hot chocolate and mint

A Daughter's Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Thu, 12 Mar 2026 08:19:00 +0000

You watched me struggle

You heard all my cries

And my screams

I was drowned in pain

Fell into a well so deep and dark

and did not know how to get out

I called you

I called for you

I did not ask for help

I begged

I reached a point when I told you

"I give up"

and dying felt like an option

And you said to me,

"Don't forget to pray"

Because you think

only God can save me

when all I wanted

was for you to save me

I tell you everything

every time

I was always reaching out for you

thinking you were my guiding light

But now I realize

You were never a lamp

I was my own lamp

Shining my own empty rooms

Guiding my own ways

"She's so bright",

you talk about others

I am here, shining too

but invisible to you

I begged

I cried

I screamed

And you just looked at me

"I don't know what to say"

but I do

I just wanted you to say

"I love you. I am proud of you. I am here"

Errrr Hello?

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Tue, 24 Feb 2026 08:42:00 +0000

Hello, hello. Hello? I haven't written anything in 2026 here? It makes senses though. I have been barely writing anything lately, I have even been struggling to write a long decent caption on Instagram. I am simply out of words. Speechless but like literally. The disappointment I have towards the many wrong things happening around the world has consumed my mental state and taken my tongue out that I.. I.. just don't know what to say anymore. I caved in into my own little art world; creating, sewing, just trying to calm myself down, but deep down, I am broken. I wonder, what can I do. What can I do. What CAN I do? Even the biggest world organizations seem to have no function at all, almost like a joke, because hey, the world is dictated by one person and one country? Insane. Insanity.

What I can do, perhaps, is to keep creating art with a strong message of optimism and hope, to keep being kind to others, to live mindfully and to raise great children. The world is not okay. We keep fighting. Phewh.

2025 Reflections

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 20:59:00 +0000

Doing something new, or big, is scary. But if you never try, you won’t level up. You need to take risks and see how things go. Improvise, pivot, grow.
Don’t wait for opportunities, create them for yourself. Sell your ideas to others. Be the one pitching ideas, even if you might get rejected. Don’t be shy. Don’t feel embarrassed if someone thinks your idea is silly. It’s silly until someone eventually gets it. Keep fishing until you find the right fish.
The world is controlled by people in power who are so, so, so greedy. It’s insane to think about how powerless we actually are.
I think that’s why mothers are so important. The role of mothers; birthing the next generation, protecting, nurturing, and guiding the future, is where hope is. My hope is for mothers to love so deeply that our children become compassionate people who make this world a much better place.
Actions are louder than words, but words heal more deeply than actions. Be soft in your actions; be even softer in your words.
Art heals. My sewing is a place of calm where my mind gets to rest. Find peace in art and through art.
Love is beautiful, so be generous with it.
Invest in understanding yourself why you are the way you are. Go to therapy. Read self-discovery books. It’s very important to connect with yourself so you don’t get lost in this world. Have a good moral compass, and let that compass be kindness and your true self.
Self-love is important, but it’s not always about choosing ourselves over others. Self-love is about being reasonable and sensible about our own needs while considering other people too. What is the most sensible thing to do in this moment, considering both your feelings and the other person’s? Think carefully.
Life is all about compromise. You can’t have it all. You can’t have it your way all the time. Less “me,” less “you,” more “I need this now, and perhaps you can have that later,” or the other way around. Share wins and losses. Maybe today I’ll “lose” so you can win. It’s okay.
Traveling is so important because no one is richer than a cultured person.
Have lots of empathy, because putting yourself in other people’s shoes will help you see life differently and realize that we are all just human beings trying to survive. This understanding will make you less angry about things.
If something no longer serves you, you are allowed to leave ~ or stay, but become a wallflower. Don’t waste your time, love, and energy on things that don’t love you back.

Sewing My Broken Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 07:34:00 +0000

Sewing started out as something simple I enjoyed, but over time it became the place where my mind finally slows down. It’s where the noise, the pressure, the overthinking all get quiet for a moment. I began to notice that every seam is a moment where I find myself again. People see clothes, but I see healing. I see a space where my hands stay busy so my heart can rest. Sewing is how I recenter and work through the things I don’t always say out loud. It’s more than a creative outlet. It’s how I take care of my mind. I hope everyone can find something like this too; an activity that becomes a form of therapy, a place where your mind can finally breathe.

Love

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 11:04:00 +0000

When love

is unfiltered

it is truly the most beautiful thing

Some say

love a lot

but not too much

because too much of something

is never good

but love is not greedy

love does not own

love is not lust

love is not control

love is a connection

between hearts

that listen

that see

that validates

so love a lot

because love is best

when in abundance

It's All Good

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 18:53:00 +0000

I know a place 

where everyone is nice 

and everything feels fine. 

The place, 

it's in my head,

 in yours. 

We all imagine it 

and wake up to our daydreams, 

that life isn't that nice, 

and not everything is fine. 

But the sun feels just as warm, 

the moon is always beautiful, 

the trees continue to grow tall, 

the music continues to play,

 and we remind ourselves once again

 it's all good.

Empathy

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Mon, 13 Oct 2025 09:40:00 +0000

Is it chaos?

Or is it just life?

Is it only happening to me?

Or is it a part of everyone else's?

I know

We are all fighting

for that feeling

for that longing

for that desire to be rid of it

And we try

and try

One day at a time

I know

We are in this together

Connected through the air

and the sky

and the stars

and the moon

I am thinking of you

I hope you think of me too

Freeze

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Tue, 07 Oct 2025 09:12:00 +0000

If I can freeze time

it would be those moments

when you smiled so innocently

and laughed uncontrollably

I love you

I love us

Love

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 06:51:00 +0000

In moments of chaos

recenter your mind

and focus on love

Love yourself

Love your morning

Love your cup of tea

Love the song you're listening to

Love that chat you had the other day

Something is always worth loving

and the chaos becomes less loud

Fash-ong

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 14:12:00 +0000

"Oh, I'm not into fashion"

I often find fashion being so often written off as 'shallow'. For some, fashion is too focused on appearances, too concerned with the surface. But if that’s the standard for critique, shouldn’t we question nearly all forms of art? Architecture is celebrated for its grandeur. Film is admired for its visual storytelling. Both are deeply tied to aesthetics and excess, yet they’re rarely dismissed as frivolous.

I believe, the difference often comes down to gender. Fashion has long been coded as feminine, and with that comes a long history of being undervalued, and therefore is perceived as less serious, less intellectual, less valid. Meanwhile, more “masculine” arts like architecture or industrial design are granted legitimacy and seriousness, even when they actually also revolve around spectacle, style, and surface.

But fashion, too, is art, when meaning is put into it. Like any creative medium, it has the power to tell stories, challenge norms, and express something deeper than just 'looking good.' A garment can carry history, politics, resistance, joy. It can be deeply personal or widely symbolic.

To reduce fashion to vanity is to overlook the intent, the craft, and the cultural dialogue happening through clothing every day. Yes, it exists on the surface, but its meaning goes far beneath. Fashion deserves to be seen for what it truly is: a powerful, expressive art form that reflects who we are and how we move through the world, through our bodies and what we choose to layer them with. It’s not just about what we wear. It is about what we say when we wear it. And that’s what makes it powerful.

Inward & Forward

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Mon, 15 Sep 2025 11:52:00 +0000

Dear world,

Don’t we often find ourselves searching for happiness? We travel far, dig deep, and seek out external sources to provide it. But I’ve come to understand that we cannot truly find happiness within ourselves, if and only if, we measure it against the past. True happiness is found when we look inward, and forward.

So often, we strive to make our parents proud, to protect the legacy of our family name. And in doing so, our happiness becomes tied to approval. But approval is a distorted reality, a false promise. We will never feel like we are enough if we constantly chase validation. I now fully understand that to be truly happy, we must live for the little child inside us. Make that child proud. And live for your own children, in the hope that through everything you do, you inspire them, that you create a path of growth, and leave behind a world that is beautiful and worth inheriting.

Our purpose isn’t to honor the past with applause, but to craft a future worthy of our children’s pride.

So instead of seeking approval, seek to make an impact, big or small. On that journey, I promise you, happiness will find you.

Bling

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Fri, 05 Sep 2025 10:04:00 +0000

With everything that had happened

the dark clouds

the heavy shoulders

the cold presence

the absent compassion

the sinister lines

the quiet dismissals

the still faces

My heart expanded

with forgiveness

and a path to move forward

to accept what is

to carry on with what has been

to put away the what ifs

and focus on what's next

I want to walk on a sunny day

feeling light

despite all of it

because all of it

has made me

a diamond.

Good Luck!

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Sat, 02 Aug 2025 02:55:00 +0000

I love my daughter's insane sense of humor.

We went to an amusement park and were so excited to get on a particular rollercoaster. We queued up, and when it was finally our turn, the ride began and ended so quickly that we were like, "That's it!?", because it wasn’t thrilling at all.

As we got off the ride, she waved at the crowd still waiting in line and shouted, "Good luck for nothing!"

Home

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Sun, 20 Jul 2025 10:02:00 +0000

Living abroad transforms you. New experiences, new values, new expectations of connection, while perhaps, the others back home continue in their familiar rhythm. Sometimes, we may not know how to meet each other where each of us are anymore.

Why do we travel back home? Is it a sense of obligation? Longing? Hope? Guilt? Tradition? Most often, we return to places for the purpose of grounding. But what if it doesn't anymore? Maybe it isn't about the place after all. Maybe it's the people. Maybe it's simply where the hearts meet.

While life moves forward, the meaning of 'home' is something that we often forget to think about. Where is that home for you? Maybe, home is just yourself, in your own body, in your quiet, soaked in gratitude, patting yourself gently, nourishing your own soul with love - from you to you. 💖

Strange Encounters

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Thu, 17 Jul 2025 10:03:00 +0000

I was at the airport, flying from London back to Lausanne, already in the boarding area. It had been a long day, and all I wanted was to sit down. The whole area was packed, except for one empty seat I spotted. I rushed toward it, only to bump into another woman heading for the same spot. We looked at each other. Normally, my instinct would be to offer her the seat and be the bigger person. But instead, I said to her with a smile,

"Let's do rock-paper-scissors."

She stared at me with confusion, and surprisingly went for it.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

Two adults, playing a children's game in the middle of a crowded airport.

I lost.

We both laughed. She sat. I ended up standing next to her while waiting to board.

I'm pretty sure she'll remember this moment forever, because I know I will. It was pure, unexpected joy.

Kindness Always

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Fri, 13 Jun 2025 20:03:00 +0000

The world is a better place

because there remains a group of us

who hold on to our belief

that kindness is the only way

through the ups and downs

and ins and outs

of life that can be hard and miserable

but also funny and glorious

because when your eyes are kind

and your heart is kind

you see life with understanding

and compassion and tolerance

you brush off the small annoyances

and say goodbye to big disturbances

by simply saying

"sorry, I don't wanna be here"

then walk away with a smile and carry on

Feelings

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Thu, 01 May 2025 08:41:00 +0000

What fuels your work? For me, it's my feelings. When I feel happy, I feel like celebrating by making something amazing. When I feel sad, I make something silly so it can cheer me up. When I feel lost, I let myself get lost in the creation of something new. When I feel angry, I channel my anger into something calming, which is again, work. I guess, my work is my sanctuary, my playground, my therapy. I love designing and making things, and everything just stems from whatever feeling is inside me at that moment.

Hello, Feelings.

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Mon, 03 Mar 2025 20:25:00 +0000

Ten steps forward, eight steps back. For every progress I make, I get drawn back again. I spiral. But not that much this time. I wonder what it takes for me to not get affected at all. These triggers, they just come through the simplest forms. Through a small gesture. Through a simple line uttered. It hurts. But I am more aware now.

You and Me?

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 20:37:00 +0000

If this world were mine, everyone would be given equal opportunities.

If this world were mine, everyone would be kind and caring, loving and understanding.

If this world were mine, everyone would be allowed to choose.

If this world were mine, a smile would instantly change a bad person into good, just like that.

If this world were mine, love would be the answer to everything.

But this world is not mine. In fact, it's ours. So perhaps we can make it happen together.

Light

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Mon, 17 Feb 2025 16:52:00 +0000

I am warm,

like a sunshine.

Let me soak you in golden light,

because I can.

Because I am.

Ssshhh.

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 07:20:00 +0000

I am kind. I am enough. To the voices in my head that demand me to be more, more, more, I will not listen to. Not anymore.

Hhmm

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Mon, 13 Jan 2025 07:32:00 +0000

It's been a rather strange feeling this first 2 weeks of 2025. Somebody said some pretty mean things to me just on the last day of 2024, and the feeling has been lingering ever since. I am not one who gets easily bothered by externalities as such, but this time it went pretty deep into my heart. Some people will just never change. Their mean behaviour, no matter how much you fight it with kindness, will remain mean, or become even more. This time, I chose to still be kind, but to myself. I chose to leave.

New Year Reflections

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 21:21:00 +0000

"What's your next goal?" I don't know. Nowadays, I prefer to take things slowly and give things a really good, long thought. I don't feel the need to rush things just because.

Often times, I am embarassed to publish my good life because it feels truly, deeply insensitive to the reality of the world. To say "look at my amazing day" while people on the other side continue to die and live in suffering and all we can do is watch from afar...it kills me inside.

Negative energy is like air pollution. Nobody wants to breathe it, nobody wants to see it, nobody wants to smell it. When you bring negative air into a room, you are making other people suffer and causing secondhand stress. Don't be that person.

I know my worth and I truly don't need validation from others moreover strangers. If you say something mean to me, idgaf. I'll probably just smile back at you and wish you a good day.

Kindness is a rare character these days. Social media has made people become so self-absorbed, most of us are forgetting the importance of good manners and courtesy. If you wanna be a precious gem in a field of pebbles, be the kind person in the room.

Put down your phone, look at the other person in the eye, and learn to have a good conversation with others. Connection only happens when you are truly present.

"I'm scared of the future". You should be. We should be. But let that fear become your fuel to do good today. If you can't do your best today, at least do good. Be good.

Happy new year.

My Little S

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Fri, 27 Dec 2024 17:28:00 +0000

2024 means, it's been 10 years of having the honor to be Shahmeer's mother. Shahmeer, a capricorn just like me. Very sweet, very kind, smiles a lot, loves hugs, loves kisses, loves anything bread, loves gummy bears, loves fried chicken, loves onions, loves noodles and spaghetti. Hates crowds, hates loud noises, hates theme parks and fun rides, hates hand dryers in public toilets. Shahmeer is autistic, and non-verbal. What does that mean? It means, he does not have the ability to speak verbally. In the simplest words, he cannot talk. He also cannot comprehend sign language. Therefore, he communicates through pictures. He tells us what he wants by showing us a picture on his device. If he wants to eat fried chicken, he'll point at a picture of a fried chicken. He cannot read. He cannot write. He cannot express his emotions well, because he does not know what exactly is 'sad' or 'angry' or 'confused'. But I understand his feelings, most of the times. I can feel it. Sometimes I am completely just clueless. Having a child with autism has allowed me to see life from the most profound perspective. It has taught me strength, patience, empathy, compassion, and unconditional love. I am a person of zen, unbothered by daily life drama and non-sense chatters. I nurture good thoughts in my mind. Perhaps, because what I go through in a day is already extremely tough. Other problems in life feels like dust because at home, I am constantly lifting big rocks. I cannot see a life where Shahmeer lives his day without me, and therefore, we are tied together forever. We are a set, I come in a set. I will always be his protector for as long as I live, and I truly hope it will be for very long. Life is a mystery, life is a gift. Whatever life throws at you, it is what it is. Live with joy, and don't let problems or challenges stop you from living. To live is to live with a big heart and an open mind. Always be kind. 💖

Second Seconds

noreply@blogger.com (Diana Rikasari) — Thu, 05 Dec 2024 06:55:00 +0000

Here's to letting yourself have a second childhood, no matter your current age. Let free. Allow joy to enter your life like a child only knows. No comparisons, just imaginations. Laugh or giggle, sing or scream. Be loud. No boxes.