MyTwintopia

Homeschool Resources for Coding, Art, Languages

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 20:52:00 +0000

This is Part 3 of my collection of homeschooling resources and focuses on supplementary skills and subject resources viz coding, art and second languages.

Coding

The world of teaching kids to code has come a long way from the BASIC computer language classes I attended in grade 6. Here are some of the online resources helping to grow the coders of the future.

Scratch
This Massachusetts Institute of Technology project has been an explosive success among parents and kids alike. It's especially designed for kids from ages 8-16 to get a foundational knowledge of coding. One bonus is that this website is so popular, it's easy to find complementary project idea books for the kids to use. I only wish it came in an app like the junior version. I just transitioned the girls to this website last week and they love it. Sugar has already built and published 3 games. Spice has struggled with understanding the site and would prefer to continue using the Jnr version but her sister is helping her out. I may buy them this book if they run out of project ideas.

Scratch Jnr
Coding for kids ages 5-7. This comes in an app and I can attest that my kids have enjoyed building animations and storyboards on this app since they were 5 years old. An accompanying tutorial book can also be purchased for this

Code Combat
A coding game designed to teach kids either python or javascript coding. I have no personal experience with this but saw some positive reviews from other parents.

Tynker
This is another coding website but unlike the ones listed above, it comes with a monthly subscription fee.

The wonderful people at Coding Wizards HQ have the most comprehensive list of free coding resources that I've seen. The ones I listed above are the ones we've tried or heard good things about.

Art

One of the more exciting things that has come out of this COVID-19 quarantines is a lot of artists sharing their craft for free. I'm really grateful for their generous hearts. Some free resources that have brought the girls much joy are:

Lunch Doodles with Mo Willems
Drawing lessons with Mo Willems, the acclaimed author of many kids' favorites including the very hilarious Don't let the Pigeon Drive the Bus as well as the Elephant and Piggie series. He's currently the Artist in Residence at home for the Kennedy Center and he's up to episode 15 on the doodles. The videos are fun and easy to follow.

Draw everyday with JJK
Video drawing lessons with Jarrett J Krosoczka whose website is also a treasure trove of drawing activities.

Dav Pilkey At Home
Art lessons from the author of Captain Underpants and the Dog Man Series. We are #teamdogman over here and usually buy the books within a week of launch. It's high on both girls' list of favorite books.

Draw with Disney
Drawing lessons direct from the Disney Animation Studios.

Note: There are more video resources being shared by artists on Instagram and Facebook but I haven't bothered with those because the girls are too young for social media accounts on those platforms.

Second Languages

English language lessons from the British Council

Duolingo: This is our go-to for the girls to learn french and spanish. Both girls have apps installed in their iPads and they're able to learn both languages concurrently.

Rosetta Stone: Free if your local public library has a subscription

BBC Languages: Free website resources for learning 40+ languages. This appears more geared to adults so may not hold the kids' attention for long.

Final Thoughts

Sometimes none of these resources will fit the bill and kids require more. For us, that "more" has been signing up for online lessons with a live instructor. I was introduced to the Outschool website (affiliate link) right after the pandemic started in 2020 and the girls have taken several courses on the website. To date, they've enjoyed all the courses they've taken including creative writing, Roblox programing, African American history, Debating and Etiquette. It's been a win for our family.

Homeschool Resources for English, Science, Math

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 03 Apr 2020 20:31:00 +0000

While the first part of this series focused on general resources, in this post I'll be listing subject-specific resources for elementary school primary subjects (English Language Arts, Science and Mathematics)

English Language Arts

Storyline Online
Features videos of celebrities reading children's books. Each book reading includes a recommended grade level and run time.

ReadTheory
A free K-12 reading comprehension resource. My kids were introduced to this in grade 4 and became instantly addicted.

Sources of free books

The free section of Amazon Kindle library
Your public library (usually has an Overdrive or Libby app for ebooks). The twins have enjoyed accessing their favorites like Babysitter's Club series.
Any Little Free Library near you (PSA: Wipe books, wash hands!)
Bonus: The Harry Potter At Home portal is for fans. Apart from fun activities, it also highlights the Harry Potter book that is available for free on (audio and ebook) on various platforms.

Science

National Geographic Kids

Here you'll find free videos, games and nature-themed information. If your kids is really entranced by this site, take things a step further and gift him/her an annual subscription to the National Geographic Kids Magazine (currently selling for $7 for 6 bimonthly copies) Spice is going through a giraffe-loving stage and spend HOURS on this website.

US Forest Service Kids Section

Canadian Online Atlas from Canadian Geographic
Explore Canada by themes like rivers, ecosystems, natural resources etc.

NASA for Students

Mathematics

Topmarks: Website for math games across the ages

Mathframe: Another website that teaches math through games

Splash Learn: Math apps for grades K-5. The school actually recommended this and the girls like it so far. If you don't want to download the apps, the website can be accessed directly.

Prodigy Math Game
I signed the girls up for this in January and I'm quite glad I did. There's a premium-paid access but for now we're using the free app. I like that the game's difficulty level adapts to the kids abilities and a breakdown of the different areas is displayed in the parent dashboard. With the report from the dashboard, I'm able to identify where the girls are struggling in their math studies.

Kumon Workbooks
I'm a big fan of workbooks and my favorites are the Kumon workbooks. For the grade 4 math curriculum, I have ordered the books on fractions, division and geometry to help the girls with the areas that haven't been covered in school and they're obviously struggling with.

Free Worksheets
Printable math worksheets for grades k to 12. Here's an example of the 27 page grade 4 worksheet.

Final Thoughts

Sometimes none of these resources will fit the bill and kids require more. For us, that "more" has been signing up for online lessons with a live instructor. I was introduced to the Outschool website (affiliate link) right after the pandemic started in 2020 and the girls have taken several courses on the website. To date, they've enjoyed all the courses they've taken including creative writing, Roblox programing, African American history, Debating and Etiquette. It's been a win for our family.

Resources for Homeschooling

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 17:47:00 +0000

As I alluded to in my previous post, this era of social distancing has led to me (and most parents in the world) to try our hand on serious homeschooling. In the past, I have accessed several resources to teach the girls but this was a supplement to the primary learning they were receiving from their schools and teachers.

With all the unknowns of the initial lockdown, I had to revise my role to that of primary educator. In that role, I struggled with finding decent, reputable resources for teaching older elementary kids (grade 4). Sure a quick Google search will yield some results but I found some of the resources to be too commercial, flaky or poorly designed for my use. Some were also good. In keeping with the objective of this blog to "Learn and Share", I'm going to highlight all the homeschooling resources that I think are worth accessing.

This post quickly grew to be a loooooooooooooooooog list so I'm going to break it down into sections which I'll keep updated as I find new goodies.

Learning Styles.

Before attempting to educate your kids formally, it's worth it to have a decent idea of how they learn best.

Article on Understanding the 7 types of learning
Another article on the 7 learning styles
Learning styles quiz

Teaching Styles.

Let's be honest here, not all personalities and/or family dynamics are well-suited for home education. Sometimes kids need a teacher outside of the home. One resource that I have appreciated having access to is the Outschool website (affiliate link). With this website I've been able to access instructor-led classes for my girls on a variety of topics including creative writing, Roblox programing, African American history, Debating and Etiquette. This is definitely a tried and recommended resource

Complete Curriculum Resources

This is a list of resources that cover the full elementary school curriculum of mathematics, science and social studies.

CK-12
Type: Website
Contains: K-12 resources sorted by grade level and subject
Subjects covered: Maths, Science, Social Studies

Khan Academy
What started as a little family project has become one of the most extensive collections of FREE educational resources in the world.
Type: Website with lessons in video format
Contains: K-12 resources sorted by grade level and subject
Subjects covered: Maths

All in One Homeschool
Type: Website with some online worksheets as well as printables
Contains: K-12 resources sorted by grade level and subject
Subjects covered: Maths, Science, Reading, Art, Music, Bible

Lower Elementary Resources

These are resources that are specially geared towards kindergarten to grade 3s and focus on the acquisition of basic reading, writing and arithmetic skills.

Starfall Education

Platform: Web-based

Cost: Paid

Grades: Pre-K to Grade 3

Format: Online games

ABC Mouse
Their ads are everywhere! And it's a $9.95 monthly subscription

Leapfrog Videos
I used these successfully with my girls so I can vouch for them 100%. I'm currently using them again for Baby Boy and he does enjoy the movies. One sore point is 7 years ago, I could access some episodes via the Apple Store and Netflix. That's no longer the case. I've had to buy the DVDs off Amazon because I really couldn't find any option for streaming.

ABCYa
A K-6 resource for learning through games

ICT Games
Free maths and english educational games

Seasame Street

General Learning

These resources can't be fitted into any rigid subject box as they span several subjects and can best be described as general learning resources for elementary learners

Scholastic Learn at Home
The content of this section of Scholastic's popular platform was developed in response to the educational needs that families faced during the COVID 19 crisis.

Ted Education
The TedEd channel on Youtube contains a variety of educational videos. You'll need to do a bit of digging and filtering to find gems like this one.

Finding Childcare in Calgary

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 11 Feb 2020 21:03:00 +0000

REUPPING AN OLD POST

I've been navigating the childcare terrain in Calgary since moving here in 2011 and we're not done yet. With 8+ years of this hustle in the bag, I thought I'd put a few guidelines together.

Childcare Choices in Calgary

The first step is to determine the childcare choice that is most attractive to your family. The options that are available include dayhomes, daycare centers and nannies or au pairs. Each option comes with it’s advantages, disadvantages and costs.

Childcare Costs in Calgary

Dayhomes: In this situation, the provider is offering childcare in their own home. The province regulates the number of children that can be taken in at any one time. This is usually the cheapest childcare option available in Calgary and costs run from $150 to $500 per child per week depending on the provider's qualifications, location etc. There are also a handful of Dayhome Agencies that take care of licensing and regulating a number of independently-owned dayhomes.

Daycare Centers: These are centers that provide various childcare services. They are more expensive than dayhomes and their prices are typically fixed based on the age of the child with infants being most expensive. Most centers charge upwards of $1000 a month with some charging up to $2900 monthly for infants. Centers located downtown are the most expensive.

Nannies: Nannies are usually the most expensive option as they have to be paid the provincial minimum wage which is currently $15 per hour in 2019. If the nanny resides in your home the government allows a small deduction for rent and the minimum wage is currently ~$2800 monthly. If there are more than 3 kids requiring childcare, hiring a nanny could be an attractive cost proposition.

Subsidies: The government does provide subsidies for families that meet certain criteria. See the link at the end of this post for more details on qualifying for this subsidy. Note that not all dayhome providers will accept subsidized families or issue tax receipts.

Choosing Location

Next step will be to determine the location where you’d like your childcare to be. A nanny can live in your home or come in daily. If you work downtown, you may want to consider one of the daycares in downtown Calgary. If you live in a large suburb, you may find more dayhomes within close proximity of your home. If you’re a student, you may want to find out if your school has a daycare that prioritizes kids of students and staff members.

Licensing

Not all childcare providers are licensed by the government. View the government website for a list of approved and licensed providers. Unlicensed care is often cheaper, but peace of mind is the price to pay.

Finding Childcare

Use the search engines to find daycare centers in your particular area of interest

Use the government lookup tool to find licensed and approved care

Use kijiji.com to find advertised dayhomes and nanny care

Use a nanny or au pair agency to get a nanny placement

Infant Care

Infant care is very hard to find in Calgary. This is most likely attributable to the "Employment Insurance" that makes it possible for most families to take up to 50 weeks of paid maternity/parental leave. A lot of the centers that I called had long waiting lists to fill spaces for infants under 19 months. This is further complicated by the fact that there's only a handful of centers that will accept children under 19 months. My advice? Start your search early. Call the center and be prepared to visit even if you're told on the phone that there are no openings. You'll find that sometimes if you can speak to the center's manager, they may be able to move things around to accommodate your kid or refer you to another center that has a spot. I found that when it came to finding infant childcare in Calgary, facetime counts for a lot.

Don't live in Calgary? Most major cities have childcare services similar to what I've listed above. Have fun!

Raising a Girl Child - Reading List

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 22:47:00 +0000

I just noticed that I have a folder of bookmarks on my browser that's labeled "Girl Child". It's a collection of articles hosted on fairly reputable websites that share tips on raising girls in today's world.

In no particular order, here's my collection of resources on raising girls

30 Critical Tips for Mothers Raising Daughters from the Family Education website
Raising Awesome Girls from the Girls Scout website
Raising a Powerful Girl from PBS Kids for parents.
Raising Daughters from Psychology Today
International Day of the Girl Child - a collection of resources from the United Nations

Just sharing these links made me go back and check some of these resources are. They're really good and worth reading and re-reading ever so often.

Making "Home" Intentional

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 15 Jan 2020 15:34:00 +0000

I always like to spend the months of December and January taking stock of several aspects of life, reviewing what worked in the past year and setting my directions for the next year. I don't consciously have a "word" for the year but I do have a theme that reflects the life goals.

If last year's theme was "SIMPLE", then 2020's theme is "HOME". In so many different definitions for the word Home.

HOME

noun
a house or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family or household
verb
to proceed or direct attention towards an objective
adjective
operating or occuring in an area that is a base of operations or headquarters
adverb
to a vital sensitive core

This year my focus is on home; making my house a home physically and emotionally, becoming more at home with my body, embracing Calgary, Alberta as home. Those are the big picture words but drilling down to simple actions, this year's goals look somewhat like this:

House: Buy a house that will be home for the next 20 years. Make it a home by ensuring it meets the physical comfort of every member of the family. Inject it with love and laughter by taking care of the health of every resident. Let our love overflow to welcoming guests and neighbors who are of like spirit. P.S: 2020 is the year of filter the list of people you allow into your home and life. Keep the shit people out. Honestly!
Vacations and family time: Closer to home. More road trips to see different parts of the province. More staycations to appreciate our city. Take part in events around the city
Body: This here body is 43 years old. It needs to become a home that I enjoy being in and is strong enough to do all the things I want (and need) to do at this stage of life. I've been slowly easing myself into a plant-based, whole foods diet. I spent more time in the gym last December than the rest of my 43 years combined. Yes, I need to physically become stronger. Do my best to find some relief (diet, supplements, lifestyle change) to the insomnia that has plagued me for the last 4 years.

There's a bunch of little resolutions that feed into this big vision. My guideline for every decision will be "Does it bring me closer to home?" DASSIT!

Simple Living With Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 09 Jan 2020 04:35:00 +0000

I didn't blog for almost all of 2019 but I was still out there, still doing my thing. Consciously or unconsciously, my life theme for 2019 was "Simple". I chose the simple life over and over again. I had so many balls in the air, I knew that the best thing for my mental and emotional well-being was to simplify as many things as I could.

So what did I simplify in 2019? Here's a concise summary of what worked for me and how I used the concept of "SIMPLE" to influence almost every facet of my life

Holidays and Vacations

After a 2018 trip to Orlando that was fun for the kids and stressful for me, I resolved that I would not board any airplane with the kids in 2019. Instead our summer vacation was a 5 day trip to Canmore/Banff, a one hour drive from Calgary. Simple and we all still enjoyed ourselves. For springbreak, it was a staycation for the girls and I. We made the time more special by trying out a couple of new restaurants for lunch. We did travel for Christmas though.

Home Organization

Kids Clothes: Instead of buying clothes ahead and out of season as I've done previously, I started buying clothes only when needed. This eliminated having create space to store a lot of the unworn, bigger sized clothes and shoes.

Groceries and Meals: Like I mentioned in this post, I chose the more convenient ways of doing things with online grocery shopping, buying some pre-made meal items and simplified meal planning.

School Lunches: I finally figured out a short list of school lunches that we rotate through and I can prep on Sunday for the whole week. The list is

hot dogs
burgers
sandwiches
white rice and sauce (dinner leftovers)
pasta (dinner leftovers)

Out of School Activities

Normally I book the girls' for random classes on the weekends - swimming, skating, art etc. However when the winter of 2019 rolled in, I decided I wanted to keep our weekends activity free. No jumping out of bed on Saturdays to scarf down some breakfast and head out for a class. NO. NOPE. NON. Didn't do any of that and it was awesome. I will definitely be implementing that again this winter. Weekends will be pure rest days.

Everything I've listed above worked so well for me in 2019 that I will be continuing them into 2020 with the exception of the travel.

5 Types of Goals Worth Setting in 2020

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 02 Jan 2020 00:12:00 +0000

Happy New Year Everyone!

It's that time of the year where resolutions, goals and theme words ooze out of every media platform. As a compulsive list-maker and goal-setter, I have no complaints about this trend. I'm an ardent believer in the setting of goals, not just every New Year but as a tool to be used every time my life needs to be redirected.

On to the actual content of this post, here are 5 types of goals (with examples) that I will be setting this year to define the life I want to live in 2020 and beyond.

Relationship Goals

Concrete actions to build new relationships
Concrete actions to sustain and nurture old relationships e.g weekend getaways with loved ones, reach out more via text, phone call or emails
Goals to strengthen connection with kids, spouse, siblings etc

Family Life Goals

Food goals centered around having a healthier diet that addresses any health issues we're trying to address
Goals regarding family habits like TV time, vacations, parenting etc
Home maintenance goals like I need to pay for a cleaner twice a month!!!

Financial Goals

These can be either saving or spending goals e.g

Save down payment for a new home, renovation or random appliance
Keep track of budget and spending
Reduce eating out budget to $xxx per month
Stick to a budget
Career and personal development objectives

Recreational Goals

Goals centered around the things I do/wish to do for relaxation and fun

Read xx number of books
Get a massage once a month
Run a number of 5K races
Workout for 20 minutes 3 times a week
BLOG MORE!
SHOP LESS!

Spiritual Goals

My spirit and relationship with God needs to be nurtured just as much as the earthly/physical relationships. Some goals I've set in the past to address that are:

Commit to daily devotional time
Read some or all of the bible within a certain timefrace
Dedicate time to volunteer work
Commit of a spiritual retreat, conference, group fast or something new that I've never tried before as a Christian

Now for full disclosure, the above is not a listing of all my goals and resolutions for 2020. That would be way too much and I'd probably fall off the wagon by March.

In practice, I like to chose the 1-4 goals that are most important to me and document them somewhere and then work very hard to meet said goals. Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose. Regardless of outcome, I'm just happy that I tried.

Hope we all have a blessed and fulfilling 2020.

8 Conveniences Worth Paying For As A Working Mother

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Dec 2019 12:00:00 +0000

As a fairly frugal person and avid consumer of personal finance publications, I've always agreed with the mantra "why pay for something you can do yourself". Its a good policy to live by and a lot of financially savvy people will tell you that mantra is a direct contributor to their success. In recent years however, I have formulated a new mantra for myself: pay for convenience if it buys you a better life.

I really needed to adopt this new mantra as a working mom of 3. There aren't enough hours in the day for me to be superwoman so I just have to outsource some tasks and pay for some conveniences. Of course, this is also a function of disposable income and what you can afford. For me personally, here are 8 things that I pay for instead of doing myself with the ultimate goal of improving quality of life for me and my family.

Breakfast meals: I buy muffins, sausage rolls, waffles and cereal for our weekday breakfasts. Cost is roughly $30 a week. Reward is eliminating 2 hours of cooking/baking on the weekends that are better spent resting or hanging out with the kids

Rotisserie chicken: Ugh! This is just such a great convenience. Bonus points to the grocery store if its organic. I try to buy one chicken every week/ other week and it serves a variety of purposes. In soup for dinner, part of kids lunch, part of my lunch salad, served with random carb for dinner plus bones for stock. It's $8 at Costco and $12 at our fancy organic grocery store. Money well spent. (Alternative to this is a meal preparation/delivery service like Blue Apron that takes care of dinner a couple of days each week OR the weekly dinner specials most grocery stores seem to offer)

Grocery Pre-Ordering or Delivery: In 2019, I decided to start ordering some of my groceries using the supermarket app and picking up curbside instead of going into the store and browsing the aisles. I cannot sing enough praises about this convenience. I've saved so much time and money for using this service. The service costs $5 per order when I use the PC Express app but every month I've done this consistently, I've seen a distinct reduction in the amount I spend on groceries because I'm only ordering what we need, when we need them.

Handyman: Around here, we're 2 working parents who are handy-skills deficient. Having a handyman's number has been critical to the upkeep of our home. In the last couple of years, the handyman has replaced 6 broken tiles, fixed broken hinges and replaced closet doors. All tasks that we could have learnt to do from watching a few YouTube videos but our results would have been mediocre at best while consuming precious time and emotional expenditure.

Car washing or detailing: I pay for detailing twice a year at the beginning and end of the winter season. With all the mud and salt dragged into the car, plus the random kids' food stuff that manages to hide in the nooks and crannies of the car, I need this and I don't have the hours, skill or desire to detail my car myself.

Housecleaning: Self explanatory. 4 hours of my weekend versus $125 monthly.

Audio Subscription for commuting: I've been getting too bored with radio and too impatient to wait for free library audiobooks to listen to during my commute. BUT I do want something mind-impacting to listen to for those 20 minutes everyday. My solution? Pay for a subscription that I can access from my phone. Currently it's a Spotify Premium account for me but I'm looking into either Sirius XM or Audible for next year.

Spa/Salon care: Be that a manicure, pedicure, massage or facial. Why? For that moment of pampering and self care.

This list isn't applicable to everyone but it sure works for me.

Holidays after Grief or Loss

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 13 Dec 2019 21:21:00 +0000

2019 has been an interesting year. It feels like life has been transitional for me this last couple of years with some many major life events hitting me back-to-back.

Loss of parent
Job insecurity
Birth of baby
Job Change
Twins school change
Baby involuntary daycare change (the old one shut down)
Chronic insomnia
and a bunch of random sh*t in between all that

Phew! My head should be spinning with all this action but it's not. Not right now. Right now I feel like I'm finally at the end of this nausea-inducing season and stepping into a fresh and joy-filled life in 2020. Can I get an AMEN?!

I'm excited to be doing the things I love again like blogging and celebrating Christmas. I'm so glad to be back to enjoying them but as a different person - calmer, simpler, more "zen". Yes, I want to start blogging regularly again because hell, I like writing about my kids, parenting, stuff I bought and everything I'm learning in this thing called life.

And Christmas? I used to be a teenager who started playing Christmas carols in July. The last few years though, I've outwardly celebrated Christmas and inwardly been missing the joy. Not this year though. This year, there's no outward celebration of Christmas in casa MyTwintopia. No decorations are up. No lights on the balcony; even the Christmas tree isn't up yet (and at this rate, it just may stay in the basement till next year Christmas). I've not purchased a single Christmas present (if you're reading this, sorry fam!).

On the inside however, I'm happier about this Christmas than I've been in a long time. I'm looking forward to spending time with family. I haven't bought my kids any presents but I think they're going to have fun.

Life is beautiful because it's SIMPLE. That's the word that encapsulates the world I've transitioned into. Simple days, simple nights, complicated choices that lead to a simpler life. Feels good y'all.

Is anybody out there? Merry Christmas to you and may all your blessed dreams come true this New Year.

10 Money Lessons for Grade Schoolers

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 May 2017 03:29:00 +0000

I remember when I started getting an allowance. I was a 9 years old and my parents discovered a stash of money (birthday and random cash gifts from relations) that I had hidden in my drawer. After a brief chat about where I got the money from and what my plans were, my father implemented a monthly allowance system that stayed in place until I graduated college. My allowance was thin and had to cover my food, transportation, college class supplies and casual clothes. I learnt quickly how to prioritize financially, make sacrifices, do without and be content. That discipline has shaped how I make financial choices even as an adult. It wasn't always fun, but in hindsight it was a lesson worth learning.

Over the last one year, I've been more conscious of introducing my 6 year old twins to simple financial concepts. Start them off young on a financial path where they understand smart money choices. In no particular order, here are 10 things I've started doing to sow the seeds for financial smarts for their future.

Once they're able to recognize numbers, teach them how to read and recognize currency denominations e.g the difference between a $1 and $2 coin; even though a dime is smaller than a nickel, it has more value because 10 is bigger than 5.
Give them a piggy bank, wallet or handbag to store their money and respect their ownership of those items. My girls have piggybanks and handbags where they keep and regularly count their money. I don't pry into what they have and don't touch without first asking permission.
Take them shopping and teach them how to read the price labels of the items on display. Emphasize the numbers before and after the dot and what it means
Teach them to recognize sale signs; my kids know how to read % off
Take them grocery shopping. If they want to grab the flyers in the grocery store, let them leaf through it and identify the items that we need to buy for home use
If they're asking for something that's too expensive or unaffordable, I tell them no and explain why so they understand that not everything we want can be bought at whim
Teach them to stick to budget. Sometimes when they're gifted money, I let them take it to the store to chose what they want to buy. With knowledge of #3 and simple addition they're able to tell what they can afford with their $10 note and what they cannot. Another perk of this is that they learn to collaborate and make deals. Sometimes my twins will agree to combine their cash to get something they both want if their individual allowance is not enough
Start sowing the seeds of minimalism. "Mom can I have this?" "No because we already have something similar at home". This passes the message across, shop your belongings before you spend more money
Teach them how to make choices and the concept of opportunity cost. For example, in our cable TV bundle, their 2 favorite stations are on 2 different packages but we're only paying for one package. I explain this to them and let them deliberate and decide which channel package they'd prefer.
Teach them giving by having them take the money out of their piggybank/handbag whenever they want to give to a charity, church or a busker. It enforces the concept that being compassionate and giving to the less fortunate will always require a personal sacrifice

Of course, I'm aware that there's a delicate balance between teaching kids to be responsible with money and scaring them that we're a few dollars away from penury. So far, with these 10 tricks, I think we've stayed on the right side of "financial smarts" as a family.

Leaning in Relaxed Parenting

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 02 May 2017 02:37:00 +0000

It a little after midnight and I've just finished feeding my son a bottle of milk. As I alternately rubbed and bumped his back waiting for him to burp, I studied the his face indulgently - the contours of his cheek, his pouty lips, the way he creases his eyebrows whenever a thump startles him from his almost-asleep state. It was past midnight and I was tired and I should and want to be asleep but here I sit instead, leisurely falling in love with my son.

I was surprised when I realized that this emotion felt new to me. Didn't I go through this with the twins? Do I love my son more than my daughters?

Actually no!

It's instead the answer to the question people always ask me "Is it easier taking care of one baby versus two at the same time?" My answer is no, it's not easier. Surviving on 4 hours of sleep in a night feels the same on my body regardless of how many babies I'm taking care of. Regarding taking care of one baby versus two, both are physically draining especially in this initial newborn stage.

What IS different for me though is that the frenzied, rigidly-disciplined mode I operated in with the girls is missing now. I was so scared of being overwhelmed with tiredness while taking care of the twins that all my actions with them in the newborn stage were geared towards being super-efficient almost to the point of being mechanical. I didn't have time to stop and smell their little black curls of hair or tickle their tummies during night feedings because I needed to feed the other baby and catch as much sleep NOW before the next feeding. With my singleton baby (and also being an experienced mom AND knowing that this is my last biological baby), I'm definitely on the slower path of parenting. You could say that I'm stopping to smell the baby roses on this path. That's one of the things I savour about having one baby to care for instead of two.

Here's to enjoying the rest of the week.

Talking to 6 Year Olds About Sex

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 02:36:00 +0000

The twins are 6 years old and that apparently is the age where all sorts of pointed questions about sex get asked. Add a newborn baby into the mix and the questions roll out even faster and "furiouser". And of course, mommy is the answerer of all such questions. I confess that I've been negligent in preparing myself to answer those questions. Should have read a few books on talking to kids about sex but life was too short and I was too busy.

Regardless of my tardiness in reading up on the subject, I've handled the conversations with a combination of correction, diversion and education. The conversations go somehow like this:

Correction
Objective: To fix the misinformation usually got from their peers
Spice: So mommy, are you going to feed the baby with you boobies?
Me: What are boobies?
Spice: Those round things on your chest
Me: Who told you they're called boobies? Tip: Always find out who else has been having conversations about sex or body parts with your kids
Spice: Ryan in my class. He said they are called boo-boos when they're small and boobies when they're big
Me: They're called breasts and yes, I'm going to be feeding the baby with the milk that comes out

Diversion
Objective: To postpone the conversation until the kids (or you) are better equipped to handle it
After a candid conversation of how babies get in mommies' tummies
Sugar: How do the babies come out of the mom's tummy?
Me: The doctor takes them out
Sugar: Does the doctor cut the mommy's tummy?
Me: Yes, sometimes the doctor does that.
Sugar: Sometimes? So how else do the babies come out of the mom's tummy?
Me: *Thinking* oh shit! oh Shit! oh SHIT! I'm not ready for this! I should have read the book!
Sugar: *In a louder voice* I said, how do the babies come out of their mom's tummy?
Me: Would you like popcorn chicken or drumstick?
Sugar: I don't really want chicken...*launches into a soliloquy of reasons why she hates chicken*

Education
Objective: Teach them how to name body parts without being bashful and give them tools to be able to accurately talk about their bodies and things they've witnessed
Spice: My baby brother has that thingie in his front bumbum?
Me: Yes, it's called a penis. Boys have penises and girls have vaginas
Spice: Yeah, I once saw ... penis in daycare when he was peeing
Me: OK.

Obviously, I've handled some of the conversations better than others. To be honest, I thought some of the questions would come much later in life... when the girls were closer to 10. I was mistaken.

Have you walked this path yet? Any tips for this mama?

Blogging With Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 19 Apr 2017 11:54:00 +0000

Blogging with kids!

It's sorta like walking while chewing gum; spit is produced in copious amounts and regardless of that, you have to keep moving forward.

I'm not sure that the analogy above even makes sense but one thing I'm sure of is that sooner or later everyone that's blogging while parenting asks themselves the pertinent question: should I do this? should I blog about my kids? The "Yes" and "No" sides of this equation have been weighed by me over the last 6+ years and both sides are worth hearing.

No, do not blog about your kids because

It invades their privacy especially when they are too young to consent to the information being shared. Imagine little Johnny's future employer or colleagues googling his name and learning all about his potty quirks
It exploits them especially in cases where their photos are used to promote the parents' "brand" in sponsored posts or for some other monetary gain.
It compromises their safety where suddenly random strangers know their names, what they look like, their favorite cereal, where they live etc. Thanks to Hollywood, we all have a fairly healthy dose of paranoia and imagine what all the villians in the movies could do with this information

Yes, blog about your kids because

It's a living childhood journal. I have printed photobooks for each year of the twins' life and they are at the age where they enjoy flipping through the books and remembering when they were babies. A blog can serve the same purpose; as an online journal that kids can one day review with nostalgia.
It captures the parents' voice. Why would capturing your voice as a parent be important? Let me share my personal experience as a daughter. My mother died when I was 5 years old so I really have no emotional database of her voice, tone or personal idiosyncrasies to humanize my memories of her. For the longest time, she was just a saintly figure crowned in a corner of my heart. That is until I found her diary and read her thoughts as a mother written by her own hand in her own voice. Reading the diary of my mother marked a major turning point in my life's journey as a motherless daughter - I went from assuming my mother loved me to knowing definitively that she did because of how she wrote about me in my diary. If you grew up with a mother, this concept may be hard for you to wrap your mind around but trust me, it was a big deal for me. Authoring a blog is a way of capturing some of your essence for your kids in case they'll need it for their emotional memory bank.

So, blogging with kids, yay or nay? From the length of the individual points above, it's fairly easy to see which one matters to me the most. For the first 4 years of authoring this blog, it's purpose was to serve as a guide for other twin moms. Today, it's purpose has shifted a little. I still want to share my learnings as a parent, but I also want to "capture" my voice for my kids.

Today, I say "Yay" and that's what it'll be until the "Nay" becomes stronger.

Parenting Through Grief

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 04:33:00 +0000

It feels like it's been a lifetime ago since my last post but it's only been 6 months. 6 months of soooo much going on that I find my last post to be quite poignant. The picture in that post is my dad with Spice. It's one of my favorites ever.

My dad passed away in August. It's been a few months now but my feelings are still so raw that words are inadequate; no words can fully convey the mind-blowing pain of losing a loved one. Especially someone as incredible as my dad. He put so much effort into being the best parent that he could. My mind was blank for the first couple of months but now I see reminders of him everywhere. The twins just turned 5 and for the first time, there were no birthday cards from Grandpa. Outside of the card from mommy and daddy, the card from grandpa was the only other sure one for their birthday. I could have a verbal projectile vomit right now and just keep writing about my dad (it's therapeutic too) but I'll stop here for now and move on to other updates.

In other news, the girls started kindergarten and the transition was quite challenging for us a family. 3 months in, most of the drama is over and they're now fully settled in. Also on the family front, I have the opportunity to take a year off work. Even though the time off is partly due to the downturn in my industry, I heartily welcome the chance to realize my dream of being home with the girls for their kindergarten year. It's all working out for good.

In other not so relevant news, I deleted my Facebook account, dyed my hair red, started blogging again and have the number of a tattoo parlor programmed onto my phone. Is midlife crisis calling? Am I home? Is anybody still reading? Drop me a line in the comments pretty please. It's been a crazy season and it's good to be back. Blogging/writing is my cheaper form of therapy.

Parenting while Aging

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 01 May 2015 21:33:00 +0000

Ms Spice helping grandpa with his button

I've just returned from a very short 6 day trip to Nigeria. I went alone. As in without the girls. As in I left my babies for 7 whole days!!! I think it was harder on me than on them but it had to be done as I really wanted to see my dad who's health has been quite poor lately.

The 46 hours of travel time plus the situation got me thinking about parenting beyond the first 20 years. My default parenting setting seems to have stopped at getting my college-graduates to move out of the house. The end! I've never really thought about my dreams as a parent when my kids are in their 30s and 40s and I'm knocking the door on 70.

Now I've had a couple of weeks to think about it and to resolve on some lifestyle changes for parenting beyond the first 20 years.

As much as it's within my control, I'd like to be in good shape physically so I can enjoy my kids and grandkids(?) and vice-versa. That means I have to take the issue of eating healthy more seriously. It's time to look at the health risks I already have and adapt my diet and lifestyle to ensure that those risks do not become full-blown problems. Specifically, since I know that I have PCOS, I'm slowly easing myself into a low-carb diet that I can stick with longterm

Ditto exercise and keeping fit. Pretending to be oblivious to the fact that I cannot climb a flight of stairs without being out of breath has to be a thing of the past. I need to get some cardio into this body ASAP

I need to spend more time nurturing my hobbies/interests/social network outside of work and the kids. I don't want to be that bored and listless retiree when the kids have all flown the coop.

I need to have a good grip and balance on my finances so that my kids don't face any financial pressure on my behalf

I've heard the term "sandwich generation" thrown about in the past but never paid too much attention to it until now. Now I realize that not only do I fit into that group, so do all of my friends. When you're smack-dab in the middle of aging parents and young kids, self care is usually the last thing on your mind but it is the most critical favor you can do for yourself. In due time, I expect that I will be the top slice of another sandwich generation and the steps that I take now; will determine how much easier I make things for my babies.

Have you given much thought to your 30 year parenting plan yet?

Pick Your Own Farms Around Calgary

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:06:00 +0000

Spring is finally here in Western Canada and pretty soon, the trees will be brimming with fresh berries. History shows that I left my green thumb in Neverland so I've graciously given up the dream of having a garden or at least a potted plant where my kids can pick fruits and vegetables. Not gonna happen in this era. My face-saving and still-fun alternative is to take them to a U-pick farm somewhere around Calgary.

If there's something Calgary is not lacking, it's a plethora of farms nearby offering everything from CSAs, to Upicks to hosting birthday parties. Here is a listing of the farms that are within decent driving distance of Calgary and offer Upick.

Things to do before heading out to the farm

Visit their website and check for hours of operation, available dining options etc
Call ahead and make an appointment (if required). Also confirm payment methods accepted and minimum age of kids. It's a good idea to check if they also have already picked fruits for sale. Why? Well there's always the possiblity your toddler wants NOTHING to do with plants and it'd be a shame to go home empty-handed. I say this because for the longest time, Sugar absolutely refused to walk on grass
Ask about road conditions all the way to the farm. Parts of rural Alberta can be scary to navigate alone in a small car. Verify road conditions and presence of wildlife
Ask about the use of pesticides if that's something you care about especially as a lot of berries are on the EWG's dirty dozen list
Check the weather and dress appropriately - sunglasses and hats are usually not optional.
Pack for the trip: lunch, water, bug repellant, storage bags for your produce, first aid kit, anti-itch cream, benadryl etc. Overload I know but still...
Get directions and print along with a map. Some of those farms have addresses that won't show up on a GPS and cell coverage may be sketchy. Best to be sure of where you're going before you head out.

First farm opens in June - that's 90 sleeps from now - and this year, I hope to be introduce my girls to the concept of food growing on trees.

8 Interesting Things for the Family Photobook

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:36:00 +0000

It's that time of the year again where I start putting together the family photobook. I started the family photo book tradition after the twins were born and it's always a joy to go through the books and revisit the memories.

But, (and this is a little but) I find some of the earlier photobooks I put together a little boring. E.g, with the first photobook, I didn't even know that I could caption the photos or crop them. I've come a long way since then and THIS photobook is going to be the best yet because now I have actual ideas of things to include in the book to make it less boring.

Our lives have in no way been boring in 2014 and our photobook should reflect this. In no particular order, here are some fun things that this year's family photobook will include:

Photos of the kids with their favorite toys or books

Quotable quotes (including birthday interviews)
Anecdotes of funny things that happened
Memorable crafts and artwork. Either scanned of picture of the girls with the art

Journal entries and/or blog posts or letters by the parents maybe even handwritten and scanned
Pictures with school friends, teachers and visiting family members - the people who make up the circle of love but sometimes get left out of photobooks
Map and road signs from our vacation(s)
Photos from our everyday life - things along the way as we commute, the house, the front door, their bedroom etc (I won't use this pic, I just have it on file for future guilt-tripping purposes)

And of course ALL the photos from our photoshoot with a professional (in the past I used to choose just a few and I have absolutely no logical explanation for why.)

And of course words! Plenty of words.

I've been truly inspired by ideas I founds online especially on this post and now all I have to do is decide on which photobook provider to use.

Adult vs Kid Electronics

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 22:00:00 +0000

October is here!

It's that time of the year where I start waxing philosophically about how time flies, my girls have grown and yes, what to buy them for their upcoming November birthdays.

Do you remember last year's birthday list? (The post is right here). I ended up buying the girls cameras and tablets after all and this year, I've had a revelation.

I'll pause this blog post to say "Johanna, you were right!"

When I first wrote the post, she gently commented that I should consider buying the girls "real" cameras instead of the V-Tech cameras as the cost different wasn't much and the benefits were plentiful. I looked into it and because the the cheapest cameras I could find on Amazon cost almost $80 and the VTech Kidizoom cameras cost around $40 (in Canada), I decided to go ahead and buy the V-Techs.

Cue one year later. The girls only get to use their camera's when we travel but still, I've spent over $40 on AA batteries. Compare that with my digital point-and-shoot camera that comes with a rechargeable, long-life lithium battery and hasn't cost me an additional dime since the day I bought it 4 years ago.

It's safe to say I saved some cents and spent dollars on this one.

Same story goes for the Innotab tablets made specifically for kids. They eat AA batteries for breakfast!

So if you ask me today about buying electronics for your kids, I would say check the battery/power requirements, do the maths and it just might make more "cents" to buy the lowest tier adult version of the electronics.

Switching Twins from Crib to Bed

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 25 Sep 2014 17:10:00 +0000

After a bit of waffling and postponement, we finally accepted the fact that the girls are too big for their convertible cribs and moved on to big girl beds. The beds arrived shortly after our vacation and the girls have been sleeping in them with no issues or complaints.

Here are some considerations that went into picking the big girl beds for the twins:

The Beds:
I chose to go with a twin bunks that could be detached into 2 twin beds. This option gives us the most flexibility in terms of room size and arrangement. Detachable bunks is a pretty common concept and I saw several options of those types of bunks available in our local furniture store as well as the websites of Walmart, Wayfair and Costco at anywhere from $400 to $1200. I ended up buying the girls' bunk from the Costco website as it was a style and color that I liked.

Note: We put the beds together not as 2 identical twin beds but as the top and bottom parts of a bunk for 2 reasons. One, if we do decide to change to a bunk configuration, there's no need to swap the headboards and footboards. Just mount and tighten. Second reason is this way we can use the bedrails that came in the package for our more gymnastics-prone sleeper.

Twin Mom Tip: Measure the bedroom and play around with several bed configurations before buying beds online. A room that looks sizeable with two cribs shrinks considerably with 2 twin beds.

The Beddings:
After driving myself crazy looking for the perfect quilt and sheet combo to go with the dreary green walls and carpets in the girls' room, I stumbled across the perfect idea of using white (bleachable) bedding for kids. Super! Easy to keep clean and easy to coordinate with any color. Finding 100% cotton bedding for twin mattresses that won't break the bank wasn't so easy however. I eventually bought 2 sets of bedsheets each from Winners and Target Canada. The girls still sleep on satin pillowcases to prevent hair breakage

The quilts have reversible sides and were also from Winners. I prefer quilts to duvets because I can throw the whole thing in the washing machine

Twin Mom Tip: The best deals and biggest selection of twin-sized beddings are available in stores around August/September when kids are getting ready to start college and furnish dorm rooms.

The Mattress:
Before kids, buying a mattress for me involved going to the store and picking the "one I liked" that cost the least. Now however, before buying mattresses for my kids, I turned to Mr Google; the in-house expert. I was immediately bombarded with TMI (too much information) and scared out of my mind. I eventually settled for buying an organic latex mattress from a local mattress store. This and this are just two of the articles that prompted my decision.

Twin Mom Tip: Unless you have other plans, the kids (and the occasional overnight guest) are going to spend almost everyday of the next 14 years on this mattress. Buy the best-rated mattress you can afford!

Twin Mom Tip: Also, if you buy bunk beds, look for mattresses that do not require boxsprings and are between 6-8 inches deep (or as specified by the bunk manufacturer)

She's supposed to be the less athletic sleeper!

Move girls to big girl beds. CHECK!
Next up? Slowly decorating their room and turning it into a bonafide big girl room.

What to do with kids' artwork

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 14:00:00 +0000

School's in and the artwork is rolling in. To be honest, the girls create more art than I know what to do with and I have a strong anti-clutter gene. To deal with their artwork, I sort every piece that comes into the house into 3 categories:

Keep: This is the art that I want to keep for years. There has to be something very special about it. I organize this art similar to how I organize the girls' paperwork. Each girl has a 4 inch binder with 50 plastic sheet protectors in it. By my calculations, that's 2-4 special art pieces per school year. So far they each have 3 pieces in there including a foot-print art (so they can look back and see how tiny their feet used to be) and first drawing of the whole family.

First family portrait showing daddy, mommy, the twins and some random kids I don't know!
Display: This is the nice art that gets to be displayed for a while before it's "retired". It includes mother's day gifts displayed on the TV stand and the art I display on the kitchen wall. I remove them when I have another nice piece to replace them with. The kitchen wall display is space limited to maximum 4 pieces per kid. The girls love seeing their art displayed in this form. I must confess that all the Mothers' Day crafts I get from the girls fall into this category and none have been taken down yet because I'm emotionally attached to those and I may end up having a mommy memory box for these when they become too many to display!

The current kitchen wall display

My Mother's day flowers
Retire: This is the art work that gets retired into the recycling box that's euphemism for trashed! A lot of pieces go into immediate retirement.

What's your approach to kids' artwork. Do you attach a sentimental value to them and keep everything or do you keep some and lose some?

Family Hotel Sleeping Arrangements

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 26 Aug 2014 14:00:00 +0000

When it comes to vacations, hotel accommodation is always a big ticket item if not staying with family. When you have 2 or more kids to consider, things become extra tricky.

My objective has always been to find a comfortable sleeping arrangement for our family of 4 without breaking the bank. I've tried a few options in the past and during our recent vacation, I experimented with a few additional sleeping arrangements.

Here's a list of the pros and cons for each arrangement based on my experience of 2 adults and twins.

Bed Sharing. We've tried this a couple of times with mixed results
Best for: Non-mobile infants or kids who are used to sleeping in big beds without tumbling all over the place
Pro: Even the standard hotel room with 2 full beds can work for this. Much more comfortable in rooms with king-sized beds though
Con: Talk about passion-killer!

Peapods or similar travel beds. Did this while relocating and on a couple of vacations
Best for: Crawling to toddler stage. (8 months to 2 years). We stopped using these when the girls were able to flip themselves upside-down while in the peapod for the sheer fun of it.
Pro: Very small footprint so if floor space is tight, this works very well. Plus the pods are mobile and can be setup anywhere meaning any location - beach, porch, living room - can become a nap area
Con: The flipping upside down mentioned earlier means kids outgrow this fast

Pack and plays. Did this while relocating and on our San Antonio vacation
Best for: all ages up to the height and weight limit of the pack and play
Pro: Most hotels will provide these if you call ahead so it's one less item to pack
Con: Older, vocal kids will not appreciate this. I haven't tried this with my kids once they were over 2 years old. Hotel room needs to be very big, preferably a suite with 2 separate living areas. Depending on hotel, the pack and play you actually get may look a little dingy. I suggest traveling with your own sheets

Sleeping Bags on the floor. Tried this for the first time last week
Best for: Older kids who are used to sleeping in big beds without tumbling all over the place. When we used these, I spent half the nights fishing the girls from random corners of the room to tuck them back into their sleeping bags. It was harrowing for me but they slept right through it
Pro: It easy to fit 2 sleeping bags on the floor of most hotel rooms
Con: Watch your step!

Sofa beds. Tried this for the first time last week
Best for: Older kids who are used to sleeping in big beds without tumbling all over the place. The sofa arm rests act as mini-bed rails for the peaceful sleepers. Acrobatic sleepers will probably need their positions adjusted several times during the nights
Pro: No additional equipment required from your end
Con: Not all hotels have rooms with sofa beds available. When available, they're usually part of a more expensive room package

A PSA on ebates and online shopping rebates

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 12 Aug 2014 17:28:00 +0000

So I was chatting with my sister a couple of weeks back about some online purchases she made and I commented that "You must have saved quite a bit with your ebates account". To which she replied "What's ebates?"

And this Public Service Announcement post was born.

What is ebates?: Ebates is a website that gives you cashback for shopping certain websites online.

How does it work?: You open an account (there's a USA ebates and a Canadian ebates and I have accounts in both). Once your account is opened, you click the website you want to shop on from the ebates website and once your transaction is complete, your cashback is posted into your account. The cashback amount is paid out every quarter through various forms. In the past, I've had a check mailed to my home, got an Amazon.com credit and got my Paypal account credited.

My favorite option is to have my Paypal account credited as that's how I pay for the girls' netflix subscription. I love online shopping so this really works for me. To date, I've got over $200 back for buying the same things I would buy anyway.

In the past, I used ebates to get cashback from

buying clothes online at Gap, BananaRepublic, LeChateau and Hudson's Bay,
buying a vacuum cleaner from shop.ca and an air conditioner from Amazon
booking hotels for our vacations. For our upcoming road-trip, I'm getting 8% back on our hotel bookings

Bonus: They always have a double cashback promotion for current events so right now the double cashback category is full of stores that sell school supplies and vacation themed online retailers.

Look out for: Black Friday double cashback event. It's super! I've seen stores give up to 20% cash back.

How much did ebates pay me for this enthusiastic post?: Nada! I'm just another happy customer who wants to share BUT if you sign up using the links in this post, I get a Tell-A-Friend bonus paid into my account....you know, for the Netflix ;).

PS: There are a few other websites that do the rebate thing for shoppers in US and/or Canada but ebates is the only one I've tried. Certainly if the retailer you want to shop is not on ebates, you can check the other cashback people

Teaching Kids to Be Brave

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 28 Jul 2014 15:54:00 +0000

fear

fi(ə)r/

noun

1.

an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

I don't think I'm a fearful person but

I'm nervous about heights and close my eyes in glass elevators
I panic in 4 feet of water even though I'm 5 feet 6 because I can't swim
I hate cats because my dad hates cats
I don't say the word "snake" because my dad does not like snakes at all. Even typing the word creeps me out a little
To be honest, I'm nervous being around any animal period

Photo by Mark McGregor on Unsplash

Truth is some of my fears are natural to me and some of my fears are "inherited". Try as I might, I can't get myself to like cats (sorry cat-lovers reading this!) and I know that is not based on anything more rational than the fact that my dad is leery of cats. Not so my girls. They love cats and dogs and snakes and glass elevators and climbing really high on the jungle gym.

and when they ask to go look at the cats in the pet store, I oblige them

when they ask for a ride in the glass elevators, I unclench my stomach, relax my muscles, fix my eyes on a spot and ride with them

when they ask to go into a petting zoo, I take a deep breath, fake a smile and stand right there with them

Twin Parenting Lesson 6: Because I can't afford to let them assimilate my fears. I'm brave because they are so much braver.

What about you? What rational or irrational fears do you hide bravely?

Black Toddler Girls' Haircare

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 21 Jul 2014 20:47:00 +0000

This will be the third hair care post on mytwintopia. The first time was when the girls were under a year old and the next time was when they were 15 months old. Now, they're almost 4 years old and a lot of things have changed about our hair care routine. Here are the highlights of some of those changes and what I've learned along the way:

Set Goals: If there's one attribute that makes me standout, it's my hair. I'm always cutting, styling and dyeing it and sometimes that is not a good thing. So now I'm learning to set hair goals not just for myself but also for the girls. My goal for their hair is length and health - healthy shoulder-length before they go into kindergarten September 2015.

Why? Because lets be honest, hair is one of the image struggles black females have and kindergarten is just about the time when little girls of African descent start noticing the differences between their hair and Caucasian hair. I know at that age, all I wanted to do was "whip my hair" and my girls are beginning to have the same feelings and requesting for their hair to "shake". If I can take care of their hair so they have good length, then the pressure to get a perm is removed.

Collaborate: My babies have started having opinions about everything including their clothes, accessories and hair styles. Before I could slap a style on their head and call it good. Now it's a collaborative process with them telling me what they want and me finding the easiest way to get it done. Current request is "Mickey Mouse Hair". I did this and Sugar complained that it looked like a bunny and not Mickey Mouse. Will try again

Accessorize: For the first couple of years, I didn't use any bows, beads etc on the girls' hair to prevent breakage due to strain. Now we have a plethora of accessories which I keep in a craft box purchased from Michaels

The beads and clips collection

Personalize: The twins' hair texture is as different as their personalities and I choose hair products and styles based on their hair texture and their personality. For example:

Spice has a full head of hair with 4a texture in front and 4b texture at the back. Her scalp is also very sensitive and she can't sit for long styling periods. I use heavier products for her hair and stick to simple single braid styles because cornrows on her take forever. Her hair hates protein products

Sugar has fine, low density 4b hair that breaks easily. She can sit for longer complicated styles so I usually cornrow her hair to keep the weight off individual strands and also use lightweight products. Her hair loves and needs protein products

Style Regimen: Styling for 2 kids (plus myself) is a whole weekend thing but I break it into shorter length sessions to avoid mummy-burnout and kiddie-tantrums. So I can take out a style on Friday evenings, wash on Saturday and style on Sunday
I change the styles every 1-2 weeks depending on neatness.
Shampoos are every other week. I wish I could buy a shampoo bowl but there's no where to store it when not in use. One change I'm also implementing is shampooing with the style in to prevent major tangling issues.
I try to stick to simple styles and leave the intricate ones for special occassions.
I learnt a lot from blogs and youtube and my skills are definitely better today than 2 years ago. I was able to buy a kid's styling chair on kijiji so I can stand upright while making their hair. My back sent me a thank you note the other day! All styling is done in front of the TV.

Products: Here's a list of our hair products and styling aids and where we get them

Herbal essence hello hydration shampoo and conditioner from Grocery store
Selsun blue antidandruff shampoo from Grocery store
Kinky-Curly Knot Today Leave In Conditioner/Detangler - 8 oz for Spice (I stock up on US trips to Target)
Mane 'n Tail Detangler for Sugar (and mummy) from Walmart
Denman tangle tamer for brushing the stands after detangling with afro comb from Amazon
Tangle Teezer for the "kitchen" area from Amazon or Sally's
Afro comb from comb section of various stores
Sulphur 8 extra strength cream for their scalps from Walmart
Giovanni Vitapro Fusion Leave-In Hair Treatment for Sugar's hair from Winners or Real Canadian Superstore
Giovanni Direct Leave-In Conditioner for moisturizing with styles in from Winners or Real Canadian Superstore
Castor oil alone or mixed with jojoba oil for seal moisture with styles in from the pharmacy, health food stores, Amazon or ethnic hair store
Cutting comb from Nigeria
Boar bristle brush that's not too stiff from comb section of various stores
A collection of hand towels that are reserved for hair only.
Sleep caps (which are not always used) and satin pillowcases from Sally's or Amazon (the Betty Dain brand. It feels very stiff when new but softens up after washing)

When I recall that on their first birthday the girls had teeny-weeny afros, I appreciate how far we've come and really love the hair journey we're sharing as a family.

Hair at their first birthday photo shoot

PS: In case you're wondering about MY hairstyle, I've gone from dreadlocks to afro to texturized afro to red afro to mohawk to very short afro to very short afro with red highlights THIS year alone! Yes, I need that vision board.

I blame my hair shenanigans on midlife crisis. What's the most adventurous thing you've done with your hair lately?