Happy Christmas!

I decided to drop this one on Christmas Day, because nothing says the Festive season like talk of a woman taking over Brad Pitts body and nailing Angelina.

Yep, Kera was lovely enough to tell us all about who she would do if she could take over another persons body for the day, and I don’t think a single person could disagree with her.

I know my girlfriend didn’t.

Keep a listen out at the end, the comdian I mention is called Tig Notaro, and her album is “Live”.

That is my Christmas Present to you guys, for being so lovely.

Go.

Seek it out.

You can thank me in the comments section below.

Hope you have a great day and you get all the prezzies you wished for.

Rich

x

David, a Law student, was given a year to live by The Book, would he decide to put right the wrongs in his life, tell those he loves most how he feels, do good deeds…

Lets just put it this way, don’t ever lend him any dollar.

(PS. I hope you’ve got all your Christmas shopping done… I know I haven’t)

I first picked on Jed at the start of the show for wearing a horrible t-shirt.

That was my first mistake.

Lets just put it this way, Jed is a moral man, but I wouldn’t want to be his family pet.

Reminder to self; stop mocking people who are trained to kill.

I feel so proud that Alexia decided to share this answer with us. I’ve spent the last few weeks e-mailing her back and forth to make sure she would be happy with the edit I’ve put out.

For the record; I don’t like to make edits to anyones Answer, possibly a long silence or an off mic responce, but there were things that Alexia discussed which I felt were too personal to be put out on the interwebs.

There are wierdo’s out there and I’d like them to stay away from this brilliant and beautiful person.

Having said that, she is delightfully dirty. Enjoy.

Oh look, another comedy friend of mine. This time its the lovely Naimh and we delve into ideas of stealing, whether you can really steal a virginity, is stealing from the Church wrong, and is it wise to steal a drink?

Another of my comedy chums came down to watch the show and so I dragged him on stage so The Book could ask him a Question about psychological torture which he proceeds to demonstrate perfectly.

Last one from the early shows, and Question 230 reveals that Jorge parents had better not be lying to him about anything, because his revenge with be terrible and unexpected…

Another early show Question here.

I enjoyed Rachaels Answer, I’ll admit that it wasn’t the most indepth, but I think you’ll see when you listen to it why I’ve decided to include it.

If I ever start a band, I know EXACTLY what I’m going to call it.

I’ve gone back into the earliest shows to have a listen to some of the Questions and Answers and found this gem from the 3rd show I did during the Fringe.

Once again The Book proves that it can pick the perfect Question for the right person if it wants to.

Question 81 led Terri and myself to discuss heroin, addictive personalities and kleptomania.

Question 126 brings up some interesting thoughts about the Death Penalty, the 3 Strikes policy of criminal justice and how easily your own words can come back to bite you on your arse.

Dev was a lovely young american lady for whom no amount of money could persuade her to take a chance with her life.

The rest of the audience I was not so sure of though.

From time to time some of my fellow comedians come down to see the show and I take particular joy in getting them up to Answer my Questions.

When my good friend Freddy Quinne sat down in the audience little did either of us know that The Book would want to robe so deeply into his sex life.

A little deeper that any sane human would want to go, and far deeper than he’s ever managed to probe himself.

WARNING: I take no responsibility, nor can I be held accountable for the nausea the mental images contained within this podcast may cause.

In keeping with the vaguely murdery theme that seemed to be cropping up amongst the Scottish women I’ve talked too, here is Sarah’s Answer to Question 195, where we learn not only whose lives she values most in her family, but an method of bumping off her Dad that’s so simple and cleverly sinister, even Columbo would have a tough time cracking it.

Sweet little Lauren.

Who ever would have thought that beneath her lovely exterior beats the dark heart of a stone cold killer?

I couldn’t not post this response to the same Question from husband and wife Tony and Helen, the whole thing was just too perfect.

Tony is a bloody legend and I do hope he takes my advice and gets into comedy because he is a naturally funny man and got far bigger laughs with a few short quips than I did all show.

Its a beautiful thing to meet two people, still clearly in love, who have shared such simple joy in their lives. I was honoured to have them on my stage, and I’m happy to share with you their Answers to Question 116.

Sometimes when you play to the home crowd, you will end up getting backed into a rather anti-Semitic corner, as Ash quickly learned.

But at least we all learned how to make any film end on a happier note.

Sometimes the shorter Answers can be just as beautiful.

Here Ezra teaches us all how to screw over the man whilst looking after the little people.

What a charming and debonair chap Berty was.

Like a character from a novella set in the heydays of the French Riviera, I could see him driving a convertable MGB on his way to meet a Duke for several hands of gin rummy with a extra tall glass of gin and murder on the cards.

My favourite thing about Berty was that he told me his Dad wanted to call him Bertram, but was drunk at the hospital and could only spell Berty.

I enjoyed his company so much that he got two questions for the price of one.

Noah was the last Question on this particular night, and yet he’s featured on an earlier podcast! Thats right, Noah was the poor guy with the teeth from the beginning of Jacks episode.

Yet once again The Book and the Questionee surprise me with their answers. I sometimes wonder whether such things can be coincidences, because Noah clearly needed to talk about what was on his mind and The Book delivered for him.

Fascinating.

At a comedy gig, its sad to say, that the slightest physical difference will be jumped on by a comic looking for a quick and cheep laugh.

One of the most mocked and easiest spotted is ginger hair.

So when Jack got up to give an Answer, the fact he had, not only a flock of bright red hair, but was wearing an orange tank top as well, meant that physical appearance was going to come up at some point.

Little did I suspect that it would be The Book and Question 114 that brought it up for me.

(I’m, also happy to announce that I managed to avoid making any “ginger jokes” myself)

After a long, and frankly, unfunny, discussion with Stephanie about the origins of French Canada and the abundance of strip clubs in Montreal, The Book gave her Question 92, a Question about following your dreams, her Answer, I think, could be a lesson to us all.

Jay seemed like a very amiable and pleasant young man…

If there is one thing that Question 43 proved, its that you do NOT fuck with Jay.

If there is one thing I’ve discovered about myself doing this show, its that I am terrible at accents but that in no way stops me from trying.

Whom, though, could blame me, when faced with the creamy voice of Paolo, an Italian fellow who lives, we discovered, about 20km away from where my Grandfathers family still reside in Italy.

After a quick chat about how my extended family are doing and, after getting the Audience to say his name several times so they could enjoy the feeling of it rolling off their tongues, myself and Paolo got down to the nitty gritty of Question 48.

DISCLAIMER – I’m not an expert on the history of Rome, but I do listen to the awesome Hardcore History podcast by Dan Carlin – http://www.dancarlin.com/ – So if I’ve gone and got something wrong, its his fault for me mis-remembering him, not mine for being an idiot.

You know, sometimes, even after any bad shows, and a tough beginning to this years Edinburgh Fringe, things like this can happen and I’m shown why this show is worth doing. I can’t get his Answer out of my head and the fact that pure random chance meant that HE was destined to answer this specific Question boggles my mind.

Scott had turned up at the start and I knew I’d have to keep an eye on him, young lad, he had the look of the guy you’d look for at a festival if your supplies of stimulants and treats had run low.

I just needed to figure out if he’d be friendly, aggressive or just sit and watch and laugh along.

Two Questions in and he’d thrown a few verbal interjections, but nothing nasty, he seemed friendly so I figured I’d get him up, let him talk for a bit, get it out of his system.

I was not, however, expecting him to give this Answer to Question 159.

Question 199 leads local lad Stewart to come up with a fantastic way to spend a million pounds in a manner that is totally selfless and massively selfish at the same time.

Genius.

Poor Hayden walked in at the end of the show to meet his friend Otto, Question 124 led me on a ramble about linguistic iPhone Apps, the greatest insult I’ve ever heard and Hayden revealed some interesting things about his relationship with Otto.