Welcome to Rantyville

WTR Episode 41 - Tits and Shits

Fri, 18 May 2018 12:37:56 +0000

Hey there! After losing our previous episode due to technical difficulties, TRB and Heather D have returned with a brand new Welcome to Rantyville! Featuring lots of mammary glands and poop, this show will have you laughing enough to make up for last week! From breastfeeding and a #6titsalute to cheating whore coworkers and crazy shit ladies, we've packed this show with so much you'll have to listen twice to catch it all! So whether your favorite is Dear Abigail or Tales From the Uber, it's all here for you! Download, listen, and enjoy!

The @'s -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Be sure to check out rantystudios.blogspot.com for upcoming news about this show, Stupid Questions with Tyler Daniels, and a reboot of the show that started it all - The Retail Rant!

A WTR Short - Fried Pakistani Chicken

Thu, 10 May 2018 05:33:53 +0000

What happens when the "I.R.S." calls The Ranty Bastard twenty times a day? Well he returns their calls of course! In this brief episode, TRB calls back a couple of scammers just to tie up their phones and fuck with them. It's fun, and we here at Ranty Studios encourage you to do the same. So have a laugh, and get ready for a full episode to drop later this week.

Want to have your own call played on an episode of Welcome to Rantyville? Then check out the list of scam numbers provided daily by @IAmAlogical on Twitter, record your call, and send it to rantystudios@gmail.com!

Stupid Questions w/ Tyler Daniels - Episode 3

Mon, 07 May 2018 17:44:33 +0000

This week, Tyler Daniels doesn't just ask stupid questions, he answers them as well. When an emergency takes a guest away from the show, Tyler fills in to talk about his experiences in stand up comedy. Open mics, hecklers, tv time, and money for dick jokes all contribute to an engaging and enlightening episode of Stupid Questions with Tyler Daniels!

I have 27 Twitter followers - won't you join them! Follow on Twitter - @drunkoncomedy for silly commentary, cat pics, or to book your guest spot on the show!

#CouchPartyCrew #PodernFamily

WTR Episode 40 - Whores Galore!

Fri, 04 May 2018 02:30:00 +0000

Yes, you read it right. This week on Welcome to Rantyville, Heather D and TRB discuss cheating and heroin whores. Not the same person (just to be clear), but there are some shameless people on this planet and we're gonna talk about them! After a wild night in the Uber, TRB has more passenger stories to share, and chances are good that Heather flips out this weekend at work. You'll also hear about how much we hate the self checkout, why old people shouldn't have smart phones, and TRB transforms into an old lady for this week's Dear Abigail: 4th Grade Whore. We had fun making it, and we hope you'll enjoy it just as much! So pop in those headphones, grab a drink, and let's hope Heather survives the weather and work!

The Twits -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Get on over to rantystudios.blogspot.com for more from these two, as well as Mr. Tyler Daniels, host of Stupid Questions with Tyler Daniels. We're prepping more content to come out soon, so check it out!

WTR Episode 39 - The Saga of Sara

Fri, 27 Apr 2018 02:30:00 +0000

WHO is Sara? WHY is this episode named after her? WHAT could she have done? And most importantly, HOW did TRB not puke? These questions will be answered when you press play on this brand new episode of Welcome to Rantyville! Heather D and TRB bring you this week's show, full of rage, debauchery, and even seniors watching porn! We run the gambit on our usual topics, including Dear Abigail, Best & Worst, Rage from the Belly, as well as a few listener comments. But be warned - this week's Tale From the Uber is not for the faint of heart, and it almost takes over for "Megan's Ride" at number one. So plug in those headphones, and prepare your earholes for over an hour of fantastic fuckery!

The @s -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

And be sure to check out Stupid Questions w/ Tyler Daniels at rantystudios.blogspot.com - which is also the official home of Welcome to Rantyville and the now archived Retail Rant!

WTR Episode 38 - Derailed and Distracted

Fri, 20 Apr 2018 02:30:00 +0000

Are your ears bleeding from our surprise guest last week? Well have no fear, because Heather D has returned to the mic in this episode of Welcome to Rantyville! And you definitely want to hear what's got her blood pressure up after a week away from the show. As always, we start with an idea of what we want to talk about and then completely lose our focus and sidetrack into anything and everything. We start with Shit You (and I) Hate, Dear Abigail, and a Tale From the Uber that includes Megan AND Jose/Not Mike. Then it takes the most unusual turns as we somehow turn a cheese debate into a discussion about Xzibit, spinner hubcaps, Philly cheese steaks, and how Heather can kick Mark Wahlberg's ass. So press play and enjoy the return of the matriarch of Rantyville!

Stalk the hosts here -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Want more content? Go check out the official Ranty Studios website at www.rantystudios.blogspot.com for the complete archive of all 3 shows (WTR, Stupid Questions w/ Tyler Daniels, and The Retail Rant) as well as our witty and poignant blog posts!

WTR Episode 37 - Meet the Laura

Fri, 13 Apr 2018 02:30:00 +0000

This week's episode is brought to you by alcohol! That's right, not only is TRB taking shots of tequila and vodka, but he's brought Tyler Daniels along for the ride! With Heather D out of commission this week due to a sick kid, our Ranty Studios partner gladly and ably fills the second mic, and he brings us all a surprise too! Our conversation drifts in and out of things like Shit YOU Hate, morons in public, the farting Uber lady, and then it happens - we meet Tyler's roommate. His drunk roommate. Laura steps up to deliver a Dear Abigail, and then proceeds to enlighten us with how to really fuck somebody up on Tinder. Unexpected fun runs rampant this week, and we definitely earn that explicit tag, so plug in those earbuds and enjoy the long ride to Rantyville!

Where to find us -

Tyler - @drunkoncomedy

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

www.rantystudios.blogspot.com - The Official Home of Welcome to Rantyville and Stupid Questions W/ Tyler Daniels

WTR Episode 36 - He's Side Dick

Fri, 06 Apr 2018 11:00:00 +0000

Welcome to Rantyville everyone! TRB, Heather D, and the baby bring you another fun filled episode fueled by beer and botttled water! This week, the baby is practicing her kung fu moves on Heather's innards, we answer your listener questions, and we continue our tradition of trashing the people that write in to Dear Abigail. Throw in some shit we hate, another awkward Uber story, and the age old question "Tacos or Burgers?". So sit down and enjoy a trip down the road to Rantyville, where the beer is cold and the bottled water is purified!

Ask to be on the show here -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Be sure to visit the official Ranty Studios page at rantystudios.blogspot.com for more show info and more content from the crew! And click that Amazon banner when you buy things so we can Amazon Prime some pink stuff to Iowa!

Stupid Questions W/ Tyler Daniels

Fri, 06 Apr 2018 01:27:35 +0000

Stupid Questions takes off the training wheels this week, as your host Tyler Daniels orders a stiff drink while learning all about everyone's favorite person - the bartender! Seasoned barkeep Matt Anderson joins Tyler to educate him on the finer points of dealing with booze, brawls, and bars in general. The guys talk mixed drinks, bar etiquette (or the lack of), and $6,000 bar tabs. Chances are you aren't a bartender yourself, but don't let that stop you from fixing yourself a tasty beverage and kicking back to enjoy this episode of Stupid Questions with Tyler Daniels. Cheers!

Follow Tyler on twitter.com - @drunkoncomedy

Got some Mother's Day shopping to do? Well hop on over to rantystudios.blogspot.com and click on the Amazon banner and buy your mom all the wonderful things! And all the while, you'll be helping us put pink clothes in Heather D's house!

WTR Episode 35 - The Flashback

Fri, 30 Mar 2018 14:05:48 +0000

Welcome back to Rantyville everyone! After taking last week off due to craziness in their lives, Heather D and TRB have returned with a brand new episode for your earholes! The familiar format is back as well, as we discuss everything from Dear Abigail: 4th Grade Whore to Shit We Hate. Ranty's Book club makes an appearance, there's one weird/awkward/just fucking strange Tale from the Uber, and we answer all your #AskTRB and #AskHeatherD questions. We close the show out with a listener submitted Best & Worst, and tie in one of the greatest stand up bits by Denis Leary. Of course we are NSFW, so pop in those earbuds and get ready to laugh your ass off as we answer the age old question - stripper or Wendy's worker?

The Twits -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Drop off a 5-star iTunes review if you haven't already, and stop in at rantystudios.blogspot.com to see all the news from the Ranty crew! Plan on making an Amazon purchase? Click the banner on the top of the page to help us raise some money for Heather's baby fund (to be spent on pink stuff and diapers!)

Stupid Questions W/ Tyler Daniels

Thu, 29 Mar 2018 21:00:00 +0000

Welcome to the very first episode of Stupid Questions with Tyler Daniels, the newest addition the the Ranty Studios family! This week we put one toe in the water with Tyler's debut into podcasting. And he's popping his podcast hosting cherry with everyone's best friend/ favorite cohost, Heather D (@IBECeptAfterC)! Together they talk about playing video games, introducing the lower case d's (Heather's kids) to Mortal Kombat, and the Guitar Hero "Queen of the Dorms" for an interesting pilot episode. So give it a listen, have a laugh, and enjoy one of many shows to come!

Follow the host here -

Tyler - @drunkoncomedy

Like what you hear? Then check out his written works over at rantystudios.blogspot.com for more! And get yourself ready for another dose of Heather D on a new episode of Welcome to Rantyville later this week!

WTR Episode 34 - The Bullshit Episode

Fri, 23 Mar 2018 02:30:00 +0000

So what happens when TRB and Heather D take a week off? Well, we can tell you one thing that doesn't happen - show prep. This week your two favorite residents of Rantyville ditch planning, bits, and any type of format to bring you a show where we just talk. Not about anything in particular, just two friends talking. Now don't fret - it's still a fun and enjoyable trip down the road to Rantyville! So listen in and enjoy!

And on a side note - we're still waiting for the first listener submission to Dear Abby so we can have you on the show!

Don't Stalk Us, Just Follow Us

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

And be sure to follow the newest addition to Ranty Studios and the #CouchPartyCrew, Tyler Daniels (@drunkoncomedy)! His new show, Stupid Questions with Tyler Daniels debuts on this channel in a few short weeks!

WTR Episode 33 - Poontang Pie w/ Graham Cracker Crust

Tue, 13 Mar 2018 03:02:10 +0000

Hey everyone! Sorry for the delayed release this week, but we promise to make up for it with content! This week TRB and Heather D are joined by the newest member of Ranty Studios, Mr. Tyler Daniels! In his first show as an official podcaster (hosting the soon to be released "Stupid Questions w/ Tyler Daniels"), Tyler teams up with us to cover all your favorite topics as well as invent a new craze that will be coming to your bedroom soon. Throw in a polygamous Dear Abigail: 4th Grade Whore, some Shit I Hate, a serious #AskTRB #AskHeatherD, top it off with some good ol' Best & Worst, and damn have you got one hell of a show! So plug in those earbuds, maybe get a puke bag ready, but most importantly just enjoy this episode!

Love the show? Then follow us here!

Tyler - @drunkoncomedy

Heather - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Be sure to check out our literary masterpieces at rantystudios.blogspot.com. And if you're shopping on Amazon, click the banner on the top of the page to help us collect some pennies for Heather's baby girl (seriously, she needs diapers and pink clothes!).

WTR Episode 32 - The Retail Rant Returns

Fri, 02 Mar 2018 03:30:00 +0000

With Heather D on the sidelines this week, TRB is going back to the well again to bring you a bonus episode of The Retail Rant. You know what this means, so kick back, relax, plug in those earbuds, because wearing someone else's nametag is NSFW.

WTR Episode 31 - The SEXY Episode

Fri, 23 Feb 2018 04:10:03 +0000

That's right, TRB and Heather D are back, and we brought a little something with us - the SEXY! In a departure from our usual topics, this week we decided to go SEXY and see how many listeners we can gain or lose. Spawned by a tweet from a friend of the show and perhaps the weirdest/sexiest/grossest Uber ride TRB has ever done, everybody's favorite pod duo grabs your ears and drags them down into the gutter with us. And how do you wrap up such a perfect episode? You'll just have to pop in those earbuds and find out! Listen! Enjoy! SEXY!

Go to rantystudios.blogspot.com to "read the articles", check out your favorite episodes of past and present, and follow your hosts from the handy links at the bottom! And use that top banner to do all your Amazon shopping so we can help Heather buy pink stuff for the baby girl!

WTR Episode 30 - I've Seen Enough Tits Today

Fri, 09 Feb 2018 17:00:00 +0000

The British are coming! The British are coming! That's right, this week TRB and Heather D welcome our first international guest to Rantyville, Mr. Nick Lawrance Ellis! (Yes, that's exactly how it's spelled) And not only is Nick an amazing and hilarious guest, but he is kind enough to educate us Yanks on so many things! We cover a lot of ground on this episode, including our abuse of the English language, what "pants" really are, how dumb we look as tourists, and why our highways suck. We sprinkle in the usual WTR discussions as well, like Dear Abigail, Shit I Hate, and a Tale from the Uber involving a stripper. And if that's not enough to make you listen to this episode, you should probably get yourself checked. So kick back, plug in those earbuds, and enjoy this week's WTR featuring Nick Lawrance Ellis!

The only person you need to follow this week -

Nick - @nlawranceellis

Check out rantystudios.blogspot.com for more content from the crew! And use the Amazon link when you buy things - proceeds help Heather buy pink stuff for once!

WTR Episode 29 - TRB's Mexico Road Trip?

Fri, 02 Feb 2018 03:30:00 +0000

Welcome to Rantyville boys and girls! TRB and Heather D are serving up another fun filled episode, and we brought along fellow podcaster (and fan) Mr. Kyle Rothfus (@digipen79) for the ride. And will there be a ride to Mexico in TRB's future? Find out as we finally make THE announcement regarding Heather's baby! We're gonna cover it all on this one, from your #AskTRB questions and Dear Abigail, to Best & Worst, Tales from the Uber, and more! So buckle up and plug in those headphones because we didn't mark the explicit box for nothing!

The Twittters

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

Kyle - @digipen79

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Buying something on Amazon with all those unused Christams gift cards from Grandma? Shoot over to rantystudios.blogspot.com and click the Amazon banner to help support the show while you shop! It's also a great place for content from the Ranty crew, including blog posts and links to the show (including the now archived Retail Rant)

WTR Episode 28 - The Butthole Gag Reflex

Fri, 26 Jan 2018 03:30:00 +0000

Welcome back to Rantyville everyone! TRB and Heather D get a bump in the population this week as our good friend Syndic (@5YND1C) joins the show! We spend some time helping her find the most annoying Vaelntine's Day gift, how bad third shift sucks, and have some fun with our usual topics. It's not hard to see how we all agree on this week's Best and Worst, TRB teaches the ladies what a "card swipe" is (no chip reader), and Heather gives us yet another enlightening edition of "Dear Abigail, 4th Grade Whore". So pop in those headphones and join us in Rantyville for yet another episode full of fun and occasional debauchery!

People's Places on the Interwebs -

Syndic - @5YND1C

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Things you should do today -

Get that Couch Party app for your Android device! and check out our new site at rantystudios.blogspot.com where you'll find all your show links, as well as some new material by TRB, Heather D, and guest Tyler Daniels. And just maybe a new project coming soon!

WTR Episode 27 - When Hairy Met Salad

Fri, 19 Jan 2018 03:30:00 +0000

Welcome back to Rantyville, the town with a small population with a couple of foul mouthed inhabitants! What better way to kick off your weekend than letting a new episode of Welcome to Rantyville infect your earholes? TRB and Heather D are back at it once again, covering all the things that gave us micro-aneurysms in the past week. We get an update on the Lil D, tell a Tale from the Uber, discuss some shit we hate, and make fun of a sad 100 year old advice column. We delve into the world of canned meats and men's facial hair in Best & Worst, ask a fellow podcaster for baby hand me downs, and pimp a new intro song too! So pop in those earbuds (because we are definitely NSFW), kick back and enjoy a new trip to your favorite town!

Also, check out our author of the week, Ms. Jessica Samuels. Her latest book, Tales From Behind the Counter, is a must read for anyone who has ever jockeyed a register for hours on end. Telling the stories of Angeline and her times at Kyle's General Store, its a fun read full of honesty and customer hijinks. To get your copy (or to enjoy it on Audible.com for free for 2 weeks), visit the new home of Ranty Studios in the links below. And leave her the same 5-star love that you guys and gals share with us!

Our new website! - rantystudios.blogspot.com

Our old Twitters!- Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

- TRB - @TheRantyBastard

WTR Episode 26 - Jake's Tea Party

Fri, 12 Jan 2018 04:17:03 +0000

Welcome back to Rantyville, where it's population 2.5 plus you! TRB, Heather D and the baby girl are all back for another episode full of fun and laughs! We take delight in a countless number of sidetracked conversations, shoutouts to friends of the show, and the return of the infamous "Fuck You Notes". Despite being all over the map, we cover your favorites, including -

#AskHeatherD/#AskTRB - Dear Abigail: 4th Grade Whore - Shit I Hate - Tales from the Uber - Best & Worst - and more!

It was a lot of fun getting some more interaction from you (the listener) this episode, and we're looking forward to even more next week. So send us your artist of the week, a #AskHeatherD/#AskTRB, or call the Rantyville Hotline at 810-373-9790 so we can all have fun together! Or drop us a note on the twitter.com or another 5 star review on iTunes!

Where we say fuck a lot less (or maybe not, who's judging?) -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

WTR Episode 25 - The Hot Stepdad

Sat, 06 Jan 2018 08:30:22 +0000

Hi there kids! It's time to put on your scarf and gloves and come out to play in the snow in Rantyville! Heather D and TRB are back at it again, lamenting the ridiculously cold weather, and covering all your favorite topics. So kick back and check out the newest episode of Welcome to Rantyville, where we will cover -

#AskTRB/#AskHeatherD - Hank Hill makes an appearance - Shit I Hate - Dear Abigail: 4th Grade Whore - Tales From the Uber - Best & Worst - and lots more!

So grab those earbuds and get warm, because the fun is just beginning on 2018!

Medias of Social -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Couch Party app! FREE! Get it!

WTR Episode 24 - Leave Me Alone!

Sat, 30 Dec 2017 17:50:36 +0000

The Bastard is back! After a brief absence due to illness and retail, TRB has returned with Heather D to bring you a brand new edition of Welcome to Rantyville. We talk about so many things on this one, from the holidays (that are thankfully over now) and Heather's addiction to Raisin Bran, to the shit flu and how angry TRB gets when his meal gets interrupted by someone he doesnt like (Periscope video highly recommended). And then we've got our usual topics such as -

Dear Abigail 4th Grade Whore - Tales from the Uber - Best & Worst - and more!

So kick back and enjoy our first show together in almost a month, and if you're having a few drinks this New Year's, be smart and call an Uber. You never know, you just might get TRB!

*Helpful hint - download the Uber app, set up a new account, and use the code "hittheroad" for a free ride up to $15! Because we want you to have a great time, but we also want you to get home safe!

*Helpful hint #2 - download that Couch Party app! Make it your New Year's resolution to check out the entire Couch Party crew!

Connect with the show!

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

And look for some new things coming from Ranty Studios in 2018!

WTR Episode 23 - The Gist of the List

Mon, 18 Dec 2017 06:13:47 +0000

Hey everyone! Sorry for the late release, but TRB was down due to sickness and work, so Heather D had to make a call to the bullpen. Flying in Ranty's seat this week it's our good friend Tyler Daniels, who fills TRB's mic admirably once again. It's a great episode filled with wholesome goodness, ranging from 2017's top Google searches to Tyler's war on stupidity. So strap in and enjoy, and don;t worry - Heather's cat survives the fall.

Social Medias of the Peoples

Tyler - @drunkoncomedy

Heather - @IB4ECeptAfterC

Give yourself an awesome Christmas gift and download that FREE Couch Party app! All the best podcasts in one simple tap of your finger!

WTR Episode 22 - Cat Defense Force

Fri, 08 Dec 2017 04:25:01 +0000

Hey everybody! We're back after taking a week off, and TRB has brought Mrs. TRB along for the ride! Check it out as we talk about the week that was, kids, and more, including -

#AskTRB/#AskHeatherD - Dear Abigail 4th Grade Whore - Shit We Hate - Cheating in The Uber - Best/Worst - and more!

The @s

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

Mrs. TRB - @agapch79

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Return of the Rant

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 13:00:00 +0000

That's right boys and girls! While Heather D is off prepping Thanksgiving dinner, TRB is going back to his retail roots. Joined by "Retail: The Comic Book" creator Steven Petrivelli, we break down the fuckery known as "Black Thursday" (and why you should hate it too). So strap in those earbuds as these two retail survivors take corporate greed to task, and just maybe this will help you make it through another shitty shift in retail, on the shittiest of weekends. Enjoy, persevere, and as always, make sure you're wearing someone else's nametag!

Places we do things -

Steven Petrivelli - @steve_petro stevenpetrivelli.com

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Retail: The Comic Book is available now on stevenpetrivelli.com for the low price of $5! Go check it out and support a longtime friend of the show by picking up both copies!

WTR Episode 21 - Dishin W/ The D's

Fri, 17 Nov 2017 04:50:55 +0000

Welcome back to Rantyville, where it's population 2(.5) plus you! This week Heather D is joined by Tyler Daniels (@drunkoncomedy) as her co-host, because TRB is being held captive in the dungeon of retail hell. These two crazy kids from Iowa cover it all in this episode, even dabbling in (gasp) politics a little! So strap in and listen up as they discuss -

Penises - The Streak is Over - Dear Abigail 4th Grade Whore - First ever LIVE call-in to the show (Featuring shitty cell service)- Shit I Hate - Best/Worst (keep 'em coming!) - and more!

Find them on Twitter or in a corn field!

Tyler - @drunkoncomedy

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

Send in some love for the show on iTunes - we've literally been stuck on 30 reviews for months now! And be sure to send your #AskTRB and #AskHeatherD questions, as well as a Fuck You Note on the Rantyville Hotline (810-373-9790)!

WTR Episode 20 - The Uber Swingers

Fri, 10 Nov 2017 03:30:00 +0000

Hey boys and girls, and welcome to Rantyville, where it's population 3.5 plus you this week! Heather D and TRB are joined by fellow podcaster/Uber driver/stand up comedian Mr. Ryan Howard of the Digital Men Audio podcast! Ryan shares some of his own Tales from the Uber, and we discuss the usual wide myriad of topics, including -

Ryan floods basements - The recliner update - Shit We Hate - Crossing Guard Douchebaggery - All you gotta do is not be a dick - Heather says cunt and twat - Dear Abigail: 4th Grade Whore - Best & Worst - and more!

Be sure to check out the Digital Men Audio podcast on iTunes, and download that Couch Party app for your Android device. Why you ask? Because if you're listening to this show, then you clearly love podcasts! So check out some of the best grass roots comedy and entertainment out there!

Where we say fuck and other funny things

Ryan - @Howard_RyanGreg

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

WTR Episode 19 - The Great BJ Debate

Fri, 03 Nov 2017 13:47:44 +0000

Welcome back to Rantyville, where's it's now officially population 2.5 plus you! In the wake of Heather's baby announcement last week, she and TRB discuss a lot of things not baby related, including -

Asparagus - TRB's $20 recliner - Shit I Hate - Dear Abigail: 4th Grade Whore - Tales from the Uber - Lazy Halloween costumes - The Morality of the Blow Job - and our biggest Best & Worst ever!

And at the suggestion of the fans, the Rantyville Hotline has been reopened for business! Get your frustrations out on the show by calling 810-373-9790 - it's not just for retail anymore!

The Twits:

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Go get that Couch Party app for your Android device, and enjoy a ton of original content from the greatest collection of podcasters ever assembled! It's all for you, and it's always FREE!

WTR Episode 18 - TRB is a dead man

Fri, 27 Oct 2017 03:41:08 +0000

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME! We promised a big reveal last week, so prep your earholes, because here it comes! TRB and Heather D are joined this week by Brain Checker (@retailbrainchkr) to bring you breaking news, as well as some advice on how not to be penetrated. We run the full gambit on this one, so sit back and enjoy as we discuss -

TRB is fleeing to Mexico - ANNOUNCEMENT!!! - Getting scammed - Dear Abigail, 4th Grade Whore - Shit We Hate - The Furry Uber - Best & Worst - and more!

El Twitter-o

Brain Checker - @retailbrainchkr

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Enjoy the show? Send your 5-star review to us on iTunes, or download the Couch Party app for your Android device. We love the feedback, and remember to #AskTRB or #AskHeatherD if you want to become a part of the show!

WTR Episode 17 - Afternoon Delight

Fri, 20 Oct 2017 04:55:45 +0000

Welcome to Rantyville everyone! Ever wondered how we get guests on the show? Here's a hint - just #AskTRB! That's how our guest this week, Hero (@CartoonHeroGuy) ,got his passport to Rantyville! We have a great time discussing Hero's creative content, videos, as well as his Patreon page. And we also dig into some more stuff, like -

Shit Hero Hates - Dear Abigail 4th grade whore - Bangin' cookies - Alt-brand sodas - TRB's obligatory Boss Light - Tales from the Uber (featuring weed and pron) - #AskTRB/#AskHeatherD - Best & Worst - and more!

Places we do things -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

Hero - @CartoonHeroGuy - patreon.com/theherooftomorrow

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

WTR Episode 16 - "Ralph" Has a Secret

Fri, 13 Oct 2017 02:00:00 +0000

Welcome back to Rantyville everyone! Heather D and TRB are back at it again, bringing you your weekly dose of the finest fuckery that life has to offer. We learn that Dear Abigail (4th grade whore) has a comments section, people will do dumb shit to get out of an Uber, and how our friend Tyler could FINALLY get some action. So listen in as we discuss these topics, as well as -

"Ralph's" Secret - Shit We Hate - Tales from the Uber - Has Little Party Boy happened yet? - Best/Worst - and more!

Download that Couch Party app and catch this show, as well as the entire Couch Party Crew, all in one place! From Miserable Rejection Snausage to Dr. Penrose, we have it all for you in one simple, FREE app! Get your ass to the Google Play Store now!

For the socialites -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC #AskHeatherD

TRB - @TheRantyBastard #AskTRB

WTR Episode 15 - It's Pronounced Jaun-DEE-Ce

Fri, 06 Oct 2017 17:31:13 +0000

Hey everybody! We're back off our bye last week, and TRB and Heather D finally managed to pull off a show with no technical difficulties! I know it's hard to believe, so you'll just have to listen for yourself as we talk about -

Dear Abigail - Shit We Hate - Tales from the Uber - Jaundice Kilogram Snakebite - Best & Worst - and more!

Enjoy the show? Drop us a 5-star review on iTunes under whatever they call a podcast now. And download that Couch Party app for all you Android users - it's the best way to catch up with the Couch Party crew!

@'s and #'s

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC #AskHeatherD

TRB - @TheRantyBastard #AskTRB

WTR Episode 14 - Another Buttplug Thing

Fri, 22 Sep 2017 03:58:59 +0000

Time to take a trip to your favorite place in the world, Rantyville! TRB and Heather D are back again to bring you another episode of Welcome to Rantyville, where we talk about -

Matty F's new baby, cancer sucks, Albino Monkey, the washing machine incident, Dear Hank Hill, Best & Worst, and plenty more!

Don't forget to check out the Couch Party app, and rate and review the show on iTunes!

Stalk us!

Heather - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

WTR Episode 13 - It's Matty F!

Sat, 16 Sep 2017 15:03:57 +0000

TRB and Heather D welcome fellow Couch Party member Matty F from the critically acclaimed Let Me Tell Ya Podcast this week! We prep Matt for fatherhood, talk shit (literally), and more!

Diapers/shit - Tales from the Uber - Shit I Hate - 9/11 conspiracies are dumb - Matt says "Old people is fuckin!" - Dear Abby - and a bunch of other nonsense!

Check out Matt and Grant on the Let Me Tell Ya Podcast, which you can find for FREE on the always awesome Couch Party app for Android, iTunes, and everywhere else you get your streaming podcast pleasures!

The Twitters

Matty F - @murdock7x4

Heather D - @IB4ECeptafterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

WTR Episode 12 - At Least He Didn't Die

Fri, 08 Sep 2017 18:05:13 +0000

Wow. What a week. Heather D tried to "drunk camp", TRB endures his worst Uber ride ever, and we tried our hardest to wreck this recording session. But, we're back with another episode of Welcome to Rantyville for you, and there's plenty to discuss!

Heather's weekend - Tales from the Uber - Shit I Hate - Boobies - and more!

Where we are on the intertubes -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

WTR Episode 11 - The Reunion!!!

Fri, 01 Sep 2017 03:24:19 +0000

TRB and Heather D are reunited after a couple weeks apart, but the shenanigans haven't stopped. An awkward moment shared, a pregnancy scare, we've got it all and more this week. We also discuss -

Shit I Hate - Cranberry Obsessions - Non-driving Fucktards - Best/Worst - and more!

We'll make it easy for the stalkers -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Send us your 2 words (Twitter) and 5 stars (iTunes) and come on down to Rantyville, population 2 + you!

WTR Episode 10: Captain Heather D

Fri, 25 Aug 2017 00:53:58 +0000

TRB had to step away this week due to work, so Heather D is running the show with our good friend & superfan Tyler Daniels! After lamenting the absence of TRB, these two cover a ton of topics -

Tyler's pussy talk - Dear Abby - I want a tiki torch but I'm not a racist - Those kids - and more!

Check out the whole Couch Party crew on the FREE app we've told you about 100 times. Download it already would ya?!?!?!

Internet places to find us -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

Tyler Daniels - @drunkoncomedy

TRB and Heather D reunite next week, but leave us a 5 star review on iTunes, and send us your 2 words for next week's best and worst!

WTR Episode 9: It's a Surprise!

Fri, 18 Aug 2017 03:55:21 +0000

No show notes. It's a surprise. Enjoy.

WTR Episode 8: Boss Light Sucks

Fri, 11 Aug 2017 02:30:00 +0000

So what do you do when your cohost sends you money to buy beer? You buy that beer and drink it on air damn it! So as TRB subjects his palette to yet another skanky brew, Heather D sits back and downs a little sparkling white wine (replay that scene with Nicolas Cage in "The Rock" for a full description). As always, we laugh, we curse, and we have a lot of fun bringing you this week's episode of Welcome to Rantyville!

We also discuss - Dear Abby - Tales From the Uber - HD's birfday - Silvia - and more!

Social Shit -

Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Get that Couch Party app to check out all the show's across our network, including the return of Dr. Penrose Eames (@PenroseEames) and our best buds at Miserable Retail Slave (@MRetailSlave)

WTR Episode 7: Special Guest Tyler Daniels

Fri, 04 Aug 2017 02:58:33 +0000

Welcome back to Rantyville! On this episode, TRB and Heather D are joined by comedian (and superfan) Tyler Daniels as we discuss the events of the past week, and get a taste of Tyler and TRB's comedic stylings in a new "Stand Up Battle" (except we were both sitting down, but who's keeping score?). More fun topics include -

Fish assholes - Cheap beer - Heather's birthday - Tales From the Uber - Dear Abby - and more!

Check out our artist of the week, Circuit Static, on Twitter (@circuitstatic) and his website (circuitstatic.com).

Contact these fools -

Heather - @IB4ECeptAfterC

TRB - @TheRantyBastard

Lots of #couchpartycrew references in this episode, so get on that app in the Google Play Store so you can check them all out!

WTR Episode 6: We're All Over The Place

Fri, 28 Jul 2017 01:45:40 +0000

Welcome back to Rantyville! It's time for another glimpse into the lives of TRB and Heather D, as we discuss everything from drinking to heinous things done with a super soaker (stick around for THAT story). We laugh, Heather drinks, and then we discuss -

Dear Abby - The swinger in the dress - TRB's 4th of July past - Heather rants - TRB was such a douchebag as a teen - Best/Worst - and more!

Check out that Couch Party app for all of your favorite podcasts in one place. It's also a great way to catch the return of the good Dr. Penrose Eames and his amazing show, Penrose Vs. Anybody! Download it now for FREE in the Google Play Store!

WTR Episode 5: Bloodka & Svedka

Fri, 21 Jul 2017 02:25:23 +0000

We talk, we drink, we laugh, we forget what we discussed. It seems to be a winning formula here in Rantyville, so that's exactly what we're going to do. TRB and Heather D are back to bring you another episode, and hope you enjoy it as we crash off the rails repeatedly. This week's fun topics include -

That Carmax Guy - Tales from the Uber - The Kitty Kidnapper - A whole lot of shit we did not plan - Best/Worst - and more!

This week's artist of the week is no longer a band (Whoops)! But you can still check out "On An On" via that Youtube.com thing.

Stalk Us -

TRB @TheRantyBastard Heather D @IB4ECeptAfterC

Who is this Matty F guy they talk about? Why he's a fellow member of the Couch Party Crew! Find him on the CP app on the Google Play Store, and follow his dive into fatherhood on Twitter (@Murdock7X4). Congrats Matt!

WTR Episode 4: Glenlivet For The Win

Fri, 14 Jul 2017 01:33:57 +0000

It's time for another fun filled episode with your two favorite residents of Rantyville! TRB and Heather D cover a lot this week, so here's just a quick list-

The 4th of July - Dear Abby - Ranting about the gym - Tales from the Uber - Best/Worst - and more!

Check out our artist of the week on Soundcloud - The Girl In The Yellow Dress. (She sings lullabies to Heather D when the room starts spinning, and she has a great voice)

Hit us up on the Twitter with your 2 words, and leave us a 5 star review on that iTunes! And check out our official sponsor, retailanonymous.com!

Social Things

TRB - @TheRantyBastard Heather D - @IB4ECeptAfterC

WTR Episode 3: When Heather D Met TRB

Fri, 07 Jul 2017 01:52:11 +0000

The Fourth of July is a time for fun with family and friends, which is exactly what we did! So instead of recording, we watched explosions in the air and drank beer until we were on the floor. So in an effort to get you to know Heather D better, Welcome to Rantyville brings you HD's first appearance on the former Retail Rant. She is joined by Mrs. TRB as they discuss motherhood, crazy kids, and the even crazier people that always want to cop a feel on a pregger's belly. Back at it with a new show next week, so enjoy this one as we all meet Heather D for the first time (again).

And don't forget to send us your 2 words for Best/Worst, and your five-star iTunes reviews!

The Social Credits

TRB - @therantybastard

Heather - @IB4ECeptAfterC

WTR Episode 2: Little Party Boy

Fri, 30 Jun 2017 02:35:45 +0000

Hey there boys and girls! You didn't hate the pilot episode, so TRB and Heather D are back for another edition of Welcome to Rantyville! This week we talk more Ubering w/ TRB, "authentic" restaurants, Heather's bad decision of the week, Best/Worst and more! And remember, if you enjoy the show, rate and subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, or whatever source you infect your earholes with!

Need an easy, affordable way to listen to this show and the rest of the Couch Party Crew? Check out that FREE Couch Party app in the Google Play Store!

WTR Episode 1: Pilot

Fri, 23 Jun 2017 00:53:25 +0000

Welcome to the pilot episode of Welcome to Rantyville with TRB and Heather D. Taking the place of The Retail Rant on the Couch Party network, it's a weekly look into the daily lives of our hosts.

We're just riffing along on this one with minimal show prep, but if you enjoyed The Retail Rant, this one will pick you right back up where it left off. Less retail, more life. Enjoy!

The Ear Infection Conundrum

Fri, 28 Apr 2017 02:30:00 +0000

S2E5: It's finally warming up in most of the country, which means one thing. Customers handing us things from their sweaty nether regions is about to become a thing again. And just when you thought perspiration soaked money from socks and boobs was the worst we would face, TRB bore witness to something far more disgusting. So pop in those earbuds and grab a barf bag, because this one will trigger your upchuck reflex. And if you've ever wondered if the employees at a pizza place get pizza parties as a reward, Ranty has the answer for you. Mix in a few more tales of retail fuckery, and you have this week's episode of The Retail Rant Podcast! So kick back, relax, and as always, make sure you're wearing someone else's nametag!

The Ranty Hotline is open! Call 810-373-9790, release some retail rage, and get it played on the show!

Couch Party App. Google Play Store. Do it. DO IT NOW!

Fan Takeover! (ft. Sean William Brown, Mike Bookseller, and Retail Side Eye)

Fri, 14 Apr 2017 02:30:00 +0000

TRB gets to relax a bit as three good friends of the show grab the reins this week in Season 2's first fan takeover. Sean William Brown and Mike Bookseller start us off with their top five things they actually like about retail, and TRB jumps in with Retail Side Eye to double the fun towards the end. Here's just a sample of what you'll hear about in Season 2, Episode 3 - Seafood hide and seek/creepy basements/dumb shit that corporate sends/things thrown at TRB/Rostered On/discount candy/bad crabcakes/Fios dies

Support the guys and pick up a copy of Sean's literary masterpieces "Dear Customer" and "Walmart: I Don't Belong Here", check out Mike's artistic stylings at krrobar.com, as well as their joint venture, thesku.org. And get over to facebook.com/retailcomicbook to support our good friend Steven Petrivelli by picking up a copy of RETAIL, now available for pre-order!

And be sure to check out the entire #CouchPartyCrew on the award winning Couch Party app from the Google Play Store! 100's of episodes, 10 great podcasts, all in 1 FREE app!

Crossed Signals

Fri, 07 Apr 2017 02:30:00 +0000

Season 2 continues with the return of an awesome guest, Retail Hades! Check it out as Ranty and Hades team up to talk about more fuckery in cellular sales, and a #dearcustomer moment that will have you tearing up (from laughter, we're not real sensitive around here). Tales of retail past, idiots of retail present, and what you can expect in the future, all rolled into one episode! So pull out those earphones and fill out some more job applications as TRB and Hades help you through yet another #FucktardFriday in retail hell! And as always, make sure you;re wearing someone else's nametag!

The Social Stuff

Hades - @Retail_Hades His better half - @Pharmacy_Hades

TRB - @The_Retail_Rant

Support the best crew in podcasting today by downloading the Couch Party app for your Android device! It's the best way to listen to 10 amazing podcasts in just one click of the finger. Perfectly priced for the underpaid retail employee - IT'S FREE! So go grab it now from the Google Play Store!

The Best Worst Job You'll Ever Have

Fri, 31 Mar 2017 02:30:00 +0000

Season 2 is here! And who better to kick it off with than the creative mind behind the Retail comic book, Steven Petrivelli! Steven and TRB discuss what drives them to create their content, share stories from retail hell, and talk about what the reader can expect from this amazing comic. And despite their mutual hatred of working behind a cash register, you'll hear about some of the (few) good things that can come from being a corporate number. So plug in those earbuds, drown out the rest of the break room, and enjoy the season premiere of The Retail Rant Podcast!

The social stuff

Steven Petrivelli - @Steve_Petro / facebook.com/retailcomicbook

TRB - @The_Retail_Rant

Powered by the Couch Party app for Android devices. Don't have it yet? Why the hell not?!?! Get to the Google Play Store and download it now - IT'S FREE! AND AWESOME!

Ranty Rises

Fri, 24 Mar 2017 02:30:00 +0000

It's been too long my friends, but don't fret. Ranty has returned. Despite a brief hiatus (not of my own choosing), TRB is back to heal the wounds of retail hell. Listen in as Ranty discusses what happened, how it went down, and why he's not all that mad about it (still kinda pissed, but not really). And then it's back to destroying retail and all it's fuckery. It's also a perfect time to bring a close to season 1 and get ready to bring you season 2, packed with customer fuckery and corporate idiocy. So kick back and enjoy the season finale (NOT a series finale, relax)!

And be sure to check out the dopest crew in podcasting, the Couch Party crew! Check all these great shows out on our Android app, and drop some 5-star love over on iTunes!

Couch Party - Miserable Retail Slave - Doom and The Beast - Jake and Tom Conquer the World - Let Me Tell Ya - Let's Get Drunk and Talk Comics - Penrose vs. Anybody - The Nerd Rage Podcast - The Mixed Feelings Podcast (who also has an amazing YouTube channel - check it out!)

Serving With Sol

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 03:30:00 +0000

Well it's time to drop another throwback episode of the show this week, and what better way to do it than by bringing you the first ever guest on The Retail Rant. Joined by Sol (@_seasun), TRB finds out what it's like to be a server again after being out of the game for over 15 years. Whether it's the "Diet Coke" response to "Hi, I'm...", the ridiculous perceptions of what they saw on TV versus the food in front of them, or just general assholishness, waiting tables still sucks. And your Fuck You Notes get the "live commentary" treatment this week too! So kick back and enjoy this classic episode with your favorite drink, or just catch it in 15 minute segments on your breaks. Be certain to wear those earbuds, but most importantly, make sure you're wearing someone else's fucking nametag!

TRBTalk - Is Your Mall Dying?

Fri, 17 Feb 2017 03:30:00 +0000

In the second TRBtalk of 2017, TRB sits down to discuss a piece of American culture that is slowly working itself into oblivion. The shopping mall. We all have them in our towns, and it was probably a piece of your teenage years growing up. Meeting someone there on a Friday night, taking them there for the first date on Saturday, or maybe even (gasp) shopping, we've all got at least one mall memory. And whether it's a good or bad memory, it's a part of our youth thats engrained forever.

But now we've "grown up", and gotten a job at the mall as we try to afford all the things that adult life necessitates. But something is amiss. This isn't the mall we know and love. It's merely a shell of it's former self. Why is that? Well kick back with a cold one as TRB explains why the American shopping mall is dying, and why it may be time for you to fire up that escape pod.

The Kick Heard Round the World

Fri, 10 Feb 2017 03:30:00 +0000

Yet another week of retail hell is in the books, and TRB is here to tell you all about it. Hopefully it's a cathartic thing for you, because this week we are dredging up some of the worst of TRB's last month behind the cash register. It all starts with a meeting (see #rantytweetsameeting for reference), followed up by a woman who deserves a dropkick, and sprinkled with some customer douchebaggery for good measure. So whether you're paying your way through college as a cashier, or stuck in middle management with no end in sight, this show is for you. Because let's be honest, there's a little bit of The Ranty Bastard in all of us!

Not enough TRB for ya? Check out the latest appearances of TRB with the #CouchPartyCrew on the totally FREE Couch Party App for Android! Talking RetroPie and wrestling with HAB of Couch Party, or the first in "studio" appearance on Penrose Vs. Anybody with the great Penrose Eames, it's been an exciting month for TRB!

Social Creds

TRB @The_Retail_Rant The Ranty Hotline - 810-373-9790

HAB @Couch_Party

Penrose @PenroseEames

Darth Mall Walker

Fri, 03 Feb 2017 03:30:00 +0000

Welcome back to another week of retail fuckery! It's been a while since we've checked in on the mall scene, and this week's guest gives us some insight to where this former institution is headed. So Ranty is joined this week by yet another amazing guest, Heather D., to discuss just that. You'll hear about the uber competitive mall walkers, the creepers at the window and how to shame them, along with why Heather feels like she is working in the underbelly of a dying beast. See that the struggle to escape retail is even more difficult when you can start to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. But it's not all doom and gloom, so kick back and enjoy another great guest appearance on The Retail Rant!

The Social Things

Heather - @IB4ECeptAfterC

Ranty - @The_Retail_Rant

Did #dearcustomer give you an anonymous 1 star review? Boss forced you to accept an expired coupon from 2013? Corporate fucking up your day with conference calls? Well don't hold in the rage my friends! Call the Ranty Hotline at 810-373-9790 and let those frustrations go! Get them played on the show, as well as any topics you want covered on a future episode! Drunk dials totally encouraged!

TRB Meets Dr. Penrose

Fri, 27 Jan 2017 03:30:00 +0000

Time to enjoy one of the greatest guests to join The Retail Rant! After much rescheduling, TRB is FINALLY joined in studio by the host of Penrose Vs. Anybody (and fellow Couch Party member), Dr. Penrose Eames!!! We talk about his show, some retail, Penrose says what everybody feels about Wal-Mart, TRB reminds everyone that they are just a number to corporate, B-Dubs wings are lame, and much more! This is by far one of the funniest, laugh out loud episodes of the show, so maybe the break room isn't the best spot to listen (unless you like those crazy looks from co-workers). But it's served up perfectly at home with your favorite adult beverage!

The Social Stuff

Penrose - @PenroseEames (the name changes every 6 minutes, so just use the @)

TRB - @The_Retail_Rant

Find both shows and many more on the totally awesome, 100% FREE Couch Party app for Android! The best collection of shows in one simple click, including all these great shows - Miserable Retail Slave, Couch Party, Jake and Tom Conquer the World, Nerd Rage, Mixed Feelings, Let's Get Drunk and Talk Comics, and Let Me Tell Ya! Download it now!

A TRBtalk - Retail Tech

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 03:30:00 +0000

It's easy to have a good laugh when talking about customers and corporate. We've done if for the last year and a half together. But this week, TRB is throwing you a curveball. What, no customer fuckery? No corporate monkeys bombing your inbox? Not this week friend. It's time to take a look into the future of retail. It's time for TRB to rip off "TEDtalks", and make you think about your own future in retail hell. 2017 will be a big year for the evolution of retail technology, and we need to give it some serious thought. Could an app replace you? Will e-commerce cost me my job? How will the success or failure of Amazon Go impact MY job in 10 years?

In an era where trends and data are valued more than employee experience, you have to look at the total picture. And that's what this first episode in the series of TRBtalks is intended to do. We will look into a time not too far away, and be forced to ask ourselves, "Is my time in retail almost up?". And for many of us, the time is drawing near. But do we realize it? Are we aware of the things happening behind the scenes that could cost us our paycheck? If you aren't, then please pay close attention to this episode. Questions will be asked, but only you have the right answers.

Blizzarding Idiots

Fri, 13 Jan 2017 03:30:00 +0000

Yup, it snowed this week. And as expected, everyone from the district manager to the customers lost their damn minds. And who better to dissect their idiocy than TRB! Featuring the classic snowstorm phone calls ("Are you open?", "Are you coming in?"), the moron who wants an employee to come shovel their driveway, DMs who say "the roads aren't THAT bad", a few Fuck You Notes, and unispiring inspirational quotes, this weeks episode has it all! So grab a cold beer (or enjoy your leftover bread and milk), kick back and relax, as The Ranty Bastard discusses and destroys this week in retail hell!

Check out our sponsor, dickatyourdoor.com! Chocolate dicks have been flying across the country as people send the love/hate to that "special" person in their lives. And when you use promo code "couch" at checkout, you'll get the handwritten note upgrade for free! So express yourself with the gift of dick, and hopefully you're around when they literally "eat a dick".

Drop a 5-star iTunes review for The Retail Rant, as well as the rest of the #couchpartycrew. And download that Couch Party app for your Android device to get nine of the best independent podcasts out there. It's FREE and totally AWESOME!

When The Going Gets Tough...

Fri, 06 Jan 2017 01:51:15 +0000

Hey there boys and girls, Ranty's back! After a brief Christmas hiatus, TRB has returned to what he does best - spreading the retail hate! After a quick recap of the shit show known as 2016, it's back to ranting and raving on this episode. Corporate, customers, apps and coupons will never be safe once The Ranty Bastard gets a hold of them! So kick back, relax, enjoy a well deserved drink, and throw on someone else's nametag!

Sponsors rule! Especially when they send out chocolate dicks to both friend and foe! So check out dickatyourdoor.com, and use the promo code "COUCH" to get a free handwritten note upgrade to go along with the "Eat a dick" message insode that beautiful box!

Haven't downloaded the Couch Party app yet? Well get your ass to the Google Play Store and get it on your Android device fo FREE! Nine of the best independent podcasts all in one tap of the finger! Did I mention it's FREE?!?!?!

Loyalty Schmoyalty

Fri, 23 Dec 2016 05:00:00 +0000

Merry Christmas to all my retail brethren! It's break time for TRB, which means it's time to dig into the vault and bring you one of the very first episodes! Forgive the audio, as this was originally the fifth episode of the show, in a time where production, editing and decent mics didn't exist. But the ranting was just as strong as ever! In this classic rewind, you'll hear about the hatred of a loyalty card, speakerphone assholes, haggling hags and more! So take a break yourself, crack open a cold beer (or a warm one, who am I to judge?!), and take a trip down memory lane with The Ranty Bastard. And here's to hoping that we all get what we want for Christmas - someone else's nametag!

Mrs. Ranty's Fuck You Notes

Fri, 16 Dec 2016 19:05:37 +0000

I uploaded the wrong Fuck You Notes last night, so enjoy this quick little standalone episode featuring Mrs. Ranty and lots of fuck yous!

Retailasaurus Rex

Fri, 16 Dec 2016 04:04:57 +0000

Closing out 2016 this week, TRB is joined by the mastermind behind retailanonymous.com, Rex! Of course he's wearing someone else's nametag, but the stories are real. We discuss the three C's that suck a retail workers soul dry (customers, coupons, and corporate), recount some tales that have been submitted to the site, retailanonymous.com itself, and get the scoop on why Rex was recently fired. And there's a special surprise at the end, as we learn what the first thing Rex did after his termination! So strap in, grab your favorite beverage, and prepare to have TRB and Rex invade your ear spaces with retail fuckery, all while wearing someone else's nametag!

Big thanks to our sponsor, dickatyourdoor.com - the perfect gag (literally?) gift for that "special" someone in your life. And when you use the promo code "couch" at checkout, you now get TWO bonuses! Not only can you add the handwritten, personalized note for free, but you can also receive a festive holiday box to house that chocolate dong delicacy. So get to dickatyourdoor.com and sling that dick! Because @DickAtYourDoor guarantees that it will melt in their mouth, not in their mailbox!

All things social!

Rex - @retailblogsite, retailanonymous.com

TRB - @The_Retail_Rant

Need a last minute gift? Broke as hell? Well give your friends the power of podcasts by having them download the Couch Party app for Android! A one stop shop for nine of the best independent podcasts, packed with hours of content! and it's all FREE!

Get it here!

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.andromo.dev480026.app437481&hl=en

Sean And Jeremy Rule The Rant

Fri, 09 Dec 2016 03:35:27 +0000

You asked for it, and boy are you going to get it! That's right, Sean William Brown takes over The Retail Rant Podcast this week, and brings along his old LP buddy, Jeremy Blake. We get stories that didn't make the cut in Sean's last book, tales from the LP office, the show's first ever "Eiffel Tower" reference and much, much more. It's a good time (with some occasional phone issues, so please forgive us) as the guys give us a glimpse into the loss prevention life, which isn't always about catching shoplifters. Kick back and enjoy!

Do that social shit!!!

Sean - @SWilliamBrown33

Jeremy - who the fuck knows? The guy refuses to tweet!

And remember that there's more than one way to support this show as well as the entire Couch Party Crew! Download our Android app for all the best content for FREE, then drop off some 5-star reviews under the Christmas tree for us to unwrap! And if you want to have someone open up a very special gift this holiday season, be sure to visit our sponsor - dickatyourdoor.com! Sling that chocolate dick anonymously to someone that truly needs to "eat a dick"! And use promo code COUCH to add a personalized, handwritten note to really get your point across!

The Fire of Hades

Fri, 02 Dec 2016 03:26:24 +0000

Another Black Friday under our belts, and another episode of The Retail Rant podcast to help with your retail PTSD. TRB is joined this week by a new friend of the show, sharing his trials and tribulations of the retail universe. Listen in as @Retail_Hades shares tales of cell phone horrors, things that can't be unseen, and the never ending asshole nature of the customer! Throw in a few Fuck You Notes (I love the wild boar one, and you will do), and some anonymous dicks being delivered across the country, and this show has everything a growing retail slave needs!

Do the social thing, and follow TRB's guest on Twiter - @Retail_Hades

So hey, if that Galaxy S7 didn't set you on fire yet, be sure to download the Couch Party app from the Google Play Store! Get nine of the best independent podcasts available in one handy click on your Android device. and the best part? IT'S FREE!!

And be sure to get your orders in to dickatyourdoor.com so you can finally tell that dickhead district manager or corporate ass monkey to "eat a dick" in style! Presented in a box with a bow and the "eat a dick" message emblazoned on the inside, this 1 lb. chocolate dong is shipped anonymously to your nemesis! And when you use the promo code "Couch", you get a free, personalized, handwritten note to help drive home the point that they need more dick in their diet! Give that prick a dick!

Dicks Galore

Fri, 25 Nov 2016 02:04:37 +0000

What an accurate name for a Black Friday show! But instead of talking about the deal seeking dicks that are surrounding us today, TRB wants to make you laugh and forget that misery. And how will he accomplish that? By bringing back two guests who make dicks their business! Returning to The Retail Rant, Laine and Muse are bringing laughter, dick jokes, and some cringe inducing DVD titles this week to help you forget about the shitty shifts you're working this weekend. Along with some retail stories that will make you say "Maybe my job isn't THAT bad", this isn't your typical Retail Rant!

Do the social thing!

Laine - @sexstorewoes

Muse - @MusingsInRetail

And support our sponsor by exacting your revenge with a phallic treat from dickatyourdoor.com! They'll anonymously mail your sworn enemies an overly detailed chocolate dick with a box, a bow, and that "eat a dick" you've been suppressing for years. And when you use promo code "Couch", they'll throw in a free handwritten note with your personalized message! So get to dickatyourdoor.com, follow them on Twitter (@DickAtYourDoor) and make that one person you can't stand eat a dick!

Surviving the Fuckery

Wed, 23 Nov 2016 19:37:37 +0000

BONUS EPISODE!!! TRB here, and I just wanted to pop in real quick and offer some survival tips to all of the unfortunate souls stuck working on Thanksgiving and Black Friday. A little teaser for Friday's episode, and some things to help you get through the two shittiest days of the year in retail hell (yes, worse than inventory day). Stock up on chili and Monster, listen in and you'll see why!

So make sure you've got someone else's nametag ready to go, and a very happy Thanksgiving to all of you sharing the misery of retail with me.

Black Thursday Lives Matter

Fri, 18 Nov 2016 04:05:29 +0000

Well, it's that time of the year again. And not that "most wonderful time of the year" you're already hearing twenty times a day. We are one week away from the worst day in retail hell, Black Friday. But that's not good enough any more. Now we have Black Thursday, which is even worse. Listen in as TRB dispenses the hate for companies that value profits over employees having time with families, and the disdain for the upper management that makes these shit ass decisions. Of course there's customers to bash as well, and it's all on this week's episode of The Retail Rant!

Got a shitty boss or a coworker you hate? Always wanted to tell them to eat a dick, but feared the repercussions? Well now, you can finally strike back with dickatyourdoor.com! You can ANONYMOUSLY send them a lovely 6" chocolate dick in a box and encourage them to finally eat that dick! They will never know who sent it (unless you slip up, so don't dummy), and have the pleasure of knowing that you were finally able to offer them that dick to chow down on. And when you use the SPECIAL PROMO CODE "Couch", the team at Dick At Your Door will include a FREE handwritten note so you can say whatever you want!

Sponsor site - dickatyourdoor.com

Sponsor Twitter - @dickatyourdoor

The Ranty Bastard - @The_Retail_Rant

The Laine and Trey Takeover!

Fri, 11 Nov 2016 01:53:08 +0000

Wow! 75 episodes and still going strong. And none of this would be possible without you, the fans. Thanks so much for listening and subscribing over the last year and a half. So to celebrate this milestone, TRB has decided to turn this #FucktardFriday into a #FanTakeoverFriday. Taking the show over this week are two great guest hosts, Trey (@ObservingRetail) and Laine (@sexstorewoes). Listen in as they talk about their experiences in retail, the idiot customers they get to deal with, and the unrealistic expectations of the shopper as they search for the ultimate dildo.

Do you want to take over a future episode of The Retail Rant? Let TRB know via Twitter (@The_Retail_Rant), and we'll see if you can fill Ranty's shoes as well as these two do! And don't forget to check out the rest of the #CouchPartyCrew on the Couch Party app (FREE in the Google Play Store)., which now includes last week's guest , Matt from the Let Me Tell Ya podcast!

Check out Tre's website, observationsinretail.com, for tales of the shopper in the wild, and some of the best retail comics you'll find! And if that's not enough, be sure to check out theSKU.org by Sean William Brown and Mike Bookseller as well!

So it's time to kick back, relax, grab a cold one, leave a 5-star review for The Retail Rant on iTunes, but most importantly, do us all one big favor and make sure you're wearing someone else's nametag!

Mopping With Matt

Fri, 04 Nov 2016 01:22:28 +0000

Can't get enough of one maniac ranting about retail hell? Well how about two! So this week TRB is joined by Matt from the Let Me Tell Ya podcast, where they discuss wrestling, and more importantly, their utter disdain for retail hell. Serving up some of his own tales from the register, Matt talks about how to properly give change to a bitchy woman, how mopping is great for avoiding customers, and the dumb shit coming from their mouths in an unoriginal loop. TRB of course throws in his take, and a great episode unfolds for your weekly therapy session.

So kick back, crack a cold one, leave Matt and TRB some iTunes love (Matt insists they be 5-stars), and most importantly, do us all one big favor, and make sure you're wearing someone else's nametag!

Do the Twitter thing!

Matt - @Murdock7x4

Grant - @grantthegreat4

TRB - @The_Retail_Rant

Binders and Buggery

Fri, 28 Oct 2016 01:12:57 +0000

Flying solo again this week, TRB serves up a few phrases heard in retail hell that make you want to scream. From people seeking the disapproving ear of management, those that say "It's October, not December!", and a shoutout to the companies already saying no to Black Thursday, it's all in this episode! Also a little advice when confronted by a desperado, and the return of The Escape Pod! So grab those earbuds and prepare to nod your head on this newest edition of The Retail Rant!

Be sure to drop off a 5-star review on iTunes for this show and any of your other favorite podcasts. It's free and easy, and the easiest way to let your pals behind the mic know you're digging what they do. And if you haven't yet (you probably have by now, so you can ignore this part) be sure you download the FREE Couch Party app for Android devices!

Ranty Travis

Fri, 21 Oct 2016 02:31:29 +0000

Us retail employees think that dealing with just a couple bathrooms in a retail setting is pretty bad, right? Imagine of you were responsible for FORTY!!! Well, joining TRB this week is a man who is. Travis Sloan of the After 6 Podcast drops by to chronicle his misadventures at Wal-Mart, his "shitty" job, and what it is about a self checkout that seems to attract the idiots. All this, some Fuck You Notes, and a few rants worthy of rewinding! So listen and enjoy, but first, you gotta be sure you're wearing someone else's nametag!

Check out Travis and his co-host Adam Christopher on iTunes, after6podcast.com, and follow them on Twitter!

Travis (Twitter - @theTMFS)

Adam (Twitter - @bitesizedAC) (Twitch - After6podcast)

The After 6 Podcast (@after6podcast)

Get that Couch Party app if you haven't yet! It's the easiest way to get all nine members of the #CouchPartyCrew in one tap of your finger! It's all FREE, and all for YOU! The crew loves to hear from you, so make sure you drop a 5-star review for your favorite shows wherever you're listening from!

Let's Get Drunk and Talk Retail

Fri, 14 Oct 2016 01:57:19 +0000

TRB is joined this week by a fellow member of the #CouchPartyCrew, Dexter from the Let's Get Drunk and Talk Comics podcast! We talk minimum wage, discuss the assholes you experience on the way to work, and review fine adult beverages! Dexter tells us a bit about himself, and positions himself for a return to the show to tell his tales from retail hell.

So kick back and grab a cold one (we did), and enjoy the show! But most importantly, be sure that you're wearing someone else's nametag!!!

Want to follow Dexter on Twitter? @jealousofregis Need to catch up on his show? @drunkcomicsfans Want to listen in? Find him and the rest of the #CouchPartyCrew on the totally FREE and AWESOME Couch Party app for Android!

Enjoy this show, Let's Get Drunk and Talk Comics, or any of your other favorite CP podcasts? Be sure to drop off a 5 star review over on iTunes!

Enema of The State

Fri, 07 Oct 2016 02:08:04 +0000

This week, TRB is joined by a good friend of the show, and a fellow slave to the (meager) retail paycheck. Listen in as @RiteAidProblems describes some of the horrors of retail pharmacy from the front end, and a few of the things customers do with their back end! She even manages to tell a story that combines TRB's least favorite things: bathroom abuse and thieves. So grab your favorite beverage and prepare for a good time, talking about bad things.

Haven't downloaded the Couch Party app yet? Well get your ass to the Google Play Store and put it on your favorite Android device already! Official home of the #CouchPartyCrew, it gives you nine of the best podcasts available in one convenient press of the finger. And did we mention it's totally FREE?!?! So get it now and drown out those bitching customers!

Drop by iTunes and leave The Retail Rant a sappy 5-star review, and be sure to follow our guest this week on Twitter (@RiteAidProblems). But most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

Wafflemaker Wankers

Fri, 30 Sep 2016 02:08:35 +0000

Yet another week has passed in retail hell, which has brought you back to your weekly therapy session. On this episode, TRB discusses how the drive to work is bad enough without the swerving douchebag, why I won't hold items for people, your retail escape pod, and much more! Also, a new side of TRB is revealed on his new blog, therantybastard.wordpress.com. So kick back, grab a cold one, and enjoy!

Enjoy the show? Be sure to leave a 5-star review on iTunes, and support the #CouchPartyCrew by downloading the Couch Party app! Nine amazing podcasts, all in one convenient tap of the finger! And it's all FREE!

A big thanks to Adam and Travis from the After 6 Podcast for having Judge Ranty on last week! Look forward to hearing from Travis on a future episode, along with a slew of brand new guests coming soon!

Beers and Loops

Fri, 23 Sep 2016 04:00:33 +0000

Ranty doesn't have a drinking problem, he has a retail problem! From the endless loop of soft rock that is the elevator music of retail life, to the thieving bastards who make a living off of lenient return policies, TRB is going to attack them all this week. Add in a few new beers and a favorite musician, and you've got the makings of a new Retail Rant.

And take notes if you're trying to escape retail hell, as we continue our new segment, "Get to the Escape Pod". Ranty will guide you step by step on how to get out from behind that cash register and (hopefully) from in front of bitchy customers.

Be sure to check out all the friends of the show, from the amazing #CouchPartyCrew (all available for free on the Couch Party app for Android), to awesome shows like the After 6 Podcast and Steve Arce's Effinbe podcast. Like 'em? Drop off a 5-star review on iTunes and show them some love!

Get to The Choppa!!!

Fri, 16 Sep 2016 11:18:11 +0000

Thank you NFL! You have redirected the Sunday church crowd to yelling at their TVs and not shouting at someone behind a cash register! It's a small reprieve, but we will gladly accept it. TRB runs through a myriad of topics this week, from the (hopefully) impending end of sweaty money, to the daily horror of the debit/credit card and the return of the Google Asshole app. So strap in and let your retail misery melt away!

Got that new Samsung phone? Then get to the Google Play store and download the Couch Party app. It's the official home to nine of the best independent podcasts that will both educate and entertain! It's priced just right for the poor retail worker, because it's all FREE!!!

Once you've enjoyed this episode, swing over to iTunes and drop off a 5-star review for this show and all your other favorite podcasts! It's simple, quick, and the best way to support your favorite shows!

So kick back, grab your beverage of choice, but most importantly, be sure you're wearing someone else's nametag!

The 9/11 Ad

Sun, 11 Sep 2016 14:19:00 +0000

Straight to the point here. Fuck Miracle Mattress of San Antonio. Last episode I talked about the ridiculous nature of the "holiday ads", and then these fucks took it to the unspeakable level. Disgusting, distasteful, and worse than anything I have seen. Judge for yourself, but I'm pretty sure we both know the verdict.

Give It Away Now

Fri, 09 Sep 2016 03:04:51 +0000

Ever wondered what kind of "training" those customer service phone reps get? Why does upper management freak out over non-existent hurricanes? Maybe you're curious as to the meaning behind Labor Day (hint - it isn't about "the big sale"). Well TRB has it all covered on this week's episode of The Retail Rant! So come on down to Rantyville and take a ride through yet another week of retail fuckery!

Check out the rest of the #CouchPartyCrew, and download the TOTALLY FREE Couch Party app for Android. The best way to listen to the best podcasts out there.

Enjoy the show? Then let TRB know with a 5-star iTunes review! It's the easiest, most cost effective thing you can do to support your favorite podcasts!

So kick back, grab a cold one, and enjoy the show. But above all, do us one big favor, and wear someone else's fucking nametag!

Confessions of a Retail Whore

Fri, 02 Sep 2016 02:48:20 +0000

This week's episode features another author from the realm of retail hell, Jess E. Her new book focuses on the 28 different ways that determine if a customer is an ass, as well as some snark that even made TRB laugh! We delve into not only the book itself, but also some personal experiences that lead us each to our creative outlets. Don't mind the synthesized voice-over - Jess takes the anonymous thing very seriously.

So be sure to pick up a copy of Confessions of a Retail Whore: 28 Ways to Determine If You Are a Complete Ass on amazon.com. And if you are a Kindle UNlimited member - it's free! So go get it!

Are you listening on the Couch Party app yet? By now you should be, because A. It's been out for almost a year B. It's FREE and C. Where else will you get the 9 best indy pods out there? Download it now!

And as always, your charitable donation of a 5-star review can be left on iTunes. It costs nothing but a few minutes of your time to support TRB and the whole #CouchPartyCrew, so show us some love! And once you do that, treat yourself with a frosty beverage, kick back and enjoy a new episode. But always make sure that you're wearing someone else's muthafuckin nametag!!

Full Body Tackle

Fri, 26 Aug 2016 03:15:38 +0000

Have you ever wondered what loss prevention people do when they're not stopping shoplifters? Well we have got the answers on this episode as TRB is joined once again by Sean William Brown! Coming back for his third appearance, we are finally able to talk about his newest book, "WalMart: I Don't Belong Here". Join in as we discuss Sean's time in WalMart LP, and some of the crazy shit that goes down almost daily in America's biggest retailer. And it's not all just stopping petty theft friends, it's way better than that. From thieves with raging hard-ons to NFL-grade tackles, Sean tells some of the craziest tales you will ever hear leave the LP office.

So after listening, be sure to pick up your copy of "Walmart: I Don't Belong Here", which is currently available in eBook format on Amazon and BarnesAndNoble.com. Sean was even kind enough to keep the prices low so that every retail employee in America can afford it! And for the funniest tweets from "the back", be sure to follow him on Twitter (@dearcustomer).

Of course, please continue to support the #CouchPartyCrew by downloading the Couch Party app for Android. You'll be listening to nine of the best independent podcasts in no time, and it is still 100% FREE! And if you like a show from the crew, be sure to show them some love with a 5-star iTunes review.

So grab a cold one, plug in those earbuds, but most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

*DISCLAIMER - Yes, TRB's audio sounds like he's in a 4'X4' room. Apparently a certain little Ranty turned up the FX knob when I wasn't looking. I would have re-recorded this episode, but our schedules didn't work out. However, Sean more that makes up for it , I assure you.

The Heat

Fri, 19 Aug 2016 04:04:25 +0000

Heat and humidity have a very bad effect on the two brain cells that most customers have, and this week was no exception. With soaring temperatures and rising stupidity levels, retail hell takes on a new meaning. In this episode, TRB talks about a customer who left his mom to die in a hot car, why effort is maxed out when pay is, how useless "employee discounts" are, and much more retail fuckery.

The Couch Party app is the way! The way to catch nine of the best independent podcasts all in one place that is! Download it now from the Play Store for the best content and personalities, and I guarantee it will make your day stuck at a cash register a little more bearable.

So crack a cold one, drop by iTunes and leave TRB a 5-star review, and most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

P.S. Next week's episode is a special one, so be sure not to miss it!

Retail Olympics

Mon, 15 Aug 2016 23:52:00 +0000

Feel like you should win gold for dodging that customer as you dash for your break? Ever thought that you earned a medal by enduring a marathon of insults from a client? Well if so, then this week's episode is for you! From the "Retail Olympics" and the desire to slap a customer, to the people that think we go to "school" just to work this job, TRB has got it all covered on this installment of The Retail Rant podcast.

Don't forget about the rest of the #CouchPartyCrew and download the Couch Party app for 9 of the best independent podcasts availanle! It's 100% free, so even a retail employee can afford it (admit it, we're all broke).

So kick back, grab a cold one, and most importantly, be sure you're wearing someone else's nametag!

Retail Olympics

Fri, 12 Aug 2016 03:38:28 +0000

Don't forget about the rest of the #Couch party crew, and download the Couch Party app for 9 of the best independent podcasts available! It's 100% free, so even a retail employee can afford it (admit it, we're all broke).

So kick back, grab a cold one, and most importantly, be sure you're wearing someone else's nametag!

It Has Begun

Fri, 05 Aug 2016 03:06:30 +0000

Do you already have Christmas products in your back room? Well I hate to tell you, the worst part of the "retail calendar" has begun. As if it's some portal into a deeper part of retail hell, it has opened its doors and is waiting to swallow our souls. But have no fear, TRB is here to fight back on this week's Retail Rant.

The pain in the ass known as conference calls, customers who love talking politics, and the co-workers that think the fridge is a buffet, it's all here in this show. So turn your phone down low, sit in that isolated corner of the break room, and don't mind the people staring as you enjoy a laugh at their expense! When you're done, leave a 5-star iTunes review, and be sure you're wearing someone else's nametag before you clock back in.

Support this show and the rest of the amazing #CouchPartyCrew by telling a friend about the Couch Party app for Android. The shows are great, the content is awesome, and it's all FREE!!!

Making That 1%

Fri, 29 Jul 2016 01:40:07 +0000

Busted your ass all year long? Made sales plan by 10%? Signed up the most loyalty cards? Don't worry, corporate will give you a 1% raise, and TRB will tell you why to throw it back in their faces. Why do the idiots/lazy/ass kissers always get promoted? Because they fear people like us. All this and a discussion with @ODProbs2k16 about back to school, all in this week's episode of The Retail Rant!

Got some 5-star reviews laying around that you want to use? Throw them TRB's way on iTunes! Throw that love around, because we know we don;t have the money (we work retail).

Check out the best 9-pack of independent podcasts out there by downloading the Couch Party app! And check out the #CouchPartyCrew's new home - smartasspods.com

Pokemon GTFO

Fri, 22 Jul 2016 01:27:57 +0000

This week Ranty flies solo, and takes a swipe at the swipers. Not Tinder, not card readers, but Pokemon GO. People that think that a retail store is the place to be catching a Charizard or that the parking lot is the best place to be fixated to a phone screen, you should not be playing this game in a retail environment!!! There's also a message from long time fan Manager John (@managerjohn), who uncovers a new breed of LMA. And last but not least, TRB brings you "Fuck You Notes", a new interactive segment of the show.

Have a "Fuck You Note" from your retail job? Call the Ranty Hotline at (810) 373-9790 and leave your message to be played on the show!

Download the Couch Party app for Android, and get 9 of the best damn podcasts out there, all for FREE!!!

So enjoy this episode, kick back, leave The Retail Rant a 5-star iTunes review, and as always, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

Effin People

Fri, 15 Jul 2016 02:55:07 +0000

This week, we delve into the food and beverage industry with the host of the Effinbe Podcast, Steve Arce. He tells tales of customer service hell from over a decade in the business, and we discuss how to solve the problem of customer stupidity. We launch into the rant-osphere on topics like coupons, apps, and all kinds of general idiocy. So prepare yourself for lots of profanity, lots of fun, and a great show!

Be sure to support Steve by subscribing to his show on iTunes and leaving a 5-star review. Follow him on Twitter (@effinbepodcast) and catch up on the problems facing both sides of the counter.

Don't have the Couch Party app yet? Well get it for FREE on the Google Play Store already! Get access to 9 of the best independent podcasts available today. And drop some commentary over at smartasspods.com - the official home of the #CouchPartyCrew !

Mamary Overload

Fri, 08 Jul 2016 01:58:49 +0000

Joining TRB this week in her return to the show, it's Heather D (@IB4ECeptAfterC) to discuss why she is still drinking 2 days after 4th of July! Customers that make up their own post-holiday sales, TRB gets stuff thrown at him, and a absurd interaction that one of TRB's friends had this week. It's all in this week's episode!

You should not only download the Couch Party app, but you should also leave some 5-star love for the #CouchPartyCrew on iTunes! It's the easiest and best way to support the crew, and continue to help us in our plan for podcast domination!

So plug in those earbuds (the boss might not like what we have to say), find somewhere that customers can't find you (bathrooms aren't as safe as you may think), but most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

If It Ain't Broke....

Fri, 01 Jul 2016 01:47:55 +0000

Bookstores aren't for interviews! Or are they? TRB is joined this week by @MikeBookseller for some insight into what it's like working in a "big box" bookstore. From cafe interviews and homeless hangouts, to the manager getting beat up and that one overly religious person we've all worked with, you'll find it all in this episode!

Be sure to check out and support Mike's side projects, theSKU.org and krrobar.com. He brings the misery of retail hell straight to the funny pages 4 days a week, and he'll have you realizing that his artwork is your reality every day!

DOWNLOAD THE COUCH PARTY APP!!!!! It's totally free, and packed with 9 of the best damn podcasts that you'll find in one place, all for FREE!!! Subscribe, and be sure to drop some those 5-star review on 'em!

So let's kick back, relax, leave The Ranty Bastard a 5-star iTunes review, but most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

Extra Butter, Diet Coke

Fri, 24 Jun 2016 02:18:12 +0000

This week's episode is a look into a sector of the "customer service" field that many of us may take for granted - the movie theater. TRB is joined by the host of the Digital Men - The Ultimate Rush and Prog Podcast, Ryan Howard (@howard_gregryan). From the underbelly of the concession stand, Ryan shows us that no matter what kind of industry you're in, customers will always find a way to be a douche.

Be sure to check out Digital Men - The Ultimate Rush and Prog Podcast on iTunes, and leave them a positive review (remember, 1 star anonymous reviews are for pussies, so don't do it!). And be sure to support the #CouchPartyCrew by downloading the Couch Party app for Android. You'll find 9 of the best damn shows out there for FREE, including this show, Couch Party, Miserable Retail Slave, Jake and Tom Conquer the World, The Nerd Rage Podcast, Project Archivist, The Grime Lords, The Mixed Feelings Podcast, and our newest addition to the crew, Let's Get Drunk and Talk Comics!

So kick back, shake off the working all "weekend" blues, drop a 5 star iTunes review for TRB, but most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

Model Citizens

Fri, 17 Jun 2016 04:41:41 +0000

This week TRB is joined again by Tara (@tara_atrandom) to talk about a ridiculous news story from the past week. There is no part of ANY retail job that says "Hey, take a beating in the parking lot after work", yet one of our fellow customer service workers had to endure just that. But not from one or two people, but three upstanding citizens from Sandusky, Ohio. So kick back and enjoy an "in-depth report" (insert sarcastic comment here) from The Ranty News Network. And when you're done, drop a five star review on iTunes (thanks to all of you who have)!

Be sure to check out Tara and Nash on live.radiodeadair.com every Monday night starting at 9pm for a look into life with cats, retro TV shows and music, and of course the What The Fuck Is Wrong With You segment!

This show is also available to you for FREE on the Couch Party app, the FREE home of this show and many great others. Download it now to hear the latest episodes of The Miserable Retail Slave, Couch Party, Jake and Tom Conquer the World, The Nerd Rage Podcast, Project Archivist, The Grimelords, and those two slanderous, scandalous women at The Mixed Feelings Podcast. Eight great shows for the price of NOTHING!!!!

Should I Put It In Yet?

Fri, 10 Jun 2016 03:30:18 +0000

VERY SPECIAL GUEST EPISODE!!! This week TRB is joined by the one, the only, Sean William Brown! The author of "Dear Customer" makes his return to talk about the awkwardness behind all those chip reader comments, how much role plays suck, and tell us about his newest endeavor, thesku.org! We also take a sneak peek into Sean's second book, "Wal-Mart, I Don't Belong Here", which will be covered in depth in a future episode.

So kick back, grab a copy of "Dear Customer" on Amazon/B&N (or wherever you buy your books), and be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

Hell In A Cell (Phone Store)

Fri, 03 Jun 2016 01:47:25 +0000

Join TRB and @fedupphonerep this week as we chat about what it's like dealing with the public and the one thing they can't live without - their cell phone. From ex-girlfriends trying to dig up old texts, to the idiot who thought YouTube was a reliable source to repair an iPhone, it's all here this week!

Be sure to support the Couch Party Crew by downloading the Couch Party app in the Google Play Store. In addition to this fine program, you will also get Miserable Retail Slave, Couch Party, The Nerd Rage Podcast, Drunken Dork, Project Archivist, The Mixed Feelings Podcast, and The Grimelords. It's all awesome, and it's all free!!!!

Anniversary Episode!

Tue, 31 May 2016 05:22:58 +0000

Well, it's officially been one year of The Retail Rant podcast, and what better way to celebrate than by revisiting the episode that started it all. From bad audio and no format at all, to lighting a cigarette on air every 2 minutes, this pile of shit turned in to the premier podcast for anyone who has ever experienced retail hell. So strap on your headphones and take a trip down memory lane with TRB, but don't leave an iTunes review on this one!

And a big thanks to everyone who has interacted with the show over the past year, my fantastic guests, the Couch Party Crew (who for some reason added me to their app despite this episode), and every follower who likes and RTs my daily retail bullshit. Year number 2 is going to be great, and I look forward to continuing to bring you all a profanely entertaining look into retail hell.

The Overtimes, They Are A Changin'

Fri, 27 May 2016 05:10:47 +0000

This week's episode takes a look at the new overtime laws that go into effect later this year. TRB discusses how it could (and probably will) suck for a lot of managers, and how it will likely impact everyone in the retail world. But don't despair, even though it's a serious topic, it will be delivered in true Ranty Bastard fashion - lots of profanity and with a distinct hatred for HR! So kick back, leave a 5-star iTunes review, and most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

Tell your friends to subscribe on iTunes or to download the Couch Party app, and spread the good word about how bad retail really is. And be sure to check out every offering from the Couch Party Crew!

The Kindness Killer

Fri, 20 May 2016 01:52:00 +0000

The Retail Rant turns 50 this week! (Well, fifty weeks that is.) In usual ranty fashion, TRB serves up his take on the world known as retail hell. On this week's episode, the guys out there will learn what happens when you slip an underage girl your number, how TRB's soul has died from "kindness", and the best lies that customers have told retail employees when returning merchandise. A big thanks to everyone that sent in their comments on Twitter (@The_Retail_Rant)!

Be sure to support the Couch Party Crew by downloading the Couch Party app on Android. It's totally free, and packed full with eight of the best independent podcasts out there! And take a minute to check out out our new website, smartasspods.com! And vote #TRB2016 in the Couch Party primaries!

So kick back, leave a 5-star iTunes review (50 weeks and only 10 reviews? Come on!), and most importantly, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

Third Shift, Not Third Rate

Fri, 13 May 2016 03:25:03 +0000

Joining TRB this week for his foray into retail hell, "gas station gal" (Twitter @thirdshiftchick) explains the rigors and stupidity that involve working the overnight shift. You'll also learn the three things that a customer should NEVER say to a retail employee. From late night drug dealers, to Canadians trying to buy gas in a "foreign" country, you'll find it all in this week's edition of The Retail Rant podcast!

And not only can you find the show on iTunes and the Couch Party app, but visit the new #CouchPartyCrew website, smartasspods.com! Leave a note for the crew and vote for your Couch Party Presidential nominee (hint, it's TRB).

Enjoy, but as always, be sure to wear someone else's nametag!

Closing Time

Fri, 06 May 2016 02:05:52 +0000

It's been one hell of a day, and you've been ready to leave for the last 2 hours. You finally lock the doors, escort the LMAs out, and breath a sigh of relief. But then it hits you. The store is wrecked. You sigh harder. Well, it's that second, prolonged sigh that brings you this week's edition of The Retail Rant podcast. See why TRB hates closing, and all the little surprises that rear their heads after locking up. So kick back, leave a 5 star iTunes review, and as always, wear someone else's nametag.

And be sure to check out the new home of the #CouchPartyCrew at smartasspods.com. Leave a comment, show some love, and support TRB in the Couch Party Elections! #TRB2016 for President!!!

The Venti Floor Therapy Session

Fri, 29 Apr 2016 01:56:11 +0000

TRB is joined this week by another good friend of the show, Tara (@tara_atrandom), to talk about the similarities within the retail world. You will learn that customers can be a pain in the ass, especially in one particular retail setting. We also chat about our disdain for the American shopping mall, as well as how work can make you hate a celebrity. And you'll see why not everyone in the Couch Party Crew should run for president (hint - they're all running).

A big thank you to everyone who took time out to show support for our friend Seattle Amanda (@mandasaures_rex). It is greatly appreciated by Amanda as well as TRB!

Download the Couch Party app and get all seven podcasts from the Couch Party Crew! You'll get great programs like Miserable Retail Slave, The Drunken Dork, Couch Party (duh!), The Nerd Rage Podcast, and our newest additions; The Grime Lords and the Mixed Feelings Podcast! So get to the Google Play Store and get it NOW!

Bounce, Bounce, Bounce

Fri, 22 Apr 2016 01:26:03 +0000

Peel back the onion this week, and let the tears flow as TRB discusses the most outdated and irritating method of payment - the check. From their many negatives to the few positives, and a lot of scams in between, listen in while The Ranty Bastard pours out his disdain for checkbooks in retail.

Also, please support our good friend of the show, Seattle Amanda (@mandasaures_rex), as she goes through a very rough time and some bad health issues. Be it a message to help her through the day, or a donation to her razoo.com fundraiser (Healthy is a Goal - Amanda Rhoades), please show our friend some love. Because once you've experienced retail hell, we are ALL family.