authenticity

Breathe!!!

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 14:01:00 -0700

It has been a lonnng time since I have posted. So I'm not sure how many of you will catch this blog since I'm not so consistent, but I thought I would give it a shot. I love to share my thoughts here, but there has been a lot going on and blogging was bumped to the very last thing on the list of things to do. Right now the 2 older girls are resting in their room (fingers crossed), and little Olive is resting in my room (fingers crossed), there is a sink full of dishes that I'm choosing to ignore, and laundry in the washer and dryer that will hopefully get folded sometime this week. So for a few minutes before I attempt to crash because I feel the exhaustion setting in, I wanted to share just a bit. The last 2 months have left me feeling dizzy and kind of "wow, did that just happen?" Over this past year, we knew that God was shifting us. We could just feel the winds of change blowing, more like knocking us down, they were blowing so hard, but we didn't know when and where and how we were going to move.
On May 23rd, Olive was born, our precious gift who has softened our hearts and turned me into more of a chill and patient mom that I could've ever imagined becoming. And a week later we were packing our things in a moving truck to move to Three Rivers, Michigan (there is a McDonald's) to be youth pastors. Alongside those 2 big adjustments, is Olive's beautiful mouth, that needs extra love and care through doctor's visits and surgeries. That's a lot of change in a short amount of time. In times like that, you don't have a lot of time to think, you just hear God and then you do. And later you think. We are in such an amazing place in life. I love where we are. There has been so much confirmation for Jared and for me that we are right where God wants us. I'm almost crying because of how grateful I feel for where God has placed us and what he is doing in us. Anyways...
For those of you that know me, you know that I have always been extensively involved in ministry, dragging my kids behind me. :) I've just always wanted to do everything, which is totally impossible, by the way. And over the last couple of years, God has led me to establish more balance in my life and it has been a very healthy journey. But a tough one too.
Right now, most days I feel like all I do is eat, feed Olive, and referee my other 2 while we all survive this season. But some days I get to do more, like be involved with the services and hang out with the leaders and chat with the students. I kind of feel like it's 2 different worlds trying to collide into what I call my life. And I love every bit of it. I love the days that I don't make it out of pjs and I love the days that my house is such a wreck because all I did was spend time with people. But sometimes I just want to be able to do so much more, with my kids and with the youth. And I catch myself in these, why-can't-i-give-and-do-so-much-more moments. When I catch myself in one of those moments, first I remind myself to breathe, and second I take a look at where I am in my life and what season I'm in. My little spot in life. And I think, ok, my baby is 3 months old, I just moved across the country, my kids are out of school for the summer... and we're alive... and they're smiling... and my husband is smiling... and most of the time I'm smiling... we're good! We're so good!! Sometimes, when we feel like we are not doing enough or that what we are doing doesn't matter, it just might be because we are looking at others in other seasons of life and discouraging ourselves through comparison. And it's just not fair to do that to yourself!! So I just want to take what God is teaching me and encourage you. When you start to get that overwhelmed I'm a loser, what am I doing that's worth anything feeling, just take a breath and let the Holy Spirit take you on a journey of where you are and what you are doing and how it is putting a smile on God's face. And get back up and remain diligent in where he has you. Because life is made up of moments and seasons. So embrace each moment and every season for what is it and what it means right now.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven..." Ecclesiastes 3.

Easy Cheesy Chicken Pot Pie

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Thu, 2 Feb 2012 06:41:00 -0800

I found this online and cooked it last night for dinner and it was good! It gives you that chicken pot pie taste without spending a ton of time rolling out doll and chopping fresh veggies. I honestly didn't think it would be great, but it was cheap and easy and I thought my kids would like it. I was surprised! Those crescent rolls do the trick! My husband even liked it and told me it was a keeper, and that's a big deal.

3 cups chopped cooked chicken (I dice it first so it cooked fast, and I skillet cook it with salt, pepper, and a little bit of garlic powder)

1 pkg. frozen mixed veggies (carrots, corn, green beans, peas), thawed, drained

1/2 lb. (8oz) velveeta, cut into 1/2 inch cubes. (I used the off-brand and it was still good)

1 can condensed cream of chicken soup (Again, off-brand, still good)

1 can (8 oz) refrigerated crescent dinner rolls (Yet again, off-brand, still good)

Heat oven to 375
Combine first 4 ingredients in 13x9 baking dish
Unroll dough; place over chicken mixture
Bake 20 t0 25 min or until crust is golden brown.

Done! Served it with a salad. So easy!

you are.

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 07:03:00 -0800

"...you is kind, you is smart, you is important."

Today is laundry day. Not because Tuesday is my official laundry day, but because if I don't do laundry today, I will have to dig out a dirty school uniform and spot wash it for my daughter, because there are just none left clean. That's why. I don't have washer and dryer hookups or space to put them in our apartment, as well as the rest of students, staff, and alumni that live on this campus. So, we wash them in at the coin laundry. I am blessed to have one in my complex, so I don't have to go to the laundromat to wash them. But I have before on days that the one in my complex was too packed or when I just wanted to go do them away from campus by myself. There's one really close to where we live so every once in a while I use it. It has tons of washers and dryers, you never have to wait for one, and it has coin machines. That's right, not just one but two. It's awesome. Not the prettiest place you've ever seen, but still. And on days that I forget to get quarters from the bank, I stop in to use those awesome coin machines so I can go wash clothes at home. (Is that wrong?) :)
Today I ran in to get some quarters and ran back out and as I was backing out of the parking lot I stopped and stared at a more than picture worthy moment. Now, if I wasn't so against strangers taking pics of my kids and posting them online for the world to see, I would've gotten a pic of these 2 little girls. But I refrained. Picture with me... There are 2 beautiful little girls around 4 or 5 years old. They have pretty dresses on and bows in their hair. They each have their own special animal they had brought with them. They were sitting on the floor of the laundromat, propped up against a set of washers, and they played while their moms worked. Now I made this laundromat out to sound awesome because of it's convenience, but you've got to know... there is trash everywhere, you've got to watch your purse like a hawk, and there may very well be a drug deal going on around the corner. It's the hood. But please understand that I say this lovingly, because I too live there. It's hood, but it's my hood. :) So, it's kind of gross. And there are these 2 little girls totally oblivious to where they are or how it could affect them. Why? Because they are princesses and they know it. That's who they are. The world around them is not affecting their beauty and their goodness, their beauty and their goodness is affecting the world around them.
A while back I started an Esther study that a friend of mine recommended. I never finished, and I hate to leave things unfinished, so I picked it back up this week. To finish what I started. I couldn't help connecting this scenario to that of Esther. Esther is beautiful, she's the queen, she's the only one that won the king's favor, she's got it going on, etc. etc., but she's surrounded by thugs. Her husband was known to be one of the biggest jerks of that time, and his right hand man Haman was much worse. While I was thinking about Esther I realized something. We always see Esther as the orphan and the nobody first and the queen and the somebody second. But I think we have it backwards. I believe that her character and her identity were decided before she ever stepped foot inside the palace. She was a queen before she was ever crowned. She was a beauty before she ever had beauty treatments. What she inwardly knew about herself was outwardly revealed in time. How else did she get to where she was and win the king's eye, heart, and favor? How else did she make one of the wisest and most important decisions of all time? We often let where we are and what happens to us determine who we are. But God has already told us who we are. Who we are can affect where we are and what happens, if we will allow it. God loves to start with the YOU ARE. He takes people who look like nobodies, he tells them something they don't believe about themselves, and he reveals a masterpiece for all to behold. Noah, Abraham and Sarah, Moses, Ruth, Rahab, Esther, ....... Jesus. Jesus shows up on the scene.
"I am." Huh? What do you mean you are? You are what? Son of a carpenter, dude who doesn't have a home and probably doesn't bathe a lot? Dude who hangs out with tax collectors, drunks, and prostitutes? That's what people saw on the outward, not what was already inwardly determined. He is. And out of him, everything else is. He is, you are.

“I AM the bread of life; he who comes to Me shall not hunger.” John 6:35

“I AM the light of the world; he who follows Me shall not walk in the darkness, but shall have the light of life.” John 8:12

“I AM the gate; if anyone enters through Me, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.” John 10:9

“I AM the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for His sheep.” John 10:11

“I AM the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me shall live even if he dies.” John 11:25

“I AM the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me.” John 14:6

"But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted."
1 Peter 2:9-10 The Message

YOU ARE chosen, YOU ARE lovely, YOU ARE important, YOU ARE redeemed, YOU ARE blessed, YOU ARE healed. YOU ARE. Period.

the needy

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 06:49:00 -0800

I guess I will regretfully refer to this as my monthly blog post. I should post more often, but... yeah. Moving on. I've heard it preached more than once. I've read it more than a few times. I'm sure I've probably communicated it as well. Ideas such as, "Don't come to God only when you need him" or "What kind of relationship would we have with Jesus if we only prayed when we needed something?" And I used to really agree with this, until this morning. It's amazing to go years having a viewpoint for it to be demolished all of a sudden by a gentle nudging that says, "no, no, that's not it." That's been happening to me a lot lately. Sometimes the less you do, the more you realize what God is doing. Sometimes drawing back and quieting your heart will lead you to very close loud truths that cannot be shaken. Once we get past the place where we struggle with God sidelining us or quieting us or making us be still, we can realize why, receive his transformation, and draw closer to him with a deeper appreciation of his character and his love. The loud truth that I cannot shake, the contradiction in my heart to my previous belief of not being needy, is that I need him. All the time. Every day. I have always needed Jesus. And having him does not quench the need but increases it. I will always need him. I was raised in the baptist church so I love hymns and now that I'm older and understand what I'm singing, I'm deeply touched by so many of them. "I need thee every hour most gracious Lord, no tender voice like thine can peace afford." I need him to wake up every day. I need him to see and hear and walk and speak and function and understand. I need him to love and breathe and give and be. I need him to have life and health and purpose and meaning. I need him to parent my children without losing my mind and screaming my head off. I need him to love my spouse and have conversations with him without throwing everything we own in our home. I need him to forgive wrongs, to move past failure, to embrace who I am, to believe him for the impossible. Maybe I've not read enough of my Bible or listened enough in prayer, but I've never heard Jesus say, "Don't by needy" or "really, it's you again? So needy!" Contrary to that, in the Bible and through life circumstances I see Jesus encouraging us to need him. Many times the miracles he performed is because someone really really needy came to him and he healed them and helped them because their faith was great. Why should I not push through a crowd and crawl to his feet just to touch the hem of his robe? Why should I not cut a hole in the roof and let me friend down to see him? Why should I not take my precious life savings and break it at his feet in front of all of the important people and weep because of how much he loves me and how much I need him? Give me a reason why. I can't think of one. The deeper louder truth that is hard for us to swallow, is that we were created to need him. Even those that choose to live "without him" are still taking their breaths because of him. Even when we choose to "do it on our own" he's right their helping, guiding, correcting, protecting, blessing, giving, even when we pat ourselves on the back for "what we did." Thinking that we have to be better before we come to him or that we have anything to offer him that he has not already given to us is simply wrong thinking. We need him. He knows that we need him. He wants us to need him.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

celebrate good times

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Tue, 4 Oct 2011 06:09:00 -0700

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens.
Ecclesiastes 3:1

Fall is my favorite season, hands down. I love watching the leaves fall, I love the sound of them rustling on the ground, and I love the crunch of them beneath my feet. I love making pumpkin bread with the kids and eating it in the mornings. And I love the weather. I'm a pretty steady person, not known to do things to the extreme, at all. It's not too hot, it's not too cold, it's just right for Sarah. Being a native Georgian, it's usually not at blazing hot as it is here, so the seasons are a little more defined. But that's not really the case here. It's takes a little while for a season to take effect and then you still keep all seasons of clothing handy just in case. So the first day of fall rolls around and I'm really excited about it. A few days later however, it still feels like mid-July. I was still determined that I was going to celebrate. So I came inside, bumped the air down, lit my salted caramel candle, and made myself a chai tea. And as long as I didn't open the door, it actually felt like the season it was, despite the Texas heat. In every season of life there are things that happen that take us on journeys and sometimes I think we can make the mistake of taking the hardships of a situation and making them what that season of life was all about. I think we all have had really hard seasons of life and I'm not discounting the pain that comes in each season, but if we focus only on the pain we don't leave room to celebrate that season and rejoice in it's gifts. There's going to be heat. Jobs may be lost, homes may be put on the market, diseases may present themselves, a spouse may be unfaithful, we may lose a family member or a friend, mr. right may be taking his sweet time while all your friends are getting married, you may battle depression or lust or insecurity, or you may think the dream in your heart will never come to pass. But those trials don't have to steal entire seasons of life. If you take your single life and fill it with misery because you are not married, you will miss out on the beauty and freedom of that single season. Your kids will only be young for a certain period of time. If you take the time they are young trying to prove your worth by working every chance you can get, you just might miss one of the most beautiful seasons that God sent your way. If you hate your job and only dream of a better day, you will get to the better day and think that you could've made that job a little more enjoyable. If you hate living at home and just can't wait to be out on your own, you will regret not appreciating it more once you have to pay for your own things. Have you ever heard someone say or caught yourself saying, "I just don't know how they are smiling right now with everything going on. How can they be happy in such a bad time?" It's a choice. Rejoicing in the midst of a hard time is not easy. There is no secret ingredient or recipe for happiness, but there is always something to celebrate and something to be thankful for.

All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship.

With that being said, below is a recipe I use for a pumpkin pie dip. It's divine and it will be sure to help you celebrate this beautiful season, whether it's 62 or 92 degrees outside. ;)

PUMPKIN PIE DIP

Ingredients

1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
2 cups powdered sugar
1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin pie filling
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

Preparation

Beat cream cheese and sugar at medium speed with an electric mixer until smooth. Add pie filling, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, and ginger, beating well. Cover and chill 8 hours (if you have that kind of time. It's still good if you don't.) Serve with your favorite yummy cookie, like gingersnaps or graham crackers. I carve out a small pumpkin and pour the dip in it so it looks cute. Super easy, super yummy.

i think we're alone now

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Thu, 8 Sep 2011 07:06:00 -0700

Going through a personal journey is just that. Personal. Whether it's healing, courage, purity, forgiveness, trust, or any of the other of the millions of things God is trying to work in us in this lifetime, there's a point where we feel alone. There are family members and friends and pastors and co-workers, some of them cheering and encouraging and holding our hand through whatever we face, but the road turns and curves and weaves and it's just us... and Him. That's it. No one can walk through what I need to walk through. I can try to call out for help from someone else, I can talk to a friend and gain perspective, I can get counseled and receive wisdom on the situation, but at the end of the day it's just me... and Him. When I get to that point, I call out to an ear that will understand, but it's like the words bounce off an invisible wall right back to me. If you have ever faced anything that seemed impossible, you know the place I'm referring to. Once we step into that place where no one can understand and no one can really help, we have no other choice than to cling to Him. The first place we should turn ends up being the last sometimes. So we find ourselves in positions that give us no other choice but the one we should've made at the very beginning. There's no turning back. There's no escape route. There's no self-help book, music, movie, candy bar, relaxation technique, outlet that can provide what we need to continue. It's simply me... and Him. Simply you... and Him. His hand will guide you and his right hand will hold you fast.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
--Ps 139:7-10

nobody puts Baby in a corner

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 11:53:00 -0700

My 3 year old is very outwardly expressive. If she's happy, she's shouting "Hooray, hooray!" If she's upset, she's crying, loudly. If she has an emotion or an opinion about something, you are going to know about it. Sometimes when she is being too "expressive" for me, I tell her to go sit on her bed until she can calm down. She cries... loudly... and reluctantly goes to her room. And then she does this thing. She says "Mommy, I done." But she doesn't say it once, she says it over and over and over until she gets my attention. When she succeeds, I then say, "You're not done until I say you are done. Stay here until Mommy tells you to come out." That is followed by a loud cry and reluctant obedience. After a few minutes, she's fine and we have a talk and she's back to being Happy Rhema.

One day when this was happening, the Holy Spirit started speaking to me about seasons. There are reasons why we are where we are. There are reasons why things happen when and how they happen. And when we go through "time-out" seasons, our true nature shines through. Time-out seasons are those times when you think you should be doing something great and it doesn't look like it, or when you know you blew it, or when you should be really happy with your life but for some reason you're not. It's when you thought God would do one thing and he's doing something else. It's in a tough time that I find out who I am. It comes right out. When you get squeezed, something's coming out, that's for sure, and it's not always pretty, and we shouldn't always expect it to be. The point is not doing things just right, always keeping a smile on our face and every hair in place. Sometimes the point is to just make it out alive. Sometimes the point is to have a testimony to help someone else make it through something similar. Sometimes God uses those seasons to prepare us for something we are not ready to face. Sometimes we have no clue of what's going on and we come out with an odd look and an "I got nothin."

The importance is not that we know what's going on and why we are in a certain season but that we know that God does and we trust him to know what he's doing. I need my kids to trust me. If I tell them to sit this one out, I need them to do it, even if they don't understand. Sometimes when God says, "Sarah, sit this one out," I ask questions and I try to reason with him and I read old journal entries trying to look for clues as to what he's doing and why I'm on the sideline of a situation. Basically, I'm telling him, "God, I done." Really I think he just wants me to say ok and obey. No matter what I think, he's doing something even when it looks like he's not and when I protest, I'm only getting in the way of his divine plan. Whatever he asks of us, it's only out of his deep love for us, and that's an immense comfort.

"We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God's purpose prevails."
Prov 19:21 The Message

Give to Give

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 09:48:00 -0700

My husband has gotten very interested in investments lately. I'm really excited about that, mainly because I have no desire to follow companies and look at prices of shares in my spare time, and I'm glad that he will be the one doing it. But I'm also excited about it because of the possibility of a good return. I know almost nothing about buying stock in companies, but I do know that when the stock prices drop, like they have in the last week (that's a whole different topic...), it's a good time to research companies and buy stock, with the educated guess that the price will go back up in time and you will sell and get a good return. If you invest in something that is good, you will get a good return. And when you invest in something that's not good, you won't get a return and you will lose money. I think that we can tend to look at investments in people the same way. Make a good investment, you will get a good return. Give to something and it will give back to you. We will see the return and use it as we please. But when we are living by the Spirit, it's different.

Galatians 6:7-10 says, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to ALL, especially those who are of the household of faith."

We know that if we invest in our flesh we will get corruption in return. And we know that if we invest in things of the Spirit we receive life forever. And we know that we reap what we sow. BUT we don't know when, where, and how exactly all that happens. When we are sowing things in the Spirit, our reward is everlasting. We don't know whether we will see the reward for investments we make in this life or in eternity. We have been trained to think that if we give into someone or something that the same someone or something should be giving us something in return. Don't we?? I was talking to a friend not too long ago, and she said that she wants to be in a place where she gives of her time, effort and heart to others not expecting anything in return from those people. I am so thankful that she was real about that, because I want to be in that place too. It's so easy to get caught up in the "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" mentality. Then we get upset when we scratch someone's back and they are unable or unwilling to scratch ours. That is an earthly mentality, not a heavenly one. That same person may take what you've invested into them and sow it into someone else, furthering the kingdom and helping the body of Christ. We should all help each other out and it's good to return a favor when you can. But if we will switch our perspective and realize that we are sowing into the kingdom of God and into eternity rather than sowing into a certain someone or something, we are more likely to keep investing in people even after a bad return, enjoy our investment and to use whatever return we may get on earth to further the kingdom of God.

Meet Wanda

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 21:19:00 -0700

On Tuesday we met Wanda on the metro in Madrid. We were tired and on a time crunch. Isn't that the way it always happens? God is about to blow our minds and have us operate out of our weakness, just for kicks I think. So here we are... and Wanda is really struggling trying to get directions from someone who speaks only Spanish, and she speaks only English. So she asks if we speak English and we say yes and that our friend is really good with the metro system. Erica begins helping her understand the metro and where she is going and she begins to tell us how she was supposed to meet her sister but couldn't find her. And then she mentions her husband, but in the past tense and very randomly thrown into conversation. So I ask about him. A few years ago I began to realize that people are more likely to answer personal questions than we are to ask them. So I started asking personal questions. And to this day I have never had someone tell me that it's none of my business... not that I can remember anyways... I usually get answers, really good answers. As Wanda answered my question, I began to see that God was up to something. Wanda and her husband had planned their trip to Spain together. They were supposed to be there together, but recently Wanda's husband of 20 years decided he couldn't be married to her anymore, and he left her. And here was Wanda, in her 50's, on a metro in Madrid by herself. We helped her with directions and we prayed with her before we parted ways. She was a Christian, but in desperate need of encouragement, so we became that for her. And I learned some things from Wanda:
-We don't find our value or identity in our job, our friends, our kids, or even our spouse, but in Christ alone. He is the only one that can give us our true identity and life's purpose.
-Life doesn't stop when something bad happens. There is always a reason to continue. Wanda was telling us that she works with special needs kids in the states and that she might come back to Spain to live and teach if there is a program like that. She could've stopped her life and focused on her problem, but instead she chose to focus on the fact that God had a promise for her, still.
-With God's strength we can push through even our greatest disappointment. I believe that God sent Wanda into our lives because he loves her, deeply, and she needs his help. And he wanted to use us to help her and use her to help us learn those life lessons that are so easily forgotten.
So, praying big buff angels around her and that she has the time of her life... go, Wanda, go.

Grab your windex

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Wed, 1 Jun 2011 22:07:00 -0700

Tonight I was getting ready to pray and I reached under my bedside table to grab my Bible and my journal and behind those things, and the many books I'm either in the middle of reading or longing to read, was a packet I had put together a couple of months ago. I had searched for verses that I needed at the time, promises that I needed to speak over my life. I had printed it out and stapled it together and was really excited about it. Well, tonight I picked it up and as I went to turn the page I felt this dusty film on top of it. I didn't realize I had left it alone long enough to gather dust. Everything else was the same. Nothing had changed. The verses were all still there. They all meant the same thing they meant a few months ago and even when they were first ever written. The only thing that was different was the result of my neglect. Romans 4:21 says, "Yet he (Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." In the verses preceding this one it talks about the things Abraham had to face. In verse 19 it says, "he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead-since he was about a hundred years old- and that Sarah's womb was also dead." Don't you think Abraham had to wipe the dust off of God's promise for his life? He had to look at who he was, what was and wasn't happening, the facts... and see underneath all of that dust to who God was, what God was capable of, and most importantly what God had promised to him. God is not the one who changes. We are the ones who change. It is not God's promises that change, fade, or disappear, but our perception of them. Some of us, me definitely included, need to wipe the dust off of words spoken to us, promises made, scriptures that speak to our situation, and believe that God has the power to do what he promised.

it's just gotta go

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Thu, 26 May 2011 21:49:00 -0700

Since I should be in bed sleeping right now, I thought it would be a great time to blog. I wish I would have great ideas at a different time of the day, but late at night is the usually the only time I get to sit and do nothing. And then I start to think, and then it's all over. So here I am.
I am on an interesting journey right now in this season of my life. Having lived my life as a major people- pleaser, I want to do everything I can to make sure everyone is happy and that I do everything right. No conflict, no mistakes... the life of a perfectionist. And honestly, it's so tiring. I don't mean irritating or frustrating, I mean really exhausting. It takes a toll on someone mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically to live like that. And it was only a matter of time before Jesus decided that it just had to go. You know, you live your entire life a certain way just thinking that's who you are and that you're great that way, and then one day you have a face-to-face Daddy talk and God just says, nope, that's gotta go. We never arrive. I constantly find myself in those moments where I realize something else that just needs to go. And so I'm on this journey of pleasing God, rather than others, and looking to him for strength rather than trying so hard on my own. And there's so much freedom in that, really. I always end up referencing a movie scene in the middle of spiritual moments. Maybe a fault of mine, but I do it anyways. I was watching Bride Wars, which I found in the $5 movie bin at WalMart. I was really excited about it and I didn't even have to crawl in there to find it, it was actually on top. Incredible! Anyways, these 2 brides are duking it out because their weddings get booked on the same day at the same venue. They are sabotaging hair appointments, spray tanning sessions, etc. And the most amazing scene to me is when Kate Hudson's character is lying in bed and she starts to cry and admits that her best friend is right about her, that it is exhausting trying to be so perfect all the time. And in her moment of realizing that she doesn't have to be perfect all the time comes this raw moment of weakness that in turn brings about beautiful change in her life. So this is not an easy journey, no. And it's not really fun. But I need to journey this one. It's humbling to live in freedom because freedom exposes weakness. And it's painful to let someone down because you just can't do it all without breaking. But this journey is GOOD and NECESSARY. You're going to forget someone's birthday, it's just going to happen. You're going to spill a full drink in your lap, trip in front of everyone, talk out of turn, hurt someone's feelings, and say something you shouldn't say. You're not going to get invited to everything, be best buds with everyone or earn everyone's affections and praise. It's just not possible.
2 Timothy 2:15 says, "Do your BEST to present yourself to GOD as one approved." I am so glad that God does not expect me to win everyone's heart or be a superhero who does everything right. It's so freeing to realize that we've already won his heart, and everything from here on out is simply doing our BEST for HIM!

hear what's not being said

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 11:44:00 -0700

I get to meet new people... a lot. I was good at remembering names at one point in my life, but not anymore. Nope. It's not because each person I meet is not extremely awesome, it's just too much for my brain. Meeting new people is usually really fun. There's always the possibility that something disasterous could happen, but usually I find it pretty entertaining. Whatever the case, I can always learn something if I just take the time to listen and respond appropriately. (Emphasis on the word appropiately- hehe!) And learning about the other person is really important for a good relationship. Well, recently I was having a first-time convo with someone I had just met. And within 5 minutes of listening, I knew what I can imagine was every accomplishment of their life and everything they were really awesome at. I don't know if you've ever found yourself in that kind of situation before, but usually for me, it's not pretty. Normally, I probably would've taken that as a challenge and found a way to interject why I was equally awesome, or I would've avoided the whole situation and pretended like I had to potty. Sometimes I just throw it out there, and sometimes I completely avoid the whole thing. You never really know which one it's going to be. But this time something different happened. I was totally shocked and think that the angel of the Lord must have slapped some duct tape on my mouth so I couldn't speak, and glued my feet to the floor so I couldn't make a quick escape to the bathroom with my fake potty emergency. I just listened. And listened. And nodded. And listened. And as I listened Jesus showed me something really cool. He showed me that when people really believe they are awesome, they are less likely to seek affirmation from others by being loud about how great they are. This person didn't know they were awesome. What looked like bragging was really a cry for help. Tears late at night when no one is around is interpreted totally different in public. I found myself in the position to be the one that would let her know how incredible and irreplaceable she is. So, that's what I did. Oh wow. How awesome. You are amazing. And it wasn't fake either. It was a real Jesus moment. Now, as I stated earlier, this was not the normal response for that kind of conversation, so please understand my heart. I'm saying all this as encouragement to see past what is being said, to what need is being covered up, what cry is coming from a deep place that hurts, and responding... appropriately. ;)

Bump, Set, Spike!

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 10:11:00 -0700

I love to watch a good volleyball game. The key word here is watch because to be totally honest, I'm athletically pathetic. So watching is the position I take in the game. And the main reason I love to watch volleyball is for the bump, set, spike. It's almost like this process plays in slow motion for me. Someone is getting set up to score with an amazing "how do they do that" spike. But it's not just the person at the front of the net whose responsible for what just went down. No, every person involved in the process rejoices, hugs, high fives, and does that weird jump on each other thing that girl volleyball teams do, because they know that they each had a part in the beatdown that just happened to the other team. This morning I was reading in Ruth. Oh, how I love the book of Ruth. She is just way too awesome for me. And that's why I love to read about her. She loses her husband, she vows to follow her mother-in-law wherever she may go, and she decides to follow BEHIND THE SERVANT GIRLS to gather sheaves. Then Boaz notices her, she wins his heart, they get married and live happily ever after. Oh yeah, she is the woman. But something I didn't notice until today is the part that Naomi played in Ruth's story. In Ruth 1:22, you'll notice that Naomi returned to Bethlehem as the barley harvest was beginning, accompanied by Ruth. In other words, where they went and when they went were Naomi's decisions. Ruth was simply following her at this point. Then it just so happens that Boaz, one of Naomi's relatives just so happens to have a field where Ruth just so happens to go glean. Now, I'm not trying to read too much in between the lines here. I know that our steps are ordained by God. But don't you agree that Naomi knew what was going on and had a cheeky smile on her face the whole time, and was nudging Ruth in a certain direction? In Ruth 2:2, Ruth decided to glean in the field to which Naomi replies, "Go ahead, my daughter." Now let me pause for a minute and interject a little 21st century insight. To me this sounds a lot like, "Go ahead and get your man, honey." She is calling Ruth her daughter here, which means that she is caring for her as she would her own daughter. And what mother in her right mind does not want to set her daughter up with a great man? Let's continue. Ruth gathers more than enough barley and when she shows Naomi, Naomi says, "Where did you glean today? Where did you work? Blessed be the man that took notice of you!" As if she didn't know! What a sneak! Ruth never told Naomi that a man had taken notice and helped her out before this point. I'm thinking that Naomi knew exactly what was going on here. Ruth begins telling her about Boaz... why, I'm not so sure, because Naomi probably already knew everything she was going to say anyways... and when she does, Naomi says in verse 20, "That man is our close relative; he is one of our guardian-redeemers." Oh, really, Naomi? You just realized this? This wasn't your plan allll alllooonngg?? ;) A guadian-redeemer is also called a kinsman redeemer. A kinsman redeemer avenged deaths, claimed inheritances for poor family members, and married the widow of a dead male relative. Ok, I see exactly what is going on here. Naomi then goes on to tell her to stay in that field because she may be harmed in someone elses. A little manipulative, but do you blame her? She is the matchmaker of all matchmakers. If people didn't want to be married any time soon, I'm sure they stayed far away from Naomi. She's a beast when it comes to this stuff. I'm impressed. Then she proceeds to tell her she needs to find a home for Ruth and instructs her in exactly what she should do to win Boaz's heart. Bump, set, spike, Ruth walks right into her destiny. Yes, Ruth is awesome. If Ruth had left Naomi and the other girl had stayed (we don't even remember her name, do we??), someone else could've had her man instead of her. It was through her faithfulness to Naomi that she was blessed like she was. But I would also like to point out that behind every great Ruth is a great Naomi. That woman was setting Ruth up to walk straight into her destiny, and we have the same opportunity to do that for others. It doesn't matter who bumps, who sets, or who spikes, because God's purposes are going to move forward and we can all rejoice in the fact that someone just stepped into their calling. We are going to set someone up to score a point and someone is going to set us up to score a point. But it's all for the Kingdom of God. Different roles, different giftings, different personalities all working together for a common cause, the cause of Christ. Score!

Do today what you want done unto you tomorrow

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 16:58:00 -0700

I had a conversation with a friend recently that has stirred something in me. We were talking about being the new kid. You know, being new to the job, new to your church, new to a neighborhood, or all of the above. Whatever the case, being the newbie is very challenging. You have to meet new friends, you have needs that must be met, you are looking for a listening ear, and at some point you feel all alone. And there are people that embrace you and people that don't. Many times in my life I have been the newbie. Pastoring and developing 6 youth groups over the past 5 years and taking lots of students on missions has called for a lot of first-time experiences, many opportunities for new friendships, some opportunities for new intense conflict, and even one "I don't know how to say this, but why are you here?" And I remember those that embraced me and helped me adapt to my new place. Those people are forever in my heart and I know that God will bless them big-time for the sacrificial kindness shown to me. And then there were some that didn't. I try to think on the ones that did rather than the ones that didn't. Everyone has been there at one time or another. You walk into a room and no one says hello. You sit down by yourself, and no one befriends you. You do something that may be a little different than the way they do, or you say something a little strange by their standards, and you are met by odd glances, silence, and everyone looking for a way to escape! I try very hard to embrace new people, because I remember what it was like so well and I am continually placed in that position. However, I am by no means claiming to be perfect at this and by no means am I claiming to have never neglected an opportunity to be warm and welcoming to someone I did not already know. Just recently I met a young lady in our church 3 times without remembering her. I know how many times, because she told me. I felt awful! It's horrible to feel forgotten. So I'm not writing this to say "I'm great at this and you should be too." I'm writing this to encourage us to look at someone new as if it were us in that position. How would we want to be treated? I encourage you to look back and remember what it was like to be the new person. What words were spoken that still hurt? What neglect did you undergo through that experience? Who embraced you and treated you as though you were the best thing since DVR? And I encourage you to operate from that place. How do you treat the new kids? Do you ignore them? Do you wait for them to prove themselves before you put yourself out there? Do you respond positively to their efforts? Do you think it's not your problem and wait for someone else to do it? Do you just simply not see them because you are too concerned with yourself? Or maybe it is as innocent as being in a rush or having too much on your plate? Some might say, "well, I'm just not good at that." Well, awesome. Let's all not do anything unless we think we're great at it and see how fast we can get nowhere. What we may not realize is that our failure to operate in our weaknesses could have a negative and even detrimental effect on another's life. I know we're not going to be perfect at it and that there will be times when we fall short, but why not try? Just give it a shot. Because you never know how deep your actions and reactions go into another's heart until that very thing happens to you. I don't want to have to wait until it happens to me to realize it was wrong or wait until it's not happening for me to realize it would've been awesome. What about you?

It's OK to be a little bit crazy

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 10:24:00 -0800

Jesus speaks to me in the shower. That may sound weird or a little creepy, especially if you're not so sure about the whole jesus-talks-to-me thing. But he does. And I start thinking and praying, and then a 10 minute shower turns into a 30 minute shower... and then I'm rushing to get out the door... But at least I'm hearing him talk to me, right? Weird or not... creepy or not... I LOVE the times that the Lord drops something on my heart that I just can't shake. Because it was something he thought was important to tell me, and it's something that he will use to teach me, and it's something that will begin to change me, and it's something that I can use to hopefully repeat the process in someone else. There's nothing that compares to a God-revelation. It's like a download. He clicks the button, presses send, and boom, there it is. And a few days ago he started to talk to me about how we live, and how it has sooo much to do with who we trust with our life. You take the medicine your doctor gives you because you trust your doctor. You leave early for work because you trust what the news is saying about the traffic. You lock your door because you trust it's going to stop someone who might want to open it from opening it. There are so many things that we do without even thinking twice, because of who or what we have put our trust in. But when it comes to something that God is asking us to do that is out of our comfort zone or may seem foreign to us, there's a problem. We begin to ask questions. Is this sensible? Will it hurt me? Will I be able to pay the bills? Will I succeed or fail? Will I be in danger? Would other people I know do this? Most of us don't even blink when walking onto an airplane, or getting on a city bus, or paying for something online with our personal credit card. Things that we do everyday that are normal and comfortable for us are easy, because we have come to trust the source. But when God is our source, it's supposed to be different, right? I have trust issues. Straight up. I'm not going to pretend like I don't. With every relationship and every situation, I have to fight through past issues and memories when someone I trusted let me down. And to some extent, I would like to think that we all have those moments. So I understand what it feels like to throw up a red flag when God asks us to do something that seems completely crazy. And the answer we give him and the actions we take have everything to do with how much we trust him. And I want to trust him completely! Every step I take toward what he asks me to do, and every time I say yes to him and his way of life, increases my trust in him. I don't want to live the rest of my life just to wake up one day and realize I trusted the seatbelt in my car and the guy making my burger at McDonald's more than I trusted the sovereign almighty hand of God. Come with me on my journey! Say yes this time... Take a step toward God, rather than away...Do something that challenges those trust issues...
Be a little bit crazy!!!
"Trust the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Piece by Piece

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 21:24:00 -0800

Getting young kids ready for school in the morning is a TRIP! Seriously! Every morning feels like an episode from The Amazing Race. How fast can you get from destination A to destination B meeting all the requirements and not killing each other?? It's probably not that way for everyone, or for really organized moms... but for me, a live in the moment type of girl, it is a crazy adventure! Now, anyone that knows me knows that I love my kids. I really do. I think they are amazing and it is incredible to see how beautiful and unique they are... And how opposite they are in their morning routine! Zoe sleeps like a rock. Waking up for her is one of the worst things that could ever happen. She moans and groans and pulls the blanket over her head. (I can totally relate!) Getting ready in the morning is a process. A long one. She likes to savor her breakfast. She likes to talk to herself in the mirror and make up songs and tell me about her great day at school the day before while I am trying to get ready. And then there is Rhema. And what is her morning routine, you might ask? The very opposite of her older sister. Rhema is a light sleeper. When morning comes, she knows it. She darts out of bed so fast that she usually falls over because she is just that excited. She immediately begins demanding breakfast. She shoves her breakfast in her mouth as fast as she can and runs to come find me for the next step. Usually the first one ready to go, Rhema will turn on the tv or run around aimlessly until everyone else is ready. And for the past few days she has started something new. She has this great lego set. It comes in this cool bag with a handle on it that she can drag around. And for the past few days, less than 5 minutes before we are ready to walk out the door, she drags that cool bag of legos out into the most inconvenient spot in our "high traffic" area, and dumps it all out. So I'm doing Zoe's hair, I'm grabbing bags and snacks and keys and such, I'm ready to leave and I turn around and go flying because there are legos everywhere. My first reaction is, Rhema, why in the world? We are leaving right now. This is not the time or the place for this. And she just looks up at me in her 2-year-old innocence, with this, "what?" look on her face. She has yet to learn where to play with her things and when to do it. I gave her those legos and I am so happy that she loves them. There is nothing wrong with playing with Legos. The WHAT is not the problem. It's just the WHERE and WHEN that's the issue. Most of the time we know the WHAT, but it's just the WHERE and the WHEN that's causes the big mess. 1 Corinthians 13:9-12 says, "For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." See, we only know pieces of the big picture. And putting those pieces together is tricky. And most of the time I feel like I'm carrying around this really cool bag of legos and I'm just not sure what to do next. And when I try to use what God has given me, sometimes I dump it out at the wrong place at the wrong time. And it's because in my imperfections and immaturities, I'm just trying to do my best with what I've got and make something really cool for him. And God in his great love and his endless mercy bends down and helps me pick up the pieces and put them back in the bag. And then he shows me little by little what to do next. And little by little I'm learning where the blocks go and how the pieces fit together. (Can I put major emphasis on the phrase, "little by little"??) In your incredible raw life journey, maybe something you said or did made a huge mess. And you look around and others are tripping over your legos that are spilled all over the kitchen floor. You know what? Pick up the pieces and put them back in the bag and ask the Holy Spirit what to do next. John 16:13 says, "But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and make it known to you." And along your journey, the huge mess that you see will, little by little, become something really, really great.

God-Vision

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 08:48:00 -0700

Do you ever feel like your life is closing in on you? Like a maze that you're going through that someone continues to draw as you trek through totally clueless that the maze you thought would be simple is in fact more complicated than you could have ever thought and may never ever ever end? Well, maybe not, but I definitely do. Wife, mom of 2, full-time minister and leader, support-raising missionary, part-time youth pastor, new job that is increasing in hours, juggling my kids in numerous meetings and dinner appointments, messy messy messy messy apartment that is only clean when someone is "scheduled" to come over... trying to help others reach their goals and dreams without losing myself... and it just keeps going and going and going... sticking my kids in front of the tv to write newsletters, send emails, check budgets.... and on and on and on. And somewhere in the midst of the chaos, having time with Jesus to make sure I'm not spiritually fading away, taking time to date my husband, call my mom, let my big sis know how much I love her, and be a friend to the amazing people around me...
You might be thinking, "Well if you're so busy, how do you have time to write a stupid blog??"
I'm not ranting a list to sound important, because believe me important is not how I usually view myself. And I'm not ranting a list to complain or whine. But I'm attempting to be "authentic" in efforts to relate to so many others who feel the same way I do, like life is not slowing down and not taking no for an answer. And in the midst of us trying our best to live life with no complaints and no regrets, there are so many distractions. And one of the biggest distractions and discouragements for me are facebook statuses. Yes, I said it. You're waiting in line at the bank or on the potty (yes, I said that too) and you begin to scroll through the endless facebook statuses and tweets about everyone's day. And for me it's like reading the paper. It helps me wake up, pass the time in walmart lines, and keep up with people I care about as they too live their busy busy lives. But what we don't realize sometimes is that having everyone's lives (or what they choose to tell you about their lives) at your fingertips is not always healthy. You can easily begin to compare your life to others and feel inadequate, too busy, not busy enough, and simply wanting to kill the whiners. You know, the one's that read, "Just walked around the block and I'm dying!" or "I could use a vacation!!!" when they just had about 10 of them. Now there is nothing wrong with being real or needing a vacation, because we all need to do both in my opinion. But I'm pretty sure that all of us at one time or another have rolled our eyes at someone else because our life if just soooo much harder. Right? Right? Or am I the only one?
And what I'm beginning to realize about the way I see my life and the lives of others is that I see it in Sarah-vision, not God-vision. And if I could see myself and others and the mazes we are all treking through the way God sees it, life could be so much simpler and easier to wrap my mind around. I have a God who gave it all just to be in relationship with me, a Godly man who loves me, 2 healthy and happy kids, amazing pastors who have blessed my socks off and continue to want to do life with me, a crazy amazing group of people who I call church family who want nothing but to know Jesus and make Him famous, a team of young adults on the journey to becoming missionaries who plant churches and change the world, traveling the world with a purpose that is so much bigger than lil'ole me, supporters who believe in us and invest in us to reach the world... and the list goes on and on and on... And isn't this list so much more refreshing than the one I gave earlier? Both lists are very real and very true, but it's the way I view it that makes it what it is. So today, I choose to see my life the way God sees it, with joy, purpose and meaning. And looking forward to the day when I can fully rejoice in our differences, if that day ever comes! :) Join me as I choose to see my life and the lives of others not from my own point of view or my own opinions, but those of our God, the guy who knows and understands everything and sees it for what it really is.

Blog #1!

noreply@blogger.com (sarahbryant) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:15:00 -0700

So I told myself that I would never blog, but I'm blogging. You would think I would learn by now to never say never, but no. Not yet. So here I am. And that's that.
I titled my blog "authenticity" not because I want to get on a soapbox about how we need to all be more authentic, but because it's a journey I am personally going on and one that I actually want to share. I once heard, "Who you are in the dark alone with no one around is who you really are." And if I could remember who said it I would give them credit, because it has stuck with me for years and is changing the very heartbeat of the way I live my life. We have been groomed to smile, perform, serve, tolerate and mind our business, no matter what is almost exploding from within... Who we really are. And where we really are in life. And I want to be me. Regardless. Just me. Because how can God use me if I haven't gotten to that place. That place where you look in the mirror, you really face yourself, and you still want to keep going. That raw place where you're lying on the floor in all your weakness broken before a loving and all-knowing God, and knowing that there's nothing He wouldn't do to still be with you.
Authenticity-- May that be my starting place.