I'M A SONIC BOOMER

Aging Well: Independence Is More Than Living Alone

2026-08-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

In my first post in this series, I promised to explore the issues that concern older adults most and to look not only at what research tells us but also at practical things we can do to age well.

This time, I'd like to look at the second greatest concern identified in National Geographic's Outlook on the Second Half of Life: maintaining our independence.

For many people, independence means living in their own home. While that's certainly part of it, independence is much broader. It means making our own decisions, remaining mobile, managing our daily lives, contributing to our communities, and continuing to enjoy the activities that bring us purpose and joy.

Good health is the foundation of independence.

One participant in the study reflected on how much life expectancy has changed during his lifetime.

"I remember when people retired at 65 and died a couple of years later. Now I'm 70, and life expectancy is much higher. Before COVID, I was still doing CrossFit and kickboxing. If he can do it, I can do it."

His story highlights something important. Our expectations of aging have changed dramatically. Many people today remain active well into their seventies and eighties. They volunteer, travel, learn new skills, care for grandchildren, and continue making valuable contributions to their communities.

Another participant explained that watching family members develop heart disease and other health conditions motivated her to eat well, stay active, and pay attention to her health.

Her story reminds us that while we cannot change our family history, we can influence many of the factors that affect healthy aging.

Research consistently shows that regular physical activity, nutritious food, quality sleep, stress management, and maintaining social connections all contribute to better physical and cognitive health. None of these guarantees perfect health, but together they improve our chances of remaining independent for longer.

One finding from the National Geographic survey surprised me. Although health conditions become more common with age, many older adults actually rate their own health more positively than younger people do. Perhaps that's because health isn't simply the absence of illness. It is the ability to live a meaningful life despite the challenges we face.

Mobility is another essential ingredient of independence.

Walking across a parking lot, climbing stairs, carrying groceries, getting out of a chair, or reaching into a cupboard are tasks we often take for granted, until they become difficult. I understood that at a cognitive level, but not at an emotional one. After my surgery I was immobile for about 12 weeks, I am, at the time of writing, able to get around with an aide. And the end of the need for support is close. But I now have greater empathy for those who cannot see an end.

The good news is that strength and balance can improve at almost any age. Research shows that older adults benefit from regular walking, resistance exercises, stretching, and balance training. Even modest improvements can reduce the risk of falls and help us remain confident and independent.

The key is not becoming an athlete. It is simply continuing to move.

Every walk around the block, every gardening session, every dance class, every swim, and every exercise class is an investment in your future independence.

Healthy aging isn't about avoiding every illness or injury. It's about giving ourselves the best possible chance to continue living life on our own terms.

Independence isn't something we either have or lose overnight. It is built through hundreds of small choices we make every day.

So let me leave you with this question:

What is one habit you could begin this week that your future self will thank you for?

Aging Well: Brain Health, Purpose, and Independence

2026-08-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

In my first post, I asked whether aging is a good thing or a bad thing. The answer, of course, depends on how we approach it. One of the biggest factors influencing our experience of aging is our brain health.

According to National Geographic's Outlook on the Second Half of Life, brain health is the number one concern for people entering the second half of life. Most of us aren't simply worried about forgetting a name or misplacing our keys. We worry because memory loss raises a much larger fear, the possibility of losing our independence.

For many older adults, independence means far more than living alone. It means making our own decisions, staying in our own homes, choosing how we spend our time, and continuing to contribute to the lives of others. The thought of becoming dependent on family or friends is one of the greatest fears many seniors face.

Interestingly, the survey found that brain health isn't just about memory. It is also closely connected to having a sense of purpose.

One participant described watching his father-in-law retire at age 65 after spending most of his life working in a factory.

"He retired at 65 and then he sat in a chair and watched TV. He died two years later. I think he lacked purpose."

The participant went on to explain that he and his wife had chosen a different path. Through their church, they travelled on mission trips to Cambodia, Rwanda, Australia, and China, helping build homes and dig wells. His message was simple: having something meaningful to do gives us a reason to get up every morning.

Purpose doesn't have to involve travelling around the world. It might mean volunteering in your community, mentoring a younger person, caring for grandchildren, joining a choir, learning a new skill, or simply checking in on a neighbour. What matters is having a reason to stay engaged with life.

The survey also uncovered something surprising. Although serious health conditions become more common as we age, people's perception of their own health often improves. That may sound contradictory, but perhaps it reflects a shift in perspective. As we grow older, many of us stop comparing ourselves to our younger selves and instead appreciate what we are still able to do.

Another participant reflected on watching her parents age.

"They lived a good life until their mid-eighties. They were mobile and very independent. That's what I hope for myself."

She also spoke about her father refusing to move in with family because he wanted to maintain his independence. Many older adults share that feeling. Home represents more than a place to live. It represents freedom, dignity, familiarity, and the ability to live life on our own terms, even if that means spending the day in our pajamas.

She also learned another valuable lesson by watching her parents. Health and finances limited some of the opportunities they had hoped to enjoy in retirement. Rather than simply accepting that as inevitable, she decided to prepare differently so those barriers would not stand in her way.

There is an important message in these stories. We cannot control every aspect of aging, but we can influence many of the factors that support healthy brain aging. Staying physically active, challenging our minds, nurturing friendships, managing chronic health conditions, getting enough sleep, and finding meaningful ways to contribute all help keep both our brains and our spirits healthy.

Perhaps the greatest lesson is this: brain health is about much more than preventing memory loss. It is about preserving the things that make life worth living, our independence, our relationships, and our sense of purpose.

Growing older doesn't mean we stop contributing. In many ways, it gives us the opportunity to contribute in new and meaningful ways.

As you look ahead to the years to come, what gives you a reason to get up each morning, and what could you do today to strengthen that sense of purpose?

Is Aging a Good Thing or a Bad Thing a different take

2026-08-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

The Optimist and the Pessimist Walk Into a Senior Centre...

Or: Why Growing Old Beats, the Heck Out of the Alternative

Optimist: (bouncing in, coffee in hand) Good morning! Isn't it a beautiful day?

Pessimist: (gripping their coffee like a lifeline) It's raining.

Optimist: It's refreshing! Besides, I heard that phrase again yesterday, you know the one: "Growing old is a privilege denied to many." It's true, isn't it?

Pessimist: (sighs) You and that phrase. I've heard you say it a hundred times.

Optimist: That's because it's true a hundred times! My knees hurt, my back complains, I can't remember where I put my glasses, and I'm still happier than I was at forty.

Pessimist: You're ten years younger than me. You haven't seen the really good stuff yet. Just wait.

Optimist: I've been waiting for twenty years! And what I've learned is that perspective is the one thing youth just cannot buy. A man in his forties said it perfectly: "You understand a little more, you get wiser as you age."

Pessimist: A man in his forties is a child. What does he know?

Optimist: More than we did at forty, that's for sure. And a woman in her nineties, her nineties!, said, "It can be good if you have the right attitude." She accepts her limitations and still cherishes each day. She's got about thirty years on you, and she's not complaining.

Pessimist: I'm not complaining. I'm being realistic. Health deteriorates. Memory deteriorates. The ability to do things deteriorates. A man in his fifties said exactly that.

Optimist: I love that you remember that quote. Maybe your memory isn't as bad as you think. But seriously, I'd rather be a slower-moving, sometimes-forgetful, creaky-kneed optimist than a thirty-year-old pessimist who thinks he has it all figured out.

Pessimist: Fine. So what's your brilliant plan for dealing with all this "deterioration"?

Optimist: I'll tell you. But first, let me ask you something. When National Geographic asked people what they worry about most in the second half of life, do you know what the top three were?

Pessimist: Let me guess. Money.

Optimist: Nope.

Pessimist: Health?

Optimist: Sort of. Brain health came first, 54% of people said that's their biggest concern. Maintaining independence was second at 53%. And relationships were third at 50%.

Pessimist: See? I was right. Health and independence. It's all downhill from here.

Optimist: Or, and hear me out, we could focus on what we can do rather than what we can't. We can keep our minds sharp. We can stay independent longer. We can build relationships that matter. Aging is not a problem to be solved. It's a chapter to be lived.

Pessimist: (sighs again) You always see the glass half full.

Optimist: The glass is half full of coffee. And it's still warm. That's a win in my book.

Pessimist: (almost smiling) You know, you're exhausting.

Optimist: I'll take that as a compliment. So, are you coming to the chair yoga class later, or are you going to sit here and complain about your knees?

Pessimist: I don't do chair yoga.

Optimist: You will. I bought you a spot. It's a gift.

Pessimist: I don't accept gifts from optimists. They always come with strings attached.

Optimist: The string is that you have to show up and try not to enjoy it.

Pessimist: (grumbling) I suppose I could try it. Once.

Optimist: That's the spirit! One class, one laugh, one stubborn refusal to give in to the gloom. You're practically a convert already.

Pessimist: Don't push it.

Optimist: Wouldn't dream of it. But just so you know, I'm going to keep reminding you that growing old is a privilege. Not because it's easy. Because it means we're still here. And as long as we're still here, we can still choose how we live.

Pessimist: (muttering) I'll bring my own coffee.

Optimist: I knew you'd come around. Took you thirty years, but I knew you'd come around.

If you are reading this and you are the pessimist in your own life, take heart. The optimist is not ignoring reality. They are choosing to see it differently.

Aging is not a problem to be solved. It is a chapter to be lived. And the best part? You get to choose what kind of older person you want to become. The aches? They are temporary. The wisdom? That is permanent. And every birthday is a reminder that you still have time to learn, to love, and to laugh, usually at yourself.

Now go find your own optimist. Or be one. The coffee is always better that way

A sense of awe and wonder is important

2026-08-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

A sense of awe and wonder was an important part of my childhood, but somewhere along life's journey, I lost it.

I remember lying on the grass for hours, watching clouds drift across the sky. One moment I could see a sailing ship, the next a giant dog or a smiling face. The wind would change, and a new picture would appear. I was completely absorbed by the experience.

As I grew older and became focused on work, ambition, and the responsibilities of everyday life, I slowly misplaced that sense of wonder. When my children were young, I rediscovered it. Seeing the world through their eyes reminded me to stop, notice, and appreciate the little miracles around us. I hope I also helped them keep the sense of awe that fuels curiosity throughout life.

Now, in my 80th year, I am grateful to have found that sense of wonder again.

While thinking about this topic, I came across a quote that caught my attention:

"Practicing awe quiets the inner critic, elevates your vagal tone, reduces stress, deepens connection, and improves long-term markers of brain health."

I wasn't familiar with the term vagal tone, so I looked it up. Vagal tone refers to how well the vagus nerve functions. This nerve is a key part of the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps regulate heart rate, digestion, immune function, and our body's ability to recover from stress.

A healthy vagal tone contributes to better emotional regulation, a steadier heart rate, improved digestion, and greater resilience. Fortunately, it can be strengthened through regular exercise, slow breathing, mindfulness, meditation, and yes, even moments of awe.

The real skill isn't finding awe. It's learning to notice it.

We live in a world that constantly competes for our attention. News alerts, deadlines, and endless distractions keep our minds racing. Awe interrupts that cycle. Research shows it can calm the mind, relax the body, reduce stress, and strengthen our sense of connection with both nature and other people.

The wonderful thing is that awe isn't reserved for extraordinary experiences. It can be found in a single leaf glowing in the sunlight, the kindness of a stranger, a favourite piece of music, or the colours of the evening sky. We simply need to slow down long enough to notice.

Here are a few simple ways to invite more awe into your daily life.

Take a walk in nature. Instead of rushing, pause to notice the details, the pattern on a leaf, the shape of a tree, the colours of a flower, or the sound of birds.

Spend a few minutes stargazing. You don't need a telescope. Looking up at the vastness of the night sky is often enough to remind us how remarkable our world really is.

Practice mindful observation. Sit quietly in your backyard, a park, or beside a window. Focus on one sense at a time. Listen carefully to the sounds around you. Notice the colours and movement you see. Breathe in the scents of the season.

I've also found it helpful to pause several times each day and appreciate something small, a wildflower growing through a crack in the sidewalk, the changing colours of a sunset, or the intricate design of a flower. These moments take only seconds, but they stay with us.

Keeping an awe journal can deepen the experience. Write down the moments that surprised or inspired you. The value isn't simply recording them; it's returning later to reflect on what you saw, heard, or felt. Those reflections often reveal just how much beauty surrounds us.

Awe can also be found in people. Witnessing an act of kindness, volunteering in your community, attending a concert or art exhibit, cheering with others at a sporting event, or listening to someone share an inspiring story can all awaken that same feeling of wonder and connection.

The more we notice these moments, the more they seem to appear.

For me, experiencing awe means looking at the world through the eyes of a child, not because we ignore life's challenges, but because we choose to remain curious, grateful, and open to the beauty that surrounds us every day.

When was the last time you stopped, looked closely, and allowed yourself to be filled with wonder?

Why Canadians Are Retiring Later, And What It Means for You

2026-08-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

If you are 55 or older, you have probably noticed something: retirement does not look the same as it did for your parents. And you are not imagining it.

The numbers tell a clear story. In the late 1970s, the average Canadian retired around age 65. By the late 1990s, that number had dropped to about 61. But something happened along the way. The trend reversed. In 2025, the average retirement age hit 65.4 years, 66.2 for men and 64.5 for women.

So, what changed? And what does it mean for you? There is no single reason. A few different forces are at work.

Women's working lives have changed. Today's older women have spent much more of their lives in the workforce than previous generations. They have stronger pensions, more career experience, and often coordinate their retirement plans with their partners. That has shifted the average retirement age upward.

There are fewer younger workers. With lower birth rates and slower immigration, employers have fewer young people to hire. That means they are hanging on to experienced older workers longer, and valuing the skills they bring.

Jobs are less physically demanding. Canada's economy has shifted toward service, professional, and knowledge-based work. In many of these jobs, experience and skill are assets that grow with age. You do not have to retire just because your body is tired.

We are living longer and healthier lives. If you are in your mid-60s today, you can expect another 20 to 30 years, most of them in decent health. That changes the equation. Retirement is no longer a short breather before the end. It is a long chapter, and many people want it to be meaningful.

Retirement is becoming a process, not an event. More and more people are easing into retirement, working part-time, consulting, or shifting to self-employment rather than stopping work altogether. It is less "the day I left the office" and more "the years I figured out what was next."

Attitudes have shifted. Mandatory retirement is mostly gone. Employers and governments are paying more attention to age discrimination. That does not mean it has disappeared, but it is harder to force someone out just because of their age.

If you are 55 or older, these changes affect you in several ways.

First, the financial system was built for a different world. Most of Canada's retirement income programs were designed when retirement was shorter, workplace pensions were more common, and very few people worked past 65. That world no longer exists.

Second, retirement is not one-size-fits-all. Some people work longer because they want to, they enjoy their work, find it meaningful, or want to stay engaged. Others work longer because they have to, their savings are not enough, and they need the income.

Third, there are quirks in the system that can discourage you from working. For example, the Guaranteed Income Supplement (GIS) has earnings rules that can penalize low-income seniors who continue to work. That is something worth understanding if it applies to you.

The most important thing is to stay informed. Know what your options are. Understand how CPP, OAS, and GIS work. Talk to a financial advisor if you can. And do not assume that the retirement your parents had is the retirement you will have.

The good news is that you have more choices than earlier generations. You can work longer if you want to. You can ease into retirement gradually. You can stay engaged in meaningful work, paid or unpaid.

But the system is not always friendly to those choices. So pay attention, ask questions, and do not be afraid to advocate for yourself.

We are living longer. We are staying healthier. We are working differently. These are good things, but they also mean the old rules no longer apply.

Your retirement does not have to look like your parents'. It should look like yours. And that means understanding the world as it is now, not as it used to be.

This article is based on an analysis by Peter Hicks, a policy adviser and former Assistant Deputy Minister with Social Development Canada, and John Stapleton, Social Policy, Ageing and Well-being Policy Fellow at the National Institute on Ageing. Their work highlights the need to rethink Canada's retirement income system for a new era.

A package arrived a new scam is here

2026-08-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

The following is from The Current, by Kim Komando at Komando.com

Brush with danger

A box shows up on your porch. Your name, your address, no receipt, no sender. Inside: a seed packet, a cheap ring, one sad pasta strainer.

You didn’t order it. So, who did? A scammer, and here’s the kicker: The package isn’t a scam. YOU are the product.

It’s called a brushing scam. Sketchy online sellers need glowing “verified purchase” reviews to climb the rankings. They buy your name and address (data breaches are the gift that keeps on giving), ship you something that costs them pennies, and boom, the system sees a real delivery to a real customer. Then they write a 5-star review of their junk product. Signed, basically, by you.

The U.S. Postal Inspection Service says it plainly: It’s illegal, and if you’re getting these boxes, your personal information is compromised. Not “might be.” Is.

Lately these packages come with a little card: “Scan this QR code to see who sent your gift!” The FBI put out a formal alert about this one. That code can send you to a phishing site that harvests your card number, or it could push malware onto your phone. Curiosity is what they’re counting on.

The package is bait. The QR code is the hook. Don’t be the fish.

✅ Got one? Do this.

Keep it, toss it or donate it. Guilt-free. Federal law says unordered merchandise is yours to keep as a free gift. You owe nobody a dime.

Do NOT scan any QR code or visit any website printed inside. And never pay a “shipping fee” to claim a mystery gift.

Change the password on your Amazon and shopping accounts, and turn on two-factor authentication while you’re in there. If a scammer has your address, assume they’ve shopped for more.

Check your accounts for reviews you didn’t write and orders you didn’t place. Report fakes to the retailer. Amazon has a dedicated brushing report page.

Watch your credit at all three bureaus, plus card statements for small test charges.

Summer Activities for Seniors

2026-08-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

Older adults have different needs during the summer than other age groups. For example, they are at increased risk of dehydration and sunburn. If you’ll be enjoying outdoor activities with an older adult this year, be sure to take the following precautions:

Plan outside activities during cooler hours (between ten and four are generally the warmest).
Have your loved one drink plenty of fluids. Non-alcoholic and caffeine-free beverages are the most hydrating.
Replace any lost electrolytes and potassium. Electrolytes can be found in sports drinks, and many fruits and vegetables contain potassium.
Apply (and re-apply) sunscreen as needed.
Wear insect repellent, if necessary.

Also, certain medications don’t mix well with the sun, so make sure that seniors speak with their physician about any potential concerns. They may want you to take extra precautions such as sticking to the shade or wearing a floppy hat. Read more about how you can beat the heat!

Warm August evenings in Canada are the perfect time to savour the last flicker of summer heat before the familiar honking of migrating geese fill the skies.

Summertime livin’ is easy, and fun, when you join exciting summer activities in your community.

Sing Round the Campfire!

A study found that singing was instrumental in improving the brain functionality of those diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and aphasia. However, singing holds far more benefits to senior health!

Singing can provide seniors with the opportunity to network and engage socially. Singing is also a great aerobic activity that produces oxygen in the blood, improves circulation and deep breathing, reduces stress and induces “feel good” hormones.

Gather your family, friends and neighbours and organize a sing along around a campfire—Note if there are fire restrictions create a fake fire and still sing along around it. Someone you know will bring a guitar and someone will bring refreshments and snacks. All it takes is for you to reach out.

Go for a Swim!

Summer activities for seniors that take place in water reduce the risk of injury by lessening joint impact. Water-based summer activities for seniors are also a great exercise option for those with arthritis or stiff joints. Seniors can float, swim, or take part in a light water aerobics class.

Drop-in programs are operating in all senior centers for the summer. Here are some of the drop-in programs we offer. Your community center will offer many of these or more. For fun in summer check out your local senior center.

Welcome! We offer social activities to encourage our older adults & seniors (60+) to get involved. Our goal is to meet the needs & interests of you through social recreation opportunities.

We hope you find some fun, memorable times through our recreation programs and events!

Open Games Room

For those 60+, feel free to gather some friends, work on a puzzle, or enjoy a game of Scrabble, cards or Mahjong! We have wide selection of board games and puzzles available to enjoy in either the Game Room or the Wilson Lounge.

Birthday Social Decades and Eras

Join us as we take a trip through time to celebrate birthdays in July & August! From the roaring 20s to the groovy 70s and be-yond, we're turning back the clock for a party that spans the best of every era. Get ready for an afternoon full of music, memories, and fun! Members with birthdays in July & August register for FREE.

60+ Drop-Ins

Monday

Snooker 9:00am - 12:00pm, Twisted Stitches 12:30pm - 2:30pm, Canasta 1:00pm - 3:30pm, Ukulele 1:00pm - 3:00pm, Duplicate Bridge 5:30pm - 9:00pm. Table Tennis 7:00pm - 9:00pm

Tuesday

Snooker 9:00am - 12:00pm, Table Tennis 9:00am - 12:00pm, Guitar 11:15am - 2:00pm, Eight Ball 12:00pm - 2:30pm, Carpet Bowling 12:30pm - 3:00pm

Wednesday

Snooker 9:00am - 12:00pm, Table Tennis 9:00am - 12:00pm, Sewing 10:00am - 2:00pm, *Bingo 1:00pm - 3:00pm

Wednesday

Snooker 9:00am - 12:00pm, Table Tennis 9:00am - 12:00pm, Sewing 10:00am - 2:00pm, *Bingo 1:00pm - 3:00pm

Thursday

Snooker 9:00am - 12:00pm, Table Tennis 9:00am - 12:00pm, Eight Ball 12:00pm - 2:30pm, Canasta 12:00pm - 2:30pm

Friday

Snooker 9:00am - 12:00pm, Table Tennis 9:00am - 12:00pm, Bridge w/o partners 12:00pm - 3:00pm \, Carpet Bowling 12:30pm - 3:00pm

Saturday

Snooker 9:00am - 12:00pm, Table Tennis 9:00am - 12:00pm, Euchre-Tupper 9:30am - 12:00pm, Art Drop In 10:00am - 1:00pm

Tend Your Garden

Between digging, weeding, and cutting plants, gardening is one of the best summer activities for seniors because it is exercise disguised as leisure. Plus, seniors can socialize as they plant or tend to flowers and vegetables.

Residents can use the produce in their own kitchens, or partner with the foodservice team to incorporate the fruits (and vegetables) of their labour to the foodbank.

Happy Anniversary to my wife, thank you for all you do.

2026-08-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrate our 57th wedding anniversary, and as I reflect on the journey we've shared, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. We've known each other for more than 60 years, and from the moment we met, I knew there was something special about you. Your warmth, kindness, sense of humour, and beautiful heart captured mine, and I have never looked back.

Over the years, we've celebrated wonderful highs and weathered more than our share of challenges. In the good times we laughed until our sides hurt, and in the difficult times we leaned on each other, shed a few tears, and found the strength to keep moving forward. Every experience has woven another thread into the life we've built together, making our bond even stronger.

You have always been the heart of our family. Your quiet strength, endless patience, and unwavering love have touched not only me but our children, our grandson, and everyone fortunate enough to know you. You have a remarkable way of making people feel welcomed, valued, and loved.

As we celebrate this milestone, I want you to know that you are still my best friend, my greatest blessing, and the person I most enjoy sharing life with. I treasure the memories we've made and look forward to creating many more, whether they're grand adventures or simply quiet moments together.

Happy 57th Anniversary, my love. Thank you for saying "yes" all those years ago, for walking beside me through every season of life, and for making every day brighter simply by being you.

I love you more today than ever. Here's to the next chapter, still hand in hand, still making memories, and still laughing together.

What You Can Do Right Now

2026-08-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

Here is the good news: photosensitivity reactions can be significantly reduced by using proper photoprotection. You do not have to stay indoors all summer. You just need to be smart about it.

1. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist. Do not stop taking any medication without professional advice. But do ask: "Could any of my medications make me more sensitive to the sun?" If the answer is yes, ask for specific guidance on how to protect yourself.

2. Check your medications. Look at the labels of your prescription and over-the-counter medications. If you are unsure, your pharmacist can help.

3. Limit sun exposure during peak hours. The sun is strongest between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.. Plan outdoor activities for early morning or late afternoon.

4. Cover up. Wear lightweight, long-sleeved shirts, wide-brimmed hats, and UV-protective clothing.

5. Use sunscreen, and use it properly. Choose a broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30. Apply it generously to all exposed skin, and reapply every two hours or after swimming or sweating.

6. Stay in the shade. When possible, enjoy the outdoors from under a tree, an umbrella, or a covered patio.

A Simple Rule to Remember

Here is the bottom line: if you are taking any medication regularly, and you plan to spend time in the sun, have a conversation with your healthcare provider first.

It takes five minutes. It could save you from a painful sunburn, a nasty rash, or worse.

Summer is too short to spend it indoors. But it is also too short to spend it dealing with a preventable skin reaction. Be smart. Be safe. And enjoy the sunshine, with your eyes wide open.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult your physician or pharmacist before making any changes to your medications or sun exposure habits

When Your Medication and the Sun Don't Mix: A Summer Warning for Seniors

2026-08-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

There is nothing quite like a warm summer day, the sun on your face, a gentle breeze, the scent of freshly cut grass. It is what we wait for all year.

But here is something many seniors do not know some of the most common medications taken by older adults can turn a pleasant day in the sun into a painful, damaging experience.

It is called photosensitivity , a negative reaction of the skin to ultraviolet (UV) rays. In plain language, certain drugs make your skin extra sensitive to sunlight. A few minutes in the garden, a short walk to the mailbox, or an afternoon on the patio can result in a severe sunburn, an itchy rash, or even blisters.

And here is the part that should get your attention: a recent study found that more than one-fifth of all drugs used by seniors have the potential to cause photosensitivity reactions. Many seniors are taking three to five such medications at the same time.

If you are one of them, you need to know which medications are the culprits, and you need to talk to your doctor or pharmacist before heading outdoors.

The Top Five Medications That Don't Mix With Sun

1. Diuretics ("Water Pills")

Diuretics like hydrochlorothiazide and furosemide are commonly prescribed for high blood pressure and heart failure. They are among the most frequently cited photosensitizers. A study of older adults found that hydrochlorothiazide was one of the drugs most commonly associated with photosensitivity reactions.

What to watch for: If you take a diuretic and spend time in the sun, you may notice a rash or sunburn-like reaction on exposed skin, sometimes even after brief exposure.

2. Antibiotics (Especially Tetracyclines and Quinolones)

Certain antibiotics are notorious for causing sun sensitivity. Doxycycline (a tetracycline) and ciprofloxacin (a quinolone) are among the most common offenders. These medications can make your skin sunburn much more quickly than usual.

What to watch for: Even a short time in the sun can cause a severe, painful sunburn. The reaction can happen within hours of exposure.

3. NSAIDs (Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs)

Over-the-counter pain relievers like ibuprofen (Advil) and naproxen (Aleve), as well as prescription-strength NSAIDs like ketoprofen, can increase sun sensitivity. In fact, one study found that ketoprofen caused the highest number of photosensitivity reactions of any drug.

What to watch for: These drugs can cause both phototoxic reactions (like a severe sunburn) and photoallergic reactions (an itchy, rash-like response).

4. Cholesterol-Lowering Statins

Statins like atorvastatin (Lipitor) and simvastatin (Zocor) are among the most widely prescribed medications in Canada. Both have been linked to photosensitivity reactions. A study of older adults found that atorvastatin and simvastatin were associated with cutaneous adverse reactions to sunlight.

What to watch for: If you take a statin and notice unusual redness, itching, or a rash after being in the sun, your medication may be the cause.

5. Diabetes Medications (Sulfonylureas)

Medications for type 2 diabetes, such as glipizide and glyburide, can also increase sun sensitivity. These drugs are commonly prescribed to seniors and are often overlooked as a cause of sun-related skin reactions.

What to watch for: A sunburn or rash that seems out of proportion to your sun exposure could be related to your diabetes medication.

Why Seniors Are Especially at Risk

Older adults are more vulnerable to drug-induced photosensitivity for several reasons. Many of us take multiple medications, increasing the chance that one or more of them is a photosensitizer. As we age, our skin becomes thinner and more fragile, making it more susceptible to damage. And, perhaps most importantly, many of us simply do not know that their medications put them at risk

Punnny things to do in August

2026-08-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

Back in July I posted about the dangers of heat. So, this month, I am following up withh a more humourous look at how we can beat the heat.

Beating the August heat is all about staying fan-tastic and keeping your cool! 🍦 Whether you are grabbing the inside scoop on ice cream or relaxing in the shade-tacular AC, our seniors know how to summer right. Check out our favorite ways to stay chilled this month!

1. I heard about an ATM that got addicted to money. It suffered from withdrawals

2. Water you waiting for? Keep sipping that ice water!

3. This August, hydration is absolute-cool-ly necessary.

4. Seniors know how to make a splash at the water dispenser.

5. Juice do it—stay hydrated all day long!

6. Ice water is truly a tea-riffic way to beat the heat.

7. Don't be mello, keep that watermelon chilling in the fridge.

8. I’m a huge fan of staying indoors during August.

9. AC units are truly a senior's coolest companion.

10. Grandpa is just chillin' like a villain next to the vent.

11. This heatwave is fan-tastic motivation to stay inside.

12. We're just breezing through the dog days of summer.

13. Keep calm and carry a fan wherever you go.

14. Water aerobics? That sounds absolutely splendid.

15. Seniors in the pool are always looking pool-charming.

16. Don't hide inside, just dive into a cool pool.

17. Floating in the water is a re-leaf from the heat.

18. Keep your cool and just keep swimming.

19. This summer pool party is going swimming-ly.

20. Seniors wearing sunglasses look bright and beautiful.

21. That sun hat is totally shade-tacular!

22. Sandal season is a sole-ful time of year.

23. Linen shirts are a breeze to wear in August.

24. We're staying sharp while staying in the shade.

25. Those shades are looking spec-tacular on you!

26. You are never too old for a cold scoop of ice cream.

27. Seniors know the inside scoop on staying cool.

28. Life is sweet when you have a popsicle in hand.

29. Ice cream cones are a cool way to celebrate August.

30. We’re just sundae-ing around in the air conditioning.

31. Anything is popsicle when you stay out of the sun.

32. Sherbet, you didn't know seniors could chill this well!

"Now it’s your turn! How are you keeping cool during these dog days of August? Drop your favorite heat-wave survival tips, or your best summer puns, in the comments below! 👇☀️

What's Your Retirement Worth to You? A Friendly Chat About Pensions

2026-08-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Let me ask you something that I ask my son and my daughter from time to time. If your employer offered you a choice between a slightly bigger paycheck today or a pension that would pay you a steady income for the rest of your life when you retire, which would you choose?

If you're like most Canadians, you'd probably take the pension. And here's the thing, you'd be willing to give up a surprising amount of your paycheck to get it.

Back in the early 2000s,when I retired things were different, the average private-sector worker was willing to sacrifice about 3.3% of their earnings to land a job with a pension. Fast forward to today, and that number has tripled to just over 10%. Let's put that in perspective. My son and my daughters are willing to take a pay cut to work for an employer who has a pension. This means that for someone earning $60,000 a year, that's like saying, "I'd willingly take home $6,000 less every year if it meant I'd have a secure retirement."

That's not a small decision. That's a loud, clear message from Canadian workers: we are worried about retirement, and we're willing to pay real money to feel less worried.

The really fascinating part? Over the same period, private-sector pension offerings have been heading in the opposite direction. Fewer employers are offering pensions, and the ones that do are increasingly moving away from the old-fashioned "defined benefit" plans, the ones that guarantee you a set monthly income for life.

If you're in your 40s or 50s, like my children, you're right in the middle of this shift. You're close enough to retirement to be thinking seriously about it, but you still have time to do something about it.

Here's what the research tells us:

1. Pensions help you stay put. Workers with a traditional defined benefit pension are roughly 40% less likely to change jobs each year than workers without one. That's good for employers who want to keep experienced staff, but it also means you need to think carefully about what you're trading when you switch jobs.

2. Not all pensions are created equal. A defined benefit plan, the kind that promises you a specific monthly amount in retirement, is the gold standard. I was lucky that was the pension plan I had. Defined contribution plans, where you and your employer contribute to an account that you then manage yourself, are more common now but put more responsibility on your shoulders.

3. Saving on your own is hard. Without an employer pension, you have to figure it all out yourself. How much to save. Where to invest. How to make it last. Some people can manage that, but it's not easy. It requires a level of financial literacy that many of us simply don't have.

Here's the good news: you're not powerless. There are practical steps you can take, starting today.

Talk to your employer. If your company offers a pension plan, find out what kind it is and how it works. If they don't offer one, ask why. Many employers are open to discussing benefits if they know their employees care about them.

If you're self-employed or your employer doesn't offer a plan, start your own. RRSPs and TFSAs are powerful tools. You don't need to be a financial genius to use them, you just need to start.

Don't go it alone. A financial advisor can help you figure out what you need and how to get there. The cost of advice is almost always worth it.

Yes, there are government programs like the Canada Pension Plan and Old Age Security. They're important, and they'll help. But they're designed to provide a basic income floor, not to replace your entire working income. For most people, they won't be enough on their own.

If you're in a low-income job, these programs become even more important. They're there to help ensure that no one falls through the cracks. But for everyone else, the responsibility for a comfortable retirement falls largely on you, and on what your employer is willing to offer.

Here's the bottom line. Canadian workers have been sending a clear message for two decades: we value retirement security enough to sacrifice today's income for tomorrow's peace of mind. That message matters. It should matter to employers, and it should matter to policymakers.

But most of all, it should matter to you.

If you're in your 40s or 50s, you still have time. You still have options. You still have the power to shape your retirement future. But you need to start now. Have the conversation. Do the math. Make the plan.

Because the best time to start planning for retirement was twenty years ago. The second-best time is today.

Key Takeaways

1. Workers are willing to give up 10% of their pay for a pension, What You Can Do: Ask your employer what pension options are available

2. Traditional pensions are becoming rarer What You Can Do: If your employer doesn't offer a plan, start your own RRSP or TFSA

3. Saving without a plan is hard What You Can Do: Talk to a financial advisor

4. Government programs help but aren't enough on their own What You Can Do: Don't rely solely on CPP and OAS, supplement them with your own savings

The message to employers and government is clear: workers want retirement security What You Can Do: Advocate for better pension options in your workplace

Your Brain Loves Music More Than You Think

2026-08-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

We often think of music as entertainment.

Something to fill the silence while driving.

Background noise while cleaning the house.

A companion on a walk.

But what if music is doing far more than simply keeping us company?

Every time we hear a familiar song, our brain lights up in extraordinary ways. Areas responsible for memory, emotion, movement, attention, and even pain all become active. Few activities engage so many parts of the brain at the same time.

That's one reason music has become an important tool in hospitals, rehabilitation centres, and memory care programs around the world.

Think about people living with dementia. Someone who struggles to remember what they had for breakfast may suddenly remember every word of a favourite song from fifty years ago. We know the value of music and that is why we run the Musical Café for Dementia patients and their caregivers. Once a month we see families and caregivers who are amazed when a loved one who has become quiet suddenly begins singing with confidence.

Music reaches places that ordinary conversation sometimes cannot.

It works because memories connected with music are stored differently than many everyday facts. Songs become woven together with emotions, relationships, and important life events. When we hear them again, the brain retrieves far more than a melody, it retrieves pieces of our lives.

For those of us who are aging but remain healthy, that's wonderful news.

Listening to music can lower stress, improve mood, encourage movement, reduce feelings of isolation, and even make physical discomfort seem less overwhelming. No wonder so many fitness classes, walking groups, and rehabilitation programs include music as part of the experience.

Have you ever noticed that walking feels easier when your favourite upbeat song comes on?

Or that household chores seem to finish themselves when you're singing along?

That's because rhythm helps organize movement. Before you know it, you've walked farther, cleaned longer, or exercised more than you intended.

Even emotional pain often softens under the influence of music.

After the loss of someone we love, there are songs that make us cry, and strangely enough, those same songs often help us heal. Music gives us permission to feel our emotions without being overwhelmed by them.

It's almost like having a trusted friend sitting beside us without saying a word.

One of my favourite descriptions of music's effect is this: "Your nervous system is having a meltdown and your playlist says, 'Let's not make this a whole thing.'"

That's funny because it's true.

Music reminds the brain that not every signal deserves an emergency response. It creates space between discomfort and distress. That space may only last three or four minutes, the length of a favourite son, but sometimes that's enough to change the direction of an entire day.

As we grow older, we spend a great deal of time looking after our physical health. We schedule appointments, take medications, stretch aching muscles, and try to eat better.

Perhaps we should pay just as much attention to feeding our minds.

A favourite playlist costs nothing. Singing in the car doesn't require a prescription. Dancing around the living room may not win any competitions, but it might lift your spirits in ways that surprise you.

Music won't stop us from growing older.

But it can make the journey lighter.

It can remind us ,who we've been, reconnect us with people we've loved, and help us face today's challenges with a little more joy than yesterday.

That sounds like a pretty good investment for something that begins with pressing one simple button.

So today, don't just listen to music. Let it become part of your wellness routine. Your body may appreciate it—but your brain will thank you even more.

Here's a challenge: What would happen if you replaced just thirty minutes of television or social media each day with music that lifts your spirits? Try it for a week and see whether your mood, your energy, or even your aches feel a little different.

More Than a Soundtrack: How Music Can Help Ease Pain

2026-08-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that when your favourite song comes on, something changes?

Your shoulders relax. Your breathing slows. Your foot starts tapping before you even realize it. For a few moments, whatever was bothering you doesn't seem quite so overwhelming.

That isn't just your imagination. Science has been telling us for years that music has a remarkable ability to reduce our perception of physical pain.

Notice the wording: our perception of pain.

Music doesn't magically heal a sore knee, repair an arthritic shoulder, or erase the stiffness that often greets us every morning. The injury or condition is still there. But music changes how the brain interprets the signals coming from the body. Instead of focusing every ounce of attention on discomfort, the brain shares its attention with rhythm, melody, lyrics, and memories.

It's a little like having an annoying passenger on a long road trip. They don't get out of the car, but someone starts telling a fascinating story, and suddenly the annoying passenger isn't the centre of your attention anymore.

Our brains are wonderfully complicated.

Pain isn't simply something that happens in a sore joint or aching muscle. Pain is an experience created by the brain after it receives information from nerves throughout the body. Mood, stress, anxiety, fatigue, and even loneliness all influence how intense that experience becomes.

Music can interrupt that cycle.

Researchers have found that listening to music can stimulate the release of dopamine, our "feel-good" neurotransmitter. It can also reduce stress hormones like cortisol and encourage relaxation. When we're calmer, our muscles often relax, our breathing becomes deeper, and the nervous system stops sounding quite so many alarms.

As one humorous saying puts it, "Your nervous system is having a meltdown and your playlist is there saying, 'Let's not make this a whole thing.'"

There is more truth in that sentence than you might think.

Many older adults already use music without realizing its therapeutic value. They hum while gardening, sing in the shower, play old records while cooking, or turn on familiar tunes during a walk around the neighbourhood. Those aren't just pleasant habits. They're simple forms of self-care.

Think about someone living with arthritis. Mornings can be particularly difficult. Before reaching immediately for the television or scrolling through the news, imagine beginning the day with thirty minutes of favourite songs from the 1960s or 1970s. The body may still be stiff, but the mind begins the day somewhere much brighter.

Or consider someone recovering from surgery or physiotherapy. Gentle music during stretching exercises often makes the activity feel more manageable. The exercises haven't changed, but the experience has.

I've also noticed that music has an amazing ability to transport us. One song can take us back to a first dance, a family camping trip, a high school graduation, or a summer afternoon that seemed to last forever. Those memories bring emotions that are every bit as healing as the melodies themselves.

Perhaps that's why music has accompanied humanity through every stage of life. We celebrate with it, mourn with it, exercise with it, worship with it, and relax with it.

Maybe we've known all along that music heals, not always the body, but often the person living inside it.

The next time your body reminds you that you're no longer twenty-five, don't underestimate the power of pressing "Play." It won't solve everything, but it might make the journey a little easier and a lot more enjoyable.

So, here's something to try this week: create a playlist of ten songs that have made you smile at different stages of your life. Listen to it when discomfort starts creeping in and notice what changes—not just in your body, but in your mood. You might discover that some of the best medicine has been sitting in your music collection all along.

I wonder: If someone asked you to choose the ten songs that tell the story of your life, which one would you play first, and why?

The Privilege of Becoming Elderly

2026-08-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

I received a version of this from one of my board members who is more than a decade older than I am. In six years, she will celebrate her 100^th birthday. She has a wonderful outlook on life. Here is my interpretation of what she sent me.

We are often called the elderly. Some people say the word quietly, almost as if it should be softened or avoided. Yet perhaps it is time to reclaim it. Growing old is inevitable. Becoming elderly is a privilege earned by those fortunate enough to live long enough to wear the title.

To become elderly is not a misfortune. It is an achievement.

Not everyone is given the privilege of living long enough to earn that title. Behind the word elderly are decades of laughter and tears, victories and disappointments, hard work, family, friendships, mistakes, and second chances. Every wrinkle tells a story. Every gray hair represents another season lived.

If you look closely, you might notice slower steps or hands that no longer move as quickly as they once did. But if you truly listen, you will discover something remarkable. We are not simply older people. We are living witnesses to history.

We are the generation that experienced one of the greatest periods of change humanity has ever known. We grew up in an analog world and learned to thrive in a digital one. We watched communities rebuild after war, celebrated humanity's first steps on the Moon, adapted to computers, embraced the internet, learned to use smartphones, and now witness the arrival of artificial intelligence.

Few generations can say they have lived through such extraordinary change.

Our childhoods were built outdoors, where friendships were formed on sidewalks, in schoolyards, and around kitchen tables. We learned patience by waiting for letters to arrive, resilience by solving problems without Google, and gratitude by making the most of what we had. Entertainment came from imagination as much as technology.

As adults, we built careers, raised families, cared for aging parents, welcomed grandchildren, and adapted to every new invention the world placed before us. We did not resist change—we learned, adjusted, and kept moving forward.

Along the way we witnessed medical breakthroughs that conquered diseases once feared by every family. We saw transportation evolve, communication become instantaneous, and information become available to almost anyone with the touch of a screen.

Yet through every revolution, some things never changed.

We still know the value of keeping our word. We understand the importance of showing up for family and neighbours. We remember conversations without interruptions, handwritten thank-you notes, gardens that supplied the dinner table, and communities where people looked after one another.

These are not old-fashioned ideas. They are timeless ones.

Being elderly does not mean living in the past. It means carrying the past into the future. It means offering perspective when the world feels rushed, reminding younger generations that wisdom often comes from experience, not speed.

We have celebrated births, mourned loved ones, overcome setbacks, adapted to change, and continued to find reasons to laugh. We have learned that life is rarely perfect, but it is always worth living.

So, when someone calls us elderly, perhaps we should simply smile.

Because elderly means we have endured. It means we have adapted. It means we have contributed. It means we have lived long enough to accumulate something no technology can create and no amount of money can buy, wisdom born from experience.

The word is not about weakness.

It is about strength proven over time.

It is about resilience earned one year at a time.

It is about becoming the keepers of memories, the storytellers of families, the mentors of younger generations, and the living connection between yesterday and tomorrow.

We are not relics of another era.

We are living history.

We are bridges between generations.

And perhaps the greatest compliment anyone can receive is not to be called young, but to be called elderly, because it means we have lived a life rich enough, long enough, and meaningful enough to earn the title.

That is something to celebrate.

Making Your Mark on the World

2026-08-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

If music is the language of the soul, visual art is its fingerprint. As we, in BC celebrate BC Day, lets look at another way to make your mark on the world.

It arises from a spiritual longing we all share: to make our mark on the world, to spend our life energy in work that rises above the mundane, adding grace to existence. We respond to the light around us by giving expression to our own inner light. When the two are on the same wavelength, the world seems more brilliant and finely focused.

That is a beautiful way of saying something simple: you were meant to create.

You do not need to be a painter, sculptor, or photographer. Creativity wears many faces. It shows up in the garden you tend, the meals you prepare, the stories you tell, the letters you write, the photographs you take, the way you arrange a shelf. It is the impulse to leave something behind that says, "I was here, and I cared."

Carl Jung also believed that the soul is partly in time, which means it is partly shaped by our experiences and relationships. We know ourselves as human, in part, through our connections with other living beings. Virginia Woolf knew the soul defies thought, but she also knew it can be felt, glimpsed, and expressed. And so can you.

This is especially true for us. We have lived long enough to understand that life is not about having the most, but about being the most. The creative impulse does not fade with age; it deepens. It becomes wiser, more patient, more reflective. It is not about producing something for the world, it is about producing something for yourself. Something that reminds you of who you are and what you value.

If you are looking for a place to start, consider this: what did you love when you were young? Drawing? Writing? Dancing? Gardening? Singing? That spark is still there. It may be buried under years of responsibility and routine, but it has never gone out. It is waiting for you to fan it back to life.

And here is the most important part: when you create, you are not just doing it for yourself. You are showing your grandchildren, your children, your friends that creativity is a lifelong gift. You are teaching them that it is never too late to start, to try, to fail, to try again. You are teaching them that the soul can be expressed at any age.

We are, as the naturalist writer noted, the younger siblings of the animal world, the perpetual neonates, needing models for how to live. But we are also the ones who create. We adapt. We shape the world around us. And through our creativity, we shape ourselves.

Here are some simple, low-pressure ways to let your creative impulse out. Choose one, or try several, and consider inviting a grandchild or friend to join you.

1. Start a "One Sentence a Day" Journal
Write one sentence every day. It can be about anything: what you did, what you saw, how you felt, a memory that came to mind. At the end of the year, you will have 365 sentences, a small, beautiful record of your year.

2. Make a Collage
Collect images, words, or textures from magazines, newspapers, or printed photos. Arrange them on a piece of paper or cardstock. You do not need to be a designer. Just let your instincts guide you. This is a great activity to do with a grandchild.

3. Take a Walk with a Camera
Walk around your neighbourhood, a park, or even your own home. Take photos of things that catch your eye, a shadow, a flower, a child's toy, a crack in the pavement. You are not aiming for a masterpiece. You are just practising seeing the world with fresh eyes.

4. Write a Letter to a Grandchild
Not an email. A real letter. Tell them a story from your childhood that you have never told them before. They will keep it. Years from now, they will read it again.

5. Try a Simple Craft
Knitting, woodworking, pottery, painting, flower arranging, anything that uses your hands. The act of making something physical is deeply satisfying and creative. Many community centres, including the Wilson Centre, offer introductory workshops.

6. Keep a "Sparks" Journal
Carry a small notebook and jot down things that inspire you: a line from a movie, a phrase you overheard, a memory that pops into your head. These are "sparks." When you feel stuck, open the journal and see what happens.

7. Create a Family Recipe Book
Write down the recipes that matter to you, the ones your grandmother made, the ones you perfected over the years. Add a note about why each recipe matters. Share it with your family. This is creativity, connection, and legacy all in one.

8. Draw Something
You do not need to be good at drawing. Just pick up a pencil and sketch something simple, a cup, a flower, a chair. Drawing focuses, you to allow you to look closely. Looking closely is a form of attention. And attention is a form of love.

Creativity is not about being good. It is about being present. It is about paying attention to the world and responding to it in your own way. It is about leaving something behind that says you were here.

So do not be afraid. Start small. Hum a tune. Plant a flower. Write a note. Take a picture. Let the artist inside you breathe. The world will be better for it, and so will you.

The Language of the Soul

2026-07-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

There is a force inside each of us that asks to be expressed. It does not care about your age, your talent, or your résumé. It cares only that you let it out.

We call it the creative impulse. It is the part of us that looks inward and projects outward, searching for meaning and fulfilment. It is why we share experiences, work together, build traditions, and dream. And no matter how old we are, we should never compromise a dream. We have them for a reason, perhaps to see into our own soul.

But what is a soul? Carl Jung described it as "partly in eternity and partly in time." Virginia Woolf, with her usual clarity, observed: "One can't write directly about the soul. Looked at, it vanishes." It defies substance and thought. Yet we have invented no greater expression of our inwardness than music.

Musician I know describe music as the language of the soul, an eternal translation between mathematics and mystery. It is the deliberate arrangement of sound into patterns that move us. Birds sing the world back to life each spring. Cicadas serenade the sun each summer. And when we set out to tell the cosmos who we are, we sent whale songs, Bulgarian folk music, and Bach on a Golden Record. The best singers employ tone, interval, rhythm, theme, and variation in complex and pleasing combinations, but so does a grandmother humming to her grandchild. So does a retiree learning to play the piano for the first time. So does anyone who dares to make a sound that comes from the heart.

When you think about it, we have all been musicians at some point. We have all felt the rhythm of a good song, tapped our feet to a beat, or hummed along to a melody we could not shake. Music is one of the most accessible forms of creativity. It requires no special training to appreciate, and only a willingness to try. You do not need to perform on a stage. You just need to let the song inside you come out, even if it is only heard by you, or by a child sitting on your knee.

Here is something you can do this week, alone or with a grandchild.

Think of six songs that have mattered to you at different points in your life. They do not have to be "important" songs. They just have to be songs that you remember. Songs that take you back. Here is my list, I hope it helps you create your own list.

Song 1: A song from your childhood: Nature Boy" by Nat King Cole
Song 2: A song from your teenage years: California Dreamin' by The Mamas and the Papas
Song 3: A song from your twenties: American Pie - Don McLean
Song 4: A song from your thirties: "Billie Jean" - Michael Jackson
Song 5: A song from your forties: My Heart Will Go On" - Celine Dion
Song 6: A song from your later years: Symphony No. 5 in C Minor, Op. 67 by Beethoven
Song 7: A song that makes you feel hopeful about today: Ode to Joy (Symphony No. 9) by Ludwig van Beethoven and What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong

Now, do one of three things:

Write them down. Create a simple playlist on paper. Add a note next to each song about what it means to you.
Share them. Play them for a grandchild or a friend. Tell them why each song matters.
Expand the list. Make a full playlist on your phone or a streaming service. Or create a physical CD or USB drive with the songs and give it to someone you love.

Why does this matter? Because music is memory. When you share your songs, you are not just sharing music. You are sharing your story. And your grandchildren will remember not just the songs, but the fact that you trusted them with your history.

That is creativity. That is connection. That is the language of the soul.

Oxymorons

2026-07-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

1.Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

2. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

3. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

4. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

5. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

6. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

7. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

8. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

9. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

10. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

11. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

12. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites

13. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

14. Why is "phonetic" not spelled the way it sounds?

15. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

16. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

17. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

18. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

19. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

20. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

21. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

22. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

23. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

24. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

25. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

26. Then there is Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

27. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Guys, Take Notes: What Many Men Can Learn from Women About Retirement

2026-07-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

Every successful movie has people behind the scenes who quietly make everything work.

Sometimes they direct.

Sometimes they produce.

Sometimes they rewrite the script halfway through filming because the original story no longer fits.

Over the past several years, I've watched many women do exactly that with retirement.

And I think men have something to learn from them.

Before anyone writes me an email, let me be clear.

I'm speaking from my own experience.

I've worked with hundreds of retirees through workshops, community organizations, and volunteer boards. The pattern I've noticed isn't about every woman or every man. It's simply an observation that has made me think.

Many men spend years planning how they'll leave work.

Many women spend years planning what they'll do after work.

There's an important difference.

For many men, identity is closely tied to occupation.

We introduce ourselves by saying, "I'm an engineer."

"I'm a teacher."

"I'm a manager."

"I'm an electrician."

When retirement arrives, those titles disappear overnight.

Some men spend months trying to figure out who they are without the business card.

Many women, however, seem to have spent years building lives that include much more than work.

They have friendships that continue after retirement.

Volunteer roles.

Book clubs.

Fitness classes.

Community organizations.

Creative interests.

Family traditions.

Social networks.

Learning opportunities.

In many cases, retirement simply gives them more time to enjoy the lives they were already creating.

That's a lesson worth paying attention to.

Another difference I've noticed is the willingness to ask for help.

Many men are perfectly willing to rebuild a lawn mower without reading the instructions.

Unfortunately, some try approaching retirement the same way.

"We'll figure it out."

Sometimes we do.

Sometimes we spend six months reorganizing the garage because we haven't planned anything else.

Women, on the other hand, often attend retirement workshops, ask questions, compare ideas, share experiences, and build support networks.

That isn't weakness.

That's wisdom.

They understand that retirement isn't a solo performance.

It's an ensemble cast.

I've also noticed that many women continue learning long after retirement.

Computers.

Languages.

Painting.

Photography.

Fitness.

Gardening.

History.

Community leadership.

Curiosity keeps showing up in their calendars.

Retirement isn't a graduation ceremony.

It's another semester.

Perhaps the biggest lesson is purpose.

The happiest retirees I've met aren't necessarily the wealthiest.

They're the ones who wake up knowing someone needs them, somewhere wants them, or something excites them.

Purpose keeps us moving.

Purpose gets us out of bed.

Purpose reminds us that our best contributions aren't measured by a paycheque.

Men can absolutely build that kind of retirement.

In fact, many do.

But it rarely happens by accident.

Just as we plan financially, we need to plan socially, emotionally, physically, and intellectually.

We need friends who know us outside the workplace.

We need hobbies that challenge us.

We need places where our experience matters.

Most of all, we need to remember that retirement isn't about stopping.

It's about redirecting decades of knowledge toward new adventures.

So perhaps the greatest compliment I can give the women I've worked with is this:

Thank you.

Thank you for showing many of us that retirement can be active, curious, courageous, generous, and joyful.

You didn't simply accept the old script.

You proved there was a better one.

Now it's our turn to write the next chapter.

Question: Whether you're a man or a woman, what is one lesson you've learned from someone else's retirement that has changed how you're planning your own?

Retirement's Leading Ladies: The Women Who Rewrote the Script

2026-07-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

If retirement were a Hollywood movie, many people would expect it to follow an old screenplay.

The leading character works until 65, retires quietly, buys a comfortable chair, spends afternoons watching television, and slowly fades into the background while the younger cast takes over.

Fortunately, a generation of women looked at that script, laughed, tore it into little pieces, and wrote a much better ending.

During my working years, I had the privilege of working alongside many remarkable women. They challenged ideas, questioned authority, solved problems, took risks, and never stopped learning. They made me a better educator, a better leader, and, I believe, a better man.

Now that I am retired, I continue to see that same spirit.

I've organized countless workshops on retirement, healthy aging, and community issues. More often than not, the room is filled with women. When I serve on volunteer boards, women usually make up the majority of members. They are organizing events, raising money, mentoring others, learning new skills, advocating for change, and asking one important question:

"What's next?"

That's not the behaviour of people winding down.

That's the behaviour of people beginning another exciting chapter.

Ask many women in their sixties, seventies, or eighties what they refuse to do anymore, and you'll often receive an answer without much hesitation.

"I won't pretend."

"I won't apologize."

"I won't make myself invisible."

"I won't let someone else decide how I should grow older."

It reminds me of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Once she realizes she's in a strange new world, she doesn't spend the rest of the movie apologizing for arriving. She gathers companions, faces challenges, learns along the way, and follows the Yellow Brick Road toward a future she cannot yet see.

Retirement can feel very much like that road.

You don't always know exactly where it leads.

You simply keep walking.

Many women in the Baby Boomer generation spent decades preparing for this stage without realizing it.

Many balanced careers while raising children.

Some returned to school later in life.

Many managed households while working full-time.

Some survived divorce and rebuilt their financial lives from scratch.

Others became caregivers for parents while still supporting children.

Life became an incredible training ground for retirement.

They learned resilience.

They learned independence.

They learned that when life changes, you adjust the plan instead of giving up on the journey.

Today's retirees also recognize something earlier generations often didn't.

At 65, many people still have twenty or thirty productive years ahead of them.

That's far too much life to spend sitting on the sidelines.

Instead of seeing retirement as an ending, many women see it as freedom.

Freedom to volunteer.

Freedom to travel.

Freedom to learn.

Freedom to advocate for causes they believe in.

Freedom simply to become more fully themselves.

One change I've noticed is that many women no longer feel obligated to stay silent.

Previous generations often accepted being overlooked as simply part of growing older.

Today's women are far more likely to speak up when they experience ageism, unfair treatment, or barriers that limit opportunity.

They have spent decades finding their voices.

Retirement hasn't silenced them.

If anything, it has amplified them.

Of course, every retirement story is unique. Health, finances, family circumstances, and personal preferences all shape the journey. Some women choose quieter lives, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The important point is choice.

This generation has earned the opportunity to choose what retirement looks like instead of accepting someone else's outdated script.

Perhaps that's the greatest lesson of all.

Boomer women aren't refusing to age.

They're refusing to let age define what they're still capable of becoming.

And I have a feeling the sequel is going to be even better than the original.

Question: If retirement gives you the chance to rewrite your own script, what role would you like to play in the next chapter of your life?

Stunt Doubles Not Included: Planning Your Physical Health for Retirement

2026-07-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

Every great movie has exciting scenes.

Heroes climb mountains.

Explore forests.

Dance at weddings.

Travel the world.

Play with grandchildren.

Walk along beaches.

Ride bicycles through parks.

Here's the problem.

Hollywood hires stunt doubles.

Retirement doesn't.

When you're planning for retirement, it's easy to focus on your bank account. But there's another account that deserves just as much attention, your health account.

Because what good is finally having the time to travel if your knees file a formal complaint every morning?

Or buying that dream RV if your back votes against sitting for six hours?

Or having grandchildren eager to play if you're too tired to join them?

Retirement isn't just about living longer.

It's about living better.

That's why planning for physical health should begin years before retirement, not years after.

The good news?

You don't need to become an Olympic athlete.

You simply need to stay in the game.

Think of your body as the camera crew filming your retirement movie.

If the crew quits, the movie stops.

Simple habits make remarkable differences.

Walking regularly.

Keeping your muscles strong.

Maintaining balance and flexibility.

Eating nutritious food most of the time.

Sleeping well.

Scheduling regular medical and dental checkups.

Looking after your hearing and vision.

None of these activities are particularly glamorous.

Neither is brushing your teeth.

Yet somehow we all agree that's a worthwhile investment.

One of the biggest surprises in retirement is how quickly we can become less active.

Work used to provide movement without us noticing.

Walking down hallways.

Climbing stairs.

Carrying groceries.

Standing during meetings.

Even searching for the stapler burned a few calories.

Retirement can quietly replace those activities with a very comfortable recliner.

Before long, the television remote gets more exercise than we do.

Here's another twist.

Exercise isn't only about your muscles.

It improves mood, reduces stress, sharpens thinking, boosts energy and often creates opportunities to meet new friends.

A morning walk can become a daily social event.

A fitness class can introduce you to people who are writing their own retirement stories.

A hike through a local park reminds you that nature has been waiting patiently while you were busy working.

One of the greatest gifts retirement offers is time.

Time to prepare healthy meals.

Time to enjoy local trails.

Time to swim, golf, garden, dance or cycle.

Time to rediscover the simple joy of moving your body.

You don't have to be perfect.

Nobody earns a gold medal for retirement.

You simply want your body to carry you through the adventures you've been dreaming about for years.

Think ahead.

What adventures would you like your retirement movie to include?

Walking the Camino?

Exploring Canada's national parks?

Playing pickleball?

Travelling with friends?

Keeping up with energetic grandchildren?

Those scenes become much easier when you start training before the cameras begin rolling.

The goal isn't to look younger.

It's to stay capable.

Strong enough.

Independent enough.

Healthy enough.

Retirement gives us something incredibly valuable, choice.

Good health helps us keep those choices for as long as possible.

So while you're building your financial nest egg, don't forget to invest in the one asset you'll use every single day.

Your body.

After all, every retirement movie deserves a happy ending, and you'll be performing every scene yourself.

Question: What small change could you make this week that your future retired self would thank you for five or ten years from now?

Casting the Stars of Your Retirement: Why Emotional Health Deserves Top Billing

2026-07-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Imagine you've spent years producing the perfect retirement movie.

The finances are in place.

The pension arrives every month.

The mortgage is paid.

The tickets are sold.

The curtains open...

...and the lead actor has no idea what to do.

That sounds funny, but it happens more often than you might think.

Many of us spend years preparing financially for retirement while giving very little thought to the emotional side of the journey.

For decades, work has quietly shaped our lives. It gave us routines, responsibilities, friendships, challenges and, for many of us, a sense of purpose. Monday mornings had meaning. Fridays felt like victories. Coffee breaks solved many of the world's problems.

Then one day the credits roll.

On Monday morning, nobody is waiting for your report. Nobody schedules a meeting. Nobody sends an email asking if you've got a minute.

At first, that sounds wonderful.

Then...Tuesday arrives.

By Thursday, you've organized the garage twice, alphabetized the spice rack, and seriously considered trimming the neighbour's hedge because it looked lonely.

Retirement isn't just leaving a job.

It's creating a new identity.

That's why emotional planning deserves a starring role in your retirement movie.

Ask yourself some simple questions.

Who will I spend time with?

What will make me excited to get out of bed?

How will I continue learning?

Who needs the experience I've gained over the years?

What will make me laugh?

Those questions are every bit as important as asking whether you've saved enough money.

Some retirees discover new passions through volunteering. Others mentor younger people, join clubs, travel, write, paint, golf, garden, sing in choirs, or finally learn the hobbies they postponed while raising families and building careers.

Many also discover something unexpected.

Retirement gives them permission to become the person they always wanted to be.

The teacher becomes an artist.

The accountant becomes a photographer.

The engineer becomes a woodworker.

The executive discovers grandchildren are much more interesting than board meetings.

The best retirement movies rarely have only one storyline.

They include family, friendships, curiosity, laughter and giving back.

One of the biggest emotional challenges is loneliness.

Your workplace probably provided daily conversations without you even realizing it. Retirement can quietly remove dozens of social connections overnight.

The solution isn't waiting for the phone to ring.

It's becoming the director of your own social life.

Invite people for coffee.

Join community groups.

Volunteer.

Take classes.

Reconnect with old friends.

Keep adding new characters to your story.

The happiest retirees don't simply retire from something.

They retire to something.

Retirement isn't the end of the movie.

It's the beginning of an entirely new season.

And here's the wonderful part.

Unlike Hollywood, there are no age limits on casting.

You can become the hero of a brand-new story at 60, 70, 80 or beyond.

Some of the best chapters of life haven't even been written yet.

So don't let your retirement become two hours of watching daytime television while wondering what happened to the exciting person you used to be.

Write yourself a better script.

Cast yourself in the leading role.

And make it a story worth telling.

Question: If someone watched the first year of your retirement as a movie, would they see a character simply filling time...or someone discovering an exciting new purpose?

Finally, don't forget the supporting actor that makes every great retirement possible, your health. In reel three we will explore how you can think about this aspect of retirement.

Lights, Camera, Action! It's Time to Produce Your Retirement Financial Movie

2026-07-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

Most people don't wake up one morning, stretch, yawn, and announce, "Today seems like a good day to retire." Well...some do, but that's usually followed by, "Now what?"

For most of us, retirement planning begins about 10 years before we leave the workforce. That's when the reality starts to sink in. The finish line is finally visible.

That was certainly true for me.

About 10 to 12 years before I retired, I realized retirement wasn't some distant event that happened to other people. It was coming for me. Fortunately, I had time to prepare. I wish I had started earlier, but those final working years allowed me to increase our savings, make better investment decisions, and take full advantage of my workplace pension. When retirement finally arrived, money wasn't something that kept me awake at night.

Not everyone is that fortunate.

Some people begin planning in their forties or even earlier. Others wake up one morning, look in the mirror, notice a few extra grey hairs and suddenly declare, "Oh my goodness...I'm 65. Maybe I should think about retirement."

That's a little like showing up on opening night of a movie without having written the script.

The numbers surrounding retirement can sound intimidating. Headlines regularly tell us that many people have saved far less than they need, while others worry they may outlive their savings. Reading those stories can make retirement sound more like a disaster movie than a feel-good adventure.

Fortunately, every good movie begins with a plan.

Think of your net worth statement as a photograph. It captures one moment in time. It tells you where you are today.

A retirement plan, however, is a movie.

It follows your income, expenses, investments, pensions, taxes and savings over the years ahead. It lets you watch your future unfold before you actually live it.

Even better, every year you become the director. You can rewrite scenes, replace expensive plot twists, edit unnecessary spending, and even change the ending if life throws in an unexpected surprise.

Maybe you decide to travel less and stay closer to home. Perhaps you downsize to free up cash. Some people choose to work part-time for a few extra years. Others discover they can retire earlier than they imagined because they've planned carefully.

That's the beauty of a retirement movie. You're not stuck with the first draft.

Of course, even the best financial plan won't eliminate every worry. Retirement is one of life's biggest transitions. Some uncertainty is perfectly normal.

Planning doesn't remove every anxious moment, but it gives you confidence that you've thought things through. Instead of wondering what might happen, you've already explored many of the possibilities.

There's another important lesson.

Money provides the foundation for retirement, but it doesn't create the whole story.

You can have a healthy bank account and still struggle if you haven't planned for your emotional health, your physical health, your relationships, or how you'll spend your days.

Those chapters deserve just as much attention as your investments.

After all, no one leaves the movie theatre talking about the budget. They remember the story.

So, as you prepare for retirement, make sure you're writing a story worth watching.

Question: If your retirement were a movie premiering five years from now, would today's financial decisions make it a comedy, an adventure, a romance...or an action film with way too many unexpected explosions?

The next part of the story is even more important than your finances. I will talk about emotional and physical health. Stay tuned for reel two.

The Architecture of a Worthy Decision

2026-07-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

You are wrestling. I know the texture of that wrestling. It is 2:00 AM and the ceiling is a blank screen for your worst-case scenarios. It is the taste of cold coffee and the weight of a phone you can’t bring yourself to use. You have been told that a “good decision” is a clean one, no mess, no casualties, no looking back.

That is a lie. A lie sold by people who have never had to choose between two versions of their own soul.

Every worthy decision leaves scars. The question is not whether you will bleed, but whether the wound will heal into a scar you can live with, or fester into a bitterness that poisons the rest of your life. The most difficult moments are difficult because they ask you to trade one essential good for another: integrity for safety, love for freedom, truth for belonging.

We are raised on a diet of multiple-choice tests. There is a correct answer; you just have to find it. But life’s deepest dilemmas are not multiple-choice. They are tragic choices. The philosopher Martha Nussbaum called them “non-compensatory losses”, you cannot trade the thing you lost for the thing you gained, because they are incommensurate. You cannot trade the memory of a child’s laughter for a promotion. You cannot trade a decade of security for one night of authentic terror.

When you accept that there is no “right answer,” only a chosen answer, something shifts. The paralysis of perfectionism loosens. You stop asking, “Which is better?” and start asking, “Which is mine?”

Most decision-making frameworks ignore the one variable that matters most: you.

Franklin’s algebra treats reasons as if they exist outside of you, floating in a neutral universe. But a reason is only as heavy as the person holding it. For one person, “staying close to family” is a mountain. For another, it is a pebble. You have spent so long listing the external facts that you have forgotten to consult the internal truth.

So let me ask you the questions no spreadsheet can answer:

1. What is the fear beneath the fear? You are afraid of making the wrong choice. But underneath that, what are you really afraid of? Being alone? Being trapped? Being seen as a failure? Being forgotten? Until you name the primal fear, you are just a puppet dancing to an invisible string.

2. What are you willing to sacrifice? Not what you want to sacrifice. Every real decision exacts a tithe. Are you willing to sacrifice the good opinion of your parents? Are you willing to sacrifice financial ease? Are you willing to sacrifice the comfort of knowing exactly what tomorrow looks like? Write it down: “By choosing this, I will lose…” If you cannot look at that sentence without flinching, you are not ready to decide.

3. What would you do if you knew you would be forgiven? So much of our paralysis is moral. We are afraid of being judged, by God, by community, by the ghost of our former selves. Imagine you have already been forgiven. By everyone. By the universe. By your own future self. Now what do you choose? That answer is your true north.

You cannot think your way into a new life. You have to walk your way into it. Here is a three-day protocol for those who are done with paralysis and ready for motion.

Day One: The Funeral for the Path Not Taken.
Do not decide anything today. Instead, ritualize the loss. Write a letter to the version of yourself you are afraid to kill. “Dear Me who stays in this city… Dear Me who marries him… Dear Me who takes the safe job…” Tell that person you see them. That they were good. That they kept you safe for a long time. Thank them. Then, physically burn the letter. You are not deciding for; you are deciding to let die. This is not dramatic; it is necessary. The intellect cannot process renunciation. Only ritual can.

Day Two: The Smallest Possible Leap.
Kierkegaard said the leap of faith is not a giant jump; it is a movement made in place. What is the smallest possible action you can take today that leans in the direction of one path? Not the decision itself. Just a tilt. Send one email. Pack one box. Say one sentence. “I am considering leaving.” The goal is not to solve your life. The goal is to prove to your nervous system that you can move without dying. Motion begets clarity, not the other way around.

Day Three: The Vote of the Body.
Your mind is a house of mirrors, reflecting infinite possibilities. Your body is a truth-teller. Sit in a quiet room. Close your eyes. Imagine, as vividly as possible, that you have chosen Path A. Stay in that imagination for two full minutes. Notice where your body tightens: jaw, shoulders, stomach? Now shake it off. Imagine Path B. Two minutes. Notice the difference. Your body knows what your mind is too clever to admit. The decision that relaxes your diaphragm, even slightly, even with fear, that is your answer.

Here is what no one tells you: after you decide, the sorrow does not vanish. You will still wonder. You will still grieve. There will be a Tuesday afternoon three years from now when a smell or a song will hit you, and you will feel the phantom limb of the road not taken.

But something else happens too. Something miraculous. The sorrow begins to metabolize. It turns from a poison into a nutrient. The very loss you feared becomes the grain of sand around which you grow a pearl. The wrong turns, the broken promises, the doors that slammed shut, they become the texture of your wisdom. You become someone who can sit with another person in their own paralysis and say, “I know. I have been there.”

That is the song.

It is not a happy song. It is a true song. It is the sound of a human being who has stopped asking for a life without loss and started living a life shaped by loss. The right decision does not lead to happiness. Happiness is too thin a word. The right decision leads to integrity, the sense that your outer life matches your inner truth. And from that integrity, sometimes, on a good day, song breaks through. Laughter at the kitchen table. A moment of unexpected peace. The quiet satisfaction of having met your own gaze in the mirror.

You are not weak because you cannot decide. You are strong because you feel the weight of both paths. The person who breezes through a binary choice has not understood what is at stake. The person who sweats, who loses sleep, who writes columns of pros and cons at 3:00 AM, that person is alive to the tragedy and beauty of existence.

You do not need a perfect decision. You need a courageous decision. You need to choose the loss you can bear and the song you can sing.

So, close your eyes. Take a breath. The coin is in the air. You already know what you hope it says. Now, before you talk yourself out of it, take one small step. Just one.

The path does not reveal itself to the stationary. It reveals itself to the walker.

Go.

The Space Between "Hi" and "Friend"

2026-07-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

So, you have decided to try making new friends. That is the first step.

But now you are stuck in the space between "Hi, nice to meet you" and "Want to grab coffee?" It is an awkward space. It is the space where you wonder if you are being too pushy or too distant. The space where you second-guess every text.

Let me tell you something: everyone feels that way.

One of the biggest barriers to making friends is the fear of not fitting in or being rejected. Life changes, retirement, health issues, the loss of a spouse, can impact self-esteem. You may feel less confident about reaching out.

But here is what I have learned: most people are just as lonely as you are. They are just as unsure. They are just as worried about being rejected.

When you reach out, you are not bothering them. You are giving them permission to reach out too.

The first step is always the hardest. That initial "hello" can feel impossible. So here is a trick: stop thinking of it as "making a friend." Think of it as "having a conversation."

You are not committing to a lifelong friendship. You are just having a conversation. That is all. And if it goes well, you can have another conversation. And another.

That is how friendships start. Not with grand gestures. With small, repeated interactions.

Think about it this way: when you meet someone new, you have about 30 seconds to make a connection. That is your "elevator pitch" of friendship.

Here is what works:

Ask a question. "What brings you here?" or "Have you been to this event before?" are easy openers.
Share something about yourself. "This is my first time here," or "I have been thinking about joining this group for a while."
Find common ground. "I love that book too," or "I used to live in that neighbourhood."
Listen. People are more interested in someone who is interested in them.

Once you have had a few conversations, the next step is to take a small risk: ask.

"Would you like to grab coffee sometime?"
"I am planning a walk on Saturday. Want to join?"
"I have an extra ticket to the garden show. Would you be interested?"

The worst they can say is "no." And if they say no? That is not a reflection on you. They may be busy, or shy, or not ready. That is okay. You try with someone else.

Once you have established new friendships, you need to maintain them.

Keep in touch regularly, even if it is through brief messages or calls.
Schedule regular meetups or activities to ensure continued interaction.
Show interest in your friends' lives and offer support when needed.

Do not wait for them to reach out. Be the one who reaches out. If everyone waits, nothing happens.

There is a line in the book The Fellowship of the Ring that I have always loved: "Short cuts make long delays." Friendship is like that. There are no shortcuts. There is no fast track. It takes time, effort, and patience.

But it is worth it. Because friendship, real friendship, the kind that shows up when you need it, the kind that makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, the kind that sits with you in silence when words are not enough, is the most valuable thing we have.

So be patient. Be curious. Be brave.

And remember: every friendship began as a stranger. Someone took a chance. And it worked.

You can be that person.