In movie News, we discuss the potential orgasm that could erupt if Ryan Gosling does indeed sign on to play the lead in Guillermo Del Toro’s next film, The Haunted Mansion.  Other news mentioned includes confirmation that Phil Lord and Chris Miller have signed on to write and possibly direct WB’s new Flash movie starring Ezra Miller, Idris Elba playing the villain in Justin Lin’s Star Trek 3, and finally Adam West and Burt Ward’s return to their iconic roles of Batman & Robin.

All that and more on this episode of The REEL Podcast.

The REEL Podcast – About Us

Postscript: This weeks music was taken from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.  The track is Black Sheep and it is performed by Metric, though the version we used was taken directly from the movie and performed by Brie Larson.

So sit back, grab some organic unflavored popcorn, and enjoy!

The REEL Podcast Classic – REEL Thought Doc Special

This episode of The REEL Podcast features the Movies John Wick, Grand Budapest Hotel, and Boyhood.  We also take a quick look at a few movies and TV shows including Marcus’s take on The Voices, a look at Season 2 of Sleepy Hollow, A brief review of Salvation, and Ryan’s scathing take on Laggies.

In news we shift our attentions to Neil Blomkamp’s upcoming Alien 5, news of Dennis Villenueve’s hiring as director of the Blade Runner sequel, and a follow up on the casting of Dan Stevens as the titular Beast in Beauty and the Beast.

Finally, we take a brief moment to discuss an Oscars Postmortem and reveal our views on this years ceremony to recognize the best of the year in Film.

This is the First Episode of the REEL Podcast.

Listen as Vamsi Nallamothu, Marcus Girard, and Ryan Brown talk about the latest, and best in Movies, TV, and Ryan’s Hat.

This weeks Episode is about Birdman, Gone Girl, The Interview, and Snowpiercer.  We also touch base on a some movies including: Nebraska, Calvary, Dear White People, and Ryan Reynolds new Black Comedy, The Voices.

If you like listening to us, and would like to give us feedback, hit us up at:

TheREELPodcast@hotmail.com

@TheREELPodcast

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Would Love to hear from you guys, thanks for listening!

G.I. Joe is the perfect example of a movie that doesn’t know what to do with itself.  It’s trying so hard to pander to the lowest common denominator that it can’t by nature be anything but terrible.  Part of it more than likely has to do with the delay it had in coming to theaters, which was explained by Paramount Pictures to be for a post conversion of the film into 3D.  Whether that is the actual reason will never be known.  There was talk of the movie bombing during test screenings, and that re-shoots heavily involved including more screen time for Channing Tatum, but what the truth is we will never know.

In any event, I can’t comment on whether the Channing Tatum rumor is true, because he is still barely in the movie at all.  Even with the purportedly added footage, his total existence in the movie amounts to maybe 15 minutes at the most.  While I feel that there might be something to the rumor, as the Roadblock/Duke friendship dynamic seems rather tacked on, it is all rather irrelevant, especially in light of how little of it there is, and how quickly it is snuffed out.

Still, with the extra time given to bring the movie into theaters, it is a schizophrenic mess.

The main plot, involves the Joes being betrayed by the newly replaced President (Jonathan Pryce) who is now Zartan.

He has the Joes bombed after a successful mission to recover nuclear weapons from a foreign country, and in the wake of the attack, only Roadblock (Dwane Johnson), Flint (DJ Cortona), and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki) survive.

They are able to find their way back to the US, and go to meet with Colonel Joe, the man who gave them their namesake, and seemingly had his house built specifically around concealing his excessive firearm collection.

Completely removed from those proceedings, Snake Eyes (Ray Park) embarks on his own private mission to bring Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) to justice for his murder of their sensei, The Hard Master.  In pursuing that goal, secrets are uncovered revolving around the murder.  The Snake Eyes scenes (which feature the heavily publicized scenes of ninjas fighting on the side of the Himalayan Mountains) is visually stunning, but completely lacking in all other areas.

It all culminates in by the numbers conclusion during a nuclear disarmament talk taking place in the USA.

G.I. Joe Retaliation is a special kind of movie. A direct follow up to the 2009 film, it is very clear that Universal was hoping that a change of director and cast would make the film more viable. Unfortunately for them, the attempt failed miserably.

While I admit that on the surface it would seem that a movie based entirely upon a series of action figures would not have to aspire to very much, G.I. Joe fails on even the most basic level.

It is clear in every frame of this movie that everyone involved was thinking “It would be cool to do this.”  These conceptual ideas when put to film, however, fall flat.

There are a lot of allusions to nuclear deterrence, with the films major set piece being during the aforementioned nuclear disarmament talks. It is billed as a global event, despite being attended by only seven countries.

Its that kind of lazy, illogical, nonsense that pervades the brunt of G.I. Joe. From the gloves whose only purpose is to cut through a fence silently, to the way every G.I. Joe says hello to each other by point a gun at one another, and possibly the most ridiculous, a motorcycle which has missiles on it splitting into pieces and exploding into a building.

It’s also worth noting that the film features a cameo by the RZA in a role I won’t reveal here.  Suffice it to say, between this and Man With the Iron Fists, it’s probably best he sticks to rapping full time.

By the time the end rolls around your almost glad you can leave. I know I was.

1/5

Only a small resistance remains, scattered about the globe, trying to avoid being overtaken by the aliens.  When one of these people, Melanie Stryder (Saiorise Ronan) is captured and inhabited by a soul named ‘Wanderer’ she is able to resist being completely overtaken by the soul that has been inserted into her body.  What this means cinematically is that we spend 90 minutes hearing someone argue childishly with themselves over what to do about any given situation within their own head.  

The major problem with ‘The Host,’ is that we don’t care about any of it.  While we are supposed to feel for the Twilight-ish love triangle that develops after Melanie/Wanderer escapes The Soul base and finds the resistance again, we don’t, because we just don’t care about either of the men vying for her attention.  

While one was the man who loved her before she became possessed, the other falls in love with the soul that has overtaken her body.  However, neither of the people have been fleshed out as more than archetypes who fill a stock role.

Furthermore, we never quite understand the motivations of The Soul hunting all of the humans down, someone named ‘The Seeker,’ who until the very end just seems crazy.  When her reasoning is fully revealed, it just makes you feel like sighing.

Adding to the lack of personality is Niccol’s drab cinematography.  The movie doesn’t just feel boring, it even looks boring.  The desert is drab and without any character, and The Soul’s HQ is stark and clean, white and silver everywhere.

It all culminates in a very ham fisted way, allowing for a happy ending for all involved, using the most implausible explanations.  But then, if at that point, you even care what is happening, you probably won’t feel the same way.

1/5

I walked up to my computer, and went online (as like with every other day) to mildly surf the web. I went on a site I commonly frequent to see if Golden Compass was given good reviews from critics and there it was. In that moment I saw something that would blow my mind away.

It was the link to the Speed Racer trailer.

I opted to watch it in Hi-Def (720p to be exact) and waited for the trailer to load. It was a mild interest, as I had watched Speed Racer often as a child, and I thought that it would be fairly average with the Wachowski brothers helming it (for those of you who don’t know, they made the Matrix Trilogy).

The reality was quite different however. The trailer is LEGENDARY. Yes, thats right, LEGENDARY. It is almost too good to be true how amazing it is. I would not for a million years have expected anyone to actually pull off a live action Speed Racer in the way they have done.

Everything is included in the trailer, which runs at a trailer avg. 2:02 minutes. Theres Speed and his dad building the car for a few seconds, and Speed driving. Theres a few moments with Matthew Fox (Jack on Lost) as Racer X, and even a moment with Trixie in a helicopter guiding Speed. There is also a humorous moment with Chim-Chim and Sprite in the trunk of the Mach 5.

I’m usually not one who likes to spoil things for people intentionally, but in this case words are worthless. I could give you a play by play of every second in this trailer and the frame it represented but it would pale in comparison to the lights and the pure motion of such a movie as Speed Racer in action. It’s like looking at my computer and suddenly, I can see 5 year old me looking right back at me. While disconcerting its also something I found to be rare in a movie like this.

Speed Racer looks to be (right now) a rare breed of movie that takes such care of its source material that it puts all its efforts into bringing it forward into the present. After all, Mach 5 GoGoGo was made in 1967 and it is now 40 years later.

I urge everyone to watch the trailer which I have hyperlinked above, it is excellent.

Anyways, the reason for this post is because I think that the idea of celebrity endorsements for presidential nominations are ridiculous.  These ideas are the reason why people are so stupid.  Do we hold celebrities in such a high pedestal that we would let them dictate who would become the figurehead of our country?  Are we to believe that merely because CHUCK NORRIS likes someone named Mike Huckabee that he is presidential material?

I don’t think so.

All that says to me is that Chuck Norris likes Mike Huckabee.  I don’t even know if Chuck Norris has the same tastes as me but somehow people that know just as little are inclined to believe Chuck Norris is smart enough to chose their president for them.

I won’t lie to you guys, Americans are starting to bother me.  I just can’t take anyone seriously anymore.  I have said it for years, just like in Men in Black, a person is smart but people are stupid.  They are like sheep, flocking to listen to those who they think to be above them either socially or intellectually.  I remember that in 10th grade English we had to chose a person to lead the class (like in Lord of the Flies).  Not many people in the class liked me, but I ended up being chosen.  Stupid people rely on smarter people to get them through what they cannot handle themselves.

Furthermore, the idea that we need to such widely publicize the idea that said celebrities (for a recap – Oprah is Pro-Obama, Streisand is Pro-Hilary, and Norris is Pro-Huckabee) are for these candidates.  If they are such a big deal why isn’t anyone else?  Why don’t they publicize the fact that I am Pro-Obama too?  We both have only one vote, and in an ideal circumstance, are independent in our beliefs.

The only person that should be swaying people in a presidential election are the people running for president.  Period.  Unless your an idiot, even the person themselves should not be a factor.  In fact, I will rephrase that.  Only the candidates IDEAS should affect your opinion of who should be president.  Unlike previous presidents (JFK I’m looking at you in heaven) who were picked because women statistically vote more than men and they look for attractive candidates over competent ones, I wish now we would have realized the folly of not carefully thinking and participating in voting for a candidate who properly embodies those ideas that coincide with your own.

But I pride myself on being a stark realist, and I know that people will never hit or even touch the plateau where that is possible.  Instead we will just keep going the way we are going, and just like as I referred in Halo 3, the world will keep on spinning while falling apart at the seams.