiment has transformed into a 1,000-day, life-altering way of life.

1,000 posts ago, on November 1, 2012, I took up John Muldoon’s Write Every Day Challenge. The challenge was to write every day for 30 days. I decided to take it a step further and publish each post that I wrote. I hit 30 days and was thrilled! I did it! But it was so exciting and felt so good that I kept going … and going … and going. It wasn’t magical, 1,000 days didn’t happen in a day. Every hundred was a huge milestone: 100, 200, 500, 800 … It actually took all of those days: one day at a time.

I just had a look at that first post I wrote on that very first day and these are the first few lines:

I suffer from the typical writer’s block. I see a blank screen and want to run. I think of editing some old work and cringe. I’ve been wanting to write on a regular basis for, oh, a decade. Not ten days, not ten months, but ten years. When oh when will that day come where I learn to write on a regular basis?

Today, June 24, 2015, I look back and I wonder who that person was. I don’t even know that person anymore. I even feel sorry for that guy as he’d been suffering for so long. Wanting to do something, wanting to be someone that he hadn’t been. Today, I see a blank screen and there is no fear. If there is hesitation, it’s only about which direction to start. The blank page is my friend. In fact, we’ve become good friends.

I’m going to make a statement here that I classify as 100% Cheesy, straight out of the self-help books, heard in the hallways of overpriced and overhyped power weekend seminars, but I’m going to say it anyway:

John Muldoon’s Write Every Day Challenge changed my life.

Gag! Ugh! Barf! Blah!

I get it. Go ahead and heave your lunch. I’ll wait. But there’s no other way I can describe it that doesn’t lessen the impact. It has transformed who I am. It’s the perfect example of how small change, bite-size change, one-day-at-a-time change can lead to Big Change. It didn’t happen after one day, I don’t know if it happened after 30 days. I don’t know when it happened. But that’s both the easy part and the hard part: it just happens because it becomes a habit, it becomes what you do, who you are. You no longer think, “Oh, I should do that thing, I’m supposed to being doing that experiment I signed up for.” You just do it because it’s now not only a part of who you are, it is who you are. You don’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow, just today.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. — Lao-tzu

I know, I know, I hear you, “Dude, just tell me that you made a million dollars and have movie deals lined up and how you did it so we can also do it.” I get it. Here you go. I’ll give you one word that I (re)found having now accomplished this marathon feat. It may be hard to grasp and not quite as tangible, but you’re going to have to believe me that this is better than a million dollars and a movie deal, it’s more powerful than a gazoollion Twitter followers and a hack-a-moollion Facebook likes. But here’s the catch: you won’t believe me if you don’t yet have it. If you do have it, you’ll know exactly what I mean. Here’s the more-than-million-dollar transformational word:

Confidence

You see, before November 1, 2012, I didn’t have much of that. Well, actually, I had plenty, but not in areas that I terribly cared about. Rereading those few opening sentences above makes me feel like I possibly didn’t have any. That’s not a fun place to be. In fact, it’s a scary, depressing and powerless place to be. It also just sucks.

One day at a time. Through sick days, bad WiFi, low batteries, a creative mind full of zero original ideas, I made it through. Kids who want to play basketball, clients who need PHP upgrades, wife who needs me to get out the door for dinner, my brain done for the day hours previous, even just minutes left before midnight. But I got it done. It just became what I got done on a daily basis. Brushing my teeth, writing my post. Simple.

Success?

As John has noted in many of his experiments, the original goal of the experiment might become less important as other elements come into play. Here are some “side effects” of my daily postings that I had not expected, not even dreamed of. But now that I understand how they came about, it makes my daily post all the easier.

Was it a success? That’s an easy one. My only goal was to get back into the writing habit. I can confidently say that I have that back. But the bonuses that came on top make even that lofty goal pale in comparison. Here are a few.

Cherries on Top

• Improved relationship with my family: huh? Through telling stories of adventures with the kids, I learned more about them, about our relationship. I learned some things that weren’t working so well and it was easier to work on them.
• Wrote two children’s books: related to the improved relationship with my family, my two young boys (9 and 11) wrote two books together (The Secret of Kite Hill and The Secret of Markree Castle). We’d talk about the story, put together a post, publish it, then read it aloud the next day and create the next chapters. They’re the creators and the stars. Book #3 is in the works.
• Future books: in 1,000 posts, there are also several other books just waiting to be cobbled together: parenting, WordPress, raising bi-lingual kids, Home Exchange 101, etc. It’s just a matter of collecting and promoting. That’s going to be fun.
• The only true accountability you need is yourself: you can take courses, follow gurus, and use the best tools and tricks. But there’s only one judge who really matters, only one you need to please.
• Writing improves memory: it’s a bit of the chicken and the egg here, but do I remember more because I wrote it down or did I write it down because I remembered it more? In any case, there are details of moments that would long vanished from the quicksand of my memory had I not recorded them for eternity.

I could list more. In fact, lots more, and I will, but I’m going to dwell on it.

What’s next?

What I’m both surprised and not surprised about is what’s next. You might think, “Whew, after that, I bet you’re ready for a break!” or maybe, “Man, take it easy for a while!” But I have something of the opposite. Somehow, I feel like this was just the warmup, this was little 5k Fun Run before the marathon. But I’m in such good shape that it all sounds easy. Writing more? Putting together books? Easy. Here’s the thing: I’ve built a machine. I’m a human conveyor belt. If you want something done, just put it on the belt and it will get done. Daily. Without question, without delay. The best part? I like doing it. I can’t not do it. I don’t want to not do it.

For your fitness fanatics out there, it’s similar: you might not feel like working out, but you’ll do it because you know how much better you’ll feel once you get started. Then the big bonus is how much better you’ll feel after you’ve finished. Your only guilt is with yourself and you’d rather just do it than feel the guilt.

But my more rational or logical plan is really to get my writing “out there” more. Out of just my hands and into others. It’s an entirely different world and that’s exciting and daunting. But hey, remember that I can do anything? I have no fear and if I just treat it as experiment, then I can’t fail.

Today is the new beginning. If November 1, 2012 was the birth, this is my 21st birthday when I become an adult. Now the real fun begins. It won’t be easy (did I ever say it was easy?), but it’s what I want to do, what I was meant to do, it’s who I am. I’m ready.

People have asked me to list some favorites from the 1,000. Here’s a list in no particular order.

• How I Secretly Get My Kids to Eat Greens: Please don’t let your kids read this. Or at least, if your kids might remotely know my kids (or any kids), don’t let yours tell mine. Thanks.
• The Best Gift for the Person Who Has Everything: Warning: they might not recognize the full potential of the gift for some time.
• An iPad for Oma (Grandma): how certain technology can change people–and your relationships with them.
• Pretend You’re Oprah: Pretend every post you write will be read by millions. Every product you endorse will become a huge hit. Every philosophy, diet plan, or dog bowl will be the New New Thing.
• Can We Strengthen Our Memories? “The pure, true, and unconditional love I felt towards my son at that moment was greater than an emotion I knew I had.”
• Stilo Campo: Do you ever want to move to a city … just for a restaurant?
• Dropbox filling up your hard drive? Selective Sync to the rescue. I was surprised at how extremely popular this post has become (traffic wise).
• This Is My Last Chip: a letter to my dad. I cry quite a bit when writing … just as a warning.
• No parking any time … except 12 to 2 on Wednesday: easily a contender for a photo book about ridiculous signs.
• Become a Different Person … For a Weekend: Would you like to change your personality? Forever? Or just for a weekend? This will be part of my upcoming book on Home Exchange.

Questions for You

If you have any questions or answers to these questions, please let us know in the comments below.

1. Fear: What are your fears about writing? About starting? If writing 1,000 posts sounds daunting (believe me, it is), what sounds less scary?
2. Encouragement: How could I help? I’ve been there and done that. What would you like to ask me now that I’m 1,000 posts further along? What questions do you have at Day 1? Or maybe Day 10? Or even Day 100?
3. Subject matter: I’m curious, if you started to Write Every Day, what would you write about?
4. Goals: What are some of your goals for your new writing habit? What do you hope to accomplish? Short term? Long term?
5. Dreams: Forget goals. What are your dreams? Forget reality and probabilities, what do you dream about?

I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

The post 1,000 Posts in 1,000 Days appeared first on Monthly Experiments Project.