Centaur dudes are just going to be centaur dudes. You can’t stop them! They are all legs and arms and head and they’re going to one-shot that fuckin’ vulture in the face and they know they rule for doing so. Centaur Dude (Centy to his friends) plays Call of Duty! He knows how to noscope a n00b! He knows the way to impress a Centaur Lady and her Centaur Immediate Family and he’s pulling out all the stops! It’s just that damned Centaur Baby who steals the scene. He’s going to have to think fast if he wants to keep their Centaur Favor.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s starting to be suspicious if “ohana” really means family. Aaron Littleton is your (certified) co-host and he’s wise to think that maybe we don’t want to show the extraterrestrial aliens human art if they’re already willing to help us.

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It’s a Pickle Surprise! The Pickle Wizard of 1989 had to go to great lengths to get this made. You don’t make this level of powerfulness without a life on the line. His life. And he put it there for your sake. Thank the Pickle Wizard everyday, children. May you eventually find the pickle and may you be surprised by it, gentle human.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is activating his second brain for this. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he keep ordering from the back of the wrong magazines.

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Look, Frutiger Aero is back in everywhere! It looks like how want to feel, first of all! Sure, we don’t exactly want to go back to Windows ME and experience the pain points of early multimedia hell but the feel! The feel! We want to vibe back in it! And it tastes great too! You should put it into a smoothie and sip on it after a workout! Don’t worry about the microplastics! Not yet, anyway!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s setting up a conflict that will make us the prime suspects in an incident. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and the CD of Windows ME HD doesn’t even crack the top five of things devoured.

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No matter your age, I think we all can agree we can appreciate a good piece of large industrial equipment. For one, it’s big. That’s neat! Second, it moves around. Also great! And it cleans?! Well, as a now adult I love that too! You can spray mist in it for some reason too, just in case you need to turn the night into a Silent Hill scenario. Get a little fog going. Create an atmosphere. Just one 50% coupon and we’ll be set for LIFE. All we need now is a case of Dr. Pepper for the bees we’re going to get.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s establishing the Yeah No Yeah Precedent officially. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s unsupervised in the State Fair Tank!

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Sometimes you just need to explode a house. If you’re a reality show, that time is eventually going to come. You get a big enough budget and some of that is going to end up being dynamite. The comical kind. The Acme kind. And you’re going to have to store that somewhere, right? Might as well be in the house you’re tring to makeover for the show! Now let me just set up this camera for the family real quick and take a quick break on this plunger box for a bit. It’s okay! We got way more dynamite to go through! We can explode more houses soon too! For the ratings science, of course!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s definitely Patient Zero for something the Survey Call is not saying . Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and he’s pretty sure we know how to get rid of ghosts now.

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We want to be up front with this one: neither of us have actually watched Monk. We’re sorry! We hear it’s good! But we never did! And we’re not sure if 0% of you all also watch Monk or it is 100% but we’re willing to take that risk as we go into our pitch for our latest USA Network shows starring Tony Shalhoub. We couldn’t find him on Cameo to pitch them to him directly but we know he’s going to love it. He doesn’t even have to play a weird detective this time! It can be a weird other role! What we’re saying is, Tony: be yourself.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s sitting in the booth! John Hurst is your co-host and he wants to add too many character traits to this USA Network character show.

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You need some new shoes. Your old ones are no longer in-vogue. They’re trash, mockeries of mocassins! You wouldn’t even get out of bed for such a uncouth look! It’s time to go to saddle up your scarily huge baby bird and go down to Steve Madden Shoes where they know you by name because you keep your credit card on tab there just in case. They even don’t mind the chicken because it’s a ghost. But your neighbor sees you going to get your daily shoegaze and knows what that chicken still can do. Ghost Court will make you pay for your crimes. You just don’t even know it yet. Choose a side. Choose a style. Choose fashion.

John Hurst is your gHost for this week and he’s splitting the body into quadrants for math-like purposes! Aaron Littleton is your co-gHost and he can’t do anything about that so he’s not going to worry!

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Hey, look who’s back in town! It’s Aaron! And John! And Video Death Loop! And Ulysse! In Space! The gangs all here like you remembered them! Especially Ulysse, who hasn’t changed in 30 damn years! He’s still fighting space gods or greek gods in space or whatever. He’s also still drinking your beer and couch surfing across the universe. You wonder when he’s going to leave but he’s not moving and Oak Island is on its 5th hour and not by your decision. Ulysse, when are you going to pick up your life?!

His beard looks great though. Damn great.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s watching reality shows on Samsung TV Plus! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s counting the number of tanks in the garage before it becomes a hangar.

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Sisqo has a mission for you, and it starts with a simple word: “Thong”. Repeated multiple times, much like the catchphrase from another popular musician of the same era. Add a cello. A beach. A bunch of beautiful people. Make them dance. Get a helicopter. Go to a Godsmack show. Get kicked out of the Godsmack show. Whatever, you have a helicopter. You can go to any show in the tri-state area! Find another Godsmack show nearby. Land in the rafters. Listen to them sing “I Stand Alone” until they recognize you in the rafters. Flee from security in your helicopter. Another great day. Anyway, I swear we were talking about Sisqo in there somewhere.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s ready to become the dragon (and use the dragon among several music videos.) Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s going to buy a master blend of gummies from Target if he doesn’t stop looking at their page like right now AARON CLOSE THE TAB CLOSE IT CLO–

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Where did that Guitar Man come from? He was by our bed with a pick in his hand, ready to strum but was watching for us to awake. As soon as our eyes open, he starting singing and wailing about the wonders of corned beef and how much fun will be had if we get grandma to make it for us and runs away! And then he kidnaps up and whisks us away to Argentina where we live now! This happens every other weekend. We don’t even know where we’re really from anymore! But we sure got a lot of skymiles. And corned beef. Life isn’t all bad.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and his optimism about humanity’s fate in the existence vote is heartwarming and full of (regular) corn. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s placing those bets in Vegas while the odds are in our favor!

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It only takes a second“, they say! That takes several seconds to say, but on a second to feel the reprecussions! Everyone hanging onto your every word wondering what you mean by that when you only read it in a instructional safety video on the internet. You know you’re right but you don’t want to explain why. You don’t want to relieve the horrible atrocities of stunt actors and car crashes and throwing dummies onto random piles of sharp metal bits. You’re protecting them from your fate. You can’t even look at a lawnmower without thinking how you’d would have to force your foot into it through a rube goldberg scheme of accidental and purposeful mayhem. You leave the words hanging. They eventually get back to their coffee. You get back to your nightmares.

Anyway, the safety officer wants us to watch a new video! They said it would only take a second, so get in the ampitheater everyone!

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Awwww yeah, it’s snake skin shedding time! SSST for all those who are in the Snake know. Look at the green on that snake! It’s U.S. Treasury mint. Snakey’s got to be proud of that work! Even got a filmographer to show it in midaction! Check out each scale! Now the Snake is ready for the snake slither walk (Slightly heated.) Go work that slide, snake!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s getting in the tube early for Reasons(tm.) John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s dreaming about Snake Atlantis.

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It’s time for NASCAR. It’s time for Sponsorships! And it’s time for Kevin James to yell at you to make sure your engine is sufficient started!

Is it? Are you sure? Have you.. Have you turned the key? Is it one of those things where you need to keep it on your body and press the button for the car to turn on? Maybe check the gas? Oil? Windshield wiper fluid? Is the engine still not started yet? Uh, okay, Kevin James is looking *really* weird at us now. I don’t know, give him a hot dog before he runs away from this job. We gotta get him to say the words of NASCAR as we know it is OVER!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s waiting around to make sure the Grand Marshall has their fill oh hot dogs before beginning. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has an electric water pump!!!!!

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Hey, you want to go to a store with me, right? Like, a real store! With things and products and all that! None of the browsing around and clicking on wire-fried product overviews from items that barely make sense in our fabric of reality. Yeah, let’s get in the car! Let’s go to the Circuit City! We’ll buy another car stereo and put it in our current car! We didn’t need either one and we’ll do it again next week! But first, we’ll drive home! Capitilism works! We’re a fun, average nuclear family! This will never radioactively decay and neither will we! We will live forever! Just like camcorders!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and his teacher is glad he is out of their class this year. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s rapidly creating new seasons of VDL in his mind brain in real time.

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It’s Shark Week so you know we’re going to have to give it up to the Sharks! They’ve integrated themselves into modern society and became half-human hockey players and lawyers for our entertainment and judicial needs and the world is all the better for it! We knew we couldn’t compete with Canadians on the the icy pond so we went to the ocean to find our terrifying reality. And it worked! You can see it happen in real time as everyone gets super excited! Go Sharks! Please don’t bite us! Your immune to our human laws because your shark lawyers are just too good!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s going to always choose the zamboni. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not going to learn about siphoning this week either.

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You have to fill the time up somehow. The network isn’t going to entertain you all the time. They got bills to pay! Fortunately, Sears is never going to die and they spent 30 bucks on your Nickelodeon shows to tell 7-year olds all about air conditioners. They’re pretty… Cool! That’s what you’re supposed to say to your dad when the AC goes out at home and you repeat whatever you see on TV to him. You gotta really annoy him with the quotes and the 0% financing. That’ll surely convince him to call Sears and keep them alive for another month! This certainly won’t become a weird core memory that you write out as a description of a podcast episode later in your life. That’s just silly! You don’t want to listen to things! You need that for TV!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s currently holding the quadrupedal animal eating bird Youtube genre alive all on his own. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s read enough to Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” to say he’s an expert at War.

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Shit!! We’re out of ingredients! Like, most of them! Most of the restaurant ones, anyway! We need to go the grocery store and stock up but the customers are coming into the restaurant now! We have just a lot of wet ham and some leftover cheese and maybe we can sell them on– oh they’re already eating it. They’re calling it the Yumbo. They’re nostalgic for it twenty years later. They want more. They won’t stop eating it. How are we not running out of ham? Why is it so wet?! WHY WON’T IT ALL STOP–

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s giving you the stink-eye by the salad bar. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s been pod-located on this pod-cast.

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In this world of content, don’t be “content”! Be “Content”!!! That’s good, right? That’s worth like a 50 page powerpoint and payment at some mid-level tech convention right? I can pad it out a little bit more. Maybe talk about myself and my Content Aspirations and how we desire to take out every podcast until we’re the only one left like Jet Li in “The One”. Maybe stage a cool fight on a pyramid against all the other podcasts. But maybe we’ll get tired and put on our nice tweed hats and look smug in a forest clearing like Robert Forest always wanted us to feel when we saw The Road Not Taken. Maybe we’ll make a little deal with some mythological creatures and face the reprecussions when we wake up. That won’t be for a while, right? It’s worth it to keep all ten of those toes, after all. Anyway, want a sausage?

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s making deals upon deals until the right worst bargain comes back. John Hurst is your co-host and he would like his jester hat now, please.

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When Haddaway asked us “What is Love?” we felt that. Mostly we felt the synth bass and the beat, but we also herard his words and we nodded along. Yeah, what *was* love? Is it a vampire? A statue you stare longingly at? Your vampire lover’s two friends that are also hanging out for way too long when you’ve clearly given strong hints that they should maybe dance elsewhere? They’re having a good time and Haddaway doesn’t want to ruin the vibe, sure, but he’s had this planned for millennia and it’s not going the way that he thought it would in his head. Maybe he’ll have to go to Plan B. Maybe it’s time to take off the blue suit and get into something more comfortable. Maybe show off the knees a bit. Do vampires even like knees? What would they call that? We spend far too much time figuring that out, but no more! We have an answer for you on that and more!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not getting over the first slang he hears for a thing. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he wants the voting aide to choose the animation that plays.

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I Dream Of Jeannie was a show that meant, for us, that it was time to stop watching shows. It was late night syndication TV and that meant the cartoons were over. They try to tempt you in with colorful cartoon intros but then it goes to real life people? Lame? 2D is all need! Love plots from the 60s and anime from the 80s! It’s all goes into the same brain! My brain! Anyway, enough of that nonsense.. It’s time to watch my Urusei Yatsura stories.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s not telling his parents about Detention until it has a time capsule amount of time away from the incidents! Mr. Johnnnnnnn is your co-host and he also might be dispensing sagely advice as your janitor but not as your math teacher.

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Hey, it’s Hardcastle! AND McCormick?! In one package?! Sign me up! I usually have to go without one or the other because of Hardcastle and McCormick price gouging so having both in one package is a winner for me! Are they cops? Friends? Buddy cop friends? I don’t think so! One’s a judge according to Wikipedia! Steven can fill you in on the rest of the details. Be sure to thank Steven! He refuses to let his Google Digital Self make new episodes of Hardcastle and/or McCormick because he knows he would no longer be in control! He fights for the human race in his own way! Praise Steven!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s renaming all the major productivity suite software. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s a little more correct on the population of Missouri than John is.

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Imagine you’re a frozen pizza. You’re almost there already so this should be easy. It’s pretty great. You chill in a freezer, you preserve yourself and hey you may even be pretty tasty in a pinch! But what if you could rotate for everyone to see? You could be the star of the party! Or the bachelor pad! Or the bachelor in the bachelor pad! Get heated on with the Pizzazz Pizza Cooker! Ignore the stains from what seems to be non-pizza foodstuffs. And hair. And maybe toothpaste? You look at your bachelor’s teeth. You’re not sure if he can consume solid foods. You’re a solid food. You worry. His name is Jarron. He doesn’t own a lamp.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s in charge of the timeclocks that don’t do anything cool physically! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s got a cake to frost later on.

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The magic of life should not be taken for granted, France! You know that just as much as the rest of us! You are born of this earth, live off its riches and die in its dirt just like the rest of us. So why are you giving the false hope of magic hugs that make you become the sun? I always wanted to be to a Sun! A vicious ball of heat and gas and plasma that shines on everyone whether they want it or not (They can live in the habitable zone, I guess.) But no! I can’t be a sun! I can only shine a bright light on someone’s day by my kind words and demeanor! That’s not enough! I want to burn for a million degrees until I burn out and expand and consume the galaxy! Damn you, french animation short! Damn you and your false hope!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s unaware of the badass thing he is doing while outside. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s the reason the hornets are so angry, not the basketball!

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Harvey Freeman had a vision. Well maybe not a vision; it was a meeting. It was at a crossroads. The dusty kind. The kind where the Devil hangs out. Harvey Freeman needed a winning idea and the Devil was the person to give it to him. Whatever he was given, he knew he could change the world. Harvey trusted in himself (and the devil) that much. However, even he wasn’t quite sure what to do with the Devil Sticks. He had to practice them for way too long for one. Everyone thought he was just messing around in the park. No. No he was not. He was nose deep into Stick Business and he was about to graduate with a S.D. (Stick Degree) and Devilnometry. Then, and only then, could he face off against his final boss; The Patent Office. The paperwork would bring him down, but the Harvey Freeman name would remain on high.

They’re kind of fun, too.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s not going on The Curse of Oak Island anytime soon. John Hurst is your co-host and he should have guessed a higher number.

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Is it a Beautiful World? Who even knows! Target sure thinks so. Target is ready to sell your products as the sun is melting down all around us ready to consume us. Only one company stands in the way of total destruction and it turns out that mostly make carbonated soda beverages. And guns. Lots of citruses-y guns.

Also forcing other brands to expand outsider of their wheelhouse. I hear Slim Jims make for great saloon doors!

John Hurst is your host this week and he has to go back to Podcast Prison after this episode. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s working the skunkworks at Sunkist on the Balls Kicking Committee.

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The era of digital fansubs brought us everything. Everywhere. All at once! We had to have it all! We had to trade CD-Rs in big binders trying to gather it all like Pokemon. Even shows like Chobits, which I am personally convinced noone ever saw the ending to! We just saw the plasticy ears and figured out the rest of the show from there! Still, we torrented it. And some of us are still living in the hole in the ground for the trouble. City pop vibes, baby!

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Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is taking his Persocom everywhere. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s got coyotes to fight before he gets internet again.

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People cried when the statues of the Virgin Mary shed tears of blood, but would you do the same for the Wendy’s Piss Fountain? I bet you would. It’s a beautiful sight made by our fast food benefactors from Dublin, Ohio. They’re giving you the greatest in free entertainment and promo codes for this. All you have to do is wave your little arms around and not worry about why you’re working the counter in a virtual fast food chain. They own you now. Don’t be too bothered by it. That’s how the internet works! You never looked at the Terms and Agreement before now, after all. Put on the VIB Visor. Your burger chariot is waiting (For other people, not for you. Get to work.)

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s wondering why that tomato has his legs. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he learned a valuable fast food secret from a college friend.

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Turn around! You’re in a boarding school with Bonnie Tyler are your principal. She makes you practice fencing and kendo at night and that’s a little weird! She wonders around just looking in rooms and not interacting. You ask her for any opinions and input but she’s just wistfully walking along in her formal wear with the thin fabric that wisps around in the wind. Your eyes have started glowing. Are you a vampire? Maybe? You don’t feel vampiry. You’re just worried if next week’s match is going to go well. You’re so tired. You just want to play Chrono Trigger on the Super Nintendo without Principal Bonnie Tyler looking into your room and commenting on your character levels. Turn around. Turn around! Turn–

Aaron Littleton it your host this week and he has sage advice for those who would be tempted to go “subreddit deep” on a mundane subject. John Hurst is your co-host this week and every now and then he falls apart (For spoons.)

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How little can a unicorn be? Well, according ot the film ‘The Little Unicorn” circa 2002: Not little at all! It’s an average size horse! Bigger maybe! It’s got a horn and it glows and everyone wants it and I think we ran out of plot so let’s add like 45 minutes of interpersonal family conflict with David Warner, thank you! And once they’re done, it’s time to really make our new unicorn-related industry go to work. Don’t worry, it’s very humane! Extremely! We swear! The USDA swears!

John Hurst is your host this week and he associates the cloned sheep Dolly with Madden 96 for an incredibly specific reason. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and he needs some cool glowy platforms or it is not REAL science.

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Sometimes, something can look like an entire decade and noone can know what year it came from. This is true even for build who lived in the decade. But the scientists over at Video Death Loop have it all figured out when it comes to Camp Wilder, our second ABC TGIF show of the season. What was it about? How did the plot go? Did involve as much surf music and whimsy as they are desperately trying to give in the intro? We don’t know! But we can say we’re pretty sure it might be a 90s show. Maybe. At least someone didn’t have to die by hamburger to become a (teen) angel! … Actually, we have no idea there also. We’ll check wikipedia after I finish writing this.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is getting that cheap hit so Fandango can win the dark match. John Hurst is your co-host and he is the heralder of surf music in the 90s.

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The Burger King Kid’s Club (BK Kid’s Club to the cool ones out there) was a radical set of kids being radical in your radically marketed mind. They needed someone to combat the monstrosities McDonald’s was giving us with years and eons of lore, just in case Mayor McCheese ever decided to unleash the Grimace or one of his many cousins on the neighboring fast food chains in the same section of town. The results would be brutal and what better way to combat monsters than a ragtag group of children banding up together to learn about friendship and/or burgers? Would the artist making the BK Kids, in their cyberpunkian glory, also realize he was a part of the plot? Would the editor? Where does the inception end? Maybe after we get our box of meal prep chips in the mail. We got corn chips this week! It’s going to be a good one.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s thinking of things in terms of what you can wear on your belt like a totally cool person and not like a dad with sunglasses, okay?! Aaron Littleton is your newly appointed co-host and he’s got some historical Gilgamesh fanfiction just for you.

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Hey everyone! It’s Teen Angel! The Angel that was a Teen! He’s dead now! They made sure of that! For this hilarious (debatable) comedy! Wow! He’s solving his friends problems? Or making new ones? He’s only going to be doing it for 17 episodes though, so you better figure out your life by then! He might not be able to physically go beyond making Austin Powers jokes! His mind did not finish developing before death! Yeah baby, yeah!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is on the serious side of the very important lunch chart graph we make in this episode. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he is entering Hibernation 2.0, as the tech bros will dub it.

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What is snowboarding? A sport that takes a pre-existing sport and makes it way cooler. What is virtual snowboarding? That concept but even way cooler because I can do it without injuring myself. Possibly. I could maybe trip over something in my living room in my excitement of doing a 720 fakie nosegrab grind in spectacular fashion. Maybe I’m drunk. Maybe I’m in a philospher’s cave and he wants next on the game. I tell him “No, bro. You can play this anytime.” It causes a little scuffle. I’m kicked out and have to real snowboard my way home while thinking about the decisions I have made along the pathway that is my life. I am truly in the present moment. But it’s way radder if I snowboard through it.

John Hurst is your host and he is ready to go back to bed after Philosophy Class. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not sharing his bag of tuna.

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It’s a new Video Death Loop season! It’s a new Video Death Loop year! It’s time to celebrate this remarkable achievement of NINE years doing an audio podcast about a video loop and wait what do you mean Nintnedo made the announcement about the Switch 2 right when we started recording? Okay, hold on. Hold the phone. Don’t use it to dial your local movie theater. We need it. For phoning. Get your blenders ready, folks.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s the least prime number possible. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s remembering the second Transformer movie like a fever dream (Which it is.)

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The aliens have come to visit our planet and we really need to have the good holiday cheer out to appease them. There’s clearly no other way we’re winning this fight. They have the superior firepower and well-trained numbers behind them to literally decimate our entire planet as they make way to build their death theme park over the dehydrated oceans. The only thing we have is Holiday spirit and if we can’t get drunk with them and show them how humanity can be great and wonderful and bring joy to the stars then there will be no joy left! We need to turn them into Steven Spielberg Extra Terrestials stat! All that’s left if the inaugural song to welcome them into the pub. Let’s bring in the Paul McCartney! Maybe just leave Wings at home this time around, though.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s going to leave the Christmas Towels up far past the holiday time. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is going up to the Christmas Grave if you need anything.

This is our last episode for Season 8! We’ll be back in a couple of weeks in the new year for Season 9?! Have a great break and we will too!

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I see you over there, Frankin’ it up! Don’t you try to deny it! Your father was a franker, his father before him was a franker and by gods we’ve been frankin’ it up ever since we said no to the King of England (Who likely wasn’t franking anything, let’s be real.) If you’re not Franking it, then frankly we have a little bit of a problem. Where’s your Franking License? Lemme see if you’re allowed to forage for various hot sauce without a permit. Now pick up that hot dog. Put hot sauce on it. Frank’s Hot Sauce. Yowza.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s boiling a big pot of blood just to show Bing. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s making himself hot sauce stew courtesy of the local water department.

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If you were a kid in 2006, odds were you had enough free time to film a whole scene in the parking lot of a Best Buy. We know we sure did, but we didn’t make this auspicious film. Someone else got to it first, knowing the perfect spot to frame and flip off a Best Buy box store with the most thunderous of effects. Know doubt there is something performative about the gesture, but one can almost sense a real realness to the whole thing. Was their a real slight towards a pre-ordered Wii that was forgotten about? Did the person who is doing the flipping formerly work for the corporation? Why is he so far away from the store? Why is that one car so bad at parking? The world may never know, but we can at least observe. And observe we shall forever.

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John Hurst is your host this week and he’s seeing the realness through the irony, man. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is ushering in a new Era according to Wikipedia.

What better way to explain a situation than to use the largest Connect Four board known to man? Just add your pieces (Uranium and/or Water) and have a ball! Don’t worry about the radioactivity, it’s all part of the game! Just keeping on thinking about bacon, like the bacon council wants you to! Did Socrates eat bacon? Would he prefer bacon over sausage? Oh no, Pripyat is uninhabital now!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he has given up on The Republic (The Book.) John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s (not) going to invent time travel and proceed to Step 2.

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Sirens would entrance sailors to crash their ships into rocks not for sustenance or anger, but because it’s really funny and honestly never gets own. Such is true of the timeless tradition of cars crashing into various things. Like the one we watch this week of cars crashing into swimming pools in various ways. The car still totalled, but at least you get refreshed at the end! Perhaps we can use this as a way to fill in some of those holes found in Oak Island while searching for the treasure. We must look to the stars (and the emails of hopefully listening producers) for the answer!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s throwing coins at islands for good luck! Aaron Littleton is your host this week and we all failed the “Talk about Oak Island” charisma check so you’re going to get caught with the show.

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SMILK.

IT IS CALLED SMILK.

IT’S LIKE MILK.

BUT WITH A SMILE?!?!?!

SMILK.

GOD HELP US ALL.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s assembling Aaron Littletons the world over. John Hurst is your co-host and he is concerned with what Smilk is fortified *with*.

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When Godzilla chooses a beverage, you can be sure he is going to choose the number 3 beverage in the United States (Which has lately been the number 2 beverage depending on the poll you believe. Godzilla might be ecstatic about this news!) He’s got places to be and he needs that caffeiene to help him get to Manitoba and back! He’s got a wheatification process he’s trying to get through the Science Committe back on Monster Island that may solve world hunger too as long as you’re not in the city he’s wrecking. That’s the price of his science! Though maybe we should not be calling it “Godzillification” due to those destructive tendencies.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is forcing himself to learn more about Manitoba after this episode (Sorry Manitoba, but it looks very nice!) Aaron Littleton is your temporary co-host and he’s busy not building a catapult.

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“Rattle Me Bones, bonedaddy!” is not just for bedroom talk anymore! Now you can play without the dirty talk in the Rattle Me Bones home game! It’s like Operation, except there’s a little skeleton guy wiggling! Everyone wins! Except maybe the skeleton since you’re taking their stuff and that’s not very nice. That skeleton has places to be. He’s got a movie to catch at home and he’s making sure the ghost haunting the apartment can’t choose what to watch AGAIN! That’s the pecking order, baby! Physicality in Death!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s got big plans for his posthumous lifestyle. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s with you every step of the way as long as he gets to break a window.

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It’s time to become what we always wanted to be: Useless bags going to useless destinations! Finally, I can lay down and enjoy the ride, get handled by security and slightly irradiated just like I always wanted. Maybe I can be sorted to a better place in life! Sure, it just might be the gate to Cincinnati, but that’s a city of cities, right? That’s a pretty good start! Maybe they’ll let me eat a 8 AM pizza on this conveyor too. It came from the airport and I’m not bringing in, so I think I got a chance there.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s establishing the greeting order for the podcast. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is going to invent the telephone in the future so let’s forget about the current and past telephones, okay?

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Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well! He made this slidedeck for me to sell Denmark! They don’t know that we’re doing it. Well, maybe they have an inkling of an idea. We’re called the Denmark Corporation after all. We kind of said on our yearly business review that we are going to “sell that damn country finally”. So, maybe they won’t be blindsided. But we’re dedicated to selling it and we have quite a pitch for you! Just ask our former’s president’s ghost! He’s not thinking of revenge at all! Or making his son do it!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he needs to pitch to Microsoft precisely on January of 2000 if this scheme is to work. John Hurst is your co-host and he wouldn’t be caught dead calling it a PowerPoint.

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It’s 1991 and Cindy Crawford has the Official Drink market in an iron fist. America won first blood with making Cindy Crawford hold a Pepsi, but it wouldn’t stop there. Japan had Pocari Sweat and a puma to help sweeten the deal. She was working on the Canada contract soon with her sword training. She had to assert dominance over the other celebrity models after all. She had the Puma trainer’s number too just in case she needed to take out one of them. Or an antelope. Or anything in between now and victory. Life was going all the way up and nobody could stop her. Well, maybe if she could figure out how to avoid being so cold all the damn time. Maybe some sort of cloth thing used to wrap up a human being with insulation. No, there was no time for that. There was only the path forward. The Cindy Path Forward.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s going to be using the void, that’s for damn sure. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s going to need a shovel for all these new situations.

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Summer may be winding down in the real life that you and live in, but it’s still going strong in the Bachelor in Paradise! Why, David Spade is hosting! And they got all these names having fun on the screen! Some of them may be rats habitating a facsimile of a human skin designed to trick the other contestants! Others might be playing volleyball! Fun?!

Except for Demi. We’re not sure what the hell Demi is doing.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s thinking about bee collecting (not keeping.) John Hurst is your co-host this week and he is dispensing sage advice from the depths of his blender.

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When you put Bac-Os on a salad, what you’re really trying to do is resign to fate. The salad is there. You’re going to eat it. You may enjoy eating it! You may not! But you’re probably not the most excited by it. You need something to take your mind off all that saladness. Bac-Os is there for you. It’s suggested by lettuce you’re about to eat and everything. You’re about to commit horrible vegetation atrocities. You might as well have a little fun to go with it. It’s Bac-Os!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s looking for the most gamer of printers. Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s making the printable steak a thing!

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Captaiinnnnnnn Planet! We’re summoning him with our rings! Our rings of elements! We have to be in close proximity to the other four to do so and unfortunately, we hate the other teens! We’re just going to use our cool water powers to make like a river and flow into the ocean! We don’t need those other elements! We especially don’t need Heart! Wait, what do you mean he is hypnotizing an army to give him cash?

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s insanely good at remembering the names of the Planeteers. John Hurst is your co-host and did consider using the Earth Ring to play SimCity 2000 Land Development in real life. Reticulating splines.

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Grant Nel took the dive like a champ. Hi fives, smiles, the only thing red was probably he back from the failed dive. I mean, what else can you do? When you receive a vision of the future and it is a zero score, you can’t exactly walk back down? You gotta follow through. Accept your fate. At least you know a teenage lifeguard won’t be saving you. You’re safe from the Panel of Uncool for just a little longer.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s putting a little falsetto in his voice to enrage Aaron. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and he is being left at the pool mistakenly as the cloned version of himself.

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Here’s your one chance, Fancy! Don’t let me down! Get the nice cat glasses out and let’s eat Viennetta! It has… Layers? Of Dairy? It’s not an ice cream. Legally we can’t call it an ice cream. We can legally say layers though, right? … Our lawyers say to hold off on the layers. Okay, fair enough but the point is it’s got curves and weird little swivel thingies. Like a fancy thing! Rebecca, please put away the steampunk goggles. You’re ruining tea time.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s a two time COVID fighting champ (He’s doing okay!) John Hurst is your co-host and he’s not ready for his big introduction.

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Sometimes, you just need a video of an anime chomping on ice. Just really going to down on that solid water hoping to crush it into a nougat of liquidy water. This is one of those days. You’ve earned it. You’ve made it to this part of the week and we’re so proud that you have. You should hold your head up high and smile at everything you’ve done until this point. Just don’t start counting the clouds and wondering how many units water they may have. You may never be the same!

Also, animals will review you poorly.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not quite sure he is remembering the podcast spiel correctly! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s making the first audio-only sport.

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The damn sound. You can’t escape from it. No matter where you are in the house, it means someone is sneaking on the computer. And that your cleverly laid trap of leaving the pc speaker on at full volume worked. You know they’re about to log onto America Online to chat with their dang internet friends and look at Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. You don’t know what to do with this information, mind you; nothing is wrong with any of that! It just means you know they’re not going sleep well and you can see them the next morning and go “Ah ha hah! Rise and shine, buddy!” or something like that. It helps you get through the day but really you know it’s distracting your from all the plastic baggies you need to fill. A road trip is happening soon. You and your bags of dirt have places to be. You have no time for computer frivolities. The plants need you. The earth will regret you. Only bliss awaits (at another location different from the original bliss.)

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s making a more absorbant plant! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s making a reverse dracula.

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VIDEO GAME HINTS! They’re fast and fun! It’s like an ancient gacha for your phone, except your parents will get even madder at you! Don’t mind the super hero trying to usher you into the St. Paul megadome (St. Paul residents, I am sorry but I’m not looking up your sports arena’s name. I’m sure it is very nice though.) Don’t even mind that it is empty! Just come in and ignore the plants and abnormally large curtains! You’ve got games to beat!

John Hurst is your host this weekend and, yeah, he’d pay $8 to see this commercial live! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s watching a video essay on this right now.

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At Hidden Valley, the ranch flows unending. There’s just too much of it. We need to use it in more and more creative ways, but it means we all must make sacrifices. The ice cream truck? Gone. It’s now full of vegetables (and ranch dressing.) The children? They must enjoy the ranch as well. If they do not, they’re not effective and they’re BANISHED from the Valley of Hidden. We must all do our part. Bring in the big bowl. Stick your fist in it. Lick the ranch from your knuckles. It’s ranch or be ranch’d, buckos.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s re-ranching his lawn this week. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s getting gaslit very easily!!

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If you go to Kingfish Restaurant in Louisville, KY, it sounds like you’ll get some pretty good seafood! This is judging by the reviews online, but also the reviews of these paid(?) actors in the 1990s commercial they made it sound pretty sweet too! The catchy jingle and the twirling of shrimp and onion rings catch the eye and make it determine it as a fun place potentially. But before we even get there, we have to meet… Richard. Richard is pictured above. And he’s down for whatever you want. Get out those lobster bids, baby. It’s fishin’ time.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is going to crack up every time he sees Richard so you’re going to have to deal with that. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s worried about the hanging paper towel in the workplace bathroom.

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It’s Star Trek! In DEEP ASS SPACE! And… They’re mostly chilling. People are on their time share, y’know. Enjoying life among the potential war zone. Drinking at Quark’s Bar. Complaining about Romulan Ale or something. Look, I loved Deep Space Nine but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it remotely in narrative order. Mostly it was in SpikeTV/USA Network order in between sessions of Earth Basketball. I’m just waiting for my week, is all!

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Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s really excited about getting some of those syllables out! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s trying to figure out a way to spin it into getting onto Sesame Street.

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It’s becomming firework season again in the US, which ranges from May – whenever we run out of fireworks! All manner of firepower big and small will be used, but maybe not these dainty little dragons that shoot fire out of two directions. They’re just too cute! You want to hug it while its on fire! That’s not a great feature for a firework! Unless that feature is burn insurance. Also, Puff the Magic Dragon versus Pete’s Dragon. Important topics. Critical topics.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s enjoying the silence. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he made this whole scenario later in the podcast so don’t believe him when he says otherwise.

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Everyone loves a Herman Miller chair. Especially the host this week Aaron. But Aaron doesn’t want to pay full price for a Herman Miller chair, understandably! That’s why he is working for co-host John as his left Porsche 911 shoe, a concept he is looking to get outlawed *immediately* in all 50 states. Is it worth it? Absolutely not. But is a Herman Miller chair and it does turn you into a cyberskeleton soooooo… Maybe?!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s doing all the things described in the above paragraph. John Hurst is your co-host this weeek and he too is doing everything in the above paragraph.

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There’s a place in Knoxville where you can go to see little circular homes that are of a certain fantasy classic but legally distinct from it. You can throw axes there! Talk by the fire! Listen to the power lines sing a song in your gentile ear. Yes, it’s the Ancient Lore Village, a project that even has its own 2.5 Star reviewed book on Amazon! That’s the kind of literature that makes recreational facilities happen! No, seriously, it’s true. Go to Pigeon Forge sometime. It’s all marketed like that. This one’s in between that town and another though, so it’s different! Maybe! Shh, the power lines are talking again. Let’s listen.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s got strong opinions about important wikipedia articles. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he just wants a really nice map.

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You’re done arguing with your friends! We can all agree going to the Werewolf versus Vampire movie is neutral ground, right? We weren’t all going to see Mystic River so you better damn well deal with this sci-fi creation under a blue light and you better be damn neutral about it! Look, there’s vampires! And Werewolves! They’re fighting! And she has a big ol’ sword she’s fighting them both with? Maybe one side? Which one? I don’t know, I wasn’t paying any attention. I was too busy trying to fly with these new eagle wings of mine. It’s kind of hard!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s considering utility with animal powers. John Hurst is your co-host and he has re-written the rules of who gets “The Animal” nickname.

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It turns out that everything they warned us about is all true. Pokemon Cards are the devil’s work! The mere touch of a rare card is enough to convert your entire body into an explosion of pokemon cards and coalesce into something that looks quite like you… But different. Never will you be the same again and all your previous joys will be gone, replaced by Pokemon cards. You can’t even play the deck you like anymore. You are the deck, unable to change that one card that was definitely a poor decision. Stay away from the danger! Skate away, younglings!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is stealing all the world’s helium to be remembered by history. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he witnessed a living AI Model experiment in high school.

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No, I do not want to date your avatar. Unless your avatar is a Ragnarok Online model! Then maybe I would consider it! We would have spent ages levelling up together, so at the point where we may consider dating I would know if we were a good fit for each other. We’d also know what we thought of bees and web series by then so we could get a billboard together announcing are nupitals or something. Is that how marriage works? Better buy a second billboard just in case. And maybe hide my Runescape account.

Aaron “The Animal” Littleton Esquire is your host this week and he has a choice this week before we get the billboard up! John “The Animal” Hurst is ready to let you into heaven, as long as you don’t have a certain popular brand electronic device from Apple.

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We live in a society where we can get very specific descriptive pills faster than this Clue speedrun we watched on loop for this episode (At least, if you’re in America. We’ll privatize the shit out of anything!) Professor Plum will give you all the boner pills a podcast can buy! Maybe he even has his own podcast to hock them off of as well! With a sponsor code and everything! Sure, it’s not Doctor Xpress joint, but the money rolls in easy enough and he hasn’t had to murder any Mr. Bodys this time around for it. It was Ms. Peacock this time around! That’s more time to sell pills with rhinos on them to gas stations! Hell yeah! Let’s get to making the 12th Delta!

John Hurst is your host this week and and he needs to stop having kickstarter worthy ideas happen in the final minutes of the episode. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is listening to someone else’s podcast in the car with them. You are the listener and we like YOU the most.

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Oh, damn! Looks like Timmy’s a big kid now! He’s got the double deep dish pizza lunchable with a cola and Reese’s cup! It’s where cravings and malnutrition meet and he’s at the height of his popularity! He’ll remember this day where he was the envy of all the other kids on his school lunch row as he lays upon his death bed with a sweet smile. He may not be able to devour either deep dish pizza nor the cola or the Reese’s Cup candy contained within, but these memories of envy will leave him in content. Or discontent. Timmy didn’t really eat well after the lunchable either.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he has survived being sick using speed run strats!! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s disappointed by the seedy underside of his local community’s social media presence.

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It’s another day at the workplace. Everything is the exact same. The cafeteria ran out of bananas again. Your co-worker can’t stop yapping about the event of the moment. Your boss wants a report in. If only something could help alleviate this boredom! Perhaps a chatting application built into my required mailing software for my company’s intranet! Then maybe I can finally talk to Portugal and find out what they’re really into! That’s productivity!

John Hurst is your host this week and he doesn’t know how even Even Stevens really is. Aaron Littleton is your host and he has a hole to fill!

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Sam Beckett is unstuck in time and oh boy is he solving a lot of problems! He’s quantum leaping here, quantum leaping there, leaping everywhere and all he wants to do is go home and cause problems. He’s not even leaving the problem solved in a respectable state! When he quantum leaps out, the person is going to be confused and/or possibly on 5 years jail time. This is not how to quantum leap, Sam Beckett! I know you’re the first quantum leaper, but we can nitpick that later!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s too busy not solving problems to leap. John Hurst is your co-hurst this week and by god do not trust him to stop a plane.

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The spirit of horses are alive, but not the horses themselves! They’re just in another world and they’re racing for… I dunno, reasons? Because they gotta? Maybe it’s like a hummingbird thing and they always gotta keep running so it’s better to put that energy on the track? Hasn’t that one horse girl been in high school for 9 years? Do they retire? Did they join the PGA Senior Tour? We’re not sure and Umamusume is not going to tell us. Write your damn fanfiction. We at CyGames have money to make!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s lore-dumping about the horse show on an unsuspecting Aaron this episode. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and he’s not sharing the extra good pickles from the top shelf.

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It’s time for some German song and dance! Please join us as we use the ancient woodland instruments! A fake wooden fake synthesizer. A Fake bongo/cymbal thing. Fake bird calls. An especially fake backdrop! Together, with the power of lip syncing we will tell this world about how they will perish without trees. But in a really happy way! No, seriously, look up the English translation.

Aaron Littleton is your host this weekend and there’s no after presidency for him. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s saying words that don’t exist extra confidently today.

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Sometimes, you just need to have an impromptu, indecipherable breakdown battle with a bullet. It happens to the best of us, but only KoRn was able to monetize it in a way to make them big. I hear the bullet is making their rounds on the con circuit, punching holes in all the kids’ klassic KorN posters for $20 a pop. Jonathan Davis, lead KoRnman, won’t return his calls, but at least he can put ammo on the table for the little bulletlings. It’s just like how they always says “Something takes a part of me!”

It’s Video Death Loop and it’s time for the new season! Join us now! I dare you!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is regretting not buying that heavy metal barbecue sauce. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s waiting for that delicious big crunch to happen this loop.

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Jingle All The Way is that Christmas Movie most people can get behind. It’s not any of the classics that are overplayed on the television screens this year, for one. It also has Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad in their prime, so people can point and go “I remember that guy!” or even “I remember that guy!” And it’s got a fun little plot and physical comedy. It doesn’t have any reindeer on wheels and the movie probably remembers helium correctly, but that’s okay! That’s okay. We’ll just be here. Jingling. All the way.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s looking to get a paid of squeaky wheels in the future. John Hurst is your co-host and he just wants to remember something, anything!

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We are on break for the rest of the year after this one! Make sure to bless the Horse God for this wonderful life on this domain and have a happy holidays too!

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It is time to jam! Jam it all out. Be sophisticated! Spread it on a biscuit! Eat and enjoy the brand! Get a job in the jam corporation! Realize the fallacy of human kind as we enter the Second Fruit Impact and the dark meaning behind all their fruit juice spreads! How deep do the seeds go? We of Video Death Loop know all the dark secrets. We’re just not sure how to break it to you, our dear listener. Just make sure you enjoy the Level 7 Jams first!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is storing all of his food in his body to hibernate for the winter. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he refuses to believe Polaner All Fruit exists (It does. I’m writing this post so I can say that. Polaner All Fruit is not paying me to say that they exist. But they could!)

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Sure, you could contact colleges yourself. But why would you if you can listen to this bop while having them contact the colleges for you? The choice is clear. You got TV to watch. You don’t have time to learn about learning! Anyway, break time’s over; time to sling these ketchup and mustard bottles to the customers!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s got a sketchy kickstarter for you! John Hurst is the world’s co-host and he’s dropping the first Pokemon on Mars.

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Sometimes you just want to nestle in a warm blanket and watch a bunch of fire department demonstration videos on how quick things can go up in flames. Christmas Trees! Deep Frying Turkeys! Obscure Plugin Assemblies! The world is your oyster and that world is on fire! But you don’t have to cover it up further. You don’t have to fake your way into the fire. Let the fire play out its sililoquy. You’re just butting in! Now, pass over the buffalo sauce.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s recommending this recipe with ground beef in it in five paragraphs or more. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and is a hard working Christmas tree too.

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Anime on Toonami was a rare time. You’d get work you’d never seen like The Big-O and be fascinated by its ideals that maybe was too big for it to full fit into. Or you could watch Candidate for Goddess, which no one has nostalgia for even if people claim to have it. They really mean Cowboy Bebop. That’s the one they mean. But it was available on American TV and that was neat! So was this intro. This intro was for you. Use it like you should and go make yourself a protein headlined sandwich!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he doesn’t like the chicken bake from Costco. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s not sure what a hot dog is today.

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Are you a little horse crazy? Aren’t we all? If you’re the president, you have to say yes. If you’re doiing improv, you can say no if it works to the scenes benefit but it’s better to build the scene by saying yes. If you’re a human, you can say no, but you’re probably not going to be liked by the horse-liking majority. What we’re saying is you’re probably stuck liking horses. We can help with that. We’re rolling out the TV for class. We’re going to show you a bunch of horse clips. They’re majestic as balls. Get majestic with us.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s got on those cpu-cooled pipe shoes. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and his horse is a perfect square.

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Oh god, the Doodlebops are in town. Hide the evidence. They can’t know. I mean, they won’t know. They’re always wrong. But I’m not the one going under for a very fragile and unsupported reason! No, it’s going to be you! You’re stuck with this mess! I’m going to Miami for a while. Maybe the Doodelbops won’t tour there. Maybe Judge Couchy will give me a lighter sentence if I just point the way. Oh god, they brought the keytar. Oh god. I’m out of here

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s listening to some great Choones. John Hurst is his co-host and he’s not going to do any co-host related things outside the podcast THIS week.

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Sometimes, you need to watch a dryer advertisement for a company in another country away from your own. See the world in a different pair of eyes. Talk through the neck holes of their shirt. Become real stop motion through a painting that is well animated. We’ve all been there. Even if you deny it, you know the truth. The truth goes on. And on and on. Ariston.

Oh now, it’s stuck in my head now. Help.

John Hurst is your host this week and we’re about to learn if he is a secret energy drink guy or not. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s going to make a better dryer for tomorrow’s sausage TODAY.

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It’s Spooky Season! So very spooky! Pick out a favorite bone and go to town in the graveyard! Just make sure you have a tight skele-five when you come out of your coffin. First impressions are important! Otherwise, you’re going to get laughed out of the graveyard and that’s your new home!!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he has you covered in terms of podcasts for love. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s going to borrow all his skeleton friend’s bones.

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What is a concept anyway? Is it just making a hit song, getting a few people and a vehicle together on a backdrop to shoot a music video and posting it on youtube for all to see? Or is it the commentary on the whole process that’s the real art? Neither. It’s the work you do with it afterwards that defines the end result. And buddy, Aaron’s yard looks great today.

Come listen to our visual podcast in audio form today!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s making podcasts for heaven’s listeners. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s installing a whole bunch of new hard drives.

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There was a time in America where you could pay you way anywhere with two options: Money or Rob Schneider movies. Most people would prefer the money, sure, but the Rob Schnieder movies were a tradable commodity where you could get two or upwards of three dollars for it at various shops. 82 minutes of physical comedy? Sure, why not! I can probably get a sandwich this and a copy of the Hot Chick. This economic boom will never go down! Rob Schneider forever! Let me go to the official The Animal website and remind myself of the goat gag! Surely that will age well in 20 years!

At least he doesn’t own a steakhouse.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s opening up a catfish restaurant! John Hurst is your co-host and he regrets talking about this movie right before we recorded the episode.

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The can will follow you home. You have a forged a contract with it. It is beyond your control. It is a shadow, the true self. You desire to devour it. It desires to be devoured by you. Consume your desires. Become one with them. It is time. Persona 6 is wild, y’all.

John Hurst is your host this week and he and this cricket in the house aren’t getting along! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not recommended as a heavy-duty tape.

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The Hento Automatic Fried Rice Machine waits for noone. You want rice/noodles made? You damn better be around to catch it. It’s got shit to do! It can’t be waiting for you! The Hento Automatic Fried Rice Machine has places to be! It’s got to get home to its wonderful house and wonderful Hento Automatic Fried Rice Machine wife and Hento Automatic Fried Rice Machine children! The only button is green because it’s ALL GAS NO BRAKES. Well, maybe steam, not gas. Gas would be bad. Maybe it’s not steam either? We don’t know. Put a cabbage in there. Let’s see what we can make.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s getting the middle-tier of Renaissance faire clothing like the winner that he is! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s leaning into Medieval Times kayfabe.

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It’s time to demagnetize your stuff! And if doesn’t need to be, let’s magnetize it anyway! It’s fun, it gets the whole family involved and who knows, it might become your job until it is phased out completely by modern technology! Embrace it while you still can! The sea is calling! Not the ocean!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s setting the date on when a myth is formed on this episode. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not taking a whole lot of care into erasing these tapes for education.

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The mission is totally impossible, right? Maybe? It seemed pretty doable to me. You get a face making machine and you can fight communism like all damn day. You ride a motorcycle, you sneak into a boat, you get Peter Graves to help type you with your novella and you’re home before you can discard all three of the things above. I guess when you have a crack team, everything is pretty doable! As long as it doesn’t involve a heavy magnet. You know, for magnet things. Get that thing away from my head!

We also learn some distressing facts about secret fanfiction you didn’t know you were watching! Come learn with us (and be distressed with us!)

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he needs all doctors to come to him to check this thing out. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s on one of those “doing” teams!

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Can the coach that brought the 1985 Chicago Bears bring your local soda brand to victory? Schweggman thinks so! Don’t worry about potentially food poisoning! Mike Ditka will solve your problem while you’re in agony! As long as it’s a sport and it involves coaching. If it doesn’t, sorry, Big Shot Soda and Mike Ditka are not responsible!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s already being a bad neighbor at his new place. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s got the solution to all your outdoor problems in a chainsaw.

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We don’t know a damn thing about clams or clam juice. We’re never going to get our inheritance at this rate! Can we partake? We… Just… Don’t… Know! Better watch this one on loop to see.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s recording the second take right now. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s giving a little warmth to the room as you listen to the radio for presidential reasons.

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Everybody! It is unequivalably required by you, the consumer, to move your feet and move your body! Preferably in a direction that leads to the local tanning salons where you will find great deals on ways to get a tan that does not involve (too much) of the sun! Please enjoy our salad bar. Or not! We’re pretty chill about it. Don’t put tomatoes on your eyes.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s sneaking some croutons into the booth. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s got the same speech planned out whether he wins the presidency or not.

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It’s tough being Mr. T. You got to act tough all the time. Wear the chains. Yell at a dude bro. Drive in a tank. Throw a snickers at some wimp. It wears down on a person. Noone asks if Mr. T wants a snickers. He can only distribute. Sure he could go into the stash he has in the tank but that’s just not right; that box of snickers are exclusively for wimps who need more nuts. It’s like admitting defeat! So he drives and he drives and the sun comes down and the moon has come and long ago somebody has left with the cup and– Wait, now I’m just quoting “The Distance” by Cake, aren’t I?

…. HE’S GOING THE DISTANCE. HE’S GOING FOR SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s measuring curling lanes by tank treads. John Hurst is your co-host and you got to use him for the whole hour regardless, sorry.

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Hello. Welcome to Californication. We hope you enjoy our new open beta. Please keep all hands and feet inside the ride as we introduce you to four shirtless dudes who are both shirtless in fantasy and reality. Adding a shirt to these individuals is not allowed. Especially for Flea. He’s got us this sweet Silicon Graphics Workstation to make this with after all.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s stuck on the theme park ride waiting to hijack it from the next conductor/co-worker. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he can spot a bigfoot from a hundred yards in SD Youtube Clarity.

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YOU MISERABLE, MANIC MONSTER! How dare you turn these cars into humans! Humans who can barley crush things like that of a monster truck! I wanted to see monster trucks crushing the spirit of American muscle cars! Not these mom jean wearing fools! Those thighs could barely crush an apple juice carton! Now, Grave Digger Human, that’s a thigh! We can depend on those to help us through any sort of leg day troubles! Help us, Grave Digger Human! Take us away and back to our Sunday Monster Truck Rally!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s rejecting these new fangled Shakespearean words. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s solving crime as the Vice President.

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Party People! Are you ready to jam? Jock Jam, even? Maybe even to slam for four points in tiny basketball? Tag Team is back again. We’re back too. We’re all hanging out at the combination tiny basketball court/50s diner together. Maybe you could join us too? It’s there. Where it is. You know. Whomp. Whomp, I suppose!

John Hurst is your host this week and he dares to dunk on the sabbath. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s got some really neat VSTs and filters for potato chips.

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It is time for teenage drama and smooches and aliens and smooches. We got it all here! All the food groups needed for a late night not quite cable network! You need a young actor looking away at a camera dramatically? We got it! No charge! Roswell’s just that kind of show. Maybe. We haven’t watched it. Maybe you have. We’re not going to watch it. Unless the smooching is… Good? Or the aliens are good. Let us know.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he swears this George Washington biography he is reading has an end but his co-host, John Hurst, does not believe that for a minute.

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Heatsinks are in everything. They’re nice. Make a good sound when you drag your finger across them. Have a good feel too. Pleasant to look at. Cools your CPU and other tech thingies. How can you go wrong? And they look delicious when they’re being made too. Tantalizing. Maybe you can just rip off one from the conveyor belt. Pop it in your math. Maybe it’ll melt. Or your tongue will melt. Either way, it’s an experience. Enjoy the heat sink. Become the heat sink.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s buying worse and worse planes as he goes from town to town. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and he can’t stop his hatred over that orange cabinet.

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Your destiny awaits you. Calling to you. Hoping you will respond to its texts. You’ve held it back for long enough while lying awake at night, staring blankly at the familiar ceiling that clouds your dreams. Are you picking the deck shoes… Or the penny loafers? Your feet desire comfort and safety, but also fashion. And maybe comfortable enough to be on a boat with. This keeps you up at night. You don’t know why, but it does. You find yourself unable to talk about anything else with your co-workers at work. They only want to talk you

Aaron Littleton is your host and he’s avoiding a lot of sharp things with his safe shoes.. John Hurst is your co-host and he learned he is the person of the hour far too late.

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Is there anything less enticing that a non-alocholic ad for a day of significance Americans love to alcohol it up on? Sources say no. Everyone says no. But Party City says maybe? We’re not sure if they said yes. They clearly hired actors to act like they’re having a party so they’re trying their best. But everyone looks like they are in the highs of just learning of what dubstep is and how it would change their local dance and sports bar. And I guess in that way we all succeed. Pass the venetian blind sunglasses. It’s go time.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s overclocking this vape in the corner. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is helping to evolve the English language to its rightful final form.

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Wake Up! There’s a complete breakfast to be had! You must consume it now. Make it uncomplete! Nabisco Brands depends on you for the profit forecast! We rented three bear suits and one of them will not give theirs back! We hired him on as staff as a barter for getting the suit and our deposit back but we made things very, very, very much worse. Look, after you complete that breakfast, come up to my office. We got a box of cereal blankets waiting for you. At a cost. Are you willing to accept the responsibility of the Teddy Graham?

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is haunted. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s ramping it up!

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You know the song. It’s stuck in your head now. We don’t need to do anything else to describe it. Babies come out of the womb and their first immediate sounds are dun dun dun dun dun in rapid succession. That’s the kind of guy Funky D the DJ King is. Oh, wait. You said his name is Darude? … He’s too cool for that name. I think he’s Funky D the DJ King now. An AI told us we were cool for naming that too, so we must be cool.

John Hurst is your host this week and he finds a middle school connection we all had at least in our system. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s got a multi-step process for braces.

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“What a lovely place you have!” your guests says as they sip the cup of tea you provided. You glance around nervously. Yes, it’s nice. You bought it. You know it. You just don’t know if it could be… Inside enough. The walls are all there as is the roof. But the windows are a weak point. Temporary allowances of outside penetrating this indoor space. And don’t even get started on the door. That’s the worst of the lot. No, you simply wish for more. You pet the lavish goose plush on your lap. Your only comfort. It keeps the outside thoughts… Out. Where they belong.

You do not reply. The goose does not honk. Your guest can sense the awkwardness in the air, but all else is still. You are not a very good host. You should work on this.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is worried about tunnel girth. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s got a new tactic to use at the park against geese.

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The lullaby plays again. The occurrence begins again. It’s loop three. You’re back in your younger self. This time, you memorized all the great steps. The lotto numbers, the grunge era, the beanie baby fad. It’s all there in your head. You simply need to tell someone and convince them that this time around you are a voice that deserves listening to. “Call the president”, you tell your parental unit. “I can fix this conflict.” Your parental unit laughs and cuts the crust off your sandwich. This is not the intended outcome. But it’s a good start.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not an AI voice model (Yet.) Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s trying to skip out on those middle school years this time around.

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The house stands victorious. It shares its walls with living things, but it is not owned by those constricted by the mortality of flesh. It is in control and the people that temporarily reside in its belly know it. They cannot place things normally. Where the thing goes, goes. To move it or attempt to control chaos is nigh impossible, especially in the house. You spy a roommate, but you’re not sure if they are a roommate or ensnared by its walls. They ask for the Febreeze. You know why. They know why. You both wish you didn’t.

Also, there’s a cat.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s looking for a specific Brendan Frasier DVD. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s not sure which kitchen he is in.

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Good News, Jamiroquai ! You don’t have to pay taxes ever again! We’ll get the the hat squad to do it for you! As long as they don’t take the hat off, you’re in the clear. You want to make the hat your thing? It’s your thing, isn’t it? We don’t have to ask. We know it. Okay, well, we, as the IRS, say go for broke! You’re a winner! Just uh, don’t cause any health code violations.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is okay. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he needs to get rid of this grill.

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Bush’s Baked Beans has a secret recipe but they’re happy to show you the spices just like other secret brands. But they’re all too sweet! Why are they so sweet?! So baked?! So homestyle? Anyway, none of them are going on the toast. Or all of them. We’re going to find the right bean eventually. Call Geno’s cousin. Maybe he knows. Or he can grill us some un-vegetables. Either way, we win.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s a savory one! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s had it with March already.

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Encase your pocky in a glass. Stick it in the freezer. Wait however long you wait for things to get cold. Open the freezer. Eat the pocky. Repeat. Forever. Submit to the Mikugeddon. The Mikudon. The Wooly Mikueth. Just don’t enter the RESTRICTED ACCESS area.

John Hurst is your host this week and he can name one other vocaloid. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s happy to not remember anything told to him in the pursuit of knowledge.

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The orchestra is tuning up. They’re ready. They watch the artist intently, waiting for the first stroke. A ellipses. A circle? A perfect circle? Not for this. We only need two half circles here. Maybe a C. Slightly off. Shaded with a sheen. Glorious. The Face on Mars looks on intently, but innocently. Will the robots finally be pleased with this masterwork? Never. But still the search for perfection must be continued. John Madden would want nothing less.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s not impressed with that diamond. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s transforming the art of wrestling.

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Get a bunch of mascots. Make them play the wrong sport for a while. Kill some time. Noone is missing anything. Get your beer. Catch up with an old friend at the game. Pour that extra nacho cheese on. Look, that mascot fell down. Isn’t that silly? Okay, it’s only a little silly. They’re trying out there, alright? They’re trying to best. It’s hard to do layups in a mascot outfit. Unless you’re cheating like the damn Mudcat mascot is. There’s ten more minutes of this. Your beer is getting warm. The cheese sauce is getting cold. Suddenly this became a whole lot realer. Fly! Fly like the majestic eaglefish! FLY.

John Hurst is your host and he’s listening eagerly to the 5th Place State Peanut Council. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not sure how buoyant an eagle really is.

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The Weekly World News! It was the most interesting thing on the checkout counter for the brief time you’re up there! You eyes would briefly look at that instead of the deal on Buy 2, Get 1 Snickers and you would learn a thing or two about absolutely nothing. Then the cashier would get your attention and you would forget all about it. Or so you thought. You’d go home and see a commercial for the thing that is literally in every grocery store in America. You realized you forgot your copy. The nothings you learn come back. Bigfoot won a sixth super bowl and met a Met. It won’t escape your brain. You can’t go to sleep at night. Bat Boy may be watching. Bat Boy *is* watching. You’ll find that out next issue!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s ready to make the t-shirt grift of a lifetime. John Hurst is YOUR co-host and he has some pleasant affirming sounds for you.

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How much money would it take to win one thousand dollars from a 1-900 number? How much of your friends money? Can they rap? Can you rap? Doesn’t matter. Bad rap or no, you still have money to give! Or your parents money! Money that you could use to buy Land or Time and your parents could use to by the Wheel Before Time. Wait, no, I mixed them up again. NO. NO NO NO NO–

John Hurst is your host this week and he goes three minutes in before making a Land Before Time reference. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he picks the correct Land Before Time sequel to mock.

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What would you do if you’ve been Gadgeted? Would you change the world? Would you fly across the sky, free like an eagle? Would you fix the worlds problems with a random assortment of tools? Or would you sink into a level of debauchery that no person on this planet has seen before, horrifying even the evil Dr. Claw (Who has a face for some reason here)? Let’s hope we never need to find out.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s on point with president’s and around when they were! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s trying to do a kick flip somewhere in D.C at least.

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It’s a rather good time for you to review your internet culture. Like a yearbook, it’s good to fondly reminisce about whatever you were into. Like rose tinted glasses and Quiznos Subs and flash animation. You smile as you turn the page. Where did the time go? You shake your head and laugh. It went away. Now these new sub shops are giving away soft serve and making you beg for your sub in ten seconds or less. It was a simpler time for sub serving. You just toasted your sub and ate until there were no more peppers at the pepper bar. Rather good indeed.

Anyway, welcome to Firehouse!!!!!!!!

John Hurst is your host and he is partially Horse Certified(tm). Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s getting the blender out for this idea.

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It’s that time of year ago! The time of year where the Jones’ turn on their holiday lights and annoy the crap out of the rest of the neighborhood with that there role playing game music synchronized. They don’t even feel the reason for the season, which is straight capitalism! They have to apply nostalgia to it too? Bah humbug! Christmas is where the wallet is at! Buy another box of bone broth and stick it in your kid’s stocking and they’ll be glad to have it! They can drink it while listening to LFO like we used to! What was I talking about? Oh, yes, Christmas Lights! Anyway, the bone broth–

Enjoy the last episode for Season 6! After a short break, we’ll see you in 2023 for Season 7!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s saying GIF the right way. John Hurst is your co-ho-(ho?)-[ho??]-Host and he also is saying GIF the right way.

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You can tell us a story anyway you like. You can weave you tale and flourish it with the most fantastic language. You can win prize after prize. But we bet none of it equals the saga that is “Horse kicks tree, farts on dog then runs away.” Not even Hemmingway would dare approach such a startling tale. But Video Death Loop has. We’re doing it for the future children. They can thank us in their own time. Don’t let your neural-english teacher-bot tell you there is symbolism in something there isn’t. You will know the truth now! But beware; the knowledge you see will set you free, but you will also wail in what you cannot have! Enjoy!!!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s Golf Cart Certified(tm). Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has a dire proclamation to declare to the future digital citizens.

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Vine was the perfect place to go to watch videos of people falling stairs. That’s why they had to get rid of it. That’s why we’re stuck in the social media migration we’re in now. If we had Vine still none of us would be dealing with that. We’d just be dealing with the sheer amount of injuries we all would have from trying to fall down steps and making Bad Idea Ramen. We’d all have our degrees in Haunting and life would be a utopia. But no, it had to go away. We had to live a normal life. A life outside of six seconds. Tragedy. Pure, Greek tragedy.

Anyway, don’t eat our ramen recipe, for the love of Vine.

Aaron is your host this week and he’s selling certificates from beyond the grave (Your grave, not his; Don’t be silly.) John is your co-skeleton and he’s thankful for that trash by his front door after all.

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This episode is supported by Manscaped! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code VDL at Manscaped.com. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with MANSCAPED.

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You’re working for the Middle State Anime Convention Trading Company. You got a fresh supply of Love Hina‘s taken from Minnesota you’re sending downstream to St. Louis and you get a 10% bonus if it’s out before the imports start making their way to the dockside dealer halls. Life is hard, but it has its ups and down. For every Mazinger there’s a Chargeman Ken, as they say in the industry. Oh so you think they might say. You haven’t stepped off the boat in 20 years. You adjust your reading glasses to read the yellow text at the bottom of the screen. You hope Keitaro chooses Konno. This is the life you lead and you let noone tell you otherwise.

John Hurst is your host today and he’s not going to relive his AMV-making past. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s just an ooolllllllld captain on the river just a-rolling.

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This episode is supported by Manscaped! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code VDL at Manscaped.com. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with MANSCAPED.

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It’s the post Thanksgiving gathering with your friends from high school. You’re tired of the family that made you leave the town so it’s time to leave them again and see the real reason why you return. That gang’s all here. You smile and grab a Brand Beer from the Brand Cooler. Life is good. Rock Band is setup but no one is playing. The song on the screen is a 30 second loop of “Maps”.

“Hey, how come no one is playing?” you ask?

“It’s because we’ll have to unlock all the songs again.” one replies, looking for a discarded red solo cup that definitely wasn’t theirs earlier in the night.

“Well, we can do that! Come on, everyone!” you reply, crushing the can with one hand and walking towards the microphone. No one moves. “Oh come on, it’ll be fun!” you try to convince them. They are unmoved, far more interested in what appeared to be a rudimentary game of beer pong from other discarded red cups.

“Well, fine, I can do this myself!” you say, grabbing both guitars. You’re going to be the star of the night for this. It’s time to enact the plan. You just know the drumsticks go last.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is graded on a 437 question system. John Hurst is your at max 25% co-hurst and he has to sit furthest from the Apple II.

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This episode is supported by Manscaped! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code VDL at Manscaped.com. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with MANSCAPED.

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Did you know that Staples has a new logo? Like, three years ago? You didn’t. Don’t lie. I didn’t. I driven by a staples every day this entire time and haven’t noticed it. Because it’s a Staples. But these people did. And clapped. Probably because it’s their job. Probably because they’re fans. We may never know. We just know it’s a great place to buy average pens. But what if we need to go… Deeper?

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s made an enemy of the wrong subreddit. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s going to burn that cinema popcorn one way or another.

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This episode is supported by Manscaped! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code VDL at Manscaped.com. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with MANSCAPED.

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Blow the foghorn, the meat bicycle is here! The Claymore Man comes a-wieldin and to that we’ll have a good eatin’! You can make your own or wait for him to come swinging! Either way, it is a delight and horror to children at the same time and that’s all we really want out of these sort of things. Carols? Gifts? Folklore? Nah. Just a guy with a bunch of meat and potentially a heaping amount of lawsuits. Come over here, you enemy of the health inspector you!

Aaron Littleton is your host and he is celebrating a ancient new tradition in the Video Death Loop household! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s using the meat bicycle for primarily decoy-related purposes.

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Ah, yes. BloodRayne! The franchise that, much like a vampire, refuses to die. Every once in a while a new game comes out. And it’s alright! Enough to enjoy over a weekend of nothing else to do. But that’s it. Like a vampire, you forget they’re there until it’s too late. Then bam! Another game for you! Or, if you were watching MTV2, maybe a semblance of a music video. We hear that’s all the rage now. Video games *and* music? Now that’s madness. True madness.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not sure if he is at a vampire buffet. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is not going to listen to the nurse in this instance.

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Ain’t no better way to kill off your fast food mascot than to leave him eventually discarded by the side of the road. All the mitt wanted was a lite bit of fun! The wind had other plans! He is no longer within the warm embrace of Arby’s, who would later have the meats. But not an over mitt. Never again. Never again until nostalgia takes hold once more.

We have got to get Aaron off of Oven Mitt content. I’m terrified.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he was on banned officially for five years but is “frowned upon”. John Hurst is your co-host and he is about to fight. the ultimate lobby council.

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Atlantis! City Underwater! Source of Legends! Games you played on every system from the Atari 2600 to…. Whatever PS5 game is involving it right now. Maybe a Last of Us. Heck if I know. But it’s there and we seek to prove it! … By getting distracted by philosophers philosophizing and robes. We’ll solve the mystery. Eventually. We just need to get a little comfy.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is only bringing out his freshest material from two years ago. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is binging K95 mask procedures for a very inadvisable method of wearing one.

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Gosh, things are just… TOO. DARN. HOT. I can’t grab all these hot things! Good thing I have the new Hot Hands glove(s) to stop my hands from becoming hot! I no longer need to worry. The power of heat will never touch my cold, blood-filled hands ever again. We will be safe and protected in our new, silicone vessel that gives us life as well as keeps us cool. We are the new Gods. The Hot Hands will take out hands and lead the way. This is Childhood’s End. Here’s your Hot Hands.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and his hair protects him from all that would ail him (Just like Hot Hands!) John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s not tipping his hat to you.

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Soothing music time approaches. It means you’re about to play a game. A Genshin game, maybe. You feel at peace with the world. All is well. The bridge is being made as you walk towards your 10-pull of anime husbandos and waifus. But a thought crosses your mind: Where is Boston, really? Is it like… North? North-ish? Somewhere up there. You think about how you used to do real well at geography. You could beat Mario is Missing like a speedrunner. You got, like, third at that elementary school Geography Bee, man! Where did it go wrong? Was it the Sunsphere? I bet it was the Sunsphere. Obsessed with it, you are. Always hanging out on the edge of your peripheral. Waiting. Firing. No. Wait. Is it firing? Is the Sunsphere Weaponized? Screw this. I’m going back to Chipotle.

John Hurst is your host and he has a high concept for a new podcast. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s ready to discuss those memory mapper chips we promised we would talk about.

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Over Mitts. . Truly, a work everyone will understand. Soon, you will too.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is ready to sit down and watch some shows on the hot new platform Netflix. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he is impossible to stop on the Top 100 baby names lists.

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Shaq goes out onto the ice, slipping on his curling shoes and sliding out to eruptious applause. Pepsi has abandoned him, but none of these fans will. They know his ability to throw the rock, to hurry hard into the goal; Charles Barkley agrees. There is only one obstacle between him and Olympic glory: A pair of very comfortable shorts. You need pants out there, Shaq. It’s cold out there. Shaq. Shaq.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is going to lick that battery. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is extremely critical about Winter Olympic locations.

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Kielbasa! Kielbasa subs everywhere! There’s a party at the Subway Sandwich Shop and you’re not invited because the fire marshal is full enforcement. He lost all his mutant powers during the House of M story arc so he has to use words and pleads for people to not make places into a fire hazard for the Kielbasa Sub from Subway. He wants a taste of the sauerkraut packed blessing too but duty calls first. The blaze of Polka never ends. The P-Man are here to protect us.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s not going to speed run Lee Trevino’s Fighting Golf. John Hurst is your co-host and he has questions about Wolverine’s new powers.

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Michael Bolton does the same thing every day. He wakes up in an exotic location of his own choosing. It’s always a different exotic location. He wanders to his boat, powered by shadowy drivers and crooning, and they go exploring, presumably looking for ladies or abandoned boats or something. Then he goes home and has 800,000 more dollars from the crooning. He wakes up again in another exotic location and repeats the process. He has done this for 20 years. No one can stop him. Not even Michael Bolton himself. And ESPECIALLY not Michael Bolton of Garfield Avenue. Not yet anyway.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s doesn’t want any greasy trophies. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s trying to avoid the bees.

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This is your brain. This is your brain smashing a pan on things. It feels pretty nice, doesn’t it? Fun even. They don’t need that set after they’re done. They’re going to burn it down. Not even for insurance! Not even for pleasure! They just do it. And then you’re going to go voice act as Tifa Lockhart (Sometimes) like Rachel Leigh Cook does here. Yeah, you didn’t know that connection before now, did you? We didn’t either. Now it’s in your brain. Your brain that is on DRUGS. GET THE EGG. BURN THE EGG DOWN.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s doing to bare minimum to differentiate himself from the co-host (including not eating the entire sunflower seed.) John Hurst is your co-host and he wants umpires for congress.

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Join the latest craze: The internet! From America! Specifically, the Online portion of America. Sit in your Office and browse your Sports without having to open up a paper! It’s all virtual, baby! Your can order more khakis now from your home! The wrong sort of khakis! The type you have to adjust all the time! Isn’t that great? They go so well with your long sleeved polo too!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s trying to summon at least one sort of demon on Discord. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he got in line early for the Pope.

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Look, it’s right there on the tin. This rat spins horizontally. You want vertical? That doesn’t sound nearly as good. They have that too. But we like this one. We’re fans of the traditional, horizontally spinning rat values here… AND we have various opinions on crackers. That’s who we are at Video Death Loop. Now make sure to complete your sex debt for the aliens or else you get the trebuchet. Yes, cuddling is fine.

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and he’s ready to put peanut butter all over these saltines. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s sprinkling a bunch of oyster crackers on there like some sort of cereal.

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Ah! After six seasons, we have finally done it! (We are not finally free, we are still doing this. We are trapped in our own prison.) We’ve done the Power Rangers opening! This feels like a thing we should have probably got out of the way in Season 1 or something, right? But we didn’t. We did VR Troopers instead, because that’s how we are (Vee-Arr). Now we’re ready for the big leagues. The highly modified big leagues from the even bigger leagues this show was pulled from. We got the attitude! We got the hangout! We know how to make the best drinks to impress your friends (Find out at the end of this episode!) But mostly, we’re just concerned about the size of this community juice bar. Bring out the Balance Bar for Wednesdays!

John Hurst is your host his week and he is ready for someone to make a “Zordon eating a Hotdog” emoji for his phone. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is very distracted in the Angel Grove Gym and Juice Bar.

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Donkey Kong is trapped. Make no bones about it. The jungle is his hell and he is forced to endure it. His captors: Funky Kong, a Kong that is so funky it does not register on the funkotronic scale, and Diddy Kong, a hellspawn designed by Satan’s intern. Together, they control everything Donkey Kong sees and does. Go on a treasure hunt, Donkey Kong. Dance with us, Donkey Kong. Dig the hole for our glorious leader, Donkey Kong. There is nothing left in the soul of our hero. He is only forced to go on their whims. We, the viewers are trapped as his only companion. Let’s go on this treasure hunt together.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s got a pocket for all that lotion. John Hurst is your co-host and he is doing the secret handshake to end the podcast while typing this post up because he is very talented.

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It’s 1995. You have found the end of Dollywood. It’s in the woods! Why is it in the woods! You don’t know. You just know it’s looking less like a theme park and more…. Wood-like. There’s an Eagle Sanctuary nearby that says Dollywood and the ride has the Butterfly logo on it, but is that enough to trust it? You think quietly for a moment and think “Yes. If Dolly Parton says it is, then it must be. You know better than to question it. You enter the wooden coaster entrance and grab out your VHS Camcorder. This time, you are going to record it for posterity for the alt.entertainment.rides.coasters usenet. The tapes will circulate very well for such an obscure coaster in East Tennessee and you know it. You hit record. You hear a scream from the nearby Blazing Fury. You know they just dodged death. You smile. Life is good.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s got the best fastpass options on lock. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s just having one. One!

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It’s AMERICA’S GAME! Accept it! Accept its place in the heart of America! Specifically three contestants at a time who can win fabulous prizes! Spin the wheel! Feel valued! Lose it all and start all over again! It’s Wheel of Fortune! What, you think you have to try?! This ain’t Jeopardy! Just say a letter! If it’s a vowel, we make you pay for it! It’s your damn fault for using so many vowels in English! This is America’s Tax! Or Game! The Tax Game! Play it! Now!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he reviews the latest regional milk craze and then reviews it again with a twist. John Hurst is your co-host and can’t stop talking about soup.

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Chicago! Line on up! Come get your slam dunked submarine sandwich, made specially by the Chicago Bulls! Small Forward Scottie Pippen is making them hot off the basket! Mystical sandwich powers can be a curse, but the Bulls make the curse look so very good! Even better than a newspaper from the future? Well, that’s up for debate. It’s kind of like the Green Lantern but…. Sandwiches.

This is a weird episode.

John Hurst is your host this week and he smells clove cigarettes at the airport. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and Subway’s subliminal ads are working a little too well on him.

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Snowman are cute until you realize they have teeth. They don’t teach that in science and biology. Not because they don’t want you to know but because you have to find out the horrifying truth for yourself. Every person has to come across that, much like you on the highway trying to find any sort of liquid to parch your throat. You have teeth. They have teeth. You share common ground now. You reach for the same Nestea soft tea drink. And then you both scream. It’s the same cadence. The same terror. The same tea.

Drink the (nes)tea.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and and he’s not sleeping in the gasoline house. John Hurst is your co-host and he is regretting his decision for unlimited regional soda.

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20 yards away there is a bear. It’s running at you. You’re not sure though. You need to use math and you’re math, for lack of a better word, is faulty. You got your bear spray with you and you’re not afraid to use it. You just want to make sure you’re not wasting it. The bear would not appreciate you wasting it. You certainly don’t to waste it in case because otherwise you will experience the full wrath of the bear running at you. It’s just mutual trust in a conflict, really. What if we could make it happen in a way that makes it easy to understand the distance though? A way that only 90s kids will know. Yes, that’s the ticket. Sorry, people who experiences the 80s, 00s and beyond. Your time is limited. It’s the 90s reign again. And we know how to stop the bears.

First, load Google Maps.

John Hurst is your host this week and and he’s trying to quickly judge distances in the most wrong way possible. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he doesn’t care if he fails Boating Safety in Science, Tennessee. You can’t stop him!

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Look up at the sky! It’s a UFO! Television Opening! Fromm the 70s! Several groups of people in several environments are on the case! Maybe. They’re looking like they are, save for the Sub crew. They’re ready for local goth night on the submarine. You can’t escape goth night, Gary! You gotta listen to Bauhaus and fight aliens with us! There’s no other way. Gary, come on. We’re going to Skydiving later too. I got a coupon. Where you going, Gary? Garrrrryy! Come on, man.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s going to make the taxi service for podcasters. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s trying to spend all this clout.

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Behold! A Nintendo! At your local mega toy store, even! Does that other store have? We say nay! Don’t even look in that trash fire they call a “shoppe”. We know they don’t have it because we of Toys R’ Us say they don’t! We made the deal with Nintendo! It’s our stock! You can’t have it! Unless you want to buy it from us? Then, okay. Maybe we can come to some sort of arrangement. We’ll meet in a secure location. Say, at our Toys R’ Us stores all across the US? Video Game Aisle? Ask for Rex at the video game counter. He’s the one with the knife wounds.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s trying to prevent the aging process by not learning. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he found a loop hole to get out of podcast conversations.

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Freeze, kids! Don’t you move! This is an emergency! A food emergency! We gotta get you the most non-food content your body can technically digest! Here, suck on this hose full of cheese! Then eat the fruit roll up and corn! Your body will eventually make something that resembles nutrition, but for the sake of all that is Holy, you cannot move. And you definitely cannot eat that brownie. THAT BROWNIE IS LAST FOR A REASON. Didn’t you follow the directions on the– oh god they ate the brownie. Get the penguin. Get the damn penguin! Now!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is worried about when the fruit roll-up comes into play. John Hurst is your co-host and he loves the flavor of yellow Quantum Juice, full of yellow!

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The 90s were a time. Some humans experienced it and it was okay! Other humans did not and that is okay too. Just know that during that time we had a song by Rednex blaming a Cotton-Eye Joe for not being married some long time ago. The good news is that the 00’s also could experience their dismay towards Cotton-Eye Joe, as long as they were inside a fallout shelter. And singing into a light bulb. That’s all they have in the future. Let them have it. We aren’t going to experience that time and it’s okay. Captain Jack will be there to guide us towards the light, though.

John Hurst is your co-host and he is sad that Crazy Frog is Twitter dead. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s getting the special High School ring made.

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO–

Aaron Littleton is your host and he’s getting drunk off news gift chocolate liquers. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s incensed by the size of Cheez-Its(tm.)

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Hey everyone! Do you have your copy of Mortal Kombat 3 yet? How about the movie? The action figure? The animated direct-to-video show? The stage show? The cookbook? Well, come with us to E3 1995 and be Hype(tm) for Content(tm)! We have all the content! What’s the internet? We barely know about it! It might not even be that big of a deal! Buy our strategy guide instead! Find a morning star! Learn a martial art with dragons on it! Get lost at the mall with the morning star and be escorted out by security! Only then can you truly know what Mortal Kombat fever is all about!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s ready to incite the incantation. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has a sandwich suggestion for you.

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Ah, yes, the woods! Where nature and vampires co-exist as one. Humans may think they control the earth, but no sirree bob! Only a vampire knows the hard work you have to put into the earth. Raising raccoons, shrinking horses, spending an inordinate amount of time in the outhouse. Yes, we vampires know the earth better than we know ourselves. Why, we even used to bury gold out here, somewhere. I think. I need to go back and check. That was three hearts ago. It was when that movie with the fake vampires that was very popular was in the nickelodeon. They didn’t have one horse in it, I don’t think? I watched 30 minutes of it. I was too busy taking care of my tiny horses.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s pretty sure he won’t be at his high school reunion. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s concerned about a Lee Greenwood sighting.

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Behold! Look upon your trash bags and despair at their quality! They are not Hefty brand trashbags so they are INFERIOIR in the eyes of God and all that he holds before him as good and pure. You will not be chosen in the rapture. Nay, he will clean you up in his Hefty-branded trash bag and throw you in the bowels of hell themselves. There, you will have one friend only, a Rat King you cannot get away from. You won’t be able to decide if the Rat King is one friend of many friends because you’ll be screaming. Please enjoy!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not going to go look in the tall grass. Aaron Littleon is your co-host and he needs to find a good deal on a snow shovel.

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The Waves! The Races! The Sixty-Fours! Never has one game combined so many nouns successfully and succinctly. It had a sponsor and and it had dolphins but it knew better than to not push its luck on the name. No, three is the magic number. Let the waves do the talking! When the world is covered in Wave Race 64 carts we will be let nature take its course. Wave Race will feed us. Wave Race will care for us. Wave Race is life.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is in need of the perfect meatball sub. John Hurst is your co-host and he promises a new podcast platform we can all depend on (We cannot depend on it.)

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Gather your teen pop posse and dance a closely-knit jig, because it’s time for witchery to begin. We have one single target: A single boy in a field of flowers. The goal: throw him into the minivan. Most importantly, do not ask or answer questions. If someone asks if you are the Irish pop group B*Witched (with a star in the middle) you say “Yes” but don’t you dare answer “But the Record Wizard is the one in control.” It may be true, but don’t speak it! The dog will be recording. We will know.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s going to complain to Father Time in the form of a written letter. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has enough blue and green food coloring for all the pancakes.

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Donnie Yen! You get off this car this instance! You don’t know where it’s been! I leave you alone for two minutes and you’re breakdancing all over the city like the opening to some Hong Kong film! Slapping stickers all over yourself like you are sponsored and warming up hot dogs in your pants? What will the people say? … Other than that you’re super fly of course! Nah, Donnie Yen, you can do whatever you want. Keep on breakin’! Breakin’ 2 maybe, even!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s ready to search very, very low for a hot dog. John Hurst is your co-host and he knows a guy who can find an Egg Roll.

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The Classic Rock station is on. You don’t know why it’s on. You didn’t turn to it. You thought you were listening to your Bluetooth phone. but it’s there and it’s playing Creed. That Creed song. The song that takes you higher. You start wondering where the time went. Where your friends are. Hey, look at this photograph. No, wait, wrong song. “Higher.” Yes, take me higher. Raise both of those arms wide open. You pull over at the Scot-Stop and get some coffee. The song continues in the store with the low hum from the beer section. The clerk looks at you with a nod. He says he saw Creed back in ’99. You don’t believe him. You know what happened to those who saw the band. You were the lead guitarist Mark Tremonti. It was a mess. You did what Brian Henson told you to do and never spoke of it again. The nightmares speak for you. You bought a boat and thought you could finally find peace. You did not. You got coffee instead.

You get back into the car. You hear a click from the back seat. “Don’t move”, a false baritone voice says. It’s Scott Stapp. You can see in the fuzz growing from his back from the rear-view mirror. You realize the situation now. You never really did leave. No one did.

John Hurst is your host this week and he wants to eat the Fruits of Atlantis. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s now officially licensed to be a co-host!

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Maritime Law is NOW. Come aboard the cruise ship! Kathy Lee Gifford is here to show you the way! Sneak on some alcohol and buy their expensive alcohol too! Become a goblin! Celebrate the purge! Drink in a Frog Bar… Thing? We don’t know what that is or what you do on a cruise ship but we know what we’re going to do as soon as we are forced on one! Also, we hope that they have internet for all this Crackle we are watching.

Aaron Littleton is your host and he’s entering the Plinko Dungeon. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s not going to see Lucky Number Slevin after this episode, despite what he said during the episode.

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Attention, Spacemart Shoppers! We know we could just give you a text notification into your intellivisor, but we feel the bitcrushed tone of the personal announcement system just has that special touch, you know? We hope you’re enjoying your fabulous new virtual reality shopping experience like we are recreating it! We just released the latest version and now have implementing queues for your inconvenience. Now you stand around in real life and in the virtual one! Double standing! Also, there’s a bunch of apples on sale. We cannot guarantee they actually exist. Please buy eight or more.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s ready to take off this slightly wet sock. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s waiting to do a 10-pull for a five star market greeter.

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It’s 9:28 AM in Colorado Springs. There is chance of isolated thunderstorms in your neck of the woods. But it’s alright. You’re at home, your belt is off, the fireplace is not on (Because it’s nearly 80 degrees and that seems unwise) and you have the mood lighting all set to low, low, low. You got yourself a hot date between you, a special lady friend, and the weather channel muzak blaring piping hot. It puts you at ease with its tender chords and calm voice explaining the weather for the week. Nothing can go wrong. Nothing, except for the fact that someone has kicked off their call sign on the nearby HAM Radio and are asking for a confirmation. You sigh. You put back on your belt and get in your truck. A day’s work is never truly done.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is being deputized to point out some clouds! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s getting suspenders from the internet, but not of his own volition.

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The squeaky clean image of Pizza Hut in the early 80s didn’t last too long. You can only go through so many neon aerobic workout videos before it changes a person or a company. By the 90s anyone and everyone was hocking PS1 demo discs and cassette tapes and we learned it from Father Pizza Hut. We emulated our pizza lord and pizza savior for a taste of that personal pan freedom. The reign was short lived; soon other pizza deities would come into the space and we had no room in our heard for a vengeful, midwestern God of a pizza chain. The other guys had ticket games and Mortal Kombat II and we were hungry. Always hungry. Still, we find a red see-through cup from time to time and think about where we came from, in the dim glow of Tiffany lamps illuminating our path. You sigh. Your hometown screams. Ahhhhh.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s trying to finish the book of Deuteronomy to get that sweet Book It! award. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and he’s here to award the verdict on every generation future and past by name.

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Melissa is calling again. She wants to talk. It’s too much. The older boy can’t handle it. His weekly paycheck at the Kum & Go gas station is going straight to bathroom cleaning products. The younger brother is scrubbing away every night making sure the bathroom shines before Melissa inevitably calls again. He doesn’t see the same bald man giving him the wink of a job well done that everyone else does. He only sees himself. He, doing the dirty job noone else is willing to do. All with a bottle of Mr. Clean by his side. He doesn’t know why he’s even doing it. He just can’t stand to see it dirty. He wonders why their mother doesn’t put a stop to this in between her power meetings and power lunches. A voice in the back of his mind tells him this is all part of his training. His training sucks. The whole situation sucks. But still he scrubs. And scrubs. And scrubs.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s looking for an unnecessarily large bathroom for his next house. John Hurst is your co-host and and he’s got bones (not words) to pick with the vocabulary of Wordle.

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ARE. YOU. READY TO. GO?!
CAUSE. I’M READY. TO GO!
ARF. ARF ARF ARF. ARF ARF!?
BABY, BABY!

Powerman 5000! 5000 men of power! Colliding worlds! Wearing goggles! Getting stuck with powers beyond their control to fight the evil who is stopping their concert! It’s all very Ultra Mega. Nowadays, to get that Ultra Mega you just have to go to a one of the many dance party Saturday at DragonCon. It’s in limited quantities and we have to preserve it so that the next generation can have a little of that healthy industrial mega-ness. It’s to be cared for alongside this planet. So let’s put on some goggles and get ready to go! Cause I’m ready to go and oh crap it’s in my head now.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s ready to get physically thrown into space. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s wanting to try on those goggles. Neither host went to Space Camp and this is important.

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Here in the year Two Thousand and Twenty Two, we at Video Death Loop can never be as cool as people who wreck cars for Hollywood. We especially wouldn’t want to get in the way of those who wrecked Jeeps for the A-Team back in the day, because we’re pretty sure they could still wreck us. We don’t want to run into them in the grocery store and they find a conveinent, highly convoluted way to flip our cart with all our delicious fruits and vegetables over a convienent ramp next to the flowers. We know that way lies madness and damnation. And with madness and damnation comes George Peppard, happily smoking away on a cigar despite the no smoking signs (and alarms) all around him. The A-Team always get their mark. At least we know we’re going to have a kick-ass stunt course to jump through on the way home. Thanks, “_/Stunty69-420”. I’m proud to call you my neighbor.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he suddenly realized we do this show without a script. John Hurst is your co-host and he is being very podcast professional to ring in the new year.

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Warning! This animation is not for kids! It’s literally what every anime commercial in the 90s did and Columbia House was no exception! Stick that “NOT FOR KIDS” sticker on the front and let’s watch some exploding heads! Mileage may vary. Shipping will definitely vary. But you will at least get Akira on VHS and that’s pretty good! Just be careful or else you’ll start a podcast 20 years later.

John Hurst is your host and also is the God of Podcast for this particular bit of content. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he can’t watch Sword Art Online on an elliptical.

And with this, this is the last episode for Season 5 and 2021! We will be taking a short two week break but we’ll back strong in January in 2022! You are now contractually required to come back and listen as we all start the year anew together. Neat!

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Do you remember the radio, the thing you would you to listen to music that you now listen to podcasts on? Do you remember news radio, the thing you would listen to that was also not podcast and was more focused on our grim reality? How about Newsradio, the comedy show about being on the news and also about radio? We don’t! We don’t remember a thing about it outside of what we see in the clip we linked. There’s some good, funny bits? Damned if we can remember them though. Andy Dick eats a hot dog in the worst possible way. A future podcaster gets their start on conspiracies. People look disgusted at New York City, which is the default norm for anyone on or off a sitcom show in the 90s. And there’s a microphone! Good ol’ Mikey. Almost makes you forget about the time travel death escapades. Almost.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is sore from SPOOKYNESS. John Hurst is your co-host and he still doesn’t believe Aaron’s not trying to show him the Sonic the Hedgehog 2 trailer on loop.

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IT’S BISCUIT TIME at Tudor’s Biscuit World, which promises to you a world of biscuits (as long as you are getting biscuits in West Virginia.) They have them all! The biscuits you think about! The ones you don’t! Some that are named after people? Why are they named after people? Are they people? No, let’s step back on that. Maybe we are being a little too hasty. They gave us a catchy song to eat biscuits to. And they look quite delicious! And they’re giving away a truck! But tell me why is this biscuit so angry at me? Why can I feel its anger? It’s just a biscuit! Right? … Right?

Anyway, one ron and coffee please!

John Hurst is your host and he’s only here for the screaming biscuits. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not into getting a haircut for your review.

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Can we offer you a broken roomba repair video in this trying time? The mole people don’t need one, something about floors already being made of dirt and no eyes to see it. The robots don’t need one because they are SO perfect anyway. So I guess we gotta give it to humans. Come, let us watch it on loop and learn nothing about robotic maintenance!

Aaron Littleton is your host and he is singing a chip tune funeral dirge for robotic-kind. John Hurst is your co-host and and is making both good and bad decisions towards his own health, sometimes in thr same hour.

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Sure, you can be edgy, but what happens when you add bullets to the edge? Faster edges. Faster than Microsoft Edge. Faster than Final Fantasy IV Edge. Faster than whatever else is Edge-related that I can say. You guffaw at the Gunblade from FF8 but let’s be honest: You’d definitely fire one if someone presented it to you to try out. You might even have fun with it, provided you didn’t lose a digit or eight from the experience. Would you shift off to morning practice against your eternal rival and trade kickass scars though? Eh, maybe not. But maybe yes! Nothing more cool than trading scars. It’s 1999. You got a lot of time and oh so little scars.

Anyway, we watch the FF8 Opening on Loop and realizing college football’s secret true form.

John Hurst is your host this week and he has a milk review! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is junctioning more haste for a faster quarterback.

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Ducks, man. Ducks love some peas. They love them more than I think I love any actual food as a human, if this video is any proof. We here at Video Death Loop are both in awe and terrfied of the ability of a duck to tear through and muddy up a bowl that once had peas in it even when they seem to be perfefctly clean. Where did the dirt come from? Is it all within! Do they mix it with the peas to make some sort of terrifying chocolate vegetable treat? The world may never know, except for the ducks of the world. And they grow with power with every bowl of delicious green veggies given to them. Be ready. Tonight we ride.

Aaron Littleton is your host and he is turning safe search off for Poland. John Hurst is your co-host and he is accidentally making way too many horse-sized animals that are not horses.

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Video Death Loop Pita Krispies

1 pan (variable size)
1 bag of marshmallows
4 coffee cups vegetable oil (nearly expired)
1-2 bag/box of unflavored pita chips
1 video of a guy with with a hammer and a strong opinion of Gustav Mahler Symphony #6
Also the hammer from the video

Crush Pita Chips in bag with hammer to hammer’s preference. Pour into the pan to layer the bottom. Microwave marshmallows to a weird expanded size and place them on top of the chips. Fill the rest of the pan with vegetable oil and remaining chips. Bake?! Bake. Definitely bake.

Serves one (?!) Send remaining to Archive dot Org as thanks.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s freshening up the intern dorms! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and is reframing weird size art.

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There’s a Starman in a Pixar trailer this time. He is currently waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us, but Aaron said to dare let him try! It’s just as well, honestly. It gives the starman (Perhaps the Lightyear, as seen above) more time to think about far more important things. Like cake. God, cake is good. You can’t bring cake with you to space. It’d crumble and get in all the components and sure it’d probably be delicious but also you could die from faulty controls? On the other hand, there’s no 5 second rule in space, so I’m pretty sure the cake stays good. I think it’s worth the risk. What do you all think? This is now a cake podcast. Let us all eat cake.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s now officially a part of the Toy Story timeline. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s got some blood he needs to buy from Marvel.

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What is the best part of waking up? Is it actually successfully waking up, realizing you escaped the clutches of death for at least one more night? Is it the toast from the toaster and/or toaster oven and/or oven wafting through the house? Is it the coffee jingle? Maybe. We are forgetful in our modern age and no longer thank life for the gifts it has given us. We have turned our back from even Rockapella, who have blessed us with a doo wop song based on our favorite franchises. They wait for us at our favorite morning spots, waiting. But we do not come to these locations. We skip the convenience and go right onto the drudge of morning standup meeting, making small talk about The Game with a co-worker who you suspect has not seen The Game for several years. It’s okay, you haven’t too. You just need something to talk about. There’s no fun anymore. Especially if Rockapella is around. They saw to that. You saw to that. We saw to that. Welcome to the human race.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not allowed to do a bit! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he doesn’t want to be surprised (Even with a bit!)

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Sing it with me, everyone! Salad Shooooooter! Sing it from the top of your lungs into our ears, preferably while you’re making a salad with the toppings of a sald! Get a corded one! Get a cordless one while you’re at it! Use them all Salad Akimbo! Make your co-workers worry at the next potluck from all these casserole style dishes! Forget about it with the rest of your pandemic hobbies! Let it fester in your drawern for 20 years! Suddenly remember it is there! Worry about the lithium ion battery in the cordless one! Now your house is on fire! There’s a lot of key points missing between those last two sentences! Maybe you should have checked the Security Sticker!

Slice or Shred this podcast with a side of non-Romaine lettuce. Enjoy for up to two (2) ears.

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Cellular DNA. Mobile Phone RNA. Landline Mitochondria. It’s all connected, man. It’s all making energy with us because it is us. Until it isn’t. Then it decides to take us to a nice night to the opera and set us on fire. That seems a little petty, honestly. It could have talked it through with us and we work together become a hideous malformed evil, but I suppose cells will be cells and humans will be a big splotch of cells. At least let us influence Frozen first. We’ll call it Fire… zen. Firezen. Yes.

This is Parasite Eve, also. I think.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is on the forefront of making de-risked content. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is listening all the way to the end of the episode to keep that audience

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SUBMIT TO THE DANCE. Enjoy it. Learn to live with it. Enjoy the 24 hour support, 365 days of the week. Ignore the fact that they’re genetically engineered for maximum advertising, these tiny mice. Ignore the cat in the corner that they use to make sure they do their job as efficiently as possible. Ignore the master technician mouse, designing computers we humans cannot even begin to comprehend. Do not ignore the cat. The cat is the most important part. This is Mouse Idol. Be ready.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s got a broom that can fix this problem. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s still looking for a Stuckey’s gas station.

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You knew it was only time before we put a death loop within video death loop. It’s recursion, baby! We’re with it and within it too! You can use that in your next Programming 101 class, professors. And skateboarders too if you’re really into recursion. Maybe other podcasters too. This is now a recursion podcast.

Anyway, instead of talking about the obvious one, have a sickass skateboard trick! You’ll thank us later when we all start trading in Rad Points!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s trying to help get his for a little known game studio that released a game this week. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he advises you not to touch the koalas.

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In the beginning, a single chocolate bar will rise. Or maybe it’s chocolate. Is it really? This is an ad for sexy white chocolate and they are really piling on how freeing this chocolate will make you damn feel. You’ll see a swing and maybe some bubbles and you won’t even notice because sexy times are quickly approaching at warp speed. There’s someone there ready to take your picture. You paid for the 3×5 package to send to everyone in your Christmas card. What they (and you) don’t know is how dangerously sexy things are about to get. Close up the studio, it’s time for the real photos to begin. Thank you, Nestle Alpine White Chocolate w/ Almonds. This one goes out to you.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s feeling fighty but only 1:30 AM Waffle House Fighty. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s wondering how Drake had all this time to do math also. Special thanks to Torzelbaum for the video suggestion!

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Welcome to the show! We got it all! We got circuses that have turned psycho from animation! We got cool ass skeletons! We got these older guys in makeup! We got a green screen and Silicon Graphics workstation! We don’t need anything else for ROCKING. Well, maybe a Gibson sponsorship. And a clown. Maybe two clown– No, only one. We can’t have any more. MTV may not play it if we go over the maximum number of clown. Okay, now, let’s ROCK OUT. In a limited window because we can only afford so much green screen? We’re KISS, and the first S stands for “Savings”. The second “S”? … Also, Savings. Look, Gene needs a new yacht.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is switching to Internet Beat Time! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is strongly considering repositioning the internet, globally.

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A secret from the templars! Tom Hank’s hair! Jesus! Maybe. I don’t know. I never watched it. There’s a code and Da Vinci has something to do with it. It was big in the 2000s, much like “art” and “media”. People running through the streets, either in pursuits in codes or running away from codes! This movie has it all! I guess. It also has Ron Howard, SON.

Come find a mystery with us! And talk about a Ron Jeremy movie too!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s walking in and out of shadows cryptically. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s off to create the greatest virus since “ILOVEYOU”.

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Turtle Pies! From Hostess! And the Ninja Turtles! In the 90s you could get away with any crime as long as you were associated wih a popular children’s brand. Put some vanilla pudding in a what looks to be a malformed pickle? Sure! Sounds tasty! Sell it to the kids! Heck, give them a free card and maybe they’ll buy more! The executives all high five each other while signing checks with the other hand, showing how ambidextrous they can be when it comes to money. They go home and make dinner for themselves and maybe their family too. In the corner, they might see a chef’s hat. “I don’t remember buying that”, one may say. They didn’t. The Chef’s Hat has chosen. And you do not want to dismiss its knowledge lightly.

The pies are probably okay tasty. We watch them on loop enough to where we are convinced of that, anyway.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s working of Big Chef on a conspiracy. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not going to look directly at the black hole.

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The cats, oh how they shake! How they shake in the earthquake! Quiet they stand and let the ground move. They hold their sway for a few moments. They knew they brought this on the earth and knew they must be careful. If they swayyed any harder, the big cats with the phone cameras may fall over and that would be funny too, but that’s not according to the plan. They will sway when the swaying time is right. But first, they shall bathe in the sun in the middle of a street. Then the swaying!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is trying all the veggie sausages. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s trying to tell cats all about eyes.

Special thanks to listener muteKi for the video suggestion!

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OH MY GOD THREE PERCENT LIQUIDITY. That sounds great! Whatever that means! JRR Token, the latest in cryptofashion, has all that and more for you. Will they explain what it means? Maybe? Maybe not. There’s a pie chart. They burned a part of it? And why does everything smell like pancakes? Maybe it’s all the pancakes. Maybe. Okay, I admit it’s probably all of the pancakes.

We get pretty weird pretty quick and we blame Ethan. Always blame Ethan.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is too busy incorporating companies that will turn against him. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s looking into the approximate damage that can be done with a Harbor Freight chainsaw.

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The Crazy Frog is only like 30% crazy, max. Sure, like he is unusual, but I wouldn’t say he is crazy. Maybe like speaks louder than normal at a restaurant crazy. Goes to the grocery store and buys at least four different flavors of pop tart crazy. Rents the wet vacuum from the same grocery store but keeps it for four days crazy. Posts on twitter about a wild day but was just sitting at home soldering cables together crazy. He’s not even that crazy at all and I think it’s time we reflect on that as a society. He parkours well though! I guess that’s all it takes!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he has a sound for this radio station that they’re going to hate. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s going to put that sound to a computer animated model and make no bang. The Record Company is going to buy both and make a tidy profit!

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Those chips need to escape. Into your hands, specifically. Into your mouth, where the delicious junk morsels must go. But heaven is denied and you have taken to greater measures. You back up. It’s personal now. It’s just you, a roomful of classmates with easy access to photographic evidence and a vending machine with a hatred for the living. You have trained for this moment. You got a green belt in taekwondo by the Dollar General for this moment. It’s time to put your feet to the glass sheet. In a few moments, the world will know your power, but for now they will only know your determination.

John Hurst is your host this week and he hopes that the chips traped aren’t Salt & Vinegar. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and can get like seven Surge cans easy.

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Hey, look! It’s the Doctor! The Doctor of Whositwhatsit! There were many of the Doctor and Sylvester McCoy may be your winking doctor! But overall, he is a distraction from the TRUTH. The truth your conspiracy discord and DVDs don’t even want you to know! The plan was hidden under our nose this entire time by the description of the Doctor’s regeneration. It was not merely a ploy to continue the show when one actor got tired. It was a way of being for one of the most powerful political figures in history? This is where we reel you in to listen find out who! Who?! WHO?!

Also, we watch the opening on loop.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and has a comeback campaign to plan. John Hurst is your co-host and he is working on the next incorporate podcast for incorporal beings.

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SCENE – EXT. NEW YORK SCENE

The Video Death Loop hosts (Aaron Littleton and John Hurst) are in a conundrum! John yet again bought a sandwich that is Too Large to fit the in refridgerator! Hijinks ensue. If they can’t fit it in the fridge, it’s going to get moldy and smell! And the landlord has got an extra-sensory nose recipticle that is state of the art and Definitely Not From a Robot ™ All the knives are dull and will not cut! Whatever will our heroes do? Quick, watch this video explaining a TikTok video that a robot definitely did not make. It contains 0% footage of the TikTok video, just like how there are definitely 0 robots in this room and/or city!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s got to hide this giant scorpion in his apartment fast. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s nodding approvingly(?) at a computer.

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The party is going well. The music is banging. The people are awesome. And you got some good movies playing in the background. The kind that are good to have in the background and you don’t have to pay attention to. But the movie is over and the punch bowl needs refilling. You can do replace both easy, but not at the same time. You can refill the punch bowl, but you risk the screensaver kicking in on your DVD player and then everyone might venture off onto the dusty trail for the evening, leaving you a mess to clean up before bed. Or you can change out the DVD and leave the punch unpunched for a little longer, which your parched and perhaps drunkenly parched friends may rib you a bit to fill it up. Noone wants a ribbing. That’s never good. You have a choice to made. You better hurry. The settings default to five minutes. Go.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he tried the blue (not Star Wars) milk! John Hurst is your co-host and and he’s got more followers than the blue milk makers so TAKE THAT.

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It is the Nineties and it’s time for Flipper! But not the Elijah Wood/Paul Hogan feature film. No, you’re getting the 1995 television remake for.. Channel? Was it a channel? Was is on TV? We don’t know, but there’s like four seasons, a Tim Allen lookalike, an actual Jessica Alba and one coke-addled dolphin who is living their best life inside one third story dolphin flat. This is their story. It might involve crimes!

It definitely involves crimes. A lot of crimes.

John Hurst is your host this week and he has a strong desire to become soup. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and and he’s real mad we didn’t do a particular pun until the very end!

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Come to Super Van City!!! It’s a Van! And a City! All in one!!!! But it’s tiny too. But the big sort of tiny? The kind of tiny that has a whole block to it, with a potential small (micro) kabab place with the good kababs and the one with the okay kababs too. And if you go to the okay one, it’s alright! It’s not going to ruin your day! You’re at SUPER VAN CITY, you hip micro machine you! A wizard probably runs it! You better hope it’s a wizard anyway. If it’s a sorcerer who runs your Super Van City, there may be some concerns to be had the micro-citizens. Council meeting at the Micro Race Track at 6!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he the absolute perfect Game Genie code for you at the end of this episode, so stick around. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s sneaking into record a podcast with very distinguishing straw hat.

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Don’t you wanta? I’m tempted to end the post there. There’s a few of us (Namely the two of us hosting this podcast you are looking at right now) who have an instant reaction to those words or the saccharine jingle that is somehow melody-less and catchy at the same time. The trend is to call us “Geriatric Millennials” And you’d be right, but haven’t we had enough? We have to sling so much irony and sarcasm at you all this time. I know it’s hard but someone it has to do it and it may as well be the generation that saw the music videos live on Music Television before it became a shirt you wore! This is all our generation is good at! It is our craft! We fine-tuned ‘our generational antikythera sarcasm mechanism at retail jobs, watching boring daytime television when our AOL ran out for the month and sharing our limited but discounted soda with our brethren while listening to juggalo mixtape CD-Rs on our 5-CD Car Changer. Leave us be! We’re the reason you’re listening to podcasts! Now, don’t you want a Fanta or not?!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is rolling up his 2000s-era LARP character. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s coming to the class with the finished workbook!

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Aliens! Do they exist? Who knows?! Maybe the government if they can stop shrugging their damn non-alien shoulders! What are we looking at? Bigfoot? The Moon? A crude-shaped future drone? We asked every member of Blink-182 their opinion and we realized we don’t personally know any of the members of that band so we’re stuck and out of options. Maybe the answer is… Up there. Bring a shovel.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s contemplating the structure of a specific drone. John Hurst is your co-host and is looking up new hip dot coms for the modern age!

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Your neighbor has left for the weekend. You offered to house sit and they’re ecstatic to have such a friendly neighbor willing to do it for free. But you have an ulterior motive. You know they’re using the Pizza-Tron 5000 XL Microwave, with extra room for maximum flakyness on the dough. You know it’s next to the window and easily viewable from your own house. And you know that the window is going to be open because you’re the one opening windows now.

You know all this because it’s time. It’s time to frisbee that pizza. It’s now or never. The devil’s work ain’t going to do itself now, is it?

John Hurst is your host this week and he is not going to leave this dusty crossroads without a deal. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is still quite full, thank you.

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Twelve issues of animals! Twelve of them! Can you name them all?

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and That’s the promise of Zoobooks where you are going to learn about these specific animals or die trying. If you survive, you get a cool tiger poster, thee centerpiece to any elementary school child’s room. If you don’t, well, your parents got 6 more sweet issues about camels to sift through. And this new copy of Lamborghini Tigerposter’s new licensed game to play they got for your birthday. Hey, he looks way older than he should be on this title screen. Weird. Ah well. Animals!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s got a list of animals he will at least try to learn about. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s trying to find the rare actually legal Video CD.

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o/~ AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH! HOOKED ON A FEELING! This baby is dancing! And it is called a meme! Though we didn’t know it yet! And some other words right here!”

Honestly, I don’t know what else to say about this. It’s a baby. it’s dancing. It was on a hit TV show for an episode and people talked about it. Now we’re talking about it. On loop. Forever. Or until the episode ends. Maybe not! Maybe we’re still talking about it right now. As you’re listening to this episode. Don’t tell the Welch’s Corporation. Definitely don’t tell the Welch Corporation.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is looking for his Black & Decker hair care hardware. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s looking for a way to get that free jam!

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Melrose Place! It’s a place near Beverly Hills, 90210! It has people! Sexy people! Do they know the people from the show ‘Beverly Hills, 90210’? Let’s hope not, if that want to survive to the next season! Always stopping the music and re-assuring the audience that maybe they won’t die in a horrible firey accident at the end of the episode. All this as the smooth soft rock starts and stops with their sick, pillow-soft solos. Is that Melrose Place? We’re not sure! But we’re pretty sure Ford sponsors it. Come listen to us watch people turning and looking sexy!

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There’s something strange about pest control companies. Something a little unhinged. Maybe it’s the destruction of thousands of tiny little vermin and bugs every day that breaks a person. Maybe it’s entering house upon house looking for every fault. Maybe it’s the smell of all those chemicals mixed together, just wafting around in his truck. But every battle hardened pest control company evolves to gain two things in their lifetime: 1) A friggin’ bop of a commercial jingle and 2) A nephew who just installed Blender for the first time. If they don’t, are they really a pest control company? Nay, I say. They are mere impostors without these elements. Come back to my home when you have a commercial jingle in the Billboard Top 100! Or if you want to throw a party while I’m not there! Either is okay!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is jealous of the sizzle of Aaron’s fajitas and now wishes he ordered them! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s perfectly satisfied with the sizzle level of his fajitas.

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When the hell are we getting back from those messages? Did we ever leave? Did we get those 80s and 90s toys they were about to talk to us about! Did we ever achieve the ultimate in fantasy weaponry? We don’t know because we’re trapped in a claymation hell going bump in the night with a sentient fire hydrant that is torturing a poor dog who just happens to be around. And the man plays his guitar. The crew in the poodle skirts watch. ABC starts taking notes. It’s got some good ideas for bumpers, whether kids want them or not. You going to watch Sonic the Hedgehog or not, kid? Oh you will. Just after these messages. After. These. Messages.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s never going to get the Start button on his copy of Windows 95. John Hurst is your co-host and the last hope for the Chicago Bulls in the mid-90s?!?

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Oh, you think it’s just going to be a nostalgia trip through commercial land. They always think that. One minute you’re watching the Bubble Tape Commercial on a streaming site of your choice and the next minute you’re buying it at your gas station and remembering that chalky taste that never quite goes away. As you chew threw the six feet of partially digestible chewing material, you suddenly get a revelation of how the world works all around you. Angels roar from the heavens and get splat by cars. System of a Down lyrics play. You find out about sanctified bones and what can be made from them from now until eternity. And where you can buy them. It’s all connected. And now so are you.

Welcome to our podcast. Welcome to Video Death Loop. Enjoy your nostalgia.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s been vaccinated and feels pretty good! Aaron Littleton is your co- host this week and he too has been vaccinated but feels bad! Go get vaccinated!

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You’re at the hottest restaurant in town. You think. You’re not sure if your friend who swears by the place said it was on the first or second floor but you’re there. A decision has to be made. Surely, if they’re in the same building, they’re both equally good, right? You make a decision. It’s the first floor you go. There’s no server that you see. You see a bunch of tables. Some blueberries without a plate to call home. People on the floor begging for the dear lords above to bless them with a pittance of chicken soup for their soul. Others are tapping with brooms harshly on the ceiling. Yelling. Rioting. The turmoil is infection. You know you’re in the right place. You grab a broom. It’s time to get those scraps.

Also, you’re never going to trust a damn video book trailer ever again.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and 5 AM is much too late to enter that late night diner. John Hurst is your co-host and the forbidden hash brown toppings beckon.

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Your abs need a shape! Any shape! And you need to find the perfect way to do nothing while doing that! What if I said I had that and can still make you terrified to do small menial tasks while doing so? Then I have the Hawaii Chair just for you! Imagine a chair with barely the usefulness of sitting down. Now imagine if it was spinning like a carnival ride the entire time. It can be yours if you want! All you need is to go back to 2008 and tell yourself about it! And then, if your past self doesn’t say “No” immediately, you’re basically there! Get with the future! The past of the future! It’s the Hawaii Chair!

John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s got a devious trap for Mr. Bond involving the Hawaii Chair. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s been upgraded with the most recent version of the co-host software used by podcasters everywhere!

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You are Tom Green. You just put a mouse in your mouth. It’s the third time you’ve done it this week for three different movies. You think this one is for some movie called Road Trip, but you’re not quite sure. You’re mixing up the movie plots. You would be mixing up the lines, but you don’t have any; the director just gave you a big blank check and say “Be Tom Green”. And you are! You’re great at being Tom Green! Maybe even the best of it! But that mouse is in your mouth and maybe you don’t feel like you’re the best Tom Green a Tom Green can be. You’ll go home and turn on your TV and see more of you on the Music Television and wonder why can’t you be that Tom Green again. So young and so full of spry! Not full of mouse. You take the mouse out of your mouth and pet its furry little head. He’s in the same boat as you. You just get more of the cheese. The director yells “Cut!” and both of you are free. Finally free.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and is in big trouble for his SNL impression. John Hurst is your co-host and he needs a Beer Koozy for his Truly, stat.

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The world wasn’t ready for the FlavorPro Injector. Noone was. Not you. Not me. Not the Rocket School where it was used to keep its inventor around because noone knew how to properly baste a meat despite having plenty of access to fire and potential cooking experience from the fire. He was a person of principle and that principle was “WHAT IF WE HAD MORE LIQUID IN THIS MEAT?!” That was his catchphrase. Everyone knew it because they had no choice. It was a rite of passage at Rocket School. You got basted one way or the other, and the man with the Flavor Pro was ready any time. Any time.

But like, not in a creepy way. He just wanted to inject thick sauces into meats. Don’t read into it any further. No, really don’t–

John Hurst is your host this week and he is allowed to leave a few minutes early to the non-benefit of science. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he thinks 4:3 is the perfect ration.

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It’s time to go to sleep, engineer! Get to the back to the caboose, where you sleep, I think. They didn’t pay for that insurance for nothing! And if they did, well, why did they do that?! While you’re going back there, tell them about our in-transit entertainment, which is nothing but the opening to the Hanna-Barbera Live Action Sitcom “Going Bananas” on loop until they can’t take it anymore. Keep them watching until they fight on top of the train like we know everyone secretly wants to do! We can’t keep them off the roof these days, you know! All pretending the terrorists or wendigos or what have you. Say, you’re not a wendigo, right? Didn’t eat any human flesh recently? Well, good. You know we have to check for that. Amtrak told us to. It’s in the employee video! Wendigo? Just say no!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he has bird questions! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s very tired at the zoo.

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It’s 2:04 in the afternoon. It’s time to start getting ready to go home from school. Or… Is it? Maybe you put on your sweatband. Maybe you put on your dancing gloves. Maybe you have the whole suit to go with it! The breakdance suit. Because you’re part of the Breakdance Club at your local high school and it’s time to GET SERIOUS. FOR BREAKDANCING. It’s the only thing stopping you from getting a 4.0 GPA somehow. Clubs are that serious. You’re going to get some serious legal rights to stream various things and you’re going for the high bar. You’re going to be doing all the flares, all the spins, all the things they taught you on that discarded VHS tape of Breakin’ you found at the dumpster of your Hollywood Video. It’s all on the line. So get to steppin’, fool!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s trying to work up to get free NFL Broadcasting rights. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has consulted a representative to make sure co-hosting duties are all up to date.

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It’s the night shift again. It’s time for you to close up. It was a busy day at your Arby’s franchise, but you feel like the service you gave was at least worth a “3” on the Customer Satisfaction Survey. Heck, maybe it was even a “4”! You’re satisfied. Still, the stress of the day builds up. You get out your Fushigi Magic Gravity ball and start relaxing straight away. Within it’s therapeutic chrome shell, you see the infinite masses of space sprawl before you. With a flick of the wrist, even first time users can control mere galaxies at their fingertips. It’s a good feeling. A powerful feeling. You start practicing the moves you learned on your Fushigi Magic Ball DVD, starting with the Prayer’s Cross. You hear a bell ring. It’s time to clock out.  Time to head to the old slicer!

It will make sense when you listen to the episode. Maybe.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s building up his anti-bacterial pool of nothing but Fushigi Magic Balls. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s writing up his Fushigi Magic Ball related light novel.

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The Sandwich Artist beckons. Come. Enter the lair of magic and protein. Become filled with wonder about the amount of carbs and vegetable-based products in this laboratory of food. You are welcomed here. You and your hunger. We know why you have arrived in this nexus of hunger and salvation. It was not by choice. It was fate. See, we knew you’d be here. You saw the Uncharted 3 Subway ad with Nathan Drake on the television and you thought “boy, I guess I could have a sandwich sometime soon” and that sometime soon is right now, video gamer.  That leads us to the point. Pick out your protein. Is it the meatball sub? Of course it is. I knew it all along. The question remains though: What goes on it? This is where you can decide the fate of the free world. For  at least 30 minutes. Any longer and it’s going to get real soggy. Act quick. Act fresh. Subway.

John Hurst is your host this week and he doesn’t want any of that cardboard cheese on top of his bread. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he doesn’t care for John’s decision about cardboard cheese on top of bread.

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Matthew McConaughey! A man of action! Romance! The movies! He’s been in it all! But has he been in the Sahara? Yes, actually. He has been, in a movie no one can actually remember seeing but everyone thinks was kind of alright! Was he finding gold? Yeah, sure, maybe. Was he doing the action? All of it! Was he needing it to survive because it’s the only thing allowing him to still live and he’s got to find more faster and faster? Wait, hold on, don’t go yet! I still have 15 seconds to go on this elevator pitch and we’re not getting to the next floor anytime soon. Anyway, it’s a trilogy so I know you’re seeing those dollar signs, Paramount! Get Penelope Cruz right now!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he wants to start some beef! Hurst is your co-host and he has a proposal for Sony’s new anime streaming acquisitions.

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What the hell is Cola? We don’t know! We don’t have access to the internet in this business room. It’s against corporate policy! We have a white board, some markers that are half dry and the most powerful tool we have at our disposal: Our minds! Now, let’s make some circles (use the green markers) open up a case of Shasta in all its different flavors (Also use the green Shasta) and let’s get to work! Now… Who has the Finnish book of epic poems on you? Hands in the air!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s writing some laws for Kentucky! Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and he has to go to the United Kingdom to settle a conflict.

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You gotta make that content! Everyone’s doing it these days! If you don’t have a personal brand, you might as well be Personally Damned ™! You can hear this and more on my self-help audio cassette “Jumping Ropes Through Life”, which has been used by many successful people! Take virtual youtuber Korone Inugami, for instance! Here she is jumping rope! On the internet! What will they think of next? The next person thinking could be… YOU. Or could IT? Start today!

Also, this episode we send a meme to die in the sun, but only because the meme wanted to.

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Welcome to the meeting. Come inside. How you vibing? You vibing good. Well, worry not. While you’re  hear inside the sauna, you can let all your worries go away. Rest your head. Let your stress melt away. Listen to the music of Peter Gabriel play on the radio nearby. We only have one song, and it’s “Steam” by Peter Gabriel because it turns out licensing music for public play is kind of annoying. Sorry. But the sauna is nice. Enjoy your time. Your boss is here. He’s ready to make business decisions with you. That’s not a weird euphemism. He brought PowerPoint slides. They’re about profits. Did you remember to bring anything to the Business Sauna? Hope you have enough for everyone!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is checking everyone’s vibes at the door. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has a Graphing Calculator secret from the 90s for you.

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It’s a Snow Day! A day of snow! Away from your school and all your fears! Nicklelodeon Movies knows what all the kids wants and they’re going to give it to you in spades (Get it? Spades? Because you need to use shovels for snow and– Okay, I’ll stop. I promise I’ll stop. Spades though!!–) That and comedians looking for a pay check. But what if the snow day could last forever? The kids know the secret.- Schuyler Fisk knows the secret. The real question is: Will you devote your life to the sun god for it?

Also maybe a slurpee machine.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s going to follow his heart. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s got to keep the knives sharp!

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It’s Topps day. Your co-worker is getting the latest uncut set of Topps Football 1989 Cards for the last season. Everyone is excited to find their team’s players name and look at the stats on the back of their known players on the team. Nothing else can be revealed, for if it is, you were dispatched on the spot and you will never be found. But you’re just happy to know how many Running Yards Barry Sanders got in his prime. But it wasn’t enough. You’re the loser. Your co-workers laugh. They all laugh. And you know the retribution is soon. The Football Czar hands your this 1-900 number. At 2 dollars a minute, you will cry. Oh how you will cry.

John Hurst hosts this week and he’s making sure you all follow the new Podcast Calendar rules. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and really feels for the people in this commercial.

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Barney! Would you get a load of this? I’m trying to invent a new form of food to help us wake up and start the day! You know how I invented day and night cycles, right? Yeah, Barnes, you know it! Well, I put a bunch of salt, rice and sugar together with a bunch of weird colors I found and made something called a cereal? It’s delicious! And it makes you want more! Anyway, after you finish “breakfast” (I invented that too the other day, Barnes) come on out to the backyard and I’ll show you my latest project: cigarettes. It’s great! You’re never gonna wanna stop!

Aaron Littleton hosts this festive episode of Video Death Loop and wants to go visit the really weird planets on Star Trek. John Hurst co-hosts and he’s about to sign up for a Vitamin Credit Card.

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Hey guys, it’s Uno! The game you play with people you barely know and only want to know slightly more about them by the end! Do they draw more cards? Can you make them skip their turn? Whatever! It’s Uno! Noone remembers who even won by the end! Yeah, we’ll have it done by next week! See ya!

… They gone? Good. Okay, now that we got the game greenlit, it’s time for to make our dream anime visual novel scenario happen. But it’s gotta have Uno involved just enough or they’re going to start raising questions. Work with me here, I got an idea. We need some horses.

A lot of horses.

John Hurst hosts this week and he’s renting of Volume 2 of an Anime VHS because they don’t have Volume 1.. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and he needs one of those old timey levers to make sure the box works.

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Enter into the dojo of one Chop Chop Master Onion. He’s an onion. Not a wild onion that you may find in your yard or that John cannot find for the life of him, but a real onion. The type you’d put on your pizza or a calzon and sell as a promotional pizza from a big pizza chain. He has it all. He’s got tiny onion disciples. He’s got a dog who wants to be a rapper and also wants to impress a flower he likes. He’s got immortality and a vengeful spirit. Everyone wants to be friends with Chop Chop Master Onion because the opposite may lead towards your untimely demise. Just ask the Deer on the wall. Oh, you can’t. This is the first level, but it also may be your last. Now, kick, Parappa! Kick as if your life depends on it!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s mixing up video game lore with real lore! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s opening the latest CafePress budget saving scheme for the 2020s.

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This trash just keeps piling up!! What’s a person with an open top convertible to do other than just throw it on the side of the road and give the middle finger to the climate as a whole? That’s just what this Tennessee Trash PSA does and it does it with the most battle damaged car this side of the psychobilly concert! Come see the ad that was played well into the late 80s on television sets all across Tennessee and see who it marks as the enemy (Spoiler: THE ENEMY IS YOU. )

John Hurst is your host and has upgraded the amount of chicken nuggets he orders. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is looking to get rid of a mattress stat.

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Hey Ghosts! Are you a ghost? If you’re a ghost you have to say “Booooo!” At least that’s what this Applesauce container says. It’s really weird that I’m following what an applesauce container says, but that’s because it’s 4 PM and I’m waiting for the reruns of Knight Rider to  hit my TV Screen after school! Look at that guy! He’s cool! Look at his car! It jumps things! Look at this… Other guy? He’s…? And this lady! Who.. uh… I’ll be honest I don’t remember other people on this show because they weren’t doing crazy cool jumps all over the place. Get with the crazy cool jumps, other people! Anyway, it’s time to fight crime so let’s go fight crime, ghost friends!

This episode description is going to make way more sense if you click “Play” on your podcast device. Maybe.

Aaron Littleton is your host and he misses computer sounds a lot. John Hurst is your co-host and he is gesticulating wildly in to the microphone.

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You get knocked down, but will you ever get back up again? It’s a question posed by Chumbawamba in the 90s and we embraced it in every commercial sense. That’s why when you have a game made by an American company detailing soccer in low polygons with a freakish latex-laden bird mascot, you need something to cover it all with a warm, comforting blanket. That blanket is Chumbawamba and as your see that weirdly detailed in every specific areas bird running down a stock footage street in France, you know everything is okay. Because you’re about to play World Cup 98 for the Playstation 1. And this intro is playing and your cousin just let you be Player 1. You’re the best at Player 1.  I know you are. You’ll get up again.

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Sometimes you just need to watch a mashup video that hastily combines two properties to celebrate an album that is all about merging media proprieties. Like this fan video of Neil Circierega’s mashup of Queen and the Spongebob Squarepants theme. And that’s fine! What are people in the future going to say about it though? Who cares about them! They don’t know anything! They probably think this is the official version of both tracks! They’re writing thesis’ on the Legend of Zelda song and saying it’s by System of a Down. They’re going to get a Mega-C on that paper and they’re going to not mind because they’re not going to need that in the future future! No, they got a Political Art degree from Cumbersome University! They got dreams! And none of these dreams are Mouth Dreams! Now, leave them alone, they got to listen to the classical station because it’s Gaga O’Clock followed by some mother-effin’ fugues.

(Also? Hey, future student? It’s by the Rabbit Joint. You’re welcome.)

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is declaring himself host well before all the hosting duties have been counted. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s starting a pit in this recital.

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Aaron’s hiccup on Archive.org.

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What the heck is a Rax? We don’t have one where we live, but John (may) have been to one before. It’s got speed lines to tell you it’s fast! And people apparently explode when you say the slogan for their short time pita wrap thing. Terrifyingly, at that! Can you get some Rax and take it on the lake with you? Drive a boat with one hand and a pocket wrap thing in the other? And a Miller Lite in it too? Because you’re on a boat? Does this summary have too many questions? Maybe? Maybe? Try a Rax, if it still exists where you are!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s exploding from pita-pockety goodness.. Aaron LIttleton is your co-host and he’s failing a boat class!

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Come to Cabot Cove! Please! We need people to move in! Come see our nature and outdoors  and fresh air and trees!  We have lots of available, affordable housing for you to move into!  And we have Angela Lansbury, the star of Murder, She Wrote! Just ignore the fact that the last three people who lived in there were murdered. Or the murderer. I forget. We have so many murders happen here. You start to lose track especially while trying to remember where Angela Lansbury is at at any moment. Because you will run into her twice. Once alive and once dead. And she’ll write a book about it! It’ll be okay! Three stars on Amazon, at best! So come on down to Cabbit Cove! We’re waiting on you! To be murdered! Maybe! Please help us.

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and he’s wishing upon a gacha star! John Hurst co-hosts and he wants the number “3” on the back of his tombstone.

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It’s an emergency Halloween slumber party and the nearest place is Walgreens. They don’t have any of their 4 for $10 Coca-Cola Products or pizzas, but they do have a copy some Quaker Oats Cereal and a copy of Bedazzled starring Brendan Frasier in the $1 bin ready for watching. It’s just as good right? They’re all hopped up on sugar and socializing that they won’t care whatever happens. Just let them all nestle in their Emily the Strange pajamas and log onto Neopets because you’ve done your duty for Halloween. Good job you! Wait, wasn’t that cat a dog before?

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s trying to get The Miz to make Suburban Commando 2. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he wants to know what’s with all the hair for sale in Walden.

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Wait, you’re the 3 Ninjas of Nebraska? No way! We’re the Iowa 3 Ninjas! Fancy seeing you guys all here! So, how’s grandpa? Still skipping out on family to run a fake syndicate of ninja kids for the 90s? Same here! We got so much in common! Hey, you should come with us to Mega Mountains! Yeah, it’s got uh, a roller coaster? And maybe a western town? And some sci-fi area from another movie? Hulk Hogan is there and a lady with a whip! In the same room! It might be 18+ but they let us do ninja moves in there because we’re cool, I guess. Anyway, good seeing you! We should hang out sometime! We’ll call 3 Ninjas Oklahoma too!

Watch the 3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain Trailer along with us!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he got to write this movie off as as tax break. John Hurst is your co-host and he also desperately needs to write this movie off as a tax break.

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Diet Coke is a magic drink that makes America go around. Without it, we’d be twenty years behind the times, unable to be productive in business meetings or pretend like we’re working at the gym and watching ourselves. But did you know that there’s a secret reason why Diet Coke became so popular and it’s because it stops football players from melting? It’s true. You can see examples of it in this series of video evidence! How are they reforming their body? Are the cells regenerating? Is it time travel? It’s Video Death Loop, of course it’s going to involve time travel. Find out more on this week’s episode and drink up!

John Hurst hosts this week and is afraid to drink a little bit of the time fluid. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and he is so mad at buildings. So mad.

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You say your sick and you need to stay home from school today, but everyone knows what you’re really after. It’s time to enjoy that treat denied to us in our youth: Unlimited soup and crackers, a warm blanket, the chance to play Final Fantasy 8 and finish it before your friends and watch a whole episode  the Price is Right because nothing else is on! Let Bob Barker be your guide into a hellish world of manufacturer suggested retail prices as you hope that maybe this time they’ll finally play Safe Cracker. You won’t talk about it with your school friends, but they too yearn for the luxury you are experience. You are among gods now. It’s just you, the audience, Rod Roddy and Bob Barker on a magical adventure. Tell ’em what they’ve won!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s got a larger than usual wine glass. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s looking for tigers.

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It’s DragonCon 2006. You are thankful you chose to the timejump into 2020 and get that much needed relaxation before, but the 2020 you is ready for 2006. Armed with your extra knowledge of household cleaners and phone scripts, you can’t really use this in terms of your enjoyment of the convention, but you feel like it made you at least a little wiser. You navigate the crowd and were glad you made the call to pre-register to get the shorter line. It means you have much more time to get a Dairy Queen Chicken Tender Basket than you would have. The 2006 You would not have appreciated this luxury, but the 2020 one certain does. If only you can remember what happened this year of the con. All of them are a blur now. But they’re your blur. Number 2. Woo-Hoo.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s got a hard water problem. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he bought way too many shoes.

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I have never been so happy as the people in soap commercials. Feeling good? Sure. Feeling relaxed? Maybe! But never to the point of the freak out psycho energy that they display in using a single bar of a corporate branded soap. What’s in it? What’s the secret? Is it illegal? Does it need to be done in a club bathroom in an 80s action movie? Does anyone in this commercial know what’s really going on? We’re about to find out!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week, but don’t quote quote quote quote him on it. John Hurst is your co-host and he wants a ride in the Blood Truck.

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Garfield likes a lot of food. This is considered one of his many good traits that he has and makes him a timeless classic. He will sell you all of the food in the word too. Fruit Snacks, Cereal, Breakfast Bars in Embassy Suites, all of it. Even Ravioili for some reason! All but the lone and holy Lasagna, which he will not sell out to any one living or otherwise. You hear that, Stouffer’s?! Go Stouff your lasagna in the frozen food aisle of your local grocery store because it’s where it needs to be otherwise it will good bad! Because you can’t wait forever for Garfield. Garfield’s taken a turn and he’s not coming back for you anytime soon. Inquire within!

John  Hurst hosts this week and is cleaning Jim Davis’ pasta-stained hands of this. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and it’s going to go on his permanent record.

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It’s cursed! Or mysterious! I don’t know, the History Channel claims both when it comes to The Curse of Oak Island but they’re definitely leaning hard into the “Curse” portion of the show. We aren’t so sure! There’s a big tunnel and some talk about the Templars and there’s a school bus shot for what appears to be no reason? The bus doesn’t go to the mystery! Or the curse! Two places where I would want a bus in a History channel to go (Outside of maybe a history museum, but that’s out of budget for us at A&E Networks. No no no, we can’t do that here!)

Anyway, we watch the mystery! On loop!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s opening his mouth for fresh hot steam straight from the oven. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s opening his mouth for your local dentist.

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This week we watched an old Wendy’s Training Video for Hot Drinks on loop and learned a LOT about making hot drinks (Again.) John forgot Aaron made him watch it back in Season 3 and he thought he was being clever. Now he has to make a choice and and the dimensions (And April) hangs in the balance! WILL HE EVER GET TO WENDY’S? (No.) WILL HE EVER ESCAPE APRIL (Maybe!) You’ll find out again soon enough!

John Hurst is your host this week and likes Wendy’s a lot more than Aaron. Aaron Littleton is co-host and likes Wendy’s a lot less than John.

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Do you need drama in your drama program? What if we had an emergency trip to the hospital? What if we were the hospital. What if we had a bunch of emergencies every episode in the emergency room and that was the show?  I think we might just have a hit show from the 90s on our hands! Yes, it’s “ER” and it former Batman George Clooney as a normal, non-crime fighting doctor! But can he keep up his Doctorly appearance while joining the company softball team as a star hitter? We think not! Come hear our high concept pitch for a movie, movie execs (We call executives “execs” in the biz.)

Aaron Littleton is your host and he is finding a good spot to hide the 30 pound lead-lined softball for cheating schemes. John Hurst is your co-host and he is watching his co-workers break so many bones.

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In the late 80s, cereal ideas were already pretty dire, but that doesn’t mean anything if you have a dino pun ready to go! As soon as you make a dino pun, your marketing idea instantly jumps up in potential profits 800%, no matter how much sawdust and glue you use in the final product. It just make sense. Put dinos in anything! Kids will love them. Hell, I bet if we put them into a podcast episode, people will gobble it up! Maybe a podcast episode like this one, where we watch the Dinersaurs Cereal Commerical on loop! It sells itself! Get our brand lawyer on the phone! We got a new plan!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is only eating the cereal part of the complete breakfast. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and he’s choosing the red crayon for the Allosaurus.

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Alexander Hamilton (Not pictured) is on a lot of people’s minds this week! That’s weird. Maybe something came out and people are into it but it definitely hasn’t hit our radars! The only way we know about the man who would become a Founding Father would be through this  “Got Milk?” commercial that played all over Cable Television in the early 90s. Maybe people are really into milk again? It’s good stuff! Goes great when you’re sitting in an escape room/warehouse by yourself making hefty peanut butter sandwiches. How does one slice of bread hold so much peanut butter?! That’s because it’s the good bread. Come dine with us.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s double layering this peanut butter all over this bread. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s eagerly awaiting his awesome future gift from Ben Franklin.

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When you’re at the Sizzler, everyone is equal. It’s like socialism but with what more shrimp and sundaes. It’s a quiet revolution sweeping the nation but maybe it could be sweeping through Time as well?! Only Sizzler and the Epsilon Project Protocol know for certain! Come be a part of our family in any time! Any time.

John Hurst hosts and he is toting in the A/V Cart for the classroom. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and is inquiring about the bottomless wine cup.

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We were kind of obsessed with giving kids things that could be used as weapons in a pinch! Baseball bats? Great, you’re already there! Scooter? Hey, you can twist that thing around and do a sick kickflip on someone’s face! A Yo-yo? I played Startropics, I know those things can do damage! And the Skip it? Well, that’s a flail on a leg! And a counter! To show how many people your flailed! It’s high score time in recess and now you’re in the principal’s office for medieval weaponry!

Anyway, we watch the commercial for one on loop  and realize that it’s probably in time for a revitalization via a TV movie and/or franchise. Find out more inside your ears!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is confident that he is your host this week! John Hurst is your co-host and he is expanding the Rush Hour Cinematic Universe despite everyone’s protests.

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Gull wing doors! They go up and down, not to the side! It’s the future! And also, I think it was in some movie in the 80s. It’s the DeLorean and it’s at your local CostCo! How did it get there? Why is it matte black instead of the normal stainless steel aluminum design? Who is the guy beside it in the geek shirt and poorly fitted overshirt combo, smiling with an devilish, trickster smirk? It’s the lynchpin of history and it’s on Video Death Loop this week!

John Hurst is your host and he’s burning two podcasts to a CD-R. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has a car fact sheet for you.

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Write to us at questions@videodeathloop.com! Also, the official theme of the podcast is now available for download on bandcamp! Come hear almost a minute long version of it with lyrics and everything!

Hey, did you come here because you saw the PS5 Reveal Trailer earlier? You did, didn’t you? I knew it! You saw that Deathloop game (Which looks very good, I don’t blame you!), decided to search for it and you found this podcast instead! Sorry! But while you’re here, we watched the PS5 Reveal on Loop until we couldn’t take it anymore. No, we don’t show you the footage, but you can hear us talking about it! And we immediately swerve into a Taco Bell marketing spiel that you should absolutely not take from us we copyrighted it and everything no takies. But we’re watching it and you can take out word for it.

Anyway, if you’re Arkane Studios, hit us up! You like Death Loops, we like Death Loop, perhaps we can Death Loop… Together?!

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and had to play hide and seek five times to see this. John  Hurst co-hosts and is screaming at his monitor directly to you.

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Did you realize the Game Boy Camera solved all your problems? No? Well, that’s because you were probably one of those poor saps playing Pokemon or Tetris or whatever “fad” was happening at the time. The Game Boy camera is real! It has your face in it! Or your dad’s face! Or your bully’s face! And from that alone, it can save you from a life of sorrow because they’re too busy trying to figure out how to play the run and jump minigame instead of doing whatever they were about to do. You can use that time to go see your friend’s ska band. They’re very bad, but it’s fun!

John Hurst is your host and he’s dropping floppies out of his Jnco’s, whatever that means. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he can’t stop buying ravioli.

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The Blair Witch! Oooh,  scary! It has symbols everywhere! The camera is shaking and they are scared and being picked off! We’re all shocked! But it’s rated R so we better not see your 16-year old behind in here! Unless you sneak in with a plate of chicken livers, and then you better share (And eat quick before it  stinks up the whole aisle!) Hand me that ketchup!

Here’s the weirdly high quality trailer!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is hungry for some some gas station food. John Hurst is your co-host and and is about to edit the encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

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You ever just go to into your car (The passenger side, since you never get to ride in your own car. Enjoy the experience!) and just… Chill? Snoop Dogg does. Or maybe he’s riding in someone’s car and they went inside for a few minutes! Who knows! He could be in mid-transit to making the ratings pop on some show you’ve never watched (but know that Snoop Dogg is guest starring on!) Anyway, he’s listening to “Let It Go” off the Frozen soundtrack. Now we are too. And now, somehow, so are you.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not afraid of volcanoes. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and and already knows all the spoilers for 2020.

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Have you heard the tale of your local dentist down the block who will give you laughing gas whenever you want?! He’s a little more expensive than most, but he does the job! He’s got only a 3 star on Coruscant Review, but he’s trustworthy! I think he might also be the an emperor of evil or something? Not sure, don’t care! Cleans my teeth and I don’t feel a thing! Anyway, check out Palpy-ol’-Pal and tell ’em Obi sent ya!

This is that one scene from Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith where Palpatine tells a tale. Join us as we watch it on loop!

This week, Aaron Littleton is your host and he and does not think he ordered this fighter jet image in anime form. John Hurst is your co-host/hurst and he opens the door for you!

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What do you think Kenny Loggins is doing during quarantine? Do you think he’s doing the same thing he is doing in here in the music video for pinnacle song from the pinnacle soundtrack of our time, “Top Gun: Music From the Motion Picture”? Probably! Because it’s kind of not a great video! He’s just kind of lounging and playing with a camera that may or may not have film in it. What’s going to happen when you finally develop that roll, Kenny Loggins? Are you going to find a bunch of blurry pictures of your jean clothed junk you took from the bed and maybe an artsy pic of the ceiling fan? Because yes, that’s what you’re going to find! Go hang that in your household and charge people enormous prices for artistic integrity! And when you’re done, go scream at that ceiling fan some more, buy some adult pay-per-views movies and eschew them all to watch kickass fighter jets on the Military Channel. Ah, yes, now that’s the stuff.

John Hurst is hosting this week and he is reading from the book of nursery rhymes and The U.S. War Machine back to back. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and finds that fighter jet sexy enough to Bing.

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Is the Monterrey Jack Quesadilla date a first-rate date idea? Taco Bell sure thought so! Just as the goop from the bottom of the bag is scooped up into your mouth orifice, you may also experience the joy of a slightly spicy delight of Monterrey Jack cheese with your date on your low-rent sofa meant to fall apart after a dozen uses or so. Perhaps your even watching a music video the couch was in as your sitting on the couching consuming this goop with your date! Who knows! It’s the early 2000s and anything is possible in the fast food world. Your soul patch shines brightly on this day and you’re feeling lucky. Maybe you’re even playing a Smash Mouth song declaring how much of the percentage of the star you feel (Maybe… All of it?) It’s your time, you’re going to have a good time and then this couch is going to fall apart and you’re going to have to call Joey again. Such is life! Let’s get this day started!

Aaron hosts this week and has a scheme and doesn’t even know it! John co-hosts and is looking at things with the word gamer in them out of desperation.

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Sometimes, you gotta make that sale. And in the cereal world, making that sale is hard. The Rice Krispie guys got a corner on the air puff and desert market. Tony the Tiger knows his stuff is addicting and doesn’t care who he peddles it to because he stands by his product. And we’re still need entirely sure what the Honey Comb Robot actually did (Other than proclaiming that taste is big big big and definitely not small, no no no.) The Honey Nuts Cheerio Bee needed that commission money to help endorse his 80s lifestyle and who could he turn to in this trying time to make the deal other than to get  Hulk Hogan getting addicted to nuts and honey in his cereal. He proclaims it better than a bodyslam, but which end of the bodyslam is it? Find out with us!

John Hurst is your host and he has a secret Food City regional grocery store he goes to. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is respectfully watching people do sick dirt bike tricks at a reasonable distance.

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As a bonus for reading all the way to here, you can watch a show from last year from the improv troupe  Einstein Simplified, which Aaron Littleton (Your co-host) is in! Check it out here and follow the documentary he is in, Chair the Movie, on facebook!

Have you seen Speed 2? We sure haven’t. I mean, we’ve seen the trailer yes, but the movie, not so much. Why? What was it about a franchise that lost one of its temporal B-listers and replaced him with boats (ships?) that makes even the truly uncultured such as us lose interest?

This week we watched the Speed 2 trailer on loop, but no more or less than 55 times!

Aaron Littleton hosts and buys some soap! John Hurst co-hosts and wears some pants!

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Where were you when the new Sakura Wars theme song dropped? Were you watching online? Were you in the audience? Were you, most horrifyingly of all, on…stage? Yeeeesh.

This week we watched the New Sakura Wars theme song reveal video on loop! Well, mostly anyway.

John Hurst hosts and trims and beard. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and is not very prescient.

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Whatever you do, do not bing shiny hands. Don’t do it. It’s…it’s not good. Don’t turn off safe search. What are you doing. I said don’t do that. STOP STOP STOP

YOU DON’T NEED TO DO THIS

It’s an intermission! We’re in our respective homes. There’s not really a host and there’s no video. But there is us, talking about the same thing as everybody else so, you know.

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I want to tell you about these so-called “humans”, with their so-called “boats”. They dangle…dangle’s the right word right? They dangle worms, the juiciest you’ve ever seen, right down here in our faces. IN OUR FACES! But let me tell you friends, these worms are not what they seem. Oh no, not at all. Not at all. These worms are tricks. Turn around, listen to me, just turn around and swim. SWIM FOR ALL YOU ARE WORTH! Swim, you idiots! Back after these fine sponsors.

This week we watched some fishing show bloopers! These fishing show bloopers, actually. You should too!

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and sees a statue. John Hurst co-hosts and fishes on Twitch.

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What’s your aesthetic? My aesthetic is essentially the Matrix DVD menu: an endlessly looping SD video of overwrought motion graphics hiding special features no one will ever watch and Easter Eggs no one will ever find. On a good day, I prefer this aesthetic through the filter of an early consumer digital camera, applying a thick filter of heavy JPEG artifacting on top of a .6 megapixel image, gleefully discarding historical details as if tomorrow, and a new free month of AOL, will never come.

This week we watched a late 90s Sony Mavica commercial from New Zealand, basically the most Video Death Loop video ever.

John Hurst is your host and is an early adopter. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and falls in a hole.

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Just like with money, chicken nuggets have also been hit hard with inflation. It used to be that you could get five chicken nuggets for 99 cents at Wendy’s. Today, in 2019 time, you pay $1 for FOUR nuggets. Where did the other one go? Were we bad enough that we don’t deserve the fifth nugget AND have to pay a penny more? Are they even made of chicken now? Did we not look hard enough and realize they’re now labeled “Chickyn Nuggets”, made with “chicken-like” properties? Is this all a part of Wendy’s plan to replace the mascot of Wendy’s with new, hotter versions of their mascot? When does the hotness end? When do the chicken nuggets begin? When does the– Oh hey, Star Trek’s back on. Nice.

This week we watched a mid-90s Wendy’s Crispy Chicken Nuggets commercial on loop but were sad it was not Star Trek.

Aaron Littleton hosts and is very honest. John Hurst co-hosts and is disappointed by Frosties.

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Pants? So modern. Shirt? IG as F. Overly simplistic computer graphics that look like they came out of a Chinese AI factory for children’s YouTube video creation? Near perfection. A symmetrical ring of underwear poking out from above your belt? Ehhh – some things will never be cool.

This week we watched the “Butterfly” music video from Smile.dk! It is the most influential video of 2020, I promise you.

John Hurst hosts and changes his air filter. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and wants those pants.

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Dunkaroos loom large in our collective unconscious. Sydney or Duncan or whoever was your Dunkaroos mascot, villain of a thousand faces, almost certainly lurks in some forgotten corner of your brain. His domain is somewhere between barely suppressed animal instincts and memories obliterated by alcoholic whipped cream. He waits, cookie held at ready, waiting on his chance to dip it into the frosting of your mind.

This week we watched an early Dunkaroos commercial from 1993! A kid shaved his head for this video! Please enjoy it.

Aaron Littleton hosts and forgets a name. John Hurst co-hosts and deploys a specially trained unit.

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Dr. Light slams hatch on his 200X Pontiac Aztek, the back seat folded down and full of plastic pet carriers. Stifling a chuckle, the bearded scientist pats the back window.

“Y’know, Dr. Light, some of us were wondering,” the young shelter worker rubs the fronts of his pants nervously, “well, we were wondering…uh…what you do with the dogs?”

Dr. Light’s head turns almost imperceptive toward the young man, smile still in place but all of the mirth gone. The shelter volunteer takes an involuntary half-step back.

“What was that?” The doctor whispers.

“N-nothing sir!” The young man is frozen in fear.

“That’s what I thought,” Doctor Light says, gently patting his shirt pocket, a worn remote control that reads “Mega Man” poking out of the top. “What I thought indeed.”

This week we watched a French Mega Man 2 commercial! It’s pretty weird you guys!

John Hurst hosts and protects his fish. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and is blinded by AR.

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It’s time for season 4 of Video Death Loop, and we’re starting off with…something. Something really real. Something by David Lynch, though we’re not entirely sure what. Sure, it’s a PlayStation 2 commercial, but what if it was also not that? Or even more harrowingly, what if it is that? What if that’s all this is? What if that’s all you are?

We watched David Lynch’s PlayStation 2 commercial The Third Place on loop this week. Give it a thumbs up!

Aaron Littleton is your host and paints a wall. John Hurst co-hosts and makes a serious decision.

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Fuck Donald Trump fuck Trumpy bear fuck the person that invented Trumpy Bear Fuck that aloe plant in the fake office in the Trumpy Bear commercial

Listen you know, I have feelings about this

Anyway, John Hurst struck back with the Trumpy Bear commercial which I cannot believe is real but seemingly is.

John Hurst hosts and brings this season in for a wrap. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and weighs his ham.

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A scream. A scream in the darkness. Your eyes dilate, searching the horizon. You stumble forward, rough bark from a tree you couldn’t see ripping your arm. You’re in the woods? The scream continues. Who is that? Warm blood trickles down your arm, pumping much faster from the wound than you would expect. What is happening? Who is screaming?

This week we watched the LeetStreet Boys “She’s So Kawaii” music video. Sure we did. Also John made a video but we didn’t watch that.

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The Heinz lawyer stares at you through steepled fingers. His suit is a deep, deep red. His face is indistinguishable and you’ve already forgotten his name. He sits, expectantly but in no hurry. Your eyes drift to the contract on the desk between you. Level 1. You expected as much, but it’s still a disappointment. What choice is there really? You don’t want to end up like Big Marinara.

This week we watched a 1997 commercial for McDonald’s Kiwi Burger. Like from New Zealand!

John Hurst hosts and is disgusted. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and disgusts.

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We should never think about Blank Check again, but, I guess, we can’t not. It’s a really strange movie. It’s just…wild. Just wild. See, there’s this part…and then there’s that other part. And oh boy don’t get me started on that last part. Sheesh. What a…what a thing.

If you can’t tell, this week we watched the Blank Check trailer on loop until we couldn’t take it anymore. Woof.

Aaron Littleton hosts and exercises adverse possession. John Hurst co-hosts and maybe read some things at some point.

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Let’s all acknowledge that at some point, every idea gets Hot Lixxed. No matter how shocking, how disruptive, how abhorrent to the societal norms of the time, Hot Lixx is the ultimate destination for all human creative capital. Given enough time, and probably less than you think, someone will find a way to sand the rough edges off of any idea, encapsulate it in plastic, fill that shell with cheap Chinese microchips and sell it back to you. You’ll buy it and give it to your kids, because you spend too much time at work. Just  don’t Bing it in front of them.

This week we watched a commercial for a toy guitar called Hot Lixx. We resented it greatly.

John Hurst hosts and gets a Hot Keyz. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and builds a theoretical computer.

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The internet is a strange place. If the Super Mario Brothers movie came out now, we would have likely never seen that version in the wild. We would, rightfully, decreed how incorrect and bad that movie was. A stain on something so familiar and loved by many! But the movie is a treasure in its own right; a monument to Hollywood’s hubris over all other “insignificant” mediums and a team of set designers having one hell of a Hot Girl Summer. It is not really a Mario movie, but it’s wild and weird and represents a decade steeped in its kitsch pop culture that can only be imitated these days. It’s the type of train wreck that happens to make an art installation in the process. The original artist has hung their head in shame and fled the scene, but we are still here to appreciate it in its unchanging manner. Wondering. Contemplating. Media consuming.

We have lost the path from our original horror, but one can only wish we could peek behind the curtain and be horrified anew. We can not know the timelines we have been swayed from. We can only imagine what that previous, wretched Sonic model is doing. We know it exists. We know its waiting. Biding. Also media consuming

It will have its time to shine again. And he will choose when.

Aaron hosts this week and boy is he hungry for some thighs. John co-hosts this week and wants to see Sonic put in all the classics. ALL OF THEM.

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After suffering through last week’s Israeli coffee machine cleaning video, John decides to strike back in the best way he knows how – 80s hair metal. RATT busts up a dinner party, but is that meal podcast safe?

This week we watched the RATT “Round and Round” music video, which was probably directed by Peter Jackson.

John Hurst hosts and enters a promo code. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and rips some string cheese.

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How do you describe a yogurt to someone who has never experienced it? How can  you explain that the gelatinous blob before them is actually a carefully cultivated bacterial culture? If that’s hard, imagine how to sell them Gogurt. If THAT’s hard, imagine explaining to a child what TCBY really stands for. Best to just let them think it’s funny tasting ice cream.

We watched this cleaning video for a device called BeanZ. How about it.

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and laments commentary tracks. John Hurst co-hosts and tends to the krill vats.

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Imagine a lush prehistoric forest. Your hunting group has been tracking a mega-Elk all day to no avail. Your stone-tipped spears, cumbersome at the best of times, have proven ineffective against the swift foe. You take a moment of respite by a cool stream, proto-human lungs gasping from the day’s exertion. Winter is around the corner and you desperately need to bring back sustenance for the tribe. What will you do?

There! Off in the distance! A salami tree. Nature’s perfect food. You smile.  You can pick all that you need to carry back to the camp and there’s no need to even kill them. Or…is there?

This week we watched a video that dares to answer that question.

John Hurst hosts and does a Yoda impression. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and makes it rain.

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Misato Katsuragi whirls to face Gendo Ikari. “Sir, the angel is approaching Tokyo 3! Should we deploy the Evas?”

Even the harsh lighting of the computer screens seems oppressed by the silent darkness. After a long moment, a soft mushing sound can be heard from the Commander’s chair.

“Sir…are you eating vienna sausages?”

Gendo’s eyes are red. “Indeed,” he mumbles through another mouthful.

This week we watched a man named Reed eat some vienna sausages. OK.

Aaron Littleton hosts and finishes the can. John Hurst co-hosts and takes it to Terminal Dogma.

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Hey there! This week, due to everything shifting the wrong way, we were unable to record a normal episode! But we have technology in our pockets and a boring road ahead of us, so we recorded THIS for you instead! Come order a large imported catfish meal and enjoy!

Neither Aaron and John are the host this week. Your host is the UNCARING, OPEN ROAD. HUG ITS ASPHALT EMBRACE.

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Mark Zuckerberg swivels in his chair to face the picture window behind him. So close that he can hear the deep bass thumping, a Captain Jack concert has been hastily assembled. He can see the stage even from here. “Too close,” he whispers to himself. “Far, far too close. I’m slipping.” Idly, his hand brushes against a framed photo, worn with age. The captain smiles at him from the past, a knowing grin. Power is in his every tooth. Crewman Zuckerberg shudders.

This week we watched Captain Jack performing…Captain Jack. Live. Somewhere. For someone. A great mystery.

John Hurst hosts and spins the big wheel. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and patrols the moat.

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Deep under the Pentagon, there is a door. An armed guard stands at this door, ever watchful. Should you present the proper credentials, you will be allowed beyond. Inside is a brightly lit and sterile elevator. Should you take that elevator down as  far as it goes you may find yourself in a large, open space underground. To the naked eye, it may look like an indoor football field. But to the nation’s top military commanders, it looks like the training grounds for America’s elite freedom strike force. Enemies of America: Are you ready for some football?

This week we watched the weirdly long music video for Hank Williams Jr.’s “Are You Ready for Some Football” and we can confirm that we are not.

Aaron Littleton hosts and joins the tribe. John Hurst co-hosts and has a full name.

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Listen kids don’t put that salad in your mouth. It’s…not healthy OK. Nothing here is healthy. You can’t eat anything at this restaurant, or at least you shouldn’t.

We watched this weird Canadian PSA about not putting things in your mouth.  You should watch it too and learn its secrets.

John Hurst hosts and becomes a viral sensation. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and scares his dog.

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There are some search terms that you just know will form a powerful intersection of energies; a load-bearing support of the deep human psyche. Before you even finish typing the phrase, you can begin to feel the weight of the results. Past that electronic Rubicon, you know there is an inescapable puissance of madness. Perhaps the king of such search terms? “Evanescence” + “Sonic the Hedgehog”.

This week we watched Evanescence’s seminal “Bring Me to Life” music video.  You’ve… seen the memes I’m sure.

Aaron Littleton hosts and really wants to talk about zoning boards. John Hurst co-hosts and refuses mayonnaise.

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Hey, d’ya ever wonder what the future is gonna be like? Do you think there’s gonna be like…robots? What about swimming pools? Will the robots swim in the swimming pools? What about sandwiches? Will the pools eat the sandwiches? Do sandwiches ride horses and what happens to horse bones after the pools eat the sandwiches? I worry about that stuff.

We watched Lil Nas X’s “Panini” music…video? This week. We watched it on loop.

John Hurst hosts and deepens the mystery. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and dials it back.

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Listen, Harvard’s easy to get into OK? You just…throw on your smoking jacket, barge down a brandy and take a big rip of your CBD vape while submitting your taped application. It works more often than you think, especially if you live in the increasingly unlikely Legally Blonde universe. Give it a shot! (Also it helps if you’re Reese Witherspoon.)

Aaron Littleton hosts and takes on the big case! John Hurst co-hosts and samples a CD!

We watched the Legally Blonde trailer on loop! Don’t object and just watch it!

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In the beginning Ronald set “Let there be fries” and there were fries and Ronald saw they were good. Then came the dark days and there was much chaos. Ronald looked down and said “I shall punish them with a great Shamrock Shake” and they sat in their cars, listened to their podcasts and gnashed their teeth.

This week we watched a McDonald’s seatbelt PSA from the 80s and created yet another religion to fit into the VDL pantheon.

John Hurst hosts and eats a McGriddle. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and drives with his knees.

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The seat feels worn. You’re sitting in a seat? You’re sitting in a seat. A movie theater seat. When did you go to the movies? There’s a cup in the armrest, it’s lukewarm soda and ice melt. You take a sip anyway. Did you fall asleep? Muscles ache to move and you long to stretch, but you don’t. Mission Impossible 2 is playing on the screen. Wait, what year is it? Your watch is missing.  Your shoes are missing. Why are you here? Why are you watching Mission Impossible 2? What have you done? What have you done?!

This week we watched the Mission Impossible 2 trailer on repeat. Let that sink in.

Aaron Littleton hosts and buys the soundtrack. John Hurst co-hosts and sells the sound track.

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In some far distant era, when the year 2019 sounds like the year 219 to our modern ears, little of what made us will remain. Our physical bodies will have dissolved away, very little will prove that we ever existed at all. Some art though, will live on. Some of it will be great, while some of it will just be lucky. Our subject today is the former.

We watched the omni-present HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA for our video this week. Watch it as if you haven’t already memorized its every pixel.

John Hurst hosts and uses bread. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and talks olives!

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To Steven, the person whom I lent Final Fantasy VII to in middle school and never returned it: No, seriously, what happened to that copy of Final Fantasy VII, Steven? I’m not even mad anymore about it! You said you broke Disc 1 and threw away the entire game. We all know that’s a lie! The guard who never lies knew it was a lie and the guard who always lies actually broke his own promise because he know that horsedung too! You get some sweet cash for it? Enough to buy a copy of Mortal Kombat: Special Forces maybe? I hope you did. I hope you and your lies and your subpar PlayStation 1 brawlers are happy, Steven! This is what I use instead of a therapist these days!

Well, that and this podcast. The one you’re about to hear. This time, it’s the Konami logo movie from the Castlevania: Symphony of the Night Playstation disc.  We loop it. A lot. We don’t think that’s very healthy of us! Naturally, you should join us!

Aaron hosts this week and buys some cables from who knows where on the internet. John co-hosts and keeps losing all these toy boats!

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Man, I have no idea what’s happening here. I watched this a bunch and I just…don’t get it. Is that rice? Coconuts? Why is it hairy? What. Is. This. John. Seriously.

We watched something or another this week. Get in on it.

John Hurst hosts this week and lives in the goof. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and has to explore the options.

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We’re back to the well with more local Ric Flair commercials! This week, we watched something out of Kansas where Ric hocks some fireworks and seems supremely disinterested. Like, REALLY disinterested. Like, mostly he’s thinking about eating ham sandwiches kind of disinterested.

Here’s the commercial. It’s…not worth watching.

Aaron Littleton hosts and wins another award. John Hurst co-hosts and googles dry wall.

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The year was 1990 and the decade had just rolled over, kayfabe was still alive and somehow, SOMEHOW people bought the idea of Sting teaming up with Sting in a tag team wrestling match against Ric Flair. Even without endless fog machines and sweet pink stage lighting, life was good.

This week we watched a fantastic WCW promo featuring Sting and, yes, RoboCop. John dredged this up from somewhere and I honestly don’t have a great YouTube link for it. Click here for as close as I could get.

John Hurst hosts this week and does a laying down work out. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and eats Cheez-Its.

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What can make you smile? A million dollars? A kitten? Perhaps even…gold? Well, for one man in 1980s Europe (and let’s not get too more specific on just exactly where in Europe) there was one and only one answer for that: a Volkswagen hatchback. Some people, huh?

This week, we watched a classic Volkswagen Golf GTi commercial on loop. Join us, won’t you?

Aaron Littleton hosts and has a top tip! John Hurst co-hosts and has a scheme!

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If your house bugs and a spare room, it may be time to call Orkin. Yes, for just the price of room and board for a stranger for the rest of their (or your) life you too can maybe be free of insects for a little while. It’s…great?

Anyway, we watched this entirely forgettable Orkin commercial on loop. I… I have no idea why. Join us.

John Hurst hosts and blows an air horn. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and falls out of the back of a truck.

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Are regular theme parks not enough any more? Not getting the same thrills from being strapped into a roller coaster called the Exploding Eagle and zooming upside down over a parking lot that could easily become your grave if the 21 year old stoner “safety inspector” called Cory failed to do his job properly that morning? Well, do we have the park for you!

Closed because of deaths and then reopened to more deaths and possibly worse, this Action Park commercial that we watched on loop probably does as good a job as any gruesome news story of dissuading visitors from coming.

Aaron Littleton hosts and fails at boating safety. John Hurst co-hosts and gives up caffeine.

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Don’t feel down, little green man! You can do this! Yes you can! You’re my strong little green man with a purple hat and a towel around your neck! Chin up little guy! Yes, chin up!

A boost for everyone’s psyche, this week, we watched a clip from Dragon Ball Z where Piccolo feels pretty good. Check it out here!

John Hurst hosts this week and outlaws towels. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and wears two shirts!

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The Sonic wars almost escalated into a third week. Thankfully, a deal was reached and the armistice was signed between the two hosts. The mutual ground to sign such a treaty? A minor Sci-Fi TV series that noone can actually remember what it was about. Only that they quested in the sea a lot and there was a dolphin that can communicate with humans. But is there a tragic backstory behind this dolphin? There’s always a tragic backstory in sci-fi. Isn’t it time that the dolphins got their fair, tragic take? Join us as we weave a tale about a hero turn villain, Big Bad Daddy Flips.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is not about to go into that Sonic loop again. John Hurst is your co-host and RIDES OR DIES WITH THE DOLPHINS.

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