Driving home from church this afternoon I was struck by this haunting question from Switchfoot’s song, “This is your Life” … are you who you want to be?  A stirring thought for June’s first Sunday.  

Am I who I want to be? 

Are you? 

Is anyone? 

Definitely fodder for a journal, bible and pen.  Who, exactly, are you meant to be?  Listen carefully dear one to the answer that may rise up inside of you.    

Here’s a virtual toast to all of the sensational women (and men) searching for the answer to one of life’s most daunting questions.  May you dare greatly as you dance to the beat of your own authentic self.  And remember, be bold, be beautiful, be you!

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“Values are like a compass that directs your life.”  Tony Robbins

Well said, Tony Robbins.  Values do act like a guidance system, which is why we end up being “rerouted” sometimes. 

Values “outages” come in all shapes and sizes.  Working late when you promised to have dinner with the kids,  eating sugary yumminess when the “clean” alternative is so much healthier, resolving to be kind and generous, then ducking to avoid the woman down the street that drives you crazy.  Yikes. 

Have you been there?  Me too!  Turns out we’re in good company.  Paul said it best in Romans, 7:19;  ”I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.”  

Top 5 Values Exercise

Whenever my life starts to feel a bit curly and I’m not sure why, I invest in a good cup of jasmine tea, and find a quiet corner at my favorite coffee house to unpack what is going on inside.   I invite you to grab a journal and pen, and try the  following exercise when you need to get your internal GPS system back on track: 

1. Make a list of your top 5 most important values.  (i.e. faith, family, health, contribution, etc.)
2. Make a list of your daily activities.  Consider what % of your time and energy are invested in what you say is important?
3. Is there a gap between what you say and do?  What is the cost?    
4. What do you need to start, stop or continue doing to get back in alignment with your values?   

Getting honest about these questions can be incredibly challenging.  Making the changes necessary, harder still.   Isn’t it a relief to know you have a loving Father in Heaven who is crazy about you either way?   

Girlfriend, this I know… neglecting to ”walk your talk” in life is a fast track to misery.  On the other hand, living a life that reflects the values God has knit together within you shifts everything.  Eyes sparkle. Energy explodes. Laughter comes easy.  Inspiration flows. And your days become supported by God’s magnificent love for you.  That just might be worth some quiet time, your favorite journal and a cup of tea… ya think?   

Blessings on your journey towards bold, confident living!  xoxo 

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“Without a vision the people will perish.”  Proverbs 29:18

Just finishing up a delicious day of hiking, lunching, and fellowship with a dear friend.  Somewhere between catching our breath and taking in the unstoppable beauty of the Pacific Coast, we stumbled into a conversation about dreams, Callings, diets and dating.  We both confessed while God often plants the desire for change in our hearts, the best laid plans can turn into vapor once Monday rolls around.   Have you been there?

GPS System

Just like you wouldn’t take a road trip without a good GPS system, you need a plan to rock that dream or idea that’s been nudging you.  Here are some simple steps to get your vision.

1. First, carve out some quiet time with your bible and journal to turn down the noise of life, and turn up the voice of God.  Write down any images, or impressions that come up and remember, God’s plans are much bigger than yours.
2. Consider the fears and barriers that keep your life small. What habits and/or behaviors do you need to start or stop so you can forge ahead?
3. Once you are clear on the above, goals are the pathway to take you to your destiny.

Long term goals:  (3-5 years) When you consider where you want to be in 3-5 years, write down the top five critical initiatives or goals that will get you there.  These should be big, scary and inspiring – requiring you to rely on God to make them happen!  Once you’ve made a list, prioritize the goals.  Remember,  no more than five.

Short term goals: (1 year) Next, write down the top five goals or initiatives that must happen in the next year in order to achieve your longer term vision.  Remember to list these in priority order.   (No cheating with more than five.)

Quarterly Goals:  Finally, write down your top five priorities for the next two quarters to realize your yearly goals.  These will generate the habits and practices necessary to help you achieve your longer term goals.  Completing these will give you energy and momentum to keep going.  You might want to highlight the top one of the five to remind you to finish this one first before going to the other priorities.

Tips to Stay the Course

• Review and update your goals daily, weekly, quarterly.  Do what it takes to keep your mental and emotional focus.  That may require some toughness!  Use a 3×5 card to write your goals and keep them in front of you.  Review them daily, and don’t let the test of distraction keep you from what God has called you to do.
• Accountability.  Engage a prayer or study partner to hold you accountable to your goals. Share your struggles and victories and ask for prayer to have the strength to stay the course.  Having a support system is the “secret sauce” to success – so don’t be shy about asking. Your partner will be blessed to be a blessing.
• Celebrate!  Be sure to celebrate your journey towards your destiny.  It won’t be easy – but it will be worth it.  Attach a small reward for progress steps and a big reward for reaching a major milestone.  We repeat the behaviors that get recognized, so get your party on and celebrate you!

Following a plan takes courage and determination.  It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

God bless you on your journey towards your best life!

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Surrendering Control

Psalm 84:11 tells us that, “The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”  If I lived my life as if this were true, could I really sit in the passenger seat and let God do the driving when it comes to my relationships? Could I give up the planning and strategizing and turn to praying and trusting that He knows what He is doing in the husband department?  Could I stop sifting through online profiles, scanning the room at singles events and meeting strangers for coffee – resting in the belief that the same God that turned water into wine has a grip on my dating life, with or without my supervision?

Could I have enough faith to know that when God orders my footsteps, nothing will delay the blessings He has for me?  Could I really transform my fear into faith … abandoning the need to “make things happen?”

Could you?  

The next time you find yourself wondering where the best place to meet eligible, Godly men is, stop and consider who is leading. If God gives His best to those who trust Him, maybe it’s time to let Him do the choosing?

Do you have a challenge trusting God to be in charge of your dating life? What would happen if you handed Him the keys?

Life on hold?   Accelerate!  Sign up for my FREE online coaching series to ignite your faith, dreams, joy and results.  

The post The Ultimate Matchmaker appeared first on Christian Life Coaching | Encouragement | Women.

In his fabulous book, “I Promise,” Dr. Gary Smalley reveals that emotional security is the cornerstone of marriage.  Saddleback Church, Pastor Rick Warren adds, “Security is everything in marriage.  It’s what every woman wants and what every man dreams of:  a caring, secure marriage where each partner serves the other with equal love and faithfulness.”  Amen to that!

So when was the last time YOU felt secure in a romantic relationship?  You know … where you felt completely comfortable opening up without fears of judgment or disconnection?  Where dinner conversations flowed with a sense of vulnerability and openness leaving you feeling valued and confident that the man across the table was committed to creating a secure environment should your dating lead to marriage?

Does He Pass the Security Test?  

Directions:  Circle all of the qualities your dating partner embodies.  If you circled more than one on the “fail” side, say your goodbyes and RUN …

Consider that if a healthy marriage is built on a foundation of security, shouldn’t “he” be showing these characteristics from your very first date?  Girlfriend, it is time we refuse to settle for anything less than His best, which means, anyone you date MUST pass the security test!  It’s time for a single girl’s awakening.

You are precious and God is crazy about you.  Don’t settle for less than God’s best for you!

Life on hold?   Accelerate!  Sign up for my FREE online coaching series to ignite your faith, dreams, joy and results.  

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Scripture says, “You have not because you ask not.”  Could it be that small minded, “safe” prayers lull one into complacency and constrict the blessings God has waiting?

The Prayer Experiment 

Further into the book, the author shares an inspiring story about a group of single women that decided to put their prayers to the test by joining together regularly to pray that each woman would find a marriage partner.  Throughout the year, the women shared their dating stories, their joys and their failures – all the while continuing to pray expectedly for each other.

One year later, out of thirty women, six were married or engaged to be married, and one was dating.”  6 months after that, six more of the women were married, five were engaged, and five were seriously dating.

Wow!   Never underestimate the power of women when they turn up the God channel and pray together in His name.  Halleluiah!

Something to Consider: 

• Are your prayers too wimpy?
• What area of your life is God calling you to trust Him more – to pray without ceasing?
• Invite a small group of trusted friends and start a prayer circle where you pray for each other fervently for the next year.  Share your trials, your joys and your successes and pray, pray, pray!

I can’t wait to hear your success story!

The post Are your prayers too wimpy? appeared first on Christian Life Coaching | Encouragement | Women.

Hang on Girl!   

Before you declare a strike on finding “the one” realize that God has a plan.  Following are some strategies for standing strong when the inevitable winds of disappointment blow in:

1. Take every thought captive.  Just for a minute, listen to what you are saying. Are you speaking abundance or are you speaking scarcity and failure?  Your words have power.  Get in agreement with God and focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.  You are the one giving substance to your world through your words!  God’s word says, “Let no corrupt talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.  Ephesians 4:29 … Decree and declare what you want – not what you don’t want.

 

2. Realize if God says no, it’s because He is saying “yes” to something better.  Haven’t been on a date in a while?  He never called back?  Rest in the understanding that every circumstance, every step, every delay  is preparing you for your next level.  “The steps of a man are established by the LORD, And He delights in his way.” Psalm 37:23.

 

3. Readiness.   Maybe if God has not delivered you from singleness, it’s because you aren’t ready yet.  Maybe you need to heal from a broken relationship from the past, or learn kindness so that when the right man comes along He will be drawn to your generous heart.  Maybe God wants to take your faith to a new level and a relationship might slow you down.  Realize that anything worthwhile in life requires taking steps to reach your destination.  Each trial, challenge or failure is simply preparing you for what God has planned for you down the road.  “The only reason we have steps is to take us to a higher level.”  Bishop TD Jakes

 

4. Praise Him in the Valley.  All you have to do to win the battle against disappointment is to learn to praise God in your current circumstances.  James 1 says to “consider it a sheer gift when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. “ This means, don’t wait until you reach the finish line, praise Him in the meantime.  Don’t complain, don’t be afraid, just praise Him and keep on walking in the direction He is leading.   You shall reap in due season!

Don’t Get Sidetracked

Whether you are single by your choice, or by the circumstances in your life, realize God is intimately involved in your state.  He sees you as perfect, whole and complete – with or without a wedding ring on your finger.  Don’t get sidetracked into thinking singleness is a “lesser” state.  He does not consider you on “Plan B.”

Enjoy Your Singleness 

Yep, I said it.  You can choose to enjoy this season of singleness – whether it is temporary or permanent.  After all, you have more time and freedom to explore and dream and grow than your married friends – so use the time to stretch  and serve the Kingdom of God in fresh and exciting new ways.

Finally, God is with you every step of the way.  Don’t give up!  Halleluiah!

The post Looking for Love? Don’t Give Up! appeared first on Christian Life Coaching | Encouragement | Women.

God has chosen you for a purpose.  You can’t be everything you want to be, but you can be everything that God wants you to be.  You can do something no one else can do in a way that no one else can do it.  You offer a gift to society no one else brings.  If you don’t bring it, it won’t be brought.  He has created you with a special gift made just for you.

Are you ready to claim your God given purpose or do you prefer to live someone else’s version of you?

Believe It

Stepping out in faith and acting on your dreams requires that you believe in your worth and potential.   To go to sleep with a dream and wake up knowing that God will help you, but you must cast the deciding vote.

Will you focus on the obstacles to fulfill your destiny, or on the bigness of your God to see you through?

“According to your faith be it done unto you” And their eyes were immediately opened.” Matt 9:29-30

Discovering Your Gifts  

“Make sure you understand what the Master wants.” (Eph.5:17 MSG).

You can do something no one else can, what is it?  At your best, who are you?

• What project or activity lights you up and lures you from the hurry of your life, where the hours disappear?
• What problems or injustices frustrate and compel you to want to do something?
• What ministry or activities engage, excite and thrill you?
• What gifts have others celebrated in you?
• When do you feel most satisfied and at peace, experiencing God’s glory?

Take an inventory of the bright spots and memorable moments of your life.  What activities, joys, or experiences make those moments stand out?  Could it be these gifts are designed to bless the world?

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that.” (Gal. 6:4 MSG)

Exercise: 

Take a piece of construction paper and fashion something that represents what special abilities and gifts God has equipped you with.  Use your hands to carefully guide the paper, letting God lead you through this exercise.

Once complete, share your story with 3 trusted friends.  Save your treasure in your bible to remind you of God’s special purpose, just for you.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” (psalm 37:5 NIV).

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It took years to piece together the torn fabric of my life.  Without a mother or father I felt different, flawed, damaged goods.  My high school years were a decent into limbo. People would say to me, “You seem so together” when I felt so apart. Bulimic and broken, my whole life a contradiction between who I was and who I thought I had to be in order to fit in.

Stumbling into adulthood relationships with men, I wanted to believe there was something within me that was needed and needed deeply. Terrified of being abandoned, I did everything I could to keep men in the room of my life.  I tried to talk them into staying with me, loving me, calling me, caring about me, staying attached to me. I stayed in relationships far too long because I could not accept that their chapter in my story was over.  So I kept trying to revive dead relationships f just letting go.  Slowly, God graciously revealed that what my relationships could never give me, He gives me always.  Amen!

Girlfriend, it is not where you have been but where you are going that matters to God.  Whatever trials you have endured in the past, if you believe in God, He will open doors that no man can close. Isaiah 61:7 says that believers will receive double for their shame and for their trouble.  Do you have faith that God will deliver?

Dear God,

Please lift my heart above the pain of former trials.
Remove from me the thoughts that hold me back.

Make clean my heart, make clear my mind, make new my life.

Amen

(Marianne Williamson, Enchanted Love)

Practical Tips for Navigating Life’s Storms:     

1. Run to Jesus.  “Seek ye first the Kingdom and his righteousness, and all those things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
2. Praise Him (there is healing in praise!)
3. Practice patience.  Allow Jesus time to work in your life.

God wants to restore your life completely.

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains …LET THEM GO!!! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. God is doing a new thing.  Whatever God means for you to have He’ll provide. Be prepared to move to a new level in Him and LET GO!

Points to ponder: 

• In what area of your life do you need to let someone or some circumstance go?
• What is God telling you to do?
• What is holding you back from doing it?

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In this first episode of the Kristine Gunn show, you will experience greater confidence, joy, and faith as you learn how to respond to the one question that changes everything.

The post Episode #1: One Question that Changes Everything appeared first on Christian Life Coaching | Encouragement | Women.