Have you ever heard this question before? Are you willing to…?

Most likely referring to something people are expecting you to do, or not do. Sometimes, you have not even thought that willingness had anything to do with the matter in question. What if willingness has everything to do with how you show up in life?

If we look at the picture (my dog and my chickens), we could come up with various questions, such as:

1. Question to the dog: Are you willing to wait?

2. Second question to the dog: Are you willing not to eat the chicken?

3. Third question to the dog: Are you willing to protect the chicken?

4. Question to the chicken: Are you willing to trust the dog won’t eat you?

It sounds silly, right? Animals can’t make such conscious choices unless they are trained to respond that way, and if we leave them to their instincts, you probably know the answer to these questions. While this may seem a silly exercise, it illustrates something very well-known to us humans, behaviorally. It raises a critical point if one desires accountability and reinvention as outcomes for anything they do.

Do you recall situations when you unwillingly acted upon? What happened then? Possibly, did it feel like an awful experience with awful results? Perhaps something triggered a mindset shift from an unwilling to a willing state in you or another person? What would you do differently next time around?

While we are wired differently and have diverse backgrounds and experiences, we all relate to situations in which we have experienced positive thinking and feelings when engaged in something purposeful or as a consequence of others’ joyful disposition to contribute. Sometimes, the world wants us to believe that we should only engage when we feel happy or intentional. Is that really so? I challenge that all the time. Based on my own experience and listening to clients’ experiences, we know that in reality, regardless of whether one is driven by joy or not, the opportunities and gifts of any experience will eventually come. Your mindset and attitude in that particular situation and afterward will have a significant impact on the consequences and on how you remember it. Willingness has everything to do with it.

1. The willingness to accept reality. We can’t ignore reality forever. Eventually, it will challenge us, and if ignored, potentially lead to a breaking point. No one wants to suffer for days, months, or sometimes years, but not choosing to face reality is like selecting a chronic pain over a wound from a fall. By accepting, a shift occurs in our brain as we acknowledge that we are also part of this reality, and ownership takes hold. Are you willing to take responsibility for your part in this reality?

2. The willingness to acknowledge that every human is imperfect (including you) and decide that a change is necessary - whether in your way of thinking, acting, or being. Are you ready to change?

3. The willingness to act upon by choosing one doable first step to take. Sometimes a freeze happens when one believes there is nothing that could be done to change the situation. Challenging these types of crystallized assumptions is crucial to moving forward. You may find yourself motivated to take a first step, but then you choose one step that is too big, too complicated, too much. As a result, things don’t work well, and the justification, blaming, shaming, and disempowerment follow. There is always something you can do, so don’t get into the trap of “go big”. Choose a simple step. Sometimes, a simple thought: “I will do it, even if I feel like not doing it”. Sometimes, replacing a bad habit with a flourishing one (always substitute a habit, don’t try to stop without a more positive one to replace it). Sometimes, just choosing to do something slightly different or in a different way. You need a small step to take you out of the inertia. Are you willing to choose differently?

Okay… at this point, you may be able to see how these three steps could potentially improve “accountability”, but you also heard me saying “reinvention”. Yes, I did say accountability and reinvention flourishing. Anytime a human being faces a challenging situation, whether easy or hard to overcome, this person faces the dilemma of either ignoring that they had a part in it (victimization, narcissism, arrogance, pride, various names and forms…) or choosing to humbly recognize that they had a part in it and could do something different in future similar situations. A-ha! This is the concept of learning!

Now, how do we jump from learning to reinvention?

When I say ‘reinvention,’ think of times when numerous complex events prompted you to reassess various aspects of your life. Same concept, same steps, but choosing to focus on one area at a time - choose the most important and positively impactful to you. While you are laser-sharp in focus, everything else will start falling into place, and reality shifts to a new reality, with gifts and opportunities presenting new choices on your path.

Now what? What are you willing to do?

And remember:

Be wonderful,

Have you ever noticed that, depending on how you set up your grammar corrector, it “corrects” a passive voice sentence by suggesting that you rewrite it in an active voice? I wondered what would happen if everyone started following this suggestion without pausing and reflecting on whether that is a change they want to make.

What would we miss by changing from a passive voice to an active voice?

Today, I use this analogy to illustrate the opportunity we miss when solely focusing on the actor and the actions.

What happens when we shift our eyes to the receiver and the process?

The search for a subject, the owner of the action, seems almost automatic in our speech. It is as if focusing on the subject, whether to praise or blame, brings us some resolution, but does it?

Ancient texts and scientific articles often use passive voice. But if we start talking in passive voice all the time, people will most likely get annoyed, and some will not even understand what we're talking about. Would that be just a linguistic style? I think understanding how we got here is a topic for another conversation, a vast one I am unfamiliar with.

My point is that we may be unwillingly and unknowingly shifting to a more self-centric society when our words overfocus on the action and the actors.

What if we intentionally shift our focus to the receiver and the process? That is precisely what some use of the passive voice does for us.

Sometimes the subject is implicitly known or irrelevant to the message:

 - Mistakes were made (it does not matter by whom, and the focus is on the mistakes) - shifting from blame to betterment-

- They were blessed (implicitly by God, and the focus is on who received the blessing and the act of blessing) - 

- The cells were treated for infection and left to rest for three days in the incubator (adding flow to a process description) - 

Sometimes, it is intentionally a mystery, so it gets the reader’s attention:

- The window was suddenly opened (by whom? This is the mystery) -

The passive voice implicitly conveys the subject’s action but intentionally focuses on the receiver. It makes me wonder how hard it is for some people to step back and receive instead of giving. Receiving requires humility, which is usually not associated with strength in our society.

Are we so broken that words are more potent in engaging with ourselves and people than the humble willingness to be transformed by the exchange of giving and receiving? Are we that proud?

Constant reflection and deep awareness are required to break free from the automatic flow of self-preservation and move toward other-centeredness and collective transformation.

I invite you to experiment intentionally by changing your phrases to passive voice. Maybe you want to emphasize a process rather than the subject or describe an observation poetically. Perhaps, you would like to focus on the recipient and the act of receiving. Just play with it and see what happens! Wonders may happen!

Be wonderful,

What could we learn about boundaries from kombucha?

A lot! From making, drinking, researching, and even understanding what it is.

There is much fear associated with ingesting live organisms and with reasoning. There are microorganisms and microorganisms. Some do us good, some not. Some need the right environment to partner with our body, specifically our gut lining.

The SCOBY, which produces kombucha, is a partnership itself. It is a Symbiotic Colony of Bacteria and Yeast, which means bacteria and yeast work together to benefit each other mutually. As a consequence of the fermentation, the product of the successful interaction releases probiotic bacteria that contribute to our gut health, like other fermented foods.

As a researcher, I would be skeptical if I relied only on the inferred benefits from published studies and if kombucha and other fermented foods had no practical evidence for my and my family's health. I won't cover the personal benefits in this article, but I just wanted to highlight that the benefits outweigh the challenges for me. Kombucha is not as challenging to make and maintain as many people think.

Back to symbiotic colony and boundaries, it all started with the February 15, 2025 weekly wonder. To the benefit of those who have not read it, here it is:

How do you set boundaries?

Why boundaries? Wonders happen within boundaries. What???

When I asked my child what she knew about boundaries, she answered, "My space?" Her answer was a question as if she meant to explore and expand her understanding.

Spatial boundaries are the ones we more readily see and feel, so it is sensible to be the ones we notice and take action. It is intriguing: What boundaries are present, visible, and invisible, and what is my part in setting, maintaining, or adjusting them?

I have always been fascinated by the diverse yet coordinated processes of cellular development and how cells communicate with one another to form tissues, organs, and systems that operate as one.

Most, if not all, cell membranes have protein complexes that serve as selective gates, allowing specific molecules to enter or exit the cell. Intra- and intercellular signaling coordinates the what, when, and how. It is a beautiful yet complex process.

Today, I mean to focus the boundaries analogy to the selective nature of cell membranes and compare it to a porous cloth, like in the image above.

I invite you to take a moment to contemplate.

See where I am going? It is fascinating to think how complex the interaction between the organisms might be for a thriving symbiotic colony to take shape. Cells must constantly communicate. Permission is a mutual agreement, so a win-win situation is possible, and a third win for the system and environment is generated. It is beautiful.

Somehow, they had to "get to know" each other, learn the "gifts" each one could potentially bring to the table, and then set boundaries. What?

Yes, boundaries. Imagine if there were no boundaries. How would they know if they went too far, like engaging in abusive behaviors that would harm the partner? How would they know how far they could go to take advantage of each other's gifts?

When boundaries are not respected, each party stops contributing their best. In the case of kombucha, acetic acid is produced when fermentation happens, which prevents pathogenic (to humans) bacteria from growing. Imagine if one of the parties breaks the agreement and kombucha stops making acetic (and other) acid. Yes, other opportunistic organisms would take over, and there would be no more health benefits from kombucha.

I invite you to stop here, step back, and zoom out to check the parallels with your relationships. Are they respectful, supportive, and helping you thrive? If not, check the boundaries of this relationship. Is there anything that needs adjustment? It is a long journey, so do not despair. Let's walk one step at a time. What is your first step?

How do you feel about contributing to society and a higher purpose if you are confident in your boundaries? Where are you at?

Be wonderful!

Dear Learning Farm Folks,

I want to express my deep gratitude for the opportunity to lead the 5-weeks group coaching experience for the counselors-in-training, CITs, and the leaders-in-training, LITs, as part of the STEAM in Nature Summer Program at The Learning Farm. It was incredible!

I am humbly grateful to learn from the CITs and LITs, co-creating creative learning experiences and co-creating spaces for deep sharing and learning. CITs and LIT, you are amazing!

Each week was different from the previous one, expressing the uniqueness of each group and the individuals' strengths and interests. I am forever grateful to witness the beautiful journey from uniqueness and individual strengths to collective diversity and team building.

Being close to nature, moving from niche to niche, around all the spaces, we shared the nature metaphors while discovering and exploring our growth and development as individuals and understanding our place in society. What a unique place!

Also, as the mom of 3 of the summer campers, I am delighted to share my appreciation for such great learnings and memories created!

Much love,

HERE ARE THE LINKS TO DIGITAL RESOURCES FOR THE CAMPERS:

1. The Greater Goals Book

2. A Journey to Fully Being with Terrarium Making

Here is what campers said about their experience:

“I thought that the program was super motivating and inspiring. I loved all of the creative activities and projects that we did and how they all had meanings and messages behind why we were doing them. I also really liked how the program was very engaging and fun!”

—Kalia C., CIT, Counselor-in-Training, STEAM in Nature Summer Program 2021

“Well, In my opinion, Cintia is a great teacher and a great friend and you get to do so many fun and wonderful things in her group and the learning farm itself. With Cintia, you get to learn about equality and equity and teamwork and yourself. It’s very fun and I would really advise you to go. Have fun and learn new things. Let me get a round of applause for Cintia! :)”

— Anonymous LIT, Leader-in-Training, STEAM in Nature Summer Program 2021

“I don’t recommend you stopping what you do. You are amazing!”

— M.B., LIT, Leader-in-Training, STEAM in Nature Summer Program 2021

“I loved the way that Cintia weaved in serious topics into fun and interesting activities. I loved how she was able to explain real-world problems through horrific/beautiful examples. It is an amazing experience and it has changed my perception of the world around me. I’ve had a truly wonderful time, and have learned so much.

— S.L., LIT, Leader-in-Training, STEAM in Nature Summer Program 2021

“If you are interested in gaining experience leading children and becoming a role model, you should look into this program.”

— Anonymous CIT, Counselor-in-Training, STEAM in Nature Summer Program 2021

“There’s this really cool camp called the Learning Farm and every day from 2 to 5 they have this really awesome, sweet, and funny person come in. Their name is Cintia! (I don’t remember if I asked for preferred pronouns so I am using they/their) Cintia is a life coach and teaches the CITs and LITs about leadership. You learn a lot of things and do a lot of teamwork exercises which are super fun! You get to make terrariums and learn the difference between equity and equality. You can make plays/skits. There are so many great things so go and sign up! Right now! Go Go Go Go!!!! :D”

— Anonymous LIT, Leader-in-Training, STEAM in Nature Summer Program 2021

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachCintia OrsiWed, 13 Jan 2021 18:15:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2021/1/13/cintia-h-orsi-coaching-analogy-with-terrarium-making611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf189My Analogy of Coaching with Terrarium Making

When I think of a successful enclosed terrarium, I imagine an ecosystem in equilibrium. To be self-sufficient, it has everything it needs, e.g., nutrients, water, oxygen, light, and other gases.

Although I know what is required for the terrarium to thrive, not every terrarium does. Each terrarium is unique. Uniqueness is beautiful.

In analogy, each person is also unique. We all need food, energizing activities, rest, challenges, connection… Some habits that have served us in the past may have become automatic in our lives. We end up not even asking whether they are still helpful today or in the future. We may also find that limiting beliefs or old narratives we keep telling ourselves hold us back in achieving thriving results. The unique combination of experiences, beliefs, ways of thinking, and patterns of attitudes makes us all wonderfully unique.

When a terrarium is created, it takes time to stabilize, meaning plants stop dying or taking over. If we impersonate the terrarium, we could say that it first struggles right after creation. Some plants may die, some fungus may take over, there may be the need to adjust the water level and the light conditions. Observation is critical to creating awareness, and action is crucial for proper care. As it progresses, less time and maintenance are required. The terrarium will finally find its balance. 

Analogously, we as human beings are subjected to adversity multiple times in a day. Weather, traffic, delays, calls, bad news, you can name it. Then, we make decisions based on the information we have at that moment for a plan of action, which will positively impact getting close to an important goal. Also, similarly, we observe, connect, create awareness.

As a plant lover, I observe and look for signs of plant adjustment or signs of struggle. Since the goal is to achieve an independent ecosystem, less interference is better for the system to experiment and learn self-sustaining. The system knows that with external conditions changes, it has to adapt again. By doing so, it becomes more resilient to adversities. In coaching, the coach actively listens, reflects back on what was observed and noticed, and with the permission of the coachee, partners with them to support them in creating awareness and developing plans of action to achieve meaningful results.

Here is where I come to serve and support you in your journey of self-awareness and clear empowerment vision to strive to be the best person you can be.

Soul, mind, and heart. Connected. Complete.

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseGive + CoachingCintia OrsiSat, 09 Jan 2021 15:03:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2021/1/9/good-habits-that-flourish611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:615dacb1201b921858365eea

You are good at doing something. Good or bad, you know what you do well. Some may say that you can do it very easily, effortlessly, naturally, that you don't even notice, let alone be aware of the process that led you there!

I opened my inbox today, and the first thing I read was an article in the Science session, coronavirus coverage, of National Geographic, telling the story of the scientific journey that culminated in the first wave of Covid-19 vaccines. It is a fascinating collaborative scientific breakthrough that by itself is worthwhile to know. But for me, more enlightening was the researcher's realization at the end of the article: "I have kind of felt like my whole career has been lining up for 'such a time as this,'" Graham said referring to the Book of Esther. 

 Earlier on in the article, quoting the author: "Graham doesn't quite know how to answer when asked how it feels to have decades' worth of work contribute to rapidly developed vaccines that could save hundreds of thousands of lives amid a severe global pandemic. "That's not the way we usually think about it," he says. "I don't think you really think that much about your feelings until you get to certain milestones."

The focus of the scientists during decades was on their research, on the learning edge of their scientific field. Then the opportunity came for them to make a difference beyond their projects, beyond their initial goal.

When in your life have you felt like that? As if a cumulative effect goes unnoticed until it reaches a threshold that... you know it! Have you got a milestone? In Graham's case, their initial research purpose was not on the COVID-19 vaccine when they started their research more than ten years ago.

• In which ways could we exercise this way of thinking when we ponder and commit to the habits in our daily lives?

• What is important to you?

• What is that you do that is not helping you? What do you choose to stop?

• What is it that you want to get better at?

• What emotions are triggered that prevents you to keep moving? And what emotions give you the traction to move forward?

The understanding of habit formation and the science behind it is broadly available nowadays. This is not today's focus, so I won't go into the concepts and benefits (if you are interested, see some references below). I choose to highlight five reminders and applications of what I consider to be critical for the great practice of habit formation:

1. Acknowledge that there is an emotional component attached to your old habit and be committed to letting go. Susan David in Emotional Agility talks about gentle acceptance and the thriving move towards discomfort, all in alignment with your deepest values.

2. Know yourself: recognize the old habits that are not helping you anymore and STOP! Once you do that, something else will have to occupy that space and time in your life! Make good choices for what that will be!

3. Keep learning about yourself and finding ways to apply them in your daily life. Coaches can help you with that. I highlight mental models that focus on the process of forming a new habit, such as intentional and recurrent cycles of action * reflection = learning by David B. Peterson

4. Small changes - James Clear (see reference below) writes about concepts to support new habits. Lessons are taken from various fields of study and focus on small changes.

5. A great coach can help you experiment with your learnings and apply new concepts and mental models to your daily life.

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV

Gratefully,

For more learning:

About the existence of habits and its impacts:

Duhigg, C. (2012). The power of habit: Why we do what we do in life and business. New York: Random House.

 Gretchen Rubin (2016) Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life. Publisher: John Murray Press.

Clear, James. 2018. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones; Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results.

Mindfulness and Coaching by Daniel Goleman

https://instituteofcoaching.org/resources/2017-conference-interview-daniel-goleman

David, Susan. 2016. Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change and Thrive in Work and Life. . Penguin Books Limited.

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachMother & CoachCintia OrsiSat, 19 Dec 2020 15:42:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/12/19/what-if-we-let-the-light-guide-the-way611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:615db5d68697474058c12074

This text started with my curiosity about the origin of the expression (which does not exist in English) DAR A LUZ (GIVING LIGHT, which means GIVING BIRTH). I didn't even start researching because I chose to reflect on the countless life circumstances in which we use childbirth as a metaphor and the comfort that light brings in the darkness. I even wrote a poem:

Sometimes I wait so long in the dark,

that it's harder to choose to get out of it

than staying there in the dark.

The dark? Ah! This one I know well.

And lights appear in my life.

I wonder,

But, you know what? Just from a distance, okay?

I choose to let it go ...

Sometimes I don't even see

or remember that the lights exist,

because my gaze is on the path that is already behind

and not on the way to follow.

What if I choose to look ahead and follow the Light?

Author: Cintia Orsi December 19, 2020.

When asked if the caterpillar metaphor that turns into a butterfly has the same meaning and impact for me as the metaphor of giving birth for transformation, I reflected and meditated on the subject. I concluded that both could mean many different things. In addition, the meanings and impacts differ from person to person, so, while recognizing the limitations and personalization of metaphors, I would like to share my perspective within some parameters, taking the lens of my life trajectory, experiences, knowledge and gifts. I would love to hear your perspective on these metaphors for your life.

Both metaphors refer to:

1. Complex processes that require waiting and patience

2. The result of the transformation is joyous and beautiful.

3. It involves a biological process that, once started, cannot be paused.

 Butterfly:

1. Passive

2. It looks spotless and painless - although we don't know that

3. Self-centered

4. After butterfly, the transformation responsibility ends

Childbirth:

1. Active

2. Pain and suffering as part of the process

3. Centered on the other

4. After birth, the transformation responsibility begins

In the search, perhaps unconscious, to avoid pain and suffering, we could choose the metaphor of the butterfly to allow ourselves to know and create the opening to the new and uncertain.

When we know about pain and surrender to the truth of who we are and our purpose in the world, we stop running from discomfort to embrace something much bigger, focused on the path, the learning process, and the value of our presence in any life circumstance.

The Portuguese language has an expression that does not exist in English. "GIVING LIGHT"- whose literal translation does not exist in English, the translation is GIVING BIRTH - . Without entering into the discussion of the various interpretations that this metaphor could refer to, it rescues the hope of better times, whose end is wonderful and whose process is painful.

Giving birth = Giving Light = Make way for the Light to arrive. Being the light for the baby that has been developing within the mother's womb, or the Light that came to illuminate the world's darkness.

A waiting process, which goes through the pain but at the same time remains strong in the hope of greatness to come.

What if this was a time of choice? What would be the metaphor of your choice? What change would it represent?

 With love,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachCintia OrsiThu, 10 Dec 2020 21:41:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/12/10/redefining-your-business-keep-learning611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:615e09e3ceb9f04a2ecb33a3

We have reached the end of 2020! Thankfully! After an extraordinary pandemic year in our lives, we entered a period of much reflection. Regardless of where we are in the world, our beliefs, what nation we come from and are living in, this time of the year rescues something deeper in each of us that, in a way, directly or indirectly, prepares us to be more available to others.

 Covid-19 has impacted many businesses. Many closed while others had to redefine themselves. Difficult decisions had to be made. Mais Verde Mais Vida is one of the businesses that had to reinvent itself. The journey for this small company continues despite the unknown and remains confident in its purpose and continuous learning.

 Building terrariums is an analogy to my coaching process (see Cintia H. Orsi coaching analogy with terrarium making). And it has a whole personal story and meaning behind it. I learned how to build terrariums with one of the teachers and founders of Mais Verde Mais Vida during long winters spent indoors. It was a great gift to me and many who know me (blog article Have Fun Building Terrariums).

Back to Mais Verde Mais Vida, the business redefinition process that involves decisions in a complex scenario and the continuous reflection through experimentation and learning is reaching more people than before.

Agility

1. Mais Verde Mais Vida had to be redefined quickly. Difficult decisions were made to transform the business that consisted of a physical space for terrarium building and face-to-face classes into a virtual company.

2. As you read in this short paragraph above, it would seem that it was pretty easy. Still, if we dive into the decision process and actions are taken, we will notice that the entrepreneurs had to change how they were thinking about their business. It had to happen in a short window of time:

• Please recognize that the world they knew was no more

• Accept change and the complex world

• Deciding to continue with the business despite the uncertainties

• Search for options and define the first step to be taken in the direction of maintaining the business.

Resilience

1. "I fell and got up, fell again, got up again. I will fall and get up as many times as necessary because I know that my role requires me to stand." Encouraged by students and motivated to find new ways to serve them, the businesswomen focused their efforts on learning and discovering new ways to use their talents and skills while respecting social distance, even if financial recovery was not immediate. This was another critical decision that required discernment and courage.

Eagerness to Learn and Persistence

1. "We don't know what we don't know." Recognizing that there is always something to be learned has a significant impact on how we view any situation. We listen better, show more interest and curiosity, open our minds to perspectives different from ours. With this way of thinking, the businesswomen dedicated themselves to building a new way of engaging and teaching. They are discovering that learning has no end and that the most important thing is always to keep in mind why they are doing what they are doing. Why do we exist as a business? For what purpose?

Confidence in the Purpose

1. Why is this business important to you? How do you see the various parts of your identity in this business? For what purpose? Then entrepreneurs have gone through and continue to go through a process of discovery. In this complex world, the openness and availability to adapt, continue to grow, and understand their role in everything they commit to doing have fueled the flame of trust resulting in strength and courage to face the challenges.

Confidence in the value they bring to people

1. With the need for change and the space for reflection and learning that they created, the businesswomen learned that what they offer to their customers does not necessarily have a direct relationship with what customers receive from their services. One key awareness moment happened when they realized that they were distinct. While the offer is rooted on their mission and purpose, like sharing a piece of who they are, the impact on customers has been much more expansive, encouraging and with the potential of systemic effect: opportunity as a source of income for some, well-being and mental health for others, appreciation of nature for all. How many people are already directly benefiting from the work of Mais Verde Mais Vida, and how many more people may be helping indirectly?

Reconnecting with something beautiful is worth it. Reconnecting with your purpose is wonderful and empowering. Our life is full of metaphors that reveal something much bigger than ourselves and than life per se.

What is your metaphor?

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseWords of GratitudeThe Journey of a CoachCintia OrsiThu, 05 Nov 2020 22:55:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/11/5/changing-with-the-seasons-learning-to-appreciate-change611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:615e1b3f6e93da7e7bee9a7e

Have you tried to resist the change of seasons? Perhaps, like me, you were raised in a tropical climate and have not learned to enjoy cold winters since a young age. I tried to pretend the winter was not a big deal. Well, I learned the hard ways to take it seriously, feeling in my bones the ice melting, taking the heat from my body. Wearing winter clothes from Brazil was indeed not appropriate for the winter in Ithaca.

This realization was a gift to me: we tend to take what is right in front of us for granted. There is so much to learn and appreciate growing in a place that is warm all year long, as well as there is so much to learn and appreciate growing in a place with the clear four seasons change.

 What have I learned with the changes of the seasons?

It is November and already snowing here in Ithaca. That brings us the awareness that the seasons are changing, and we can find the signs everywhere. However, perhaps half of the people in the world have never lived the change of the seasons. I shared my personal insights and learnings in a previous posting when we moved from Brazil to the United States (more in Pack for a Purpose). This time, I share the wisdom that came from living the change of seasons.

The reference I used to have of what is cold-freezing changed entirely when we moved to Ithaca. I learned that clothing is indeed a matter of survival. It was progressive, the learning, the understanding, the shift of perspective. Many people without homes in Brazil live on the streets. One can express solidarity by making and bringing them meals, blankets, ears to listen, a word of comfort. Where are the people without housing in this harsh winter of Ithaca? Where do they go? What is insecurity? Who are the vulnerable? A new context, new ways of thinking and acting.

With the change of seasons, one must prepare to survive. The mind is set for change. No one knows how long or how hard the winter will be, but everybody knows winter is coming. Having such predictability perhaps brings some comfort. Then I progressively started to appreciate the seasonal changes in a way I was not expecting. Looking for the signs of the changes, noticing the leaves turning colors, the fall of the leaves, the dry leaves spread and accumulated on the ground, the wind blowing them up in the air. The beauty in the process of the change, not yet in the season that was coming.

What was it like for me to prepare my mind for the change of the seasons? It was like intentionally seeking joy in each one of them. Even winter.

1. My first reaction in the first winter (which, by the way, was one of the coldest in Ithaca) - I did not know that I did not know! I learned that I was not ready to accept the change. How do I know that? Because naively, I had to go through a series of almost freezing and sickness moments to learn that the heaviest clothes I brought from Brazil would not serve for the winter of Ithaca. I experienced winter in a new context! My definition of winter expanded.

2. Ready to accept: PUT ON NEW CLOTHES - When I finally got proper clothing, what a difference! It is like changing ways of thinking; we need to switch. We tend to hang on to things that do not serve us any longer, sometimes because that was all that we knew. Am I ready to let go of things that don't help any longer? - Changing the wardrobe for the coming season is not a habit we usually have in Brazil. We have the potential to wear the same clothes all year long. So that was a new process for us. A process that we had to learn.

   1. As an opportunity to be grateful for the past season clothing: passing on to others what does not fit any longer, folding and storing the ones that we will use in the next year, by doing that, you cultivate the sense of gratitude and remembrance of others in need.

3. Ready to embrace - For me, assuming each season means more than live traditions. It is very nice to celebrate the season's traditions, remember history and have a collective celebration! However, what made a more significant impact for me was the involvement, the waves of engagement, and genuine care that each season inspires in different ways. It is about how the uniqueness of the seasons impacts people that make the change beautiful!

4. Ready to appreciate - What a wonderful world this would be if we all could embrace our human diversity the same way we celebrate and value the diversity of the seasons! Each one highlights a different perspective of the creation, while each one has its place and purpose.

   1. I discovered a new way of appreciating the sunlight and the outdoors! By seeking creative learning in nature and playing outdoors! Wonderfully reconnecting with nature. (A special thanks to STEAM in Nature Summer Program, who, even in quarantine, made it possible to connect at a distance).

   2. The passion for terrarium making with the kids began in winter time (blog posting Having Fun Making Terrariums!). I discovered a new way of appreciating the cozy indoor moments with the family! By seeking creative ways to develop new skills while indoors during the wintertime. Also, giving another meaning to virtual connection during these times of Covid-19 and appreciating the small group connections, bible studies, book clubs, creatively learning new ways to build fellowship.

Here is the most exciting thing happening to us. When we first came, we missed the constant warm weather from Brazil and were blind to the beauty of the cooler seasons. Today, I can say that we are growing into appreciation by intentionally seeking the beauty of each season. Like watching our children grow and appreciating each special moment we have with them, we make an effort to create those special moments every season. Outdoors or indoors, with or without technologies, with the heart, the mind, the soul into whatever is given to us in the present moment.

I have learned to appreciate the process of change towards a purpose much more extensive than any human mind can imagine. It is about enjoying the journey by cultivating gratitude, compassion, and a sense of interconnectedness.

Thank you,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachGive + CoachingCintia OrsiThu, 22 Oct 2020 13:18:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/10/21/my-experience-with-coaching-supervision-growing-together611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:615ef38373eff7331bba277a

For me, coaching Supervision by Marie Quigley MCC was a celebration of who we are and to our contribution to the world. The group of supervised coaches, Sonali Edwards, Irina Bartlett CPCC, ICF ACC, and I connected from different parts of the world, different time zones, different training, different experiences, backgrounds and origins, and accents… Beautiful! Perhaps words in text won't do justice to describe the experience. It is still worth sharing.

According to the International Coaching Federation (ICF), "Coaching Supervision is a collaborative learning practice to continually build the capacity of the coach through reflective dialogue for the benefit of both coaches and clients. Coaching Supervision focuses on developing the coach's capacity by offering a richer and broader opportunity for support and development. Coaching Supervision creates a safe environment for the coach to share their successes and failures in becoming masterful in the way they work with their clients."

Marie created a welcoming environment for us to share, ask, request, offer, challenge, and support each other. Every session was a new exchange, the giving and receiving support while challenged, growing, and expanding perspectives. I realized how quickly the process led to deep learning through genuine care and bold challenges. It provided an essential pause for reflection at various scales, zooming in and out, noticing patterns, pros, and cons, ethical and moral boundaries. Then up to us to act on the learnings.

It was a fantastic way to expand perspectives and skills in a supportive, trustful and loving space. It started from an understanding that we are all learning and growing and will benefit from mutual support.

It is essential to highlight that this is my experience within this particular context: with Irina, Sonali, and under Marie's supervision. The group dynamic was amazing! I acknowledge the impact of the individual talents and knowledge, the specific expertise for supervision and care, and the coach's openness and commitment to vulnerability and growth.

A space where being unique was celebrated, and that resonated very much with me. It was a space where reconnecting with a higher purpose was possible. The realization that the freedom of expressing your uniqueness comes not with the desire for normalization but from a genuine curiosity about how you think and act. From the initial goal: how can we help each other be the best coach for our clients? How can we help each other to be the best person I am meant to be?

It went beyond the purpose of the improvement of coaching. I see it as an opportunity for the coaches to be heard, known, share their stories and find their voices.

 I am very grateful for this group of outstanding coaches. We all came from different places sharing the commitment to be there for each other. It was amazing!

I am thankful, Marie Quigley, for the wise supervision and Sonali and Irina for this fantastic experience of growing together.

I am sending you all my love full of gratitude for all the relationships and connections God brings to my life.

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachMother & CoachCintia OrsiThu, 08 Oct 2020 19:23:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/10/7/covid-19-and-my-time-for-my-kids-now-what611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:61609ab97255f7345d28fc99

Covid-19, pandemic, quarantine, unexpected changes. The impact on us, being on the peak of alertness and emotional stress. As a mother, friend and coach, I have heard heartbroken messages from parents like these:

1. I am about to give up educating my children

2. I need help

3. My children are not happy

4. My children need friends

5. My children feel lonely

6. I need to give them the best; otherwise, I am not a good father

How do they resonate with you?

I have four children, and sometimes I wish they had the same schedule and routine. But life doesn't work like that. I am offering here my pain and my learnings. Not that I have the answers, but perhaps by sharing my story, I can provide some comfort or other ways of thinking and acting. Today, I understand that to know my children and grow with them, I must be intentionally present (not necessarily physically). I recognize the fact that children do not stop growing, even with the pandemic. They will continue to develop and learn with or without my support and guidance. Likewise, as a mother, I will also continue to learn and grow.

With the quarantine, the isolated life, and the changes to adapt the studies, parents recognize how critical is their presence in their children's lives, regardless of educational choices, country, culture, and beliefs.

While participating in education and discoveries, enjoying simple moments or resolving complex dramas, the pandemic revealed what had been happening for a long time, but somehow disguised in the rush of our daily lives and the pressure of work: the outsourcing of parental presence, where we, conscientiously or not, replaced opportunities of family learnings moments (teachable moments) by activities that do not require our effective company. The pandemic also allowed the rescue of precious moments, revealing the dilemma of time with work and children. And now?

What's unique about my story? In 2017, a deliberate, intentional move. We dove into unknown waters a couple of years before Covid-19. I left a great job to change careers trusting faithfully that my gifts would be developed and used differently for the common good. We decided to deliberately live an integrated family life while learning to surrender many things (lifestyle, material goods, financial comfort, relationships) and to discern what is worthwhile or not to pursue in life. We were experiencing the discovery and the difficulties of starting a new cycle. Then Covid-19 arrived. Perhaps our previous experience with a significant change in thinking and living has led us to face reality and the unknown in a different way than most people. 

I do not intend to be naïve about Covid-19's devastating impact and its consequences as I lament and deeply feel the losses and pain of many. There seems to be a light in the little each one of us can do. I am aware that this moment requires action, cycles of internal and external reflection, and constant change of perception. By identifying the beauty of the simple things in life, I hope that we will find the strength to continue to grow for the very purpose of life that still exists. 

In moments of frustration, I thought how it would be if my children were similar in such a way that the lessons learned from the first experience could perfectly be applied to the next child. Imagine... not having to decipher and understand how your children function or respond, what motivates them, what their talents and gifts are. None of this would be necessary because you would already have the formula for success. What? What success? Who defines success? It would be like canceling out each of my kids' rich and intense personalities. It doesn't make any sense! I don't have that right. 

I am constantly reminded of the amazing gift and blessing of living with many different people, different personalities, energy, skills, talents to learn and grow with them. A whole world to see and participate in! I wish we could all see and participate in it!  

How about my frustration and waves of emotions? Well, I choose to explore and embrace this whirlwind of emotions that we, as a family and individuals, are going through daily and focus on something bigger than ourselves.

"I wish for parents to know their strengths and ability to raise great children - and for them to see the strengths, uniqueness, and beauty in their children!"  

- Nermine Zakhary, Strengths-Edge Founder & Chief Empowerment Officer

I see you, mother, father, and caregiver who feel the pressure of the beautiful parenting call. I hear you. I wish I could eliminate all that pain you feel, but I am not sure I can help. But perhaps you are the one who can do something about it, and this is your time. This is your time to make a difference!

I will share here some steps that work for me. Maybe they can help you in some way or perhaps they can serve as a basis for something much better suited for you:

1. Recognizing my emotions and limitations (I stop)

2. Based on my purpose, my values, what does matter? (I pray and listen)

3. Using emotions in favor of my actions (I reflect and choose)

4. "I choose to be well first, so I can help my children."

5. Taking ONE action (to begin with) that I can and am willing to take! (I do)

   1. Perhaps finding professional help

   2. Perhaps joining an online parenting group

   3. Perhaps identifying your own and your children’s strengths and talents

   4. Perhaps just choosing to enjoy the moment

My goal is to be joyfully present in integrating motherhood with helping others with my gifts by focusing on mutual growth and learning.

What is your goal?

With gratitude,                                     

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachGive + CoachingCintia OrsiSun, 20 Sep 2020 19:23:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/9/20/achieving-meaningful-excellence-maris-striving-journey-towards-the-perfect-bread611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:61609acf4fab3d195c3b71f4How to achieve excellence? What is excellence in the first place? By definition, excellence might refer to an exceptional characteristic or quality. Therefore, it requires comparison and consistency. And what am I comparing exactly? The history of humanity points us to excellence as a search and, at the same time, a result. So, where should my focus and effort to achieve excellence be? In the process or the outcome? I invited Marilene Pavan Rodrigues to share with us her experience in learning to make bread. For many of you, making bread has been a new experience during quarantine. Still, for Marilene, this journey began many years ago!

Marilene Pavan is a Brazilian biologist, researcher in synthetic biology at Lanzatech Inc., a company dedicated to producing ethanol from the fermentation of carbon dioxide. She lives in Chicago with her husband and kitten, Rodela.

On personal purpose and significance:

When Mari started making bread in 2015, she was working with yeast research at a multinational. Perhaps you already know that yeasts are the microorganisms responsible for the growth of bread, the "fresh yeast" that is prepared for better storage into "dry yeast". Part of her research involved yeast fermentation: "I remember being delighted, the first time we made a fermentation, I remember the smell. There was a time when it smelled like champagne. Sometimes it smelled like bread. And then I wanted to take a little bit of that knowledge and pleasure back to my home."

So Mari started making yeast to make bread.

Aware that you don't know and that there are skills to be developed:

"The first yeast didn't work! It died. It didn't go forward." - Mari vents when she tells us about the initial challenges. She expected that by having experience with yeast, it would be easier. Despite having knowledge and experience, the situation was different and therefore required other skills. The motivation was there, but recognizing that she still had a lot to learn and develop was a first step towards having an apprentice mentality and humility for effective learning! What an incredible learning moment!

• The first difficulty – "It takes about five days to have a yeast strong enough to make bread and then, in the beginning, it was difficult to control the temperature, control the amount of wheat, water, what kind of water ... In the beginning, I thought it was going to be a lot easier."

• The second difficulty - 'Challenging still, other variables that enter. Not only the yeast but also understanding how the flour behaves, how gluten is developed. This added to other levels of difficulty that I was not prepared for, so in the beginning, it was complicated to understand and master all these variables."

Keep persisting!

Developing a competence means starting from where you are and moving to the place you want to be! Often, we already have the competence developed in another area of life. We can transfer it to the extent that would benefit from that competence. Here is Mari's development of various skills:

1. Looking from different angles and perspectives

2. Recognition of strengths

3. Transfer of skills between areas of life

4. "A practice that I brought from the laboratory, as a scientist, and that helped me move faster was to write down everything I was doing and change one variable at a time. And in parallel looking for literature and specialized channels and trying to be informed about the process."

5. Focus on the process

6. "I learned a lot; this is something we must do in the laboratory, read a lot, trying to understand more deeply how things work, each step of the process, why they work the way they work. If something goes wrong, try to fix it, try to change one variable at a time. Or if you want to improve what you are already doing well, also write everything down and change one variable at a time, moving towards a perfect process."

7. Patience and practice

8. "As I faced the challenges, I had to be very patient, because making bread as well as the laboratory experiments, especially in the beginning, goes wrong more than right, so I had to be very patient, write down everything I was doing, studying and repeating."

What were the signs of success? 

According to Marilene's definition of success, she separates between result success and process success. The consistency of delivery is a sign of success towards excellence.

"I only got the perfect bread, the one I considered successful, after two years. But success for me was improving to the point that I would have a nice bread to eat and, more importantly, achieve consistency in what I was doing. In addition to being 'eatable' (stressing the edible condition). I started to get loaves of bread nice enough, one after the other."

"Consistency was what I considered my first success. I saw what was happening, what the process was like, how the flour and yeast were behaving, and how the temperature worked. So, it became easier to identify what could be improved and what were the points to improve from then on. When I started to consistently get loaves of bread good enough to eat and be able to get better faster, there, I thought I was successful."

Understanding what success means is essential to channel your focus and efforts. Focus on what is under your control that can be improved and optimized.

Aware that you know how to do well and keep going knowing that you will get even better!

Challenge yourself to learn something new, continue learning, and leave your comfort zone for a greater purpose. It requires the mentality that "we don't know what we don't know".

How do you know when it is time to challenge yourself? When the learning curve stops going up or goes up at a very slow rate. For Mari, the challenge was getting good at different types and techniques of bread making:

"I already know how to make sourdough, Italian, baguette, French bread, and within this universe, I know how to make bread with other flavors: pepperoni bread, sourdough with parmesan, and herbs, the baguette with cheese. I already made an amazing baguette with gorgonzola, fresh and dry-yeast fermented donuts. My pizza dough with fresh yeast is good too. Soughdoughs of different hydrations."

And the Journey Continues!

"I keep making bread, and the yeast is in the refrigerator. Now, with a more elaborate technique, I start on Saturday morning to bake on Sunday morning. Sometimes I pop it in the machine and let it grow, and sometimes I'll fold it every half an hour. Today is much better. The loaves of bread are consistently perfect. My next step is to move on to more advanced and complex techniques. The loaves of bread that I never tried to make, that I want to make, and that is more complicated would be the next phase: Ciabatta, which is more hydrated and more difficult to make and the two-color sourdough."

Excellence requires effort and much dedication. And beyond practice, challenging yourself beyond the comfort zone is what ends up distinguishing the good from the excellent!

Tip from Mari to whom never made bread and wants to start:

• You need patience and persistence.

• You have to write down everything you are doing.

• You have to try to find out.

• You have to observe and feel the dough and yeast.

"The feeling of getting perfect bread for the first time is overwhelming. I highly recommend it! All work, all dedication, all persistence will be worth it. These are learnings that you take to other areas of your life. These are things that you can apply to your work, relationships, and to look at some other areas of life differently."

Mari, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful journey of discovery and learning with us! It is a beautiful process that has become a powerful tool for all areas of your life!

“I consider making bread and this whole process of making bread very enriching helping me in other parts of life.”

-Marlene Pavan Rodríguez

Sustainable Change

I asked Mari's permission to share her story and our story.

I met Mari more than ten years ago while working for the same company. Mari was one of my first coachees in my pre-certification career. Later, I had the opportunity to serve her during the training and certification process for personal and executive coaching. We remain connected through friendship, personally and professionally, until today.

Redeeming this journey is a reminder of how grateful I am for the gift of having special people in my life so we can learn from each other and grow together.

With Love and Gratitude,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachGive + CoachingCintia OrsiTue, 01 Sep 2020 19:13:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/9/1/the-gift-of-being-present611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:61633b6f1d05097246811473Wow! Covid-19, pandemic, isolation, connecting, reconnecting. A rough journey that everyone is taking with no escape. It is a journey that might shed a different light on life if we are willing to see it differently, from a different angle, with a new mindset.

In preparation for the talk last week about "Letting your gifts lead," I embarked on a remembrance journey. What does a gift mean to me? What is meaningful to share? Why is it important to me?

It was inevitable not to think of relationships: the chance to relate with others as a gift; the chance to connect to myself as a gif; the chance to connect to God as a gift. I went to think of meaningful gifts I have received and given in life, and here is what I found:

Meaningful gifts (given or received) are:

1. Appreciated - "who gives" or "what is given" has something special about it. I appreciate. I care.

2. Unique - perhaps it was how, where or when that made the experience wonderfully unique. Maybe the thinking and thoughtful process were personal and memorable. It is so beautifully distinct!

3. Purposeful - the gift is something I want to use and share with the world. It generates action. What am I going to do about it?

A gift is something you receive or something you give. From God, from yourself, from others. It involves relationships. It is active, purposeful, and meaningful.

During the presentation, I realized how much we long to connect with others and seek a deeper meaning for our contribution to the world. Learning more about yourself and others, and embracing other's perspectives is a great way to get clarity on the impact that nurturing a relationship can bring.

Even more beautiful is the expansive awareness that, indeed, we are at the beginning of our journey in learning and understanding. We are learning how dependable we are. We are not self-sufficient. On the contrary, we are given every minute of our life the opportunity to continue learning new things from people we already know and meet new people and learn even more from them. 

As my journey into deeper understanding continues, I reconnected with my self from the past by reading the collective thoughts captured in my journals. I opened a page from about a year ago and read a wonderful reminder that fits so well today:

Present = Presente (in Portuguese) = Gift

The language, the meaning, reminds us that our presence in the present moment is a gift to ourselves and others. No matter language, no matter culture, no matter ethnicity, no matter social class. We all need each other. We all need relationships. Enjoying the present moment is the best gift we have today and perhaps the most accessible one that we can have at any time of life. 

I am very grateful to exercise being intentionally fully present every moment (it is difficult to keep the focus but worthwhile being intentional anyway), with my family, clients, friends, and new people I meet. It is, for me, a beautiful reminder of Christ's loving sacrifice for us, the ultimate gift.

The pandemic and its consequences have made us experiment with different ways of living, interacting, and appreciating ordinary things in life.

With love and gratitude,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachGive + CoachingMother & CoachCintia OrsiSat, 15 Aug 2020 20:00:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/8/14/books-stories-and-life-journey611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165e941965a6d6a94e7ea9d

What if you can open a new world of possibilities one book at a time?

When I was a child growing in Brasil, there was no internet back in time, decades ago. No easy access to the world but from TV, newspaper, radio, letters. Books were our primary educational resource and primarily as a school requirement. Remember? Books were also a place to exercise our imagination, escape to a different reality, or be able to accept our reality.

Being Japanese-descent, passionate for music and singing and dancing, multilingual development was part of my education and growth in the community. Speaking the same language or not, it did not matter. We made ourselves understood with gestures, eyes, nods. Pages turning from the right to the left or pages turning from the left to the right. It did not matter. They were books!

When it came to learning English, it was also an incredible adventure. I was constantly eager to know more. I, somehow, convinced my parents to subscribe to the National Geographic magazine, in English, which I knew was very expensive and of limited access as international shipping. Whatever I had to negotiate for it, it was worth it.

It was amazing to have the beautiful magazines at home (which I treated as books), at a special place. Pictures, photos, maps, meanings without words. Meanings with words. I took the time and joy reading and then went back to the best parts and places.

It was far beyond language learning; it opened up the doors to a world much bigger than I could know. I could learn about the places where my father had been traveling for work, dream of places I wanted to see in the future, contribute somehow and work with WWF to save the whales. I also started a pen-pal friendship circle. For those too young to know, this was a way to have friends abroad by exchanging letters.

I am very grateful for the opportunity and support I was given and for my parents and grandparents' best efforts into excellent education for the family.

What perhaps started with "learn a language" goal ended up being the beginning of embracing different cultures, building relationships with different people around the world, knowing other ways of living and doing things. All that contributed to my character as well. I am also grateful for the opportunities to practice and live a joyful life in stillness and in adversity. There is still so much to learn!

Some say that the books the person reads can tell a lot about a person. Maybe. Maybe not. It is not the content of the book itself that matters, but the lenses from the person's life experiences, where the focus is on the moment of reading and the person's willingness and ability to experiment and apply the new perspective and learnings in daily life. Learning is a beautiful and unique active process if we embrace it! How do you show in your life what you have learned?

It is a joy to witness continuous acts of selfless generosity such as the ones I see in The Learning Farm, Ubuntu Library, and other initiatives by Khuba International. People donate their time, talents, or money because they can and because they love. It is an exercise that is free, brings freedom, and the best of all, it can be done. What if each one of us could be this beautiful channel of love and giving? 

I am honored and grateful to have the Bible as my main library and for the chance to put into practice all the learnings. Hopefully, one day, a library in multiple languages. More than ever, the world needs doers. Doers who help others to see the wonders of the world.

Speaking about books, here are other books on my current reading table. I am either learning from them or get inspired by them:

1. WILSON, J. R. (2013). God's good world: reclaiming the doctrine of creation. Grand Rapids, Baker Academic.

2. (2019). COACH MODEL FOR CHRISTIAN LEADERS: powerful leadership skills for solving problems,... reaching goals, and developing others. [S.l.], MORGAN JAMES PUBLISHING.

3. GOLDSMITH, M., LYONS, L., & FREAS, A. (2003). Coaching: o exercício da liderança. Rio de Janeiro (RJ), ELSEVIER.

4. BURNETT, W., & EVANS, D. J. (2016). Designing your life: how to build a well-lived, joyful life.

5. JOHNSON, W. (2020). Disrupt yourself: master relentless change and speed up your learning curve.

6. HUANG, L. (2021). EDGE: turning adversity into advantage. PIATKUS Books.

7. PHELAN, T. W. (2016). 1-2-3 Magic. Sourcebooks.

8. LANG, S. (2019). Grumpy Monkey. Random House Books for Young Readers.

9. GARCIA, G., & TAN, Y. (2019). Listening with my heart: a story of kindness and self-compassion.

10. STEWART, S., & SMALL, D. (2009). The gardener. New York, Farrar Straus Giroux.

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachMother & CoachCintia OrsiFri, 07 Aug 2020 19:58:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/8/7/atomic-bomb-and-my-journey611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165e8d4735bef4651d0c175

August 6, 2020 was the 75th anniversary of the Atomic Bomb in Hiroshima. It is important to me as third-generation survivor. Bomb, poverty, immigration to Brazil, new beginnings, new language, new culture, strive for education. In remembering and lamenting the suffering and pain of the past, we are given a chance to be healed. We move forward faithfully to a present full of gratitude and a hopeful future in new life.

My grandma was still a teenager when it happened. My grandpa returned to Hiroshima from war to find that all was gone: loved ones, home, property, documents. Because my grandparents did not speak much about the war when I was a kid, I used to think we were just like all the other Japanese families in town who immigrated to Brazil, striving to find a place in a different culture. I regret the lost opportunity to acknowledge when I was still a child, the hidden pain with my batchan (grandma) and my jitchan (grandpa) for what they lived, felt, heard, and saw.

In 2005, one of the main national Brazilian television shows reported the atomic bomb and had my batchan interviewed. "No more war," her final request. When I asked her if she wanted to tell me what happened, I still remember my grandma holding tears and speaking in a mix of Japanese and Portuguese words describing her way back home, which had to cross Hiroshima after the bomb. She had no memory of how long she remained unconscious after being thrown into the air by the blast. She still had to walk back home. No water; it was not safe. No idea of what was going on. Thank you, Lord, for guiding her steps and bringing her back home.

It has been years since my grandparents died. I hadn't been thinking about our relationship with the past until I moved with my family to the U.S. and started to know, read, and hear other stories. It is incredible how easily we forget and take past learnings for granted.

The awakening of racial brokenness seems to be driving us all to our roots, history, and ancestry. I am grateful for the beautiful people God has brought to our lives, for the opportunity to learn more about people's history, and to celebrate people's unique contributions to the world. It has been quite a journey, and I walk faithfully with the hope for a world of racial reconciliation.

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachGive + CoachingMother & CoachCintia OrsiThu, 18 Jun 2020 20:45:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/6/18/what-is-my-role-in-racial-brokenness611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165f3ccc6d83e1adaacc431

Learning hard truths hurts. Empathize with where you are. It is painful to know how much physical, mental, and spiritual damage has been done and sustained to our brothers and sisters for such a long time. Black voices are finally being heard, sadly under sacrificial awakening. For a long time, trying to tell the world, the voices had been silenced in many different ways. It is an awakening of how much harm we can cause to other human beings based on unconscious or sometimes conscious assumptions and perceptions about another person. We all do. Acknowledging that we do it is a beautiful first step.

I never thought that my willingness to get uncomfortable and to disrupt myself would serve the world. I always thought it to be a weakness defined by how others saw me instead of embracing the fullness of who I am. Until I could finally thrive in being "different." I finally understood that others would only see me through their lenses, based on their own identities and experiences. I am finally embracing my humanity with the gifts, strengths, and flaws that it entails. What does this have to do with what is going on with the world right now? I find myself in a moment where I need to talk. I have been learning so much and still am, and I just realized that, like me, perhaps many of you are willing to take risks to embrace a new self.

Are you willing to talk out loud about your journey to the world? Can you get vulnerable enough to invite others that are different from you to share their journey with you?

I am. I think I have been doing that all my life, I just was not aware. The awareness had to be built. It was not a particular moment in my life. Still, the combination of situations allowed me to listen, get curious, share lives, volunteer, have difficult conversations, act. And start again, and again, and again. Some of you may have shared part of your journey with me, perhaps professionally, perhaps personally. Only God knows my entire journey. Not even my husband, whom I have shared more than 20 years, understands my whole self. And all this is beautiful. It means that you will always be different no matter what, no matter whom! The difference is good, is unique, you have an outstanding contribution to this world!

It is okay to end up having more questions than answers when engaging in conversations and change. Serving as a leader for the women's business network for a multinational agricultural company, I learned that there is a need to listen, be heard, and have a voice. It is past, present, and future. Timeless. How much I was unaware. I am still on this awareness journey. It was a preparation perhaps to this moment. To the awakening of racial reconciliation. Coming to the US, being educated by black friends, local communities, racial reconciliation seminars, webinars, book clubs, and conversations. I think it is a journey we should all commit to taking. I am very grateful to be present, witnessing, and supporting as I am called. 

It is an incredible moment of awakening and reconciliation. I am hopeful that we all can engage in a bold, loving way. I peacefully seek justice, higher than ourselves, beyond cultures and nations' interests and history. Racism is present everywhere and in everyone, even if governments or individuals don't recognize it. As we are learning and eager to reinvent ourselves to contribute to the world, what are the ways we engage in listening, acknowledging, lamenting, and making a difference to the voiceless?

1. Engage, listen and acknowledge

2. Bring awareness to systemic racism if you can. Start with what is close to you:

   • Education

   • Food and Nutrition

   • Social, political, economic systems

3. Do something about it, if you can:

   • Bringing people together

   • Speak for the voiceless

If any part of my journey resonates with you, or if you think I could be a great partner to support you in your journey, let’s talk!

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachGive + CoachingWords of GratitudeCintia OrsiSat, 30 May 2020 20:45:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/5/29/keep-thriving-at-home611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165f3d4cd917042908f48aa

“And spread the word - if we can all be kind to each other and to ourselves, our world will be more loving, caring, and harmonious”

Not again!!? I know, I know.  It is kind of part 2 of Thriving at Home posting AND MUCH MORE! In this blog posting, I highlight key findings in research on crisis and disaster impacts on human well-being for awareness and discernment when making choices in returning to social interactions.

Irina Todorova, in her introduction to resources posting "Creating Resilient Communities During a Quarantine" by the Institute of Coaching at Harvard, summarizes the key responses and behaviors to crisis and disaster adversities including the well-known "freeze or flight" and the amazing "tend to be friend" response, which refers to the tendency to affiliate with others. We lament that quarantine does not allow contact and gathering, which would help to reduce the impact of isolation. She then gathers recommendations of ways to limit this impact on well-being, one of which is to realize that it is an expression of altruism toward others. Some examples of such acts of altruism were mentioned in Thriving at home posting.

As she continues, one reference got my attention. Based on evidence, Krzysztof Kaniasty suggests that many post-disaster recovery challenges involve interpersonal relationships and a sense of community. Also, how the survivors perceive their support and understanding of belonging to a social group and community are essential for successful recovery.

With all this in mind, while we are still in transition and decisions are being made to leave the quarantine and therefore isolation, what can each one of us do before leaving isolation?

1. We can be resourceful! - Perhaps you reached out to vulnerable ones, perhaps you were reached out by your neighbors and your community, perhaps you had mental health and well-being help and support. You know that you can find help.

2. We can learn! - By revisiting our reactions and actions during the quarantine, what are the learnings I am choosing to take with me? Any other lessons that would serve me for my self-reflection?

3. We can express gratitude! - Make a list of all the fantastic things that you witnessed someone doing, or that you received from someone, or that you did to someone. Please read the list and observe how it impacts you.

4. We can commit! - What a stretch assignment to commit to staying at home, right? And you did it! The people of the world, thank you for that! It is an amazing demonstration of altruism, knowing how hard it is to stay isolated! Cheers!

5. We can go beyond our self-interest! - Yep, the pandemic hit everyone, regardless of geography, political party, race, culture, religion. Unfortunately, the impacts are more significant on the vulnerable classes and groups that were already underprivileged before the pandemic. There is a call for social justice beyond self-interest (or group-interest). What did stand out to you during this period?

6. We can choose to see beautiful things! - This takes a personal note, as so much joy and awe stirred deep inside me from watching the Life and Vision of Lilias Trotter in her bio "Many beautiful things". What inspiration! How about you? What are beautiful things that you saw or experienced during quarantine that otherwise most likely you would have missed?

Now that you are aware of all things you can do, I invite you to capture the items below in one sentence. You may decide to do nothing about it, or perhaps you may choose to move forward with some of them! That would be awesome! It would be great to cheer for you! Please share in the comments below.

A - one insight

B - one self-care action

C - one action for the neighbor

D - one action for the community that you belong

Wishing the best for our leadership

What would you like to see more in your leadership from all that you have seen people do, those who inspired you during this time of covid-19 isolation?

What would you like to see more in your leadership? Perhaps, more connection, vulnerability, empathy, communication, availability, wisdom, kindness, what else? I would like to hear from you. Please share in the comments below.

With extra care, self-care, and care for others, we learned that our lives are fragile and have so much to be thankful for! Perhaps we can embrace the joy of connecting with others, with nature, and being in the world. Because we care, maybe we have the choice to stay home or to leave the house in a conscientious safely manner for a new thriving beginning.

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachGive + CoachingMother & CoachWords of GratitudeCintia OrsiSat, 23 May 2020 20:00:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/4/21/terrarium-making-class-fun611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165e943965a6d6a94e7eaa5What is your earliest memory of caring for others? How about your earliest memories of caring for the planet? For the animals, for the plants? What if you know that by making and caring for your terrarium, you have the chance to experiment with care, compassion, resilience, creativity, get curious about the interactions of living and non-living things and what makes a terrarium a beautiful mini-ecosystem.

An enrichment workshop

In the past winter, when most of the natural green was hidden under the snow, a group of nature-loving children was committed to making their terrariums. With covid-19, I thankfully delivered all their terrariums for the students to take home the day before the quarantine announcement. It is then with gratitude and joy that I share with you that the terrariums made it and brought purpose and joy to the children during this time of isolation.

"I enjoyed learning about ecosystems and the difference between living and non-living things. I also enjoyed decorating the terrarium" (C.)

The Journey from Vision to Care

Children learn in many different ways. One way I appreciate is by experimenting with the power of uniqueness, care, and consideration to learn to become the best they can be. The uniqueness of each student was reflected in their unique terrarium creation from their vision of a mini-ecosystem. They beautifully created amazing art in landscaping and soil layering from the same resources available to them. 

“E. liked to be with her friends, creating her terrarium design and deciding what to put in her terrarium, learning about plants, and getting to take her terrarium home…" (E. mom)

Moreover, they had access to basic scientific knowledge, the importance of the soil and each layer, the basic needs for the plants to thrive, the potential overgrowth of microorganisms, algae, and fungi, and the understanding of what constitutes an ecosystem and their equivalent biome on Earth. They also learned to be resourceful by putting together their tools and brainstorming new tools that can help clean or build terrariums.

It was an incredible experience for me to witness how the kids found their own "voice" as their way of creating and caring for their mini-world. Learning the importance of care and observing the balance of the living and non-living things, learning to monitor and only intervene if and when necessary. 

“M. said the most enjoyed part of the workshop is terrarium is like a real forest, but she could design by herself and decorate in the way she wants. It is a small world." (M. mom)

Does it sound similar to anything familiar to you? Perhaps just like our own development, for instance?

Ways of working

Above all the fantastic sharing and exchange, the children also expanded the class ground rules by adding their own "ways of working." That meant accountability! They eagerly committed to the number one most requested thing: "HAVE FUN, FUN, FUN and MORE FUN." - Thank you, kids!!!

The Motherhood Call

As a parent, one of the best things for me is to serve, encourage, share, and teach while having my children learn and grow with me. When opportunities like that happen, we know that all parts are ready to commit and compromise. I want to express my heartfelt thank you to the parent-teacher association of my children's school (PTA), the Enrichment Program team, and the Art teacher who shared her room for this amazing opportunity to share with the children my passion for terrarium making in this incredible workshop after school. Thank you, the parents, for entrusting your children to this fantastic experience!

"E. liked to be with her friends, creating her terrarium design and deciding what to put in her terrarium, learning about plants, and getting to take her terrarium home…"  (E. mom)

About generations and passion

I like to think that the passion for plants flows across generations and would like to express my respect and gratitude for the richness of my heritage that taught me so much. My mother (Japanese-descent Brazilian), who learned from my grandma's, taught me how to appreciate plants. My mother-in-law (Austrian-German-Descent Brazilian) taught me the art of terrarium making and plant decorations. So grateful for that! Now, it is such a joy to witness my daughters appreciate and help me with the workshop with compassion and kindness.

The hope

It is thrilling to hear how much they enjoyed it! I hope the terrarium-making workshop has somehow contributed to the appreciation of the world, to the appreciation of the delicate relationship of the living and non-living things in the world. The understanding that little can impact a lot the entire system, for the negative but thankfully for the positive too!

“R. enjoyed the class a lot. Thank you so much for providing such an excellent enrichment class. We appreciate it. Her terrarium is looking great! "(R. mom) 

“It is something I have never done before. Very hands-on, fun!" (A.)

“I enjoyed learning about ecosystems and the difference between living and non-living things. I also enjoyed decorating the terrarium" (C.)

It is rewarding to hear from the parents how much their children enjoyed the class and continue to enjoy the terrarium at home. They also shared their knowledge with their family making more terrariums!

Thank you all for an amazing time to learn and create with lots of FUN!

- The photos and comments are published with the parent's permission. The names have been omitted to protect the children -

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachCintia OrsiFri, 15 May 2020 20:00:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/5/14/your-personal-brand-unfolding-full-of-life-by-carol-lara611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165e946f495f52b9e47d608

I have known Cintia for some years and I know her history, her talents, I know her values well. When we talked about the development of her brand, I realized and decided it would be a special project, because I knew very well the dream that I would have to summarize in a concept and image. To tell you a little bit about my creative process, I will narrate an episode that took me to the current iconographic representation.

My husband and I enjoy being in the middle of nature, we feel energized by the clean air, by the tranquility away from the city, by the sounds of what is natural. One morning, in early spring, we went for a walk in a park. We stroll through the trees, impressing ourselves with every corner, seeing the natural cycle of the seasons and talking about how everything becomes new after the ice. It is always an evident freshness full of delicate and striking transformations of the landscape.

In this bucolic setting, one species predominated and stood out. The huge ferns covered the ground and displayed their new leaves that unfolded full of life. The little I learned about botany came to mind: "'Potatoes' are rhizomes and their leaves open up as they grow" - I said, showing my little knowledge.

I like to learn from nature and ferns are not recent curiosities. Rhizomes started to intrigue me, since the philosophers Deleuze and Guattari "stole" the term for the central concept of their book 'Mil Platôs'. In it, the authors subvert the concept of vertical ethical-aesthetic-political models for a proposal for horizontal social growth, without a closed form.

I instantly connected the dots and had an insight. I remembered Cintia's work, because the same thing happens to us. We are non-linear, spontaneous beings. We are unique and we have unique paths. We nourish ourselves from different sources, we seek for more fertile soils, favorable climatic conditions, fresh water, light. There is no correct and predetermined path, on the contrary, for each person there is an ideal soil and conditions so that our potential is explored and has life.

And, if we think about it, the role of the coach is similar to that of a botanist. The coach is dedicated to the growth of people, provides tools for balance, pruning edges, identifies weaknesses and strengthens them, helps to deconstruct what is not welcome so that a more solid story can be built.

People are not closed forms, they are the result of constant changes and need care, energy, food. Cintia's branding is the symbol of this reflection: a fern sprout growing and unfolding, like our personal development. We all have the potential to be big and leafy ferns, and that is achieved in favorable conditions.

About the author: 

Carolina Lara is Art Director and Graphic Designer who created the logo, website and collateral marketing Cintia H. Orsi, 2018. www.carolinalara.ca

Thanks to Steve Bittinger,  Agata Kaczowka,  Timothy Dykes for sharing their photos on Unsplash.

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachMother & CoachWords of GratitudeCintia OrsiFri, 08 May 2020 20:00:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/4/21/thriving-at-home611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165e94827d581011d8f60b8"To all the compassionate servants that make this a better world. Along them, we all can thrive at home in our own way.” - Cintia H. Orsi

What does "thrive" mean to you? We are unique. It won't mean the same for everybody, right?

 As I was writing this article, I attended (amazingly on the same day) two great webinars that deeply resonated with me and my coaching style and proposal. Thank you, Dr. Senka Holzer, for Research perspective: Shift in Value System – Shift in Well-Being at the WBECS full summit session, and thank you, Nermine Zakhary, for Playing to Your Strengths: Your Roadmap to Excellence & Personal Fulfillment at ICF Upstate New York's slate of programming for International Coaching Week 2020.

They have inspired me to think deeper about the actions and their impacts on people's lives of all that I witnessed during the covid-19 outbreak. Although "thrive" may have different meanings, the individuals who shared the sense of thriving are deeply rooted in their core values and play with their strengths.

Dr. Holzer proposed that too much focus on our acquired values (compared to core values) can decrease our well-being due to an expectation-reality gap. This is very timely with covid-19, considering the clash of expectation and reality we are living in right now. So, knowing that, what can be done to increase our well-being? And how?

 Have you stopped to observe beautiful things happening around you? The positive outcomes of all that is happening with us. Reconnection, compassion, new learnings.

I invited myself to look around! Watch and listen to people reconnecting to their core values through their passions and strengths.

I present a glimpse of 9 ways we can witness how values, needs, and behaviors impact our well-being. Most likely, many of them will resonate with you. If not, are you ready to experiment with it yourself? Here is a challenge if you decide to accept it: from everything you read below, what is one thing (or more) that positively stands out to you and that you are willing to do it? Are you ready to take the first step knowing that all these had a favorable influence on people's lives? What if you also know that the more you work on a specific skill, the faster you master it?

 1. Gift and cause together - to those who have the call to be there for others, a heartfelt thank you! - doctors, nurses, frontliners, teachers and educators in remote connection, bus drivers, food providers, essential workers. I know there are more roles, and I hope you feel included as well.

2. Serving the community - the power of the collective to support the local community - to all the groups and organizations that have been formed to provide food, shelter, well-being, mental health, and spiritual support, especially to the most vulnerable ones. For the Ithaca (NY) community, including Cornell and Ithaca College students, faculty, and staff, check it out for coaching: Ithaca Coach Collective. If you need support or are interested in supporting initiatives, Human Services Community digest will keep you up-to-date.

3. Helping in silence - all those who are there for the community, for the neighbor: making masks, donating, supporting the local business, providing pro bono and exchange of services, staying home, writing letters to vulnerable people, checking on neighbors, celebrating small things and praying.

4. Learning to be stewards of livings things  - to all who are learning to appreciate the indoors and the outdoors in a different and more meaningful way, raising kids and pets, gardening, hiking, sheltering, cleaning, observing, running, biking, swimming, bird watching, caring for nature, an especial thanks!

5. Strengthening relationships - reconnecting with forgiveness, compassion, patience, genuinely opened to know the other. For parents and caregivers, a fantastic opportunity to teach and learn with the children and the elder that perhaps would not happen otherwise. For couples, a moment to know and love the other in a different extraordinary way. An opportunity for a unique growing together moment in family.

6. Becoming interior design master - we all have our way to organize our living space to feel safe and rest. It is interesting that while for some people, the home décor brings security and comfort, for others, the need to arrange allows them to become very good in interior design and organization. It is a DIY time. Also, an excellent metaphor for cleansing. Cleaning and organizing inside and out.

7. Self-challenging oneself in new skills - Skills that you would not dare try otherwise. This caught my attention the most, perhaps, because I envision it to be one of the top drivers to influence and inspire how we will do things after covid-19. I also hope that the reconnection with values on serving others will be remembered and a pillar for future changes in a sustainable way. Learning to play in the piano a song per day for 30 days, making sourdough starting from a fresh starter, baking and cooking like you never did before, playing with the kids many times a day, becoming a resourceful cook and also sharing that, learning to be a long-distance educator, networking, becoming a technology expert, learning new ways to socialize, gardening, learning how to cut hair, drawing, learn to play a new instrument. This list has no end.

8. Self-discovering and caring - It is interesting how you have time to self-reflect, arrange, and self-care by removing the automation of routine and potential distractions. Choosing to have time to care for yourself so you can be there for others, eating well, exercising, reading more, finding ways where your talents can help others. Here is a special thanks to Erick, my son, who helps me with the site and blog for his time, talent, and inspiration!

9. Appreciating life - finding pleasure in tiny little things by observing, giving, receiving, and sharing. The fragility of life has been revealed, and much we can do is to feel grateful for another day, the beautiful sunshine, the natural colors, sounds, and smells, for a smile given and a smile received, a nod, a wave of a hand. Knowing that all these simple things in life are gone for many, loved ones included, gives us another perspective and desire to live our lives fully.

From all that, I believe we can make a better world while being congruent with who we are and having the opportunity to contribute with the full spectrum of our gifts and strengths. 

 I invite you to take this time to know more about yourself. Can you identify at least three habits (new ones or next level) that will give you the most traction to continue experimenting with positive change in your life?

Coaching is a powerful ally to help you to get the awareness of how your values and beliefs are impacting your life, to experiment with new ways to apply your passions and strengths, and to develop new skills in creating and accessing resources you need to achieve and track your goals.

Have you discovered something new about yourself during this experience?

On a personal note, I am very grateful for the opportunity to reconnect with my family and friends in ways that, even if well-planned, would not happen if not for the covid-19 pandemic. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to witness and appreciate this moment.

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachWords of GratitudeCintia OrsiThu, 30 Apr 2020 20:00:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/4/20/stillness-in-you611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165e94ab8fc7b5b8d4805d3

Hello, beautiful, thriving, and striving people!

While there is debate and controversy, there is agreement that we long for stillness at some point in life, a state of internal peace. It is a unique moment in time that calls us to stillness, or perhaps, stillness is a disruptive move you wish you could take, an opportunity for re-connection and transformation like no other. Stillness means different things, at different levels and degrees to different people. I would love to learn what it means to you.

Today, I invite you to join me in an internal dive in book reading, or even better, walk on a path of gratitude towards our local bookstore Buffalo Street Books - a metaphorical walk, as we are all supporting our collective efforts to mitigate the outbreak by staying home. The pandemic has changed many lives and impacted business in various ways. With that in mind, I bring my practice of lamenting the suffering and hardship to all impacted. I share my support in words of gratitude towards simple actions that were taken when things were good, and privileges could blind, but did not. A hand extended to the needy when no one was looking.

In a way, reading to myself and reading to my children can trigger stillness in me. Have you ever found comfort in a book amid the chaos? We all have unique dynamics at home. To give you a picture of my home: in addition to all the changes that we all have to manage with staying home working, growing with our kids (3 at home and 1 in Brazil), and connecting with family and friends, it is time for nursing weaning and potty readiness for my youngest. Thanks to God, we are privileged to share our lives in a family with health, faith, and love where the pursuit of stillness is part of everyday life. Where can I find helpful books for this moment in time?

Have you ever found comfort in a book during chaos?

Buffalo Street Books is a beautiful local independent store, which you, yes you, can own too. Walking downtown, the store was always there for a stop, for the children’s corner, for a quiet place to be. It is now temporarily closed to the public, which has already financially impacted the store. The great news is that you can help in different ways. BSB has a new website with various digital resources and from where you can order online at your convenience. Perhaps next time you look for a great book, you can order through Buffalo Street Books website.

In a personal note of gratitude, Buffalo Street Books and, in particular, Lisa Swayze, the general manager, have done so much for my family and me. Extraordinary embracing events and book clubs, support to Ithacan community events, a place of great heart and partnership. It is a store for the community indeed.

I make terrariums—enclosed ones. One great thing about this incredible ecosystem is that, when stable, it requires minimum maintenance. Buffalo Street Books opened its doors to be a home for two of them for the last year, a great joy to the customers, including me. They thrived there. With gratitude, I share that one terrarium found a new home, and the other hopefully goes back when the store reopens.

Would you consider supporting Buffalo Street Books to reopen and continue to be a literary hub for our community?

1. Become an owner of BSB

2. Place orders online BSB

3. Access e-books and digital media, subscribe online BSB

I have ordered the books online! Looking forward to pick them up!

Thank you, Buffalo Street Books and Lisa Swayze!

We have all experienced something new these past months. We are learning new ways to connect, intimately live, enjoy and appreciate time alone, and appreciate stillness. 

With much gratitude, faith, hope, and love,

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachGive + CoachingCintia OrsiThu, 23 Apr 2020 20:45:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2020/4/21/what-is-coaching611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165f3d601b82a694d29e92a

What is coaching? Perhaps we should start with: what is not coaching? Coaching is not psychotherapy, counseling, consulting, nor mentoring. Coaching is not a regulated profession yet. That means you can find a wide range of definitions and impacts. Associations of coaches have developed accreditation programs, certification paths, code of conduct, and ethical guidelines to raise coaching standards, so society can continue to benefit from great coaches. 

The International Coach Federation (ICF) defines coaching as "partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential."

The Institute of Coaching at McLean, an affiliate of Harvard Medical School, defines coaching as "an interpersonal process that helps people achieve positive change and growth. By harnessing innate strengths, uncovering intrinsic motivations, and asking empowering questions, coaching fosters self-generated insight, vision, and goal clarity". The institute published an article that describes the complexity in defining the coaching profession. Quoting "Coaching as a practice is very young and is made up of practitioners from a wide variety of disciplines and backgrounds, from business consulting, Human Relations (HR) and Organizational Development (OD), and training, to sports, education, and philosophy, to any number of psychological disciplines such as industrial/organizational (I/O) psychology, counseling psychology, clinical psychology, and social psychology. Given the varied backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives coaches bring, it is not surprising to see a lack of consensus about definitions, methods, and techniques."

While defining the coaching profession is difficult, there is a general agreement that the coach is there for the client, in the present moment, helping them to become resourceful in moving forward towards a purpose from the place they started.

Coaching models, approaches, tools, and assessments are in constant development. With that in mind, organizations have been created to train coaches by providing a continuous educational path. While being knowledgeable and resourceful is excellent, the coaching power comes from the partnership with the client. An effective coach is there for the client, in the present, with a servant's heart.

If you read up to here and think that coaching would have a significant impact in your life, before you decide on your coach - and yes, you have the power of choice - I recommend you to do your research and also ask for a pre-coaching meeting, when you will get to know your prospective coach and have a genuine conversation. Look for credentials, commitment to a code of conduct, and ethical standards for coaching, references, and testimonials. Above all, ask yourself:

• Is this the coach that I am willing to trust and be vulnerable?

• Is this the coach that I invite to be part of my self-awareness, learning, and growth journey?

To obtain a coaching credential, the coach must demonstrate a series of competencies (for ICF core competencies link ; other organizations may evaluate different core competencies). During this time of the Covid-19 outbreak, the core competencies of a coach will be challenged. There is loss and grief, much need of healing and self-compassion in a collective way.

I believe the coach will need:

• To have flexibility, agility, and eagerness to learn - a mindful dance of zooming in and out from the client interaction. For example, be critical and open-minded of the never-ending new tools and resources for a broad perspective, then zoom in to be present with the client for personalized individual care. A tool is just a tool in the toolbox if not applied or adapted to the proper context.

• To thrive in the unknown to have each client journey, each client session, a unique and uplifting experience for the client regardless of the place the client started.

• To build a new level of resilience, the coach can be there for the client beyond the physical presence.

• For more on building resilience, see American Psychological Association article, and Flex - the art and science of leadership in a changing world by Dr. Jeffrey Hull.

I believe in the uniqueness of the human being's journey. As a scientist, I understand the search for patterns, trends, and models for knowledge and innovation for a functional society. The eagerness to learn evidence-based models and approaches is part of the role of a coach. As a faithful servant, I believe the heart to serve others must also be there, the eagerness to know the other as they are.

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachGive + CoachingWords of GratitudeCintia OrsiWed, 14 Aug 2019 20:45:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2019/8/14/a-letter-of-appreciation-to-the-southside-community-center-ithaca611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165f3dc9d934a692218ef63

Learning to be part of different communities by cultivating relationships, exchanging ways of thinking, and ways of doing things is a wonderful process that I wish every person had the opportunity to experience starting early in life.

It is heartbreaking, though, to witness how much of the conflicts and hate in the world are driven by differences or the thought that the difference would justify segregation instead of Unity. Interestingly, many of us have the privilege to have a family (first community) and still find it hard to choose to embrace diversity and easy to impose our view on beloved ones. It is a process, a learning process that takes time and practice.

In a certain way, I observe how the interaction of my multiple identities influences my sense of belongingness in the communities I am actively engaged. By multiple identities, I mean the groups or roles I find belonging at some point in my life, such as Brazilian, mother, coach, scientist, Japanese-descent, Christian, artist, wife, daughter, singer, peer, sister, friend, leader, servant, volunteer… Do you also experience how your multiple identities interact and impact the way you respond to situations in life?

How much are we willing to give up in order to connect with others who look different, or think differently or act differently from me? How many times by fear, instead of approaching and listening, do we freeze and be silent? Well, the fact is: we're all unique, so we're all different. Uniqueness means that regardless of the community and the everyday things that unite that community, it will only connect to a part of you, not the whole you. What is the purpose, then? What is your goal for belonging to a specific community?

For my family, there is a unique community we appreciate and want to formalize our gratitude in this posting. A beautiful neighborhood that was created from the need for security, safety, a call, and a cry for what today we understand as basic human needs and rights. A historical safe place and community for the black and browns in the Ithaca area. We must talk about race, speak of privileges, and talk about lamentation and healing.

"Southside Community Center (www.sspride.org) works to affirm, empower, and foster the development of self-pride among the African American citizens of greater Ithaca."

I am not black. My husband and my kids are not black. We are Brazilians, Japanese-Austrian-German-Italian descendants. We are not black, and we are not North Americans. Yet, we were welcomed and embraced by the Southside community center, our loved neighborhood. That makes Southside heartily special! There is so much I appreciate and would like to acknowledge.

In these almost two years, I witnessed thrive and hard work of empowered blacks and browns for the kids, the families, and the neighbors. Dedicated and passionate staff ready to embrace and introduce Southside to anyone who steps into the building. Special thanks for the dedication to the kids' programs: Southside Afterschool Program, Southside Summer Camp, and the Community Unity Music Education Program (CUMEP). The teachings on the black history in the US, abolitionism, the connection with African countries culture, the desire for cultural healing and social justice. Significant learnings and insights in how much our knowledge and education can hurt if we don't listen first, understand, and adjust to the needs. We all have a background, experiences, and the best intentions to apply our knowledge, skills, and talents. But how do we know we are serving the purpose of our community? How often do we ask for the vision and mission before imposing what we judge to be the best?

Thank you Dr. Nia Nunn, for your vision and mission to serve the local black community and continue our conversation towards a better world. Thank you, Mama Fern, Katie, Kayla, Brooke, Ppipa, Mama Sharon, Rhody, counselors, and afterschool assistants, for your time and dedication to the children and the center.

It has been a deep awareness journey to acknowledge how much there is still to learn, cultivate gratitude for new relationships meant for healing and reconciliation, and celebrate the beautiful diversity our humanity brings to the community. This relationship is a milestone that calls for gratitude and celebration to serve the world with the best usage of my gifts.

This is a letter of appreciation and an invitation to all who want to learn beyond knowledge and intellectual gains. To everyone who wants to discover their better self, know and love your neighbor.

With gratitude, love, and peace!!!

- Photos approved by the Southside leadership under release consent for the programs. -

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachMother & CoachCintia OrsiWed, 07 Aug 2019 20:45:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2019/7/26/pack-for-a-purpose-moving-out-of-the-country611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165f3ded7f7b3610d33bdf6

Hello, my friends! We are back on another step in the journey of becoming a coach.

Before today’s post, a few things:

1. Timeline - the posts won’t necessarily follow a chronological order. We can say we will embark on a non-linear journey;

2. Writing skills - as you may have noticed by now, English is not my native language. I hope you don’t mind mistakes here and there… if you do care, let’s talk! Maybe it is an excellent opportunity for coaching, or perhaps I am not the coach for you at this moment;

3. Language - I will also be posting in Portuguese, my native language (it won’t be perfect either). I just ask your patience as it will be delayed from the English version.

I am letting it go! Opening space for new things in life!

This whole process represented more than a moving event. It was an incredible metaphor for us, as a family and as individuals, which I believe could potentially serve you as well. We experienced and witnessed how the whole process of a practical external change can impact our internal change experience and vice-versa. Letting go of limiting beliefs and anything that no longer serves us to open up space for positive empowering ways of thinking and attitudes, relationships, and opportunities. I am grateful to have witnessed positive impacts beyond our family, in friends, neighbors, extended family, everyone who has been walking along with us during this process.

I could dramatically describe this process (soon, you will know the numbers). For me, the process was straightforward and more peaceful than stressful, maybe due to past experiences and mindset for the task. Watching out for signs of struggle in my family to walk together had a profound impact in embracing the diverse way people choose what to value and what is essential in their lives.

Mid- 2017, a house of 5 to move (the youngest child would be born a year later), one child moving out to College, and Ponyo, our dog whom my parents-in-law lovingly adopted. A few more numbers: Six (6) open houses - Two (2) months - more than one thousand (1000) items - wonderful family, friends, and neighbors! Mission Accomplished!

If you are curious about the numbers, it was an eye-opening exercise to keep track of all the items. It was our upgrade list, a let-go-list, whatever you want to name it. For us, it represented steps towards materialistic freedom.

Another interesting fact is that open houses, yard, or garage sales are not typical in Brazil. Considering the pros and cons, that was a risk we took, much planning with contingencies and risk mitigation. It was a fantastic experience.

Personal insights and Learnings:

1. More space (physical or mental) we have, more willing we are to fill it. We were wisely choosing what would bring us the most positive impact for our purposes.

2. Letting go is more than okay. It is essential for our growth and development as human beings.

3. Building trust comes with building positive relationships in our lives.

4. Empowered by faith, I experienced and witnessed reconciliation and new meaning in life. Gifts in giving, in listening, in being present in the moment.

5. Cultivating gratitude for every encounter and relationship created is a habit to be nurtured.

I like to plan. I improvise as well. Maybe that is why I enjoyed the moving process so much. That doesn’t mean it was easy. Indeed, it took longer for our decision-making and planning process than the actual doing it. I consider ourselves experienced with moving (5 times as a family), but this one had a different meaning.

It was a powerful metaphor for transformation, letting go of materialist pride, intellectual pride, opening new space in life for new things, new perspectives, new relationships. I am grateful to have met beautiful people along the process. With new partnerships and volunteering, new skills and competencies developed and a new look to our humanity.

Gratefully,

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]]>Cintia H. OrsifalseThe Journey of a CoachGive + CoachingMother & CoachWords of GratitudeCintia OrsiWed, 24 Jul 2019 20:45:00 +0000https://www.cintiaorsi.com/blog/2019/7/17/how-did-i-get-here-a-business-journey611f9ae69090f92babfdfb6e:61208ee228271e5ea9bdf17e:6165f3e133feaa09b288a97dNavigating in coaching business is a big challenge for me. It is out of my comfort zone. I am learning. A lot. I have great teachers and mentors. Incredible encounters along the path. It is a peaceful journey because I know what my calling is. I serve people, their empowerment energizes me into finding their journey and giving back their gifts to the world.

It sounds wonderful, right? But how do you know what this means to me? What is the best way for you to know me? What is the best way to know someone you’ve just met? Get curious, ask questions, start to build a relationship. Hmm… so I guess this is my purpose for this blog. I want to build a relationship with you.

I must have written this post more than seven times. Write, erase, rewrite… I still think I am the only one who understands it. I realized something was missing. The conversation is missing. How about an interview? I put together the most frequently asked questions I received when people learned I became a coach. That works for me! I hope it works for you.

Q. Why executive and life coaching?

Cintia - Before working in a multinational company, the only coaches I knew were sports coaches. Someone with knowledge and skills to train an athlete to be the best in their field. Early in my career, with a Ph.D. in Plant Breeding and Genetics and various career opportunities in the company, I could never imagine how important coaching and mentoring would be for me in navigating the corporate world and becoming a leader in the organization. In the process, I learned that great mentors are great coaches. My best leaders were great coaches. I knew the hierarchy-less nature of coaching as I had great coaches that were my employees and peers. Coaching is a partnership in which you give your 100%, and the other partner offers their 100% in an empowerment journey to achieve meaningful goals. The coach is there to serve the coachee and thrives with each discovery, learning, and achievement. I noticed that it was always there, my passion for people, for their development. I am still passionate about plants, their beauty, and their complexity! Such an excellent metaphor for human beauty and complexity!

Q. You had a career in a multinational agribusiness company. What led you to the decision to leave your job and career for coaching?

Cintia - My decision to leave and to change careers cannot be singled out into a straightforward motive. It was a thoughtful, profound, full of let go’s process to embrace new things. Almost like having to cross a deep dark valley without knowing what I would find on the way, though I could envision the green pasture on the other side. It was tough. Besides me, my family, my spouse also had to understand and agree with the trade-offs we were about to make. We went to a deep dive into rediscovering values, gifts, and talents, empowered by faith. I can imagine how hard it was for colleagues to accept or even understand my decision to leave the company based on their questions and surprising comments. I realized how much we, as human beings, impose our views, perspectives, and values on others while we could choose to listen and acknowledge the other’s perspective, emotions, and decisions. A couple of the most impactful coaching skills. I had so many unanswered questions in my mind: (1) What if I could spend 100% of my time dedicated to people’s development?; (2) What if I could say no to travels, so I did not have to spend days far from the family?; (3) What if I could spend more time with my family and activities that energize and bring the best in me? (4) What if I could give back to the world my entire self, all my gifts combined, instead of just a part of me? How would that be? Where would that be?

Q. How being a coach related to your purpose and values?

Cintia - Being a coach fulfills my purpose, values, and best use of my gifts and strengthens my faith. I know my path is with people and working with plants is a practical and metaphorical way, almost a universal language that binds us all together for the needs and the beauty. My highest values are in God’s love, family, inclusion, uniqueness, and integrity. I am a Brazilian Japanese-descendant, married with a Brazilian Italian-German-Austrian-descendant, mother of 4 wonderful children ranging from 14 months old to 20 years old. Why is that important for you to know? I have known diversity and the importance of belonging and embracing uniqueness all my life. Living in different cities and countries expanded my multicultural awareness. It gave powerful meaning into initiatives I was honored to participate in, leading towards a more equitable working place.

I am curious about how and for what motives people approach or interact with others. I happily engage in approaching others, and others recognize that willingness in me. When people approach me, I notice that they are ready for a change, for a transformation. Most of the time, I am just there listening and witnessing the transformation as awareness is created. Very grateful for that! This has been my life since I remember it. Then, the sensible action plan was to get educated and certified in coaching frameworks, tools, competencies, and practice, practice!

Q. Could you be a coach in the company you were working for?

Cintia - Yes! There is so much power in organizations that invest in leader-coaches. Valuing the employee as a resourceful essential part of the company and helping them achieve their goals. There is a big catch though, that requires agreement (and awareness) from all stakeholders involved. The leader’s conflict of interest in delivering results versus focusing on people development. Most of the time, they converge. Sometimes, the strategy and timing for the company require the leader to make a decision not necessarily in agreement with people’s time and development. For me, while significant in supporting leadership competencies, the leader-coach role limited the potential to serve and support people as a whole human being.

Q. In which way do your background and experience impact your coaching process?

Cintia - Unlike consulting and mentoring, in which you would seek someone with the expertise and experience you desire, a great coaching process does not require expertise in your professional area. It requires a clear proposal and agreement for the partnership and a coach you trust and has demonstrated competencies and skills to best support you in your journey. I appreciate International Coaching Federation ICF for that. It provides ethical guidelines and required competencies for the coach. I am Associate certified coach (ACC) by ICF. Through my experience with the requirements and the thriving results from my coachees (see Testimonials), I realize I have been practicing the skills and competencies since a long time ago, as a scientist, mentor, leader-coach, and as a mother. The game-changer for me was to start practicing conscientiously from the pieces of training and certification by Integrated Coaching Institute ICI, then digging even deeper when mentored by Empower world.

I coach researchers, I coach educators, I coach parents, I coach leaders. Maybe it is the personal or professional connection. Maybe it is the language. Maybe it is just meant to be, maybe… As a human being, I have multiple identities that create this beautiful, complex mind driven and passionate by other complex minds. I am a mother of four, yeap 4!, wonderful children, each very complex and different in their uniqueness. Learning to let go of motherhood perfection is a constant reminder of how fragile we are. I allow myself to be vulnerable as the best way to reach out and be reached.

Q. What do you think you do as a coach that gives the most value to the coachee?

Cintia - Being present with them. It allows me to access the questions they need answers, listening and reflecting back on what they just said, getting curious about their way of thinking and the way they respond to adversities. With their permission, offering information and tools to elaborate on and create their plan of action towards their goal. I care for them. I believe that because I care, it is never superficial. It is safe to dive deep into challenging limiting assumptions, beliefs, and automated reactions from powerful awareness and transformation.

Q. FOR What are you grateful as a coach?

Cintia - Each session is a unique learning experience. As the client brings the goal for the session, it is special for me as a coach as well. We walk together. Sometimes we run together. Sometimes we pause together. It is all in the client’s need for that particular moment. I am very grateful for the coaching dance and the incredible results I can witness as a coach.

Q. What is your current professional challenge?

Cintia - Get people to know me so I can be there for them. If you are interested in helping, let’s talk! The only catch is that you will have to know me first…

Gratefully,

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