Shadow Creatures

in class

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:36:00 +0000

ok. I cant stand K. I want her to get off my back about Greg.

Last night, my mom and I talked about Greg. I know his a witch, but my mom doesn't want me to be around him. She is afraid, the leader of Greg coven will hurt me.

Greg's leader and my grandfather had a bad falling out and the high priest is happy about my grandfather's inactivity.

what

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:36:00 +0000

k must be bored in drama. she is txting me non stop. well, my family knows about greg. i have to have the talk with my parents.

what

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:35:00 +0000

k must be bored in drama. she is txting me non stop. well, my family knows about greg. i have to have the talk with my parents.

in my last class

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:28:00 +0000

m is in my class. he looks like a walking dead. plus, he has started feeding on human blood, everyday. soon he will be a crazy ego vamp.

greg

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:23:00 +0000

he did put a spell on me

hi there

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:08:00 +0000

ok. i know, i have been mia. but, a lot is going on in my family. dealing with M, me, Greg and Fire. I spoke to Fire about Greg and she told me, her mother was raped by my grandfather. What the hell?

Fire even said thatg my grandmother wiped her mother and sent her out west before she gave birth to Spirit. so Spirit is my mom's half sister. Simon Peter is my half brother and half brother to Spirit. does that make sense. Crazy.

Found out, Fire knows what Greg is into because she deals with magic. magic makes her change into differenet things.

my family has been among the vamps to long. they still think, they are fashion models with chip on their shoulder. they are just a pain in the ass. they need sun and make up.

M is feeling depress. he is looking more like a vamp then a shadow. shit. what the hell did aunt meg do? what was she thinking?

uncle merlin doesnt know what to do?

what would my grandfather do; i wonder.

K caught me holding hands with Greg. K knows about him and his coven. My uncle Clive is friends with a witch in Greg coven. I asked K, not to tell anyone. I hope shed doesn't. I like Greg. I dont care that he is a witch.

hello

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:50:00 +0000

testing my new phone

Crazy Times

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 03:21:00 +0000

I have been so busy with Greg and family stuff. I'm going to say this, I HATE VAMPIRES. They are bitches of the damn night. These creatures damned so much. I know God can't stand them. A few of them stay over for the weekend to handle M.

They're so concern about their race being touch with foreign genes. Their concern was, what type of person M will be. So what? Don't you think, my mom is worried about the whole thing too.

I didn't know about this, but vampires run around in clans. Each clans has a leader and the followers. Apollo is the leader of this clan, so what. But, even though, Apollo is the leader, he has to answer to a body of higher up people. Crazy. Just more red tape to do something.

If something needs to be done in our family, my mom will get it done. So, having a brunch of fashion model creatures at my house was crazy.

I had to share my room with a vamp girl. She looked like a model without blood and sunlight. She had black hair and no soul in her eyes. She looked dead. Her name is Myst. She was every quiet and kept to herself. She was their for business, not to social. I don't even know what job she does for the ratmpires, but it must be important and she was the only one who slept in a coffin. The rest of the ramps slept on guest room beds in the house.

They met at night with my mom in the library, but they do walk around during the day. I didn't know that. They feel, they get their full power of mental and spiritual during the night. Well, that's what Apollo says, anyways.

So, I didn't ask my mom about what Greg and Fire told me. Plus, I have not seen M around lately. He has not been in school this week.

I wish, I can hold him and comfort him, but he was dealt with a bad hand and I don't know what he is going through or what to say.

I hope Apollo doesn't kill him, his own son.

I have to go.

The phone is on Fire

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:20:00 +0000

I'm still on the phone. I had to call Fire about what Greg told me last night.

OMGish

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:24:00 +0000

He kissed me. OMG. I went to my first session of Lead. It was ok. Met a few girls and tried to be social.

Simon Peter waited outside in the car for me. He waited for me out in front of the school. I got into the car and it was cold as ice. As if, life didn't exist. I cant believe, he's my brother, well half brother. Remeber, his father is my grandfather. I wondered what the hell happen to him.

I was driven home like a rich queen for a rich country, but there was no emotion. I dont know why, I'm feeling so emotional.

I went upstairs to do my homework, so what right?

E.C. knocked on the door and opened it. "Your boyfriend is here. You better hurry", E.C. said.

I used demon time and I was waiting for him by the side on the sidewalk. I was sitting and was cool. He saw me.

"Can I join you?" Greg asked.

"ok".

He sat down next to me. I wanted to scream, but remained cool.

He knew, I knew.

You know the witch thing. He knew, I knew. Plus, he knows I'm a shadow creature. The Priest in his coven told him and gave him an outline of our history.

Remeber, I said, I dont know why Shadow Creature dont like witches and it's the other way around.

Greg told me, the witches believe we are hypocrites.

Our race are the biggest hypocrites of all. Because my grandfather taught about God, heaven, hell and worship, then my grandfather rape his own slave and daughter. Plus, we were created by a demon who wanted forgiveness from God.

Greg said The Head Priest knew my grandfather. They got into a fight about religion and the dark arts. My grandfather cursed him and threaten to eat him, if he didnt disappear.

Greg say something that made me think about Fire. I have to talk to her tomorrow about this.

But, out of the blue, he touched my face and I felt an release as if i died, but still awake. I closed my eyes and saw the ocean, smelt the salt water, digged my toes in the sand,feeling the breezes for the ocean rolling in and seeing the full moon Diana smiling at me. I was in heaven and had peace of mind and body.

He lend into me and kissed my lips. My body was loose in his arms, like I didnt have any bones in my body. O My God, how can one kiss can release you to a place of peace.

I dont know how long I was in his arms, but a sense came over me. I told Greg good-bye, used demon time to travel to my room.

E.C. came into my room and I told him everything.
Even about our Grandfather. But, if Galvin is trying to win back God's favor, should I trust him?

First Kiss

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:00:00 +0000

greg kissed me. i saw heaven. tlk l8r

To Lead

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:46:00 +0000

With the help of Uncle Merlin, I got on the debate team and got into Lead. Lead is a leader club in school. Hopefully, I will be able to branch out and know people. But, this is funny, I few kids in the school has read this blog.

I'm here among you. I saw Greg this morning. He smiled at me. I need to tell him, I know. But, I'm a creature of the night too. That's what the humans think.

I'm changing and I can feel it. I'm becoming more bold and stern. I hope, I dont turn into my mother. A person with no emotions, a stone cold moving statue without heart.

Since M is a half breed, I dont know how to talk to him. He is being bold with a no care way of think, which drives me insane.

His teeth are more sharp waiting to feed on flesh at a glance. School is nothing for him, since he knows, he can never die.

But, I am worry about the vampire, who may feed on him and I will never see him again.

Now, is M a blessing or a curse to our family? I dont know, since the vamps cant stand to see us.

I dont get it. We are all the same, but just different races. The humans still fear us the same.

I'm planning to stay after school. Simon freakin Peter will be picking me up. I cant stand him.

One ?, I have for him, where does he gets him people?

Cold as the weather

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:14:00 +0000

I'm as cold as the weather, today. I need to be more social, instead of the girl with a big nasty hair mold on the face.

K is in sports and in the drama club. C is in the music club. E.C. is part of fencing team and chess club.

I need to do something. I have been so worried about my family and my own emotions; which made forget about living.

I forgot how to live in human time and want things to speed up like in Demon time.

I have been trying to figure out my life instead of living it. I need to get out.

Greg wasn't in school today and I have not spoken to him. I don't know if I should tell him, I know. Should I, I don't know. But, may ask, how I know.

I can't tell him, I put a spy on him. Damn. What should I do? Plus, I don't know why my family don't like witches?

It's not like we are saints.

He's not on fire

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:00:00 +0000

Galvin was in church today. Yeah, I went, this morning. I got up and got dress and went to our church room. Simon Peter preached of course. It's about sinning, the bible, faith in God and all that. Crazy. Elenore, E.C. and me were bored to tears, until Galvin came into the room. There was a deep long silence to the point you can hear a mouse and their family conducting a church service for five mins.

Galvin was a little girl this time. He was wear a farmers girl blue dress with white dots and blue country shoes with ankle white socks. Pale white, with black hair and blue eyes. The hair was in pig tails and bangs.

I wondered how he found this girl and wondered if he was also bring us food. I could never eat a little girl, I don't care how hungry I am.

Galvin sat down as we all stared. He smiled, as if he is proud of his creations.

Simon Peter continued to preach after Galvin gave the sign. I would think, Galvin would be afraid of churches and another God like things. Simon Peter finished the sermon and we ate like a family and no, we didn't eat the girl's body.

K came over and Galvin asked her, why her family wasn't at church since they were in town. She didn't have an answer, but was on nerves around him. She needed to go to bathroom, but I know, she didn't to call her parents. Her father is totally scared of him.

We took a taxi to Westbury, just hang. You know. I need more friends.

In the bathroom

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:39:00 +0000

I have been trying to type out my feelings, but with school, studying and life, it's so hard for me. The SSATs are coming up at the end of the month and I need to take them. Uncle Merlin told me, it was a great idea to do so, but I'm not leaving my school. So I don't know. This week has been crazy and I'm aching to write more. This blog has helped me to keep things into focus.

You know when, you think about this and that and this and that, you start to go crazy and your life and spinning out of control. That's me.

I need to keep focus on me, instead of my gut feelings and my family. Everyone has gut feelings and I let them guide me, but sometimes you can over worry about a gut feeling and that's want makes you crazy.

Spirit did spy on Greg. Greg is not normal. I knew it. He's a witch. He's a creature of the night, but I don't know how old he is. I wish I knew. Spirit warned me about Witches and told me the leave him alone, but I can't .

I don't know why my family doesn't like witches. We are creatures of the night, just like were wolves and vampires. Now, I don't believe in were wolves because I never saw one. I do believe in vampires because of Uncle Apollo, Aunt Megan and Uncle Merlin's friend.

They had dinner with use on Wed. It's was strange. Uncle Apollo drank blood, of course because that's what vampires do. My mom and dad served real human flesh, I wonder who. The meal was good. Mercy, M, and Maverick was enjoying the meal. Mckenna was in South America on a dig. She's such nerd. I can't stand her.

When she enters a room, everyone needs to talk to her as if she has the answer to the mystery of life and death. I wish, she knew if we can die. But, I became to the conclusion, I can't die.

Period. I will be living forever and ever. It's this a good thing, I don't know. I will just be like Uncle Clive, reinventing myself over and over.

Uncle Merlin seemed he wasn't please to eat with Uncle Apollo. I felt his anger. If you looked at him, you can see a bloody red glow around him and it was like, he wanted to kill him. Apollo was like, so what. M was quite and didn't say a word. I wanted to cry but, I don't know why. M is such a mess, but you have to feel sorry for him. He seems, he doesn't fit in with the family, certainly, his family.

Uncle Merlin family is all about faith in God and the bible. Also, they can see the past, the present and the future with no problem. I have to right to ask Mercy for advice about the future, but my mom already warned me about my leadership power and E.C. wont let me.

After dinner, the ADULTS went to my mom's study and closed the door. EL, my sister and Mercy went to EL room to play. Maverick left in his car. M, me and E.C. was in E.C. room. Yes, the SOB was looking to see if we were not having sex. I HATE SIMON PETER. He is getting on my Fuckin nerves. My brother and I used to be so close to the point we would shower together. I don't see anything wrong with that. When we showered or bath together, we would talk about our feelings and things. It was like our time to vent, talk and understand what the hell was going on in our lives. Now, we can't even talk together in a room with the door close. I miss the closeness with my brother. We were like one person, but now I feel scared to be alone. He's my only and true best friend. I love him.

I need to tell him about Greg. What would he say? Yikes, I don't know. M was really depress. He was talking about running away from the family because he didn't belong. I think that is BS. Because he's still my cousin, just the strange one in the family. But, I love him. He is cool, but he was crying.

There was more shouting downstairs and E.C. and I felt the anger and judgment coming. I looked at M and now I know. He's different. I felt it, but I didn't want to put stock into it. Now, I know why mom is mad with Aunt the Slut Megan. M is half vampire. At dinner, I felt it, strong. Now, I know why mom was upset with Aunt Megan.

E.C. and I didn't have to hear it, but we felt it. We looked at M and he floated away into the wall and out the door. E.C. and I looked at each other because our family don't like vampires and vampires don't like us. One reason why, we like Uncle Apollo because he doesn't judge us.

Vampires believe we are not valid because we don't have a long history. The only thing, we have and they don't, is our great grand father is a demon. Yes, I said it. He is a demon, not the good angles in heaven. He was curse and thrown out of heaven with all the other demons. I can't trust him, eventhough he made us. Who can you trust a person who created you. It's like not having faith in God. But, I do have faith in God, but not in my own great grand father.

I don't know what to do. Uncle Merlin did call for Mercy and M, but I told him M left. It was like Uncle Merlin understood.

What is the future for M? I wonder, if other vampires know about him. Would they kill him because he is half and half. I don't know what the future will bring for him. Should I tell the rest of my family? I don't know. But, now things make sense. He is actually part of the living dead. He's dead, but alive.

He did make it to school, but I felt so sorry for him. I wish, I could take his pain away, but I can't. How can you live in a world were two races you are part of don't like each other. I hope the vampires leave him alone. It's not his fault.

And what should I do about Greg? I could see if his family just practice Wiccan, but he is actually a real witch. I have to study some more about Witches, instead of the craft.

My believe, Wiccan and being a witch to totally two different things. Wiccan is the religion and being a witch is a race.

I have to asked Maverick, why our family don't like witches, but then again, he can read my mind. Damn. You can't win with this family.

I will pray for M. I hope Apollo controls his race. They are like rats on the earth. sick people who don't care about anyone,but themselves. I would like to cut all their heads off and kill the race because we don't need them.

Uncle Merlin, told me, I would have to choose about something. Maybe, my something just arrived.

SHIT.

Can't sleep

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 07:31:00 +0000

Today, Greg touch me. I felt a tingling through my body. How can my body feel so weird with one touch on my arm. I wanted to scream, it was a crazy sensation. I felt good and weird. He's so cute. Just looking at him makes me get so nervous and I don't know how to speak, like I'm tongue tied. His smile is bright as the sun and dreaming like Ashton Kutcher. He's tall and slim and oh, he's so good looking. Oh, my god.

But, he's not me and I don't know what he is. But, I know, he's not normal, but again, I don't know. I called Spirit on Saturday to see if she could spy on him and she said she will. But, I know there is going to be a catch. I just know it. She's such a drama queen. Drama, Drama, Drama. Mom said, she's filled with drama because of her mother. I don't understand it and I don't care. So what, I don't care who likes who.

I talked to Fire on the phone and she was happy about Greg. She's not dating anyone, right now because she's going to school and learning more about changing into things. I don't get it. She's so beautiful and smart, I would think any guy would date her. But, she's ok and doing fine.

M is acting out more and more. He's so freakin weird, why is he my cousin? He needs a sun tan. I swear, he's so pale, whiter than a white wall. Whiter than chalk. He doesn't want to talk to us in school anymore. E.C. told me today, one day in gym class in fell and cut himself. The blood was there, but didn't run, like normal blood.

I know, my blood runs and I don't have the need to lick it or anything, only normal human blood. But, it's like wine to me. Like human flesh is like sweet chocolate. My mouth waters just thinking about it.

How did my mom make my dad into my race. Did she said, "To be with me you have to eat human flesh and drink human blood and I think you will live forever."

How does someone make the sacrifice to become something, they are not. Is it truly love? How did my mom tell my dad she was a Shadow Creature? Or did my dad already know?

What is Greg? Who is he?

I'm so eager to go to school, just to see him. On Friday, I did talk to him in the library. I don't know what he said, but I was looking at him. It's was crazy. E.C. saw me and laughed.

I just don't want K and C to know.

Greg

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 01:10:00 +0000

I met Greg, yesterday at school. What else can I say? He is so hot, so full of magic and life. Ok, here it is.

I was walking in the hall after English class. So what, right. Well, you know, just walking to my math class. It's so strange and eerie when I walked down the hall with all the normals. You see the normals checking their mansion like lockers which you wonder if a little butler guard their books and things.

It's so funny, the normals are checking their lockers, talking, gossiping, judging others, smile and laughing, but it's a buffet for me. Just looking at them makes my mouth water, I close my eyes and think about how they would taste and I get an unsettling feeling to just bite the most tender parts of their bodies to kill my cravings.

Thinking about it,I think a would change into my true self, I continue to talk about it, but I can't. Right now, I have the craving for some true real bloody human flesh. I crave it so.

I needed to walk to my next class, but a boy tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around because I knew it wasn't family. K would yell out my name, C would act like a poor white ass gangsta and E.C. would just walk up to me.

I turned around, the boy was white with a dark tan, curly brown hair with blonde highlights, slim and cute. I was blown away when I saw him. I just wanted to miss math class, just for him.

He just moved here from Canada with his parents and grandparents. He was happy living in the states and met K through drama class.

He didn't say much, I think he was nervous, but I was too. I did most of the talking. I talked about school, my brother and anything on my mind. I couldn't believe it, I met him.

I left him in the hall and went to class, but I didn't want to. He is so cute, like a little cute puppy. Oh, so cute. I didn't want to leave him.

When I got to my desk, I txt E.C.

There is something about him, I don't know about. Strange. It seems, he's not normal. I didn't the feel to eating him.

I don't know about him. I heard, I can call Spirit to spy on him. I'm going to it. Because, he's not normal.

Galvin came to me. He told me to be myself and to let things flow. I was not meant to understand everything, but I should let things flow and everything will be reveal.

I don't know if Galvin care about us or not.

M

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:10:00 +0000

M is acting like a tool in the 3rd degree. I don't know why? He doesn't want to hang out with me or E.C. in school anymore. Such a jerk. I'm going to act like Trinity and pull rank.

Aunt Megan called Sunday night and mom and her screamed over the phone. It was so bad, like so bad, my mom changed into her true self and stayed like that for a while. My mom was PISSED. Simon Peter and my dad had to calm her down. E.C. and I talked about it, but we don't know what to do. I have to asked our Great grand father for advice. I don't trust him, but he made us, so I think he would know more about us then Simon Peter.

It's so funny, Great grand pa Galvin is like Jehovah to the Christians. But, what religion am I? I love God and have deep respect and faith, but I feel like, I'm a demon.

Plus, is Galvin really THE ONE, who we are not suppose to mention?

At first, I knew I was strange, but now, my life is complicated.

Okay

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 04:55:00 +0000

Hi. I called him; Greg. It wasn't easy. But that's the good part. Something happen in the family. Mom hates Aunt Megan. They never got along, but this time it's serious. But, first things first.

E.C. wanted me to call Greg for the longest time. So, when I got home from school yesterday, I did homework and looked at Greg's number.

Now, I never called a boy before, so what the hell am I suppose to say. "Hi. My name is.... I am from a strange family. My mom is close to 200 years old." I don't know. I hate this. I don't look good anyway. I'm just nerd. What would you do?

Listen, I just go to school, come home, do homework, play video games, talk to some of my friends and that's it. I have not talk my best friend Bethany in a long time, like a few weeks. I see her in the hall, but now, I don't know what to tell her.

It's sad, I forced my brother to be my new ultimate friend.

Bethany and I grew up together from pre-school. We used to go to this school in Valley Stream. They had horse back riding, gymnastics and other stuff; I don't remember.

When I was normal, we would play, talk and have fun. When my body changed, I don't know how I can tell Bethany, "Hi. I'm a shadow creature. I eat humans."

Come on, what would she think about me and my family. When I look in the mirror, I see the freak of the week.

Ok, I called Greg from the kitchen. I dialed his number as if I was dialing the president's number. I was shaking. I was so nervous that my nails grew long and pointy, my eyes turned hollow and my skin was dead. I looked like a functioning walking grim reaper with style.

He answered the phone, "Hi". I must have lost my mind because I hung up the phone. E.C. walked into the kitchen and stared at me. Then busted out laughing. He laughed so hard, he was crying and wanted to fall.

"What", I said.

"You forget, I can your mind," he said.

"Shut up!"

"It's just a nerd, like you. He's friends with C. He knows about you, E. K told him."

"What," I couldn't believe what E.C. was saying. I mean, I didn't know he knew C and K. So, my question was, who was he.

"Just call him. Say, yeah lover, what are you doing?" E.C. said.

"You know, you would look good in a dress, since you know how to talk like a girl."

"Please, if I was girl, you would be jesouly because I would look better than you. Who can deny my big blue eyes, my cheeks, my eyes lashes, my cute nose and my full sexy lips," E.C. said as he was blinking his eyes. I swear, he acted like he was in "Gone With The Wind" as Scarlett O'Hara.

"Are you gay?"

If I was, I would still look better than...."

E.C. wasn't able to finish his sentence because the CHIEF AND GOD entered the room.

"STOP THE TALKING," Simon Peter said with fire in his eyes. I peed in my pants and E.C. wanted to cry.

"You must respect God's rules and laws. YOU ARE SINFUL CREATURES."

E.C. and I left the kitchen and ran to my room for dear life. We lost the courage and the drive to tell Simon Peter again. For some reason, we had more than the usual fear of him.

Anyway, I called Greg on E.C. cell phone. I didn't want to use his phone. But, what could I do? I called Greg and he thought I was E.C. I told him, I was E.

We talked about school and our classes. Thank god, E.C. was there. He coach me through the conversation.

So Greg is on the fencing, chess and math teams. He comes from a crazy family like mine. He's cool. We like the same movies, shows and the same books. But, I was nervous and really wanted to get off the phone.

His voice was dark and deep like Chuck on Gossip Girl. I melted like hot chocolate. He sounded sexy and gorgeous. I don't remember everything he said, but hearing his deep voice made me into a little silly girl. When I hung up the phone, my cheeks were red. E.C. was laughing so hard that I hit him.

Today, Greg didn't approach me. I don't know what he looks like.

Aunt Megan came over and mom yelled at her. She ran out of the house crying. I don't know what is going on, but it has to do with M. What is going on?

Today, Today

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 04:54:00 +0000

Today was freaky. But this weekend was freaky. E.C. and I went to Westbury mall to shop and just to hang out. We just walked around the mall, shop and ate.

Shopping is a release for me. I'm such a girl. It was so much fun and E.C. and I talked about normal stuff. We didn't talk our feelings or the family.

When we ate, E.C. sat across from me. I looked into his beautiful blue eyes and smiled. If he wasn't me brother, he would be the perfect boyfriend for me. He's beautiful with a beautiful soul. My heart raced and I laughed when I am around him. I would love to get married to him, only him. His oiled black hair, long eye lashes, pump lips and can talk about everything, just like a girl. He's and will always be my best friend.

But, something happen. CRAZY.

E.C. had to go to the bathroom. So what right, he came back with a number.

Found out, while we were walking through the mall, a guy was checking out. A guy. When E.C. was in the bathroom, the guy thought E.C. and I were dating, but E.C told him, we're just brother and sister; twins.

E.C. told me, he was tall, slender, brown eyes and went to our school, but was on the geek squad.

I have his number, but have not called him.

In school, I wanted E.C. to bring him to me, but he wants me to call him. I may do it tomorrow. I'm so scared. OMG.

What am I going to do? What am I going to say? I don't know. I never spoke to a guy, who wasn't a family member.

I wish E.C. would just point him out to me and I can see him. Because I don't even know what he looks like. But, I don't know, if I'm pretty enough.

Maybe I look like a monster is his eyes. I don't know. I wish he could just walk up to me in school and say, "Hi. My name is Greg." Because that's his name.

Oh God. What should I say? I want to yell,but it will be so silly to do so.

I wish, I had more self-esteem in myself and my abilities. I don't have anything to offer and then again, I never talk to him and don't even know what he's like.

I have to call him, but I wish my stupid bro could just help me out, for once. UGH!!!!!!!!!!

Almost Saturday

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 03:18:00 +0000

It will be almost Saturday morning. E.C. and I are close again, but Simon Peter doesn't like it. I don't care. He's an ass. I know you should never talk or write about an advisor like that but I don't care. He thinks E.C. and I will have sex; which is SICK. I love my brother, but not like that. SICK.

Simon Peter wants us the read bible daily, but why? I don't believe God loves my family. God can give a damn about us.

If you read the bible, Galvin is a demon and my great grand father. He made us, so we come from demon kind, so why would God in heaven want to love us. So, I don't understand why my family have to go to church and read bible.

I would like to know what my purpose is with this life I have. I don't know if I could get sick with a disease, grow old or die. I know, I need to stop bitching.

Uncle Apollo, he's a friend of the family and a vampire. Uncle Merlin and Uncle Apollo knew each other for a long time, probably hundreds of years. Uncle Merlin just told me, Uncle Apollo is a vampire; which is cool because you know what vampires are all about. They drink blood, never grow old, they pale as death and terrible teeth. Everyone knows about vampires and even were wolves, but I never seen one (were wolf). I don't even think were wolves exists.

I'm just don't know what to do? My emotions are bubbling inside of me and I wish I knew what I'm suppose to do.

I knew I was different from other children, I knew my family were different. It funny, the only people who understand you is your family, but you still feel all alone. Like trap in a cage without knowing when I can get out and see the world as it is. You know. I'm hurting so much, but I have to be strong.

I look at my mom and she never ever show any emotions. She's never happy, sad, angry or hurt. She's just made out of stone without a heart. She's more like a warden then a mom. The night when Uncle Merlin was going to tell us the story, was FIRST TIME, my mom shown any emotion.

How am I suppose to be leader in my family when I can't lead myself? Should I ask Satan for help? Or Jehovah for help? I don't even know who I should pray for?

I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of doubt, lies, drama, insecurity and sadness. What I am going to do?

I feel something is going to happen. I talked about with E.C. He feels it too. But, I need to be concern with my school work. It has been slipping. I hate that. I always need to be perfect.
K is becoming popular. She sees her disease as a gift to make her popular in school.

I need to stop calling what I have is a disease. I'm just trying to fit something into my life, that's not normal. Normal people can't move in a split second, make their eyes hollow as a dead tree rotting inside, move in angel time or normal time, have a burn mark so people will know you family tree, move scars and moles around my body, and become a monster.

Family Tree

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:33:00 +0000

Last night, before my visit from Great Grand Father, I was wondering how my mom got my father to become Shadow Creature. Strange, but how do you even ask someone to become a monster. How does someone become a monster?

Aunt Megan was at my house talking to my mom. I believe, my mom was piss at her,but she doen't like her anyway. So what? What is, M? They were talking about him and how he'll be judge? WTF?

Yeah, M is a mess and so dark, but he's my cousin. Like, hello. My mom was talking about him as if he was an outsider, but that's how he acts. So what?

I hate these secrets.

Last night, Galivn, visited me. It's so strange. I was at my desk in my bedroom, with the door open. Just doing homework.

In a split second, the door slammed shut as if a storm was in my hallway. It made me jump out of my chair. Crazy.

I ran to the door, but it seemed it was nailed shut. I looked around my room and heard a voice. It was Galvin, I knew it.

I can't say what he told me.

Am I child of God? Does God loves me, even though I come from unnatural means?
Am I judging my family?

2day

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:24:00 +0000

on my phone. just testing right now. i went 2 sleep early last night. but, omgsh, wtf?

2day

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:24:00 +0000

on my phone. just testing right now. i went 2 sleep early last night. but, omgsh, wtf?

WHAT?

noreply@blogger.com (Erica Ellwood) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:58:00 +0000

I came home early from school, 2day. Get this, my Aunt Megan is here. I couldn't believe it bcause my mom can't stand Aunt Megan. Aunt Megan is married to my Uncle Merlin. After Uncle Merlin told us the history of our race, Aunt Megan told me, she met Susan B. Anthony; who she called Susie.

I heard talking in the closed door library. My mom sounded piss. Got 2 go.

write later