Toxic Relationships and Cure

Are you in to a Toxic Relationship ? What to look for

noreply@blogger.com (Connect With Anika) — Sat, 17 Sep 2022 08:24:00 +0000

In a normal relationship, everything just sort of works. Yeah, you might agree-disagree from time to time or can face other bumps in the road, but you normally make decisions together, clearly discuss your problems that arise, and in real enjoy each other’s company.

Toxic relationships are another level story. With a toxic person In a toxic relationship, you might sometimes feel drained or unhappy after spending a little time with your partner, which indicates that some things need your attention and to be change.

Toxic relationship are not at all enjoyable or give you happiness like the normal does, though you still love and want to be with your partner. It seems of feels like you always rub each other the wrong way or can’ stop arguing over smaller endless issues.

Below, are some important signs of toxicity in a relationship, also offer some guidance in steps if you acknowledge any of these signs in your relationship.

Signs of a toxic relationship

Depending on the nature of your relationship with your partner, signs of toxicity can be subtle or highly obvious.

When you’re with a toxic partner and in a toxic relationship, you might not always find it easy to observe or notice the red flags rising up.

1. Negligence of support

Normal relationships are based on a mutual understanding to see the other happy and growing in all areas of life.

In sum,whatever time you spend together no longer feels happy or positive. You don’t feel helped,nourished,charged or encouraged, and you can’t trust them to show up for you when needed, Instead, you might get the feeling that your requirements or needs don’t matter, that they only care about what they need or want in life.

2. Toxicity in communication

Instead of feeling,care and respect, major part of of your conversations are filled with bitterness or criticism, in sum you wont feel happy after or while having conversation with your partner.

3.Jealousy

Yes off course it’s perfectly OK to experience a little envy from time to time, but it can become an issue if your envy keeps you from thinking positively about your partner’s successes, growth of achievements.

Jealousy is a perfectly natural human emotion But when it leads to constant doubts and mistreating, it can quickly destroy your relationship.

4. Controlling habits

If your partner ask where you are all the time and you don’t respond they become upset or irritated when you don’t immediately answer.

These behaviors might formed from jealousy or doubts which both can lead to toxic relationship which can lead to abuse as well.

5. Dishonesty

You find hidden acts and catch them lying more often. While confronting you find there is something which you don’t know and not able to figure out.

7. Patterns of disrespect

Being late frequently, forgetting events casually ,wasting your time by asking you to wait for them and cancel the meeting when you waited enough these signs or behaviors that show disrespect for your time are early indications which we ignore considering human mistakes.

8. Negative/Selfish Financial behaviors

Sharing finances with a partner involves a kind of agreement about how you will use or invest your money mutually.

If you have made an agreement regarding purchasing of big ticket items or withdrawals of large amount of money but your partner non stop breaking or disrespecting it, it’s a high sign.

9. Stress

Daily life challenges that includes workload,some family member’s illness, job loss,household works definitely can create some stress in your relationship.

But finding yourself constantly in a situation of stress/puzzled, even when you are not getting stress from outside, is a sign again.

10. Loss of self-care

In a toxic relationship, you might let go of your usual self-care habits, ignoring yourself if the very first sign of toxic relationship.

Withdrawal of hobbies, lake of attention towards to your own health , not bothering about your own free time. This all happen because you are drained and do not have the energy for yourself because your partner needs your attention all the time.

How to fix a toxic relationship

Many of us assume toxic relationships are doomed and can not be fixed, but that isn’t always the case.

Condition is both partners must want to change, Manly happens If only one partner is invested in creating healthy patterns, there is unfortunately little likelihood that change will occur.

A few tips you might be able to work things out together:

1.Initiate of responsibility

If both partner know the relationship is struggling and want to improve it, you’re on the right track.

Recognizing past behaviors that have harmed the relationship is impotent on both ends, It reflects an interest in self-awareness and self-responsibilities also both partners should accept their part in contributing to the toxicity, from resentment to jealousy to not speaking out about concerns and disappointments.

2.Willingness to invest

Are both you and your partner both willing to invest in making the relationship better, it can be a good sign and approach. it works like manifestation of having a healthy relationship.

3.Not blaming but understanding

If you’re both able to avoid the conversation away from blaming and more towards understanding and learning, it can lead towards a new beginning.

Its simple like saying “It’s your fault” you might try, “I think we misunderstood each other, so let’s try again”

Move Forward

Repairing a toxic relationship will take time, patience, understanding and diligence.

Below steps can help you turn things around with time and patience.

1.Avoid dwelling in the past

Yes,repairing the relationship will likely involve addressing past events. But this shouldn’t be the main focus of your relationship moving forward.

Resisting the temptation to constantly relate back to negative scenarios, since this can leave both of you tense, frustrated, and basically just back where you started.

2.Show compassion

When you find yourself wanting to blame your partner for all the problems in the relationship, try taking a step back and looking at the potential motivators behind their behavior, Caraballo says.

Have they recently gone through a hard time at work or social? Had some family drama or incident weighing heavily on their mind?

These challenges don’t excuse bad behavior for sure, but they can help you come to a better understanding of where it comes from and its become easy to find out the cure.

Do not criticize your partner if they don’t do chores the way you prefer, These habits could help you in repair of your relationship

3.Initiate therapy

Openness to therapy can be a good sign that mending the relationship is possible in a simpler way. In order to help the relationship move forward, though, you’ll actually need to reach out to schedule that first appointment which is that easy due to our smartphones.

Couples counseling is a good starting point, also individual therapy can be a helpful addition Individual therapy offers a safe space to explore emotional issues and other factors that might contribute to relationship concerns.

4.Healthy communication

Pay attention to how you talk to each other as you mend things. Be mild with each other, and try to avoid sarcasm and even soft jabs.

Also focus on using “I” statements, especially when talking about relationship issues, try to understand there is no "I" while mending up.

5.Heal individually

It’s important for each of you to individually determine what you need from the relationship and where your boundaries lie, Lawsin advises.

Investing time for self healing is very important, it gives a chance to understand where you need to improve and work for betterment, analyzing is always positive no matter you acknowledging good or bad, all can be treated by time.

Remember, things won’t change overnight. Over the coming days,months or might years sometimes, work together on being flexible and patient with each other as you grow,it only needs patience and understanding, but if somewhat you feel its not going anywhere, suggestion is to leave the relationship and move on, take help of some therapist or friend.

घोस्टिंग या ब्रेकअप होने पर क्या करें

noreply@blogger.com (Connect With Anika) — Thu, 15 Sep 2022 08:03:00 +0000

किसी का अचानक से आपको छोड़ कर चले जाना, बिना कुछ कहे सुने, तकलीफ बहुत होती है पर कुछ कर नहीं सकते क्यों की सामने वाला जा चूका है दूर आपसे और कांटेक्ट के सारे रास्ते भी बंद कर चूका है।

इसको ही घोस्टिंग कहते हैं, या सामान्य शब्दों में भाग जाना। इस से भाग जाने वाले को तो कोई फरक नहीं पड़ता पर जो पीछे अकेला है उसे मानसिक तौर पर काफी तकलीफ साहनी पड़ती हैं।

लोग क्यूँ इस तरह से भाग जाते हैं आज इस टॉपिक पर ही चर्चा करेंगे हम।

इस व्यवहार के पीछे कई कारन हो सकते हैं।

कई बार हम जिस रिश्ते को गहराई से लेते हैं उसमे दूसरा व्यक्ति उतना ज्यादा सीरियस नहीं होता है, या फिर ये कहें की हम जिसे रिश्ता मान रहे हैं वो दूसरे व्यक्ति के लिए रिलेशनशिप है ही नहीं उसने सिर्फ कुछ अच्छा समय आपके साथ बिताने के लिए आपसे कैज़ुअल रिलेशनशिप रक्खी।

यहाँ ये समझना बहुत जरुरी है की आपका ब्रेकअप या आपके साथ घोस्टिंग होने की सही वजह क्या है.

अक्सर इस तरह का एक्शन तभी लिया लिया जाता है जब दो में से एक व्यक्ति रिलेशनशिप में या तो आना नहीं चाहता है या फिर आ जाने के बाद उसे ये एहसास हुआ की ये रिलेशनशिप उसके लिए सही नहीं है।

इस बात को इस तरह से समझते है, मान लीजिये आप कॉलेज में स्टडी कर रहे हैं और वहां किसी क साथ आपका इमोशनल रिलेशन बन गया कुछ दिन बहुत अच्छे से निकल गए फिर एक दिन आपके पार्टनर ने अचानक से आपके कॉल्स या मेसेजेस के रिप्लाई देना एक दम से बंद कर दिया अब आप सोच में हैं की ऐसा क्यूँ हुआ होगा।

वहीँ एक रिलेशनशिप ऐसा है जिसमे आप किसी के साथ इमोशनली अटैच्ड हैं जो पहले से ही मैरिड है वो मेल या फीमेल कोई भी हो सकते हैं, कुछ दिन या सालों तक सब परफेक्ट रहा फिर अचानक से रिलेशन्स में कड़वाहट आने लगी और आपके पार्टनर आपको धीरे धीरे खुदसे दूर करते गए एक टाइम आने के बाद उन्होंने आपसे कांटेक्ट के सरे रस्ते ही बंद कर दिए अब आप रस्ते में भी उन्हें कहीं देखते है तो वो आपको पहचानते भी नहीं.

क्या हमारे रिश्ते कर्मों से बंधे हैं देखिये वीडियो और ज्यादा समझने के लिए Karmic Rishte

इन दोनों एक्साम्प्ल में आपको एक चीज़ क्लियर हुई होगी की रिलेशनशिप दोनों में ही ब्रेक हुआ भले ही तरीका अलग था. यहाँ एक चीज़ समझने वाली है की एक रिलेशन जो कॉलेज में बना वो उतना गहरा नहीं था जितना एक्स्ट्रा मैरिटल अफेयर वाला था शायद ऐज और एक्सपेरिएंस का काफी डिफ्रेंस है पर ब्रेकअप दोनों में ही हो गया, आइये कारन समझने की कोशिश करते हैं.

कॉलेज अफेयर में एक नयापन था स्टडी के साथ अच्छा पार्टनर जिसके साथ घूम फिर सके अच्छा टाइम निकल जाये, कुछ दिन तक सब सही था या फिर कुछ साल तक फिर जैसे ही करियर की टेंशन होने लगी बाकि सारी चीज़ें पीछे छूटने लगी, साथ वाले फ्रेंड्स को अच्छे जॉब्स मिल रहे हैं होड़ सी लग गई और फिर सारा अटेंशन जॉब की तरफ मुड़ गया, ऐसे में घूमना फिरना किसे चाहिए, चलिए ब्रेकअप कर लेते हैं भाई और भी ग़म है ज़माने में मुह्हबत के सिवा।

आत्मिक सम्बन्ध कीन्हे कहते हैं , कैसे पहचाने ,देखिये वीडियो Atma Ke Sambandh

एक्स्ट्रा मैरिटल अफेयर वाले केस में जब शादी के बाद कुछ न्यू कॉन्टेक्ट्स बने और उनमे आपकी पसंद का कोई पर्सन भी शामिल हो गया तो अट्रैक्शन होना आम बात है, यही अट्रैक्शन आगे जाकर अफेयर में बदल जाता है कुछ साल , महीने अच्छे निकलते हैं फिर समाज और परिवार की टेंशन होने लगती है और मैरिड पार्टनर ब्रेकअप के रस्ते ढूंढने लगता है.

सरल वर्ड्स में कहुँ तो घोस्टिंग तभी की जाती है जब दोनों में से एक पार्टनर रिलेशनशिप में रहना नहीं चाहता वजह अलग हो सकती हैं तरीके भी अलग हो सकते हैं पर सच यही है की जब ऐसा होता है उसके पीछे का कारन मूव ऑन करना ही होता है.

घोस्टिंग हो जाने पर क्या करें -

देखिये जब भी ब्रेकअप होता है ज़ाहिर सी बात है दोनों में से एक पार्टनर अकेला रह जाता है और वो अपने सवालों के जवाब ढूंढने में लग जाता है जो की बहुत ही नार्मल है, आपको अचानक से अकेला छोड़ दिया गया है बिना कोई रीज़न बताये या समझाए और आप घबराये हैं अपसेट हैं अपने सवालों के जवाब ढूँढना चाहते हैं और इसके लिए आप फिर से अपने पार्टनर को कॉल्स मेसेजेस करते हैं पर वहां से तो सारे रस्ते पहले ही बंद कर दिए गए हैं आप उन तक पहुंच ही नहीं पा रहे हैं.

इस कंडीशन में आप डिप्रेशन में चले जाते हैं आपकी पर्सनल और प्रोफेशनल दोनों लाइफ खराब होती है क्यूँ की आप इस सबके चलते अपने काम पर भी ध्यान नहीं दे पा रहे हैं. ये सब ब्रेकअप के बाद होना बहुत ही नार्मल बात है और हम में से ज्यादातर लोग यही सब करते हैं और जब ये तरीका काम नहीं करता तब हम टेंशन और डिप्रेशन में चले जाते हैं हमे लगता है की हमने अपनी सेल्फ रेस्पेक्ट तक इस इंसान के लिए खो दी, वैसे बात सही भी है पर यहाँ एक चीज़ बहुत गौर से समझने वाली है की जब आपके पार्टनर को आपके साथ रिलेशनशिप में रहना ही होता तो वो आपको छोड़ के जाते ही क्यूँ , या फिर अगर उन्हें आपके सवालों के जवाब भी देने होते तो मुँह छुपा कर भागते ही क्यूँ।

देखिये आपके पार्टनर आपको छोड़ कर बिना कुछ कहे चले गए हैं ये जानते समझते हुए की आपको तकलीफ होगी आप कन्फ्यूज्ड हो जायेंगे, सच्चाई ये है की आपके पार्टनर को सब कुछ पता है फिर भी उन्होंने ऐसा किया है मतलब साफ है वो इस रिश्ते में नहीं रहना चाहते और न ही आपको कोई सफाई देना चाहते हैं, उनका जो भी लेना देना आपके साथ था वो अब ख़तम हो चूका है उन्हें कोई फरक नहीं पड़ता अब आप अपनी लाइफ में क्या करोगे या कर रहे हो और इस सच्चाई को आप जितनी जल्दी समझ के आगे बढ़ेंगे उतना ही जल्दी आप इस ब्रेकअप से बाहर आ पाएंगे.

एक चीज़ यहाँ समझनी बहुत ज़रूरी है की आप लाखोँ कोशिशें कर के देख लो पर जिन्हे जाना था वो जा चुके हैं और अब आपको भी इस सच्चाई को एक्सेप्ट कर के लाइफ में आगे बढ़ना चाहिए , ऊपर वाले को शुक्रिया बोल कर, क्यों की सच यही है की जो तोड़ के गया है वो जोड़ेगा क्युँ ।

घोस्टिंग मतलब मुँह छुपा कर भाग जाना, सेल्फिश एक्ट है ये जिसमे एक पार्टनर अपना मतलब निकल जाने के बाद आपको ना ही कोई जवाब दे रहा है ना ही पहचान रहा है, क्यूंकि वो कमजोर है उसमे हिम्मत नहीं की वो आपका सामना कर सके आपको आपके सवालों का जवाब दे सके, आपका सबसे पहला काम है खुद से प्यार करना और आप वही कीजिये, किसी सवाल के जवाब के लिए उनके पीछे ना जाइये और आगे बढिये।

लाइफ उनके साथ और उनके लिए जिए जो आपके लिए हैं और आपके लिए जिम्मेदार हैं , मूव ऑन बस यही कहना चाहूंगी।

न्यू लाइफ के लिए आल द बेस्ट।

Ghosting-Escaping! How to Deal....

noreply@blogger.com (Connect With Anika) — Thu, 15 Sep 2022 07:55:00 +0000

Someone suddenly leaves you and goes away without saying or listening anything, it hurts a lot but you can not do anything because the person in front has gone away from you and has also closed all the ways of contact.

This is called ghosting, or simply running away. It does not matter to the one who runs away from it, but the one who is alone and left behind has to suffer mentally and emotionally.

Why do people run away like this, today we will discuss this topic.

There can be many reasons behind this behavior.

Many times the other person is not that serious in the relationship the way we take deeply, or to say that the relationship we are considering is a not a relationship for the other person, they are just to spend some good time with you and considering this like a casual relationship.

Here it is very important to understand what is the real reason behind your breakup or ghosting with you.

Watch video on karmic Relations for better understanding Karmic Relationship

Often such an action is taken only when one of the two people either does not want to come into the relationship or after coming, they realizes that this relationship is not right for them.

Let us understand this thing in simple way, suppose you are studying in college and you have an emotional relationship with someone there, some days went very well, then one day your partner suddenly stopped replaying to your calls or messages,now you are wondering why this must have happened, you haven’t done anything wrong with them.

Whereas a relationship is such in which you are emotionally attached with someone who is already married, they can be male or female, everything was perfect for a few days or years, then suddenly the relations started getting bitter and your partner started ignoring you slowly. After a time while slowly moving away from you, he stopped all the ways of contact, now if you see him anywhere on the way, he does not even recognize you.

In both these examples, one thing must have been clear to you that there was a slow breakup in the relationship even though the method was different.

One thing to understand here is that a relation that was formed in college was not as deep as that of extra marital affair, maybe there is a lot of difference between age and experience, but breakup happened in both, let's try to understand the reason.

There was a novelty in the college affair, a good partner with study, a good time to hang out with, for a few days everything was fine or for a few years, then as soon as the tension of the career started, everything else started to be left behind, then all the attention turned towards the career in such a situation, who wants to roam, let's breakup, lets make the career first and voila breakup done. Lightly, casually because one is setting priorities in life.

In the case of extra-marital affair, when some new contacts are formed after marriage and a person of your choice is also involved in them, then it is common to have attraction, this attraction goes ahead and turns into an affair, a few years, months turn out to be good then society and the tension of family starts and the married partner starts looking for ways to breakup.

In simple words, ghosting is done only when one of the partners does not want to be in the relationship, the reason may be different, the ways may also be different, but the truth is that when this happens, the reason behind it is to get rid of the current relationship.

What to do in case of ghosting-

Whenever there is a breakup, it is obvious that one of the partners is left alone and they starts looking for answers to their questions which is very normal, you are suddenly left alone without any reason or closure,you are upset and want to find answers to your questions and for this you again send messages to your partner, but from there all the roads have already been closed, you are not able to reach them.

In this condition, you go into depression, both your personal and professional life gets spoiled because you are not able to pay attention to your work due to all this.

This is a very normal thing to happen after a breakup and most of us do all this and when this method does not work then we go into tension and depression, we feel that we lowered our self respect for this person,lost health and peace of mind too,here one thing is to be understood very carefully that when your partner had to be in a relationship with you, then why would they leave you, or if they wanted to answer your questions then why would they run away hiding their face.

Look, your partner has left you without saying anything, knowing that you will be confused, knowing that you will be in trouble, the truth is that your partner knows everything, yet they have done,it is clear that they are not in this relationship anymore.

They don't want to be with you nor do they want to give you any explanation, whatever they had to do with you is over now, they don't care what you will do or are doing in your life and the sooner you understand this truth the sooner you will be able to come out of this breakup.

It is very important to understand one thing that after making millions of efforts, but those who had to go have gone and now you should also accept this truth and move forward in life, thanking the God, he mad you see the reality of your cowardly partner.

Ghosting means running away by hiding your face, it is a selfish act in which a partner is neither answering nor recognizing you after they are done with you, because they are weak, they does not dare to face you. To answer the questions, your first thing is to love yourself and do the same, don't go after them, move forward you will find a suitable partner when the right time will come.

Live life with and for those who are there for you and are responsible for you, Move On is just the way.

All the best for new life.

Anika