If you feel tired, overwhelmed or just plain stressed out and uninspired today then this post will hopefully help you out.

In it I want to share wisdom and empowering reminders from some of the strongest and most successful women of all time.

This is 125 of the most positive, motivational and inspirational quotes for women.

I hope you’ll find something uplifting here, something to guide you to your own inner strength and to keep you moving through tough times and towards your own goals and dreams.

Inspirational Quotes for Women for a Boost of Positivity

“I try to live in a little bit of my own joy and not let people steal it or take it.”
– Hoda Kotb

“Why not take a chance and bet on happiness?”
– Jenny Han

“It’s not your job to be likable. It’s your job to be yourself. Someone will like you anyway.”
– Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”
– Helen Keller

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball

“The challenge is not to be perfect; it’s to be whole.”
– Jane Fonda

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”
– Maya Angelou

“Hope is the most exciting thing there is in life.”
– Mandy Moore

“I inhale hope with every breath I take.”
– Sharon Kay Penman

“Every day is a new opportunity to change your life and be who you want to be.”
– Demi Lovato

“I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles.”
– Audrey Hepburn

“My experiences remind me that it’s those black clouds that make the blue skies even more beautiful.”
– Kelly Clarkson

“Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.”
– Ingrid Bergman

“Once you know who you are, you don’t have to worry anymore.”
– Nikki Giovanni

“What we women need to do, instead of worrying about what we don’t have, is just love what we do have.”
– Cameron Diaz

“You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”
– Melissa Etheridge

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
– Marilyn Monroe

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
– Anne Frank

“I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself.”
– Emma Stone

“Surround yourself with people and things that inspire you. Learn everything you can.”
– Jameela Jamil

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
– Audrey Hepburn

Short Inspirational Quotes for Women

“She believed she could, so she did.”
– R.S. Grey

“Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.”
– Stephanie Bennett-Henry

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.”
– Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

“When the world tells you to shrink, expand.”
– Yoko Ono

“Girls should never be afraid to be smart.”
– Emma Watson

“Choose your dream. Work to the extreme.”
– Tyra Banks

“Everything is figureoutable.”
– Marie Forleo

“I can and I will. Watch me.”
– Carrie Green

“Done is better than perfect.”
– Sheryl Sandberg

“Be the woman you needed as a girl.”
– Unknown

“Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart.”
– Brené Brown

“Don’t stop until you’re proud.”
– Unknown

“Limit your ‘always’ and your ‘nevers.'”
– Amy Poehler

“Where there is a woman, there is magic.”
– Ntozake Shange

“Real queens fix each other’s crowns.”
– Unknown

“It’s up to you now. This is your life so make it yours.”
– Sarah Kelly

“Am I good enough? Yes, I am.”
– Michelle Obama

“Let your compassion fuel your passion.”
– Achea Redd

“No today doesn’t mean no tomorrow.”
– Yvonne Orji

“Practice creates confidence. Confidence empowers you.”
– Simone Biles

“She remembered who she was, and the game changed.”
– Lalah Delia

“There is more to life than being a passenger.”
– Amelia Earhart

Motivational Quotes for Women to Help You Reach Your Dream

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.”
– Estée Lauder

“If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.”
– Michele Ruiz

“Chance is the first step you take; luck is what comes afterward.”
– Amy Tan

“No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed to an uncharted land.”
– Helen Keller

“Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. Especially not yourself.”
– Mindy Kaling

“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”
– Ayn Rand

“Look closely at the present you are constructing: it should look like the future you are dreaming.”
– Alice Walker

“Ditch the dream and be a doer.”
– Shonda Rhimes

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”
– Gloria Steinem

“Stay committed and consistent and you will achieve your goals. Never give up.”
– Kelly Rowland

“You never know if you can actually do something against all odds until you actually do it.”
– Abby Wambach

“Aim at a high mark and you’ll hit it. No, not the first time, nor the second time. Maybe not the third. But keep on aiming and keep on shooting, for only practice will make you perfect.”
– Annie Oakley

“The most effective way to do it is to do it.”
– Amelia Earhart

“Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”
– Golda Meir

“We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.”
– Marie Curie

“Never be limited by other people’s limited imaginations.”
– Mae Jemison

“Instead of looking at the past, I put myself ahead twenty years and try to look at what I need to do now in order to get there then.”
– Diana Ross

“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you.”
– Caroline Myss

“What’s the world for if you can’t make it up the way you want it?”
– Toni Morrison

“When someone tells you that you can’t, figure out how you can.”
– Clarice Lam

Inspirational Quotes for Women to Get You Through the Hard Times

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.'”
– Mary Anne Radmacher

“It’s not about how many times you get rejected or fall down or are beaten up; it’s about how many times you stand up and are brave and you keep on going.”
– Lady Gaga

“There is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself.”
– Hannah Gadsby

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
– Maya Angelou

“Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak. Sometimes you’re just strong enough to let go.”
– Taylor Swift

“Life is not so much what you accomplish as what you overcome.”
– Robin Roberts

“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.”
– Louisa May Alcott

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as if you couldn’t hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that’s just the place and time that the tide’ll turn.”
– Harriet Beecher Stowe

“The warrior knows that her heartbreak is her map.”
– Glennon Doyle

“It’s the rough side of the mountain that’s the easiest to climb; the smooth side doesn’t have anything for you to hang on to.”
– Aretha Franklin

“When you feel broken by life’s painful moments, realize you are as resilient as sea glass, a bottle broken by the movement of the waves, but still beautiful.”
– Virginia Buckingham

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
– Helen Keller

“My best successes came on the heels of failure.”
– Barbara Corcoran

“For every failure, there’s an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.”
– Mary Kay Ash

“We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.”
– Maya Angelou

“All the people who knock me down only inspire me to do better.”
– Selena Gomez

“Fearlessness is like a muscle. I know from my own life that the more I exercise it, the more natural it becomes to not let my fears run me.”
– Arianna Huffington

“Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood.”
– Marie Curie

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”
– Rosa Parks

Empowering Quotes About Strong Women

“Don’t mistake politeness for lack of strength.”
– Sonia Sotomayor

“A strong woman looks a challenge dead in the eye and gives it a wink.”
– Gina Carey

“What’s the greatest lesson a woman should learn? That since day one, she’s already had everything she needs within herself. It’s the world that convinced her she did not.”
– Rupi Kaur

“Every woman’s success should be an inspiration to another. We’re strongest when we cheer each other on.”
– Serena Williams

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.”
– Maya Angelou

“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“Do not live someone else’s life and someone else’s idea of what womanhood is. Womanhood is you.”
– Viola Davis

“Feminism isn’t about making women strong. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.”
– G.D. Anderson

“A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman. But the search to find that voice can be remarkably difficult.”
– Melinda Gates

“There’s something so special about a woman who dominates in a man’s world. It takes a certain grace, strength, intelligence, fearlessness, and the nerve to never take no for an answer.”
– Rihanna

“The best protection any woman can have is courage.”
– Elizabeth Cady Stanton

“At some point in a woman’s life, she just gets tired of being ashamed all the time. After that, she is free to become whoever she truly is.”
– Elizabeth Gilbert

“How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.”
– Anaïs Nin

“I do not wish women to have power over men, but over themselves.”
– Mary Wollstonecraft

“A strong woman is a woman determined to do something others are determined not be done.”
– Marge Piercy

“I am a woman and a warrior. If you think I can’t be both, you’ve been lied to.”
– Jennifer Zeynab Joukhadar

“Here’s to strong women: May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.”
– Unknown

“After all those years as a woman hearing ‘not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not this enough, not that enough,’ almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, ‘I’m enough.'”
– Anna Quindlen

“Behind every great woman… is another great woman.”
– Kate Hodges

“When women support each other, incredible things happen.”
– Unknown

“Women have always been the strong ones of the world.”
– Coco Chanel

Leadership Quotes by Women for Success on Your Own Terms

“If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.”
– Shirley Chisholm

“If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not making decisions.”
– Catherine Cook

“If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then you are an excellent leader.”
– Dolly Parton

“If you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.”
– Margaret Thatcher

“It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent.”
– Madeleine Albright

“In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders.”
– Sheryl Sandberg

“Women belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn’t be that women are the exception.”
– Ruth Bader Ginsburg

“A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be.”
– Rosalynn Carter

“If you want to improve the organization, you have to improve yourself, and the organization gets pulled up with you.”
– Indra Nooyi

“Leadership is a series of behaviors rather than a role for heroes.”
– Margaret Wheatley

“When the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful.”
– Malala Yousafzai

“Once you’ve taken your seat at the table, it’s your job to pull out a chair for the others, too. Look for the others. Acknowledge them. Build a platform for them.”
– Bianca Bass

“True leadership is when you create opportunity for others, including yourself.”
– Shama Patel

“Some leaders are born women.”
– Geraldine Ferraro

“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”
– Sheryl Sandberg

“We need to get women to the point where they aren’t apologizing. It is time to take ownership in our success.”
– Tory Burch

“Whatever you do, be different – that was the advice my mother gave me, and I can’t think of better advice for an entrepreneur. If you’re different, you will stand out.”
– Anita Roddick

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
– Alice Walker

“What I want young women and girls to know is: You are powerful, and your voice matters.”
– Kamala Harris

“Don’t be intimidated by what you don’t know. That can be your greatest strength and ensure that you do things differently from everyone else.”
– Sara Blakely

Want more motivation to live your life the way you deep down want it to be? Then check out the best words of wisdom ever about life, the best Dolly Parton quotes here and also this one with short and motivational quotes.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”’
Helen Keller

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Living a life where you’re happier and kinder towards yourself is not just about what you can do.

But also about what you are already doing. And especially those habits that do have a negative and unhappy impact on your life.

So this week I’d like to share 9 such habits. And what have helped me a whole lot to do instead.

1. Stop overthinking.

Overthinking can make any issue seem bigger and scarier than it actually is. It can hold you back in life and from taking action.

What to do instead:

Set short time-limits for decisions.

For example: For small decisions like if should go and do the laundry, start writing a new article or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision. 

For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I set a deadline for 30 minutes or at least for the end of the workday.

Keep a simple reminder where you cannot avoid seeing it every day.

A note that said “Keep things extremely simple” on the white board I saw many times each day helped me greatly to – over time – minimize my overthinking.

2. Stop swimming in the sea of the most negative voices.

Our happiness is greatly influenced by the people and the other sources around us.

If you swim around in a sea of negative people and information that drag you down into fear, frustration and feeling powerless then that will limit your life.

What to do instead:

Figure out what the biggest time-wasters and energy-drains are among all those things that influence you.

• What 1-2 people drag you and your thoughts down the most?
• What 1-2 other sources like blogs, forums, books, magazines, social media channels and TV-shows have the biggest negative impact?

Write those answers down. Then think about what 1-2 people and 1-2 other sources that lift you up and make you feel happier about yourself and life the most.

Make a decision to spend less time with the 2-4 negative sources and to spend the time you have now freed up with those positive influences you listed.

3. Stop getting stuck in the past or future.

Spending too much time in the past usually leads to going over old mistakes or failures over and over again and to wishing you could go back and do something about them.

And spending too much time thinking about the future usually leads to worries and to building monsters and nightmare scenarios in your mind.

What to do instead:

Spend more of your time in the present moment. You’ll feel lighter, things will feel easier and you’ll be more alert to appreciate the small wonders of everyday life.

Reconnect with what’s happening right now by just sitting down and being still. Then either:

• Just breathe. Spend a couple of minutes on focusing on just your breaths going in and out.
• Only focus on what is going on around you right now. Do it with all your senses. Listen, see, smell and feel what is happening in your little part of the world at this moment.

4. Stop setting a too high bar for happiness.

A common mistake I used to make was to set a too high bar for my own happiness.

And so I usually only felt happy when I achieved something big, when I did something perfectly or when something unexpected and wonderful happened.

You don’t have to wait for those rare occasions to feel happy though.

What to do instead:

Tell yourself this as you get out of bed in morning:

Today I will have a low bar for happiness.

To remember to do this, consider writing it down on a note or on your smart phone so you see it first thing in the morning.

By doing so you’ll take fewer things for granted. Your attention will naturally be more on what is happening in your daily life and you’ll be more grateful for the things there.

Like the food, the weather, hanging out with a friend or a pet for a while, the small gestures of kindness and the small moments that pass by so quickly.

This has at least been my experience with this habit. And it has not decreased my drive to achieve things or to get to done.

Instead it has made daily life lighter to live. And the path to what I want to achieve a happier one to walk on.

5. Stop comparing yourself to other people.

Comparing yourself to other people can easily become a destructive and depressing daily habit.

You compare relationships, cars, careers, bodies and houses and at the end of the day your self-esteem is low and you feel like a failure with negativity buzzing around in your head like a swarm of irritating bees.

What to do instead:

Compare yourself to yourself. Just see:

• How much you have grown.
• How far you have come.
• The progress you have made towards your goals and dreams.

And don’t forget to celebrate the small successes and steps forward too.

This habit will help you to see yourself from a kinder and more helpful perspective where you feel energized as you appreciate the steps you have taken on your journey.

Instead of feeling drained and powerless to keep growing and to keep going for what you want out of life.

6. Stop doing things too fast.

When you go fast pretty much all the time while walking, talking, driving or working then you tend to feel more stressed.

Your focus more easily becomes scattered and it becomes harder to think clearly.

What to do instead:

Slow down. Walk, talk, move, drive and work slower. As you you do that:

• The stress in your body and mind will float away.
• You’ll naturally be more in the moment.
• You’ll enjoy all the smells, sights, sounds and experiences of life even more.

7. Stop pushing away how you deep down feel.

It is one thing to focus on what is positive in life.

But it is another thing to try to push away how you deep down feel about something.

And it usually doesn’t lead to happiness even if you try to turn on a smile and force the positivity.

What to do instead:

Write it or talk it out.

Don’t force the positive thinking. If you have negative feelings or thoughts that pop up again and again then take some time with yourself to think it through.

A pen and paper or a journal on your computer can help you to think more clearly. Or you can talk about it with someone close to you.

Create a small plan.

After you have accepted and processed how you think and feel about this then write down a small plan – maybe just a step or a couple of them – that you can take action on to move yourself out of this situation and into something better.

And after that get going and get the ball rolling by taking the first small and practical step forward.

8. Stop spending too little energy and attention on what truly matters to you.

It is easy to get lost and misspend too much of your day and week.

On things you might just do out of habit or because you feel you should. On busywork or on things that honestly deep down isn’t that important to you.

What to do instead:

Get your priorities in check. Focus on what truly matters for YOU.

Ask yourself: what are the top 4 most important things in my life this year?

Maybe it is your family. Or your hobby and to become a better photographer. Or your health and getting in shape. Or an important project at work or in your own business.

Sit down, really think about it and reduce what matters to just the essentials.

Then take out a pen and a small piece of paper and write down just your top 4 priorities for this year.

Put that note where you cannot avoid seeing it every day. Like in your work space. Or beside your bathroom mirror or on your fridge.

This will help you to keep your focus on the right track every day.

9. Stop waiting for someone else to make you happier.

Don’t make the all too common mistake of waiting for someone else to create the week, month and year you want to have. That usually leads to much waiting and frustrations.

What to do instead:

Be proactive. Get the ball rolling yourself. Take action and take the first small step forward with making the changes you want to make to create the life you want to live.

• Set up a coffee date or an evening at the pub with those most positive people in your life.
• Set the low bar for happiness as you jump or drag yourself out of bed in the morning and go slow today.
• Sit down tonight and write down those four most important things for you this year.

And if it feels difficult and you start to procrastinate then remember that you can always take smaller steps forward.

Do whatever is needed to reduce that mental barrier and to get yourself to begin or back into taking action again.

No matter if you’re leading a team at work, trying to get things done alongside your favorite coworker or simply powering through yourself until the weekend is here.

So in today’s post I want to help out with that by sharing 120 of the most positive, inspirational, funny and motivational quotes for employees.

To give yourself and your team a jolt of new energy, to help you turn a tired or unmotivated day around and to give you a few laughs to help release some stress and tension.

Motivational Quotes for Employees for a Jolt of Energy

“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.”
– Sam Levenson

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”
– Wayne Gretzky

“If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.”
– Seth Godin

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
– Arthur Ashe

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
– Nelson Mandela

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”
– Zig Ziglar

“Don’t wish it were easier. Wish you were better.”
– Jim Rohn

“Believe you can, and you’re halfway there.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
– Winston Churchill

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing grows there.”
– John Assaraf

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
– Mark Twain

“Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.”
– Chris Grosser

“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”
– Muhammad Ali

“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.”
– Michael Jordan

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”
– Napoleon Hill

“Always work hard on something uncomfortably exciting.”
– Larry Page

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”
– Walt Disney

“Don’t sit down and wait for the opportunities to come. Get up and make them.”
– Madam C. J. Walker

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”
– Henry Ford

“Either you run the day, or the day runs you.”
– Jim Rohn

Short and Positive Quotes for Employees, Staff and Success

“Well done is better than well said.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“Work hard in silence, let your success be your noise.”
– Frank Ocean

“The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.”
– Harry Golden

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.”
– Beverly Sills

“The road to success is always under construction.”
– Lily Tomlin

“Quality is not an act; it is a habit.”
– Aristotle

“Greatness begins beyond your comfort zone.”
– Robin Sharma

“Dream big and dare to fail.”
– Norman Vaughan

“Becoming is better than being.”
– Carol Dweck

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.”
– Buddha

“Excellence is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.”
– John W. Gardner

“The future depends on what you do today.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

“The most effective way to do it is to do it.”
– Amelia Earhart

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
– Japanese Proverb

“The expert in anything was once a beginner.”
– Helen Hayes

“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”
– John F. Kennedy

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
– Peter Drucker

“Always deliver more than expected.”
– Larry Page

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”
– Frederick Douglass

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”
– Zig Ziglar

Motivational Teamwork Quotes for Employees from Leaders

“I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.”
– Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Getting the right people and the right chemistry is more important than the right idea.”
– Ed Catmull

“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.”
– Andy Stanley

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”
– Helen Keller

“Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success.”
– Henry Ford

“Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence win championships.”
– Michael Jordan

“It is amazing how much you can accomplish when it doesn’t matter who gets the credit.”
– Harry S. Truman

“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.”
– Ryunosuke Satoro

“The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team.”
– Phil Jackson

“A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.”
– Arnold Glasow

“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.”
– Dwight D. Eisenhower

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
– African Proverb

“A single leaf working alone provides no shade.”
– Chuck Page

“The nice thing about teamwork is that you always have others on your side.”
– Margaret Carty

“Leaders can let you fail and yet not let you be a failure.”
– Stanley McChrystal

“Good leadership requires you to surround yourself with people of diverse perspectives who can disagree with you without fear of retaliation.”
– Doris Kearns Goodwin

“When a team outgrows individual performance and learns team confidence, excellence becomes a reality.”
– Joe Paterno

“A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be.”
– Rosalynn Carter

“Teamwork is so important that it is virtually impossible for you to reach the heights of your capabilities or make the money that you want without becoming very good at it.”
– Brian Tracy

Employee Appreciation Quotes on Rewarding Hard Work

“Appreciate everything your associates do for the business. Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well-timed, sincere words of praise. They’re absolutely free and worth a fortune.”
– Sam Walton

“Employees engage with employers and brands when they’re treated as humans worthy of respect.”
– Meghan M. Biro

“Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don’t keep it a secret.”
– Mary Kay Ash

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought and attended to my answer.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“Everyone talks about building a relationship with your customer. I think you build one with your employees first.”
– Angela Ahrendts

“When people are financially invested, they want a return. When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.”
– Simon Sinek

“When you do something beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun, every morning, is a beautiful spectacle, and yet most of the audience still sleeps.”
– John Lennon

“People may take a job for more money, but they often leave it for more recognition.”
– Bob Nelson

“Always treat your employees exactly as you want them to treat your best customers.”
– Stephen R. Covey

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”
– Vincent van Gogh

“Take time to appreciate employees, and they will reciprocate in a thousand ways.”
– Bob Nelson

“To win in the marketplace, you must first win in the workplace.”
– Doug Conant

“Your employees come first. And if you treat your employees right, guess what? Your customers come back, and that makes your shareholders happy. Start with employees and the rest follows from that.”
– Herb Kelleher

“Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.”
– Fred Allen

“Research indicates that workers have three prime needs: interesting work, recognition for doing a good job, and being let in on things that are going on in the company.”
– Zig Ziglar

“If you don’t create a great, rewarding place for people to work, they won’t do great work.”
– Ari Weinzweig

“Goodness and hard work are rewarded with respect.”
– Luther Campbell

“All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.”
– Martin Luther King Jr.

“Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.”
– Stephen King

“The real competitive advantage in any business is one word only, which is ‘people.'”
– Komil Toume

“Hard work without talent is a shame, but talent without hard work is a tragedy.”
– Robert Half

Inspirational Quotes for Coworkers to Brighten Their Day

“If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.”
– Michele Ruiz

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.”
– Denis Waitley

“A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances instead of your circumstances having power over you.”
– Joyce Meyer

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
– Anne Frank

“Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.”
– Robert Brault

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”
– Helen Keller

“Remember that just because you hit bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there.”
– Robert Downey Jr.

“Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”
– Oprah Winfrey

“Challenges are what make life interesting, and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”
– Joshua J. Marine

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”
– Maya Angelou

“Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
– Voltaire

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.”
– Babe Ruth

“Focus on the journey, not on arriving at a certain destination.”
– Chris Hadfield

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
– Winston Churchill

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”
– Vincent van Gogh

“How you climb a mountain is more important than reaching the top.”
– Yvon Chouinard

“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.”
– H. Jackson Brown Jr.

“The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!”
– Marvin Phillips

“Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.”
– David Ogilvy

“Your most important work is always ahead of you, never behind you.”
– Stephen R. Covey

Funny and Somewhat Motivational Quotes for Employees

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
– Douglas Adams

“I always give 100% at work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.”
– Unknown

“Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.”
– Ray Kroc

“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work, and the other half aren’t so bright.”
– Unknown

“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.”
– Will Rogers

“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
– Jerome K. Jerome

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”
– Edgar Bergen

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.”
– Sarah Brown

“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.”
– Claude McDonald

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.”
– Zig Ziglar

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
– Thomas Edison

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”
– Sam Ewing

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.”
– Joe Girard

“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
– Vidal Sassoon

“Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.”
– Leslie Nielsen

“Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.”
– Doug Larson

“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese

“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.”
– Unknown

“You never become a howling success by just howling.”
– Bob Harrington

“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.”
– Josh Billings

Want more inspiration (and less stress) at work? Then have a look at these motivational teamwork quotes, the short work quotes here and also this one with lots of funny work quotes.

So in today’s post I want to help with that by sharing 120 of the most hilarious sayings by some of the sharpest and funniest minds in history.

These are the most positive, weird, witty and funny quotes by famous people.

I hope you’ll find something here to help you to relax and recharge a bit and that you can share with coworkers and loved ones if they’re having a tough day too.

Funny Quotes From Famous People on Life

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
– Albert Einstein

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
– Steven Wright

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
– Mark Twain

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
– Mae West

“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
– Bob Hope

“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”
– Stephen Hawking

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
– Winston Churchill

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
– Lily Tomlin

“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.”
– Katharine Hepburn

“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
– Will Rogers

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.”
– Isaac Asimov

“I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.”
– Charles Schulz

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
– Earl Wilson

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
– Elbert Hubbard

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
– Robert Frost

“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
– Sir Norman Wisdom

“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
– George Burns

“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'”
– Sydney J. Harris

“Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.”
– Luis Buñuel

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
– Ron White

“When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Quotes From Famous People About Love

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
– Rita Rudner

“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.”
– Socrates

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
– Will Ferrell

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
– Jim Carrey

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
– Groucho Marx

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
– Lily Tomlin

“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”
– H. L. Mencken

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
– Phyllis Diller

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
– Charles M. Schulz

“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.”
– Jackie Mason

“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.”
– Richard Lewis

“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.”
– Mae West

“Here’s to our wives and girlfriends… may they never meet!”
– Groucho Marx

“When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
– Rita Rudner

“We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.”
– Henny Youngman

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

“They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”
– Clint Eastwood

Short and Hilarious Quotes by Celebrities

“I can resist everything except temptation.”
– Oscar Wilde

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”
– Dorothy Parker

“I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me.”
– Marc Maron

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”
– George Carlin

“Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.”
– Golda Meir

“Instant gratification takes too long.”
– Carrie Fisher

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
– Steve Martin

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
– Will Rogers

“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
– Ernest Hemingway

“Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.”
– Ellen DeGeneres

“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
– Groucho Marx

“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”
– Steven Wright

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food.”
– W. C. Fields

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
– Bill Watterson

“If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.”
– Judith Martin

“Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.”
– Tina Fey

“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
– Steven Wright

“Puns are the highest form of literature.”
– Alfred Hitchcock

Weird and Funny Quotes by Celebrities

“You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.”
– Jim Carrey

“I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.”
– Elon Musk

“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”
– Zach Galifianakis

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
– Jack Handey

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles M. Schulz

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
– Groucho Marx

“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
– Mitch Hedberg

“I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.”
– Henny Youngman

“Everyone with telekinetic powers, raise my hand.”
– Emo Philips

“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.”
– Steven Wright

“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
– Mitch Hedberg

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional; the knife had butter on it.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island, what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.'”
– Steven Wright

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
– Groucho Marx

“I’m sure wherever my dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”
– Jack Whitehall

“It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.”
– Harry Hill

“The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.”
– Sid Caesar

“I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.”
– Mitch Hedberg

“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.”
– Arthur C. Clarke

Funny Quotes By Famous People About Work

“It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?”
– Ronald Reagan

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
– George Carlin

“I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
– Jerome K. Jerome

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
– Charles Lamb

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
– Thomas A. Edison

“The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.”
– Scott Adams

“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
– Robert Frost

“A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.”
– Milton Berle

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”
– Oscar Wilde

“No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”
– Groucho Marx

“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”
– Les Dawson

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.”
– Robert Benchley

“I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their job.”
– Samuel Goldwyn

“It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.”
– Ronald Reagan

“Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.”
– Doug Larson

“When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.”
– Rich Hall

“Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil.”
– J. Paul Getty

“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”
– Henry Kissinger

“Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.”
– A. H. Weiler

Motivational and Funny Quotes From Celebrities

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
– Zig Ziglar

“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.”
– Will Rogers

“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
– Thomas Edison

“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”
– Ellen DeGeneres

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.”
– Joe Girard

“A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”
– Denis Waitley

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”
– Dale Carnegie

“The road to success is always under construction.”
– Lily Tomlin

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
– Dalai Lama

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.”
– Reba McEntire

“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.”
– Yogi Berra

“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
– Steven Wright

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
– W. C. Fields

“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.”
– Sarah Brown

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
– Charlie Chaplin

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
– A. A. Milne

“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.”
– Ethel Barrymore

Want more laughs and stress relief? Then have a look at these funny quotes about life, the hilarious work quotes here and also this one with lots of funny teamwork quotes.

Sometimes, if you’ve had a rough or plain bad day, then one of the best ways to lift your mood and feel better and lighter again is to watch a funny movie before bedtime.

But if you’re still at work or school and the evening is far away then today’s post can help you out.

In it I want to share 110 of the most funny movie quotes about life, love, happiness and plenty more.

I hope you’ll find something here to make you laugh, release a bit of stress and remind you of more of your favorite lines from your most often watched movies.

Funny Movie Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

“There are only two things I can’t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch.”
– Michael Caine as Nigel Powers in Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

“Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.”
– Mike Myers as Shrek in Shrek 2 (2004)

“I’m the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.”
– Mark Wahlberg as Dignam in The Departed (2006)

“I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.”
– Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander in Zoolander (2001)

“It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl. Boy loses girl. Girl finds boy. Boy forgets girl. Boy remembers girl. Girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.”
– Leslie Nielsen as Lt. Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun (1988)

“I gotta tell you something. I’m really excited about it. Uh, for the first time today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if you don’t take this Michael McDonald DVD that you’ve been playing for two years straight off, I’m going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain.”
– Paul Rudd as David in The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)

“What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.”
– Josh Mostel as Principal Max Anderson in Billy Madison (1995)

“Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.”
– Lloyd Bridges as Steve McCroskey in Airplane! (1980)

“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”
– Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

“Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.”
– Matthew Broderick as Ferris Bueller in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

“I was married. My husband cheated on me left and right. He made me feel like I was crazy all the time. One day, he tells me it’s my fault he saw other women. So, I picked up a knife and told him it was his fault I was stabbing him. Yeah, I did a little jail time, but it was worth it.”
– Queen Latifah as Liz Bailey in Living Out Loud (1998)

“I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I’m a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do to get a little privacy?”
– Mike Myers as Shrek in Shrek (2001)

“Oh, right, to call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs.”
– Jamie Lee Curtis as Wanda in A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.”
– Rip Torn as Patches O’Houlihan in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)

“A cosmetologist? That’s unbelievable. That’s impressive. Must be tough to handle the weightlessness.”
– Steve Martin as Navin Johnson in The Jerk (1979)

“As a child, I yearned for the mines.”
– Jack Black as Steve in A Minecraft Movie (2025)

“By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.”
– Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

“I’m in a glass case of emotion!”
– Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

“Don’t point that gun at him. He’s an unpaid intern.”
– Bill Murray as Steve Zissou in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

“Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It’s not going to happen!”
– Rachel McAdams as Regina George in Mean Girls (2004)

“It’s not a man purse. It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.”
– Zach Galifianakis as Alan Garner in The Hangover (2009)

“If you are going to come along with us, please refrain from saying things like ‘preach’ or ‘go girl’ or any other colloquialism that you may have looked up in an urban dictionary.”
– Regina Hall as Ryan Pierce in Girls Trip (2017)

“Don’t give me that tone! That sarcastic, contemptuous tone that means you know everything because you’re a man, and I know nothing because I’m a woman.”
– Nathan Lane as Albert in The Birdcage (1996)

“I like your outfit, too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.”
– Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde (2001)

“I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can’t do: Walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take up piano at a late age.”
– Jason Statham as Rick Ford in Spy (2015)

“Look up idiot in the dictionary, you know what you’ll find?” “A picture of me?” “No! The definition of the word idiot, which you f**king are!”
– Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr. as Perry and Harry in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

“Huh. I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.”
– Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Short and Hilarious Movie Quotes

“It’s just a flesh wound.”
– John Cleese as The Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

“Inconceivable!”
– Wallace Shawn as Vizzini in The Princess Bride (1987)

“That escalated quickly.”
– Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

“That still only counts as one!”
– John Rhys-Davies as Gimli in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

“It’s pronounced ‘Fronkensteen.'”
– Gene Wilder as Dr. Frederick Frankenstein in Young Frankenstein (1974)

“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
– John Cleese as French Soldier in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

“I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.”
– Leslie Nielsen as Dr. Rumack in Airplane! (1980)

“Excuse me. I believe you have my stapler.”
– Stephen Root as Milton Waddams in Office Space (1999)

“What is this? A center for ants?”
– Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander in Zoolander (2001)

“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make your ancestors dizzy.”
– Harvey Fierstein as Yao in Mulan (1998)

“He’s so fluffy, I’m gonna die!”
– Elsie Fisher as Agnes in Despicable Me (2010)

“We’re werewolves, not swear-wolves.”
– Rhys Darby as Anton in What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

“When I see five weirdos in togas stabbing a man in the park in full view of a hundred spectators, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.”
– Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun (1988)

“There’s no crying in baseball!”
– Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan in A League of Their Own (1992)

“I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?”
– Robert De Niro as Jack Byrnes in Meet the Parents (2000)

“I’m surrounded by idiots.”
– Jeremy Irons as Scar in The Lion King (1994)

“Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.”
– Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun 33?: The Final Insult (1994)

“Great success!”
– Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat in Borat (2006)

“Big mistake. Big. Huge.”
– Julia Roberts as Vivian in Pretty Woman (1990)

“He slimed me.”
– Bill Murray as Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters (1984)

“I am McLovin!”
– Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Fogell in Superbad (2007)

“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”
– Richard S. Castellano as Clemenza in The Godfather (1972)

“According to the map, we’ve only gone 4 inches.”
– Jeff Daniels as Harry Dunne in Dumb and Dumber (1994)

“I fart in your general direction!”
– John Cleese as French Soldier in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Funny Movie Quotes About Life

“My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
– Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump (1994)

“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room!”
– Peter Sellers as President Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove (1964)

“She thinks I’m a fascist? I don’t control the railways or the flow of commerce!”
– Margot Robbie as Barbie in Barbie (2023)

“That rug really tied the room together, did it not?”
– Jeff Bridges as The Dude in The Big Lebowski (1998)

“Apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?”
– John Cleese as Reg in Life of Brian (1979)

“Here’s the deal. I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning, and I piss excellence.”
– Will Ferrell as Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the f**king customers.”
– Jeff Anderson as Randal Graves in Clerks (1994)

“No, I like to rock n’ roll all night and part of every day. I usually have errands… I can only rock from like 1-3.”
– Paul Rudd as Danny in Role Models (2008)

“Right now, the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction, forensic science, and the latest in technology such as two-way radios and e-mail.”
– Steve Martin as Inspector Jacques Clouseau in The Pink Panther (2006)

“I don’t want to be rude, but may I have a drink? I had three or four before I got here, but they’re beginning to wear off. And you know how that is.”
– Irene Dunne as Lucy Warriner in The Awful Truth (1937)

“When life gives you lemons, just say ‘f**k the lemons,’ and bail.”
– Paul Rudd as Chuck in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

“There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.”
– Goldie Hawn as Elise Elliot in The First Wives Club (1996)

“According to the map, we’ve only gone 4 inches.”
– Jeff Daniels as Harry Dunne in Dumb and Dumber (1994)

“Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!”
– Rosalind Russell as Auntie Mame in Auntie Mame (1958)

“You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!”
– Ben Stiller as Hal L. in Happy Gilmore (1996)

“Tardiness is not something you can do all on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the L.A. city bus driver for taking a chance on an unknown kid. And, last but not least, the wonderful crew of McDonald’s for spending hours making those Egg McMuffins, without which I might never be tardy.”
– Breckin Meyer as Travis in Clueless (1995)

“My father would womanize. He would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.”
– Mike Myers as Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

“Stupid is as stupid does.”
– Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump (1994)

Funny Movie Quotes on Love and Happiness

“Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again.”
– Anjelica Huston as Morticia Addams in The Addams Family (1991)

“She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.”
– Jeff Daniels as Harry Dunne in Dumb and Dumber (1994)

“Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.”
– Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup (1933)

“You read my diary?”
“At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.”
– Kristen Wiig and Rebel Wilson as Annie and Brynn in Bridesmaids (2011)

“I’m a man!”
“Well, nobody’s perfect.”
– Jack Lemmon and Joe E. Brown as Jerry and Osgood in Some Like It Hot (1959)

“I’ll have what she’s having.”
– Estelle Reiner as the Woman in the Diner in When Harry Met Sally… (1989)

“When I’m around you, I kind of feel like I’m on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.”
– Michael Cera as Scott Pilgrim in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

“Babe, look. If this relationship is going to work out between us, I need to feel free to party with a bunch of strangers whenever I feel like it. I will text you.”
– Will Arnett as Batman in The Lego Movie (2014)

“I’m glad he’s single because I’m going to climb that like a tree.”
– Melissa McCarthy as Megan in Bridesmaids (2011)

“You are a human affront to all women, and I am a woman.”
– Meg Ryan as Sally Albright in When Harry Met Sally… (1989)

“Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, and dresses like her mother.”
– Colin Firth as Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

“Is that your gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
– Mae West as Lady Lou in She Done Him Wrong (1933)

“Harry, you might not believe this, but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.”
– Meg Ryan as Sally Albright in When Harry Met Sally… (1989)

“Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind.”
– James Marsden as Kevin in 27 Dresses (2008)

“So, you’re telling me there’s a chance!”
– Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber (1994)

“Some people are worth melting for.”
– Josh Gad as Olaf in Frozen (2013)

“I can’t believe it. I’m in love. I’m in love with a young, handsome, talented duke.”
– Nicole Kidman as Satine in Moulin Rouge! (2001)

“When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends.”
– Billy Crystal as Harry Burns in When Harry Met Sally… (1989)

“If we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I’d go as Robin. That’s how much you mean to me.”
– Will Ferrell as Chazz Michael Michaels in Blades of Glory (2007)

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?”
– Dustin Hoffman as Benjamin Braddock in The Graduate (1967)

“I lost my virginity in what I thought was a park but… it turned out to be a graveyard, and now the ghost spirits live inside my eggs waiting to be reborn.”
– Billie Lourd as Gigi in Booksmart (2019)

“I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”
– Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford in 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

“Snap out of it!”
– Cher as Loretta Castorini in Moonstruck (1987)

“There is no way I’m kissing a frog and eating a bug in the same day.”
– Anika Noni Rose as Princess Tiana in The Princess and the Frog (2009)

Funny Christmas Movie Quotes

“Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it. 4:00, wallow in self-pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, Jazzercise; 6:30, dinner with me – I can’t cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing. I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness.”
– Jim Carrey as the Grinch in How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

“You sit on a throne of lies.”
– Will Ferrell as Buddy in Elf (2003)

“Well, I don’t know what to say, except that it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”
– Beverly D’Angelo as Audrey Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

“You stink. You smell like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa.”
– Will Ferrell as Buddy in Elf (2003)

“Keep the change, ya filthy animal.”
– Ralph Foody as Johnny in Home Alone (1990)

“Does it sound like I’m ordering a pizza?”
– Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard (1988)

“There are children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads. They’re busy building toys and absolutely no one’s dead.”
– Chris Sarandon as Jack Skellington in The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

“Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.”
– Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

“I am a cotton-headed ninny-muggins!”
– Will Ferrell as Buddy in Elf (2003)

“Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”
– Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”
– Jeff Gillen as Santa Claus in A Christmas Story (1983)

“Honey, do you honestly think I would check thousands of tiny little lights if I wasn’t sure the extension cord was plugged in?”
– Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

“Call me elf one more time.”
– Peter Dinklage as Miles Finch in Elf (2003)

“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?”
– Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

“I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass.”
– Devin Ratray as Buzz McCallister in Home Alone (1990)

“It’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”
– Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

“Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.”
– Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard (1988)

Want more laughs to help you release stress? Then check out these hilarious work quotes, the funny quotes on life here and also this one with plenty of funny love quotes.

And the worse ones will likely make each week stressful or frustrating in some way.

So to help you to release a bit of stress about that I’d like to share 31 of the funniest boss quotes.

I hope you and your coworkers will find something here to make you laugh, something fun for Boss’s day and something to lighten the mood for a bit as you bond over your boss’s latest ideas and solutions.

Funny Boss Quotes

“No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”
– Groucho Marx

“Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.”
– Doug Larson

“Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free.”
– Patrick Murray

“When my boss says ‘whenever you get a chance,’ he means right now.
– Sandra Shea

“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
– Robert Frost

“I used to work at McDonald’s, making minimum wage. You know what that means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey, if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.'”
– Chris Rock

“If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.”
– David Brent (from the TV-show The Office)

“If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.”
– Cannon’s Law

“My boss keeps saying we’re like a family. Unfortunately I can’t keep my contact with him to only a few days around major holidays.”
– Jim Harper

“Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?”
– Homer Simpson

Short and Funny Boss Quotes

“A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.”
– Michael Winner

“There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.”
– Unknown

“I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.”
– Ashleigh Brilliant

“When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.”
– Unknown

“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.”
– Earl Nightingale

“I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.”
– Unknown

“There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.”
– Peter Drucker

“Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.”
– Unknown

“The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.”
– Unknown

Relatable and Hilarious Boss Quotes and Sayings

“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.”
– Peter Drucker

“My boss told me to think outside the box. Then he also told me to do it quickly and that the budget was very limited this year.”
– Sam Williams

“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”
– Winston Churchill

“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
– Unknown

“Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.”
– Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.”
– Unknown

“Nothing makes you work faster than hearing your boss’s footsteps while you have seven tabs open and none of them are about work.”
– Sandra Shea

“The main difference between a boss and the Pope is that the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.”
– Unknown

“I finally got a raise. 2% in pay and 20% in workload.”
– Jody Jepson

“As soon as you get a cup of hot coffee, your boss will assign you a task that lasts just long enough for your coffee to go cold.”
– Unknown

“Deadlines are sacred to my boss, unless they’re his deadlines.”
– Steve Jones

“My boss insists on having a two-hour meeting to discuss why we need to be more productive.”
– Unknown

Want more fun quotes about work? Then have a look at these funny teamwork quotes, the hilarious work quotes here and also this one with lots of short and funny work quotes. 

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
Lao Tzu

Today I’d like to focus on a negative habit that creates insecurity within, erodes self-esteem and can make you feel quite unhappy with your own life.

It’s something that has sprung up as we have moved a part of our lives on to the internet and social media.

And that habit is to compare yourself and your life to other people’s highlight reels.

What do I mean by that?

That it’s so easy to start comparing your life to the lives of friends, old classmates or celebrities of all sizes as you each day see how perfect their homes, kids, love lives are and how filled their lives are with wonderful moments.

But is that their whole lives that is shared on Facebook and Instagram?

Usually not.

It’s just the highlight reel of that person’s life. The positive moments.

And it’s natural thing really, to want to share such moments or days with your friends or followers.

Now, for some people this may develop into something destructive.

Into a way of creating a more perfect image of one’s life to get that hit of instant gratification as people add positivity via comments, likes and upvotes.

But everyone has problems at times.

They fail. Get sick. Have flaws, bad days or negative habits.

No matter who you are or what you look like or do.

I have those issues too. Just like anyone else.

I still stumble and fall on some days. Doubt myself or am pessimistic from time to time. That’s human.

So don’t strive for being perfect or measuring yourself against someone else’s highlight reel.

Here are three healthier steps you can take instead:

Step 1: Compare in a smarter way. 

There will always be people who have more or nicer things than you.

Or are better than you at something. No matter what you do.

So if you want to compare then do it in a way that won’t make you feel envious and inferior.

Do it by comparing yourself to yourself. See how far you have come. Look back at the obstacles you have overcome, what you have learned and how you have grown.

Step 2: Spend your energy and time on what matters the most. 

Step by step spend the hours in your day and week on building habits that will make you a better person and a happier one too.

For example, aim at being optimistic 70% of the time if you have been it maybe 50% in the past month.

Or spend more of your weekly free time on your favorite hobby or on sharpening a valuable skill. 

Step 3: Let go of what drags you down. 

If necessary, unsubscribe or remove social media accounts from your feed if you feel they are dragging you down and lowering your self-esteem. Even if those things might also be entertaining right now.

Life isn’t just a highlight reel no matter who shares it.

So look beyond that, remember that everyone is human and stop comparing yourself to that limited view of someone.

In the long run you’ll be happy that you did.