Because of the writers’ strike, ABC is leaning all the way into reality shit shows for their fall schedule and announced that The Golden Bachelor is happening. Calm down, Yung Miami, I didn’t say The Golden SHOWERS Bachelor. The Golden Bachelor will be a senior citizen who is looking for love (or some hot seasoned ass) among a group of ladies in their golden years. Yes, finally, the memaws of the world will get a chance to drunkenly fight each other for a man. Ageism is truly over! Speaking of, I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall as this show was pitched to male network executives. “Wait, so the show follows an old dude as he only dates women HIS age? Okay, we’re gonna have to market it as a fairy tale.” – Variety

Amused: Cannes juror Brie Larson was not when a reporter asked if she, a supporter of the #MeToo movement, was planning to see Johnny Depp’s “comeback” movie, which opened the festival – HuffPo

Every brown-haired pretty boy white actor in Hollywood is probably renting a Superman costume as I type this. Because casting is currently happening for Superman: Legacy, and in the mix for Lois Lane are Rachel Brosnahan, Emma Mackey, Samara Weaving, and Phoebe Dynevor. And apparently, the only choice to play Lex Luthor is Nicholas Hoult, while the frontrunner for Clark Kent is a brown-haired pretty boy white actor named David Corenswet. They tell me that David Corenswet is a Juilliard graduate and has been in several TV shows and movies, but after looking at his picture, I’m going to choose to believe he was created by Warner Bros. using AI to solely play Clark Kent – Lainey Gossip

Justin Long and Kate Bosworth are probably married now – Celebitchy

Even though Gabrielle Union is a multi-millionaire with Bring It On money, she still worries about her finances. Gabrielle also said that she and her husband, Dwayne Wade (reported net worth: $170 million), split all bills 50/50, and that probably made every gold digger in the land pass out – The Root

Trump-loving David Mamet will serve up a giant plate of lukewarm fuckery with his John F. Kennedy assassination movie starring Shia LaBeouf, John Travolta, Courtney Love, and Al Pacino – The A.V. Club

Pic: ABC

Last week, Addison Timlin filed for divorce from it boy Jeremy Allen White, star of The Bear. No reason was provided, but some completely unreliable blind items suggested that one or both parties cheated. Then, on Sunday, Addison decided to stir up some drama in honor of Mother’s Day. She posted pics of her and her two daughters, 4-year-old Ezer and 2-year-old Dolores, and opened her Instagram caption with, “Being a single mom is not how I pictured it. It is so fucking hard.” She went on to thank all the people who have “helped me in these last 9 months” since her split from Jeremy. To me, the implication is, “Daddy got famous and fucked right off.”

But even if Addison wasn’t trying to be shady, her post still got backlash. Commenters (JAW-obsessives?) took issue with her use of “single mom.” via Page Six:

“There is a difference between being a single mom and being a mom that is single,” commented one follower.

“Calling yourself a single mom acting like he isn’t in the picture wether [sic] you guys are or aren’t together is childish,” wrote another.

“even if yall r splitting u aren’t a single mom? they literally have a dad? he’s just busy? lmfao…. this gives me weird passive aggressive vibes,” commented another.

After a few hours, Addison changed “single mom” to “co-parent.” But she still kept in references to “doing it alone.” Here’s her post:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Addison Timlin White (@addison.timlin)

So, if JAW and Addison broke up nine months ago, it means her glowing Instagram post after his Golden Globe win in January was post-separation. At the time, JAW commented, “Love you”, and in his Golden Globes speech, he said he loved his wife “deep in my bones”. Hmmmm. HMMMMM. Maybe that Addison-bone love was too deep. And his other bone got in the way of their marriage (boner/cheating reference). Tune in to the next episode of “Critically Acclaimed Lead Of “The Bear” Gets His First Divorce!” to find out.

Pic: Instagram

In late 2019, RuPaul bought a $13.7 million mansion in Beverly Hills (every last cent was paid in FrackBucks [there, I burned my obligatory fracking joke right off the top]). Since then, RuPaul and interior designer Martyn Lawrence Bullard have completely transformed the “grand but uninspired residence” built in the 80s into a swanky “fever dream of Hollywood regency.” Now, Ru is finally ready to show that shit off to Architectural Digest. Cuz if a celebrity spends a kajillion dollars redesigning their mansion and nobody from Architectural Digest is around to take pictures…  does it even exist?

RuPaul gave AD a personal tour of his and his husband Georges LeBar’s home, starting with his fancy-ass foyer, via Architectural Digest:

As for decorative drama, the slay bells start ringing the moment one steps through the front door into a palatial, powdery-rose entry hall featuring a sweeping stairway with serious Mommie Dearest overtones.

What a sentence! Next up is Ru’s “disco room.” This black-and-white room is filled with disco balls, a fancy fireplace, and framed pics of iconic disco artists like Diana Ross and Donna Summer (and also Josephine Baker). Now it’s time to head to the kitchen, which RuPaul describes as “very bold.” It features a fancy orange LaCornue oven. RuPaul says orange is his favorite color. Personally, it’s my least fave, but you do you, Ru.

After the kitchen, it’s time to head on over to the breakfast nook that features a large gold light fixture in the shape of a leaf. Ru shares that it once belonged to Yves Saint Laurent in the 1970s. Then he yammers on about how this house was designed with “community” in mind, and the breakfast nook is where he and his guests play dirty charades. However, in the actual AD article, Ru says this:

“I entertain on television, not at my house. When you live such a public life, you need boundaries,” RuPaul insists, emphasizing his preference for intimate gatherings and small dance parties with close friends.

Up next is the “dining pavilion,” a giant black-and-white circus tent. Ru says this room was inspired by Elizabeth Taylor’s card room in the movie Boom! (1968). Then Ru takes us to his office, that’s very orange and filled with his Emmy awards. He says he thinks it’s an office Joan Collins would enjoy. RuPaul also shows off another office, his “office workspace,” which sorta looks like a boardroom with a bar. Then there’s his living room. It was inspired by “great lady designers” of the 30s and 40s, such as Dorothy Draper and Elsie de Wolfe.

Finally, it’s time to take us to one of Ru’s massive walk-in closets. The first one he shows off is his menswear closet. It contains a wooden sewing box that once belonged to Ann-Margret. Later in the video, he gives a tour of his drag closet. It has mannequins and tons of jewels and a connected glam room where he gets his hair and makeup done. Here’s Ru’s video tour and some pics from AD:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Architectural Digest (@archdigest)

Disco balls! Inside RuPaul’s Beverly Hills home. (Via Architectural Digest) pic.twitter.com/MiwTd2P0uf

— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) May 16, 2023

currently obsessing over RuPaul's massiva mansion pic.twitter.com/WTszGFMIum

— Seddera Side (@sedderaside) May 16, 2023

All those black-and-white stripes and zig zags! Thank god RuPaul hasn’t had a drink since 1999, cuz if your house looked like that when you came home wasted, it would trigger a mean case of vertigo (please note, I do not know how vertigo works).

Pic: Architectural Digest

Restaurant owners across America are stress-smoking cigs as we speak because culinary terrorizer Gordon Ramsay will return for another round of Kitchen Nightmares on Fox. This is good news for minimum-age-earning line cooks who really want to feel worthless while getting screamed at by Gordon Ramsay. Although, they could scream back at him, “Instead of yelling at me, try to work on your dismal Kitchen Nightmares success rate of only 16%.”

Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares first debuted in the UK in 2004 and ran for five seasons. The American version debuted on Fox in 2007 and ended in 2014 after seven seasons. The show followed Chef Ramsay as he spent a week in failing restaurants, reading its owners for filth for their shitty food, dirty-ass kitchens, outdated decor, and as always- their refusal to introduce any change to improve their business. Gordon canceled his own show after one restaurant owner pushed him past the edge, according to People:

Despite the series’ popularity, the show ended after a 7-year run. Ramsay admitted to Entertainment Weekly in 2018 that it was his idea to cancel the series.

“I canceled my own show on Fox, Kitchen Nightmares. I woke up in the middle of the south of France after filming a week with a British guy I wouldn’t trust to run my bath, let alone my restaurant,” he told the outlet. “Because he was running a ski resort, he felt like he could take advantage of all those customers because there was nowhere else to eat. He was giving me shit for telling him the truth and I thought, ‘I’m done.'”

The Daily Mail reports that this time around, Gordon will be producing the comeback season of Kitchen Nightmares with his own production company, Studio Ramsay, instead of ITV America, which produced the show before its cancelation.

Canceling the show wasn’t exactly a career-ender cause he’s still going strong with four other shows on Fox: Next Level Chef, Hell’s Kitchen, MasterChef, and MasterChef Jr – plus a fat total of 58 restaurants in his name to date. And I just wish that Fox ordered two seasons of Kitchen Nightmares because one full season alone needs to be devoted to updating us on the one and only Amy’s Baking Company (RIP)!

Pic: YouTube

Once upon a time, before Chris “The Worst of His Name” Pratt found Jesus and subsequently got so lost in his own sauce that he had the audacity to compare himself to him; he was married to and had a son with Anna Faris. But they ended up divorcing, both to eventually remarry. And these days, Chris has a habit of barfing out saccharine social media posts about his current wife, Katherine Schwarzenegger, so it was par for the course that he hunt-and-pecked out a Mother’s Day tribute calling her an amazing mom to their two daughters and stepmom to his son, Jack. Though Chris did include his mom and mother-in-law in the post as well, he didn’t mention Jack’s actual mom, Anna; and his comment section went wild with accusations that he had intentionally shaded her.

Chris was one of the many Instagram Mother’s Day post-feed-cloggers this past Sunday when he posted a picture of himself with Katherine, her mom Maria Shriver, and his own mom Kathy Pratt along with a tribute to them in the caption, but Anna was nowhere to be found.

“Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers out there. Especially grateful today for Katherine. You’re a wonderful partner. You’ve provided me such a blessed life. Our two daughters are so lucky to have you,” the actor, 43, said of Lyla, 2, and Eloise, who will turn 1 over the weekend.

Not only did Chris snub 46-year-old Faris — to whom he was married for eight years before the pair decided to divorce in August 2017 — but he also called Katherine, 33, “the best step mama to Jack.”

After gushing over his own mother as well as his mother-in-law, the “Guardians of the Galaxy” star concluded his post, “And to all of the other moms in my life, I’m so grateful for all you do- thank you so much. Hope you feel celebrated today.”

Here’s his post:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Chris Pratt (@prattprattpratt)

This isn’t the first time Chris has drawn ire by omitting the members of his first family from his Instagram posts. As we know, he caught a ton of shit a couple of years ago for thanking Katherine for their “healthy” baby daughter (in a post that wasn’t even, like, a birth announcement), which seemed like a pointed qualifier to choose considering his and Anna’s baby son Jack arrived prematurely and had some health issues. The internet never forgot and immediately got to work reading him for his Mother’s Day snub.

“And ur [sic] other baby mama? … And the other mother? … What about jacks mom?” critics demanded to know, with one calling his lack of “appreciation” for “the one who gave you your first child” plain “gross.”

“Forgot someone…” another noted, with someone else adding, “Happy Mothers Day Ana [sic] Farris.”

“It would not have killed you to acknowledge the mother of your first child by nam[e]  like really!” another dissenter remarked.

Though a few people who aren’t completely sick of his smug cat-disposing mug yet came to his defense since he tossed in a generic “all mothers,” which would technically include Anna.

“He literally said happy Mother’s Day to ALL of the mothers out there, that includes his ex,” one person commented. “Everyone calm down.”

Another pointed out that the “House Bunny” star “never made a father’s day post about him after they broke up either” and called the outrage a “double standard.”

We should expect no less from The Worst Chris. There’s a pretty high likelihood he’ll publicly cry some victim-complex tears about this, but maybe Nick Cannon can sit next to him and provide some comfort as a fellow Mother’s Day 2023 ball dropper!

 Pic: Aurore Marechal/Abaca Press/INSTARimages, David Edwards/Media Punch/INSTARimages.com

If you’re ever feeling nostalgic and want to binge on a few feel-good movies, look no further than Michael J. Fox‘s 80s flicks, especially the franchise that solidified him as an 80s icon, Back to the Future. And since Hollywood is out of original ideas, a Back to the Future reboot is probably inevitable. Michael J. Fox was asked for his thoughts about the possibility of a BTTF reboot without the original cast. No, he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but his ultimate response was, “I’m good,” because he cashed that check decades ago.

During an interview with Variety, the subject of reboots came up, and I’m sure Michael was ready to yell “Cut!‘ like he was in the director’s chair. Because nobody asked for, nor do we need a damn Back to the Future reboot. And Michael had no time to be polite with his response because he already knows it would be an awful idea.

“I don’t think it needs to be,” Fox added. “I think [writer/director Robert Zemeckis and co-writer Bob Gale] have been really smart about that. I don’t think it needs rebooting because are you going to clarify something? You’re going to find a better way to tell the story? I doubt it.”

But Michael J. Fox then shrugged and admitted that he’s not THAT protective of the franchise:

If Hollywood ever opts to reboot “Back to the Future” without the original cast, [Fox] says he’s at peace with the decision.

“I’m not fanatical,” Fox told Variety for a recent cover story on his life and career. “Do what you want. It’s your movie. I got paid already.”

There really hasn’t been any word of a potential reboot, but hopefully, this movie will remain untouched. Because even now, the film still captivates audiences, but probably in a very different way since the future we were promised ain’t anywhere near the one we got. I’m still waiting on the Black and Decker pizza hydrator and have BEEN waiting since 1989! But, I digress (pardon my hunger).

Pic: INSTARImages

Who needs a good work ethic when you’re already a mega-rich, famous celebrity? I’m assuming not Lil Wayne, whose Welcome to Tha Carter tour finished up its run in Los Angeles over the weekend. The lucky people at the final show of Lil Wayne’s first full tour in four years were blessed with a set that started HOURS late. And if that wasn’t annoying enough, he quit that bitch extra early because the crowd didn’t show enough excitement for the featured new artists from his label who he brought out. Roll in late, roll out early; sounds like me on my last day of work at any retail job.

The Welcome to Tha Carter tour kicked off in Minneapolis last month and hit 28 cities, including Chicago, Toronto, Atlanta, Birmingham, Nashville, Austin, and San Francisco. And the tour ended with a WOMP WOMP during its final stop at The Wiltern in Los Angeles. If you love a show starting almost four hours late and then ending early, you would have loved the L.A. show. via Complex:

As claimed by attendees on Reddit, Twitter, and elsewhere, Weezy cut his set short on Saturday due to the audience’s reaction to an intermission performance from several artists on his Young Money roster…

“We ain’t about to be bending over backwards for these folks,” Weezy is seen saying in one clip. “We worked too hard for this shit. We worked way too hard. This is my motherfuckin’ artist Allan [Cubas], that was [Lil] Twist, that was Yaj [Kader]. We are Young Money. We appreciate y’all time.”

Here are tweets from fans who say the same thing. People didn’t love his new artists, so he threw a hissy fit and ended the show:

I will never go to another Lil Wayne concert again after he arrived 3.5 hours late then performed for 30 had intermission put his new artist to perform then came out and canceled the rest of the concert because the crowd wasn’t hype enough for his new artist. #wiltern #lilwayne pic.twitter.com/hB9u4DfHof

— Empress (@HerNameIsEmpres) May 14, 2023

went to the lil wayne concert tonight. we waited 3 hours for him. then it was lit it was cool then he brought out some of his new artists along with lil twist they was whack. wayne got mad and canceled the show. im still in disbelief like he really did that. smh #lilwayne pic.twitter.com/KNNSAm4WqX

— letmeborrow40dollas (@MarcusRealFunny) May 14, 2023

Hmmmm, opting not to finish a show because he felt like the people attending weren’t acting adoring enough to the people he wanted them to? You know, a year ago, Lil Wayne suggested he was becoming “too wealthy,“ and I think this proves he was correct. Only rich and rich people and Gen Z have this kind of work ethic.

Pic: Seth Browarnik/Startraksphoto/Cover Images

Normally, songs by The Village People are equated with drunken receptions and overall good times. Unfortunately, Donald Trump, who wouldn’t know a good time if it bit him on the ass (right Stormy Daniels?), has taken the sacred disco hymn known as Macho Man and turned it into a battle cry during his get-togethers as the un-happiest place on Earth; Mar-a-Lago. This isn’t the first time Don Cheeto has used the Village People’s music to rile up his rhythmless nation of MAGA morons. And now Victor Willis, lead singer of the Village People (seen above in police drag while performing with the real group), is sending a cease and desist letter over a recent performance at Mar-A-Lago that featured fake Village People.

Huffington Post reports Victor’s wife, Karen Willis, who is the Village People’s manager, does not want the group’s legacy tarnished by false advertising. Because Donald Trump claiming he’s a macho man is laughable at best, but once you add in his sour memaw dance moves, it becomes clear the only thing strong about him is whatever glue he uses to affix the timid porcupine resting on top of his head.

You have to love Trump’s dance moves! pic.twitter.com/RWF3C9mjzw

— Lyndy (@MJisMAGA) May 12, 2023

The Village People aren’t only upset that Trump is using their music. They also have an issue with Trump using Village People look-a-likes to lip-sync along. Granted, people should be smart enough to realize these men look way too young to be the actual Village People. However, common sense didn’t cross the threshold into the new millennium. So Karen wants to make it clear that the Village People have not now, nor will they ever, be in line with Trump or his divisive brand of politics.

The letter was sent in response to a video clip that went viral on Thursday and appeared to show Trump dancing to a performance of “Macho Man” by a group of costumed men, who were allegedly not connected to the actual Village People.

Willis’ ceast-and-desist letter claims that since the performance was first posted on Twitter by user @MJisMAGA, the band “has been inundated by social media posts” that suggest “many fans and the general public … mistakenly believe” the group in the video is the actual Village People.

“Therefore, the performance has, and continues to cause public confusion as to why Village People would engage in such a performance,” the letter reads. “We did not.”

Willis then puts Trump on notice for potential violation of U.S. trademark law.

“To be certain, the use of the group’s image and the likeness at Mar-A-Lago was unauthorized,” the letter says, before hinting that a lawsuit may be forthcoming to protect the band’s trademarked image.

Mega-sperm carrier Nick Cannon recently assured everyone that he didn’t fumble his past marriage to Mariah Carey, but it looks like he admittedly DID fumble Mother’s Day for at least a few of the six mothers of his 12 children this year. So if there was still any notion that he’s been handling this mass re-population effort he’s perplexingly spearheaded, well, the answer is “definitely not” if his mixing up of the handwritten Mother’s Day cards he attempted to hand out is any indication.

According to Page Six, Nick said on his radio show yesterday that his plan was to hand out Mother’s Day cards to each of his six chosen wombs (Mariah, Brittany Bell, Abby De La Rosa, Alyssa Scott, Bre Tiesi, and LaNisha Cole). But since Hallmark doesn’t make “thank you for being willing to look like a goddamned fool and be complicit in the dysfunction of some innocent children’s lives all for the sole purpose of me having a trademark schtick” cards, he planned to include heartfelt handwritten messages inside each one. 

During Monday’s episode of “The Daily Cannon,” he detailed that although he had all the right intentions to write “handwritten messages from the heart” for each of the women, it just didn’t work out as planned.

“I thought it would be a really really good idea to show people how you really feel, write it down,” Cannon told co-hosts Courtney Bee Bledsoe, Mason Moussette and Abby De La Rosa, who is the mother of his twins Zion and Zillion and 6-month-old Beautiful.

However, all of his energy must have vacated his brain long ago to migrate to his ball sack; because he ended up handing out the wrong cards to a few of the baby mamas. As Nick continued on, it was evident that co-host/baby mama Abby wasn’t one of those who got someone else’s card. Probably because she’s the one who recently claimed that seeing Nick with his other BMs turns her on, which probably turned him on enough to at least remember her name.

“As I’m writing a handwritten message, I get the cards mixed up. And then so when one baby mama reads the card about how I feel about the other baby mama …” Cannon said before De La Rosa let out an audible “wow” from her microphone.

It is unclear if the DJ was one of the mothers who got swapped, but her reaction suggests that she received the correct card.

Next year, these women should fully expect less.

“I tried my best, I really did,” he added.

Cannon exclaimed that the mix-up might not have happened if he had “just gotten some generic s—t that everybody else got,” but his co-host didn’t let him off easy.

“No, if you would have focused, that wouldn’t have happened,” Bledsoe told him.

Here’s him slouching through that story. He must be multitasking by icing his nuts or impregnating someone else under that table during the show:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by NICK CANNON (@nickcannon)

Nick claims to make “$100 million a year,” and he can’t even spring for one of those Kay Jewelers’ Jane Seymour “Open Heart” necklaces (that always looked more like a set of boobs and a butt than “open hearts” to me) for each of these six forlorn uteri? Time for him to hire an assistant whose sole responsibility is to keep a spreadsheet of who gave birth to which child(ren), along with one positive maternal characteristic for each, so this mess doesn’t happen next year!

Pic: Michael Simon/startraksphoto.com/Cover Images

As we know, Martha Stewart isn’t the only baddie on the cover of the current issue of Sports Illustrated. Megan Fox is also on the cover looking like the above, and during a cover shoot interview-type scenario, Megan talks about how she suffers from body dysmorphia and sadly says that she has never once “loved”  her body. But one part of her body Megan is boldly not ashamed of? Her internet-famous toe thumbs! 

37-year-old Megan Fox says that while she grew up in a very religious household that never talked about things like hot sexy bodies, she actually ended up having body issues very young via Entertainment Tonight:

“I have body dysmorphia. I don’t ever see myself really the way other people see me… There is never a point in my life where I loved my body. Never, ever.”

“…When I was little, that was like an obsession I had, that I should look this way,” she recalled. “And why I had an awareness of my body that young, I’m not sure.”

While she’s excited to be covering the issue, and she understands her public persona and image, Fox admitted, “The journey of loving myself is going to be never-ending, I think.”

While she may not be able to see her own hotness, she understands her public image and persona as a bombshell. But she says that she hopes the first thing people notice about her when meeting her is her big, beautiful “aura.” Bitch… I am not Tyler Henry, I don’t see into other realms. Although, I don’t think he can either.

When asked what she hopes people first notice about her when they meet her, Fox explained that it’s nothing to do with her physical appearance. Instead, “I wished everyone noticed my aura, because I have a rainbow aura, and it’s special.”

Megan was then asked about the internet’s obsession with her legendary toe thumbs. Megan has a form of brachydactyly, which gives her short thumbs. And apparently, in the practice of palm-reading, Megan’s short-ass thumbs mean she has a short temper. But she swears she doesn’t, via Parade:

“I don’t know why people are so fascinated by my thumbs… Like, I never thought that was a weird thing or an embarrassing thing. They’re just kind of short. Is it really that crazy?…”

“I think I have tons of other flaws that are way more interesting than my thumbs… I don’t know why people focus on that. I don’t know… I’m not embarrassed.”

“It’s also known in palmistry as a “murderer’s thumb,” …Because they say the shorter this area from the knuckle to the tip of the finger is–especially the thumb–correlates to how short your temper is.”

“It takes a lot to get me to lose my temper… A lot.”

“I have crazy patience, but when you do push me over the edge, you’re on demon time, and you better run for your life… It’s scary as fuck.”

I believe Megan is a calm person usually. I mean, she’s dealt with Machine Gun Kelly for the past three years. That must take patience. Although, I bet her short-tempered toe thumbs have a mind of their own and shake with annoyed rage every time MGK opens his mouth…

Here’s Megan’s interview with SI:

Pic: Sports Illustrated