While that sentiment is useful when dealing with others, it’s not always true when you’re talking about yourself. That’s because personal brands, like business brands, are aspirational. Even if you don’t have a perfect resume, you can still brand yourself for future success. It’s important to portray ourselves, online and offline, in ways that show others what we can do, and who we want to be. And for most of us, that means we have to deal with stuff that isn’t always “nice.”

Portray Past Disappointments as Valuable Lessons

Most of us have had a few false starts. Maybe you started in one career and ended up in another. Or you might have taken a series of dead-end jobs to get through a rough patch. Many top execs take lower-position jobs to pay the bills until they find the next big executive role. The point is that very few of us have compiled a completely linear career history. So, how do you talk about a job history that is peppered with detours? 

I find all those articles that tell us how very successful people got their start to be so fascinating. Warren Buffet delivered newspapers. Oprah worked in a grocery store. Michael Bloomberg was a parking lot attendant. Jeff Bezos flipped burgers at McDonald’s in Miami. When you read these interviews, notice that instead of dismissing those early jobs, these billionaires frequently share what they learned in those less-than-glamorous positions. They use those early stories to articulate how past experiences led to current success.

Warren Buffet. Source: instagram.com/warrenbuffetsofficial/

Buffet treated his newspaper delivery job like a business, even deducting the costs of his bike from his taxes. Oprah reports that her grocery job helped her become comfortable talking to strangers. Bloomberg used his parking lot wages to pay for his college tuition. Even Bezos says, tongue in cheek, that his time at McDonald’s taught him how to move goods quickly to the customer without damaging them.

Don’t Hide Your Past

Many people avoid LinkedIn profiles because they’re not sure how to handle listing past jobs. But leaving gaps in your job history is also revealing. And refusing to be on LinkedIn can raise red flags for some employers.

What do you do if your job history is out of whack with your aspirations? First, know that detours are common. You are not the only person to have completed a career-180. Every professional journey tells a story, so make sure you convey your tale in a way that puts your best foot forward. Think of what you learned in each job, and how that related to what you want to do today. Talk about your hustle, your ability to get things done, and emphasize your track record of success, even when your accomplishments hail from a different industry. With a little time and editing, you can transform your job history in ways that ultimately convey authenticity and honesty.

Inspiration from the Stars

Let’s look at the Dancing with the Stars celebrity bios for inspiration (and giggles.) You’ll see zero evidence of past failings or misdeeds; instead, these carefully-crafted bios underscore their best qualities and serve as a short script of how each dancer wants to be known going forward. I confess I’m a little obsessed with how public figures reposition themselves and wrote about this very topic on my friend Gini Dietrich’s blog, Spin Sucks a few years back.

The 2019 season of Dancing with the Stars doesn’t disappoint with more than a few controversial contestants. Let’s take a look at Sean Spicer, the former Trump aide that hit a political wall when he was unceremoniously dismissed from the White House. Does his online bio focus on that? Not one bit! Here’s an excerpt: “Sean Spicer’s political career began long before the former White House press secretary made his mark as one of the most recognized staffers in the Trump administration. Spicer built a decades-long career in Republican politics, witnessing and shaping the inner workings of Washington, D.C., from every vantage point…”

What about Ray Lewis? This USA Today article says of Lewis, “Ray Lewis, an NFL Hall of Famer who will no doubt use his airtime to spout religious platitudes and recreate his patented ‘Squirrel’ dance. Just don’t expect him to give a full accounting of his role in the stabbing deaths of two men outside a nightclub in 2000. Lewis was initially charged with murder, but the charges were dropped, and he pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of obstruction of justice.” His DWTS bio, however, starts with this: “NFL Hall of Famer Ray Lewis’ life has been an amazing journey through extremes—from the impossible odds of a challenging childhood to playing 17 noteworthy years in the National Football League and his induction into the NFL Hall of Fame in 2018. Lewis is widely considered to be one of the most dominant defensive players in the history of the NFL.”

Lamar’s DWTS bio ends on an uplifting note: “In October 2015, Odom fell into a coma and was hospitalized with life-threatening medical problems. He has since recovered from his health scare and obtained drug treatment. Present-day, Odom feels God kept him on this earth for a reason. He feels it is time to use his story to impact others and is now a professional speaker, traveling the world to inspire others with his breathtaking life story.” Quite unlike the USA Today article’s negative slant: “…best known for nearly dying in a Nevada brothel after binging on cocaine and a Viagra-like drug. Oh, and being married to a Kardashian.”

Drinking My Own Champagne

Yep, I do it too! My very first job post-college was as a secretary in the marketing department for the Fortune 1,000 Emerson Electric-owned power tool manufacturer SKIL Corp., since acquired by Robert Bosch Tool Corp. My job title on LinkedIn? Marketing Assistant. I mean, same thing, right? And the accompanying job description no longer lists the minutiae I was responsible for in my role but instead simply reads: “My first ‘real world’ job fresh out of school! I gained experience managing trade press relations, supporting field sales, and coordinating large promotional events for a Fortune 1000 manufacturer. Believe it or not, it was this job that made me realize the importance of building a strong professional network, and I’ve been working on that ever since!”

Now Some Homework

When I’m working with high-potential leaders and private clients, I start by helping the individual see that their past need not obstruct their future. In some of my own personal development work, I learned to say, “This is it, and it’s perfect.” We are where we are, right? No point in denying the present tense. And then we work on the future state by completing this sentence: “Who I am is the possibility of…”

Too often people talk about their future through the lens of the past, and that is limiting if not toxic. Whether your job history was wonderful or terrible, it’s behind you. If you create future aspirations and expectations based on your past, you will adversely skew everything you do going forward.

Think about your aspirational brand. How do you want to be known? What do you want people to recall when they think of you? How can you retell your history in a way that showcases your drive, skills, and expertise? Now update your resume and your online bios and start each day facing forward from the place of possibility!

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Challenge yourself by celebrating the effort! @simasays #cocktailnapkinquote #personalbrands #swayfactor 
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On July 25th of this year I set a goal: By my birthday, I will launch an online training course teaching job seekers about personal branding and social networking.  And on Tuesday I did it. Time to celebrate the effort!

The Challenge

I challenged myself to get 100 people registered; we hit 130.

I challenged myself to get 3 sponsors; we gratefully had 7.

I challenged myself to use new technology, and our new video-enhanced webinar platform was amazing.

And thanks to a Free Shipping on your Birthday email from DSW, I celebrated yesterday with a pair of new shoes and some sushi. But upon reflection I realized that I was not really celebrating the launch, nor was I celebrating my 48th. No, what I was celebrating was BEING IN ACTION. Taking steps forward. I was celebrating the effort, not the result.

Unfulfilled Goals? Celebrate the Effort

I think too often we set huge hairy goals and then when we fall short we call it failure. It holds us back. It holds ME back. No more.

I am calling quits on self-sabotaging thoughts. Effectively immediately, I am celebrating every tiny inch forward, even if some days that means just getting up off the couch.

In looking back at the last 8 weeks you know what I see? Someone who planned the work, and worked the plan. Someone who asked herself Why Not? Someone who, for just a moment, believed she could, leaned on her network for help, and gave it her all.

Sure we hit this one out of the park, but I have no idea how the next one will fare. The crazy thing is that it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I go for it.

Just Go For It!

What is that thing you need to go for? Come on, you know what it is. Quit looking the other way because it won’t go away. As my new friend and fellow speaker Julie Ann Sullivan told me just this morning, when she’s feeling unsure or overwhelmed she tells herself this:

Right foot. Left foot. Breathe.

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If you want to be remembered, be memorable @simasays #cocktailnapkinquote #personalbrands #swayfactor
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Coming home from a program I did for the Minnesota chapter of MPI this past week, I found myself thinking about how people can become more memorable, be memorable. Clients are always asking for training on personal branding online, but there is a huge offline component as well.

The Name Struggle

I used to struggle to get people to remember my name, let alone how to pronounce it, that is until I started saying, “It’s Sima, like ‘simma down now.’” That’s a Saturday Night Live reference that many people recognize, and others not so much. But either way, it sticks.

These days, it’s not uncommon for someone I think is a perfect stranger to approach me at a networking or social event smiling and saying, “Simma Down Now!” The real power, however, comes in helping them remember what it is I do… what I wish to do more of… what opportunities I want to attract. That’s art, science, and lots of practice!

How Can You Be Memorable?

When I meet you at a networking event, how do you introduce yourself? How do you answer the question, “So what do you do?” Does your elevator pitch pack a PUNCH?

P = Passion

U = Uniqueness

N = Natural

C = Clear & Concise

H = High Level

You’ve got fewer than 30 seconds to lure someone into your story… To convey your Character, Competence, Charisma and Context.

If this is something you’d like to work on join me for an online course in being memorable… Perfect for job-seekers and career-climbers everywhere.

Here’s the link to reserve your seat today: bit.ly/jobsearchsocial.

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Put it in writing! @simasays #personalbranding #swayfactor
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Sorry?

My feelings were hurt. Although it was unintentional, that didn’t ease the sting. She was quick to apologize and I was even quicker to accept. It was not how she treated people normally, I knew that and I told her so. Onward.

Forgiveness

This morning I found a card from her in my mailbox… a funny one-liner, “To f*ck up is human, to forgive divine.” But then she thanked me – thanked ME – for my grace.

Put It In Writing

I talk to audiences all the time about how to become more influential… how to increase your Sway Factor, and the plain truth is that it starts with your character. It’s the huge impact made by often very small actions that set you apart and saying I’m sorry is one of them. Saying it in writing? That puts you at the head of the class.

#swayfactor #cocktailnapkinquote #personalbranding

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See It Through @simasays #personalbrands #swayfactor
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Open your calendar and take a good hard look at it – if it’s anything like most people’s, it’s crazy jam-packed-busy. You can’t possibly add even one tiny To Do to your list, there’s just no time! You’ve all but given up working on the goals that are important to you because there is something always more pressing, something more urgent that demands your time.

We don’t manage time

Sound familiar? I don’t know anyone that doesn’t struggle with “time management.” I actually hate that phrase – we don’t manage time as much as we prioritize it. How are you prioritizing yours? Are you taking on the tasks that will get you more visibility? New opportunity? Greater influence?

My clients are business owners, sales leaders, and high potential corporate staffs from a wide array of industries but they all have this in common: They have made increasing their sway a priority, and I can tell because it’s on their calendar.

Show Up Step Up & See It Through

One way it shows up is as a volunteer commitment to their industry or line of business. When I was a high-tech marketer, I was active in both the Chicago Women in Technology (industry) as well as both the American & the Business Marketing Associations (line of business.) When I pivoted careers, I became active in the National Speakers Association and Toastmasters.

And by being active I don’t mean just joining. Increasing sway requires more than merely attending meetings. That’s the price of entry, not a difference-maker. People with greater sway raise their hand to volunteer. They take on assignments and they get them done. They show up, step up and see it through.

This past week, in front of a room full of my peers, I was awarded the 2017 NSA President’s Spirit Award. Not because I’m better than anyone else. Not because I’m special or unique in any way. But because when I said I’d do something, I did it. Sounds simple enough, right? That’s you all day long. It’s who you are, it’s how you roll!

The time is now

Here’s the thing – that behavior is expected of you at work, but hustling for the greater good of your industry, your profession, even your community… that’s magic. When we share our talent in this way, circles are expanded. Respect is earned. Reputations are forged. Personal brands are defined. Careers are catapulted.

My challenge to you this week: Look at your calendar with fresh eyes – what do your commitments say about your priorities? If you’re not making time to increase your sway, the time to start is now.

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Feeling Stuck? @simasays #cocktailnapkinquote #personalbrands #swayfactor
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About this time last year, I stopped practicing some healthy habits I’d worked very hard to create. I stopped regularly working out. I stopped writing every week. I stopped honoring my calendar and found myself working at odds hours of the night. In short, I stopped being the woman I wanted to be.

What do you do when you’re not living the life you want to live?

It didn’t happen overnight, yet still, it happened. And I don’t really understand why. Truth be told, I’ve done this before. Living the life I want to live, crushing my goals, feeling focused, confident, then almost as if on purpose, as if self-destruction was my intent, found myself on a divergent path headed in the wrong direction.

Even when we don’t understand ourselves, we still have to accept ourselves.

I was unhappy. Embarrassed… Fighting myself to get back on the path towards full self-expression. And then yesterday I wound up giving the very advice that I myself needed to hear. I was talking with a friend in an unhealthy relationship. She’s frustrated because she knows she needs to leave yet somehow can’t, and she doesn’t understand why. I reminded her of a lesson I had once learned but have apparently since forgotten… that even when we don’t understand ourselves, we still have to accept ourselves. We still have to love ourselves. We have to do the thing we know to do even when it’s hard.

We all face challenges; we all stumble. Sometimes even the smallest step forward can feel colossal and impossible. If it were easy, we wouldn’t spend $10B a year on the self-help industry. In talking to my friend I realized I too was fighting myself, frustrated and stuck. I decided to heed my own advice: Just because I don’t understand how I got here doesn’t mean I have to stay here!

To get in motion I joined a private Facebook group of fellow speakers who meet online to help one another make time to write. And I’m pleased to report that this morning I successfully wrote for two solid hours. I’m done with the self-loathing. I’m done with the negative self-talk. I’m done trying to understand why I fell off the wagon. Because spending any more time trying to understand how I got here gets me nowhere.

Feeling Stuck?

Are you stuck? If walking away seems too hard, try walking towards something instead. Just take one step out of your head and into action.

#cocktailnapkinquote #swayfactor

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Squash your inner Yoda! @simasays #cocktailnapkinquote #personalbrands #swayfactor
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When I’m not sure I can, I’m sure I can try.

There is no try?

The word “try” gets a bad rap. Take the Star Wars character Yoda and his famous line, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” I understand the intention but I still like the word “try.” Simply put, that word helps me move out of NO WAY and into action.

Last Sunday I was cycling with my friend in Wisconsin – my second longest ride of the season. Our goal was to do 70 miles but we ended up bailing at 50. Chicagoland is really flat, and this terrain was far hillier than I am used to. That and the tailwind / crosswind combo was killing me. Towards the end of the ride when I would get to the top of I hill I would say a silent prayer: “Please for the love of all things holy let that one be the last.” And then I would round the bend only to see another.

Upon seeing yet another hill my defeatist self-talk would kick in: I cannot do that. I am done. I am spent. No way. Maybe I should walk. Where is SAG support anyway? WTH is with all these hills?

Looking back, I realize I just never learned the critical art of cheering myself on. Maybe you learned that in organized sports, or from your parents, but I never acquired that skill… that soundtrack. I know better now.

No harm in trying

Last Sunday when I heard myself giving up without even giving a shot, I switched the tape: No harm in trying. What’s the worst case scenario? I get halfway there and walk the rest? So what! I’m getting stronger for trying, becoming a smarter cyclist for trying. Be proud of the effort and pedal on. Unleash the beast. Go you!

And damn if I didn’t try. It hurt but I made it to the top of that hill. And the next one, and the next one too. Had I attempted the 70 mile route would I have crushed it, or bonked? I’ll never know. And had I never tried to take those hills I would have not known that deep down — buried under “I can’t” — I actually had it in me.

It was the TRY

Last Sunday the emotional win wasn’t riding to the top of those hills; it wasn’t even the finish line; it was the TRY.

Now I’m going to “try” to finish my book. How about you? Switch the tapes and pedal on. No way to know where you’ll go unless you try.

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Every Day You Get To Choose Who You Are @simasays #cocktailnapkinquote #personalbrands #swayfactor
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The possibility of who I am in this world is born anew each day.

When Negative Thoughts Bubble up

When I catch myself start up with the negative self-talk… as if who I once was is who I am forever to be – I try like hell to remember this:

The possibility of who I am in this world is born anew each day.

Last week I did something I never before thought possible. I ran 5 miles. In a row. Without stopping. Running is hard for me, physically and emotionally, for a variety of reasons.

Worried that I might chicken out, I made plans to meet a friend and head to the race together. Knowing that my negative self-talk would become a roar if I let it, I created an upbeat play list to drown out all thought.

“I have asthma.” I have an inhaler.
“I run like a horse.” I have a trainer.
“I have high arches, tight shins, I’m not built for this.” Hashtag orthotics
“I am not a runner.” Clearly untrue.

It’s Not About Your Past

When we define ourselves by what we have not been able to do in the past, we achieve nothing but short-sheeting our future.

So I listen hard for my old stories, and I challenge those I love when I hear them fall into the same trap:

I am not good at dating.
Switching careers is too hard.
I am terrible at public speaking.
Networking is scary, I am uncomfortable talking to strangers.

Who Will You Choose To Be Today?

It’s all old news. I didn’t become a runner overnight, and I didn’t do it alone. And the truth is had I limped over the finish line – or more likely if my friend had pulled me over it by my hair (a scenario we actually planned for) – I would still have been a winner. Because I tried.

The possibility of who you are in this world is born anew each day.

Who will you choose to be today?

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‪The antidote to shame is forgiveness. #‎personalbranding‬ ‪#‎cocktailnapkinquotes‬ ‪#‎swayfactor‬
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Not gonna lie, I hit a wall. Hard.

Q4 2015 was brilliant! I launched my new brand, started writing again, created my first digital product, and on New Year’s Eve, just under the wire, I published my shiny new website.

And then I disappeared.

Living Large, Living Life

To some it looked like I was living large, posting updates to my personal page from Cabo in January; a weekend skiing the mountains of Salt Lake City in February; a mission-driven trip to Nicaragua in March; and an amazing speaking engagement in São Paulo this past April.

But my inner circle knew I was doing battle with some old demons, the sort that appear out of nowhere, take you out of the zone and snap you right back to a place you fought hard to leave. In short, I went down for the count.

The Realization

And when I realized what had happened, I was immobilized by shame. For dropping the ball. Losing momentum. Abandoning you, my readers. For stalling out on chasing my dreams. If I couldn’t rally, how dare I ask you to?

Seeking a jolt out of my inertia, I contemplated jamming a fork into an electric outlet to shock myself into action. And then I remembered that salvation of this kind can only come from within. And I forgave myself.

I remembered my humanness and accepted it. Accepted myself. I put things into perspective. No laws were broken, no puppies abandoned, no unicorns sacrificed… I mean really Sima – get over it, get going!

And so here I am. Rallying. And that gives me free license to ask you to do the same. So you have that to look forward to!

xoxo

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#choosejoy @simasays #cocktailnapkinquote #personalbrands #swayfactor
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For many people, this time of year is polarizing… (see what I did there?) It’s either your favorite season and you can’t wait to deck the halls, or it’s a time of year you dread, or at best, hope to just “get through.” I’m good from Halloween through Thanksgiving but then historically I slip into survival mode.

Say Yes To The Good

Not this year. On November 9th I publicly declared peace with the holiday season. I decided to say yes to all the good and ignore all the rest and you know what? It worked. I’ve said yes to invitations from strangers, to seeing old friends, and to making new ones. I said yes when I wanted to say “No not tonight, I think I’ll just stay home.” Yes to food drives and toy drives and dirty santa grab bags too.

I’m reminded of a friend who told me just a few short years ago, while I was going through a particularly difficult time, that happiness was a choice.

Happy Is A Choice

Truth? I wanted to punch him. But ‪#‎choosejoy‬ became my motto and with practice it got easier. And when I choose joy, I know I inspire others to do the same.

Let Your Light Guide

That’s not to say I don’t have bad days. Or that life is suddenly easy. Just ask my girlfriend whose fiancé died suddenly of a brain aneurism earlier this month. No, life is definitely hard. But we have a choice. You. And me. Who do you want to be? How do you want to respond? What light do you want to shine? Your light may just guide others… That’s sway.

Just something to think about as we approach the apex of “the most wonderful time of the year.”

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