I’ve  been sitting in a delicate tension of both gratitude and grief as I think about recent gatherings of family and friends gathered.

With her faithful father by her side, my niece floated down the venue stairs. Robed in white, her shimmering eyes sparkled with a kind of innocent joy that’s rare these days. She glanced at her dad with adoring eyes and then stepped toward her future groom, clutching his hand with a little excited squeal thrown in for good measure.

Long before my brother knew the name of his daughter’s future spouse, he had been praying about the possibility of this day. From start to finish, it was the glorious affirmation of all they’d prayed for — the good and the beautiful that is at the heart of all covenantal wedding days. It was pure joy and my heart burst with gratitude at God’s faithfulness.

But my weekend also included one of life’s greatest sorrows — the tragic loss of my dear friend’s child. I was at my niece’s rehearsal dinner when I received her text. My crying gasp was audible, so I quickly walked away so as not to dampen the celebratory mood. As I was doubled over with grief, music and dancing, laughter and giggles echoed all around me. But on the other end of the phone, my friend’s heart was splayed open from the devastation of her loss. Her daughter was gone too soon, never to have a rehearsal dinner or dancing. A searing reminder that we have no guarantees.

Laughter and lamenting. Toasts and tears. All the “firsts” amidst such finality.

How could such emotions coexist? How was I suppose to function? With fourteen people staying in our home for the wedding, followed by a Sunday worship service (held in our backyard) for young families we mentor, I spent the wee hours of the weekend flushing out Ecclesiastes 3 in my heart. As I begged the Lord for wisdom on how to hold the grief and the joy, I was granted a gift.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens . . . a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 (NIV)

As I texted my grieving friend on the morning of the wedding, I shared that while I’d have to compartmentalize my feelings in order to celebrate, my heart wouldn’t be far from hers.

Her response came from someone who has spent decades deeply rooted in a biblical worldview that laid a solid foundation for her theology of suffering. She was understandably angry, completely devastated and living a parent’s worst nightmare, yet she also desired that through her darkest hour her Savior would be glorified.

She texted back, “Jen, go rejoice with those who are rejoicing. We will have plenty of time for mourning later.”

My memories of that wedding week are so complex, but they’ve taken me to a deeper level with the Lord than I’ve experienced in a long time. We want happy fairy tale days, and though our Lord does graciously give good gifts to His children, we are not guaranteed a life without grief and loss.

I’m choosing to not allow worry to be used as a weapon to harm me. Satan is trying his best, but I’m taking every single worry for myself, my dear friend and her family, and for our future, and wielding it as worship with my eyes fixed on the only Waymaker.

He is here amidst our laughter and lament, amidst our worry and our worship. I know this to be true and I will choose to continue to anchor my heart in His Word.

We’re all walking through such varied seasons right now, but one thing is certain: God is intricately involved in both our suffering and celebrating — our gratitude and grief.

And as we enter a week full of declaring gratitude and choosing to see all the ways His goodness intertwines amidst our grief, there, I find grace for myself, and there is grace for you too.

The post Can We Sit in the Tension of Grief and Gratitude? appeared first on Jen Schmidt.

During our early years of marriage, my husband and I had an inside joke that when the going got tough, I’d lean into “more fun Schmidt.” I actively chose celebration as a way to call out God’s goodness and faithfulness in our lives, even when times were hard.

Recently our family snuggled on the sofas and reflected on what the Lord had done this past year. We voiced hope, expectation, and even apprehension for the upcoming season.

I always look forward to these times of open sharing with our adult children, but this time was different. A subtle role reversal shift occurred as I laid my heart bare. “I’ve lost a bit of myself.”

I went on to share, “I feel like I’ve lost a bit of my sparkle. I’m wondering how my Pollyanna, glass-more-than-half-full personality has slowly leaked out. You all know I love to laugh, have fun, and encourage others, but this year I don’t recognize that girl as much and I need to find her. I want to be Jennifer ‘More Fun’ Schmidt once again.”

Who wants their mom to admit that?

The following week a friend called out to me in the church lobby.

“Jen, when we first met, I didn’t know your last name. Look how I added you to my contacts.” She showed me her phone which said, ‘Jen – my fun friend.’ She explained, “You bring the joy and the smiles wherever you go.”

The Lord uses all sorts of ways to get our attention and a lobby connection reminded me of my call to celebrate and embrace some fun. Regardless of how I feel, I am still His joy-filled daughter because His Spirit dwells in me. 

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Throughout Scripture, the Hebrew translation for “celebrate” reminds us to rejoice, to praise, to sing, and to prepare a feast. But how does Jen “More Fun” Schmidt reemerge when celebration seems unrecognizable?

God’s Word instructs us to stop and remember. Remember what God has done. Remember that this season doesn’t last for a lifetime. Remember His faithfulness through all generations and celebrate His goodness – both personally and collectively.

Dance, feast, hope, rest, laugh, worship. Celebration looks different for everyone, but Christians should be an alleluia from head to foot, as Saint Augustine reminds us. Yet often, we aren’t known for fun and celebration.

I desire to be known as a joy giver.

This isn’t an instruction to dismiss or pretend our challenging circumstances aren’t relevant. Just the opposite. During a time of excruciating loss and suffering, the first recorded celebration began with the Passover. God delivered the Israelites from slavery, gave hope for the future, and then instructed them to continue celebrating throughout the year: a perpetual remembrance for all future generations.

“This is a day you are to commemorate, for the generations to come you shall celebrate it as a festival to the Lord — a lasting ordinance.”
Exodus 12:14 NIV

So in the process of leaning into Jen “More Fun” Schmidt, I chose to view celebration as a spiritual discipline. To celebrate in response and remembrance. To celebrate with rhythms of welcome, kindness, and encouragement to others.

Celebration cultivates joy. Joy harnesses hope. Hope renews your soul and, amidst that renewal, your soul magnifies the Lord.

While I’d love to throw a real-life party for us all to have more fun, let’s create a virtual one in the comments. Will you let me celebrate and champion you?

Together as women of joyous celebration, I want to remind you what it feels like to have women in your corner who can’t wait to hear your good news. I am cranking up old school Kool and the Gang’s song, “Celebration” and kicking off the party because I don’t have enough fun. If no one else celebrates you this week, let us be those girlfriends who come behind you and throw a virtual party in your honor.

Share your news. Please don’t be shy. You’re not bragging. Let’s shout from the rooftops the goodness He’s doing in your life. Celebrate a move or a milestone. Share your progress or potential, your promotion or perseverance. Let’s rejoice in an adversity that you’re turning over to Him. Let’s shout from the rooftops something fun or silly that you had the opportunity to experience. Nothing is too small. I’d love to laugh.

We need to hear the story of how the Lord is using your small steps; in turn, it will be an encouragement to all your sisters here.

I’ll go first and meet you in the comments (at incourage)

And imagine you hear the music and you’re singing with me… “Celebrate good times, come on! There’s a party going on right here, a celebration to last throughout the years. So bring your good times and your laughter too. We gonna celebrate your party with you.”

The post Celebrate Good Times, Come On appeared first on Jen Schmidt.

Bring your Merry and we’ll make Memories as we turn our hearts towards home, decorate wreaths, create beautiful bows and leave inspired. Join us at the Becoming Cottage on Sunday, November 19, 2023.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, so come meet new friends or grab a sister, mom, daughter, neighbor, co-worker and join us as we ring in the holiday season with our annual Becoming Cottage “Deck the Halls” Holiday Workshop. While the time states it’s 3:00-5:00, you are free to linger around the table for much longer.

To see the fun we had last year, head to Jen’s instagram @jenschmidt_beautyandbedlam or follow the Becoming Cottage @becomingcottage

Purchase tickets here or pay Jen directly through Venmo or PayPal to avoid the additional ticket fees. Any additional donation to Becoming Ministries is tax deductible but please know that we don’t want ticket price to stop you from coming. Please reach out if that makes a difference.

Join host Jen Schmidt, author of “Just Open the Door” /founder of the Becoming Conference, alongside master workshop teacher April of West & Co for an afternoon of hands-on fun, encouragement and inspiration.
Not only will you leave inspired and refreshed with simple tips and ideas from Jen on how to make your holiday season a bit more magical, but we are combining three of April’s best workshops packed into one afternoon.

1. DIY/Decorate a large, fresh evergreen wreath.
April will demonstrate how to make a door sized wreath (to save on time she’ll bring one pre- made for every guest) and then we will decorate them at the cottage. We will provide cones, ornaments and ribbon for decorating, but feel free to bring any additional personalized items for your wreath.

2. Bow Making Workshop
She’ll be teaching us a step by step guide on how to make our own Long Tailed Layered Bow! You know the gorgeous ones we see on doors/wreaths? Now we can do it ourselves. Plus learn how to make them for beautiful presents. She’ll bring ribbon to create one for your wreath, but feel free to bring extra ribbon to match your decor and she can help walk you through the process.

3. Winter Wreath Inspiration
We know some of you may already have your Christmas wreath (perfect time to gift one to unsuspecting friend), but come learn on how to change it for the season as she shares how to decorate Winter Wreaths for the New Year, as well as incorporate eucalyptus.

We are going to have a blast, so come ready for all the intangibles that we can’t name like the magic of gathering together, the joy of the season and of course, mulling cider, hot cocoa and snacks while we sing some carols.
This event is held indoors at the Becoming Cottage “Barn,” but we hope the weather allows us to move around both inside and outside the property, so bring a jacket.

Purchase Tickets through Eventbrite here  or pay Jen directly.

**A small proceed from every ticket go towards the Becoming Ministry Scholarship fund.

We would love your help as we prepare for local area ministry events. As the end of the year approaches feel free to reach out to Jen about partnering with Becoming Ministries or venmo Jen at @JenSchmidtBecoming to add to the scholarship fund. All donations are tax deductable and we welcome your support.

Becoming Ministries Mission Statement: “Transforming communities by offering hope and encouragement to women and families through social, spiritual, emotional support and education.

The post Join Us: Deck the Halls Holiday Workshop at the Becoming Cottage appeared first on Jen Schmidt.

This Ice Cream Sandwich Cake is one of my favorite Go-To desserts especially during the summer.

If you omit the brownie crust, it can be finished in ten minutes from start to finish.

Yep, I speak the truth. 😉

***************

The last few weeks have been one of those non stop, go-go-go, invite a ton of people to your home kind of times. Last week alone we hosted two large parties totaling over 125 people.

There’s nothing more that I love than welcoming others to experience a bit of both our beauty and bedlam; they fill me to the brim, but they are also exhausting. A wonderful kind of exhausting, but still tiring.

I’ve come to the point where I can host large groups of guests like that because I will not let the stress of what our home looks like dictate how I approach the event. I guarantee the laundry will be cleared off the sofa, but please don’t open any of the closets.

I also know that it’s in the community of gathering that determines a wonderful evening. Well, that plus a great dessert, of course.

(Did you know I wrote a book about just that? Just Open the Door – filled with stories, tips and encouragement.)

This Brownie Oreo Ice Cream Cake goes above and beyond in the summer dessert department. It combines all my favorite prerequisite – delicious, incredibly easy, fairly frugal and it can feed a HUGE group without stress setting in. 

If you want your family to rise up and call you blessed, make this for them. Trust me, it’s a winner.

I made a huge 9×13 and it fed a LOT of hungry friends. It’s very rich, so it stretches. Most of you will not need this large of a cake, so just cut the amounts in half to fit your pan.

Since my recipes are always made for real life living, rarely do I get that perfect picture. This piece is a “day after” one that I snatched out of the hands of babes during the party and put back in my freezer before it all melted.

I had to have at least one picture where you can see the delicious layers of goodness. Feel free to mix and match flavors based on your preference. You will never have to pay $40 for a gourmet ice cream cake again because it’s so easy to replicate it for $5-8.

Can you get a peek of the secret weapon? Yes, store bought ice cream sandwiches. They are the wonderful reason we can whip this up in minutes, yet everyone thinks you slaved in the kitchen. (Budgeting tip: Ice Cream Sandwiches go on sale BOGO, so watch for the sale and then stock up.)

Everyone in our home wanted to dive in. I didn’t even know cats liked ice cream. 🙂

Please know that this is a very general, throw together your favorites, kind of recipe. You can NOT mess this up, so don’t stress out at all. It’s a wonderful recipe to make ahead of time. It can stay fresh for days if you seal it well and place in your freezer.

It came together based on my “mistake”. I didn’t have enough ice cream sandwiches to layer it twice like I normally do so I brainstormed other ingredients I had on hand. Mocha brownies had just come out of the oven, plus we had Oreos, whipped cream and chocolate syrup. I decided that a mocha brownie crust seemed a to-die for solution and I was right. You will want the brownie layer thinner than your typical brownie, so I literally separated them in half and then smooshed them down while they were still warm.

If you’ve ever made Brownie Pops, it’s the same philosophy. Literally mold the already baked brownies and push/pat them down into crust form covering your entire pan.

Have fun creating with this. As you can see, my recipe isn’t precise. That might make some of you nervous, but trust me on this, just layer and all will be well. Remember, I made this for a large group, so for your family just cut your amounts in half for an 8×8, then step back and wait for your guests to be amazed.

*repost from 2014 and it’s a blast to hear all the reviews of people who have made this and it’s now their favorite as well.

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The post SO EASY: Brownie Oreo Ice Cream Sandwich Cake appeared first on Jen Schmidt.

I’ve laid awake at night scrolling through decades of apologies I’ve needed to make — instances when I didn’t know the unintended pain I’d inflicted or when I didn’t understand someone’s silent suffering. With age, maturity, and hard-fought life lessons, there comes a new understanding of grief. It’s multi-faceted with layers of nuances we never imagined.

I started writing at (in)courage (where I first posted this) when the youngest of our five children was in kindergarten. With a large family by choice, the pain of infertility was the farthest thing from my mind. In fact, my parents celebrate thirty grandchildren from only four kids. People joked that there must be something in our family water, and when our eldest son got married, he ran with it. He and his precious wife prepped me for the eight grandkids they’d give us right away.

I couldn’t wait. Our home has been the launching pad for some of God’s greatest missional work. And as I’ve made mothering decisions, it’s been with the knowledge that my parenting choices impact not only our own children but our children’s children. The covenant of family weaves legacy components, and now I had the honor of an additional generation.

But when our son and daughter-in-love found out they had a minute chance of having biological children, we were all devastated. Life changed. Dreams shifted. Future plans were instantly rearranged.

With hundreds of Bible verses addressing the blessing of children, they’d stepped forward offering their family and fertility to Him believing, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them” (Psalm 127:3-5a).

So why couldn’t this Scripture be their story?

Infertility isn’t often addressed from a future grandmother’s point of view, but watching your beloved child be filled with such heartbreak and face closed doors is a pain for which I wasn’t prepared. While it’s not a cancer diagnosis or a devastating car accident, that diagnosis changed everything. Yet amidst such disappointment, the Lord has drawn me closer to Himself.

My empathy and sensitivity towards those suffering in silence has increased. One out of every eight women deal with infertility issues. Compound that with the pain that one out of every four women miscarry at some time in their motherhood journey, and we have vast ministry opportunities to encourage and support women at every gathering. For generations, these were topics not talked about amidst the “quilting bees” of life. Stunning statistics sat buried alongside hidden hopes for the future.

If you’ve previously walked this road or are presently pleading for God to expand your family whether as a mother or grandmother, I recognize the grief and exhaustion you’re carrying. On behalf of myself and others who didn’t understand the devastation before, I am so sorry for our insensitivity; I know it can be a lonely journey.

It’s been over four years of holding our son and daughter-in-love’s sorrow near to my heart. I’ve wrestled hard with the Lord over this diagnosis and He’s okay with that. I’ll admit that I’ve even gotten a little judge-y, pointing fingers at others wondering, Why them and not us? My sin has bubbled up, yet He welcomes my questions, my cries, and even my dashed dreams. He lets me mourn and then reminds me that His Word will not return void. So as the months turned to years, we were invited to claim Galatians 6:9 as our pillar of hope:

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

With that goal, I’ve decided to usher my heart of sadness into declarations of praise for the Lord’s faithfulness and to walk with those journeying through silent suffering. Does this change our kids’ prognosis? No. Are there still questions and uncertainty? Absolutely. But the same God who opens wombs closes them too, so we persevere and trust in His goodness. I choose to believe His promise of hope in a plentiful harvest because it will come at the Lord’s right and appointed time. I have no idea what that will look like, but I know that every embryo, every baby, and every child matters. And so I wait as God continues to write the story for my children.

While He delights in showing His power through miracles, my expectant prayers have shifted: Lord, please expand their family in any way which brings You the most glory. This is hard, but it’s all for You.

And shouldn’t that be our cry every day? With work or neighbors, family or friends?

Show me how to bring You the most glory, Lord. Every single choice is all for You.

Let’s not become weary in our wait. His harvest is coming.

***Much of this article was taken from journaling I’ve done over the last four years when this wasn’t yet my story to share. I also wrote about what I do as I’m struggling with questions and grief in my article “Raise a Hallelujah.”

I’ll write more about their journey with Embryo Adoption soon.

The post I Have Apologies to Make: Infertility appeared first on Jen Schmidt.

Holiday meals are upon us, so I’ve made my list and I’m checking it twice:

Mashed Potatoes (the Make Ahead recipe),  Cider Baked Turkey (purchase the juice), Butterhorn Rolls (for Gratitude Rolls),  Pumpkin Bars, and I must remember to cut out the card stock for the Leaves of Thanks tradition.

Yet everyday I feel as if I am rushing ten steps forward and twelve steps back. Between work, laundry, clutter, wedding plans (our second son is getting married this week), kids, my Becoming Ministries non-profit launch, and then always the “What’s for dinner question?”

For years, I’ve been a huge proponent of my tongue in cheek phrase: “The ministry of making you feel better about yourself.” Today’s disclosure is that I’ve worn the same cute (and still smelling fresh) outfit three days in a row because I knew that each day I’d encounter different people.

How has this happened? I idled in neutral for an entire year, and then suddenly I flipped into fast forward by doing exactly what I vowed not to. Instead of fighting for margin, I pack my calendar. Instead of pursing intentional time, I allow the mediocrity of my moments creep in and steal my joyful bandwidth. Amidst my multitasking, I wake up worried, wondering what items fell through the cracks. And that’s the last thing I desire as we step into these upcoming celebratory months.

My heart beats faster as I type, announcing that it’s time for me to push back, to reclaim more uncomplicated moments, to remember the beauty in a wise “no” and think through my whys with calendar decisions. Even though last year held stressors and struggles, I also stepped into a rhythm of simple pleasures that I hadn’t embraced in years. Baking scones and cinnamon rolls to share with others, slow candlelit morning devotions, learning about cut flower gardening, and lingering at the dinner table amidst powerful conversations topped a few of my favorite things.

Can you reminisce about last Thanksgiving and Christmas season? Knee deep in the unknown impacts of the pandemic, many of us still experienced the slowest, most simple holiday season in years. With parties canceled, guest lists scrunched, money saved, and evenings at home, we contemplated how to maintain this simple rhythm once mandates lifted.

So as the temptation looms to rush and ready ourselves for upcoming festivities, let’s push back against packed calendars filled with unnecessary stress and savor the celebratory moments we are creating.

Since November and December are months focused on feeding people well, let’s do more than feed tummies. Let’s remember to feed their souls, their hearts, their imagination, their creativity. I’ll start the list:

1. Feed gratitude. As I nurture this quality, joy thrives and priories realign.

2. Feed flexibility. Our best laid plans may not happen. Guests will be late. Food will get cold, but in the bigger scheme of things, it’s nothing. I open my hands and offer up my attempted control.

3. Feed patience (lots of it). We live in a world of tension. Be the balm. “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel” (Proverbs 15:18).

4. Feed laughter. There’s nothing better than cultivating an atmosphere of deep belly laughing after a satisfying meal. Laugh so hard that tears run down your legs — kidding but not.

5. Feed contentment. With all the Black Friday sales, it’s difficult to remember the balance of need vs. want. We truly have everything we need.

6. Feed compassion. Even though Old Aunt Sue has shared (probably rambled) the same story for the fifteenth time, make her feel as if it is the first. When we make her the star of the show for just one day, we uplift and encourage her in ways that no one has in a long time.

7. Feed encouragement. We’re fragile. A blessed word makes hearts soar.

8. Feed forgiveness. This is the year. Many of us have carried bitterness especially over disagreements about the last nineteen months. Lay our heaviness at His feet and let Him carry it. Extend forgiveness; experience freedom.

9. Feed hospitality. Loneliness and isolation thrive. Be that solution for one person this month. Open your door, welcome the stranger, save a seat at your table, and extend the gift of your invitation. In doing so, you ease their burden as you share Christ’s love.

When the turkey is gone and the mashed potatoes are cold, all that is left are the shared moments and memories of doing life together. I want to make the most of them, don’t you?

My little note card on my fridge reminds me, Feed them. Won’t you join me and jot down the same?

The post What Will I Feed Them? appeared first on Jen Schmidt.

(Adding: in the last 18 months, this little “Cottage that Could” as I call, it has hosted over 1000 people and the property is far from being finished. Never assume you have to have a big beautiful place that’s finally finished to welcome others in and point them to God’s goodness. We still have a long way to go and are in the process of raising funds to add a bathroom since the “barn” doesn’t have any running water, as well as a necessary privacy fence. If you’d love to help, please reach out.”

In April we did a crazy thing. Yes, we did. An exciting, overwhelming, life giving, “How have I gotten myself
in so far over my head,” kind of God thing.

In February and March, we rode a chaotic roller coaster of whether or not this purchase would happen, but many months later, I can now officially declare, “Welcome to the Becoming Cottage.” I first posted this on Instagram on April 1, 2021, and yes, the fact it happened on April Fools Day is not lost on me. Some people have thought we were foolish for this purchase, but with that I’m reminded of my own words during our long God Watch season of unemployment,

I watch. I wait. I wonder.
Some call it courage. Some call it foolish.
I call it faith.

I have faith that in the midst of all this bedlam, this is the first chapter in a page turner about a little foreclosed brick house purchased “As Is” to use as a ministry, hospitality house because you know how I feel about gathering. #Justopenthedoor.

For over a decade, many of you have followed my dream to build a barn on our property to use for ministry events, small retreats and #hospitality functions. #bbbdreambarn In fact, you’ve heard me talk about it for years at my Becoming Conference. Starting the Becoming Conference was a way I could gather, but I never planned on hosting a huge conference for a decade. What a blessings it’s been and Becoming Ministries is finally a 501C3 tax exempt status. (Since I’ve run the Becoming conference basically as a non profit for the last many years, I should have done this sooner.)

I’ve written about my dream for this barn a bunch (Dreaming Big). Behind the scenes, I’ve actively worked many little side hustle jobs to make it happen. I’ve baked scones and flipped furniture, worked $10/hour catering jobs because every ounce of me has desired to link arms with women and call them up right where they are, but  I wanted a set gathering place (aside from our home) to do this.

Over the years, we’ve had setbacks and had to rethink our financial goals, but I kept pressing on. Right before the world shut down, I started getting quotes and then C-19 hit. Wood prices skyrocketed, I became unemployed since conferences/speaking stopped and honestly, it’s my income that needs to fund this dream.

My hubby and I knew that financially it wouldn’t be wise to build anymore so we pivoted and decided to add a tiny house or 2 here at Huckleberry Haven since our house was packed all of quarantine. (We were going to turn large sheds into tiny houses.) It felt a little like the death of a dream, but since it’s a first world problem kind of dream, I held it loosely.  I am living proof that we often have to wait and wonder and watch for decades to see how the Lord might open doors.

When this foreclosure property came up for sale RIGHT DOWN THE STREET from our house/land, with the low interest rates and unlimited potential (just wait), we put in an offer on this foreclosure. Since we aren’t investors with deep pockets like most house flippers, we went in eyes wide open, but here in rural NC, this was a steal.

Friends,  my husband didn’t even walk through it before we put in the bid. That’s trust in me and quite scary since I have no clue what I am doing. 😂 In fact, the pictures you are seeing are the very “pretty”, almost doctored ones that were posted for the house sale. They don’t show anything up close and definitely don’t highlight the incredible amount of work needed.

We didn’t go into this blindly. We had money set aside for the roof (yes, the tarp showed us worked needed to be done.) We also knew there were water issues in the basement but had no idea just how bad they were. So the money we set aside to fix up any cosmetic portions of the cottage is unfortunately going towards things we didn’t count on.

I call it the “underwear money.” We have to spend on the necessities you won’t ever see. As per the bank, we immediately had to add new roofs and few items we didn’t plan on right away, So the rest? We will renovate on #secondhand donations (thank you for those who’ve already helped), volunteers and a thrift store budget. If you’re following along on Instagram, you are already being taken along for the ride (@becomingcottage or @jenschmidt_beautyandbedlam).

The vision I saw in this property wasn’t because of the small ranch house. I bought it because of all the things others didn’t see.

1. A 25×40 foot detached workshop that I am turning into my hospitality “barn.” It might look very basic to you, but I have great plans for this little white box and should be able to hold about 75 people. 🙂 Granted it’s nothing like what I envisioned for all these years, but there’s something cozy and attainable in those ugly walls. (Stain tuned for the inside or see them on IG.) When the budget allows, I’ll remove the garage door, add beautiful glass sliding french doors and then add a simple front porch and side porch for additional gathering space. Praying to do this in the next year or two.

Inspiration pictures

2. This huge cement slab will house will be repaired in time and I envision twinkly white lights, a beautiful tent or pavilion and since it overlooks a pond (that unfortunately we don’t own it), the setting sun view is spectacular. There’s already a cement shed that we will fix up and will be the “bar” area for gatherings. And since I’ve spent my life writing about beauty and bedlam, check out the video. Of course this would happen to us. We will need privacy fencing on small areas of both sides of the property once building supply prices go down.  This is a view from the cement slab looking at the hospitality barn.

3. A 1500 square foot unfinished basement with both a door and window to the outside. Yes, that was water standing in there. This is prime square footage to finish off, but first the majority of our budget is going to fix the basement issues. Our first quote was $20K and I about cried on the spot since we are paying cash for all renovations and can’t come close to affording that. But look at this week’s instagram stories. We are hoping this less expensive fix can work.

This post has gotten LONG. So sorry. We’ve been so busy behind the scenes and lots has happened since I started writing this three months ago.

It’s been the hardest manual labor I’ve ever done in my life (and I’ve done a lot). My husband and I keep chuckling that we decided to wait until we were in our 50’s to attempt a project like this when all our hard working kids have left the nest. What were we thinking? 🙂 I was thinking that I can’t wait to hear the stories of all the people who will be welcomed through these doors and find a respite to call home (if even for a night.)

Our desire for this Everyday hospitality house is that the doors will swing wide open for all to use. In a season of isolation and loneliness, I can’t wait to welcome and remind you of how much you are loved.❤️

I’m always looking for people to partner with our Ministry. I’d love to welcome you, link arms with you, host you or give you a place to use your gifts to point others to His goodness. Please reach out. Also if you’re looking for a counter cultural ministry for your year end donation, we’d welcome the gift. Everything is tax deductible under our 501 C3. Every dollar makes a difference. Reach out or our venmo is: @jenschmidtbecoming

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While I wrote this during the summer of 2020 for (in)courage, I think acknowledging this tension and pondering what it looks like within our own lives will always be of critical importance.  ***********

My weekend encapsulated one of those magical moments that little girls dream about their whole lives – their wedding day. With months of uncertainty and questions about gatherings due to the COVID-19, the celebration was sweetened by the intense way my niece and her fiancé pushed through struggles and challenges, tears and fears. It was finally their day!

With her faithful father by her side, my niece floated down the venue stairs. Robed in white, her shimmering eyes sparkled with a kind of innocent joy that’s rare these days. She glanced at her daddy and then stepped toward her future groom, clutching his hand with a little excited squeal thrown in for good measure. Long before he knew the name of his daughter’s future spouse, my brother had been praying about the possibility of this day. From start to finish, it was the glorious affirmation of all they’d prayed for — the good and the beautiful that is at the heart of all covenantal wedding days. It was pure joy.

But my weekend also included one of life’s greatest sorrows — the sudden loss of my dear friend’s child. I was at the rehearsal dinner when I received her text. My gasp was audible, so I quickly walked away so as not to dampen the celebratory mood. As I was doubled over with grief, music and dancing, laughter and giggles echoed all around me. But on the other end of the phone, my friend’s heart was splayed open from the devastation over her loss. Her daughter was gone too soon, never to have a rehearsal dinner. We have no guarantees.

Laughter and lamenting. Toasts and tears. All the “firsts” amidst such finality.

How could such emotions co-exist? How was I to function?

With fourteen people staying at our home for the wedding, followed by a Sunday worship service (held in our backyard) for young families we mentor, I spent the wee hours of the weekend flushing out Ecclesiastes 3 in my heart. As I begged the Lord for wisdom on how to hold the grief and the joy, I was granted a gift.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens . . . a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 (NIV)

As I texted my grieving friend on the morning of the wedding, I shared that while I’d have to compartmentalize my feelings in order to celebrate, my heart wouldn’t be far from hers.

Her response came from someone who has spent decades deeply rooted in a biblical worldview that laid a solid foundation for her theology of suffering. She was understandably angry, completely devastated and living a parent’s worst nightmare, yet she also desired that through her darkest hour her Savior would be glorified.

She texted back, Jen, go rejoice with those who are rejoicing. We will have plenty of time for mourning later.

My memories of that wedding week are so complex, but they’ve taken me to a deeper level with the Lord than I’ve experienced in a long time. We want happy fairy tale days, and though our Lord does graciously give good gifts to His children, we are not guaranteed a life without grief and loss.

We’re all walking through such varied seasons right now, but one thing is certain: God is intricately involved in both our suffering and celebrating.

I’m reminded that we must ask tough questions in our faith now so that we can have a strong foundation when we face impossible situations, including death and loss. Then, He can comfort us in our most challenging times when we cry out, “Why have you forsaken me?”

I’m sitting in that tension on a more personal level as well. Prior to my niece’s wedding, I had received some scary medical results. I’d wrestled with pain under my left breast throughout the shelter-at-home quarantine, but since all non-essential appointments had been canceled for months, I decided not to worry my family unnecessarily. Once I finally got my appointment, the results of my mammogram showed a small mass where the pain was located.

It could be just a fatty tumor, but honestly, life holds such a perspective shift with what this mass could mean. It’s a gift to process all this even as I write now.

And as I wait for results*, I wonder what’s to come. In complete transparency, I’m worried. Yet, I’m not allowing worry to be used as a weapon to harm me. Satan is trying his best, but instead, I’m taking every single worry for myself, my dear friend and her family, for our future, and wielding it as worship with my eyes fixed on the only Waymaker.

He is here amidst our laughter and lament, amidst our worry and our worship. I know this to be true and choose to continue anchor my heart in His Word. There, I find grace for myself, and there is grace for you too.

*Edited to add: To everyone’s shock and relief, I got my mammogram results, and they were benign. Thanking God for His grace!

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Low Carb Chocolate Avocado Mousse Recipe

This week marked a significant milestone in the Schmidt house hold. If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you know that after having anywhere between 8 – 12 people quarantined here for the last five, yes, let me repeat that, nearly five months, we are down to the elite three. (My hubby, myself and our baby. Our baby may be 5’9” now and 17 years old, but she’s still my baby.) Our older kids moved back to their city life and our two college aged kids started last week. (We will see how long that lasts.)

It’s quiet. Too quiet. During this challenging season, I often wished for time to myself, but I knew I’d miss them all once they left and I do. So much.

These months have knitted our hearts together in such unexpected ways and I know when they all look back on this unique time, they’ll remember the hours and hours of time shared around the table.  The hilarious stories and laughter, the feisty debates and disagreements, the opinions and yes, even opposition, but we’ve listened and learned and whole heartedly loved on each other through so much transition.  What a blessing.

I’ve often reiterated that it’s in the kitchen where the warmth of shared memories, laughter and life create a recipe that spans the generations. This time together was marked with so many wonderful times cooking, feasting, snacking, and experimenting with different recipes.

And dancing. Lots of dancing in the kitchen (Check my instagram highlights. 🙂

Full disclosure. Meal time was also filled with chaos and stress for me because feeding everyone was CRAZY. We had six – twenty something year old guys to feed. That’s a lot of food, plus there was a mixture of special dietary needs which makes serving treats a challenge. A few were doing keto, one was gluten-free and the rest begged for comfort foods 24/7 so we brainstormed ideas that would make everyone happy.

And guess what foods won nearly every day? Avocados (in every single form namely guac) and dark chocolate so we decided to put the two together. 

It’s based upon authentic recipes from the 1750s when early American chocolate makers used eight spices including vanilla, orange peel, cinnamon to flavor chocolate. Spices from around the world would have been blended directly into the cocoa, giving chocolate a wonderful and unique flavor. When I bake with it, the depth of flavor profile that it gives to my baked goods is unbelievable.Their Finely Grated Baking Chocolate is so versatile, it can be used 1-to-1 in any recipe that calls for semisweet baking chocolate.

But today I’m sharing this low carb, gluten-free and vegan Chocolate Avocado Mousse recipe that always feels like we are indulging, even though we aren’t. Since I’m eating low carb right now, it’s perfect for my sweet cravings and it’s  become one of my go-to recipes for when we have people over. It’s so easy to whip together, yet offers a decadent treat for nearly all dietary needs.

The recipe is versatile, so if you don’t like chia seeds, omit them (although they’re super healthy.) If you don’t have canned coconut milk, I’ve also used almond milk too, so there’s flexibility. Freeze it for a few hours and you’ll have a delicious frozen treat, but please trust me about the avocado.

No one will know it’s in there. It’s a perfect, healthy and creamy substitute. I’ve even used them in a brownie recipe now. I’m a believer.

P.S. Since you’re home with your kids and we all want to make history more interesting for our
children, why don’t you take a little twirl through Colonial History with them and enjoy my past
visit to Old Salem, Monticello , Mount Vernon and Washington DC’s National Archives . Enjoy
making history come alive as you combine learning a little about the history of chocolate, while
eating some delicious treats that you made together.

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Amidst the shelter at home quarantine, I received a very interesting question via my Instagram. Even though it’s been months and we’re all in different parts of the country with varying plans for re-opening, many will ponder different aspects of her vulnerable question.

“Jen, I know you are passionate about creating community and biblical hospitality, but what if after this quarantine, I struggle to find my place again? I’m finding I don’t like small talk and I don’t miss ‘lunch with the girls.’ I love my family and realize that being with my kids is my passion. I don’t really have interests outside of them, but that’s not really fair to them is it? How do I step back into the social/friend stuff when I don’t even want to?”

I wrestled through my response to her because I’ve been struggling too. The longer we are living distant lives, the potential for complacency becomes greater. The quarantine has already been going on for months so statistically, we’re forming new habits. Habits filled with distance. Habits designed to measure personal safety and comfort. Habits that systematically make us question how our day’s actions will impact our health, ourselves, and our families. It’s just a fact.

So when one of the most important aspects of my personal ministry’s foundation encourages women to step forward in absolute freedom to love on others by gathering and “just opening the door,” my heart grieves amidst this “must shut the door” lifestyle.  Understanding there’s never been a more important time to ward off the loneliness and isolation that play havoc in a woman’s soul, please know that I have been on my knees in prayer for you — all of you.

Community is of critical importance, especially in these times. We are created for it, and so I’ve spent time brainstorming and petitioning the Lord for wisdom as to what that will look like in the future. I know we can’t stop gathering. We can’t stop pursuing one another — it’s more important now than ever before.

Yet the ongoing social, emotional, and even spiritual implications in which COVID-19 manifests itself varies dramatically for each family unit whether we are single, married, with kids or without. We need to give grace to ourselves as we figure out our new normal because it will take time. There’s no “one tried and true way” for us to recover from a pandemic, yet the wisdom of Scripture is quite straight forward when it comes to the topics in her question — mentoring and discipleship (for her, parenting) and practicing hospitality.

While there are lists of how-to’s on these topics, we must first understand why we’re commanded to pursue others and then model it. God’s Word provides the answer, and His Word doesn’t change amidst varying social climates.

First, I celebrated this precious mom and the tremendous job she’s doing of teaching His Word to her children. As you know, that is no small feat. To find such joy and to place such a priority on discipling her closest neighbors – her own children – speaks to the critical importance of Deuteronomy 6:7 —

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

When we talk and then walk out His commandments throughout the day, we bring Him glory. But it can’t stop there. We must talk and walk out our faith for those inside and outside our homes.

Every day I pray, “Bearing the Imago Dei, being made in Your image, Lord, show me unique ways that I can point others to You today.” I remind myself, “Jen, this isn’t about you or your comfort,” and I embrace 1 Thessalonians 2:8 —

Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.

So whether it’s for our neighbors or co-workers or our children, my desire is that they witness a woman whose faith embraces the fullness of God’s unending, overflowing, abundant, and perfect love. I pray they’ll know our lives have been so changed, that we can’t help but tell others about what the Savior has been up to in our lives. For the Schmidt family (and I hope yours too), we can’t help but invite others into our home (or gather at a park) or pursue those who need encouragement. We know the story of His goodness and are compelled to share it. We don’t always get this right. In fact, sometimes we fail miserably, but we continue to step forward asking Him to use our mistakes.

So to the mom who asked me that question, I didn’t give her any tips on how to step back into the social/friend stuff, but instead, I challenged her to understand the why. We welcome and invite others into community because we’re driven by the overarching principle to love God, love His will, and point others to His glory.

I challenged her to ask these same questions as if the quarantine never occurred. Would she struggle with the same issues? Would you? Do you?

As she wrestled through my response, her very real and raw answer spoke to me.

“You gave me a lot to think about. ‘We are commanded to,’  you said. Still soaking that in and really needing to ponder what you said to me.”

As always, my friends, grace on, guilt off. But ponder with me what your new normal will look like, and let’s keep pursuing others, compelled by the love God has for us.

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