A day to sleep in a bit. To slow down. To relax and have fun with family and friends.

And to set you up for a great weekend I’d like to help out with 100 of the most witty, positive and funny Saturday quotes.

I hope you’ll find something here to make you and your loved ones laugh and to make this a happy, recharging and fun day.

Funny Saturday Morning Quotes to Start Your Day Just Right

“Saturday mornings, I’ve learned, are a great opportunity for kids to sneak into your bed, fall back asleep, and kick you in the face.”
– Dan Pearce

“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
– Glen Cook

“I like my coffee black and my mornings bright.”
– Teri Guillemets

“Sleeping in on a Saturday always feels like a little bit of heaven.”
– Carla Kringer

“On a lazy Saturday morning when you’re lying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, there is a space where fantasy and reality become one.”
– Lynn Johnston

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
– Dean Martin

“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside – remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”
– Charles Bukowski

“I’m not an early bird at all. Ideally, on Saturday morning I’d allow myself a lovely lie-in. 10:45 would be just right.”
– Shilpa Shetty

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
– Robert Frost

“Today is Saturday, which means that today I will be multi-slacking instead of multi-tasking.”
– Unknown

“Saturday morning, you knew what was cool by what was on ‘Soul Train.'”
– Nick Cannon

“Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?”
– Nitya Prakash

“Your body tells you what it needs, and if you sleep past your alarm on a Saturday morning, it’s probably because you need the sleep.”
– Sophia Bush

“On Saturday morning, I like to get up early and go out – TV is banned!”
– Debra Stephenson

“His insomnia was so bad that he could not sleep during office hours.”
– Arthur Baer

“Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day.”
– Phil Dunphy

“I got caught up in 35 years of Saturday nights. Every night was like a party night to me. As a young man, you can do that; it’s OK to be an idiot. But I woke up one day, and I realized that 35 years had gone by.”
– Steve Lukather

“I love Saturday morning cartoons. What do you like to do on a Saturday morning?”
– Wayne Brady

“Most people are in a factory from nine till five. Their job may be to turn out 263 little circles. At the end of the week they’re three short and somebody has a go at them. On Saturday afternoons they deserve something to go and shout about.”
– Rodney Marsh

“It’s a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning.”
– Jimmy Buffett

Funny Saturday Quotes for Work

“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.”
– Claude McDonald

“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'”
– Don Marquis

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”
– Drew Carey

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
– Bill Gates

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
– George Carlin

“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
– Jerome K. Jerome

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”
– Edgar Bergen

“Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.”
– Mike Birbiglia

“No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”
– Groucho Marx

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
– Charles Lamb

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”
– Leslie Nielsen

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
– Robert Frost

“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
– John Gotti

“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.”
– Peter Drucker

“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.”
– Dwight D. Eisenhower

“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying.”
– Rita Rudner

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”
– Bertrand Russell

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
– Thomas Edison

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
– Douglas Adams

Short and Hilarious Saturday Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

“I told myself that I was going to live the rest of my life as if it were Saturday.”
– Chip Gaines

“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.”
– Ogden Nash

“I love Saturdays because it’s the only day of the week when you can do absolutely nothing and feel absolutely wonderful about it.”
– Sarah Kelly

“Saturday night is when you want to do what you want to do and not what you have to do.”
– Susan Orlean

“The dog doesn’t know the difference between Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, so I have to walk the dog early those days too.”
– Donna Shalala

“Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.”
– Bill Watterson

“The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.”
– Chuck Palahniuk

“On the sixth day, God created man, the sort of result you often get when you go in to work on a Saturday.”
– Robert Brault

“Different cocktails for different Saturday nights.”
– Drew Barrymore

“There were many reasons to regard Saturday as the second best day after Friday.”
– R. Phillip Ritter

“I wish that every day was Saturday and every month was October.”
– Charmaine J. Forde

“My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV, and eating.”
– Alan King

“Life is a wretched gray Saturday, but it has to be lived through.”
– Anthony Burgess

“The secret to a great Saturday is low expectations and high snack availability.”
– Sandra Shea

“I learned that the hardest party to pull off successfully is Saturday night dinner.”
– Ina Garten

“Without Saturday, Sunday would just be another day of the week.”
– Anthony T. Hincks

“I love Saturday nights with my best friend and a big bowl of pasta, wanting a good scare, something that will say, ‘Listen, your life is not as bad as this. Your life can be so much worse.'”
– Vera Farmiga

“Oh, my sweet Saturday, I have been waiting for you for six long days.”
– Charmaine J. Forde

“The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.”
– George Carlin

“One of my most exciting Saturday nights was just me and a bottle of wine and a crochet book.”
– Jessica Pare

“I think Saturday may be Latin for stay in pajamas til noon then eventually motivate yourself to shower and get ready for bed that night.”
– Bart Millard

“When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long.”
– Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“You know what I want to do? Wake up one weekend and not have to go anywhere and do nothing.”
– Derek Jeter

“I take my daughter to the San Mateo farmers market every Saturday morning, and despite repeated advice to the contrary, I usually do it on an empty stomach. Bad mistake.”
– J. Kenji Lopez-Alt

“There is nothing more I love more than being in a throw-down on a Saturday night.”
– Donald Cerrone

“Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson

“I still do love monsters. And when I was a kid, they were really important to me. I couldn’t wait for Saturday night.”
– Emil Ferris

“Saturday night still does have a distinct personality and effect on most people. People still act differently on a Saturday night for no reason other than it’s Saturday night.”
– Susan Orlean

“Saturday is the only day where ‘I’ll do it later’ is a perfectly acceptable choice.”
– Sandra Shea

Less Funny and More Inspirational Saturday Quotes

“Saturday is the mightiest day of the week. It’s unshakably, overwhelmingly superior. Not only is it a day off of school, the following day is also a day off, like some kind of Super Saiyan bargain sale.”
– Wataru Watari

“I’ve taken Saturdays to be the day I pull back completely. I do things that are more creative, and I’ve actually found that helps me when I get back into work to be more thoughtful.”
– Padmasree Warrior

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”
– John Lubbock

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
– Sydney J. Harris

“Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.”
– Maya Angelou

“It’s not that we spend five days looking forward to just two. It’s that most people do what they enjoy most in those two days. Imagine living a life where every day are your Saturdays and Sundays. Make every day your weekend. Make every day a play-day.”
– James A. Murphy

“There was nothing like a Saturday – unless it was the Saturday leading up to the last week of school and into summer vacation. That of course was all the Saturdays of your life rolled into one big shiny ball.”
– Nora Roberts

“My work is like my vacation, so in a way every day is like Saturday.”
– Ludacris

“Happy Saturday! When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength.”
– Tecumseh

“Dreams can come true, but there is a secret. They’re realized through the magic of persistence, determination, commitment, passion, practice, focus and hard work. They happen a step at a time, manifested over years, not weeks.”
– Elbert Hubbard

“Persistence is a quality you need not only on Saturday but every day of the week! Doing our best to make a difference is how we instill our lives with meaning.”
– Ernie J Zelinski

“Always take some of the play, fun, freedom and wonder of the weekend into your week and your work.”
– Rasheed Ogunlaru

“Saturday is a day for the spa. Relax, indulge, enjoy, and love yourself, too.”
– Ana Monnar

“Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it.”
– Brian Tracy

“It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real greats make you feel that you, too, can be great.”
– Mark Twain

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.”
– Elbert Hubbard

Funny Saturday Quotes for a Less Stressful Week Ahead

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.”
– Douglas Adams

“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.”
– Albert Einstein

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.”
– Mark Twain

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”
– Sam Ewing

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.”
– Zig Ziglar

“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work, and the other half aren’t so bright.”
– Unknown

“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.'”
– Dave Barry

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
– Lily Tomlin

“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.”
– Will Rogers

“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.”
– Zig Ziglar

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.”
– Groucho Marx

“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.”
– Sarah Brown

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.”
– Joe Girard

Want more laughs and fun sayings? Then have a look at these funny Sunday quotes, the hilarious work quotes here and also this one lots of funny Monday quotes.

You’ve been bored, tired, irritated and gotten stuff done. You’ve been grinding. But soon the weekend will be here.

So to help you to keep going until it’s finally here I’d like to share 101 of the most witty, positive and funny Thursday quotes.

I hope you’ll find something here to make you laugh, something to share with colleagues and loved ones to help them release some pressure and to finish out this work week in a positive way.

Funny Thursday Quotes for Work and School

“This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”
– Douglas Adams

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”
– Edgar Bergen

“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.'”
– Dave Barry

“If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.”
– Noel Coward

“Nothing screws up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.”
– Nicci French

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
– Robert Frost

“I always give 100% at work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.”
– Unknown

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”
– Drew Carey

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
– Bill Gates

“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
– John Gotti

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
– George Carlin

“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
– Jerome K. Jerome

“No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”
– Groucho Marx

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
– Charles Lamb

“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.”
– Claude McDonald

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
– Robert Frost

“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.”
– Unknown

“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.”
– Peter Drucker

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”
– Robert Orben

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
– Douglas Adams

“I don’t trust anyone who is productive on a Thursday afternoon.”
– Sandra Shea

“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.”
– Stanley J. Randall

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.”
– Douglas Adams

“Thursday is the awkward and often zoned out middle child between Wednesday’s existential crisis and Friday’s jubilant optimism.”
– Sarah Kelly

Funny Good Morning Thursday Quotes to Get Your Day Started Right

“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
– Glen Cook

“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”
– Tony Smite

“Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.”
– Nanea Hoffman

“My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door.”
– Willie Geist

“I hate mornings, they start so early.”
– Janet Evanovich

“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.”
– Jim Davis

“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.”
– James Marsden

“What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they have been up for three hours and already conquered France.”
– Timur Vermes

“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”
– Lewis Black

“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
– Kristen Chandler

“I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.”
– Jarod Kintz

“The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.”
– Jean Kerr

“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.”
– David Lynch

“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
– Punit Ghadge

“Love is blind. Especially in the morning, because I can’t see a damn thing before having coffee.”
– Aleksandra Ninkovic

“I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
– James Lileks

“Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.”
– Rachel Caine

“Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield.”
– Catherynne Valente

“There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, ‘Good morning, God,’ and the other is to say, ‘Good God, morning!'”
– Fulton J. Sheen

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
– Dorothy Parker

Hilarious Thursday Quotes on Daily Life and Struggles

“Thursday is perhaps the worst day of the week. It’s nothing in itself; it just reminds you that the week has been going on too long.”
– Nicci French

“Thursdays are just wannabes. They wannabe Friday but they’re not.”
– Jack Sanders

“Thursday? Oh no, it can’t be! It’s too gruesome.”
– Audrey Hepburn

“Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.”
– Jef Raskin

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.”
– Mark Twain

“And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.”
– Spike Milligan

“I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.”
– Howie Mandel

“To some, it’s Hump Day. To us, it’s Wednesday getting its ass kicked and Thursday just asking Friday to switch places.”
– Dwayne Johnson

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.”
– Zig Ziglar

“If 40 is the new 30, and 50 is the new 40, why can’t Thursday be the new Friday?”
– Unknown

“After a year’s research, one realizes that it could have been done in a week.”
– William Henry Bragg

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!”
– Unknown

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.”
– Groucho Marx

“We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it’s Tuesday I’ll make an exception.”
– Chelsea Handler

“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
– Steven Wright

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
– Lily Tomlin

“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.”
– Zig Ziglar

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
– Thomas Edison

“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.”
– Charlie McCarthy

“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
– Homer Simpson

Short and Funny Thursday Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

“It’s Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.”
– Demetri Martin

“Be happy. It really annoys negative people.”
– Ricky Gervais

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.”
– Sarah Brown

“Dear Thursday, are you sure you’re not Friday? Because I could really go for it being Friday today!”
– Unknown

“Thursday comes, and the week’s gone.”
– George Herbert

“I wish you a tolerable Thursday. That’s all any of us can hope for.”
– April Winchell

“Thursday, I accidentally spent some of my own money.”
– Bill Vaughan

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
– Charlie Chaplin

“Thursday is full of timeless thoughts, and marshmallow dreams.”
– Anthony T. Hincks

“Thursday’s such a crazy, lazy day. Thursday has its own peculiar way of saying: ‘Hey.'”
– Harry Nilsson

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”
– Leslie Nielsen

“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'”
– Don Marquis

“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”
– Phyllis Diller

“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying.”
– Rita Rudner

“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.”
– Don Herold

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
– Groucho Marx

“If I don’t die by Thursday, I’ll be roaring Friday night.”
– Jimmy Buffett

Less Funny and a Bit More Motivational Thursday Quotes

“Start your Thursday with an attitude of optimism. It’s going to be a good day!”
– Kate Summers

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you.”
– Walt Whitman

“Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”
– Conrad Hilton

“Either you run the day or the day runs you.”
– Jim Rohn

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.”
– JP Morgan

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
– Wayne Gretzky

“Don’t count the days. Make the days count.”
– Muhammad Ali

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
– Nelson Mandela

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”
– Milton Berle

“Thursday is one day closer to my expectation that everything I have done through the week culminates in progress.”
– Byron Pulsifer

“Opportunities don’t just happen, you create them.”
– Chris Grosser

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
– Arthur Ashe

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“You’re off to great places, today is your day. Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way.”
– Dr. Seuss

“Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.”
– Desmond Tutu

“A little progress every day adds up to big results.”
– Satya Nani

“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.”
– Sean Patrick Flanery

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
– Peter Drucker

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
– Japanese Proverb

Want more laughs and motivation? Then check out these funny Friday quotes, the motivational Thursday quotes here and also this one with lots of thankful Thursday quotes.

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”
Leonardo Da Vinci

One of the biggest and most common problems with improving your life or the success you want out of it is that you may not take consistent action over a longer time period.

Now, consistency isn’t the sexiest or most exciting word.

But it is, coupled with time, what will give you real results in your life.

Sticking with the program and doing something consistently – and not just when you feel inspired or something like that – is very, very powerful.

This is something I have struggled with a lot in the past. And on some days I still do.

But over the years I have found a few things that really help me with this.

1. When you’re taking action, focus only on the process.

I use this one, for example, when I do my workouts and when I write. I don’t take responsibility for the results in my mind.

I take responsibility for showing up and doing my workout/the writing. That’s it.

The results come anyway from that consistent action. And this makes it easier for me to take this action because:

• I know that is all I need to focus on. And so my energy and attention is only focused in one direction and I do a better job.
• I feel a lot less pressure on myself. And so I’m more relaxed and prone to continue compared to if I stare myself blind on the potential results that never come as quickly as I may want and if I’m on an emotional roller coaster from day to day.

2. Remember why you are taking action.

Find your top priorities and reasons for why you are doing what you are doing.

It could be to provide for your family, to save up for traveling, to get the job you really want or to improve your self-confidence. Or something else.

To not lose track of why you are taking action and to stay focused:

• Write down your most important reasons. Take a few minutes, sit down with paper and a pen and write down the top 1-3 reasons for why you take action and want to keep doing that in your life right now.
• Put that note where you can see it every day. Like for example in your workspace or near your bed so that you see it every morning when you wake up.

3. Reminder: you don’t want to hurt yourself.

When you disappoint yourself and don’t think and do as you really deep down want to you hurt yourself by lowering your self-esteem.

Whatever you do during your day sends signals back to yourself about what kind of person you are. Do the right thing like being effective, kind, going to the gym or simply rest and you feel good.

Get lazy, negative or just plain mean and you tend to feel worse after a while.

You don’t get away, there is no escaping yourself. And there is always a price to pay.

4. Take smaller steps on the days when the big ones seem too daunting.

On some days getting started with any of the the most important tasks may seem daunting. And so you start to procrastinate.

When that happens, one thing that has worked for me is to be kind.

To nudge myself forward instead of beating myself up.

So at such times I take:

• A small step. I may make a deal with myself to just work for 5 minutes on a piece of a bigger and more difficult task.
• An even smaller step. If that small step feels like too much and I start to procrastinate I make a deal with myself for 1 or 2 minutes of work.

Sometimes that results in a few dents put into a big task, a couple of smaller tasks being completed and many breaks being taken throughout the day.

And sometimes the easy start or restart to the day is all I need to get going again and to have a good and very productive time before the evening arrives.

Either way, I move forward instead of standing still.

5. Celebrate what you did today.

When you appreciate your good work you feel even better about your life and yourself.

And over time taking more action with less inner resistance becomes possible and you associate action with more positive emotions than you may at this time.

So…

• Take two minutes at the end of the day to think about what you can appreciate about what you did today. Or write down a couple of self-appreciative things in your journal.
• Have a tasty treat or a bigger celebration.
• Tell someone how nice something turned out, how you learned a good lesson or how proud you are over something important you did today.

Reward yourself for the things you did right today to strengthen your action taking habit.

And remember to be kind to yourself for the things you may have missed or not gotten done.

No point in trying to beat yourself up. No point in trying to be perfect.

See what you can learn from it and perhaps try another solution tomorrow and see if that works better.

Not just when it came to science and physics though as he had a lot of concise wisdom to share about life, happiness and success too.

So in today’s post I’d like to share 101 of the most inspirational, funny and motivational Albert Einstein quotes.

I hope you’ll find something here that’ll make you think and help you to move forward towards your goals and dreams.

Inspirational Albert Einstein Quotes

“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

“We cannot get to where we dream of being tomorrow unless we change our thinking today.”

“I’d rather be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right.”

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.”

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.”

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”

“The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.”

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”

“Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.”

“I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.”

“Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.”

“The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been truth, goodness, and beauty.”

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

“I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.”

“You never fail until you stop trying.”

“What is right is not always popular, and what is popular is not always right.”

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.”

“Where the world ceases to be the scene of our personal hopes and wishes, where we face it as free beings admiring, asking, observing, there we enter the realm of art and science.”

Albert Einstein Quotes About Life

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

“A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?”

“Live with purpose. Don’t let people or things around you get you down.”

“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.”

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”

“A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.”

“A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.”

“I lived in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.”

“A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.”

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

“The distinction between the past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”

“A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labours of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I received and am still receiving.”

“I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.”

“Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.”

“The man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life.”

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”

“I am by heritage a Jew, by citizenship a Swiss, and by makeup a human being, and only a human being, without any special attachment to any state or national entity whatsoever.”

“Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.”

“The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there’s no risk of accident for someone who’s dead.”

“Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.”

“Life is a preparation for the future; and the best preparation for the future is to live as if there were none.”

Funny Albert Einstein Quotes

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”

“An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.”

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”

“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.”

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

“The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.”

“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.”

“If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?”

“You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.”

“Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.”

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”

“We all know that light travels faster than sound. That’s why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

“Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.”

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what then, is an empty desk?”

Albert Einstein Quotes on Success

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”

“A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”

“Success comes from curiosity, concentration, perseverance and self-criticism.”

“Failure is success in progress.”

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

“If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.”

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.”

“The only way to escape the corruptible effect of praise is to go on working.”

“The value of achievement lies in the achieving.”

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”

“Bureaucracy is the death of all sound work.”

“Look around at how people want to get more out of life than they put in. A man of value will give more than he receives.”

“The most important motive for work in school and in life is pleasure in work, pleasure in its result and the knowledge of the value of the result to the community.”

“The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.”

“The ordinary objects of human endeavour – property, outward success, luxury – have always seemed to me contemptible.”

“I most seriously believe that one does people the best service by giving them some elevating work to do and thus indirectly elevating them.”

“Failure and deprivation are the best educators and purifiers.”

“The idle man does not know what it is to enjoy rest.”

“Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age.”

“You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.”

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

“Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.”

Albert Einstein Quotes on Intelligence, Knowledge and Imagination

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”

“Don’t listen to the person who has the answers; listen to the person who has the questions.”

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.”

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.”

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”

“Creativity is intelligence having fun.”

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”

“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.”

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.”

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius, and a lot of courage, to move in the opposite direction.”

“The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.”

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”

“The only source of knowledge is experience.”

“Thinking is hard work; that’s why so few do it.”

“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.”

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Want more timeless wisdom and inspiration? Then have a look at the best Dolly Parton quotes, these Marcus Aurelius quotes and also this one with many Maya Angelou quotes.

Or just plain dumb, weird or boring.

If any of those things are the case for you today then this post will help you out.

In it I want to share 120 of the most witty, unhinged, absurd and crazy funny quotes.

I hope you’ll find something here to make you laugh, release a bit of stress and help you to regain some of your sanity in this sometimes crazy world of ours.

Funny Crazy Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
– Douglas Adams

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.”
– Emo Philips

“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
– Will Rogers

“I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.”
– Damien Fahey

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
– Jack Handey

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
– Dave Barry

“Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”
– George Carlin

“It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.”
– Navjot Singh Sidhu

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
– Jerry Seinfeld

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
– Earl Wilson

“Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”
– Jerry Seinfeld

“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
– Betty White

“Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”
– Jay Leno

“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.”
– Bob Hope

“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.”
– Tina Fey

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
– Phyllis Diller

“They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”
– Clint Eastwood

“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.”
– Bill Murray

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
– Michael Scott (from the TV-show The Office)

“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”
– Dave Barry

“If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.”
– Clark Griswold (from the movie National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation)

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”
– Erma Bombeck

Funny Crazy Quotes That Will Make You Think

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”
– Albert Einstein

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
– Elbert Hubbard

“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”
– Stephen Hawking

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
– Charles Bukowski

“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”
– Tom Clancy

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
– Rita Mae Brown

“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”
– Groucho Marx

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
– George Carlin

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
– Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

“I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.”
– Stephen Hawking

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
– Thomas A. Edison

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”
– Philip K. Dick

“All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.”
– Alan Moore

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
– Terry Pratchett

“Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.”
– Christopher Hitchens

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”
– Albert Einstein

“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”
– George Carlin

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”
– Horace Walpole

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
– Lily Tomlin

“A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”
– Albert Einstein

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.”
– Nassim Nicholas Taleb

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
– Douglas Adams

“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn’t understood.”
– Wei Hui

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
– Blaise Pascal

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
– Thomas Edison

“There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
– Oscar Levant

“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.”
– Edgar Allan Poe

Short, Funny and Crazy Quotes

“Don’t Panic.”
– Douglas Adams

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
– Yogi Berra

“Nothing is real.”
– John Lennon

“Buy the ticket, take the ride.”
– Hunter S. Thompson

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
– Steven Wright

“I don’t do drugs. I am drugs.”
– Salvador Dalí

“Born to lose. Live to win.”
– Lemmy Kilmister

“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
– Mitch Hedberg

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
– Warren Zevon

“Too weird to live, too rare to die!”
– Hunter S. Thompson

“It ain’t over till it’s over.”
– Yogi Berra

“Go ahead, make my day.”
– Clint Eastwood

“Trust me. I’m a genius.”
– Eoin Colfer

“Sane is boring.”
– R.A. Salvatore

“When nothing is going right, go left.”
– Unknown

“I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me.”
– Marc Maron

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
– Oscar Wilde

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
– Charlie Chaplin

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
– Will Rogers

“I am not strange. I am just not normal.”
– Salvador Dalí

“Music is my religion.”
– Jimi Hendrix

“So long, and thanks for all the fish.”
– Douglas Adams

“Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.”
– Tina Fey

“I can resist everything except temptation.”
– Oscar Wilde

“You can’t fix stupid.”
– Ron White

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
– George Carlin

“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.”
– Katharine Hepburn

“Instant gratification takes too long.”
– Carrie Fisher

“I’m addicted to placebos.”
– Steven Wright

“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
– Steven Wright

Weird and Witty Quotes and Sayings

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?”
– Lewis Carroll

“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”
– Bryan White

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”
– Jack Kerouac

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
– Miles Kington

“There is only one difference between a madman and myself. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.”
– Salvador Dalí

“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.”
– Frank Zappa

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
– Mark Twain

“I think it would be great to be born on Earth and to die on Mars. Just hopefully not at the point of impact.”
– Elon Musk

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
– Douglas Adams

“Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.”
– Bill Murray

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
– A. A. Milne

“Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.”
– Dave Barry

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
– Bill Watterson

“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
– Mitch Hedberg

“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”
– Steven Wright

“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
– Terry Pratchett

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
– W. C. Fields

Hilarious and Crazy Quotes

“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
– Groucho Marx

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”
– George Burns

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
– Jim Carrey

“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
– Tommy Cooper

“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
– Sir Norman Wisdom

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. They won’t expect it back.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.”
– Arthur C. Clarke

“I never forget a face – but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
– Groucho Marx

“Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?”
– John Barrymore

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
– Will Ferrell

“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.”
– Sam Ewing

“I’m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.”
– Cheshire Cat (from the book Alice in Wonderland)

“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.'”
– Steven Wright

“I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.”
– Samuel Goldwyn

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
– Dalai Lama

“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
– Harry S. Truman

Want more laughs? Then check out these hilarious quotes about life, the funny quotes about love here and also these hilarious work quotes.

They cut through the noise. Make us stop and think. And focus on what truly matters to us.

So in today’s post I want to focus on such sayings that have lived on and people keep quoting year after year.

This is 130 of the most famous quotes of all time on life, love, success, happiness and plenty more from the greatest minds, artists, leaders and dreamers who have walked this Earth.

The Most Famous Quotes of All Time About Life

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
– Mae West

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”
– Soren Kierkegaard

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
– Anaïs Nin

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
– Confucius

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
– Lao Tzu

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”
– Helen Keller

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
– Robert Frost

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”
– Allen Saunders

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
– Socrates

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“There is nothing permanent except change.”
– Heraclitus

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.”
– Buddha

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
– Viktor E. Frankl

“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
– James Baldwin

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.”
– Simone de Beauvoir

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”
– Aldous Huxley

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
– Mark Twain

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
– Buddha

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.”
– Helen Keller

The Most Famous Short Quotes of All Time

“I think, therefore I am.”
– René Descartes

“I came, I saw, I conquered.”
– Julius Caesar

“To be, or not to be, that is the question.”
– William Shakespeare

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

“Stay hungry, stay foolish.”
– Steve Jobs

“Keep calm and carry on.”
– Winston Churchill

“Not all those who wander are lost.”
– J.R.R. Tolkien

“Well done is better than well said.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”
– Leonardo da Vinci

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
– Nelson Mandela

“Where there is love there is life.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.”
– Oprah Winfrey

“The root of suffering is attachment.”
– Buddha

“Peace begins with a smile.”
– Mother Teresa

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”
– Confucius

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.”
– Plutarch

“Learning never exhausts the mind.”
– Leonardo da Vinci

“Genius is eternal patience.”
– Michelangelo

“Do all things with love.”
– Og Mandino

The Most Famous Quotes of All Time on Love

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
– Martin Luther King Jr.

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
– Aristotle

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
– A.A. Milne

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”
– Ingrid Bergman

“A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.”
– Leo Buscaglia

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”
– Judy Garland

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else.”
– John Keats

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.”
– Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“Love has no age, no limit, and no death.”
– John Galsworthy

“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”
– George Sand

“You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.”
– Albert Einstein

“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.”
– Loretta Young

“Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.”
– Khalil Gibran

“Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.”
– Karl A. Menninger

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”
– William Shakespeare

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”
– Mother Teresa

“Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.”
– Albert Camus

“Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.”
– Euripides

“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”
– Thomas Aquinas

“You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.”
– Desmond Tutu

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
– Stephen Chbosky

The Most Funny Famous Quotes of All Time

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
– Albert Einstein

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
– Groucho Marx

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
– Oscar Wilde

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
– Kurt Vonnegut

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
– Michael Caine

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball

“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
– William Shakespeare

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
– Phyllis Diller

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.”
– W.C. Fields

“So many books, so little time.”
– Frank Zappa

“In America, there are two classes of travel – first class and with children.”
– Robert Benchley

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
– Jim Carrey

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
– Dorothy Parker

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.”
– Jack Handey

“Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.”
– Leslie Nielsen

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.”
– Rod Stewart

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”
– Fran Lebowitz

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
– Margaret Mead

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
– Steven Wright

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.”
– Voltaire

The Most Famous Quotes of All Time About Success

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
– Samuel Beckett

“If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.”
– Isaac Newton

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”
– Michael Jordan

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”
– Wayne Gretzky

“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.”
– Neil Armstrong

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”
– Walt Disney

“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”
– John F. Kennedy

“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”
– Confucius

“It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.”
– Vince Lombardi

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
– Thomas A. Edison

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
– Nelson Mandela

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”
– Henry Ford

“Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.”
– John F. Kennedy

“The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.”
– Bruce Lee

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”
– Albert Einstein

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
– Mark Twain

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”
– Milton Berle

“Winners never quit, and quitters never win.”
– Vince Lombardi

“The best way to predict your future is to create it.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.”
– Thomas A. Edison

“But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”
– Ernest Hemingway

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.”
– Amelia Earhart

The Most Famous Quotes of All Time on Happiness

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
– Marcel Proust

“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”
– Dr. Seuss

“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”
– Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”
– Maya Angelou

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
– 14th Dalai Lama

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
– Aesop

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.”
– Robert H. Schuller

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”
– Kahlil Gibran

“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.”
– Joseph Campbell

“Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.”
– Democritus

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”
– Aristotle Onassis

“You’ll never find a rainbow if you’re looking down.”
– Charlie Chaplin

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.”
– Anne Frank

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you.”
– Walt Whitman

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”
– Robert Louis Stevenson

“We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle.”
– Marilyn Monroe

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”
– Edith Wharton

“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.”
– George Orwell

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
– Marcus Aurelius

Want more timeless motivation and inspiration? Then check out the best Dolly Parton quotes, this one with uplifting quotes and also this post with plenty of funny and heartwarming Winnie the Pooh quotes.

One of the most destructive daily habits I carried with me for a long time and I think is a very common one for many people was the thought habit of catastrophizing.

What is catastrophizing?

This is when you build up a nightmare scenario of how everything could go totally wrong in some situation and imagine a big catastrophe in your mind.

You may have a presentation tomorrow and your mind starts to pull up a scenario where you have left your notes at home, you make a fool of yourself, you are embarrassed in front the whole company and your boss yells at you for 20 minutes after the meeting.

Scary stuff for sure.

So how did I learn to handle this one?

Let me share 7 steps that have really helped me out.

Step 1: Loudly say stop to your inner critic.

The catastrophe that has started to brew in your mind comes from your inner critic.

He is telling you: “You will fail because it is what you always do.”

Or that you have not prepared enough.

Or that your boss will not be pleased with your presentation for some reason or other.

Or all of that.

So stop the inner critic quickly. In your mind, as soon as these thoughts pop up, shout:

“NO!”

Or: “NOPE, we are not going down that path again!”

This will disrupt that train of thought and help you to start feeling more level-headed again.

Step 2: Focus on your breathing.

After disrupting the thought be still for a minute or two. Sit down if you can.

Focus on just your in-breaths and out-breaths. Nothing else.

This will calm your body down from the stress and it helps your mind to think more clearly and to return to what is happening right now in this moment instead of being lost in future nightmares.

Step 3: Look to the past for the truth.

Think back to your past.

How many times in the past have these catastrophe scenarios that your mind throws at you actually become reality?

Never or very few times I would imagine. That has certainly been the case for me.

So remind yourself of the actual facts from the past to calm yourself down even more and to draw yourself back to the more centered version of yourself.

Step 4: Talk it through and get input from a level-headed friend.

In many situations in my own life the first three steps have helped me to snap out of the catastrophe scenario and to think more calmly and clearly.

But sometimes that combination isn’t quite enough. Maybe there are still some lingering negative thoughts and inner tensions that could start snowballing again.

If that’s the case then one thing I like to do is to let the catastrophe out. I talk it over with someone close to me.

By doing so, by just venting and having someone listening for a few minutes I can often see the situation for what it truly is. And so I calm down.

Or the person listening can help out me out a bit more if needed and lend me his or her perceptive.

That helps me to ground myself in reality again and it has also helped me many times to find a solution or a first step that I can take to start changing this situation into something better if that is needed.

Step 5: Stop making a mountain out of a molehill.

Another thing that often helps me is to ask myself a question that lets me zoom out and see if I’m honestly just making a mountain out of a molehill here (or out of nothing at all).

So I ask myself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

The answer is usually that it won’t. Even though it might at first seem that way when you’re in a stressed out and anxious headspace.

Step 6: Say stop to yourself when you know you simply can’t think straight.

When I’m hungry or I need to go to bed and get some sleep then I know from experience that I’m vulnerable to catastrophizing and pessimistic thoughts.

So what do I do?

I tell myself this:

No, no, no, we are not going to think about this now. We will think about this situation or challenge later, after getting some sleep or food.

Doing that simple thing helps a lot.

Because when I’m not hungry or I’m well rested once again then my issue that I was getting worked up about will most often be small to non-existent when revisited with some clear-headed thinking.

Or it will at least be a lot easier to find a solution or a plan to improve things if there’s actually a real challenge here that I need to face.

Step 7: Reduce any weekly input that pushes these disaster scenarios into the forefront of your mind.

The people and the other sources out there like TV, social media and various websites or forums have a big influence over your thinking.

So be careful about what you let into your head on a daily and weekly basis. Ask yourself:

Is there a person or source in my life that strengthens my catastrophizing habit?

Examples of such sources could be someone who is very pessimistic or news online or a social media platform that you find is feeding too much negativity into your mind.

When you’ve found something like that in your life ask yourself:

What can I do this week to spend less or no time with this person or source?

Then take action on that and spend the time you’ve now freed up during this week with one or a few of the most optimistic sources / people in your life.

Do this – in the coming weeks or months – with as many sources as needed to piece by piece build a healthy environment for yourself and for your thoughts.