CintaSeks

From next top wobble to Next Top Model

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 17:52:00 +0000

Jess has boobs reduced for catwalk career

Boob job for top job ... Jess Abide, and right, blonde Stacey Haskins

A WANNABE in this year's Next Top Model has had a boob reduction in a bid to make it as a catwalk star.

Jessica Abide, 23, knew she had little chance of success with her whopping 32EE bust.

Host ... Elle Macpherson

So she had them reduced to 36D before dieting down to today's 34C — and she's never been happier.

Jessica told TV Biz: "I had this massive chest from aged about 11, and I was really tall and still growing. I got teased a lot at school, although I don't think people realised it was hurtful.

"I had surgery to reduce them at 18 and since then I've gone from a dress-size 14 to a ten. I still suffer from back pain a bit, but it's the best thing I've ever done."

Jessica shows off her figure in the obligatory nude shoot in tonight's episode of the Sky Living series hosted by modelling legend Elle Macpherson.

She is up against skinnier stunners such as Jade Thompson, 20, Stacey Haskins, 19, and Imogen Leaver also 19.

Fiery ... redhead Jade Thompson's nude shot

Jessica admitted: "I don't think I've reached my optimum goal weight yet. Elle is curvy too, although I was disappointed when I met her because her shoulders aren't as broad as mine!"

Jessica, of Tottenham, North London, also had to lie about her shoe size on her application form as the upper limit is usually eight — and she takes a ten.

Slender rival ... Imogen Leaver

She said: "I've got a lot going against me! A few people have said I could do with losing a few pounds, and that hurts."

She said Elle tells her she is "strong-looking". Jessica added: "I'm glad I can make an impression on people and stay in the contest, but afterwards... I'm not sure that will be enough.

"I might have to consider changing my weight or career."

Sex games and good sense

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 10:47:00 +0000

Sex games ... make sure they're right for you

WE talk about "sex games" and it sounds so jolly, but arguments about just what sexual behaviour is and isn't OK cast a big cloud over some couples' lives together.

In general, I would say that no form of sharing physical pleasure and satisfaction is wrong between a loving couple, as long as you are both joining in willingly and with genuine enjoyment, and as long as neither of you is being hurt, either physically or emotionally.

In other words, if all that is holding you back from enjoying oral sex is that your mother said it was disgusting, the fact is it's none of her business how you run your adult life. You can make your own decisions now.

However, it's rarely that simple. All of us have different lines we instinctively draw. What one of us finds erotic, another finds degrading. What one thinks of as stimulating and exciting, another rejects as pornographic and disgusting.

It helps enormously when trying to sort out this sort of issue as a couple, not to start taking moral standpoints and judging one another, but to see it as a practical problem you need to negotiate your way around.

First work out whether there are real grounds for ruling some things out – such as that they might hurt one of you or you would find it degrading. Be firm that you will not consider anything you feel deep inside yourself isn't for you.

Don't fall into the trap of trying to justify any objection. If you start trying to say it's wrong or dirty, then your partner will just attack every point you come up with.

What actually matters here is that you don't want to do it.

If you try only under pressure, then it's not a game, is it? It cannot be fun or pleasurable for you.

However, be willing at least to try sex games which are actually harmless but which you have been rejecting as embarrassing or too naughty.

If the rest of your relationship is strong then you may surprise yourself and find you are wonderfully turned on by the very thing you never dared try.

At the least, even if you don't enjoy everything you try, you may find you and your partner can enjoy enough variation to take the heat out of the conflict.

But let me emphasise again, all I have said so far applies to a couple who share a lasting and loving relationship.

If yours is a new or unhappy relationship then you could get seriously hurt or worse if you trust your partner too far.

Until you know someone well enough, you should follow the rules for safer sex – I can send you details if you're unsure – and not be out of range of calling for help until you are truly confident you can trust them with your safety.

Any partner who really cares for you will understand your caution.

Certainly, you should not agree to any games which include you being tied up, bound or gagged in any way, blindfolded or having anything put over your head unless you are with a partner in a really long-term relationship who you have no doubts cares for you deeply.

Couples who are committed to one another and do both enjoy that sort of sex play should still for safety agree a signal that shows when you've had enough and want to stop.

Serious conflicts about sex games usually come down to a problem in the relationship generally.

If you are with a partner who really loves you, they aren't going to want to upset you by pressing for out-of-the ordinary sex games that you find distasteful or worrying.

If this is causing a great deal of conflict between you, it's well worth making an appointment to see a counsellor – such as from Relate – to find out what is really at issue and how it can be resolved (0300 100 1234, www.relate.org.uk).

Don't worry that they will be shocked. Relate have special sex therapists and even their ordinary counsellors are specially trained and pretty unshockable.

Sometimes for example, men are excited by an idea and keep pressuring their partner to try something she doesn't fancy.

Because they are a little insecure, either sexually or emotionally, if she objects they set it up as almost a test of their love. "If you love me, you'll do this for me?" they say.

The reality is often that, if they do it, they will both be left feeling rather shocked and degraded by the experience.

This is especially true of sex games involving threesomes and foursomes, which are best avoided by any couple who aren't both sure it's totally right for them.

People can also be particularly attracted to sex games if they find their usual pattern of love-making disappointing.

Most couples need sometimes to vary their love-making patterns to stop it all just seeming too routine but, if you find you are going down the path of seeking out more and more sex games in order to experience any real pleasure and satisfaction, then chances are the real problem is that you don't actually open your inner self up to experience the full rich potential of making love in even quite ordinary ways.

You have a fear of real intimacy which holds you back from experiencing true passion.

This is something well worth exploring with a counsellor because it can transform your life.

The real problem may well be that you were hurt at an earlier stage in your life, probably as a child, so you keep up the barriers, even against those you love.

I hope this has helped you. If you have particular worries, do write to me and I will do my best to help.

You might like my free leaflets on Threesomes or Swinging and Swapping.

If you realise that your real problem is that your love life has become rather dull and/or infrequent, then you might like my free leaflets on How to Have Great Sex, How to Revive Your Sex Drive or 50 Ways to Add Sparkle to Sex.

Sex Tools For The Bedroom

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 21:13:00 +0000

Want some not-so-tame fun in the bedroom? Think sex toys. (No, not those kinky kinds.) Introduce these 7 everyday-item-turned-naughty-props to supercharge your sex life, say sexperts.

1. Red lipstick

You slick it on when you're going out on a date, so why not in the bedroom? "Lipstick draws attention to your mouth, and there is something about a painted mouth that just yanks a guy's chain," says Ellen Dugan, author of How To Enchant A Man. For a racy shade, try seductive scarlet lips; and softly plant kisses all over his body.

2. Sexy lingerie

Not only does wearing lingerie helps you look, feel and think sexy, it's also an eye candy for your partner! What turns men on the most? "A whopping 80 percent of men in a survey on sexual weapons declared the garter belt to be their number one choice," reveals Laura Corn, author of Passport To Pleasure. Garter belt and stockings get extra points because you can leave them on during sex!

3. Mirror

When it comes to sex, mirrors reflect eroticism. "Watching yourselves have sex in a mirror is almost like watching yourselves starring in your own erotic film, but you have more control and live action," explains Sari Locker, M.S., M.A., Ph.D., sexologist and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide To Amazing Sex.
Position your mirror so you can see the reflections from your bed -- it allows you to show off angles of your bodies to each other that you might not be able to see otherwise.

4. Racy note

Honesty is up there in the list of most important tools in the bedroom, but if you're shy it can be difficult to tell him exactly what you want. A sexy note slipped under his pillow or into his bedside drawer works like magic. Not sure how to get started? Try filling in the blanks of these useful phrases:
"I've always wanted to _____."
"I love it when you ______. Give me more."
"Let's try ______ tonight!"
"When I think about the way you ______, it turns me on."

5. High heels

Keep a pair of clean heels just for the bedroom! "They are flattering to the legs, and men love high heels," explains Dugan. Strut around wearing nothing but your wicked stilettoes and tell him he's been a 'bad' boy...

6. Silk scarf

Then, break out your scarf or his tie, which comes in handy for gently binding your guy's wrists together for some sensory fun. Or use it as a blindfold: "With one of you temporarily blinded, you will more than likely feel what your lover is doing to you that much more intensely," says Lou Paget, sex expert and author of 365 Days Of Sensational Sex.

7. Pillow

A well-placed pillow can help you add variety to old favorite sex positions. "For many women, lying in the missionary position with a few pillows under their butts provides the perfect pelvis tilt for G-spot stimulation -- and orgasm," says Laura Berman, M.D., sex educator and author of Real Sex for Real Women.

Why Every Woman Should Own A Vibrator

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 20:47:00 +0000

Once the stuff of seedy adult stores, sex toys have gained mainstream acceptance and are fast becoming a given in the bedroom. You see the "Rabbit" being immortalized in "Sex And The City"; you see the rising popularity of luxury playthings that cater to those with an eye for quality.
And if there's a sex toy every woman should own, it's the vibrator. There are several reasons to add this battery-operated friend to your boudoir drawer, but what it boils down to is allowing yourself to explore your own body.
"Vibrators complement our natural sexual impulses by allowing us to explore a variety of sensations," says Cathy Winks, co-author of The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex. By learning more about your sexual responses, you'll become familiar with your body and recognize your potential for sexual pleasure. And the best part? Vibrators never get tired.

What's more, vibes aren't just for solo use. Couples can have a lot of fun discovering each other's pleasure zones by using toys. "Many women report vibrators make them come more quickly as well as make their orgasms feel more intense," adds Winks. With a little experimentation, you'll find what works for you and your partner.

A guide to choosing a vibrator

So you're ready to go shopping for a vibe. To help you get started, here's a checklist of questions to consider:

1. What type of vibrator do you want?

Vibrators come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and materials. What are you looking for? A vibe for insertion or something to be used on the outside -- or both? Here's a breakdown on the most common types:

G-spot vibrators are curved and designed specifically to help you reach the G-spot (located about 2 inches inside the vagina on the front wall) which, when stimulated, produces powerful orgasms for some women.

Clitoral vibrators stimulate the clitoris, and are a good aide for women who can only achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation. They come in a range of sizes and shapes -- from the small bullet to the famous Hitachi Magic Wand -- and can be used solo, or with a partner during sex.

Rabbit vibrators are dual-action models that come equipped with a shaft for vaginal stimulation and a clitoral stimulator to give you that big O.

2. What size do you prefer?

If you're choosing a vibe for penetration, the next thing to consider would be the size or girth of the toy. If you're a beginner, you may find a smaller girth more comfortable. Also, do you prefer a toy that's portable? Then go for travel-size vibes.

3. How discreet do you want it to be?

If you're shy about stepping inside a sex store, try purchasing your toys online. Most online adult stores offer a private shopping experience -- plain packaging, generic company name on credit card statement, etc. Another question to ask yourself is how discreet do you want your toy to be? Some vibrators look naughty and are designed to emulate a real penis; others are discreet and don't look like a sex toy at all -- if you accidentally left it on the dresser, chances are no one's going to raise an eyebrow.

Waking up with Vanda -Vanda is very Cute Girl

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 11:33:00 +0000

Vanda

Beauties Babes Around Web

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 11:24:00 +0000

Kim Kardashian - Naked - Personally, I never liked so much Kim, but now...wow :) She is gorgeous

Kim Kardashian - Naked

Erin Ranch

Sunny Leone

Doorway Hotness

Amelia Talon

Madelyn Marie

Jessyca Lynn

Cali Logan Oil Bath

Gabriella

BUSTY TEEN TEGAN BRADY

Kirsty Corner

Melany Denyse

Perferct Blonde - Barbara

Why you should have sex everyday

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 06:54:00 +0000

Heard that song called Sexual Healing?

It's not just a metaphor. Sex can actually heal. It can heal your body and mind and also prevent lots of diseases.

Some say it's the first medicine ever known to man and it should be administered daily. Sounds too good to be true? Let's discover the five reasons to have sex each day.

Great form of exercise

Making love is a form of physical activity. During intercourse, the physiological changes in your body are consistent with a workout. You must have noticed that the respiratory rate rises, which means you get tired. Hence, you burn calories.

If you have sex three times a week for 15 minutes you'll burn about 7.500 calories in a year.

That's the equivalent of jogging 120km! Heavy breathing raises the amount of oxygen in your cells, and the testosterone produced during sex keeps your bones and muscles strong.

Pain relief
The "Honey, not today, I have a headache" cannot be an excuse any more.

During sex, both male and female bodies produce endorphins, hormones that act as weak painkillers.

A study conducted by reknowned sex theraphist Gina Ogden showed that during sexual stimulation and especially during orgasm, we don't feel pain.

If she finds another excuse, remind her that sex is good for her entire reproductive system, because it trains the PC muscle, which keeps the reproductive organs in shape.

In women, sex can also increase fertility, postpone the menopause and relieve PMS symptoms.

Prostate protection Most of the fluid you ejaculate is secreted by the prostate gland. If you stop ejaculating, the fluid stays in the gland, which tends to swell, causing lots of problems.

Regular ejaculation will wash those fluids out and ensure the well being of your prostate until old age. Problems may also occur when you suddenly change the frequency of ejaculations.

Prevents EDFifty per cent of men older than 40 suffer from erectile dysfunctions and all young men fear the moment when they won't be able to get it up any more. The best medicine against impotence is...sex.

An erection keeps the blood flowing through your penile arteries, so the tissue stays healthy. Plus, doctors compare an erection to an athletic reflex: the more you train the more capable you are to perform.

Stress relief
It's a scientific fact: sex can be a very effective way of reducing stress levels.

During sex your body produces dopamine, a substance that fights stress hormones, endorphins, aka "happiness hormones" and oxytocin, a desire-enhancing hormone secreted by the pituitary gland.

Hey, Guys,I bet now that you type with your left hand cuz your right is busy

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 10:26:00 +0000

Carla

Sunny Leone

Anne Krystel

Ashley

Carmen and Ivana

Jenny

Naughty but Damn Hot Babysitter

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 22:46:00 +0000

Heidi - Babysitter - Waiting for you inside

Michele In Pictures - Fresh and Cute Face

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 19:52:00 +0000

Michele Haidi

TO BE CONTINUED ...

Kristyna - Beautiful Girl Next Door

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 19:26:00 +0000

I am inside, come in, I'm waiting for you !

The Best “She’s On Top” Positions

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 17:43:00 +0000

And what a motion good sex can be! We’ve already discussed the benefits of a few positions where you get to be on top, but most couples agree that some of the most pleasurable sex they’ve shared has been when the woman is on top.

I like being in control – I know what feels good, so I enjoy being able to control the angle, speed, and techniques by riding a guy (and I’d have to say I don’t think those men have minded either!). When she’s on top, she can discover certain positions that stimulate her G-spot and/or her clitoris which, in turn, will inevitably get you off too.

So here are the best “she’s on top” positions to explore and enjoy with your partner.

Cowgirl

The most tried-and-true girl-on-top configurations, the cowgirl has lots of variations and provides almost instant satisfaction. She can sit facing you and gently move up and down, you can have her lie down on your chest with her knees bent alongside you – a very intimate and hot position, or she can lean back and put her hands behind her and then spread her legs as wide as possible – this is a major G-spot stimulator!

Help to guide her by placing your hands on her hips. Encourage her to do a circular motion (similar to what Cosmo refers to as a “hula” motion) so that you’re rubbing against every nook and cranny of her nether regions.

Giddyup!

Reverse cowgirl
By simply turning our backs to you, we’re given a whole new set of pleasure points. I’m a big advocate of this she’s-on-top position – the reverse cowgirl allows for deep, straight-on penetration while she sits upright on top of you, and if you’re an ass guy you’ll love the view.

Instead of keeping your legs slightly parted, try straightening your legs instead for a new sensation.

YEEHAW!

Kneeling version of reverse cowgirl
Somewhat like doggy-style, she kneels over you while facing the opposite direction and thrusts into you. Nothing will excite you more than feeling yourself gliding in and out of her, rubbing her G-spot with each movement.

If she’s up to it (which I always am), grab and even spank her ass while she rides you.

Sitting
If I’m experiencing real sexual energy with a guy, I love this intimate she’s-on-top position. With her back to you, she’ll crouch down on her feet and lower herself into your lap while you’re sitting up. The close skin-on-skin contact of your body against hers will be a huge turn-on (pun intended), and you can keep your hands busy by caressing her breasts or stimulating her clitoris while she moves up and down on top of you.

Thigh Master
Not to go Cosmo-crazy, but I found this position in their magazine awhile back and have used it many times – much to me and my partners’ delight! You lie on your back and bend one leg. She mounts you reverse-cowgirl style and straddles you sideways, with your bent knee between her legs – this gives her something to help her balance as well as use for leverage.

Techniques To Excite Her (Without Touching Her)

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 15:26:00 +0000

Sex isn’t always about the rubbing and petting – it’s about that connection, at least for us ladies. While it’s true that sex can sometimes be just about the physicality of it all, women find it easier to engage in steamy sex when they feel that they’re connecting with their partner on a higher level. We thrive off of non-verbal cues. A quick wink or sly smile can make our panties wet (it’s the truth!)

Be vocal
Speak up! Tell her what you’re fantasizing about, what you love that she does to you, what you love to do to her. Hearing these devious acts put into actual words can be a major turn-on (just plan on what you’re going to say before you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. And don’t be too smutty, unless your wife is that kinda gal, like moi!)

Act it out
Feeling turned on? Touch yourself while you catch her gaze across the room. Give her a mischievous wink. Lick or bite your lip ever so slightly.

When I know a guy is turned on just by looking at him, it gets my juices flowing. So don’t be shy to capitalize on these cues.

A naughty message
Busy lives translate into not having a lot of time for foreplay and to build up the momentum. I get that. So why not send your wife a dirty text, email, or even picture? A guy I was seeing once sent me on my phone an up-close shot of his soldier at full attention while I was at work – I don’t have to tell you how quickly I raced home that afternoon!

Go back to basics
Remember when you and your wife were first dating – there was all that lovey dovey stuff, with the hand-holding, the long gazes, the little expressions of affection? We thrive off of that. Try and recall the simple things you would do to get your wife all smitten, like a look across a room, and go back to the basics.

Sometimes, a guy being vulnerable enough to wink at me is the thing that sounds off bells in my head (not to mention elsewhere).

Whisper in her ear

A woman’s ears are highly sensitive to a variety of sensations, so the sound of you quietly relaying a message to her along with the warm feeling of your breath will send shivers down her spine. Afterward, gently blow on her neck. Then, well, brace yourself!

The Girl: The possessed advantages

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 20:59:00 +0000

This is most beautiful scene - Love

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 20:27:00 +0000

Strawberry forever - Beautiful Ladies

TO BE CONTINUED...

From the Playboy with Love

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 19:42:00 +0000

Melany Denyse

Busted: Website catches out fellas who have a cheeky look

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 18:48:00 +0000

Eyes to front ... fella is caught taking sneaky look

CHEEKY fellas sneaking a peek at girls' assets have been caught on camera — and exposed to the world on a website.

The snaps show the leering blokes with their eyes where they should not be.

Unfortunately for them they have been shamed on acidcow.com.

And we bet the ladies in the pictures are not breast pleased.

Have a look at a selection of the snaps below.

He'll be on curve-few ... lad makes eyes at girl's chest

Not the breast timing ... another one who looked at his girl's boobs when the camera clicked

Boobie trap ... wonder what this woman said when she saw her man's eyes wander to her assets

Knork it out ... blatant guy stares at beach girl's chest

What’s your problematic relationship type?

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 13:08:00 +0000

So you’re having problems in your relationship. It’s a tough one, I know. What I also know is that they can be fixed. With a few couple savvy tricks, you will be able to overcome them and enjoy a peaceful and rewarding relationship.

Before telling you what exactly you should be doing, it’s important that you find out the type of your problematic relationship. There are four major types, and they are all described in minute detail bellow.

See which one is yours and what you should do to better solve the problems you are facing.

1. Battle of the innocents. You are both inexperienced and wrapped up in your little ideal world, unaware of what’s happening outside. You love each other and think that this is enough for your relationship to flourish. You rarely talk about the things that don’t work out so good between you, convinced that your strong bond is going to fix everything without you even bothering to take a stand. In reality though, things are not so pink and joyful. You do have inconsistencies, but you don’t acknowledge them either to your own selves, or to one another. The problem with this scenario is that when it does come the time to face your problems, the disillusionment is greater and the spell is broken in more pieces than necessary. This type of relationship, sort of exclusivist- we against the world- thing, is very dangerous, because when it breaks down, it leaves deep, rooted marks.

What to do to fix it: Stop idealizing your love life and start being true to yourself and to what you really feel. So what it’s not perfect? It’s not the end of a relationship. The late Kurt Cobain used to say that he’s rather “be hated for what he is than be loved for what he is not.” It’s the same here: it’s better to set things straight and accept that not everything is as idyllic as in your little bubble of happiness.

2. Idol and admirer. Another type of relationship that can signal trouble is the one between a “superstar” and its respective “idol”. The scenario is fairly common: one of you is the center of attention, has a bubbly, excessively special personality, while the other one is its more humble counterpart. Let’s say you are in the admirer position. Your girlfriend has a great career, lots of friends, a great character and numerous other positive traits which usually ensure her stealing the spotlight every time the two of you are together. Your life is not as sparkling and eccentric as hers, and you are grateful to hang around her, the popular, much adored and glamorous girl. The problem with this is that, at the end of the day, you might start to feel a little insecure, a little vulnerable.

What to do to fix it: If you are in the admirer position, acknowledge that your partner is just a human being, and that you are both equal when it comes to your positions within the relationship. If you are in the idol position, let your partner know, from time to time, that she is your idol too, and that her qualities impress you more than anything.

3. Cat and dog. You should be able to recognize this one, because it is the most common relationship type I have seen so far in my years as a sex therapist. It’s simple: the base of your relationship is your constant fighting and bickering. You go at each other from small things, like where to go out on a Saturday night or where to spend the summer holidays. Your fighting is never serious enough to end the relationship, but you are slowly cracking its base, getting further and further away from each other. You are always feeling that you’re on the verge of breaking up, of ending this indefinite cycle of contradictory feelings, but when the time comes, you’re too afraid to do it and you accept thing as they are.

What to do to fix it: Sit down with your partner and have a long and peaceful (!) chat. It’s time for the two of you to get to the bottom of all your constant bickering. Why does she feel the need to raise her voice at you? Why do you get angry when she forgets to wake you up? Find out what is really bothering you and work together to clear everything out.

4. Master and slave. Power struggles! Tough to end them, tough to live with them. In this type of relationship, one of the members has a palpable influence over the other (be it financial or emotional). The other knows it, but accepts it. The problem with it is that, as in the case of the idol and admirer relationship type, there comes a point when the “slave” says “enough” and walks out of the relationship. Let’s say that in this scenario you are the master and your girlfriend is the slave. You are the mature, self assured, powerful individual and she’s your little apprentice and student. You might find this position comfortable and even rewarding, but she’s not. She’s struggling between the need to leave the relationship and the desire to stay, because of the comfort of being taken care of.

What to do to fix it: Most of the times, the person being in the master position doesn’t even realizes it. You might think you are helping her by always offering advice and support, and you might not be aware of the fact that she’s feeling controlled. If in the midst of fighting she says things like, “you’re always trying to tell me what to do”, or “I’m not at your mercy, I have my own life”, tell her about what you read here and assure her about your honest intentions to make her feel better in her own skin.

10 Myths about relationships & sex that are holding you back

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 13:03:00 +0000

Most of the problems that appear during the development of your couple are generated by the myths and preconceived ideas that you grow with in your life. You learn that you should not do that, you should not feel that, and, in time, these lead to the creation of barriers in your happiness.

In order for you to fully enjoy your relationship, and make it flourish as it should, you must first pinpoint what exactly is holding you back. I created a list of the myths and preconceptions that create problems in your love life, together with explanations on how to make things better for you and your partner. Let’s start fixing!

1. In order for a relationship to truly work, you have to find the one

We all know this one, the widespread narrative that states that there is a person on this planet with whom you are 100% compatible. Once you’ll find this person, the chemistry between you two will be incredible, you’ll fall deeply in love and you’ll live a happy life together, never having any doubts concerning the validity of your relationship. The problem with this pretty picture is that, unfortunately it doesn’t hold true to reality. The fact is, finding The One is a matter of chance, such a perfect relationship, while it may occur, is not to be considered a general rule, because, let’s be honest, it’s a rare bird to catch. Accept your relationship, as flawed is it may appear at first sight, and try to work with what you have. Make decisions based on your own emotions, beliefs, experiences and perception, not on an ideal image that you’ll never reach.

2. Love & Sex should be like one sees in the movies: intense and passionate.

Sex involving two partners shouldn’t have anything to do with the Angels from Victoria’s Secret catalogs, Megan Fox, or any TV/movie love/romance/sex scene that once impressed you so deeply that it’s actually become a part of your sexual repertoire. Sex doesn’t have to be loud, it doesn’t have to be graceful, and you don’t have to roll your eyes to the back of your head to show your pleasure. Sex is much more comfortable and exciting when you don’t impose the rest of the world and its judgments on the act. If you interrupt the sex act to make sure the two of you look like Angelina and Banderas in Original Sin, you can kiss your orgasm goodbye. Sex is such an intimate and personal experience, and it is so good that things are like this, that it’s no use for you to burden it with old fashioned and untrue cinematic myths.

3. Every emotional issue within a relationship has an answer

Emotional issues can’t be solved as easily as logical problems and the mere will of not having them anymore is not enough. Treating emotional problems as strictly logical entities has been the downfall of many relationships because it creates a very wide gap in empathy and support, often leading to sharp feelings of alienation, loneliness, and low self-esteem. If you’re hungry, it’s easy, you eat something, but if your heart and soul are hungry for more intimacy and connection, how can you feed them? Accept that some emotional problems take longer to solve and don’t demand immediate solutions, you’ll only build up frustrations for the both of you.

4. Thinking about someone outside the relationship in a sexual way is a grave betrayal.

Humans have sexual organs and an evolutionary history of some 500,000 years, both of which “program” us to seek out sexual contact with other humans if these humans “unlock” certain chemicals in our heads. In simpler words, it’s only human to get attracted sexually by another person, and to deny the existence of this fact or to think of it as a grave betrayal to the sanctity of a relationship will quickly lead to misunderstandings within the couple. A more realistic and healthy strategy is to recognize that this doesn’t count as cheating in no way, unless an actual skin on skin contact takes place.

5. You should live “happily ever after”

It’s not that I don’t wish you for this to come true, don’t get me wrong, but I think it is more realistic to assume that problems and difficulties will occur in your relationship and in your life and work on developing suitable means of solving or alleviating those difficulties, otherwise they will catch you off guard. You know that saying, “better to be safe than sorry”? It is somewhat applicable here. If you start off your relationship thinking that milk and honey will come your way, every relationship problem you run into will be one more step toward disillusionment, bitterness, jadedness, getting “broken,” and “giving up.”

6. If your partner would change this one thing about her, your problems would be solved.

Have you noticed how, in a couple, whatever happens, whatever conflict arises, it always have to be somebody’s fault, the result of said person’s way of being and behavior? And how, instead of both members of the relationship considering themselves active participants to the problem and working together to fix it, the one that is thought to be “guilty” is practically forced to give up that side of his/her personality that is supposed to have caused the problem? “If only he weren’t so clumsy/indifferent to my needs/distant”, “If only she weren’t so high maintenance/bickering/cleaning freak”, etc. The thing is that those traits of character that cause problems also nurture positive attitudes, therefore, eliminating said traits you may end up causing more problems. On the other hand, the person being constantly blamed will end up feeling persecuted, which will only lead to more “errors” and fights. The definition of one hell of a vicious cycle.

7. What you did before the relationship is off limits now.

Treating someone’s past as if it didn’t exist or as if it hasn’t had an effect on one’s life is stifling, shaming, and can lead to lying and covering up. Not recommended.

8. Being in a relationship “shouldn’t be this hard”.

Being in a long term monogamous relationship, after some period of time, can produce difficulties that any two people on the earth, regardless of their IQ or emotional capacity or love and respect for each other will find hard to get through. That is completely normal and shouldn’t be questioned.

9. Being victorious in an argument is important.

I’ve had a lot of disagreements with boyfriends where I completely destroyed them on a logical basis but I was left with the same negative feeling I had at the beginning of the fight. Taking someone’s statement about how they feel and then proving it illogical or reminding them that they said the opposite last week, that it’s not consistent with what they said that one time, really does nothing in the way of problem solving. I think that when you get to the point of simply trying to logically defeat someone in an argument, you aren’t even concerned with reconciling, you’re just concerned with winning, which won’t do anything for the relationship.

10. Concepts such as betrayal, sex, happiness, are of black/white nature.

If things were like that, we wouldn’t be here, trying to make sense of the tangled world of couple problems. When it comes to matters of the heart, nothing is black and white, but rather of rainbow of colors and nuances. As soon as you understand that, and the fact that communication is crucial for making sense of what different things and behaviors really mean, you’ll be fine.

What your girlfriend wants from you, but doesn’t dare ask

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 12:57:00 +0000

For a relationship to be truly fulfilling, there are some things that your girlfriend wants, and thinks she deserves, from you. No, this has nothing to do with diamonds rings or a trip to the Bahamas. You’ll be surprised to see how un-complicated these wishes are and how, with just one stroke of will, she can become your biggest fan and introduce you to her girlfriends as the best boyfriend ever. Take a peak!

Inordinate amounts of love demonstrated with actions, not just words. That means calling when you say you will, holding her hand when she is sick, helping her move the furniture around, etc.
A little kitchen savvy. You don’t have to be Gordon Ramsay, but having some culinary skills beyond beans and toast will certainly make her life easier when she has a long day at work and she comes home to find the table is already set.
Someone she can trust. If she feels she can trust you, she won’t behave clingy and needy when you’re out with the boys. If you break her trust, nothing will be the same again. Honoring this should be just as important for you as it is for her.
A grown-up. You shouldn’t sulk for hours to get your own way. Being able to put yourself in her shoes, and trying to see things through her eyes, even when it’s hard, shows her you’re making an effort to build a bridge between your way of thinking and hers.
To feel sexy and satisfied. There’s nothing better than a man who knows his way around her girlfriend’s erogenous zones like he’s packing a GPS. Eye contact, hugging and kissing never gets boring for a woman.
To be accepted- curved and all. Loving a real woman means loving real curves- and she does put on a couple of kilos, you love her enough not to mention the words “muffin” and “top” in the same sentence- or the same week.
Respect. This comes in many forms, including listening to her opinions and never putting her down or cheating on her. A good relationship needs to be a team effort- you’re in it together and you are on each other’s side when it counts.
Mutual appreciation. John Gottman, professor of psychology at the University of Washington, says that in order for a couple’s relationship to thrive, there needs to be at least five compliments to every criticism. (16)
Random romantic gestures. Guys who understand this formula, P = H (presents- no matter how big or small- equal happiness), truly understand women. Random romantic gestures can be made on any budget. Whether it’s a pack of jelly snakes at the end of a long day, or jewelry from Tiffany & Co for a special occasion, it shows you are thinking of her and her happiness, even when you are not next to her.
A reasonable division of household tasks. It’s not 1958, so if you’re living together, you should know where the loo brush is. If she wants to set up a fair and equal household work dynamic, don’t make a face. Partnership means dividing the work- whether it’s household related or not.
To be humored. Watching reality TV, eating your hot chips instead of ordering her own and talking about her friends’ lives constantly is something she enjoys and is just part of the package. So love her harmless quirks.
Not to have to deal with “harmless” flirting. If you add the girl you lost your virginity with to your Facebook friend list, then give her your number to “catch up”, don’t be surprised if she gets upset. Flirting, even when it’s done via the internet, it’s neither acceptable nor negotiable.
Understand that she finds vulnerability sexy… and that she thinks it’s ok that someone’s not invincible. Expressing your emotions effectively (even the tough ones, like sadness and jealousy) and revealing who you are beyond the tough manly exterior makes her love you even more.
To have the world’s greatest PR man, and to be as proud and as vocal of her achievements as she is of yours. She loves nothing more than blowing your trumpet (when you’ve reached a goal or won a prize). She loves and deserves words of support and congratulations, too.
Not to be shouted at. Don’t ever shout at her. She’ll get scared and freak out. Be reasonable, make her feel there’s always a solution for every problem- whatever the circumstance. Yes, she is an independent woman, but every girl secretly loves to feel secure and protected- especially by a kind, strong guy.
Plenty of uninhibited public displays of affection. Small physical acts of affection in public show that you’re together, and that you’re comfortable with just about anyone knowing. Whether that’s holding hands, putting your hand on her leg at the bar, or putting your arm around her while you’re spending the afternoon visiting her parents, it tells everyone around that you are in a relationship.
For you to be the sunshine in the storms of life. Whether that’s a cuddle when her boss has had a go at her, supporting her when she has to stand up to someone intimidating, or not going nightclubbing with your mates when you have to stay at home to nurse a broken foot. In short, you’re just there for her.

The healing powers of communication

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 12:51:00 +0000

Good communication within a couple is a pretty complicated thing. Everyone seems to understand what communication is per se, yet few people are really good at it.

Books and dictionaries of all sorts and kinds define communication as “the dynamic process through which people try to convey meaning to one another”. Since language is the form of communication specific to us human beings, we tend to rely solely on it when we communicate, which is not really constructive.

Communication often has less to do with the words you use and more to do with their underlying meaning. We talked in the previous chapter about the importance of non-verbal communication, without which messages aren’t always received as they were meant to in the first place. Think about the times your girlfriend or wife shouted angrily at you: “It’s not what you said; it’s how you said it.” I bet you didn’t know what she was talking about.

Yes, the power of language is immense. Communicating correctly, using nice words to make your partner feel that you care about her, helps you both reconnect to your inner feelings of affection, and insure the process of bonding. Simple sentences like, “You’re gorgeous”, “You get prettier every day”, “I love talking to you”, “You make my life better”, etc., help you cultivate the quality of affection and kindness, but words are not all there is when it comes to communication.

The way you communicate influences how close and intimate you get with your partner. The first three types will have negative effects on your couple life, and soon your relationship will grow devitalized and the goal of closeness is not going to be met.

As George Bernard Shaw pointed out, “the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place”. You might think that you’re doing plenty of talking, but the question is, are you doing it the right way? Or the right moment? Dr. Laurence J. Peter said at one time something that made me smile, but also get concerned: “Speak when you are angry- and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.”

It is important that you follow a few basic rules in order to truly get your partner to understand what you are trying to say. To help you, I’ve described them bellow.

Rock solid principles for good communication

a) Be empathetic. Basically, this means to see things from your partner’s perspective also. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot pointed this out in one of their analysis on couple bliss: “Research has shown that 90% of our struggles in relationships would be resolved if we did nothing more than see problems from our partner’s perspective. Empathy is the heart loving.” If your partner feels that you understand her and that you are willing to work each issue as a team, she’ll feel safer and more secure when sharing things with you.

b) Be a good listener. Listening is the language of love, popular culture says. If you’ll do more listening and less lecturing, you’ll be more productive as far as healthy communication is concerned. After all, we have two ears and just one mouth for a pretty good reason. So, whenever you feel like interrupting your partner in order to say what you think, stop and just listen till the end. The conversation will run smoother this way and you’ll end up getting along better. I know that it is not easy, especially when you think you have the right answer and if you’d just let it out in the open the whole problem will go away, but it’s the constructive thing to do if you want to build trust and intimacy in your couple. If you want to know specifically how to be a good listener, check out my list of The Seven Qualities of a Great Listener:

I sincerely want to listen to her point of view
I am willing to accept her feeling and emotions, whether I consider them wrong or not
I don’t always want to be right
I’m willing to develop a non-judgmental attitude
I’m making eye contact and relying on the soothing powers of touch
I’m showing appreciation of the fact that she’s trusting me with her confidences
I will not only listen, but be supportive all the way, for as long as she needs me

c) Express your expectations. If you’re not telling your partner what exactly you want from her, how is she going to know? We’re not mind readers here! Don’t expect your partner to just “get it” and behave like you’d want her to behave. Be specific about your expectations, tell her exactly what you are looking for. Clarity and honesty is key when it comes to good communication. If you are courageous enough to speak the truth, you might be surprised about the positive outcome of your act. Bill Hybels said it best: “It takes an enormous amount of courage to say to your partner, ”.

The secret to more intimate sex

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 18:01:00 +0000

An important outcome of having intimate sex is emotional safety. If you feel like your partner understands you and you understand her, you are more prone to showing your true feelings. And if you show your true feelings, closeness and intimacy on all levels is in your pocket.

But what is, really, intimacy? Most people seem to define intimacy as two people engaged in hot and passionate sex, or something very close to this. But the truth is the experience of physical connection between two people is only the culmination of all that is intimate between them. Intimacy is much more than that.

Intimacy is an attitude. It’s how you get along all the time, not only when you’re making love. It has to be continuous in order to be fulfilling, and if you truly want to enjoy great quality lovemaking, the hours outside the bedroom should be spent with the same degree of closeness.

Fortunately, achieving that is not impossible. I have a few tricks up my sleeve that I am willing to share with you. You can thank me later.

Exercises for opening to intimacy.

I call this: emotional workout for couples! What, did you think that bonding happens just like that, without any exterior influence? No, sir! There are plenty of things that you can do to strengthen your relationship. These exercises will help you become relaxed in the presence of each other, and attuned to your heart rhythms. They involve a lot of touching, because I think it has a really calming and soothing effect. Let’s get to work!

Spooning. Lie on your sides with your legs bent so that you fit together like two spoons in a drawer. Once you are snuggled together, lie still, letting go of any tensions, and try not to talk or move too much. Breathe heavily and rhythmically and listen to your partner’s breathing at the same time. Close your eyes and imagine getting out of your own body, letting it sink into the bed. You’ll feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You can choose to spoon either fully clothed or in the nude, but refrain from sexual intercourse. This exercise is just meant to bring the two of you closer together.
Eye to eye. Lie together on the bed, or whatever feels comfortable for you, and look into each other’s eyes. Don’t talk, just watch each other in silence. It might feel uneasy at first, you might be shy about it, or feel exposed, out in the open, but it’s a great exercise for really bonding on a subconscious level also. Doing this, you and your partner will soon rediscover the richness of your unspoken communication and the way your eyes speak to each other without uttering one single word.
Intimate embrace. Sit with your back against a wall and have her put her head on your chest and wrap her arms around you. Share this embrace for ten minutes. Close your eyes, listen to each other’s breathing, feel each other’s warmth, feel your hearts beat. She can pass her fingers up and down your back, while you can stroke her shoulders, neck, face and hair. This exercise sends the message of being mutually taken care of, which is a great deal as far as intimacy is concerned.
Pressure yourselves. Lie on your back on the bed and have your girlfriend or wife lower herself gradually on top of you, from head to toe. Don’t worry, it’s not uncomfortable, and it’s surprisingly efficient. Holding her whole body against yours, you’ll feel like you are in control, and she’ll feel like she can depends on you no matter what. The benefits are psychological, but also physical, because this position is extremely relaxing for the spine.

Have a solidly scrumptious week,

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 17:57:00 +0000

Want some advice on how to bring the oomph back into your sex life, and your relationship? I know that so far you were mostly told ways to become more intimate with your partner, to connect on so much more ways than ever before, but that doesn’t mean that this is all you have to do in the bedroom.

Intimate sex has room for creativity also! You don’t have to settle for a lot of caressing and languid, romantic kissing. The hot and bothered sex that I’m sure it’s always lingering in your mind has to be present also.

That’s why I’m giving you here a few alternatives to the traditional “rules” of making love, for you to spice up the action in the bedroom and beyond. Start applying them tonight!

1. Do it in the shower, not in the bedroom

A shower is not only meant to get you clean. It also has some pretty sensuous possibilities, and women often fantasize about being “caught” soaping themselves. So, if you want to see her smile, just step into the shower and ask, “May I join you?” By giving her some wet, warm and soapy attention- don’t jump right from the start with intercourse- she’ll feel appreciated and cared for, not merely a sex object.

2. Touch her other places

Couples that have been together for any length of time can fall into patters of lovemaking. That is, they caress one another in similar ways each time they make love.

Surprise your partner next time you are in bed by touching her everywhere but between her legs or on her nipples, at least until she asks you to. Instead, use your hands anywhere and everywhere else. There are plenty of erotic zones on a woman’s body, and they surely need more attention.

3. Try some aural sex

Talking dirty to your partner at the right moment can be extremely hot. Before you do it though, make sure you are both comfortable with it. Not all women want their partners puff them up with porn borrowed sex talk. However, some honest vocal appreciation of her and the sex you share together can be very nice. Let her know how she makes you feel, what you want her to do to make you feel good, what you enjoy about her body. She’ll appreciate your openness, especially since men are known to not being that vocal in the bedroom.

4. Oral sex… and that’s it.

How about an evening when you’re allowed to use only your mouth in the process of lovemaking. This may seem like a challenge, but a little variety didn’t hurt anyone. So, the next time you are making love, touch each other only with your mouths. Keep your hands away. Kiss, lick, nibble, and suck all over each other. Let your mouth roam where your hands would otherwise.

5. Pick a date night

For some couples, there is a question of when to make love. If one is in the mood, but the other isn’t or the other way around, you might end up fighting and adding pressure or doubt to your relationship. An excellent solution is to pick one night a week that is date night no matter what. As an experiment, agree on one day of the week that the two of you will meet for sex. Don’t let anything interfere, not even a bad mood, because each of you has to able to depend on that meeting.

6. Pay attention

Everyone loves attention; yet we are often self-conscious about asking for it. One of the simplest ways that you can give attention to the lady in your life is to pay attention to her hair. It may seem a simple thing to you, but she will love it if you offer to brush her hair. A little bit of pampering feels really good. For a woman, so much of what is sexy is not actual sex but the ceremonies between men and women, before and after sex.

7. Cuddle first

Couples that have been together for awhile sometimes lose touch with the simpler physical moments of their beginning. Recapture the simpler time in your relationship, when this kind of physical communication was important. Both of you will benefit from this return to some of your earliest forms of lovemaking, when just holding one another was charged with electricity. Sometimes the best way to heat up your sex life is actually slowing it down, and a few minutes of cuddling before you turn the pleasure thermometer is a great way to do that.

How to create the proper atmosphere for sensual sex

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 17:51:00 +0000

Sensuality is what distinguishes pure carnal sex from a loving, intimate bonding between two people. Touching, caressing, holding, and kissing are as important to lovemaking as the act of intercourse.

Sensuality pertains to fully experiencing all of our senses, not just sensations in our genitals. Many parts of the body are sensual and can contribute to your enjoyment of sex. Although there is a great enjoyment in the orgasmic experience, you might be missing out on other sources of enjoyment by not giving pleasure to yourself and your partner with other forms of stimulation.

Setting the mood is the backbone of being intimately romantic and creating exciting variety in your love life, and it involves at least three different aspects of your lovemaking.

a) Get ready mentally

This refers to the importance of using your mind and will to fantasize about sex. For example, during a busy day, you should stop and think about sex and allow yourself to feel sexual and ready for action. However, thinking about sex doesn’t mean playing pornographic scenarios in your mind over and over again. You should fantasize about your partner, and set goals about what you’d want sex to be the next time you’ll have it.

b) Be there emotionally

This means creating an atmosphere in which you can be rested, excited, and warmly intimate. Good sex is based on an emotional mood and atmosphere. It involves enjoying adventure, being stress-free, and feeling in love enough to focus on your sexual feelings. Great lovemaking is more about who you are rather than simply what you do.

c) Create the perfect intimate ambiance

This means altering your surroundings. It involves creating an environment that enhances and stimulates sexual arousal and meaningful, exciting interaction. Ideas abound in this domain, all you have to do is choose what best suits you. My advice: create a romantic ambiance by putting to work all your five senses. It’s nothing short of simple!

a) Sight. Experiment to lighting and find ways to add variety. I know you love to see her naked body, but you can enjoy the visual aspect of lovemaking in numerous other ways. Flickering candlelight gives ambiance and a pleasant scent, while leaving the bathroom door cracked may give just enough light to feel less exposed (if she’s not the strongest supporter of sex with the lights on), but visually connected. The partially covered is often more erotically stimulating than the fully exposed. The use of mirrors is also an excellent idea, since I know you’re big funs of watching what you’re doing in bed… while you are doing it! Make the bedroom aesthetically appealing to the eyes. The idea here is that you’re both yourselves and ok with what is happening in the bedroom. Be open and playful. Go slow. Setting the mood is not just something you want to get over with as quick as you can, to move on to the main event. Tease and revel in your sexual feelings that arise from the visual stimulation. And know that we’re talking about visual stimulation, how about you stimulated yourself by dressing her up as a sexy vixen? I bet that would get you in the mood in an instant! Buy her a set of sexy lingerie and have her strut in it in front of you, on the rhythms of your favorite songs.

b) Smell. Scents are an exciting part of creating sensual mood. The mind connects sensations such as the smell of perfume to erotic arousal and experiences. Your girlfriend’s perfume may be paired in your mind with her total self and especially her femininity and sexuality. Just a scent of it and you feel more in love and become quickly aroused. The sense of smell is extremely powerful, so don’t hesitate to use all sorts of candles, incense, and scented lotions as props to add sensual pleasure to the act of making love. Use them to treat your partner with a nice massage, stroking and caressing her body until both of you get hugely turned on.

c) Taste. Taste is not always associated with creating sexual moods, but it is a stimulating form of sexuality. The mouth, tongue, and lips are erogenous zones with many nerve endings and particular sensuality about them. Lingering over a sumptuous mean is a very sexual experience. Candlelight and conversations while having coffee and deserts are great mood setters. In the privacy of your bedroom, feeding each other food and placing favorite tastes in strategic places can be very erotic. Pair this with a good cunnilingus and she’s ready to go. There are also flavored lubricants that can be used in lovemaking and add an interesting twist to your sensual experience.

d) Hearing. Soft music creates marvelous atmosphere! Dare her to a slow-dance in your living room. Better yet, do it in the nude! Pairing music that expresses the love and commitment you feel for each other with your arousal and excitement will make lovemaking more intimate than ever. Also, dare and use dirty talking and uninhibited groans and squeals of pleasure during your sexual session.

e) Touch. Don’t neglect to employ a wide variety of sensual touching experiences. Women hate to be stimulated in the same way. Try gently rubbing an ice cube over sensitive areas while watching closely the way her body responds to it. Use anything you have at hand: satin gloves, a silk scarf, a piece of fur. But nerve endings and tactile senses involve more than just touching with your fingertips. Try lightly blowing hot air over her chest, stomach or genital area. Also, breathing gently into her ear can be profoundly erotic.

P.S. If you want a much simpler definition of sensual sex, the answer is in yourself. Just think about the most awesome, tingling, hot sex you’ve ever had. Think about the way the sheets smelled, the wonderful sensation of her hands caressing your body, the kisses you gave each other, how she moaned when she orgasmed or how you cuddled in silence, after the deed was done. This is sensual sex- sex with the whole body alert, hungry for deeper and deeper feelings and sensations.

On the Map: Fingering her Favourite Spots

noreply@blogger.com (CintaSeks) — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 17:44:00 +0000

A woman’s body isn’t just mysterious if you haven’t had the chance to get right up close and personal with her precious parts, but because it is so changeable. The month-long cycle that governs your wife’s attitudes and arousal makes her a whole new woman at each step along the way. While she may be incredibly receptive to your touch when she is ovulating, a short two weeks later she might be too sensitive for even the lightest play.

Try-Cycle

It can be hard to plan your sex life around a menstrual cycle that you don’t understand, so get ready for everything you need to know to mix and match your plans with her period.

For all intents and purposes, the first day of your wife’s period is “Day One”. The guidelines that follow her hormonal changes are just that, guidelines. They are not set in stone, but general averages. Some women have long cycles, some short, but most average in the 28-29 day range.

Somewhere usually around day 10-14, the hormones that control fertility spike, causing increased lubrication and desire for sex. You can use your fingers to avoid intercourse, staying safe from pregnancy, or you can get hands-on as a way to bring her to orgasm to prime her for intercourse, if you are attempting to conceive.

This sexual tension will continue to grow until her ovaries are signalled to release an egg, and from her her fertility and natural desire will begin to wane. As she grows once again closer to menstruation, her body becomes more sensitive,

If you don’t think you have the know-how to make the first move to touch her hottest spots, start taking notes! Here are some tips to explore her entire body.

Zoning Laws

Out of the Way

The obvious erogenous zones are so, well, obvious. Why not start somewhere new? Instead of heading right for her breast, why not caress her face, nibble her ear lobes, stroke her hair, kiss her neck, rub her belly, squeeze her butt, or even just hold her hand.

Up in the Mountains

The breasts, topped so pointedly by the clusters of nerve endings in the sensitive nipples, are many men’s first stop on the road to arousal. Squeeze gently and don’t overdo it unless she expresses a desire – her nipples might appreciate being lightly rolled between the fingers, or sucked gently between your lips. Don’t bite!

Over the Hill

The “mons pubis” is the fatty mound of flesh under her pubic hair, cushioning a woman’s pubic bone. The area isn’t particularly sensitive, especially if it is covered in hair, but pressure here can stimulate all the other areas of the vulva below.

Loose Lips

On the other side of the mons, holding in all the more sensitive parts between her legs, the outer labia is the first to get red and puffy as her arousal levels rise. The thin inner lips are are much finer and also make up the clitoral hood, which protects her “little hill” from your more aggressive advances.

Little Bits

The clitoris is the key to orgasm for a vast majority of women, so if you haven’t learned to manipulate it like a master, it’s time to begin. It may look small and perhaps even insignificant, but the actual size of the clitoris, buried deep in the pelvic wall, rivals that of the average penis.

This complex of nerves and tissues is incredibly sensitive to touch both on the outside of the vulva and from inside the vagina, where fingers in particular are amazing tools for finding the extra special spots that hide inside.

Skene Tight

Most men don’t think of the urethra as a sexual component to the genitals, but the little exit valve not only contains a small amount of erectile tissue which responds to stimulation, but houses the infamous Skene’s Gland, the mysterious spot that produces the fluid ejaculated during a G-Spot orgasm. A little lick or flick of the urethral opening is a great way to ease her into squirting stimulation!

The Jade Chamber

Once your fingers find their way inside your wife’s vagina, you have a virtual 360 degrees of pleasure to give her! You can try to imagine the cylindrical opening as a clock face, slowly exploring around in circles, using smaller circular motions to determine her more sensitive spots, both shallow and deep.

Back to Back

Don’t head for her back door until you’ve really mastered some other skills. If she is relaxed and ready to go from her first (few?) orgasms, she’s much more likely to enjoy a finger in her rear. If she isn’t quite ready to be anally penetrated, you can stimulate her clitoral complex by massaging her perineum, the smooth flesh between her vagina and her anus.

Find her hot spots, hold on tight and don’t let go!